CATS_MEOW_0911   68,352
SparkPoints
60,000-79,999 SparkPoints
 
 
CATS_MEOW_0911's Recent Blog Entries

"Follow your bliss."

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

VALERIEMAMA posted an excerpt from the writings of mythologist Joseph Campbell, and the words were very moving. The excerpt is about what makes us truly happy. Here is a snippet:


"What is it that makes you happy?
Stay with it, no matter what people tell you.
This is what is called following your bliss."


You can check out VALERIEMAHA's blog post here:
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=4456436#c
omments

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TENACIOUSTRISH 9/4/2011 4:15PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GEMINIAN1 8/31/2011 6:29PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ABB698 8/30/2011 7:19PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
APIRLRAIN888 8/30/2011 1:56PM

    thank you! that is what i needed today

Report Inappropriate Comment
EMRANA 8/30/2011 1:04PM

  I just came from there ~ and I'm happy that you shared the link! It made my heart happy too.

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Emptying the Hollowness

Monday, August 29, 2011

I found a baby squirrel on Thursday, about an hour before I had to go to work. His eyes weren't open yet, and he was 4-5 weeks old. I looked up in the tree he was under and saw the nest, about 30 feet up. He had fallen to the sidewalk below. He looked to be in good shape, expect that he was covered with fly eggs, hundreds of them. This is a condition called fly strike. Once the eggs start hatching, they start eating the animal they have hatched on. I bathed him immediately and picked off as many of the eggs as possible. I didn't have time to take him to the Wildlife Rehabilitation Center before I went to work, but with years of wildlife medicine and emergency veterinary skills under my belt from having worked at the Wildlife Rehabilitation Center, I knew how to care for him in the meantime. I put him in a cardboard box with a T-shirt and took him to work, so I could feed him every 4 hours.

I knew that something had to be done about the remaining fly eggs and that even a couple hatching could be fatal. I had 2 choices: do nothing to prevent the maggots from living and risk him dying by getting eaten by them, or use an off-label drug that I had on hand at home to prevent the maggots from living. One of my veterinary toxicologist colleagues and I researched the drug, and found that it has been used on squirrels before without incident. So, we figured out a dose, and I gave him the medication when I got home from work that night. When I woke up to feed him, I noticed he had a head tilt and was circling to the left. I have seen this thousands of times before, because this is how animals behave when they have head trauma. Head trauma is very common in baby squirrels that have fallen from the nest. He still ate fine, and I took him to the Wildlife Rehabilitation Center. I told the tech that I had used the drug on him, but he was acting a bit neurological.

I felt so guilty that I may have harmed this baby squirrel that I had been fighting tears ever since I woke up and saw him with the head tilt. A head tilt is not a sign of toxicity from the drug he was given, nor was he having any other signs of drug toxicity, but I still felt really bad. I told one of my co-workers (who is supposed to be a friend) about the scenario and she told me that she would have done the same thing and used the drug. I felt slightly better knowing that another experienced veterinary professional would have done the same thing. Then, when the overnight tech came in, I was updating her about the squirrel and telling her about the head tilt. From across the room, my supposed friend yelled, "Yeah, nice job, baby squirrel killer!" Of course, she followed this by the reversing agent, "Oh, just kidding," when she saw the look on my face. And then, she proceeded to call me a "squirrel killer" a few more times throughout the night.

Later, I started to ponder what I get out of this friendship. This is a person who I think is a lot of fun and she has the same crass sense of humor that I have. She is very dedicated to animal rescue, a trait that I greatly admire. However, she admits herself that she can't keep a secret, therefore, I never tell her anything that I don't want to be repeated to another person (which would be almost any personal detail). Secondly, she talks about people behind their backs, and then acts like a friend to their face. This is a bold-faced untrustworthy person. Therefore, she doesn't really know me and I don't really know her, because all of our conversations end up being superficial and hollow. Still, I don't actually dislike her, but I need to decide at what capacity I want to allow people like her into my life.

