Thursday, July 14, 2011
1570Ė80; unexplained; perhaps cur- representing cur
grouch, crank, bear, sourpuss, crosspatch.
I'm a big ole crankypants, full of stuff and vinegar, with a big case of the grumples.
Ok, so maybe it's not -quite- that bad, but it's close. I'm just all out of sorts, and feeling mostly sorry for myself, and therefore being mostly quiet, or a smidge more subtle than my usual rah-Rah-rah self. Sorry.
I haven't run since July 4. I'm on a self-imposed break to allow my leg to heal and feel better. It does. Did. Mostly. Sorta? I haven't run, but I did some running in place, high-steppin' to Beyonce's Move Your Body in Zumba last night.
Great video, lots of fun in Zumba, check it out:
Yep, we do the whole thing, and it is SUPER fun. Yes, even the running in place, which is what did me in last night. D*mnit.
Well, it didn't do me in last night, but my leg is certainly more achy today than it has been since last weekend. I fluffed off last week for the most part, including my eating. I finally reined myself in though, planned my menu for the week, actually went grocery shopping and got lots of good stuff, harvested delicious fresh home-grown greens from our garden, and I've been on plan and on menu with my eating this week. My weight has been bonkers, going from 224 on race day, to 222 the day after, to 227 the day after THAT, and now, finally, after TOM, i'm back to 222. Good grief. I'm tired of the rollercoaster and want to get off!
I've been using my BodyBugg and learning quite a bit. My status the other day compared what SparkPeople said my calorie burn for 30 minutes of kettlebell training and 30 minutes on the elliptical was, compared to what the BB said it was. There was a total of 500 calories difference! I think I'll start up with my CICO posts again, only this time, track my calories in using SP and calories out using BB. I could use the BB site to track calories in, but it's not as convenient or familiar as SP's tracker, so I'll stick with what I know. I know SP is an estimate, and it's served me well to this point, but the BB is another tool/weapon in my arsenal of fat*ss busting and I will use it to my advantage, fully.
So yea. Zumba and ST, kettlebelling and the elliptical. I was a little sore and achy from the kettlebell workout, but in a good way. I kicked big ole bootay on the elliptical, so that was reassuring to find that my cardio/respiratory systems are still working pretty well after such a sluggish week before.
So.. what happens if I don't go back to running? I mean, I'm all loud and proud to pronounce myself a Slow Fat Runner. I am. That's me. W00T. But, what if?
I'm signed up for three more races - a 5K in August, a Half in October, and a Half in May of next year. I'd like to run in the Just A Short Run next March in Pittsburgh with scads of other SparkPeople, too.
I know, contemplating scrapping my illustrious running career (please read with sarcasm there) all because I'm struggling with not running last week, and likely not at all this week either, is nuts. Ridiculous really.
Truly I was thinking I could do an easy two mile run on the golf course trail this evening to ease myself back into the habit, then meet up with the Tribe on Saturday to resume my regular training. It's not going to happen. That makes me SUPER cranky and grumpy. Melodramatic much? Geez-o-pete!
I know this time will pass. I know I'm doing good (better now) to fit in other types of cardio and exercise. I know it was nice to sleep in Saturday morning and not have to get up to go run first thing with the Tribe, for the first time since April. That was nice. Going to the grocery was nice (Bill's been managing that lately, but it's not going well, or at least I dont't think so, so I'm getting extra twitchy and stepping in to wrangle/wrest control from him because everything ELSE in my life feels out of control lately, so I might as well try to control what I can, and that means groveries. For the love of Pete!) and batch cooking on Sunday was good. My lunches and dinners have, for the most part, been ready to go without much effort. Good thing!
So why am I such a crankypants? I'm going to admit that I'm getting panicky and I'm letting the doubting monster called Fat have a voice again.
I'm not running, but my weight is settling down. Maybe I shouldn't run after all.
It hasn't even been two weeks yet, and you're only just coming off TOM and probably still have another pound or two to pee off (sorry, TMI, I know, but work with me here) so calm down.
You're going to pay out good money again to run with a group of people and not get the kind of support and coaching you were hoping to get.
