CBAILEYC   98,623
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Monday, August 04, 2014

Dire warning - or at least, it should be. Maybe I can also be a measure of small hope for some? I'm trying. Again. Really.

272.8 was what my scale said yesterday morning. That was before I had breakfast, based on the menu for this coming week that I set up late Saturday night before going to bed. That was before we went to the grocery armed with a shopping list based on that planned menu. That was before I put my foot down and said no snacks, chips, crap is coming into the house any more. PERIOD!

So that's not the ENTIRE 60 lbs I'd lost previously gained back, but it's close. I keep muttering to myself and to Bill how I'm tired of feeling this way, looking this way, squirming into clothes that don't actually fit and refusing to buy more because I have TOTES full of cute clothes that I use to be able to wear before I ballooned back up again. They're waiting for me, patiently, to pull my head out of my too-large-and-flat behind and do what I have proved works.

Plan meals. Shop based on that plan. Keep crap out - if it's not in, I can't eat it. Allow myself small treats. Make manageable goals, take small steps, continue on. I didn't run a half marathon the first day I laced up my runners and stepped out on the street. No, I sure didn't. I took over a half hour to walk one mile - and that was at full steam, huffin' and puffin' my way along, walking angry and taking control of my life. I'm not all the way back there, but it's still going to take time to get where I want to be again. One step at a time.

I've bee here, off and on. I've worked on at the very least, logging in daily. I'm going to work on tracking my carefully planned menu/meals each day. I'm going to work on increasing my activity and fitness. I've read your blogs and silently cheered or commiserated from the edges. I may not be very visible initially, but don't count me out. Not quite yet.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NETGYRL 9/5/2014 7:26PM

    Hey there! We are getting the band back together! Of course, Irish never left us, but .... yeah. Any hoo... I 'm in exact same boat with you. Trying to stop the slide before I am all the way back at the bottom. Come back and be active with me. Help me get my rear in gear! :) We can do it!!

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OFFWERUN 9/2/2014 10:21PM

    Hope you're doing well, my friend!!! It's not how many times you fall that keeps us from our goals, but how many times we fall never having the courage to get back up!!! xo

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RENZRYD 8/24/2014 8:44PM

    Hey lady, been thinking of you. Still remember me missing out on getting to see you at the RNR...I saw Gale and her husband for a second, and then I turned my head....and they were never seen again :) At the latest I hope to see you again for pasta next year for the RNR- I did sign up for the Half next year :)

Chat later,

-Renee emoticon

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ENDUROVET 8/20/2014 9:16PM

    We're all in this together... I just threw down a gauntlet to myself: signed up for an awesome trip to Costa Rica w/yoga & horseback riding. The catch? Gotta peel off 20 lbs by the end of Feb to meet their weight limit, YIKES!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HEALING_LORI 8/20/2014 12:35AM

    I'm back again too!!! We can do it like we know we can! Time to get "crack-a-lackin" emoticon

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    Hey sweetie,

Well, you have commented more than once over the past few years about our parallel struggles and restarts. Here we are again...I'm actually kinda surprised that our "restarts" are so close together! Though I never had quite the success you did, I know that success is there for the taking for both of us.

Lots has happened since I was last really active on here. We have left Ohio and are in Philadelphia, which thrills me to pieces! Seeing friends and family on a regular basis almost makes the extreme jump in cost of living worth it. I've started a new church job but I'm working part-time instead of full-time, which is a huge adjustment but also makes me happy. I will be starting school in a few weeks to become a certified spiritual director. That's going to take 2-3 years of classes to finish up, but I know it's what I'm meant to do in this life. Heading toward those goals I mustered up the courage to make massive life changes. I am also in the process of setting up a website for my new business called "Your Listening Ear." Once the website is live, I'll send you the link.