As someone who abhors hollow interactions, I was always very open with everyone who I considered a friend. However, a lot of people will throw something back in your face the moment they get a chance. Sometimes this is done to manipulate, and sometimes it's done just to get a reaction. Sometimes I'm not even sure why people do something like calling someone who is obviously over-sensitive a "squirrel killer." It's not so much that she called me that, but more that I would have expected her to be honest with me in the first place if she really thought that. I will be 33 in a couple of weeks, and I think it's time that I don't have people around me who will say things to try to purposely hurt my feelings. I feel fortunate that I have come to recognize this issue at all, as most of my peer relationships had been shaped by bullying in the past. I had a warped sense of what a "normal" friendship was, and it has only been over the past 2 years or so that I have totally cut people off who are not good for me (then again, who hasn't had these people in their lives?). There are those people who are obviously forced and fake, and those people are fairly easy to avoid. Then are those who seem so genuine, until you start to pay attention to how they talk about and treat other people. Some people are outright malicious, and then there are the people who just may not know any better. In any case, I have become pretty keen on picking up who is genuine and who is not, even before they start talking badly about others or sharing things about others that they shouldn't be sharing.

I know I can be very sensitive, whether it is a crowd, noise, lights, or teasing comments. I have learned that all of my true friends find my over-analyzing over-sensitivity to be a good thing, and they tend to share their problems with me because they know they will get an honest answer. They also know that I will never repeat anything to anyone else. The people who may superficially seem like friends use my sensitivity to get a rise out of me, or perhaps to manipulate. It isn't that I have some sort of expectation of what a friend should be giving to me or what I can gain from a friendship. I just want mutual sharing. I have come to realize that the people I define as friends are those with whom I can share anything, and they can share with me, and we both know that it will stay between us. My friendships have not come to be defined by the amount of time that I spend with the person, but rather by how much we each know our true selves. Not the selves that are put on for public display, but who we really are deep down.

I have learned that I am really not capable (as in physically incapable) of hollow social interactions, so I would rather not talk at all than to force myself to be fake with them. I have now gone to the other extreme--if someone is not a close friend, I really don't speak with them at all. Of course, at work, I may end up having to do some superficial conversations, but I am extremely closed off during these interactions. This is probably why some co-workers think that I have no social life or hobbies (most don't even know about my main hobbies, playing the saxophone and kickboxing). I feel like if I share anything about myself, I have to share everything. This may or may not make any sense, but it is the way I interact with people, so I avoid shallow interactions as much as possible because it drains me to try to think of what not to say. Shallow conversations feel dishonest to me, in a way, because I have to put on such a fake face to interact. It's one thing to have a brief conversation with a co-worker in this manner, but it's another to try to mold a friendship this way.

I thought I had done a pretty clean sweep of the people who I don't want to be close to me, but it seems I may need to empty out some more. I would prefer to find some kind of balance to have some of these people in my life in some capacity, but I'm not really sure how to do it. I am already upfront with people if I think they're being sh**ty, so I can't really become much more honest. It makes me feel a bit cynical to look around my circle of friends and decide who needs to go, and I would say that I don't hate any of these people, either. They can have good traits, and even still be good people overall, but that doesn't always mean they will be a good fit as a friend for me.



"A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same."
-Elbert Hubbard

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNSCREENISGOOD 9/1/2011 10:35AM

    I hope the squirrel is ok. You did all you could.

Some people are insensitive. As for people at work, be freindly- not friends (friends if you actually get together after the work day).

I try to never "burn a bridge" with people. I dislike the uncomfortable feeling I get around folks when we might be at a social event or something togther when there is tension. Now, if someone is hurting you, stand up for yourself. (That is different to me.)

You are allowed to be sensitive. That is not a negative quality. Everyone has something that makes them different.

I'm sorry someone made you feel like this. Hang in there.
emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANGELWENDYMAMA 8/31/2011 5:16PM

    I read your whole post. :) Sweet of you to save the squirrel.. Did he make it? Did you hear any follow up?

