CBAILEYC   99,376
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I must confess....

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

I am the scale's b*tch.
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No, it's true. I am. It's an evil entity that wields an incredible amount of power in my life. Sigh.

Having said that, the all-mighty scale was kind this morning.

224.0
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Well lookit me, eh?!

I figure, if I have to record honestly what the scale says on Sunday (228.4, wth, right??) then I must record what is says today, the start of a new month. So I did. Let's see if deciding to do so bites me in the buttocks come this Sunday, shall we?

Let's run the numbers..
What.........TODAY.......01/01
Weight........224.0.........229
Waist...........38.5..........38.5
Hips...........41.5.........41.5
Thigh..........25..............25
Upper Arm....13..............13

No real discernible difference, right? Except, I feel better. I've eaten better. I've slept better. I've moved better. The scale, lord-high device that it is, is the only calculable, quantifiable proof that the work I put in this month has paid off.

It is more than my desired 2.5 lbs release for the month, but I'll take it and run with it like I stole it!
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Greek yogurt. I've found that I do like it after all. I didn't, before. I think that's because I had plain non-fat off-brand greek yogurt. There's nothing wrong with off-brand, I'm all about it when I can find a good product that is. Now though, I feel spoiled by indulging in Chobani brand. I've had the pineapple kind again today, with a 1/2 cup of Quaker granola stuff. It was rich and creamy and crunchy and just right, and FILLING! I'm still quite full, so I appreciate that it's sticking with me this long.

On the same line of thought of food.. I've added in 3 ounces of chicken breast to my eating each day. Odd, right? I know. I dithered myself into a tizzy wondering if I wasn't getting enough protein and maybe that's why my body was hanging on to the lbs. So I added the 3 oz. starting Monday. Did it contribute to my jump in lbs released? Maybe.. we'll see.

I'm contemplating yet another experiment to see how I feel, how my body reacts. One week, I may do away with all dairy to see what happens. Another week, I may eliminate all grains to see what happens then. I'll do these experiments separately just so I get clear results, if any. I felt good and clean and LIGHT when I did the reboot, and there were no dairy or grains during that time. Maybe I need to re-examine those choices again and see what I can do better. I'm already following a mostly vegetarian menu plan thanks to Spark's menus, and then yes, adding in my chicken each day. Why not tinker around a bit more?
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I had a good run with the Galloway tribe last Saturday. I was the only 'newbie' in the 30-30 group, and that's ok. I missed some of my old compatriots, but they'll be back around soon I figure. They're gearing up to run the Heartbreaker Half on Feb. 19. I'll be doing a 10K that day, so I'll be there to cheer on my new teammates. I felt good, being able to stick with these runners who have been training for months, considering I only really started putting in any effort this last month.

I'm doing my twice-a-week maintenance runs on Tuesday and Thursday at a :45/:45 interval. I was doing 1/1 intervals, but opted to ease up just a bit. Yes, I wanted to run solid 1/1 intervals this year, and I may still yet. We'll see. Either way, I already feel as if I'm a better runner than I was starting out last year. I like this progress.

I've set my first half of the year running schedule so far. The races are listed on my front page. I'll add my times as I complete each one. I'll be volunteering for two runs this year - the Shamrock Run and the Cinco De Mayo run. I feel good about giving back to the running community here in Portland, so I'm just as excited as volunteering as I am about racing!

Last night, I did my last run of the month. I logged the following for January:
14 runs (missed 4 scheduled runs)
560 minutes, 9.3 hours of running
40.3 miles

Not bad.
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My mileage will increase now that I'm training. That's one third of my fitness minutes this month. Nice! The rest is walking and ST, so I'm pleased, very much so.

Also last night, I did intervals within my intervals.
What?
Yea, I know, sounds nutty, but bear with me.
I ran :45/:45 for the first .25 mile.
Then I ran the full .25 mile.
Then I ran :45/:45 for the next .25
Etc. and so on, until I'd run 3.1 in 43. No great land speed-record, but I'm pleased to get that .25 without walking under my belt. I plan on increasing that as time goes on. Go me!
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I'm going with the SparkPortland team to volunteer at the Oregon Food Bank again on Saturday, Feb. 4. It should be a good time. We have one repeat volunteer, and three new people. I'm looking forward to bonding with teammates and helping others all at once! I'll see if we can remember to snap pictures this time.

So.. there you go m'dearies! February is apparently starting off with a torrent of words and intended good deeds. Let's see what we can do to make it happen and make it count!
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C~

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPEEDYDOG 2/4/2012 11:51AM

    I love this blog. Now I need to get moving and sign up for some races. You are working very hard. How is it running with a group? I am a lone runner and will sometimes run with someone else. Is there a benefit running with a group?

Thanks, Bruce

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GAYEMC 2/2/2012 4:39PM

    I think you had a great January! Looking forward to seeing you this Saturday and meeting others!