Now to make the ultimate life change, to get the external body in line with how I feel on the inside. I'm having a hard time physically. After my thyroid surgery in March and a thyroid cancer scare, I haven't felt the same. Feeling much older than my 45 years on this earth. Gained 20 lbs since I used to weigh in on here. It's time for major changes. For me, that means working on exercise and a version of the Paleo diet. I've read the books Grain Brain & Wheat Belly and they sound manageable for my lifestyle.

I am rooting for you, Candy. We can both do this. Yes, you have done it before, so you can do it again. I've lost 75 lbs. before and kept it off, so I can do that again, and more. I'd love to hear what's been going on with you lately. If you'd like, you can send me a private message. At one point I had your cell # but I don't have your current one. If you PM me I will send you my new cell # as well. I'd love to text you encouraging words! I'd also like to finally become Facebook friends if you're ok with that. PM me and I'll give you my info.

Hang in there, woman! It's all part of the journey for us both. I miss chatting with ya and hearing how you're doing! Let's keep in touch, honey. Lots of love to you! Christine emoticon

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KAREN42BOYS 8/6/2014 10:25AM

    Oh good, we are both wrestling our ways thru this again. So much better for us to get back to nourishing these bodies of ours!

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SUSUSUZZZIE 8/4/2014 11:22PM

    Agree with Irish - NEVER count you out. So good to see you. Missed you so much. Think about you, Bill and the kids often. We still haven't made it down South - really need to plan something but it will probably be fall.

Take care and all the best as you find what works for you.

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    I've never ever counted you OUT, Candy.

Stick your baby toe in the water, gal... and then jump in with a cannon ball and a smile.

Good to hear from you - let me know if I can help.


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REALLY_ROBIN 8/4/2014 12:12PM

  I'm still starting over again too. Glad you are doing the small things that lead to success...that's what it's all about!

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NUTSNUTSGETEM 8/4/2014 10:25AM

    Fall seven times, stand up eight.

Your previous success with weight loss and running was inspiring to me and it will be again.

Get your (as you say) flat a55 in gear (I can say it too because I am Irish and we have no a55es) and get back to work!!!!

Looking forward to your new progress and success!

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Thrown off...

Monday, April 14, 2014

This Friday, my long-time pal at OHS had to be put to sleep due to insurmountable medical issues.

Buddy Jordan was a happy boy who ate anything given to him emoticon He had a voracious love of food, which was escalated due to his illness. It was decided early last week that his health was failing and the humane loving thing to do was to let him go. The shelter was SO kind to allow all of Buddy J's fans and family the time to say their goodbyes before he had to leave. One of the animal care techs and I joked about worrying if his tummy would pop from being so overfull!

Needless to say, I have unfortunately allowed this sad event to throw me off my game. I've self-soothed, as I so often do, with food. Nothing too horrendous, but I gained a pound last week instead of losing one, and I'm not all too concerned with getting back on track.

Or well, I wasn't. I'm taking a breath, looking my sadness in the face, accepting it for what it is, and working my way back to where I should be again - menus, planning, shopping, then actually eating what's planned. I'll get there.

In the meanwhile, Bill and I managed to have an active weekend, regardless. There's something very satisfying/frustrating about hacking grass and dirt from the ground and planting new life in remembrance of a loved one who has moved on before us.

I swerved left.. now I'm steering right. Trying...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RENZRYD 8/24/2014 8:48PM


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KAREN42BOYS 7/9/2014 7:04PM

    I'm back doing my Sparkie thing. I've seen your FB posts, so I've seen that your volunteering has returned to bringing you joy, too. Glad you helped bring joy to this dog's life.

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SUSUSUZZZIE 4/30/2014 7:26PM

    Ohhhh. I'm a little late here but still wanted to drop by and say I'm so sorry Buddy Jordan's health issues couldn't be solved. What an absolutely adorable smile he has in that pic. Thank you for all you do - it's not always a pleasant job and the world is a much better place because of you and others like you who are willing to do the work and deal with the sometimes sadness that goes with it.

The self-soothing is so understanding. I hope you are feeling a little more under control.

May Hugs to you!

