CBAILEYC   97,096
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Knowing doesn't make it easy..

Monday, November 22, 2010

I know. I know why I've been feeling as I have. It's like the perfect storm - everything converging at once to .. give me an excuse to be a weenie and make excuses and flounder. I was a smoker for 28 years. Now I'm not. Now I'm not even using the patch. Now, I'm dealing with becoming a person who does not depend on nicotine. It's not going very well, but I will not cave in.

I'm up several pounds. My eating was completely out of hand over the weekend. My movement was nil. I ache, physically and emotionally. I'm weathering this storm. Granted, not very well, but I'm holding on. I know this will pass. I know this isn't a permanent thing (what if it IS permanent and I end up always and forever feeling like this??). It is not permanent and having a smoke (just one? Maybe in the morning, yea? Just one and that's all.... until you're back to a pack a day) is not the solution.

I also now know that I don't want to go back to the way I was before SP. I revisited that person, that attitude, that out of control inhaling of food this weekend, and I don't ever want to go back to that again.

I have a 5K, my first, in 2 weeks - 13 days. I'm no where near finished with C25K. That's ok. I'll finish it eventually. I'll probably do it over again. Whatever. I can't quit now. I'll make it through this week, and the next, and the next, one step, one breath, one moment, one day at a time.

I'm not whining. I'm not looking for pity. I'm owning up to being a trainwreck the last three days, and forcing myself to get my act together. I don't even want to RAWR right now. I just want to breathe, maybe finally have a good cry, get it out of my system, and remember how good it feels to walk/run 3 miles.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NUTTYSNOOPYFAN 11/26/2010 6:00PM

    Ok, so I'm only getting to this blog today because of my own nuttiness, family sickness, and out of control eating/feelings this week. The whole out of control eating must be going around this week because yours is not the first blog of this nature I've read today during my time to catch up on SP. Candy, nobody can be fierce all day, every day. I know we sometimes feel like crud when we get on here, inspire others, achieve some measure of success, only to feel like s**t figuratively and literally when we hit a valley. That's part of the journey. I hope by now you've been able to dust yourself off and get back on track. If not, please let me know because I'm here for ya babe, and I will do whatever you need to help you. Need the firm boot up the arse? I can do that. Need gentle, kind, affirming words? I can do that. Need the super pumped up cheerleader pep talk? I can do that as well. You have permission to dole out any of those to me at any time as well, because I've been floundering for a whole week now. I think I'm getting back on track, but not completing my goals for my first team challenge makes me feel the way you're describing here, so I can relate. We love you, no matter what. As always, thanks for honestly sharing ALL parts of the journey, not just the "good" stuff. After all, we can learn through the struggles as well as the good stuff. Mwah! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GAYEMC 11/23/2010 6:13PM

    emoticon

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ROBBIEMARIE 11/23/2010 4:04PM

    Awwwww it is quite the battle sometimes. However, you are doing it and I am so very proud of you for sticking with what is so very good for you. You know you are doing the right thing and yes, you know these feelings won't last forever. Hang in there and keep blogging as it might just help LOTS AND LOTS.

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MRSBENNETT2 11/23/2010 2:43PM

    Hang in there....you are doing just fine! Doesn't seem like it when its messy and ugly and you are feeling like crap...but you are in the middle of the mix fighting the fight and doing your best and that's what matters! We're proud of you!

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ROSH64 11/23/2010 9:30AM

  You wrote about your feelings, that's huge. Awareness is so important. You're back in the saddle and that's the most important thing. Failure is not an option.

I just started the c25k program yesterday. If you want a accountability partner just let me know.

rosh
email sdoehla @ hotmail . com emoticon

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GRACEANAQAH 11/23/2010 2:10AM

    Don't beat yourself up for not having a perfect day. Just pick yourself up and continue emoticon and realize that things like this happen. You have done so well. Keep up the good work!

emoticon on your quitting smoking and that is awesome that you will be participating in your first 5K.

