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CBAILEYC's Recent Blog Entries
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Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Not literally, mind you. I’m still.. well, whatever height I am now. 5 foot 8 or 9 or so. I must measure again someday soon.
Where was I? Oh yea, standing taller. I feel a bit stronger today.
The 2 1/2 days at the coast did me some good. On Thursday afternoon, we hit the beach below our hotel. It was the girls’ first time on the beach, and they were sniffin’ it up for all they were worth!
Here’s the view up and down the beach.
We walked up and down that stretch of beach for quite a while at low tide. Maggie, the little white dog in the sweatshirt, is our adventure girl and was certain she needed to chase the seagulls that were along the water’s edge. They did not hold the same opinion however and flew off every time.
I gave myself the weekend to not track my food, and not stress over eating well. Stress? How about focus? Either way, I just let go, and didn’t do too badly.
We stayed in Netarts, which is off the beaten path and very small and quiet. It was just right for what I needed to quiet my mind a bit. We drove over the Three Capes Scenic Loops on Friday and took in Cape Meares, Cape Lookout, and on Saturday Cape Kiawanda. It was a rainy drizzly day, but we didn’t let that stop us, much.
I didn’t necessarily track my fitness either, but my BodyBugg did show 7,400 steps on Thursday, 6,300 on Friday, and 14,200 on Saturday (more on that number later), so all in all we did alright, though no great feats.
When I woke up Saturday morning, I woke with a sense of anxiety. We had things that needed to be done on Saturday, sure, but nothing anxiety- or worry-worthy. I just breathed through it until I quietly slowly swept my mind clear, discarding the worries with calm logic. Then I noticed this.
If this picture is too small, it’s a shot of a partial rainbow, over the bay. That helped dispel any further worries, and helped me get up and get myself together for our busy day.
We decided to explore Sand Lake after checking out, so drove down to that area and was it a boon! The campground is more geared to four-wheeler and dune-buggy activities, but we decided to see what the beach was like. We walked quite a long ways and found a stretch of beach that was deserted except for seagulls and pelicans.
Maggie wasn’t too keen to go chasing after all these birds this time. It was neat, though, because we were able to drop the girls’ leashes, which we never ever do when we’re not in our yard, and let them walk along with us. I know, it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal, but it was for this mama. They were very good girls for the whole trip.
We came back to Portland after that, and did our unpacking and cleanup before heading downtown to get our packets for the 10K walk at the Marathon. I’d forgotten what a madhouse downtown turns into for the Marathon, so traffic was a little bit of a snarl, but we managed alright. I got tired of circling blocks trying to find a spot, so I gave up and ducked into the first parking garage that came along. As it happened, it was the same building as the restaurant we were going to later! Fortune smiled.
We picked up our packets – get this, we were numbers 1 and 2! LOL I guess that makes it obvious I was a little bit excited to sign up for the walk, eh? Unfortunately they were out of shirts (really, how do you run out of tshirts when you know how many people are registered?) so we got our rainchecks and will wait patiently!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for them to send the shirts to us.
After that, we wandered the expo briefly where I stocked up on Gu’s for my Half next weekend, then ducked out and headed back down to the Macaroni Grill. We were meeting with the Tribe for dinner, and would be dining with Jeff Galloway himself! Huh!
It took a bit of doing, but they finally seated all 21 of us. We had folks from the Beaverton Galloway Group join the Portland group, so it was quite the turnout. I met a very nice couple from Beaverton and we talked about how we started running and what keeps us going. For being as blah as I was last weekend, that evening, talking with other Galloway runners, made all the difference in the world.
Jeff Galloway and his wife sat at our table – actually Jeff sat next to Bill! I was on the other side of Bill, and would sneak peeks at the man now and again. He spoke to us and was very nice, but my bad habit of being a backward dork kicked in and I didn’t say anything more than hello and I’m fine thanks.
Oh well, it was still a very nice evening, and I got to wish my friends good luck and run strong for their marathons the next day.