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MRSBENNETT2 4/23/2014 2:25AM

    That's all we can do, my dear! You have a plan and you have the determination. :)

Sorry for the loss of your shelter buddy. That's so hard to see a sweet soul like that go.

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IMIN2GENES 4/14/2014 8:20PM

    So sorry for your loss! Sometimes it's so hard when you're such a caring person. Whacking the grass sounds like great therapy to me!

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GAYEMC 4/14/2014 3:18PM

    It sounds like Buddy was surrounded by a bunch of people who loved him. How lucky he was to have you in his life. Yard work can be very cathartic. Looks like we'll be back to rain soon.

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IRISHBEANERGAL 4/14/2014 12:08PM

    So sorry, Candy, about your loss... I had to say goodbye to a good friend this weekend as well (non-furry type) and I "swerved" a bit as well.

Here's to putting our butts back on the trail! Take care.


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REALLY_ROBIN 4/14/2014 11:45AM

  Wow, so sorry for your loss, but glad he is on to a better place. And you sound like you are doing well about getting back on track. Keep up the good work and taking advantage of the nice sunny NW days. Hugs...Robin

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BOB5148 4/14/2014 10:39AM

  So sorry

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Settling in..

Monday, April 07, 2014

So a bit more about me this go-'round. I stepped on the scale Friday morning and was very happy with the number I saw. I was down 3 lbs. The week previous I had only been down 0.4 lbs.

The number on the scale does not define me.. but it sure as h*ll made me smile Friday morning.
Consistency pays off.

I walked around 22.5 miles on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday combined. That was a busy weekend! I burned a lot of calories, so was a little looser with my intake, but still mostly reasonable. No whole bags of whatever for this lil brown duck, nope!

Friday, I worked at the emergency rescue set up by OHS for a seizure they executed back in November.
Saturday, we did a training walk with a friend of 6 miles along my favorite Columbia River trail.
Sunday, we worked on the dog path at the shelter.

I've been working at the emergency rescue at least once a week, every week, since it started. It's in a separate location from the main shelter. I've even spent whole weekends or weeks working at the rescue, caring for the animals there.

That is, in fact, where lil Miss Katie Mae came from.

Once she was surrendered, Bill had decided he loved her too much to let her go to any other family. Fortunately, our other five dogs have mostly agreed with him.

That's the only photo of all six of them that I have for now.
Left to right: Millie (gray), Maggie (red and white), Bubba (white), Katie (red), Benny (gray), Pudgy (red plaid).
I'm hoping to one day get them all lined up and all to stay so I can get another picture.

I can dream, right?

So that's the story of our sixth dog! Yes, I have the Crazy Dog Lady tshirt and wear it often. Rescue work and volunteering has become a large part of what I do when I'm away from work, which is not often enough! It's nice that it's becoming a more active part as well.

All in all, I'm ready for the sunshine we're having here at Portland and all the sunny hours we can be outside. May the sun shine on you as well, wherever you are!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IMIN2GENES 4/14/2014 8:17PM

    Woo hoo! Congrats on the weight loss. It's okay to smile and enjoy it!

Love the pic of your furbabies. Can't say I blame you guys... I don't think I could have resisted Katie either!

Keep up the good fight! You're doing great!

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MRSBENNETT2 4/11/2014 2:54AM

    Hey! congrats on doing so well with the weight loss! YAY!!!!!!!!

My dear lovely son brought home a nice "treat" for me today....a coffee cake they make at his workplace that I CANNOT resist. Darling boy.

I have to get in the mindset that I MUST supplement all this hard work at the gym with a better understanding of nutrition and calorie intake.

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GAYEMC 4/8/2014 6:37PM

    Congrats on the weight loss Candy, those miles will do that to you. I signed up for a beginner's running clinic at Foot Traffic a week from this Saturday. I'm going to try and give it a shot again. Still thinking about the RnR, just not sure if it's too soon for a half. I am going to do the doggie dash.