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DAS92687 11/22/2010 9:07PM

    Congrats on quitting smoking. I quit 2 1/2 years ago. It was the best thing I ever did. I feel so much healthier. Honestly, until I quit, I didn't realize how much energy and breath I was missing.

I did eat a lot at first. I gained weight. And it's all temporary. But you will feel sooo much better - and that's forever !!

Wishing you an amazing 5K emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ANNERBEES 11/22/2010 8:56PM

    First of all CONGRATS to you for taking that big step of quitting smoking! I am so thrilled for you that you made that decision so hang in there!!! You can do it!! And as far as the 5K, when I ran my first in Oct. I had not finished C25K, I was injured 2 weeks before and was getting sick when I ran it! What else could go wrong???? LOL But I did it!! I ran almost the whole first half and the second half I just alternated running and walking. The thing is I did it!! So whether you walk, run,wog or whatever....you can do it!! I will be cheering for you all the way!!!!!!!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ANNESYLVIA 11/22/2010 8:46PM

    You are in my prayers! You can do this! emoticon

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ADESSO1234 11/22/2010 8:06PM

  I think you have a great attitude girl!! We all have moments, days, weekends, or weeks where we are out of control with our eating. It happens. But you are doing exactly the right thing. Dusting yourself off, putting it behind you and moving forward. Honestly, in this journey, I've come to expect times like this to happen along the way. I think the goal is not perfection here. It's to do the best we can, and to understand that there will be times we drop the ball. And that's okay...it's called being human.
And as far as the running goes, you'll get there. I'm not rushing myself...I've got a lifetime to become a runner, it doesn't have to happen overnight, but it will happen. Once I took the pressure off myself, I found that I really enjoyed my runs so much more. HTHs
Julie:) emoticon

Comment edited on: 11/22/2010 8:07:30 PM

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KIMBANN 11/22/2010 8:03PM

    You caught your binge - good for you! This weekend was just that - a weekend. I have had so many weekends like that turn into years.

After some days of good eating you'll feel better. I promise you that! You're giving up some pretty addictive vices, and you should be proud of yourself for your success. One bad weekend does not make a bad person (maybe a little naughty...)

emoticon emoticon

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BIGBADMOMMABEAR 11/22/2010 7:57PM

    Hang in there! You're in the middle of the storm right now!

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WALKAWAY 11/22/2010 7:22PM

    Take a deep breath, have a good cry.

I know emoticon.
Even though you may not feel it right know ~ you are strong emoticon
You've got lots of support emoticon emoticon from you spark friends.
I'm thinking about you. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.

Addie

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ECOCHRISTIAN 11/22/2010 7:09PM

    emoticon on quitting smoking! That is such a big step in improving your health. Your food will taste better so eat slowly and savor it. You will feel much better once you get the eating back under control.
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HMILLY2020 11/22/2010 7:00PM

    Don't get yourself too down. Just like the previous person said, one day at a time.

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CSMARTIE 11/22/2010 6:57PM

    this is a big step - one day at a time :)

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Note to self...

Monday, November 15, 2010

Jillian + kettlebell = 30 minute awesome workout

30 minute kettlebell workout Sunday + deskjob on Monday = Ow

Ow + W5D2 = Owww

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I've got a silly grin on my face and achy muscles. I did my run, and I enjoyed my run. I'm going to have soup for dinner, then get a nice relaxing shower, and crawl into bed.

Sleep tight gang.
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C~

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GAYLEP67 11/20/2010 11:15AM

    Ow...but a GOOD ow at least! Hope you're feeling better and I'm sure it will get easier as you go. Way to go for rounding out your program!

G
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ANNESYLVIA 11/16/2010 5:16PM

    Great to hear you started the strength training. I know that was one of your goals! emoticon






Anne emoticon

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BIGBADMOMMABEAR 11/16/2010 12:56PM

    Soon that oww will be strong firm muscle!

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GAYEMC 11/16/2010 12:04PM

    How do you like the kettle balls? I've been looking at them.. I had soup and went to bed early last night also. It felt great! Have a great day today.