Sunday dawned .. well, not exactly bright. Some of you noticed that I was up early LOL I was! I woke around 4:30 and got our morning underway.
I was ready for the rain this year! Let’s glance back at last year, shall we?
 
Lawd what a difference a year makes, eh?
We took Max, our local transit train, downtown, and met up with Chas and Gaye at the Heathman hotel. We got the same volunteer from last year to take our picture this year!
We waited around for a bit in case any other Portlanders were showing up, then boarded the shuttle and headed to NoPo. We started at the same place we did last year, and commemorated the even with yet another picture!
We took off, heading back downtown on foot this time. We varied in pace – at one point, Bill took off at a good clip and Chas jogged up to catch up with him. They worked on reeling in each group of people ahead of them until they could pass them. Gaye and I would catch up and then fall behind, until we swapped up and I stuck with Bill and Chas and Gaye took the lead. It was fun when the Marathoners started coming along, and we finally crossed the Broadway Bridge and turned onto Naito to merge with all the Marathoners, Half Marathoners, Nordic Walkers, and Walkers. Whew!
We (Bill and I) finished the walk in 1:49 – not bad, considering we (me and Mina and Molly) finished in 2:03 last year. Chas and Gaye finished a few minutes ahead of us, and then we all reunited after crossing the finish line. There were lots of goodies to be had – juice, water, fruit, snacks, trees, medals, blankets. We ran the gauntlet of stuff and wound our way out of the maze.
We had our group hugs and smooches (I’m not telling who I smooched!) and went our separate ways. I walked over to my office and changed into dry clothes and then headed back to Tom McCall park in case anyone was going to swing by for the SparkPortland meet-up. No one did, but I didn’t really expect anyone would. There was just too much going on, so we’ll try another meet-up next month maybe.
I meandered down to the Firehouse on Naito, and listened to TheCoolestSarah’s band play and entertain the crowd and encourage the runners. I was really hoping to see some of my Galloway gang, and I wasn’t disappointed. I saw Philippe and Pat, and Susan and Lori, and then finally my bestest Galloway bud, Holly. Once Sarah’s band was done, I sent her a quick text and we wound up meeting behind the firehouse and chatting a bit. It was a great way to end a busy day.
So, that explains the 22,000 steps on Sunday! I took the Max back home, and we did very little after that other than warm up with a nice hot shower and watch a movie or two. Monday was back to work, and then dinner out with the family to celebrate grandson James’ birthday. That means I missed ST once again, and Zumba. Tonight, it’ll be raining, but after getting my hair cut after work, I plan on doing a quick and easy 2 miles.
So how does all this add up to standing a little taller? I just feel a little better, a little stronger, a little more confident. I’m running my second and last Half of the year on Sunday. I’ll run it as a celebration of my 1 year running anniversary. And when the Half is done and in the books (regardless of time) I’ll turn the page and begin a new different chapter in my Spark journey.
I’ll continue to run, for fun, for fitness, but I’m giving training a break until after the New Year. I want time to go to the Gorge and hike. I want time to hit the basement on a rainy morning and work with the x-trainer and feel my muscles quiver with effort and improved strength. I want to kettlebell again while Jillian kicks my behind. I want variety. I want to try a two week cleanse. I want to see what benefits I can reap from juicing. I want to try something new. I’m ready to break out of this rut.
I’ll keep running, but it won’t consume as I’ve allowed it to this year. The next two and a half months are for me to experiment with. We’ll see what comes of them.
C~
Monday, October 03, 2011
Before Teresa went on a brief break last month, she posted a picture and asked her friends to do the same, with another picture to follow a month later. I put up my 'before' picture, and now, here's my 'after' picture. The biggest difference is the amount of gray hair that's showing now LOL
Yes, those are reading glasses. I don't normally wear glasses, but need them more and more at work, reading the computer screen all day.
~*~Brief update from yesterday...~*~
Thank you, all of you, for reading my Downs blog yesterday, and for your overwhelming support. I truly TRULY appreciate it, and each of you for taking the time to hear me and respond.