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HEALING_LORI 2/2/2012 8:44AM

    I love greek yogurt in my smoothies with soy milk, strawberries and bananas! Yummmm! I am so glad you are back at it..... so am I :) 9.3 hours of running - Not bad??? That's freakin' amazing! You amaze me all the time with your thinking, running, encouragement, involvement,...
I am doing the 17 day diet thing now, which means cutting out all bread, pasta, starchy foods, sugar, etc.... I already noticed my tummy getting used to all the fruits and veggies. We'll see where the next 17 days takes me.
Enjoy your volunteering and forget that hunk of calculating junk (scale).

You ma' dear are on the right path.... whaaahooo!
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Comment edited on: 2/2/2012 8:47:05 AM

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LMLOPEZ 2/2/2012 8:05AM

    Sounds more like exercise is your b*tch!! So glad you're seeing progress. And I sm with you on the yogurt/granola train; I have converted to the "Greek" side...
How are you getting your protein? Sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't just do better eliminating my downfall-carbs-and replace it with my favorite-meat. Think I may lose more that way. Hmmm...
Thought of you when I went for my run in the nice weather the other day. Thanks for being there in spirit and good luck in your new Galloway group!


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CJANNESS 2/1/2012 10:46PM

  I love greek yogurt, I love the vanilla or honey flavor,and they add a special touch if your in the mood for a smoothie :) Im so excited for Saturday, see ya then! :)

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IMIN2GENES 2/1/2012 9:19PM

    Yep... I'm the scales b*tch too. Oh how I wish I wasn't!

I love the Chobani yogurt. I eat a lot of them - lemon and apple cinnamon being my favorites. I tried Love Grown granola which is all natural in the chocolate stirred into the honey Chobani. Yum! Not too sweet; but sweet enough and filling for a snack.

Have fun with the Portland gang!

Way to go with the running too! An awesome start to February!
Chris
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BOBBYD31 2/1/2012 8:47PM

    i hate the scale, it is just a number. i feel better and that is what matters most

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NUTTYSNOOPYFAN 2/1/2012 7:20PM

    I'm reading this during a conference break, and I'm glad to see that the scale was kind to you and showed your efforts! Glad to see you signed up for races and getting your run and your volunteerism on! You go girl! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HOLLYL7 2/1/2012 6:44PM

    I think the scale is YOUR bitch! Reading your blog always inspires me - keep up the great work =)

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PARASELENIC 2/1/2012 5:40PM

    I love chobani! My favorite kinds are the pineapple, lemon, and pomegranate, but I eat primarily the peach/strawberry/blueberry because they have a case of 12 for under 10 bucks at costco. (I'm totally going to have to try ZZZ's recipe tho-- it sounds delicious!

If I can make a recommendation: If you're going to experiment with elimination (removing all dairy, all wheat, etc.) I would recommend removing it for about a month and then when you re-introduce, re-introduce it TO THE MAX-- if it's dairy: eat cheese, cottage cheese, yogurt, ice cream, sour cream, milk-- all of it. You won't know how your body really reacts unless you remove all of it for a long time (more than a week-- some things stay in the body a while) and then supersaturate-- what that will do is force the reaction to the forefront.

for me, I did a one month fast, and discovered that corn makes my face go all hot and makes me sweat. Wheat gives me horrible stomach cramps.

With that being said, I still eat wheat, but if I notice my belly feeling especially weird at regular intervals, I can think about my wheat intake and usually relate it to that...

Edited for a your to you're grammar flaw. Those drive me nuts.

Comment edited on: 2/1/2012 5:44:07 PM

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SUSUSUZZZIE 2/1/2012 5:13PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
You can run with it like you stole it but no looking back! And keep on stealing and running to your next mini-celebration on the 29th!

I need to try that pineapple Chobani. I love the lemon. And my latest treat for very special times when I have more than enough cals left is plain non-fat Chobani with some hot cocoa mix...whipped until it finally melts (it takes a few mins to get it there). It is so freaking rich and yummy that I feel like I'm eating something deliciously bad. But I still save it for very special occasions. Let me know if you try it. Make sure you get a good cocoa mix that you are ok with the ingredients..fat or non-fat; sugar or substitute, etc. Pure rich guiltless heaven!

I can't wait to hear about your experiments.

I am curious how do you get your protein and how much do you get if you haven't been eating meat...soy or protein powders? My latest experiment is upping my protein to lower my carbs just a bit but I'm trying to avoid soy and protein powder. I think I have a great mix today but I'm still trying to figure it out for most days.

I love hearing about your intervals. I'm still fighting with my knees but I love hearing what you and others doing. It keeps me dreaming.

Wishing you a terrific February!
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PIXIEMOM13 2/1/2012 5:09PM

    I had to LOL at the comment that you are the scale's b*word. ;) I am too.. it has waaaay too much power over me.