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NUTTYSNOOPYFAN 11/16/2010 9:30AM

    At least it's a good kind of sore... emoticon

emoticon Christine

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KASHMIR 11/15/2010 11:49PM

    Sounds like a Woo Hoo Day!!!

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BIGMAMAT 11/15/2010 10:45PM

    Great job beautiful! hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow!
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WALKAWAY 11/15/2010 10:09PM

    Hope the "ows" are better tomorrow. Get a good nights sleep.

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MRSBENNETT2 11/15/2010 9:25PM

    I like to feel I've done something, too. Makes you know you're alive!

Shelli

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Alright! That's just about Enough..

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Pity-party over. No really, it IS. I've moved on to p*ssed. I'm ticked to the extreme, and that's usually when things start happening. I know, right? Took me long enough.

Have I been eating the best I could the last week or two?
No. I've been dillydallying about, eating at the high end of my range, even over.

Have I been putting in the effort and time to be fit and combat the change in habits?
No. I've been active, but not as active as I could be. Hello, Strength Training anyone??

Have I made ANY adjustments at ALL for quitting smoking?
No. Pffft.

Then shut the *bleep* up and move on d*mnit!

I get a little cussy when I get ticked to the extreme.
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So yea, I'm up to 239.2 this morning. Whatever. It's a number. It's not the end-all, be-all. That sucker will change again tomorrow, and I'll deal with it. I was going to whine and moan s'more, but I checked SP to see how many calories whining burns and guess what? It doesn't!

Instead, I dressed up in layers, checked the hourly forecast for Portland, tied on my runners, and went to the golf course to run the trail. Yea, it's more of a slow jog walk thing, but I'm calling it running because it's MY version of running.

The trail is usually pretty busy, even on drizzly days like today, so while Bill drove us there (yes, he went with) I mentally went through all the things people might think about me when they saw me running.

"Whoa! Fatty, you better run."
You're right, I better, and I am. Stuff it.

"Good for you for trying."
Yep, I'm trying, and I'm succeeding.
(One lady ran by me, going the other way, and gave me this big smile, and I grinned back at her. I swear she was saying "you GO girl!" and it felt good)

"Dude! Look at the junk in her trunk. It's more like an overstuffed full-sized pickup bed."
Blow it out your ear, buster.

"What's that on her head?"
It's my toboggan and it makes me happy, d*mnit, leave me alone!

I've had it with the little voice in my head that's trying to defeat me or talk me into returning to slug-like life. I've decided to consider that voice as the voice of Fat. We had a slight disagreement this morning.

"You look ridiculous."
Me? I look ridiculous? Really?

And what, you look super-fly, jiggling around on my *ss and my gut? Step off jack, you're through here.

Told you I've been feeling like Sybil lately.
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I haven't been on the trail in.. must be a month now. I've missed it. You can go clockwise or counter-clockwise. We usually go counter-clockwise, to avoid starting out up the big long hill. This morning, I wanted that big long hill.

I NEEDED that big long hill.

Just like losing weight, taking a while to actually SEE the results of my efforts, I needed to FEEL the results of quitting smoking Nov. 1. I felt it this morning.

I FELT IT THIS MORNING YEA!!!

I motored up that hill like nobody's business. Yea, I was winded when I got to the top, but I didn't feel like I was going to fall over and pass out. I felt GOOD. It was worth it!

I did my run. C25K W5D1. I ran the first 5 min. run completely. After that, I probably made it through 3-4 mins. of each 5 min. run, but kept on going, kept on trying. So what if I didn't run every step of every interval. I ran. I ran my best. I kept making deals with myself - run to that tree. Oh, the tree's almost here, you can make it to the bushes now. Get to the top of the hill and you can walk. Ok, enough walking, run now. RUN!

I did. And when I was done, I'd covered 2 miles in 32 minutes, and met up with Bill. He had walked and run at his own pace, doing his own thing. We decided to walk at least one more mile together, and we played around as we did. I mean, he'd take off running, and I'd wait a few heartbeats, then take off after him. He's quick for an old dude! (Don't tell him I said that) We played catch-up back and forth for the last mile, talking and laughing, and it felt like I was healed from whatever mopey whiney affliction had taken hold of me.

