CELIJUDITH   2,594
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CELIJUDITH's Recent Blog Entries

Hi guys, it has been a while since I've been on SP. I'm 31 lbs away from my goal weight. Please gi

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

I am finally 201.0 pounds! At my highest I was 233. I am excited because I am only 2 lbs away from being under the 200lb mark, and 31 lbs away from my goal 170. I really want to do this. Slowly but surely. :) OMG I'm so excited, but I'm also afraid from not getting there and it just seems so surreal. I literally can't believe that ME, a girl like ME, can do this. I can't see myself down there in those numbers. Please give me advice.... I really need it.

  


Just got home from school. =) A lot is going through my head. =@

Thursday, September 08, 2011

I had a good day at school today. I passed my first quiz with 85%. Although, I did pass,I wanted a higher passing grade. I guess I have to study more next time. I say a lot is going through my head, but truth is, my head is just spinning around. I don't know what to think. I want to think about everything, but I feel overwhelmed with thoughts.
First, today has been a good day. Because my daughter started pre-K. That was fun. My baby is a BIG girl now. And I'm glad to see that she is independent for her age, and that she wasn't shy with the teachers.
What I didn't like about today was that I didn't get to work out. As soon as I got up, close to 9. I didn't use my time efficiently. I had to get ready at 12 to go to my daughters orientation. I left at 1:45 from my house. Her orientation ended at 3:45. I start school at 5:15. I went to my moms house during that hour. At 5 I left to school. I got out at 9:15pm. So i didnt get a chance to work out. Should I be getting up earlier? I mean even if I did get up at 7am, I live in the second floor, so I can't be jumping and running in place because the people downstairs will think there is an earthquake or something. And I can't go outside because my daughter is home at that time since she got afternoon classes. And I have no babysitter. =( so I am doomed.
I wish the day was longer so I can have more time to workout, more time for school, more time to be a mom, more time to be a wife, more time to clean, more time to rest. My days go by too fast, and I feel like I get nothing done.

  


DAMN i was typing a big long blog, and I lost it somehow... I guess I have to restart from the begin

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

I don't know why I hate my family so much. I know HATE is a strong word. But I don't mean to actually HATE my family. Is just to describe how Angry I am at them. So It doesn't even matter I have family. I don't want to be near them. I need time off from them. I know this is Sparks People. And this is like the 578693 time I've came back, still being fat... I still weigh 204. I know that I have achieved something due to the fact that I was 233 before. And somehow I have managed to keep that weigh off. Although I did go back up to 214 but Now I'm back at 204. So I dont know if I will be able to do more this time. I mean I can't seem to go down more weight. Something is stopping me, and I'm done with that. I don't know why I cant seem to go down more, but I am mad at myself for trying "not trying hard enough." So I came back hoping I will do it this time.
So I recently enrolled in a community college to get my GED. Since I never got my high school diploma. So I am so ready to get this out of the way. I don't know what is more important to me, my GED or my health and fitness. I guess I have to choose GED. and somehow manage to get my fitness in during the day. I am just going to stay away from my family. and dedicate myself more and only to #1 my daughter, #2 School, and #3 those together and fitness and health incorporated everyday. I see it hard to do, but I'm done being scared of lazy. I'm going to show myself that I can do it, that I can do it by myself. SO my family can see that I did something they thought I couldnt do.. Because my own sister put in a bet that I would'nt be able to do it. So I wont even show her that she was right. I'm going to show MYSELF that she was wrong.
This is going to be a challenge for me, but I know I can do it.. even if i fall out of the wagon, I know I will get back on.
Something inside me still wishes I had a nice strong bonded family though. They don't understand me or how I have blue days sometimes. Some worse than others... Especially the time during PMS. I actually did go to the doctor for a check up... He said I have had depression for a long time and that I need to see a psychologist also he said I have anxiety so he gave me medication for that.. Which I never went to the pharmacy to get because I've been like this for so long I thought I could handle on my own, and fix it some other way. Sometimes i do think i should get it though. Cuz' there is days when I feel im going to lose it. but i manage to go through those days. Never went to the psychologist because I D K. But I am managing to get through this.
I am done feeling like this. Especially towards my family. and towards myself. So I'm going to take a break from them and from my feelings. I am going to dedicate myself to just 3 things. and thats it. I will get somewhere. I want to be proud of myself and things I accomplish.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRISSA3 9/7/2011 10:56AM

    emoticon

So wonderful to hear that you're going for that GED! My own DD stopped high school mid-way few years back. She was distracted by a guy (who is no longer in her life...hallelujah!) At 22 she's finally going back, too.