I think its great you are volunteering at races too! So am I, this Sunday to a 5K my running club puts on... it filled up before I could register to run, so I decided to volunteer!

and Chobani yogurt -- mmmmmm! I actually like their plain brand even -- and add my own fruit or honey. The vanilla is quite tasty too! Its so creamy it tastes like a dessert!

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DDESERTDDAWN 2/1/2012 5:05PM

    Sounds great. Tinkering is important for the lab of our own bodies. And sometimes the lab changes.

Doing what it takes makes sense!
Chobani is wonderful. Protein is too for me right now. TONS of it and fiber are helpiung me stick to it. So, that's what I'm doing.

Good luck,
dDawn

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IRISHBEANERGAL 2/1/2012 2:23PM

    As always, I enjoy your perspective. Your running sounds amazing!

~Irish

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ENDUROVET 2/1/2012 1:36PM

    Great work! & I will cry real tears if I have to give up dairy... I'm a milk n' cheese girl. Still tweaking my own diet to decipher the mysteries of the scale. That "Weird Science" is beyond me, I swear - need to just STAY AWAY from the scales except for that bare minimum once a week weigh-in, but I hear their siren song right through the closet door!

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ANNESYLVIA 2/1/2012 1:24PM

    Great stats for one month frame! Drop 5lbs and 1 inch off the hips! And the biggest plus...You feel good! Way to go girl!

I am so into the Greek yogurt now too! I only tried Chobani brand..normally I too give the store brands a chance but I did not even look for store brand. And now that I am hooked I don't think I will either. I eat the non fat plain or non fat vanilla. Sometimes for breakfast or lunch or even a snack. I either add Kashi cereal or fresh fruit but now I will try granola too!

Have a great time volunteering!


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REALLY_ROBIN 2/1/2012 12:58PM

  Candi...you are doing great! Congratulations on your loss and your experiments! I'm hoping the scale will be with me tomorrow! Have fun with the group on Saturday!

Hugs...Robin

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LISA01605 2/1/2012 12:53PM

    Sounds like you are doing really well and finding what works for you! emoticon

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ZORAHGAIL 2/1/2012 12:41PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Chobani is sooo good. Yum.

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Virtual Run for Sherry Arnold - Feb. 11

Monday, January 30, 2012

I was going to blog this morning, whining and whinging about how horrible yesterday was. See, I woke up and did my weekly weigh-in. I was up nearly 2 lbs, even though I did everything right last week. I hit the gym, I ran, I walked, I ate on plan, I didn't cheat, I just had a good week and my efforts weren't reflected by the number on the scale. I chalked it up to water retention, because I had a couple of meals last week that were too/high in sodium. That's a logical explanation, right? Yes, it is, but rather than deal with it logically and not allow myself to be derailed, I indulged in a pity party. What pity party would be complete without cake? Or in my case.. scones.

Whatever. Yesterday was a bad day. But it was also a good day, a day that I should have been thankful for, rather than a whiny brat about. It was a good day because I was alive.

CH0718, a team member on the Half Marathon SparkTeam, created a discussion thread on the team board about this. Hat-tip of thanks to CH0718.

Please read this blog:
www.shutupandrun.net/2012/01/
virtual-run-for-sherry-arnold-february
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THAT is why my crappy Sunday was a good day.

That could be any of us. Recall my blog a long while back about the creep who cruised me in his car? Yea, I do.

Will you join with me and who knows how many others as we run to honor Sherry Arnold? As Beth, the original blogger at Shut Up and Run said...
"GO. Run as far and as long as you want. Walk, hike, cycle, rollerblade if you donít want to or canít run."

I will take my crappy day anytime compared to the alternative.
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C~

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALLTHNGSPOSSBLE 2/1/2012 9:59PM

    Thanks for sharing this. I had heard about the runner but I never knew the story. I will plan a run that day in honor of Sherry.

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IMIN2GENES 2/1/2012 9:29PM

    Wow! Really puts things back into perspective. Makes that creep even a little more creepy! I'm so glad you were okay and trusted your gut. My heart really goes out to Sherry's family and friends. What a tragedy! Thanks for sharing her story. Stay safe!

I'll join you for that virtual run (well... wog in my case)!
Chris
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GAYEMC 1/31/2012 5:00PM

    How sad when a person tries to do something positive with their life there are those that want to take it away. I printed out my bib. And yes, I remember the cruiser on your run, I was mad then also!

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BLACKROSE_222 1/31/2012 10:16AM

    when you put things in perspective, it can really change your outlook. HUGS.

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SUSUSUZZZIE 1/30/2012 10:40PM

    Thank you for sharing this! It does put life in perspective. And it is a good reminder that we need to stay safe, especially when we're out there alone.

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ROBBIEMARIE 1/30/2012 9:23PM

    Thank you for sharing this. I am not healthy enough yet to get out and run yet but I will be sharing it with others and will go for a walk that morning in her honor. I remember following this news story and being so very horrified by it. Thank you for passing on this blog.