Yea, I still weigh 239.2 lbs. Probably. Maybe more. Most likely. Whatever. I didn't weigh myself when I got home. I care, but I don't. I don't deserve to whine anymore. Heck, even if I'm doing every single thing possible in the world to lose weight and I don't lose another ounce, I don't deserve to whine.

I love and appreciate your support, every single one of you. Someone needed to kick my *ss, though, and get me fired up. Call it tough love. Call it a reality check. Call it whatever. Who knew I could lift my foot that high, backwards, to kick my own caboose?

My weight does not define me. I am so many more things than my weight. It'll be nice IF/when I start losing again, but even if I don't, I'm winning at life.

So take that, Fat, and get bent.
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C~

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NUTTYSNOOPYFAN 11/15/2010 9:03PM

    Woman, any time you are down on yourself and thinking of retreating to the slug lifestyle, you let me know, because I'm gonna tell you to put that toboggan on and run your a$$ off 'cause I'm coming after you with the boot for your booty!!!

You crack me up, you think like me, and you understand me, and that's what I love about you so much. You sure we weren't separated at birth or something??? You're kinda the west coast version of me (though I wasn't a runner even when the ankle was good).

As for not telling Bill about the old guy comment...he's got an account on here now, ya know? emoticon

And if anyone wants to give you s**t about how you look in that toboggan, you tell them to come talk to me. That thing needs it's own fan club! emoticon

Much love to my west coast sista! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GAYEMC 11/15/2010 5:52PM

    You crack me up Candy. It's nice to see some laughter to go with those life struggles. And you look so cute! Love the hat!

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WALKAWAY 11/14/2010 4:04PM

    LOL, I thought I was the only one who felt a bit like Sybil. emoticonblog and glad to know that your fighting back. I recently went through a similar "funk" awhile back and it was only me that could pull myself up.

Sometimes we just have to give ourselves a swift kick in the butt to get moving forward again. We have to keep going even when we get knocked down.

Keep working on quitting smoking. Since September I've lost two really close friends from COPD & emphysema. My friend Bill was only 65 years young when he died last week. He was diagnosed in September with COPD and on oxygen 24/7. So if you need support to keep you from reaching for that smoke just let me know. I'll do whatever I can.



emoticon

Addie

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ANNESYLVIA 11/14/2010 1:49PM

    It is great to see you already got back on track!

Oh., about the scale emoticonone of my spark buddies READNKNIT(Suzanne)see me this very insightful article on weigh yourself.

It is by Monica Nelson Fitness "Don't Be A Slave To The Scale!" I actually printed it out as well as send it to my husband and several of my non-spark buddies. I think it will help if and when you have the chance to look it up and read it. Good Luck! emoticon

monicanelsonfitness.com/fitness/dont-be-a-slave-to-the-scale/


Anne emoticon

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ANNERBEES 11/14/2010 12:51PM

    I felt just like that when I did my first 5K a few weeks ago! I felt like everyone was looking at me and thinking....Seriously??? And then I had to walk some and felt totally defeated! But the fact is, I FINISHED and I DID IT!! I love the other answers about how the other runners are just excited to see someone else doing it!! And cheering us on too!! I love your attitude and the fact that you just get out there and do it no matter what!! Forget that silly scale....You are doing it! You are on the road to a healthy new you!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

emoticon emoticon

You look so cute in the pic!! I want one of those hats!!! emoticon

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KEAKMAN 11/14/2010 11:25AM

    I'm with Robin - runners look at other runners, regardless of how fast, slow, big, little, or whatever, and say "YOU GO GIRL!" We love seeing someone else run. We love seeing them try. We love seeing them tackle those hills. If you see someone slower and heavier than you out there trying I bet all you want to do is cheer them on, right? Well, that's how we ALL are! I love it when a fast, sleek, runner glides by and tells me some lovely thing - GOOD JOB, NICE FORM, WAY TO GO. And I do the same for every runner I see - fast or slow.

So HOORAY for you for getting out there and running! And keep on running your way!