Love the pic of all 6 of your furbabies. I guess I know who to hit up if i'm ready for another dog. Hope the week is treating you well.

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Stop touching it..

Wednesday, April 02, 2014

That's one of the quirky family sayings we have. 'Stop touching it..' said all sing-songy in a high pitched grating voice, usually referring to an owie but maybe to something that should be left alone - a spider's web maybe. Just silly stuff.

It's not so silly, though, in this instance. You may be more familiar with the saying 'if it ain't broke, don't fix it'. Similar sentiment - just leave it be!

I was touching it, a lot. What? My nutrition. I lost around 50 lbs the first 6/7 months on Spark. I lost the next 10 lbs over maybe 6 more months. And then I stalled. Because I started touching it.

Maybe if I cut out more fat, I'll lose better.
Maybe if I cut out meat, I'll lose faster.
Maybe if I cut out carbs, I'll lose more.
Maybe if I cut out processed foods, I'll lose quicker.

Maybe if I stop touching it, it will work again!

Seriously, I went off plan, off the reservation, off the deep end. Oh, some of it worked, and I did see some results with different tactics. But honestly.. if it worked before, it'll work again. Stop messing with it!

Of course, I'm still in the first stages of getting things turned around and I'm hoping for some kind of sign I'm heading in the right direction come weigh-in day (Friday). I know, I know, many aspects play into the number on the scale, and it's not the end-all, be-all. It's still pretty darned affirming to see that number move in the desired direction.

So. The Spark menu plan has been turned on and is in place. I'm following it for the most part.
I am happier without pasta and rice - it just isn't worth it to me, really. A half cup of either costs an awful lot of calories, I'd rather 'spend' them on something else.
I have nutty/grainy bread now that's satisfying - no white bread, no rolls or flimsy bread stuff. I want something toothsome to be satisfying and worth eating.
Instead of Romaine and/or Spinach, I'm having Earthbound Farm Organic Power Greens - my gosh it's good, spinach and kale and swiss chard.
I'm sticking with smaller portions of full-fat items like yogurt or butter or cheese, rather than having something with reduced/no fat. What do they replace the fat with anyway?

So I'm back to basics, slightly modified. My consumption is hovering between 1500 and 1900 calories a day, depending on what I'm doing that day. I'm trying not to 'game the system' as it were. I know I'll be burning a bit more calories than usual this evening, walking kennel kids, so I justify the taco salad I'll have for dinner.

Evenings and weekends are still a challenge, but I'm enjoying a small serving of hummus with crunchy veg rather than half a family-sized bag of pretzels. I'm trying. I'm not expecting perfection - hence the weigh-in day on Friday, I'll be able to recover from any weekend blunders before the next weigh-in.

I'm making sense of things my own way. Your mileage may vary. Whatever works, embrace it and run with it.

Oh, that's another quirky family saying - take the bull by the horns and run with it.
Get a visual of that. Now chuckle.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GAYEMC 4/7/2014 9:57PM

    I like the smile in your words. I'm glad you're getting back to basics and doing what worked the 1st time. You're right, don't mess with a good thing.

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MRSBENNETT2 4/7/2014 2:29AM

    Hey, if it works!!!!! So easy to start second-guessing when you really really want to succeed. Friday will be the day when you know! :)
I'm proud of you for getting off the white flour crap. I need to, just haven't been able to shake it since November when life got crazy and I started eating a lot of white flour by necessity.

Costco has an amazing premade salad mix - it's all this good green stuff like kale and sliced raw brussels sprouts and good chewy stuff like that, with craisins (I think) and some sort of nuts, and a good dressing. Or maybe it's just raisins. Anyway, it's good if you are looking for something different to get your teeth around. :)

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KAREN42BOYS 4/6/2014 10:25AM

    I just came back in the last week, too.

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IMIN2GENES 4/2/2014 7:51PM

    Gosh I missed your wit and blogs! I definitely smiled at your image...
Sounds like your getting your feet back under you, so to speak. You've got a plan in place and are making it work! I'll keep my fingers crossed for Friday...