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ANNESYLVIA 1/30/2012 8:42PM

    Oh, that just gave me chills. I guess it is better to run with a partner. I don't always have that option though.



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LISA01605 1/30/2012 8:23PM

    What a tragic story! My heart goes out to her family. Life doesn't seem so bad when you put it in perspective.

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ENDUROVET 1/30/2012 4:37PM

    Oh my - yes indeedy it puts my puling & whining in perspective! (Chronic fatigue is nagging at me; had to push myself through those gym doors today but as usual, felt MUCH better afterwards)

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CH0718 1/30/2012 3:32PM

    Awww, this makes me even more glad I shared it. You are very welcome. Stay safe out there!



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GETFIT2LIVE 1/30/2012 2:53PM

    It does put things into perspective, doesn't it? Happens that I have a 5K that day, so I'm thinking I'll print out the bib for Sherry and wear it on my back with the official bib on the front or something of the sort. I follow Beth's Shut and Run blog, so I've been aware of what happened to Sherry--simply inconceivable.

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NUTTYSNOOPYFAN 1/30/2012 2:53PM

    Thanks for posting this. Gives you a whole new perspective on crappy days when you read something like this. Breaks my heart for those who love her. It could be any one of us, at any time, in any place. No matter how "safe" a community and its members think it is. Stay safe out there!

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MUSTANG_SALLY2 1/30/2012 2:21PM

    I remember that blog. It freaked me out and made me wish we lived next door so we could keep an eye on each other. I'm glad you are safe.

I have PDF'ed a bib to print later. Thinking the pups might wear one too. I can't run but we will walk and say a prayer for her family and for all the runners I love that they stay safe. Thanks for bringing this to my attention.

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IRISHBEANERGAL 1/30/2012 1:48PM

    Thank you for sharing this. On a more personal note- please be safe out there! (yes, I remember your blog about the creepy run all too well!)

Much love,

~Irish

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It's my Friday, I'll toe-sock if I wanna...

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Today is a Penguin toe-sock kind of day.

Yes, I'm walking around my floor without my shoes, because Penguin toe-socks should be shared.

Tonight, I run. 3.5 - 4 miles.
Tonight, I play shoot-'em-up with Bill and take out marauding Zombies in Resident Evil Darkside Chronicles.
Tomorrow I sleep in, then snuggle with marauding puppies on the couch, then take them walking as a pack.
Saturday, I run with the Tribe for the first time since last October. I'm super-excited about that. It'll be another easy 3.
Beyond that, I have no idea what the weekend will hold, and I'm kind of liking it that way.

What are your weekend plans?
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C~

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GAYEMC 1/29/2012 4:36PM

    love the socks! How was the tribe run? Hope the rest of your weekend was as fun as the first part sounded.

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ENDUROVET 1/29/2012 9:38AM

    Hopefully this PM I will have a chance to post my own blog - but yesterday I sacrificed "Long Run" in favor of "Kinda Short ride"... (We went to meet up w/the foster family who is keeping Z's retired 1st mule - she is currently take good care of their 8-yr old on the trail!)

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ANNESYLVIA 1/28/2012 3:47PM

    I did some lower body strengthen routine, Zumba then off to see my son compete at the boyscout race derby. Than tonight we go to my favorite cousin's b-day celebration. No relaxing this weekend but a lot of fun so it is a good busy.

Enjoy your run today! emoticon

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HEALING_LORI 1/27/2012 1:27PM

    Love Love Love the socks! Have a great weekend playing with your puppies, hubby and ...zombies!?!?! Enjoy your first run back with the tribe! GO YOU!
Looks like a calm weekend ahead for me too..... (or at least as of now) hoping to keep it that way!
Looking forward to finding some me time to get caught up on my spark!!!
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GOINGBACKTO180 1/27/2012 2:06AM

    Haha that's awesome. My coworkers make fun of me when I run around without my shoes on. I hear "that Alabama guy is running around without his shoes on again". I suppose I am perpetuating the stereotype haha.

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BOBBYD31 1/26/2012 9:40PM

    lol, cute

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NUTTYSNOOPYFAN 1/26/2012 9:36PM

    emoticon the penguin toe socks! I knew there was a reason we click! But I just discovered there is no penguin emoticon. Grrr...

Have fun this weekend. Mine is going to be full of work, unfortunately. Busy work day Sunday. Afternoon meetings I don't normally have. And will probably have to work Saturday to make up for some of the time I've been out sick this week. If I get enough work done, maybe I won't be working the whole day Saturday.

So enjoy your time with your fur babies, your Tribe, and your honey! Have some fun for me!

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ROBBIEMARIE 1/26/2012 8:40PM

    Cute socks! Made me smile thinking back to my high school days and how cool we were wearing those in all the colors of the rainbow!