I ran yesterday. I ran my last long run before the Girlfriends. I am going to do Girlfriends, because I want to. My run yesterday did me a lot of good - not only to prove to myself that I could do it, but that I wanted to do it. I went into my run with the clear thought that I could stop at any time, no guilt, no self-chastisement, no nothing. I did it by myself, under my own steam, slow and steady. And I breathed easier for it, and I slept better for it.
I have the rest of my maintenance runs planned out. Bill and I will be going away to the Oregon coast Thursday afternoon, coming back Saturday afternoon in time to pick up packets for the 10K walk during the Marathon, and then dinner that evening with the Galloway group and Jeff Galloway himself!
Once the Girlfriends is over, I'll be changing things up a bit. I'm not feeling as shattered or broken now. I did lots of thinking during the run, and I sweated a lot of the blahs out. I'm not soaring or uber-chipper at this point, but I've balanced out somewhat.
Anyway, thank you all, again, very much. I've read, and will reread, what you've given me.
 
C~
Sunday, October 02, 2011
I'm very happy about the arrival of Ms. Poppy (I think I'll call her Ms. all her life, I don't know. I called her Bump before she was, born, but that's another story..) so I wanted to document that separately. Overall, this has been an emotional weekend from h*ll and I didn't want to taint the goodness, pure beauty and love that is a new baby, with my issues.
I'm honest with you all, by extension of being honest with myself. I don't always share everything though, and that's simply the nature of living your life privately and only allowing glimpses at the bigger, more general picture.
I think things have been building up lately, moreso than usual. There are always stresses and issues and ups and downs in life. For whatever reason, it's all built up and spilled over Saturday morning.
I'm registered to run the Girlfriend's Half Marathon on October. 16. I'm registered. I've been training half-heartedly. I was supposed to run 7 with the Galloway group Saturday morning, and wrap up with an extra 3 to 5 on my own, since last weekend's run of 14 miles was a failure. Why? My legs were hurting, my right shin was aching, and to top it all off, I got stung by a bee, on my ankle, between the tongue of my shoe and my ankle. Sigh. It just was not meant to be. I may have been able to continue on if it weren't for the fact that the floodgate of tears opened up. I cried all the way back to my car because.. well, just because. It didn't hurt that badly, but it did sting, and I was just a mess.
I'm not overtrained for that Half. If anything, I'm undertrained. My head though. My head and my heart simply are not in it. I don't have the excited anticipation that I had with the Foot Traffic Flat Half in July. I have a senses of blahs. Not quite dread, but nothing really positive. Well, that's not entirely true. There are other Sparkers and friends who are doing the Girlfriends, so I think that makes it a cool event, from a personal standpoint. But from a running standpoint? Nope. Just not feeling it. I feel like I've paid for it, so I should at least show up and make the attempt. I may feel better emotionally between now and then. It could happen. Or I could feel worse, and totally avoid the event all together. I don't know yet. I just don't.
Yesterday, all that not knowing came pouring out. As I got ready to leave to meet up with the Tribe, I paused and told Bill that my head and my heart just aren't in it. Then I fell apart. More waterworks, more sobbing, more... emotional wreckage. He gave me permission not to go if I didn't feel it (not that I needed permission, or maybe I did need someone to say 'it's ok'..) so I stood in the kitchen crying my heart out for a half hour. Then I went a little sideways, and got out of my running capris and changed into jeans. I asked Bill to help me harness up the puppies, and to drive us out to the Gorge.
I've been wanting to go to the Gorge, to see our waterfalls, all summer. We just never took the time to do it. I love reading Roxxxit's blogs about her hikes, and the pictures she shares, because I WANT to do those things. I don't feel like I have time to do them though because I'm running on Saturday mornings, then playing catch-up the rest of the weekend with chores and errands.. or by sitting watching every episode of Grey's Anatomy on Netflix and not stirring off the love seat except for going potty and to eat everything in the snack cabinet. Yea, I did that last Friday and Sunday. Nice, huh?