If you divide the cost by the number of runs, then multiply that by the average time cut off each run, and finally add in the coefficient of friendships made, it's worth it. You'd get more coaching if you went to track practice - you're making the choice not to attend. Shush!
Your leg will never heal and will eventually rot off.
I guess that'll be 50 lbs less to lug around then.
Do you SEE what I have to put up with lately?
I'm a hot mess and I know it. I'm struggling, and I know it, and I hate admitting it. I know, this time will pass - that's what I've told friends who are also having a hard time lately. It WILL pass. Life will go on. My leg won't rot off LOL I will eventually be able to run again, and I will participate in the Half in Octoboer, and I will be as close to normal as I can possibly be again. Someday. I just need to breathe.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I could just use some .. something.
Thursday, July 07, 2011
~*~Part 1 Continued~*~
I need to back up for a moment before I move forward here.
I forgot to mention that on Sunday, I got up feeling more hopeful and less dejected than Iíd felt since Wednesday, so I got myself together, and wrangled the Hubby onto our bikes for a ride. The poor man has been fighting a chest cold since the rainy cold Mud Run wait, and while he felt ok riding, he was coughing and hacking and having a time of breathing. We rode back to the house and I dropped him off, then pedaled on my way. I rode into unchartered bike territory Ė Iíve driven in the neighborhood on the other side of 82nd Ave. before, but Iíve never biked it. I did that morning, and it was great. I zoomed up one street, then made my way back along another. All the while, I kept thinking of NewHorizonsR4Me. Girlfriend shared a blog recently that she rode 63 miles (!!!!!!Dude!!!)the other day and I was in awe. I hadnít made it much past 3 miles tooliní around our neighborhood, so to try and imagine going 21 times further? Whoa! I kept telling myself that she had to start out, one mile at a time, too, and to keep going. I finished my ride with 5 miles, and was pretty pleased with myself. Bonus? My left leg didnít hurt At All from the pedaling. W00T!!
We arrived at shuttle bus meeting point at 5:30 a.m., and as it happened, there was a shuttle ready to go a bit early. It all worked out like it was suppose to. The drive to the start was crazy-long, at least it seemed like it! We made it to the island, but there was SUCH a line of cars trying to get to the start/parking that the bus took the long way around the island LOL As it happens, that was a lot of the Half/Marathon course. Eventually, we made it to the start area, found the Tribe, visited the portapotties, checked bags, and regrouped with the Tribe again.
Holly was going for a PR, making it in under 3 hours, and was raring to go. She tends to be on the faster side of our 30/30 group, and I can usually keep up with her, but I knew that wouldnít be the case for the Half. Sheíd be running with Bob, so I bid her luck, then hooked up with Karen and Kathleen and we all vowed if we fell behind, the others would keep going Ė but we werenít going to fall behind, we were going to do GREAT!
Just so happened at that point, I looked up, and there was Gaye! GAYEMC, our fearless PortlandSpark team leader, was also on the island, doing the Firecracker 5K! I gave a shout and we connected. Yay! I think this is the first event we actually hooked up at since the Marathon last year LOL It was great to see her.
With the countdown, the Half started (the Marathon started 10-15 minutes previous) and we were off! I had my Garmin, and it sings out loud and clear for our intervals, so we trotted along alternating between walking and running, at a pretty good clip. Karen worried we were going too fast, but we were averaging 14 mm exactly as we should have been. I was the only one of the three of us with music, and I only used one earbud so I could hear the others as well. I put together my playlist at
I told it I wanted songs for a 9:40 pace and it spit back some great picks. I know, I run anywhere from a 12-14 mm, but figured out that the 9:40 pace/beat was just the right rhythm for running, with walk breaks balancing me out to 12-14 (depending upon how much Iím hobbling!)
So the music and the chatter kept me going, and we went great! The scenery was beautiful, the sun was shining bright, and the wind was breezing. Well, the headwind was actually blowing pretty steady and we kept hoping/joking that it would speed us along when it was finally to our backs and we were heading to the finish.
