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CCINDICANE2's Recent Blog Entries
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Tuesday, June 12, 2012
I did not weigh in today. I've been thinking about it lately and keep putting off switching to monthly weigh ins and decided, why put it off. Just start now. So I skipped weigh in.
I will weigh in the first or last Sunday of each month. For July, that happens to fall on the 1st but for example, in August, I will weigh in on the 29th of July and then not again until the 2nd of September. I want it as close to the 1st of each month but don't want the actual day to bounce around.
The reason I am switching to monthly weigh ins is because my weight loss has slowed so much, my mind is still expecting big numbers. So when I see a weight loss of 1 lb, my mind goes into a "that is not enough mode" when it really is. I am setting a goal of 5 lbs month but will be working towards a goal of 7 lbs loss each month. As long as I lose 5 lbs for the month, I will be happy.
I will still blog each week with my progress and how I am doing. But will only update my weight once a month. I am in this for the long haul. My goal is to get healthy, not get skinny...though hoping to get close to skinny along the way. I have to remind myself every day that this isn't just about losing weight. This is about getting comfortable in my own skin, becoming more active, just getting healthy all around. So June will be my first month doing just that.
In regards to the weigh in, I will be weighing myself on June 26th because that is my year anniversay being on SP and on this journey. I have my beginning weight from 06/26/11 so I want my weight for 06/26/12 as well to compare along with photos. Watch for that blog!


Thursday, June 07, 2012
So I went to the gym tonight. I got on the elliptical to wait for my trainer to come get me. About 3 minutes in, the power goes out. The elliptical is still working so I continue on. About 4 minutes later, they say they have to evacuate the gym. So I go home. No cardio, no person training.
I have been thinking for the past couple of nights about trying to jog. So since I couldn't get my workout in at the gym, I figured tonight would be a great time to try it. So I come home and ask my son if he wants to go for a walk with me. I walk, he rides his bike. One lap around my apartments is half a mile. I know I need to warm up to jogging so I don't even think about attempting to jog on the first lap. I actually walk the first two laps until my son decides he wants to go home and he is bored going around the apartments with me.
So he goes home and I start jogging. I did not time myself. I just told myself, "I am going to run to the end of such and such." And I did. Once I got there, I realized I was OK so I kept running. Once I my breathing became quite labored, I stopped running and walked. It took maybe 20 seconds for my breathing to even out. I realize, "HEY! I am in better shape then I thought I was." First, I ran further then I thought I could and after about 20 seconds of walking, I feel fine. I can run again. So I do. I keep doing this for 2 laps, which equals a mile. After the second lap, I decide to head back inside because I am thirsty. I don't carry my water with me because I don't want to carry anything.
I am excited to go back out. It is 11:30pm, I've already been back in for an hour now, but I want to go back out and try jogging some more. This might just become an addiction for me. I loved the feeling. I am anxious to try jogging some more. I don't think I am going to go out again tonight because it's late and I don't know how my body is going to respond to the little bit of jogging I did today. So a part of me is telling me to go take my shower and just wait and see how I feel tomorrow. I am curious to see if I have any pain. If I don't, I am going jogging tomorrow night too! Even after I go do 45 minutes at the gym.
I wonder how long this feeling will last?

Monday, June 04, 2012
I lost 1.6 lbs this week. Not too bad, but I was hoping for more sense I didn't lose any last week. Oh well. Still gotta keep truckin'. But I have to admit, I really didn't do great this week. I only went to the gym 2 days this week and I went over my goal of 1800 most of the week. Not too much over, but over still. So really, I am glad I lost any weight this week and all I can do is make this week better.