I hope you told that 'friend' how much she offended you. She needs to hear it. She may not realize her behavior is so hurtful.. If she doesn't know enough to say it, she may not be able to read body language well enough to GET it and know she's really screwed up, too.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOGSRFIT 8/31/2011 11:14AM

    Very fortunate squirrel to have an advocate like you, toxic friend, regardless of whether she intends to strike or is totally unaware of the hurt she brings on others. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
UTMIZ_2000 8/31/2011 6:43AM

    I think you just wrote quite a bit that describes me. It sucks when you are a person who trusts easily because as you have discovered, not everyone deserves your trust. And I am not good at all at small talk. It terrifies me because I generally fall into the range of TMI very quickly.

Having said that, I want to also say I have had to learn that there are layers of friends. People I work with are really my associates unless I see them outside of work, which I don't. I do know, however, that they do care about. Until I have made up my mind about something I don't talk about it, unless I am seeking some input. Otherwise there are a couple of people who always want to give me solutions.

Most people in my life fall more into the acquaintance area. I don't have a lot of friends, so I sit home alone most weekends. That's my choice. I don't mind solitude. When I need some social interaction I seek it out.

What you did was a good thing. Not all squirrels that fall out of the nest can be saved. You did what could be done and the rest is up to God. Be proud of yourself. I'm sorry your coworker thought it was something to tease you about. You can tell her I said it was in very poor taste. YOU DID NOT KILL THE SQUIRREL. If the squirrel dies it is because it fell out of the tree. That is how nature thins the herd. No blame or shame on you.

Feel good about what you did. Bravo!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEWHENRYSMAMA 8/31/2011 3:35AM

    I am an animal lover and have rescued many a critter, some I even brought home because I knew they probably wouldn't make it and I did not want them to be alone and at the mercy of the world! I think you did all you could for this dear squirrel and I feel he was injured by that fall. You cared for him and he was made comfortable, which was better than being left alone at the mercy of the maggots or something worse. Say a blessing for him and release him with love. The "friend" who was so mean has a problem and you are right to question her friendship, as well as anyone else that you feel doesn't belong in your life. You deserve to be surrounded by people who value you, that you can trust and that you know will be there for you. If you offer this in friendship, you do not have to settle for less from others. It took a long time for me to realize that, and sometimes I still have to question people in my life and what is going on. I think for so long I didn't value myself enough. You are going through change in your life and often that means the things around you (things and people) will often change, too! Take care of yourself and know there are other people out there who do/will value the good person you are! Good luck!
Mary
P.S. I just thought of something Maya Angelou said, "When someone tells you about themselves, listen". When the coworker said she can't keep a secret, she told you something that was true. A reason to keep her as a coworker, not a friend!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CANNIE50 8/31/2011 1:10AM

    Oh, I was thinking what a fortunate little creature that baby squirrel was to be rescued by YOU. Your co-worker is a blurter - a blurter with a bit of a tic, it seems. It is not enough that she blurts some dumb-a$$ thing, she then repeats it at random intervals.....lovely. I have probably told you this before, but I will repeat it anyway. I apply a test to friendships: Do I feel better about myself, my life, and the world in general after spending time with this person, or am I weary from walking on eggshells or warding off verbal digs? I, too, find that I have become a bit more reticent when meeting new people (which has certainly not been the case for me since I was very young). You are a complex person with many gifts and it seems as if the true friends you have really appreciate you, as they should. I find you to be a lovely person and I know many Sparklers agree with me. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
46SHADOW 8/30/2011 8:25PM

    Lucky squirrel. idiot friend.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MUSICALLYMINDED 8/30/2011 8:17PM

    I can't believe I read this today. I ran over and killed a squirrel on the way to work this morning. I cried about it. I felt so bad. Hey - think about it...if you hadn't done what you did then the squirrel would have definitely died. Maybe you saved the life of one at the same time I ended one.

I say go ahead and cut that person out of your life. It sounds like someone who gets joy from putting other people down. The kind who just tries to get under your skin. And why? Did anyone laugh at the "squirrel killer" comment? Just a useless, idiotic comment from a completely self-conscious human being who is making fun of you to get a laugh so they can feel like they're worth something. People can be such douchebags.