Of course the photog captured us as we were on our 30 sec. walk break, and didnít get us running before or after LOL
We jazzed along pretty well up until around mile 10. At that point, I felt like I was giving out. My shin was great, the pain wasnít there. My muscles had loosened up, adjusted to running with the compression sleeves, and I was hoofiní it right long. I just got tired.
Karen kept up the charge, and Kathleen decided she was going to walk a bit more than run. The three of us spread out, and we remained that way to the finish.
Around mile 11, I saw Holly, and she was walking. The same hip pain that struck her during our 10.5 mile run whapped her again, and she had been walking since mile 5 or 6. She was disappointed, but not upset or sad Ė she was going to finish, she was still going to PR, it just wasnít going to be under 3 hours. She had a great lead on me, considering how long it took me to catch up with her. I walked a while with her, until I felt I could manage again, and took off at a trot. She cheered me on as I left, and that really helped.
Long about mile 12 or so, I was still doing my thang, and there was GAYEMC on the side of the road, waiting for me. The woman had finished her own 5K (Bill had run the 5K as well and did awesome!), and then stuck around 2 more hours, even coming out on the course, to find me on the way in.
If I would have had my wits about me I would have gone all weepy with gratitude. I think.. HOPE.. I let her know how much I really appreciated her being there and running/walking in with me. I knew the end was near, and I just kept focused and kept moving forward.
Finally, it was there! The finish line!
I saw the timer going for the Marathoners (plenty of whom had blown right by me throughout my run) and then glanced at the timer for Half marathoners. 3:04. SO CLOSE! And yet.. I was done. I received my ribbon, and Karen found me for a hug. Then Bill found me, and we hugged, and I hugged Gaye, and I was a hugging machine, when I wasnít bent over bracing my hands on my knees. My legs were fine, until I stopped moving LOL At that point, they were a bit iffy!
How cute is he? I know, right!?
We waited, and I saw Holly come in next, then Kathleen a bit later. We werenít more than 5-8 minutes apart with our finishes, and that was fantastic. Bill handed me a water, and I followed him about, stopping for one more hug with him because I was going all weepy at last, like I did after my first 10K. I didnít let a full sob go, but it was close. It was just so.. much.
We didnít partake in the after-race goodies Ė strawberry shortcake and hot dogs and stuffínísuch. We pretty much said our gíbyes to the group after a bit more chat, then climbed back on the shuttle bus to head back to our car. These were school buses, and my knees could have easily fit up under my chin, there was that little room. The ride back took less time than the ride to, but it was still a bit too much. Hobbling down off the bus steps, I ďOWĒd each one down, and Holly and I reminded each other to head for an ice bath and lots of rest and relaxation!
Remember when I said I hadnít tracked my food much since Thursday, up until Monday? Well, Monday was a debacle, but I got away with it (sorta) because of the amount I burned. See?
Total Burned 3,574
While Iím prone to being wordy, the amount of words above is not sufficient to really explain to you what my experience was like. I can give you the surface stuff, but.. in the end, the gut feeling I was left with was so much more. It left me quiet. Image Billís surprise LOL I usually chatter on, riding the high, the wave of intensity after a race. Not this time. I was tired, I was quiet, and I felt sort of.. empty. Like Iíd done this HUGEmongous thing, and now it was out there, and I could breathe. Thereís a thread about post-activity let-down or crashíníburn on our Half Marathon Spark Team discussion board, and many of us have felt the same thing and Coach Nancy offered her learned explanation (which is why I her brain!) so itís good to know Iím not alone in this kind of Ďdropí afterward.
So what have we learned from this whole experience?
Pushing past the pain isnít necessarily the smartest thing to do. Believe it or not, I am actually taking some time off from running. Gasp! Shockíníawe! I know, right? No really, I am. I didnít run Tuesday, and I wonít run on today. Iím suppose to run on Saturday, but weíll see how I feel at that time.
Iím resting and taking care of my leg. I did the cold water bath when I got home after the Half. Iím keeping it elevated, and will apply ice as needed, but so far it seems ok. I wore the compression sleeve to work on Tuesday and Wednesday. Iím without it today and my leg feels GOOD.