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SUSUSUZZZIE 1/26/2012 7:27PM

    Too cute! I love them! Enjoy your time off!
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GAYLEP67 1/26/2012 7:03PM

    LOVE the toe socks! So you... emoticon

Weekend plans...getting the car fixed, eating well, exercising, cooking for the parents' freezer, dreaming about my upcoming vacation...
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G
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ROXIT22222 1/26/2012 3:48PM

    Blue powder skiing on Saturday! I can hardly wait. As you know Friday is going to be my 'long run' not sure how long I'll go. 5-6 miles Sunday there are no plans. Maybe a trip to fit right if they are open to see what they say about running shoes for me.

Got some sunshine coming our way for friday and saturday!



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BLACKROSE_222 1/26/2012 3:00PM

    Apparently, my plans are being lazy! ARGH. Oh well, rest ice compression and elevation. Sigh. Your socks are ADORABLE!!! love them!

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GETFIT2LIVE 1/26/2012 2:35PM

    Love the socks--too cute not to share! Sounds like a great weekend ahead for you; I'm jealous of the sleeping in part, that seems to be a foreign concept in our household these days. This weekend we get to watch our grandson on Saturday, and I'm hoping for a chance to run outside sometime as well; seems between weather, darkness, and schedules, we don't get outside nearly often enough this time of year. The treadmill is okay, but it's not the same. Enjoy!

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PARASELENIC 1/26/2012 2:28PM

    I love toe socks! They are my favorite-- I wear them whenever I'm feeling a little silly. They make me giggle.

Sounds like your weekend is going to be awesome!

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IRISHBEANERGAL 1/26/2012 2:06PM

    I LOVE THE SOCKS... reminds me of when I was a teenager - I had rainbow ones!

This weekend is my daughter's birthday, so I'm going to be herding children at a birthday party and then celebrating with family. Lots of pitfalls for sure - ie. food! But I have a plan!

Keep up the great work! Again, I love the socks!

~Irish

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REALLY_ROBIN 1/26/2012 2:05PM

  You rock girl...in your socks! Sounds like a great weekend! I'm planning on going to Niks...we are going to walk Friday night and Sunday and go to the gym on Saturday. He's also challenged me to bowling...so of course I will have to do my very best there too! I love these active weekends!

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LISA01605 1/26/2012 12:25PM

    Love the socks! Are the comfortable? Did they take some getting used to?

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MUSTANG_SALLY2 1/26/2012 12:08PM

    I love those socks! I cannot imagine trying to get my toes in the right cubbies! LOL

I'm meeting a friend and we're going to hit some 2nd hand shops and have lunch. I hope I can be "up" for it by then. Ha!

I hope you have a lovely weekend. I'm jealous that you've got that extra time but happy for you too.

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HRENEE40 1/26/2012 12:05PM

    Hehehe....LOVE those socks!

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IMIN2GENES 1/26/2012 12:02PM

    OMG! I want a pair of those socks! I love it!!

My weekend, I'm planning on finally getting that tree down and the last little bits of decorations back into the attic. Then it's going to be full on war in my closet. If it doesn't look good, it's gone! I think I need that purge...

Hope you have an awesome weekend! Many thanks for sharing the penguin sock pics. It sure made me smile!
Chris
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What drives you?

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

What drives you?

Persistence (I probably drive Karen42Boys up the wall since she revealed her superhero name is Persistah! I LOVE that name, truly, and refer to her as that a LOT because she is raw awesomeness). Patience. Determination. Want-power. Stubbornness.

Nowhere in there do you see the word Ďperfectioní Ďcause it just ainít happeniní now, lemme tell ya!

Sorry, slipped back into my back-home twang there for a moí.
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Anyway.. how often have we heard that phrase? ________, not perfection. Fill in your own blank, itís different for each one of us.

I exchanged messages the other day with a dear friend emoticon (the owner of one third of my brain, Gayle). She asked how I got myself re-motivated, and I fought long and hard on how to respond to her question. See, I donít consider myself motivated. In fact, I consider myself de-motivated. Or maybe that should be re-de-motivated. Let me explain.

Last year was the year of 10 lbs. It was also the year of two Half marathons, tons of Zumba classes, lots of lifting, lots of training, and lots of healthier eating.
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Letís not forget it was also the year of lots of Struggle Ė more emotionally than physically. Yes, it deserves a capital S.
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This year, Iíve changed tactics. This year, Iím easing up. Last year I went full bore (or at least it felt like it to me) and I burned myself out. I can see this in hindsight (what a grand thing it is, eh?).
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This year, Iíve cut back on Zumba Ė itís a great workout and I love my Zumba ladies, but I realized I was tired of getting home at 7:45-8:00 at night, when Iím used to going to bed at 8:30 (especially when itís so flippiní dark so stinkiní early). I was tired of eating dinner so late, being starved because of it, burning oodles of calories but then eating them right back on when combing my Zumba burn and running burn. It was too much, and something had to give.