So he got himself together, we got the girls in their harnesses, and got in the car. It's a short drive out to the Gorge, and we stopped often to let the girls out to potty and stretch their legs. One of the main waterfalls I wanted to visit was Bridal Veil falls. I've only been there once before, years ago. Like 5 years ago. At that time, I was able to walk down to the water, but could not walk up a series of steps to the platform to view the falls. It was too much for me. Walking back up to the parking area was too much for me, then, too. I had to stop several times along the way up stairs and the inclined paths.
This time? We made it all the way down to the platform.
It was beautiful, and it was good. This is not to say that I didn't cry 60% of the trip out to the Gorge, or along the way down to the falls. Or during the rest of the trip. I did. We spent 3 hours driving through the Gorge, stopping at falls, walking the girls, simply being outside. I knew enough that if I stayed in the house, I'd end up staring at the tv all day, or curled up in bed all day. I didn't want to give in to that completely.
After our getaway, we then did a little bit of errand running. I didn't realize until we were done and home for the day how horrible I looked. I hadn't put on make up, my eyes were swollen, my face was blotchy, I must have looked as bad as I felt. I don't normally go out in public looking horrible if I can avoid it. I'm vain enough to want to look at least presentable, and I simply didn't.
What I did do was eat a bag and a half of potato chips for dinner. Lovely, eh? Whatever. I logged it. I mean, really? What's the point of logging it? So I can say I did? So I can claim it and be righteous and say I'm starting over? I don't know if I am. I'm not out of this funk. I'm not crying as much today, but there are tears. There's also a plan.
I've mapped out how far it is to run a while from my office, along the waterfront. I know the distance. I know approx. how long it'll take. I don't know how my legs/muscles/shins will react. I don't know if I'll be able to run it, or if I'll be walking it. I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't.
Maybe I'll run. Maybe I'll cry my way along. Maybe I'll have some revelation, some epiphany, some resolve. Or maybe I'll give up, come home, and turn on Grey's Anatomy and use that as an excuse to cry some more. I'm a mess guys, and while I love supporting you and cheering you on - and I appreciate the fact that you do the same for me - right now I don't even know if I can do it for myself, and I know no one else can do it for me. But I'm trying.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
It’s a good dilemma to have I suppose, although it does leave me feeling a bit sheepish.
So last weekend, I weighed in, recorded that weight, and my measurements. I’ll do the same thing this Sunday to keep consistent. Last weekend, I weighed 229.6. I expected the gain from the family visit and allowing myself to over-indulge far too often on too many not-so-healthy choices.
I weighed this morning, because I’m nosy. I weighed 222.2. Now, we all know it’s not logical for a body to drop 7.4 lbs in just 4 days. At least, not this body, at this stage of my journey.
Why sheepish? I guess because maybe I should have been more patient, waited out the water weight, etc. and so on. Then again, I have been kickin’ big ole bootay this week, hitting the gym three nights in a row so far and sweatin’ my patoot off in a serious manner.
Having said that, I am considering suspending my attendance at the group workout class until AFTER the Girlfriends’ in October. I’m still pretty frustrated with the class and how it's being run, and made some poor decisions about the state of my legs and my muscles, and now because of those poor decisions, my legs are shot. I’m supposed to run 14 this weekend with the Tribe as a last long run before the Half. Fortunately, I have an extra week on the rest of the team (they’re running the Portland Half on Oct. 9, I’m running Girlfriends’ on Oct. 16, one week later) so if this long slow one goes badly, I have a chance to recoup and try again next weekend.
Anyway, there’s always a chance that I could go hog wild and eat back on 5 lbs between now and Sunday. It’s not likely of course, but we just never know, do we? Heh.
C~
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
But hopefully a little experimenting is just what you need!
(like really?????) I let too much "stuff" weigh me down, usually other peoples "stuff", try to be too much of a people pleaser and make everyone but me happy. Sunday I made a point of sitting outside and soaking up the sun between loads of laundry, etc. Felt good. 