Work has been problematic in the past, but Iíve figured out how to elevate my hurt leg on my fitness ball, under my desk, so I donít look awkward or sprawled out and lazy LOL This is a good thing! Iím still getting up every hour to walk the floor, albeit slowly. I was worried I would maim myself doing the Half, but I didnít, and Iím grateful for that. It would have been worth it if I had, but Iím happy thatís not the case.
Iíll keep hitting the gym for my scheduled strength training. We went last night, and the ST was fine, although I felt a bit discombobulated going through the workout. I attempted Zumba, while wearing the compression sleeve, and I did things at half speed/effort. I didnít jump, run, skip, or do anything to put too much pressure on my leg. A few moves did make me cringe, and the Instructor gave me the Ďdonít hurt yourself even moreí look and speech. I do still have the elliptical and bike riding to go for the cardio burn that I need. All in all though, Iím pretty ok (mostly) with taking a bit of time off (sorta). Iíve earned it (kinda). Iíve put in my time, my sweat, my effort, and I am allowed to take a break until Iím in better shape to continue once again. WellÖ boy does that sound like a copout or excuse to my ears LOL I know, itís not, I just never ever want to be perceived as taking the easy way out or using excuses to not succeed.
Driving in to work yesterday, the sun was shining bright (6:15 a.m.) and people were running across the Hawthorne Bridge. I envied them their run, and looked at them longingly, but know if I want to get back out there and be one of those crazy runner people, I need to allow my body to get better. And thatís what Iím going to do. I am. I will. I can!
In the spirit of setting new goals and having something to look forward to/work toward, I signed up for the Girlfriends Half Marathon in Vancouver, in October. Itís the week after the Portland Half/Marathon, where Iíll probably do the 10K walk with Bill (and maybe Gaye and others? Yea?) this year. Iím excited already for the Girlfriends, and have found some other Sparkers who will be doing it as well, so that should be extra awesome when the time comes.
So there. Thereís my very first Half Marathon experience. It was unlike anything Iíve done before, and I canít wait to do it again. I have well and truly been bitten by the running bug. I want to run for life, and I want to take care of my body well enough to do just that. This healing downtime for me is going to be hard to take, but it will be worth it in the long run.
Long run. Heh. Get it?
Thank You all so very much - those of you who commented on Part 1, those who sent me congrats goodies and messages, those who laugh at my wacky approach to life, nudge me when I need it, dare me when I'm stubborn, and all-around give me so much love and support - Thank You from the bottom of my heart.
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
This blog has been a long time in the making. To quote myself from FacebookÖ
ż6 months of training, short runs, long runs, gels, chews, honey, electrolytes, strength training, laughter, tears, shin splints, compression sleeves, ice baths, and finishing the Foot Traffic Flat Half Marathon? Priceless....
See, about three weeks ago, I strained my lower left leg. I ran the 13 miles with the tribe and felt FANTASTIC! I mean, even in mile 13, I was bouncing around, jigging and jogging around many people in our path, just overall left feeling great! And then, I did the 5K the next day with Bill, which was at a slower pace, but still.. an extra 3 miles. I think between the two, I simply overdid things.
Did I take a break though? Of course not. I kept on going. In fact, I did the Mud Run the next weekend after that! Ha! Take that achy shin, you canít stop me.
Only, it did start to stop me. It slowed me down during the week, especially after sitting for sooooo flippiní long at work every day. Even getting up and walking the floor once an hour.. twice an hour.. wasnít doing it. I got in my lunchtime walks, and sometimes that helped, but not always. There was one day I could barely drive myself home (stick shift) because my left leg hurt so badly.
I self-diagnosed with a posterior shin splint. I know, I know Ė I should see a doctor. And I should! Iím simply between doctors right now and havenít taken (made) the time to find a new one. I did another easy 5 mile run the following week with the Tribe, and vowed to take it easy on myself up to the Half.
I did, sorta. Remember the creepy guy from my run on Tuesday? My leg felt pretty good for that (which was why I was bummed so about having to cut it short) but I paid for it the next day at work. My leg swelled, and I hobbled a bit too much. I cut out my lunch walks on Wednesday and Thursday, and didnít run Thursday evening.