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BIGBADMOMMABEAR 11/14/2010 11:21AM

    Very good blog! Love your running outfit!

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KASHMIR 11/14/2010 11:12AM

    love it!!! And all those other runners out there? They were saying things like:
Way to Go, Lady!
Woo Hoo, another one joins the party!
Keep it up, your doing it!
yay! New runner ahead.
You can do it!
Way to go, Runner!

There wasn't a single negative thought out there on the golf course about you...except those that might have popped into your own head. Us runner's gotta stick together, cuz sooner or later, no one else will be able to keep up! tee hee...

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ROBBIEMARIE 11/14/2010 11:03AM

    Well, well, well, Sybil! You did it to me! You had me laughing, smiling, caring, feeling the angst, feeling the huff and the puff up the hill, feeling the air getting to my lungs so much better, feeling the pride, the joy, the devil get thee behind me attitude. Love the kicking the whining to the curb! You go, go, go girl! Darn you Sybil, now I feel like I need to go run! emoticon

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KIMBANN 11/13/2010 4:15PM

    I laughed out loud at this while cheering your sassy self on - you go girl!!!!


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BIGMAMAT 11/13/2010 2:57PM

    Oh candy! You are so refreshing to me with your honesty and your ability to share how you are REALLY feeling.

I have also been in a bit of a rut lately. Only half a$$ing everything in my life. Exercise, my eating, ect...

What do you say we make a pact to make better choices together!

P.s. Way to put that little voice in your head in its place! You crack me up!

P.s.s. I am proud of you for running!

P.s.s.s. You are adorable!!!!!

emoticon

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MRSBENNETT2 11/13/2010 2:46PM

    Is it Glendeveer you go to? I've only been once, but loved it.
I need a dose of your pity party prescription. emoticon
You are doing fabulous! I'm so proud of you for not backsliding and taking the easy route!

Shelli

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HIPPIE44 11/13/2010 2:32PM

    "I was going to whine and moan s'more, but I checked SP to see how many calories whining burns and guess what? It doesn't!" --very, very well put.

I needed to hear someone else's reality check besides my own today. I cut back on calories to compensate for not exercising all week and even though in theory the weight should have come off it didn't. The real key is that both have to happen.

I'm getting my shoes on and doing something right now before the daylight is gone! Thank you!



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Thanks, I needed that!..

Friday, November 12, 2010

Sometimes, life.. fate.. karma.. whatever you want to call it, or believe in.. puts something in your path that you need.

I was a grumbling recipient of just such a gift today.

I love getting my SP emails. Be they notices that a new post has been made on one of my teams, or SP emails with articles, recipes, exercise tips, etc. I look forward to them each morning. Heck, I spend the majority of my mornings pouring over the emails, the posts, the articles, the tips. It helps keep me grounded, focused, motivated, groovin' on the Spark-high. And yes, this is all going on while at work, slinging tickets and requests as they come in, so sometimes, my reading pleasure has to take a back seat LOL Ahem.

Anyway, one of the emails this morning dropped a gem in my lap.

Do You Suffer from Diet Rage?
Rules of the Road to Help You Reach Your Destination
www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivat
ion_articles.asp?id=346


Hello??!?! That's me lately. I read that article originally on May 20. I received my Spark points for reading it then. I probably didn't need that article then nearly as much as I needed it today.

I'm struggling. Y'know how they talk about the weather in some places? If you don't like the weather, wait a few minutes, it'll change. That's me, with my moods this week. I'm feeling like Sybil, frankly, and it's getting tiresome not only for me, but for those good folks who surround me. Workmakes, family and friends. And y'all, too, I suspect.

I'm trying to RAWWR! I am. I was. I did! Monday was a great day (yes, it happened to be a vaca day away from work LOL) but Tuesday rather brought me back down to earth, and I've been slogging along since then. I'll survive, and won't do any lasting emotional damage to myself or others.

It has felt as though I'm in a traffic jam of weight loss. Yesterday, the scale was kind and showed me that the recent small gains had been.. what? A cruel joke played by the scale? My body playing "gotcha!"? I'd lost 1 1/2 lbs. Awesome.