Comment edited on: 8/30/2011 8:17:55 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
1LATTE4ME 8/30/2011 1:47PM

    It sounds like you did the wise and compassionate thing for a fellow creature that was hurting, and if your friend didn't meet you where you were at that moment, she clearly wasn't paying attention to your welfare. Being friends with someone means that we're both better after being together.

Also, I enjoy reading your comments on introversion - I'm married to an introvert and have come to discover all of the wonderful things that are unique about them!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GABENSEBSMOM 8/30/2011 12:35PM

    So sorry you're dealing with an obnoxious A-hole. I agree that you're so much better off ridding yourself of negative individuals. I spent 10 years with the most obnoxious friend you can imagine. Needy, clingy, whiny, self-centered, and resistant to changing the things she constantly bitched about. This is the same individual who had a affair with my husband. We all need to shed the negative people and focus on those who really love us for who we are. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SCHWINNER! 8/30/2011 6:34AM

    Awww, I'm sorry to hear about the squirrell! You did all you could - don't blame yourself if something went wrong; you said yourself about the head tilt and head trauma. You already helped him just by scooping him up and giving him love. Okay...if I keep talking about that I'll cry, so let me move on to the other part...

What the hell is up with your "friend"?! That is a horrible thing to say to you, made worse by the "oh, just kidding!" I've found that that is a quick cop out to recognize and downplay the terrible/offensive thing you said (see recently: Michelle Bachmann's "joke" about the earthquake).

Hang in there. Hope you're feeling better today!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHAOSTHEORY635 8/29/2011 11:41PM

    She sounds horrible. Avoid whenever possible!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALISHAB3 8/29/2011 10:26PM

    It sounds like you are fighting some internal all or nothing thinking. This is a very common thing amongst those of us with a weight issue. That all or nothing thinking is a left over from when we were kids, its left over 'kid think'. Its logic that we used to believe and now that you are an adult you have the opportunity to challenge your own thinking. Remember, just because you have a thought, a habit of responding in a certain way, or are aware of an urge does not mean that you need to identify with it. A thought is often just a left over, but well used, neurological pathway in your brain. Look up neuroplasticity and then relate it to your own experience. The cool thing is that you are flexible and you have the ability to decide how much or how little you want to share. Sharing about your hobbies is probably a relatively harmless place to start.

That said, I don't know that I would be 'friends' with someone who uses meanness that is barely masked with 'kidding'. Kidding???

Btw, you are not a squirrel killer. You did your best for the little guy. At the least, he wasn't alone.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MORTICIAADDAMS 8/29/2011 9:07PM

    I think it's wonderful that you tried to save the baby squirrel. I found a dead one that had fallen out of a tree after a storm and it was really cute and so sad. You are a good person. Of that you can be proud.

Report Inappropriate Comment
EMRANA 8/29/2011 9:06PM

  That was really cruel, especially to keep repeating the mean thing.

I'm sorry you had to experience that, from one very sensitive person to another.

HUGE emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DESERTFLOWER8 8/29/2011 8:17PM

    It boggles my mind that so many "grown-ups" act like middle schoolers; the lack of empathy is startling. Your heightened sensitivity is a trait seen largely in highly intelligent individuals, and is a gift to be treasured by you, and by those who are lucky enough to be near & dear you. It does take some sniffing around to find people who "get it", and lots of hurt feelings in the process. You have a most beautiful heart.........

Report Inappropriate Comment
ABB698 8/29/2011 7:10PM

    You did the best you could, and she even confirmed that she would have done the same, so walk away from her and her hollowness and hold your head high, for you are the better person. Getting rid of negativity is like releasing toxins. Let it go and go on knowing you're the very best you, you can be. She can go be 2 faced to someone else.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JENNYLENNON 8/29/2011 6:50PM

    Sometimes people can be so insensitive. Maybe you should try talking with your coworker if what she said is bothering you. If she doesn't listen to you or care that she hurt you then maybe you should re-evaluate your friendship.

