Monday, December 31, 2007
If you look in my photo gallery, you can see that I have taken before pictures. The clothes I am wearing in those pictures, I have not tried on until tonight. I was a big happy, but more disappointed then anything because the clothes weren't as loose as I had hoped. Granted, the pants fit me much better now then they did at the time I took the pictures, but they aren't as loose as I thought they would be almost 50 pounds lighter.
No biggie. I am going to keep trying to lose weight and maybe after another 4 months, they will be too loose to wear. One can hope, can't they?
I will post the pictures as soon as I find the cord to upload the pics onto my computer, but I must say, I compared them already myself and there really isn't a big difference, so I may not post them and just wait for a while longer.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
I'v e been sick for the past week and a half. I did horrible on tracking my food and not exercising. I seriously haven't exercised since I got sick. Well, I got on the scale this week and showed a 5 pound loss. I couldn't believe it. I literally didn't track any thing I ate for 3 days this week and didn't do anything for exercise but still lost a big amount of weight. I don't know if I am going to show a gain next week, to level out this big weight loss, and I hope I don't, but if I do, I know it will be just that...to level it off. I am getting my appetite back and am back to tracking, although I am still not exercising because I still don't have the energy to do so, but next week, I will definitely be happy with a small loss.
Losing these 5 pounds was a big deal for me because I was getting disappointed about not being close to my goal of being down to 250 by Christmas. This weeks loss brought me down to the 250s which was more than I could ask for. I was really ecstatic. I still am.
On one of my teams, we started a new goal which is to lose 25 pounds by April Fools day. April 1st, 2008. I know I can do and when I do, I will be down to 233.8. My main goal is to be down to 243 by my birthday which is March 6th and I know I can do that too. I am only 15.8 pounds away from that. I can make that goal and surpass it. Wish me luck! I am off to a new start!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
I am copying and pasting most of this blog from a post I made in one of my groups.
I didn't do so well this week. Not only have I totally lost my motivation, but I seem to have lost most of my committment and determination as well. I have done absolutely horrible this week. Eating way over my limit and haven't exercised at all this past week. Every day I say, "Tomorrow is a new day. I will do better." And I don't. I will literally sit there and know I am already over my calories and not hungry, but still eat and just shrug my shoulders, like it really doesn't matter.
It's funny. Just a week or two ago, I was thinking about moving on to stage 3 of the spark diet and today, I moved myself back to stage 1. I need to start over again. Somewhere along the way, this past month or so, I have lost focus. It's time to start again with a new lease.
It hasn't been as cold lately at night, so I might start taking my son for walks again until it starts getting really cold again. I've started my new goal which is to be down to 243 by March 6th, my birthday. That will be 20% of my body weight from the time I started. But really, my goal is to be between 240-250. This time around, I know I shouldn't set a specific weight to reach because things come up and sometimes the scale doesn't always work out in our favor, so I am giving myself some room to play with.
Regardless of how I feel about my first goal not being met, which was to be down to 250 by christmas, I still did awesome. I am pretty much just saying this to myself, to put a positive turn on things. I reached our goal for one of my groups named Lose 25 Pounds by a Specific Date, which was to lose 25 lbs by christmas. Not only did I reach it, I exceeded it and that is great!
But what I can't feel that way? Why can't I be happy about that? I guess, just because I am losing weight and thought I have been changing my lifestyle, I really haven't. Isn't our mindframe and way of thinking suppose to change with our lifestyle? I've been at this for 4 months and my way of thinking hasn't changed in the least. Does that mean I haven't really made any progress? Yes, some weight came off, but am I treating this as just another fad diet? That even if I lost all the weight, I would still be a part of the 95% that gains the weight back in a year? How do I change that or how do I work on changing that? How do I change the odds to be in my favor? Anyone know the answer or are we all here, seeking that answer?
I'll end this with another positive which is that I lost 0.2 pounds this week. Not fantastic, but still great considering how horrible of a week I had. Now it's time to start all over! Here I go, once again....
Sunday, December 16, 2007
I just completed my 16th week and lost a total of 37 pounds. I lost 2 pounds this week. However, I was very very unhappy. I worked so hard this week. Did extra good and it didn't show up. I didn't reaslize how disappointed I was until, it appeared, subconsciously, I gave up. I quit tracking my food, for the most part, I haven't exercised in days and don't even think about exercising, I just overall, don't really care.
This is bad. I don't want to give up. 2 pounds is soooo very good. Why can't I get that through my thick skull? Why is that so hard to understand and accept, that that is a very good amount to lose and a very healthy amount to lose. Why do I want to lose the weight quickly even though at the same time I am afraid to? Maybe because I am aftaid I am going to give up. But here I am about to give up regardless. What is wrong with me?
Thursday, December 06, 2007
I got on the scale this morning and found that I had lost 1.6 pounds again this week. I am very happy that even though I am not exercising everyday and only eating "a normal amount" that I am still losing weight. Now I just got to get it in my head that even though I am not losing 3-4 pounds a week, I am still losing weight. I know it is important to live life now just as I would when I reach my goal, but I can't help thinking, "Well, I can eat and live like I am on a diet and lose weight quicker and then when I reach my goal, I can live and eat like a skinny person." Ha Ha. I know that can't happen. I know I need to do now what I will be doing to maintain my weight loss. I just wish I could be more happy about losing a big 1.6 pounds, as I am when I lose 3-4 pounds in a week.
Quite frankly, I do not want to spend every waking moment thinking about how many calories I am eating or burning. I don't want to spend every waking moment exercising, just to show a big weight loss at the end of the week. I really don't. What kind of life is that to live? This past week, I have eaten between 1200-1800 calories and exercised only 4 days and still lost weight. It wasn't a huge amount that we all want, but I still lost weight. That is the point. This week was easy. I didn't think I would show a weight loss because I didn't push myself to exercise more or make myself go to bed hungry because I only wanted to eat 1200 calories every day this week. I ate what I wanted, when I wanted and was comfortable with that. Happy with that. Yes, I did have to force myself to exercise, because we need exercise, fat or skinny, young or old. It's just a simple fact of life. No matter what, you gotta exercise, even if it is just a few days a week.
I think this past week was a very good example of the life I will be living once I reach my goal and begin to maintain my weight life and you know what, I was comfortable and happy with it. This week has showed me that even though it may take me longer to reach my end goal weight(which I stil don't quite know what that is), I can do it.
I know we all have the fear of reaching our goal weight and then wondering, "what do I do now?" This week showed me what I will be doing and showed me that I can do it. I believe, this past week, just in itself, has made the fear subside. I am grateful for that. Fear is the biggest motivator to quit and I no longer have that motivator nagging at me. That fear being gone has given me one more reacon to continue my weight loss journey.
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