This morning, I'm up 3 lbs. LOL Oy!

I know. I shouldn't weigh daily. So many things can make the scale fluctuate. Water retention due to Auntie Flo, high sodium intake, the backfield being slow doing what it's supposed to do, on and on.

You're big kids, you can read the article for yourselves. I know this. I'm posting the pearls of wisdom I need today, here, for me.


~*~ Pay less attention to how much further you have to travel. Stop asking yourself "are we there yet?" Youíll get there when you get there. Instead, look at the scenery, think about life, carry on a conversation, sing along with the radio, or simply be thankful for how far youíve come.

~*~ The journey is always more fun with a passenger. Have you asked anyone along for the ride?

~*~ You know the route you need to take to reach your weight loss goals. Itís already mapped out. As long as you stay pointed in the right direction, youíll get there. Even in the worst traffic jams, you still get to your destination at some point. Itís the same way with dieting Ė just a matter of time. It may take longer than you first expected, but you will get there.

~*~ There will always be periods of stopping and starting. Itís something that you should just anticipate and allow for. No use getting upset or stressed about not making progress. Itís a normal part of the journey.

~*~ Sometimes, youíve just gotta go with the flow of whatís going on around you. Life can present some situations that you really canít do anything about. When that happens, staying straight and steady Ė doing the best that you can Ė will keep you on track and sane. In traffic, impatient people stop, change lanes, weave in and out of other cars, driving themselves and everyone else crazy Ė and in the end, usually donít get any farther along than you do by staying put and going with the flow.

~*~ Shortcuts never work.

~*~ Driving too fast is dangerous. Thatís why they call it "crash" dieting. Slow down, take what life gives you, and make sure you arrive at your destination in good health.


Thank you, Mike Kramer. Thank you, SparkPeople. Thanks for the reminder.
I'm taking a breath, prying my hands off this proverbial steering wheel, and regrouping.

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C~

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANNESYLVIA 11/14/2010 2:04PM

    I read the same article twice myself once when I first started and again recently. I admit I liked it even more this time. Last time I laughed about it (thinking this is what I got to look forward too!) and more thinking on the advice that I needed and how to apply it.

I usually do 3 cardio workout and 6 strengthen workouts. I do eventually want to do at least 4 cardio. I want this in case of that one or even two week(s) I have to miss one. So, this way I still end up with at least 3 cario workouts. Well, I put in 5 cardio days this past week something I really wanted to do for a while now (since 2 weeks before Halloween) for an extra boost for the holidays...Halloween, Thanksgiving Christmas & New Years Even (actually my B-day is in January too). But it was not until this past week that my talk became a reality and it was all because of article like the one we both read on "Diet Rage".

My end result...I broke my plateau and lost a pound.


Anne emoticon

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ROBBIEMARIE 11/14/2010 10:55AM

    So glad you posted this. I've been busy and missing some posts lately so I missed this one in my email. I also probably read it and received the points ages ago but needed to be reminded of these 'simple' thoughts and to refocus. I especially need to remember that there will be stopping and starting and that it doesn't happen overnight!

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AMYSNEWSPARK 11/13/2010 9:17AM

    I experienced the same thing when I read this yesterday. I, too, received points for reading it in May but it didn't have the same impact then that it did yesterday. I have quit more times than I can count because I got frustrated with how slow things were moving or life commitments kept getting in my way and I had to detour around them. I saved the article to my favorites so when I start feeling that way, I can read it again to remind myself that traffic jams and detours are part of life and I can't quit every time I experience one.

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WALKAWAY 11/12/2010 7:14PM

    Hope your Friday has turned into an AWESOME DAY. Somedays all you can do is take it one hour at a time ~ breathe, and then move on to the next. No matter how badly you want to throw your hands up and run screaming from the building.

Wishing you a great weekend.

Addie emoticon

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BIGBADMOMMABEAR 11/12/2010 6:08PM

    That is a good reminder!