Well, I gave up EVERYTHING for a while, and now Iím slowly getting back to feeling good, and feeling better about myself and my efforts. Still and all, thereís a part of my brain thatís shouting ĎSLACKERí because Iím not working as hard as I was. I keep reminding myself that itís alright. I have a plan.
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Monthly release of poundage? 2.5 lbs. Thatís right Ė 2 Ĺ lbs. 40 ounces. A month, not a week, a MONTH. Thatís IT. Thatís all I want. That will be 30 lbs in a year, yíall. Check out my ticker Ė yep, thatís my plan for the entire YEAR.
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Calorie burn per week? On Spark, the calorie burn per week is around 1320. Thatís all. I will increase that number as my mileage increases with training, and Iíll adjust/allow for that.
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Iím also using my BodyBugg, and on that site, Iíve set my desired calorie burn per day to 2700. Most days, I achieve that burn. Sometimes, itís in the low 2400s, but then itíll average out with a few low 2800s. Overall, Iím averaging a pretty good burn each day.
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Zumba classes may be added back into the schedule once the days lighten/brighten up some and it doesnít appear to be midnight by 5 pm. Thatís important to me, as it likely is for many of you Ė the want and NEED for more sunlight in our lives.
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The thing is.. I was unhealthy, unmotivated, and unhappy for a large part of my adult life. Letís say from age 20 (when I had my daughter, lost some babyweight, but then started packing on more and More and MORE lbs) on. Iím 44 now. I started Spark two years ago in May.

For 22 years, I lived an unhealthy life and lifestyle. Who am I to expect that suddenly, Iím going to lose 120 lbs in one year? Really? One year versus 22? Hmm.
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Donít take me wrong. I love Love LOVE the inspirational stories and people here on SparkPeople. I absolutely DO, and they help me when Iím feeling down and out. Theyíre not me, though. For whatever reason, I was not persistent enough, driven enough, determined enough, consistent enough, stubborn enough.. _______ enough to be one of those people who drops all the excess weight in 12 months.
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SO?...
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I WILL be one of those people in 3 years.. 4 years.. at some point in my lifetime. I mean, what else do I have to do? Iím battling 22 years worth of bad choices. 22 years worth of not caring. 22 years worth of unhealthy eating. 22 years worth of emotional baggage. 22 years worth of taking the easy way. 22 years worth of fat having made itself at home on my frame. I have FAT older than some of you out there!*

I didnít reach my goal in 12 months? 24 months? Boo-to-the-*blEEpiní*-Hoo for me.
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Prepare for a simple statement of fact:
I cannot undo 22 years worth of negative with only 20 months worth of positive. Maybe you can. Maybe someone else can. I cannot.

Yíknow what though?
Iím learning to be ok with that. I have the next 22 years to decide what kind of life I want to live, what kind of body I want to have, what kind food I want to eat, what kind of person I want to be.

So yea.. Iím re-de-motivated. Iím doing things differently. Iím taking my time, trying really hard not to sweat the small stuff, learning to appreciate loses and gains of all kinds, and working hard at being ok with being me. THAT is what is driving me.

Iím not motivated. I am learning, still, to be patient. I am stubborn. I am determined. I will do this, no matter how long it takes.

What are YOU doing for the next 22 years?
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*(Ok, not really, I know, fat cells regenerate, but allow me the silly license with reality to make my point, please and thank you)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALING_LORI 1/27/2012 1:09PM

    I LOVE reading your blogs Candy! I LOVE how you "say it like it is"! Honesty is such a big part of the journey and so is understanding yourself. I love how you are figuring out YOU, which makes me want to figure out ME!
Thanks again for sharing YOU! emoticon
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WALKAWAY 1/25/2012 4:04PM

    emoticonblog. You always seem to hit the nail on the head. I truly believe that you will succeed. I believe I will succeed, and that we all will succeed. We just have to find our own pace, run our own race, deal with the struggles and challenges that come our way. And remember that we're not perfect........we're human.

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SUSUSUZZZIE 1/25/2012 12:47PM

    THIS IS A TERRIFICALLY AWESOME BLOG! You gave me lots to think about and lots of perspective.

" I cannot undo 22 years worth of negative with only 20 months worth of positive. Maybe you can. Maybe someone else can. I cannot."

You are sooo right. I have my own years of self-inflicted physical and mental abuse. How can I expect to fix everything in a few months or to figure out a formula that will work every day, week, month until I reach my goal.

"I am learning, still, to be patient. I am stubborn. I am determined. I will do this, no matter how long it takes."

Thank you for sharing with us! Keep on learning to be patient, being determined and you WILL do this!

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MRSGOAD 1/25/2012 11:30AM

  I am right there with you on the eating healthy. I haven't eaten healthy since I made my own food choices in middle school. That's 18 years of eating junk and being lazy! Even though people think you should change in a snap of your fingers when you says you're doing XYZ it takes time! I am so happy to see this blog to put my feelings right into words!