Sunday, May 27, 2012
When your body has plans of it's own?
I didn't lose any weight this week. I didn't gain either so that I good. But I actually did good this week and had a total calorie deficit of 8533 calories. I should have lost something. Hell, I would have even been happy with just a loss of 0.6 lbs to get me to my next reward weight. But nope. I am exactly the same this week as I was last week.
It's not going to stop me. I am still going to keep truckin'. I am just a bit annoyed.
Since this has kind of become a b*tch and moan blog a bit, I might as well go all the way with it.
So I have blogged about my switch in trainers. I loved my first trainer Cory. He was awesome. But he took a job in Texas so I had to switch to a new trainer Patrick. The first session was horrible. I ended up with an anxiety attack because I am so resistant to change. But as the sessions went on, I grew to accept the change and up until recently everything was good. I wasn't dreading the sessions as much and was even considering purchasing more after these were used up.
Then this week happened. At first, I thought maybe I was being hormonal since it was that time of the month but now that it is no longer that time of the month, I realize, I wasn't being hormonal.
So our sessions are at 9:30pm on Monday and Thursdays. The previous Thursday he asked if we could push it back to 10pm. I said yes because I prefer 10pm anyway because it allows me to get 30 minutes of cardio in before our session which means less cardio I have to do after our session. For some reason, it is so hard to do cardio after doing a bunch of strength training exercises. My body feels tired and lazy. So I prefer 10pm. But it was just for the one day. He specifically told me so. So on Monday, I am running a little late so I am hauling a$$ to get to the gym by 9:30pm. It's one thing if I am late and cutting into my cardio time but I don't want to be rude and cut into his time especially since I am his last client of the day and he usually has morning clients the following day. I try to be considerate.
So I haul a$$ to get to the gym by 9:30 and I literally walk into the gym right at 9:30. Usually I will get on the elliptical and wait for him to come get me but that is when I show up at 9:20ish. Since I was late, I went straight to looking for him. I couldn't see him so I ask the guy at the front desk where he is. He tells me my trainer is finishing up with someone so I get on the elliptical thinking they are running behind. Maybe his client ran late. So I get on the elliptical and don't bother to put my headset in because I only expect to be waiting a couple of minutes. Nope. He doesn't come get me until 10pm. He doesn't even say anything. So I ask, "Are we switching our time to 10pm now?" He said no and gave a bunch of excuses about his time and his clients and how everything is all messed up. I say, "Ok. Well I was running late so I was hauling a$$ to get here by 9:30." He just says "oh." Seriously? No freaking apology? Dude, not acceptable. He has my phone number. He could have texted me at any time during the day to tell me he was switching our time to 10pm so that way, I wouldn't be rushing. But apparently he doesn't think he should do that.
I try to shrug it off as a one time thing. I am willing to give people a chance. I mean, my first trainer Cory freaking straight up stood me up on our 4th sessions which pissed me off, but he apologized and I let it go. I thought maybe this was just a one time thing for this fool.
Anyway, at the end of our session on Monday, Patrick asks me to try to come in as close to 9pm as possible so we could get started as soon as I walk in so he can leave early because he has a morning client the next morning. I tell him I will try but because I don't get off work until 8pm and then have to go home and eat something real quick and get dressed, I couldn't promise to be here right at 9pm but will try. I am telling him this while thinking, "why the hell should I do you a favor when you can't even be considerate enough to text me and let me know you changed our meeting time? And don't even apologize for it?" Whatever.
So Monday comes and I haul a$$ again. I don't get there at 9pm because I got stuck at work but I walk in at 9:10pm expecting to get right to our sessions. He is sitting at the desk with his client he just finished with. I walk over to them. He doesn't acknowledge me. He is talking to her about non-workout related stuff. So I stand there and put my gloves on. I realize they aren't finished so I go into the room we workout in the wait for him, again thinking it's only going to be a few minutes. I can see him still sitting there looking as though he has no intention on moving. I get pissed. I start texting Cory asking if I can get a refund for my unused sessions and he says no, that their policy is once you sign up, you either use them or lose them. Which then of course makes me even more mad. He asks me what's going on and I tell him and we proceed to text for the 20 minutes I am sitting their waiting for my trainer who specifically asked me to come in as early as possible so we can get started.
At 10 pm, I see him go look for me. So I walk out of the room and let him see me and then walk back in. He comes in and doesn't say squat about anything. So after doing one round of exercises, I ask him, "Did you not see me come in?" He said he did. And I guess I gave him a look of confusion because he then said, "I was talking to my other client. Did I not make myself clear? We meet at 9:30pm." Now I am seriously trying to control myself. I am a very outspoken, bluntly honest person who really just speaks before she thinks. I am trying not to do that because we still have 8 sessions left and I don't want to make them awkward. So I say, "Yes, I know we meet at 9:30pm. But on Monday you asked me to come in at 9pm and that we would get started as soon as I come in. So I rushed to get here as close to 9pm as I could." He then said, "Well, I was talking to my other client." I just shut up. I am sure I had a look of utter disbelief on my face because he just stood there staring at me while I stood there trying to remain calm. I just said, "let's get back to work." Didn't speak of it again.
I mean, really. Again no freaking apology? Even when someone points out that they screwed up he can't even muster up a fake professional apology? I work customer service. I apologize all day long to customers for things that I didn't even do or have any control over and no, my apologies are not real. But at least I try. He can't do the same???
While I really don't want to break a new trainer in, I am seriously thinking about finding a new trainer to finish my last 8 sessions out with. At this point, with this guy, I am definitely not buying more sessions because I can't stand him and I really wanna smush him like a bug. The only thing I am worried about is maybe the other trainers won't work with my late time. I looked online and see that there are some new trainers and they actually have their times posted later so maybe they will. I am off work on Wednesday so I am thinking about going in and talking to the fitness manager about switching trainers. I just know my trainer will be there working with someone and I am afraid if he sees me and I am unable to switch, the rest of our sessions will be awkward. So maybe I will just call.
I don't know. But I am so fed up and about 2 weeks after these sessions run out, I have a vacation planned. We are going on a cruise and vacations and me don't usually go well together. As I have blogged about before, my mini vacation in Vegas in March totally threw me off track for the whole month and had it not been for my sessions with Cory, I would have never gotten back on the wagon. I was clawing my way through March. I am kind of expecting the same thing in July so I want my session to fall back on to make sure I keep at it even when I don't want to. So I don't know what I am going to do.
At the same time, training is expensive and I really can't afford to buy more sessions so I feel so lost.

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