In fact, I didnít do much of anything at all on Thursday, or Friday, except talk myself into not being able to run the Half. I had finally resigned myself to being too hurt to be able to run 13.1 miles, and I was just going to have to accept it was not my time to do it.
Oh, I ate. Boy did I eat. Youíd think that given that I was taking a physical nose-dive and not working out and racking up the fitness minutes, Iíd cut back some. But nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I gave up tracking Thursday evening, and didnít log a full dayís intake until.. Monday.
Anyway, the Tribe was doing one more run Saturday morning, a quick 30-minutes, so I thought, what the heck. I can go, try, and if it falls apart, then thatís that.
I started out rough, and slow, but warmed up a bit, and kept up, and managed without any real pain. It hurt, but not enough to stop me. If I read that from any of you, Iíd probably scold you for being stubborn and hard headed! LOL
I did the 30, felt good, really, and decided to heck with it. I was not going to let fear, or pain, make my decisions for me (thanks Karen!). The worst that could happen would be that I couldnít run and Iíd have to walk, and once walking, couldnít do that, and Iíd have to be picked up and toted along back to the finish area.
What the heck, letís do this thing! I picked up our packets to Foot Traffic, and also picked up some compression sleeves for my calves. Holly wears a set when she runs and swears by them, so I figured they couldnít hurt, especially if all I could manage was a walk. I know, I know, youíre not supposed to run with anything new on race day, but.. I wasnít going to run at all without them, so I made the concession.
Sunday, my eating was a little bit better since I wasnít trying to sooth myself as much. Still not pretty. Meh. We decided to hook the Wii up in the living room (it went to the basement originally because thereíd be more room) and spent the day playing with that while Bill smoked some ribs and pork, veggies and corn on the cob, made potato salad and coleslaw, and fruit salad Ė for the two of us! Itís not like we had ANYONE over to help us eat. Geez-o-pete!
I think I have Wii-elbow! We had such fun playing the Sports Resort games Ė tennis, wakeboarding, bowling, archery, etc. and so on. I hooked up to our wireless network and showed Bill how we could now stream Netflix through the game console and he was even happier. Itís nice making the man happy sometimes. Sometimes. Heh.
Given that we had decided we were going now, we needed to get some decent sleep! We were catching a shuttle to the event site so we wouldnít have to worry about traffic, parking, etc. Excellent idea! Only, the shuttle was leaving at 5:45, and we needed 30 minutes travel time to get to the shuttle, which meant leaving at 5 a.m. (donít ask, itís all about how Bill tells time and how I get ready Ė we split the difference LOL) which meant getting up around 3:30 so Iíd have time to wake, take care of the puppies, swill coffee, down water, take in some oatmeal, PB, and banana, and eventually get dressed. Great! Off to bed we went at 9 p.m. after getting everything laid out and ready to go. There we lay at least until 11:30 if not later because of the war zone that erupted outside of our house!
Neighbors to all sides of us were letting off fireworks, whistlers, screamers, zingers, the noisier the better, apparently. Somehow we managed to eventually doze off (nerves may have played a role in the delayed sleep as well.. maybe!), and I was up like a top when the alarm sounded. We got ourselves together, forgot to get before pics, and took off right on time (yay me!)
End Part 1Ö..
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
So I noted on my status earlier today that I was trying out a late afternoon cuppa coffee to see how it affected my energy for my maintenance run. I had my 8 cups of water in already for the day, so I wasn't shorting myself that way. It was quite tasty - I'm still very much a coffee fan but normally limit myself to my two cups in the morning and that's it.
I had my cuppa the last hour of work, with a Clif Kidz Bar, then headed home. Get home around 4:30 and get changed to head out and hit the pavement.
Today was the first day I've worn a sleeveless shirt outside, in public. Seriously.
Yep, I still have the gut flap apron thingy, but it's getting smaller. Slowly. Sorta.
The black strap on my upper arm is the Body Bugg, and I've got my music strapped to it as well.
My Garmin is on my wrist.
And that leaves the "Hi Helen"s.
What are "Hi Helen"s you ask?
It's that flap of skin, hanging from your upper arm, that when you wave "Hi Helen" it continues to flap long after you've stopped waving!