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REALLY_ROBIN 4/2/2014 6:42PM

  When I think of myself taking the bull by the horns....I see myself flailing/flying beside it....maybe that's just me! LOL I totally agree....what worked before will work again. But this time when we hit a plateau we can't just start implementing different stuff. Otherwise we will just get frustrated and ultimately give up. It's hard to believe we are back here again, but I'm ready to be happy with the journey this time. And ready to see where it takes me. BTW....I found out that Walmart jeans....AKA Lee something or others in tall are long enough for me. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I had a real mind block when it came time to gaming up for having to buy Eddie Bauers too it's like ok I can buy three for the price of one. I can do that once a month if I change sizes quickly! That would be a pretty motivating non scale victory right there. I also ordered a pair of heal cups for the PF today. All of Robert's posts about running are getting to me...and I want to get back there so badly! And Nancy said she hasn't shed a pound since January, but she has gone down four sizes...that's running for ya! If I ever have to take a stress test again....I want them to ask me....why are you here again! It took us over ten minutes to get your heart rate over 150. I loved that feeling, and we are going to get there! 50 pounds be damned!

Comment edited on: 4/2/2014 6:45:36 PM

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Finding my way..

Monday, March 31, 2014

emoticon I've been logging in consistently to Spark, although not spending a great deal of time on the site.
emoticon I've been nailing my water consumption, which although I thought was one of those easy, no-problem things, had also slipped of late.
emoticon I've been logging my food and have watched it, day by day, come more into line with 'normal' or 'needed' consumption levels, i.e., I'm not gorging quite as much. I recognize that evening/after dinner eating is my biggest problem and have been conscious of that and am making an effort to control it.
emoticon We were very active this weekend. The five mile walk with Bill on Saturday ended up being a total of 7 by the time we factored in moseying the dogs around for their walks, plus more if you count all the shopping and errands we ran as well. Sunday we spent at the emergency rescue caring for the dogs there. Four hours of walking, bending, lifting, squatting, standing. I forgot my Fitbit for the day so I copied over a similar day from a previous week into my Fitness tracker. Once we got home we did home chores and were swamped in puppy love. My legs are a little sore this morning, and it's a pleasant sensation, one that I've missed.

I owe you an update on the dog front, don't I? Well, there are six in the Bailey pack now; yes, that's up from the previous five. Here's a little tease:

Katie Mae.

More soon, later. I think today's going to be a good day.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GAYEMC 4/7/2014 9:55PM

    She is sooooooooooo cute!!!!

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MRSBENNETT2 4/2/2014 4:28PM

    Yay! Hello! I'm back too. I started going to a gym last month to get my fat weak butt back into shape slowly but surely. I haven't been logging food but told myself sternly today that it MUST happen.

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    So proud of you! And that pup is absolutely adorable!!! emoticon This has got NOTHING on you!

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SUSUSUZZZIE 3/31/2014 10:33PM

    Katie Mae is adorable. She looks so soft and what a nice pose. I hope the rest of the family are adjusting well to the newest family member.

Good for you on all counts! I seem to be finding my way back little by little. Just a couple blogs for some good reminders and then reminding myself I don't have to be perfect or nothing.

It's so nice to see you. Keep up the good work!


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REALLY_ROBIN 3/31/2014 1:19PM

  Hmmmm....the term crazy dog lady is coming to me in a good way! :) You have such a great heart! Although they might start calling your home a farm soon and have to rezone you! I'm glad things are coming together. This is a journey that that seems so laborious when it comes to keeping our weight in check and actually losing, I'm not sure why it comes so hard for me, but it is and I'm constantly trying to find alternates to sooth me other than food. Reggie is done with his AA and will be joining me at the gym tonight. I am so glad to have my partner back and not feel like any time I go is time we don't have together since sometimes it seems like we don't have nearly enough. That's so great you got so much walking in this weekend. Your fitness minutes are still really impressive! Way to go lady!

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