I try very hard separate my personal life from my work life. I realized that just because I work woth someone that does not mean I have to be best friends with them. I have a few close friends that are also coworkers. I have many coworkers that I am friendly with but I do not discuss personal issues with. We have a purely professional relationship. I think that it is good to have a balance between work life and your real life.

How is the little baby doing? Did you get him to the wildlife canter?

Report Inappropriate Comment
LEONALIONESS 8/29/2011 6:40PM

    :c

Ugh. I felt sick just reading that comment she made. It's like when people say horrible, insensitive things when I've got a sick ratkid at home. Snake comments and the like. Just... awful.

You did the best you could for that little guy.
If he makes it, worst case scenario might be that he can't be rehabbed enough to be a wild squirrel and he stays in captivity.

I wonder if they tried giving him some pred? Maybe he's got some brain swelling from the trauma of the fall and the steroid would bring it down fast. I know when rats have brain tumors (PT) or inner ear infections that cause tiltiness, pred and a strong course of antibiotics works wonders.

The rehab center will do their best and at least the little fellow was spares a death by fly strike. I can't imagine many things more terrible. :c

*BIG HUGS* to you, my compassionate and caring friend.
Animals (and humans) are lucky to have you around.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MILLISMA 8/29/2011 6:16PM

    So glad you saved the little guy and did what you could. As for your friend, she was very cruel and down right mean. You don't need a friend like that. I always told me kids to be careful what you say....you can't take it back and words can hurt as much as a slap.

I also love the quote. That's what friendship is all about. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BECKY3774 8/29/2011 4:34PM

    You did everything that you could possibly do for that baby squirrel. Without your help and love, the poor thing surely would have died. Sometimes, even if our efforts aren't rewarded to our liking, they're still rewarded by knowing that you did what you could. I found a baby bunny on the side of the road about a year ago. It wasn't hurt, but it was lethargic. I drove it to my mom's house, got a box and some stuff to put in it, as well as some water. I called every wildlife rehab place that I could find. I finally called my friend, who works at a pet store and sometimes helps with different animal rescues with me. She had me bring the bunny to her house, and her roommate was going to take care of it. As soon as I got there, the roommate found a tick on it, and got it off. It seemed to be the only one...she bathed it, and cared for it, but it died within forty-eight hours. I'm happy with knowing that I didn't leave it on the side of the road. I'm happy with knowing that I even saw it in the first place! The same goes for a squirrel that someone hit once. I saw it in the road, and long story short, ended up at the vet with it because I realized it was still alive. The vet had to put it to sleep because it had a broken back, but with my intervention, he/she was able to be put to rest and out of pain. Who knows how long it would have laid there by the tree just hurting.....Thank you for saving that baby squirrel, even if he/she doesn't make it, you did a very good thing! emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/29/2011 4:36:26 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
FANGFACEKITTY 8/29/2011 4:24PM

    Good for you for trying to help the baby squirrel. Many people would just have left it there on the ground to die a horrible death. Your coworker's comments prove that she id not a friend of any sort, by any definition. She therefore is not worthy of your time or energy.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANDREA409 8/29/2011 4:00PM

    Good for you with the little squirrel. When I was a vet tech, we had a litter of stray kittens brought in, and they had just been mauled by maggots. I definitely shed a few tears during that treatment. We had to put 2 of them down but were successful with the rest.

I know it's the "law of nature" and so forth, but seeing something like that, especially on tiny baby animals, is devastating.

I've had acquaintances like the woman you described above - we have had much in common and got along well but they gossip, cause drama, and talk about others' behind their backs. Years ago, I realized if they're able to do that about people they call friends, there's no doubt they were also doing it about me. That was the end of it. I've since cut out all that toxic crap from my life. Admittedly, the number of people I can trust I can probably count on 2 hands and my 'social circle' has decreased in size, but I'm just fine with that. I'd much rather be around positive people whom I can trust.