And away from talking about myelf. LOL. YOU CAN DO IT!! 30 lbs a year! Whoa that's good stuff! I hope you are able to keep your mindset of patience and focus on your and what you need not the numbers on the scale! good luck!!!

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GAYLEP67 1/25/2012 7:39AM

    Thank you for being one of the 2 smart 2/3, Candy! Not sure what I'd do without you and T to keep me on course. Your blog is so spot on...thank you for writing it. From day one you have been such an inspiration to me - even when you were going through your own rough patches. You make me realize that it's okay for me to have the struggles that I have and that I will in fact get through them sooner or later. You give me the strength to be okay with me and that's not something I've come by easily. So thank you my dear friend...thank you.

G
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REALLY_ROBIN 1/25/2012 12:14AM

  Thanks for saying so well how I feel!

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ANNESYLVIA 1/24/2012 8:44PM

    I'm right there with you. I don't know if I could have lost anymore weight than I did in my first or now during my second year in spark world if I did something more or better or blah blah etc.....What I do know is that I did not lose the weight. My BMI is still overweight. But I also know I am healthy again and regain my love for being active and working out. And now that I think about it...it took me over five years to gain all this weight and I guess it might take me five years to take it off. But hey I am 45yo....if it takes longer so be it. THANK YOU Candy for the reality check.

Comment edited on: 1/24/2012 8:54:04 PM

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IMIN2GENES 1/24/2012 6:43PM

    'Ain't hindsight grand?? OMG! I so love this blog and I'm really glad to hear you getting your mojo back. So, for the next 22 years, I plan on working to get fit right alongside you!
Chris
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LISA01605 1/24/2012 6:03PM

    Love your plan! Slow and steady wins the race! It took me 4 years with many ups and downs to get where I am now and I am ok with that. I am hoping to reach goal this year but if I don't I am ok with that too as long as I make forward progress and don't back slide.

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CRAZYDOGLADYBO 1/24/2012 5:07PM

    Great blog! Great goals! Yes this is your journey and you must take it your way. I think you are on the right track!!!

By the way, I got lucky. Yes lucky, I noticed my weight gain and found spark people before I got obese. Yes I thank the stars every day for that piece of luck. Just to let you know I have been doing this for over a year too!

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NUTTYSNOOPYFAN 1/24/2012 5:06PM

    Once again, love the honesty. Lots of love to you on your journey! And thanks for the sunshine you spread along the way! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NEWHORIZONSR4ME 1/24/2012 4:18PM

    Sounds reasonable to me Candy. Be happy with who you are and along the way do good things for yourself. The rest will come together...

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MUSTANG_SALLY2 1/24/2012 4:13PM

    I have no idea what drives me. I like ROBBIEMARIE's answer. LOL I'm struggling so much right now. No goals for now. I'm focusing on breathing in and out and on trying to think and speak in a more positive manner. For now, that's all I can handle. I too have many years of bad choices... way more than 22 but I have been really mad at myself for not making progress. Your blog makes me stop and think, which is a good thing.

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GAYEMC 1/24/2012 4:11PM

    You go girl! I'm so glad to see this Candy back!

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ROSIESNOW 1/24/2012 4:02PM

    I like the part about 22 years - I didn't gain all this fast, so I can't expect it to be gone overnight. Thanks for the post.

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ROBBIEMARIE 1/24/2012 3:53PM

    What drives me? My Prius! Sorry I'm still doing the cynical thing!!!!!! However, you can tell I haven't given up entirely as I do check in here now and again and have actually told a few pounds to get lost since the beginning of the year. I am thrilled to read about your common sense approach to remotivation!

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TURTLERASKIN 1/24/2012 3:08PM

    Why are we so dumb sometimes, particularly about setting arbitrary deadlines? I've freaked myself out repeatedly by setting random deadlines to lose weight, and then not getting them done.

One point of contention, though: you are perfection. Because you keep coming back and adjusting. Because you're honest about your mistakes. Because you've gone from 22 years of "no, I can't" to "yes, I can, in my own way and my own time."

Woo hoo!

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IRISHBEANERGAL 1/24/2012 1:37PM

    Umm.. did I tell you how much I admire your intelligence gal?

You are spot on with this - 'nuff said!

~Irish

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BLACKROSE_222 1/24/2012 1:20PM

    You rock, and you have awesomeness with words and such. Great job!

Oh - and what drives me? My little blue car. emoticon

but also No One But Me.

Comment edited on: 1/24/2012 1:21:16 PM

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PARASELENIC 1/24/2012 1:12PM

    I see perfection all over this blog.

Perfection of acceptance, of flexibility, of reality, of tenacity.

You lived through an odd year last year, with lots of gains and losses in many spheres of life.

And you didn't give up or burn out (okay, maybe you got a little crispy sometimes, but not burned).