I think you may have hit the nail on the head re: trouble losing. Sometimes our personal lives build a wall that we can't get over. I think maybe by going back to school and doing something for yourself will give you that boost. It may surprise you what you'll be able to accomplish with this new-found dedication.

Keep us posted! All thoughts and prayers for you. Now...go get 'em, girl!



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it's 5/11/2011.. Didn't meet goals...

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

So I set my goal to be 199 by may 1st. But I didn't do it... I got lazy and stopped working out as much.. I was eating better than I would in the past, I made healthier choices, ate less, and drank little to almost no soda, Even though I'm very disappointed in myself for not sticking to my routine, I don't see myself as a failure, I have learned to do things and change little things in my life, and as little as they may be to some people, they are good changes for me and I feel accomplished for keeping them with me without even trying. My daughters birthday is on June 1.. Ive set myself the goal to go from 205.1 to 199.0. I want to be able to do this. I want to prove myself the point that I can be under 200lbs. I want to do it so I can be even more motivated to keep going and never ever be over 200lbs.. I am sticking with the program!! and I hope to be 199.0 on June first.. Hey maybe I'll even go under 199... =P Cheer for me SPARK friends!!! I feel real gooD about setting this goal. =)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUPER_ME 5/17/2011 1:00AM

    You should definitely be proud of yourself for sticking with those positive changes. Good for you! And good luck on your goal for June 1st. You can do this!

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MAGPIE17 5/11/2011 12:46PM

    Good luck!

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MJREIMERS 5/11/2011 10:31AM

    Hang in there! You've already made life changes that will benefit you and your daughter. Life is full of challenges and this is one that you can "fix." Good luck!

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Update On my wonderful changes!! =D

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Ok so I started of going 4 weeks ago. And I feel awesome! There is 111 days left until summer and I dont know where I will be when summer gets here, I just know that I'm setting that date to see back on what I've accomplished. I have lost 7 lbs and gained muscle. I feel great. I know 7 lbs is not a lot but I feel so much better, not so sluggish, I wake up early at 7 or 8 and not feel tired.. (I used to wake up around 10:30 before.) I have a lot more energy and I feel very proud of what I've been able to do. My workouts are better now, I can last longer and I can take the pain better than before... jejeje. My daughter knows everytime I go to the gym and she gets happy when I go. Not that she knows what it is, she is only 3, I think she notices that I have more energy and I'm in a better mood everyday. My hubby gives me support and he is also starting to work out now. Lazy is what lazy does, I guess he didnt care for his health cuz I didn't but now that he sees my motivation and my choice for healthier foods, he wants the same for him. I bought 3 - 2 liters of pop, for our guests...(squirt, strawberry fanta, and rc) and I havent had my usual 3 glasses a day. Now I only sip a little bit from my husbands glass like twice a week. And I notice I don't crave it... it was just a habit.. And I'm getting rid of that ugly bad habit of drinking and eating just because. I dont want that anymore. I dont want to feel full, sluggish, bloated, and yukky and fat. I like feeling light, not hungry just right, and strong. I came back with a different mind set, and I feel I'm getting far this time. Don't know where yet. I just feel it's going to be a wonderful change. =D

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUPER_ME 3/9/2011 1:47PM

    That's great! Sounds like you have made some awesome progress. And that's great that your husband is getting healthier too now. You were a good influence! Way to go, and keep up the good work!

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MAGPIE17 3/2/2011 2:20PM

    Such awesome changes....keep up the fabulous work!

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