I'm also incredibly intuitive about seeing who someone really is, often within just a few minutes of meeting them. I try to not judge on first impressions, but I do listen to my gut if it tells me someone is "off." It comes from 1) being extraordinarily sensitive and perceptive (painfully so) and 2) years of experience and having to deal with these toxic people. Often, I've found that I'll see someone for who they are right away, but other friends will disagree with me. Then months later, they finally realize I was right. That must be my talent in life. lol.

In work situations, I used to just ignore someone if I saw she was a mean-spirited or negative person. But that just caused them to come after me and cause me trouble. So, now I be polite without letting on that I see their true colors. So far, that seems to be the best approach. It's pathetic that at 31 I'm still dealing with this bullsh*t. I know you agree.

Comment edited on: 8/29/2011 4:08:17 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
SYZYGY922 8/29/2011 3:41PM

    There are few things I hate more than "[insult]. Just kidding!" It's dismissive and it puts it all on the person who was just insulted. "Oh, I insulted you, but it was a JOKE! You can't take a JOKE!"

Report Inappropriate Comment
VALERIEMAHA 8/29/2011 3:34PM

    Hey Erin! Good job on the baby squirrel.

Here's my take on the "friend" --

All the great spiritual teachers speak of the critical importance of carefully choosing the company we keep, in order to contribute to our wellbeing and personal/spiritual growth. The sangha (keeping company with like-minded beings) is one of the Three Jewels in Buddhism -- (the Buddha, Sangha, Dharma). II Cor 5:17 says, "come out...and be separate," which to mean refers to being with kindred spirits. And there's the English proverb, "A man is known by the company he keeps."

I think you're on to something in examining the hollowness that you feel in this relationship. I say listen to you intuition and follow your heart.
emoticon
Maha
P.S. I hadn't noticed that your orientation is atheist (not to mention liberal! hahaha)...well lots of Buddhists are non-theists, and I hope the Bible reference doesn't irritate you...All to make a point about how wide the concurrence about the importance of the company we keep!

Comment edited on: 8/29/2011 3:44:20 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
BECKYSRN 8/29/2011 3:11PM

    What a you know what! With friends like that, who needs enemies? I hope baby quillie (what my kids called squirrels when they were little!) is doing ok.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KKINNEA 8/29/2011 3:07PM

    What you say makes sense - sometimes people aren't a good fit for one another. I think it's smarter to figure that out and save yourself and the person any anguish.

I hope the squirrel is ok too!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ARCHIMEDESII 8/29/2011 3:06PM

    Hmm... personally, I think you did a very kind thing to take a chance to try to save the squirrel. I'd say that squirrel was pretty lucky to have you walk by and give him the care he needed. Even if he didn't make it, whatever care you gave would have kept the poor thing from being eaten alive by the maggots.

So, how is the little guy ? If he gets stronger, will you take him over to the Wildlife Center ?

As for the crass co-worker, she does seem to know how to push your buttons. I hope you just told her to shut up. Some people really don't have any tact. That's just the way they are. It doesn't make them a bad person, it just means you do have to be careful what you say to them.

I have a cousin whom I love dearly. but, like your co-worker, she can't keep a secret. In fact, I've knick named her the family town cryer. If there is information that needs to be told, she'll let everyone know. She knows all the family gossip. Which is the problem. People tell her something in confidence and then she goes off and tells another family member. She told me that she does this because it's all in the family, isn't it ? NOPE... that's why I don't tell her anything anymore. There are some things family doesn't need to know !

Anyway, what to do with the co-worker ? You can keep her as a casual friend if you like her, but I can't see her as a close friend especially if you can't trust her. A friend should be someone you trust. While she may be fun some times, I think after a while, I could see why she gets on your nerves.

I would enjoy her companionship at work, but I wouldn't consider her a friend per se.

Let us know how the little squirrel is doing.


Comment edited on: 8/29/2011 3:07:33 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
BAZOOKABOBCAT 8/29/2011 2:56PM

    Ugh, what a terrible thing to say, especially when you were already feeling fragile and worried about that baby.