However, you had the innerstrength to review your goals, reassess, and re-create your plan to work for you. I think this is genius. I also think that this plan, taking it slow is perfect for where you are right now. Does that mean you will still be here in June? Probably not. But you have the foresight to recognize when something doesn't fit and adjusting it so that it does.

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For you..

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Tonight wasn't anything special, but in a way it was. I went for a run tonight. The rain had slacked off enough that I was able to get outside. I ran my usual route, through the neighborhood, down to the gym with an extra block thrown in to make sure I got at least 3 miles. I ended up with 3.25. Nice.

The thing is.. it was a Great run, and it was Great because of you.

If you're cooped up in the house because of the weather..
If you want to run but can't for whatever reason..
If you've just finished a 5K, 10K, Half or Full Marathon..
If you're training for your first walk or run event..
If you're sad and lonely..
If you're on top of the world..
If you're struggling..
If you can't kick those last few pounds..
If you're supporting your Spark Family..
If you're supporting me..
If you're in need of support..
If you've lost 2 lbs or 120...
If you're trying to live the healthy lifestyle, one day at a a time..

I took you with me this evening, so grateful for how you have buoyed me up lately and kept me on the positive side of things.

I listen to techno when I run, for the thump, the bass, the beat. Tonight, this song queued up and really made me think of you.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yr9h3
cmFz5M


Ok, so it's not exactly deep on meaning when you listen to the lyrics, but there are a few gems.
Let's join hands, it ain't to late
Let's keep on focus and concentrate
...
Money can't buy you love that counts
It's only for real when your heart starts to bounce

Keep on concentrating and bouncing. We may slow down, we may need to catch our breath, we may even stumble, but we will not be stopped.
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C~

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALING_LORI 1/23/2012 10:38AM

    You mean I ran last Thursday and didn't even know it??? SWEEET!
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LOSING4LASTTIME 1/22/2012 8:40PM

    Awesome!!

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IMIN2GENES 1/21/2012 8:31PM

    Thanks for the run! I'm glad to be there with you.
Chris
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ROBBIEMARIE 1/21/2012 3:33PM

    Thanks for taking me on the run with you. I needed it. I actually started to cry reading your blog. Yes, I am in a very emotional place right now and your sweetness got to me. I can't wait to be able to get back out and run. You will be with me on the very first one!!!!

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ROXIT22222 1/20/2012 9:58PM

    Thanks for the run! One day we will do it together in person.. :) I was enjoying that the rain had let up today. I worked a long day and wasn't able to enjoy the 'out side'. (I did get a morning gym workout in).. now they are saying we may get freezing rain tonight in my area... hope not! If I do you may have to do another run for me tomorrow... (you are NOT a she-slug today!)

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ANNESYLVIA 1/20/2012 8:49PM

    emoticonAahh, I enjoy the reading the blog...just like I was running right along side you, or 3 or 4 lengths behind ya panting deeply but still running with you. emoticon

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SUSUSUZZZIE 1/20/2012 5:09PM

    Thank you for the run! You are a sweetie! I'm so happy that I didn't miss your blog. It's a good feel-good read! LOL!

I hope you are having an awesome Friday!

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GAYEMC 1/20/2012 4:58PM

    Great blog! It was nice to get a break from the snow and buckets of rain. Have a good weekend. How's Zerbert doing?

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LMLOPEZ 1/20/2012 4:43PM

    Yay!!! Thanks for taking us with you. I am running inside (reluctantly) due to my clutziness and lack of yaxtrax with the 6-8 inches of snow that are falling. But you'll keep me company, won't you? emoticon
Too busy living to blog-but missing all my Sparkfriends. Glad you had a good run!! And congrats on the new puppy!!

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BLACKROSE_222 1/20/2012 1:11PM

    What a great idea. Next time, I'll take you guys with me too. emoticon

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PARASELENIC 1/20/2012 1:04PM

    Happy and honored to join you on that run cbailey! Good tunes!

As an aside, have you ever gone to partyben.com? He makes a ton of mash-up techno songs and shows that are free to download. Some are super awesome to work out to.... it's a little hit or miss, though, but free new music is always nice!

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TURTLERASKIN 1/20/2012 11:46AM

    This made me smile to read!

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TERRYT55 1/20/2012 10:50AM

    Great blog.....I'm happy I started my day reading your words. Hope you have a terrific weekend. Thanks for the encouragement.

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LISA01605 1/20/2012 6:05AM

    Love this blog! Glad to see you are doing better! emoticon

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NEWHORIZONSR4ME 1/20/2012 12:09AM

    Sometimes "wasn't anything special" are the most precious of times. Thanks for sharing your experience and words of wisdom.

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GETFIT2LIVE 1/20/2012 12:09AM

    Thanks for running for me! I haven't been brave enough to try running in the snow, and my gym has been closed off and on because of power outages. Sure will be glad when this little weather event moves east of all of us here inthe Northwest!

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