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HIPPIE44 11/12/2010 4:53PM

    put the scale away :)

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KIMBANN 11/12/2010 4:30PM

    I do the same scale war - I have made it an award to myself that only comes on Friday. It was literally driving me crazy, and I have no idea why my mind is tricked by it now being a "reward" for not looking at it all week, but it seems to be working.

Thank you for sharing the article!

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MRSBENNETT2 11/12/2010 3:57PM

    I think if we can get into the mindset that it's about the journey and not the destination, we can make real and lasting changes that will benefit ourselves and those we love. Get there quick, might all come back quick. Get there slow and steady, better chance of staying there. I'm subscribing to this theory - it's hard when I want the instant gratification, but someone is trying to get it through my thick head by any means that it needs to be slow to last...sigh. I feel your pain!

Shelli

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Mutiny of the Bootay..

Saturday, November 06, 2010

I'm pretty sure a conversation took place recently, and it went something like this...

[Battalion Cmd. Lt. Col. Brain]
Alright troops, we need to kick our efforts into high gear and secure the loss of further weight in Operation SlimDown. Pass the word and make it happen.

[Capt. Metabolism]
Are you on crack? She quit smoking, and I'm slowing down. There's only so much I can do.

[1st Sgt. Willpower]
Bullcrap. Quit yer whining, Sir, and get with the program.

[Capt. Metabolism]
What was that 1st Sgt?

[1st Sgt. Willpower]
Nothing, Sir.

You get the gist. The Brain may really be in charge, but the Metabolism stands between it and Willpower on making things happen.

I gained a little this week. Nothing major, and I'm not completely off the rails (oh yea, then why am I posting this??) but I am antsy about it.

I've read all the material out there - the average smoker who quits smoking may (usually?) gain between 5-10 lbs. Smoking increases your heartbeat, which increases your metabolism. Not by leaps and bounds of course, but it does have its effect. Also, smoking (for me) always took place outside - whether on breaks at work (I'd walk down 3 flights of stairs to get to the smoking area, then back up 3 flights, 2-3 times a day) or at home (this meant pacing around, usually, just passing time).

I'm active though. More active than I've ever been in my life. I'm hoping this will offset the drop in heartrate and missed opportunities to move even a little. I try to get in a couple of breaks at work, outside, but I'm finding without craving that smoke on break, I'm breezing right by breaktime. Maybe I need to set a reminder in Outlook to get up and MOVE!

I told Bill that if I started gaining significantly, I'd pick up the smokes again to stop it. He gave me The Look, and well.. I changed it to a maybe. I know in the long run I'm doing something very very good, so I won't cave over a few pounds.

There, I put it in writing. That'll make it harder to renege.
Maybe.
emoticon
C~

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRANLAADEE1 11/10/2010 12:45PM

    Congrats on quitting smoking! I should have my husban come comment for you. He'd gladly gain a few pounds to not feel as crappy as he did while smoking! Your body will thank you. :)

Definately set your outlook to remind you to take breaks!

Congrats and good luck!

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MRSBENNETT2 11/9/2010 9:59PM

    Nah...you don't wanna start smoking again if you gain a few pounds! You've done so well and are so far already on your journey to good health, it would be such a shame to go backwards. You can do it! Maybe you could take the money you would've spent on cigarettes and put it towards something fitness-oriented that would help you with the minor weight gain you might experience...like a few sessions with a good personal trainer?

Shelli

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BIGMAMAT 11/8/2010 8:53PM

    Candy, I quit smoking 8 years ago and I do miss it occasionally but I am here to say that it can be done! You can do it. I believe in you!!!! When I quit I remember I went on a cleaning spree and cleaned everything. I mean everyting. staying busy helped me. I also replaced the time I smoked with a new activity. Like instead of smoking on my lunch, I sat in the room and talked to someone different instead of going outside. Things like that. You can do it!!!xoxoxo Tricia
P.s.s.s. The dialog cracked me up competely! gave me a much needed laugh. hahaha

Comment edited on: 11/8/2010 8:55:07 PM

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GAYEMC 11/7/2010 8:01PM

    OMG Candy, don't ever think that smoking is better than weight gain. Been there, done that. Not fun! Just up your exercise a bit and change it out. You'll be fine and so much more happier in the long run.