Hollow friendships are the worst. I have a few of them myself. I'm glad you're able to have good solid friendships and leave behind the ones that aren't.



Report Inappropriate Comment


The Week (and Month) in Review: Dumb Scale Luck

Sunday, August 28, 2011

I didn't deserve to lose this week. I didn't track (at least not accurately) on several days. A couple of days, I did not track at all. I worked out a lot and was active as usual, but I didn't follow my formal workout plan very well. Nonetheless, I lost 1 pound this past week. Kind of goes to show that not only does the scale sometimes go up when we don't expect it, it can go down unexpectedly, too. This is one of the reasons that I measure my overall weight loss by the month, not the week. My net loss in August was 1.6 pounds. Considering I was not especially diligent this month, I will take any trend in the downward direction.

I have a goal to be at a 50 pound loss by November 1st, so I better bring it over the next 8 weeks. I tend to have a month or 2 of big losses, and then a month or 2 where I am more relaxed about my eating habits, therefore having smaller overall losses. Here has been my loss pattern month-by-month since January:

*January 2011: -8 lbs (-8 lbs total)
*February 2011: -8.9 lbs (-16.9 lbs total)
*March 2011: -4.2 lbs (-21.1 lbs total)
*April 2011: -6.7 lbs (-27.8 lbs total)
*May 2011: -2.2 lbs (-29.6 total)
*June 2011: -0.2 lbs (-29.8 total)
*July 2011: -6.8 lbs (-36.6 total)
*August 2011: -1.6 lbs (-38.2 lbs total)

I think I'm due for a month or 2 of nice losses at this point.
emoticon



Things that were good about August:
emoticon emoticon emoticon


*Weight is still headed downward and have almost reached 40 pound total loss

*Finally posted Nerdrageous Blog! entries and am working on more of them--the Nerdrageous Blog! entries help me review kinesiology stuff and formulate ideas

*Was very active on SparkPeople

*Exercised a lot!

*Celebrated 1 Year SparkVersary on August 21st



Things I could stand to improve upon:
emoticon emoticon emoticon

*Food tracking and eating within my calorie range--frankly, I'm lucky to have had a net loss at all this month, but I guess that's what happens when you burn 5,000+ calories per week on a consistent basis

*On that note, I need to get a handle on the stress eating by choosing a constructive way to deal with the stress, such as writing or playing my saxophone

*Following my formal workout plan more closely--I was very active, but often chose to do an activity other than the one I "should" have been doing that day



August wasn't a bad month overall, but I backslid a little bit in some areas. Such is life, and I am working hard to make weight loss a natural part of my life. Some days, weeks, or months will be better than others...but I own the consequences.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KKINNEA 8/29/2011 2:07PM

    Looks like you are keeping things in balance. I think September will treat you right!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LEONALIONESS 8/29/2011 1:43PM

    Honest question on this point:
"*Following my formal workout plan more closely--I was very active, but often chose to do an activity other than the one I "should" have been doing that day "

So? I don't get why that's a downfall?
If you chose to do something else, something you *wanted* to do and enjoyed, were still active and moving around, why does it matter if it wasn't the thing you "should" have done? Having an active lifestyle is all about making activity fun and wanting to do it. Why focus on the "shoulds" when you're doing a fantastic job staying active doing the things you WANT to do! ;)

The only time I get down on the shoulds is when I'm training for a race. Then I need to hit certain runs, at least, to make sure that my base and such are prepared for the upcoming events. :) Luckily, 99% of the time, the thing I should be doing to prep (running!) is what I WANT to be doing anyway. :) So it works out.

My "shoulds" tend to be ST related. Right now I'm happy to do 1 session a week with heavy weights (I'm doing 15s for biceps for the first set, at least! Which is big for me!) and started biking more which works the opposing muscle groups in my legs and does more for my arms/shoulders than just running. So, I have my shoulds but I'm not stressing them. I like my workouts, I do them 5-6 days a week. All's good!

