Thursday, July 26, 2012
I am really struggling right now. I was supposed to get completely back on track this week, and I haven't. I do so good during the day with eating but then come home and pig out at dinner or on snacks. I haven't been to the gym in 3 weeks. Haven't gone running. I am losing it.
I don't want to lose it. I want to get back on track and stay on track. I want to continue losing weight. I don't know what is going on.
I think maybe I need to meditate. I read a lot of blogs and people always mention meditating, so I maybe I will try that. I am going to read blogs tonight and a few articles on motivation on here. I need to do something. I have only gained 7 lbs. If I don't get a hold of myself and get back on track, it's going to be more. I don't want that.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
I haven't tracked my food nor have I exercised in the past few weeks and I have gained 7.6 lbs but I have not given up. I did sabotage myself before my vacation because I knew I was going to totally blow it on my vacation. I still should have done well up until my vacation and gotten right back on track when I got back from vacation, but I didn't.
However, today is a new day and it is a new week for me. Today is my weigh in day so I weighed in. 240 lbs even. That is a gain of 7.6 lbs from my last weigh in. It is bad, but I am hoping part of it is still water weight from too much sodium yesterday. We shall see. Even if it's not, I still enjoyed myself on vacation and it was worth a 7.6 lb gain. Sometimes you need a break from reality. Hell, I am sure my body needed a break from weight loss for a little while. I know my mind did. I had been slacking for a while up until I actually quit a couple of weeks ago. I think I needed some time off.
But here is something I learned. While on vacation, I actually missed tracking my food. I missed watching what I ate. I missed the whole structure of it all. So I am back and ready to rumble.
I am setting up my Bodybugg as I type this email. It says to get back down to where I was, losing 2 lbs a week, I will be back at 232 by August 19th. In the grand scheme of things, that is not bad at all. I think I will make it sooner but we will see.
And on another note. I applied for a job at my current workplace for Business Analyst. I am currently a senior call center representative and I hate my job. I really hate my job. But that is not the only reason I applied for the position of Business Analyst. I applied because it's something I would be good at and would enjoy. Plus it will teach me a whole new set up skills to take on to other positions in future whether I stay with this company or not. I had the phone interview the day before I went on vacation. The hiring manager was also going on vacation the same day I did but coming back a few days after me. I came back on Thursday and I believe he is coming back on Monday. So I won't know if I get the panel interview until some time after he comes back. I really hope I do. My fingers are crossed.
The only down side to this job would be that it is a 8am-5pm , Monday through Friday position. I am not a morning person and it means I would be fighting traffic both ways. It also means I will have to go to the gym during peak hours which I really don't like. But I will make it work somehow.
So here is another beginning!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
We took a long weekend this past weekend and went on a cruise to Ensenada, Mexico. Let's just say, no I didn't track my food nor did I care what I ate or how much I ate. I am pretty sure I gained about 10-15 lbs but I haven't actually weighed in. Since my weigh in day is Sundays, I am waiting until this Sunday to weigh in. I did do a "let's just see what the number is" weigh in on Monday afternoon when we got back from the cruise and the number was not pretty. It was somewhere around 248 which would mean I gained like 16 lbs. We will see what my actual gain is on Sunday after I flush out all the excess sodium.
You know what is interesting? Before I went on the cruise, everyone told me how great the food was going to be on the cruise. It really wasn't great. Yes, you had access to all kinds of foods, even foods you may have never had before, but overall, the food was just average. Some was even disgusting like my first dinner on the cruise which was braised brisket. It tasted like meat and sauce, but it had the texture of jello. Seriously. It made me sick to my stomach. Then for dinner on the last night, I ordered the meat loaf and I swear it came out of a can. It was nasty. Thankfully I ordered it on the side of my actual dinner just to try it. Yuck!
I did try duck for the first time and it tasted like ham. So I will try duck again, however because it was the first night and my stomach was already a little irritated by the jello brisket and they presented the duck in a way that looked like sushi (my stomach can not tolerate sushi...eating it, seeing it, thinking about it, nothing) I could not eat it other then just trying one bite of it. Then I had to move the plate away from me. Out of sight, out of mind.
We did a lot of walking on the cruise. From one side of the ship to the other and then in Ensenada, we walked around shopping. I took the stairs a lot but not as much as I could have or should have. They have a gym on the ship but we never used it. Never even stepped inside. Actually didn't even find it until our last night on there,
So I am sure I gained weight. How much is to be determined on Sunday. But however much I gained, I am not worried. I can and will lose it again. I got back on track yesterday and for this week, I am just focusing on shrinking my stomach again and speeding up my metabolism. I destroyed my metabolism on the cruise and definitely stretched my stomach. So this week I am just focusing on proper portions when I get hungry and no so much about calories and nutrition. That will start on Sunday along with going to the gym regularly.
My 5 year old took this picture of me and my sister
My son and I on the cruise
Monday, July 02, 2012
I am going to wait until July 29th before I weigh in again but if I don't do considerably better for July then I did for June (which really wouldn't be too hard), I am going to have to go back to weekly weigh ins. I was going to weigh in on July 1st but the decided I knew I blew it for the month of June so I might as well go with my weight on June 26th which was my 1 year weight. So for the month of June, I lost 1.4 lbs in total. That blows.
But I choose to look at it positively. I didn't gain. I had a bad month in March too where I only lost like 2 lbs for the whole month and that was when I was even weighing myself weekly. So maybe it isn't the fact that I am weighing month that has caused me to go off course, but just me. In March, I learned something about myself: I learned that when I get close to a goal or a goal date, I flounder for some reason. While I can work on that, I can also accept that as I near a goal or a goal date, I may dwindle a bit. My goal was to be at 210 or at the very least 218.6 lbs by 06/26/12. I didn't make it. I knew a month ago I wasn't going to reach that but still couldn't get my butt back in gear. I just kept doing terribly.
Another reason I think I might dwindled a bit is because I am going on vacation next week. So I will be off work for a week and for part of that week, I will be on a cruise. I already know I do horrible on vacations and I am ok with that, but that doesn't mean I should stop weeks in advance. I think that is what I have been doing. I keep thinking, "Why work hard to lose weight when I am just going to gain it back in a couple of weeks?" No more thinking like that. For the next week and a half to two weeks, I am going to kick butt. If I gain some weight during my week long vacation, so be it. Besides, chances are it will be water weight as oppose to actual weight and since I won't be weighing in until the end of the month, I may not even see it.
So starting today, I am back to diligently tracking and choosing my foods and exercising. No more saying "Oh well."
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