Love your mind conversation!

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HEALTH4LYFE 11/7/2010 7:42PM

    Congrats to you for setting a goal to quit smoking and to lose weight~ all for a healthier YOU! emoticon

Transforming your life and changing habits you have had for a while can be a daunting task. I recommend baby steps. Instead of taking that "smoke break" take a mediation break, or do some stretches or I believe there is even a spark video on exercising at your desk by Coach Nicole. Sugar free chewing gum is another way to keep your mouth occupied. I use two different flavors to liven things up. And of course there is always brushing your teeth for that fresh mint feeling is another way to postpone eating or reducing potentially bad food choices. Best of luck to you as you take it one day at a time.

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GAYLEP67 11/7/2010 11:23AM

    I like Anne's suggestion of sugarless gum break time. How about setting an Outlook reminder to take your bottle of water for a walk? Take it down and back up the stairs and then drink it! You'll get some movement in and your water too (not that you're lacking in it!).

You can do it Candy...if anyone can, YOU can!

G
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NUTTYSNOOPYFAN 11/6/2010 7:16PM

    I think setting the reminder to get up and move is a good one. And give your body time to adjust. How long have you been off the smokes? It takes time. Do you have a smart phone to access SP while you take those breaks? We can shore you up while you are at work and remind you to not go back there. Trading a few lbs. For the nasty health effects is not worth it, and you know it. Girl, that's the fear talking. Remember, you gotta RAWR! No moving backward here . We 'll figure this out together. Hugs! C

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ANNERBEES 11/6/2010 6:25PM

    This was too funny!! I am so proud of you making such an effort at two VERY hard things at once!! Losing weight and quitting smoking at the same time is no easy feat!! I have to say after watching my dad die less than a year ago of lung cancer I REALLY hope you stick to your goal. This big strong man was reduced to skin on bones and crying non stop of the pain. It will be in my head forever! I know you have heard these things a million times so I won't go on but I will certainly be cheering you on!!! I wish you the best on BOTH of your challenges with the scales and the smokes!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BIGBADMOMMABEAR 11/6/2010 4:26PM

    Hang in there! And work in short exercise stints. I've heard that helps with the cravings!
PS - I had the back fill problem this week! I think it's cleared through now tho!

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ROBBIEMARIE 11/6/2010 3:12PM

    First - Love the conversation with your 'others'. Second - Under no circumstances whatsoever are you to pick up another cancer laden tobacco stick. (Want me to tell you how I really feel?) Seriously, you know you are doing the right thing and your body is so happy for it. It will be a period of adjustment but you can do it. If it takes setting reminders to get up and move - DO IT! Set a challenge at work to climb so many steps each day and increase the amount each week. Make your body crave it as much as it once did the cigs. emoticon

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ANNESYLVIA 11/6/2010 2:16PM

    So, how about changing your smoke break time to sugarless gum break time? This way you walk the 3 flights up and down. Then pace while you chew.

I pace when I talk on the phone and lately all my phone buddies, like mom and mom-in-law...one with dementia and the other is recovering from being hospitalized since June, two old friends one is needed my her ill father and the other is trying to move back to NY and get a job, and then there is my two friend I have here in Mahopac NY, one is a full time teacher and the other is the one with the recovering son I blog about, have gone astray for important and understandable reasons. And the rest of my friends I either text or e-mail mostly. So, I don't pace as much. It is funny you should mention that you stop one bad habit and lost another because of it. Because I thought about how by me talking less on the phone keeps me in my chair or couch more often. Who knew? Maybe I will start talking to the telemarketers!! LOL emoticonWith my luck they will also stop calling!!!!!

Good Luck! emoticon

Anne emoticon

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JRBASKIND 11/6/2010 1:13PM

    A good way to raise your metabolism? Lift weights! It will streamline you and get your motor running! Just start small and build gradually.And remember, weight lifting will also help you keep your bones good and strong.

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