I remember ClaraBRunning posted a blog about actually having pits again! Arm pits! They're wonderful things, and I'm slowly developing mine. Those "Hi Helen"s are going to take quite a lot more work, and may never ever actually suck back up into my arm/body. It's one of those prices I'm going to have to pay for not taking care of myself and/or my body.
Now I've documented - the sleeveless shirt in public, the current size of my gut, and the flap'o'skin dangling from my upper arms! I'm very much looking forward to someday posting 'after' pics that looks a LOT better than these LOL
I took off for my run. I was feeling much better from the coffee I believe. I'd sat through an hour long meeting from 1:30 to 2:30 and I was in serious danger of my eyes slamming shut and snoring out loud at the conference table!
I ran intervals, but not quite the Galloway way. I ran a block, walked a block, etc. and so on. I've found that when I run the neighborhood this way, it totals out to 3 miles. I was really looking forward to getting out and stretching my legs. I've found that I most likely have a posterior shin splint with my left leg. It hurts where it feels like my calf muscle connects to the bone.
The first block I run, I feel like I'm 75 years old! Every step was achy and I know I didn't look like I was running but hobbling along with a weird skippy wobble. Oy!
I keep at it though and complete the first circle of the blocks - approx. 1.5 miles. I go back to running the first block, and make it about a third of the way through my second loop.
Then this car drives past me rather slowly.
Like really slow.
I'm about to cross a street, so I attribute this to the driver being cautious with me being so close to the road.
Except, the car keeps going very slowly. Almost like it's pacing me.
I glance over to see what might be going on, and the guy driving is looking at me.
Ok, whatever. Only not really whatever. It's creepy. I actually said, unthinking, out loud "Creep".
You know that feeling you get when something isn't right? Yea, that for sure was what I felt. Not Right At All.
Now I know. I joked about having a gym stalker not long ago. But this is totally different. Perhaps I over-reacted, but something didn't feel right.
I'm supposed to run the next block, but opt to walk it instead. That way I'm slower and can keep an eye on the vehicle.
It's creeping along (sorry, that word is just stuck in my mind this evening). Slow, and he's looking at me. I don't look over obviously, but glance over from under my hat.
Two blocks now, he's pacing me. It's just not right, so I cross the next street, and start to continue on my way but at the last minute hang a left and head a different direction. I don't hear the car back up so hope he's on his way away.
I plan on turning right to finish out my run, just going the opposite direction, figuring the creeper is gone now.
Wrong. I get near the end of the street and the creep came around the corner. He'd circled the block and cruised by way too slowly, looking at me.
Now I've got that hinky feeling, but more than anything I'm p*ssed. I don't need creepy guy ruining my run, but I don't feel comfortable continuing.
While he's going the other way, I pick up the pace and head home - I was only a few blocks away. I didn't look back, and never did see him again.
I'm still p*ssed that I let the Creeper run me off my run. I didn't get the full 3 miles in - only 2.4. I feel defeated, but I also feel smart. You ALWAYS hear 'trust your instincts' and I did. It may not have been anything. Maybe he was looking for a certain address or .. whatever. Maybe it wasn't me he was looking at.
I'm also planning. I didn't have the Crackberry with me because Bill knew where I was and how long I'd be gone. Had I had it though, would I have had enough presence of mind to snap a photo of his license plate? Maybe. Maybe acknowledging that he was looking at me would have been better than ignoring it? Maybe.
Maybe next time, I won't be run off my run.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Total Burned 2,824
Calories Burned 3228
Calories Consumed 1974
Calorie Balance 1254
Eaten 2,191 (we're bordering on ridiculous here!)
Total Burned 2,853
Calories Burned 2765
Calories Consumed 2220
Calorie Balance 545
Total Burned 2,557
Calories Burned 2663
Calories Consumed 1973
Calories Balance 640
Total Burned 2,882
Kash, so far BB it usually putting my calories burned 200-600 calories HIGHER than SP. It's been interesting to see, and I think that descrepency is what is giving me 'free rein' in my mind at least to eat so much over my range! Grrrr. Time to get back on track.
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