Friday, September 30, 2011
I've been feeling really down lately so I have been working on trying to be happy. I am unhappy at work, I am unhappy with myself and unhappy with life in general.
I have low self-esteem. That is a given. If I didn't, I don't think I would be here. So I am trying to work on building my self-esteem. One thing I am doing is creating a list of affirmations. I want to write at least 5 affirmations about myself everyday. I came up with 14 today. It will be a work in progress. I want to use them as reminders so that if I am having a down day, I can read them.
Another thing I am going to try to work on in not thinking negatively about myself. Whether it be my looks, personality, or mistakes I make. Whatever. Nothing negative. If I do think something negative, I have to want to come up with 3 positive things about the thing I thought negative about.
This has all been brought about because my competition will be ending in 7 weeks and I feel like I will quit. I am working on trying to guarantee that i won't quit. I don't want to quit. So I need to find what will keep me going.
I figure if I build up my self-esteem in the process, I will be more motivated to keep going. Hence the daily blogs. Once I complete my list of motivators and get a decent amount of affirmations listed, I will post separately blogs for each.
I've been working on my outer self and I did so last time, but I now know that I need to work on my inner self too.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
I keep telling myself this. Eating right, counting calories, going to the gym for 30-45 minutes 3 times a week, and doing strength training 3 other days a week is not hard. So why do I have such a hard time of making it a habit???
I have been at this for 13-14 weeks now and nothing is a habit. I could go back to eating crap and not caring how much and just laying around and sitting around the house tomorrow...and there wouldn't be one single urge in me to track my food or get up and move. I have to be very conscious about everything I do to try to lose weight.
I know we all says it's so hard and it takes a lot of work, but it's not hard at all. We make it hard. It's not hard to say no. Maybe if I start believing this and it gets stuck in my head, maybe then I will actually stick with it. Maybe then it will become a habit.
I am trying so hard. I have only lasted this long because of my competition with my friends, but what about when that ends? I need to change my thinking. I need to realize it's really not that hard and that I can do it because I have been. Yes, I may have a few slip ups, but skinny people don't ALWAYS eat 1200 calories or burn as many calories as they consume in order to maintain their weight. They have days full of calories too. They have lazy days. So why is it that if I eat over 2000 calories in one day I am a failure? Why is it if I don't go to the gym, I am a failure?
I am not a failure. I am human. I will stumble, I will fall, but damn it, I will get back up.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
I don't think anyone really lives to eat, but I can see how it could appear that way. I know for me, I love to eat. It's not that food tastes freaking awesome, but I think it's more of the whole ritual of eating. Seeing the food, smelling the food, anticipating that first bite. Then slowly scooping the food up with the spoon and bringing it towards your mouth as your mouth salivates with expectation. Then you take the food in your mouth and the flavor touches your tongue and the excitement begins. It triggers an emotional reaction. You slowly pull the spoon out of your mouth, cleaning it with your lips. Now your mouth is full of flavor and you begin to chew. As you bite down, on whatever it is, more potent flavor squirts in your mouth covering every inch of your tongue...the front, the back, the sides. Then the moment you've been waiting for comes. Time to swallow. You slowly brush the flavorful food to the back of your throat where OH! the flavor covers the taste buds on the back of your tongue causing even more excitement to begin and slowly down your throat leaving a path of flavorful debris. After all this, you want more. So you take another bite and begin at the beginning. See, smell, anticipate, taste.
I can see how people become addicted to food. Our taste buds nearly get an erotic experience every. time. we. eat. Oh has sex just once and says "Eh, I don't like it." Even if you did, you'd try with someone else until you found the right person. Food is the same way. I am disgusted by green beans, but I love hot Cheetos with jalapeno cheese dip. Just the thought makes my taste buds quiver with excitement.
So how do we learn to eat to live and not to live to eat? Do we fight our cravings to the death? Do we tease our taste buds into submission by eating just a little? I don't know about you, but I think that would lead to a binge.
So what do we do? How do we conquer that feeling of desperate want?
Get An Email Alert Each Time CCINDICANE2 Posts