Good work so far!
You rock!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BAZOOKABOBCAT 8/29/2011 11:31AM

    Get it, girl!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JSALERNO 8/29/2011 4:57AM

    YOU'RE DOING GREAT KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ABB698 8/28/2011 11:23PM

    Hey, your numbers are going in the right direction, that's emoticon worthy in itself! Keep up the good work Girlie!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MORTICIAADDAMS 8/28/2011 11:09PM

    Excellent analysis of your strong points and things to work on. I enjoyed it. I hope this is a great month for you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
APIRLRAIN888 8/28/2011 10:30PM

    woohooo keep it up

Report Inappropriate Comment
TWO-TOO-MUCH 8/28/2011 9:58PM

    You're doing VERY well! Keep up the good work -- I'm with you. Any loss is a good one. :) Have a good week.

Report Inappropriate Comment


Standing up to a better job

Saturday, August 27, 2011


Image from http://www.marcird.com/_blog/blog/post/Fit
ness_Fact_Good_Computer_Posture/



I FINALLY had talked my boss into getting me a sit-stand adjustable desk station at work. I was actually trying to get them for everyone, but he said since I had been "the most vocal" about it that I would get one to test it out, and then others may get them later if there is interest. The desk arrived this week and someone else even set it up for me, so it was ready to go when I got to work on Wednesday. Needless to say, I was pretty excited. It easily raises up to stand or lowers to sit without any equipment, and I can even adjust it while I'm on a phone call. My desk was manufactured by Ergotron ( www.ergotron.com/ ), and there are a lot of options available. My adjustable work station attaches to an existing desk, but they also have work carts and arms that attach to walls. The model I have was around $500, so not too bad. Some options cost the upwards of $1,000.

I think the desk station will take some of the dread factor out of going to work. I am a very fidgety person, so sitting is hard enough as it already is. I've only worked 3 shifts since having it, but I can already tell a big difference. I have arthritis in my spine, and it affects most of my joints. Sitting is the most exacerbating activity I do to make my joints stiff and painful, and it takes several hours after leaving work to feel better. My back already feels better from not sitting for 8 hours straight. My knee is not constantly flexed, which has been an aggravating factor with my knee pain. For some bizarre reason, it's kind of difficult to be nice and helpful when you're really uncomfortable. Hopefully I will start to like my job a little more and feel a bit more compassionate if I'm not glued to a chair for 8 hours straight, being in pain.



Here is where I stand when people call screaming at me to save their pets.


Sitting all day is bad for anyone, even if we are sitting with good posture. When the trunk is flexed, circulation to and from the lower body is hindered. Ultimately, this could lead to deep vein thrombosis. Sitting upright also causes tightness in the hip flexors and can cause the pelvis to be tilted forward. This can contribute to back pain. Sitting too much can lead to overall inflammation and metabolic problems, probably because it contributes to sedentary lifestyle combined with disrupting blood and lymph circulation in the body. "Sitting disease" is coming to light and more and more workplaces are bringing in adjustable standing desk stations to increase productivity and workplace health. The website juststand.org has a lot of information about sitting versus standing and the science behind the health issues caused by sitting too much: juststand.org/tabid/674/Default.aspx .

Even schools are starting to rethink the tradition of sitting all day. We have always thought it traditional to sit all day and that it is a sign of attentiveness and discipline to do it well. Adults have a hard enough time sitting all day, yet it is expected of children. Having adjustable workstations for kids makes a ton of sense. They would be healthier mentally and physically with being able to stand. There are movements to bring standing desks to schools:
www.care2.com/causes/the-stand-up-de
sk-a-new-way-to-learn.html


The added bonus is that I will burn more calories standing versus sitting. I used the calorie calculator at juststand.org and I will burn an additional 460 calories by standing during my 8 hour shift. I have also been doing lots of calf raises and isometric lower body exercises (like holding squat, lunge, and plie positions). I'll be building rockin' legs while saving lives! Thus far I have been standing for a majority of my shifts and taking short sitting breaks.

There are also treadmill desk options, but these usually cost at least $2,000. I had originally asked for a treadmill desk, but was shot down immediately. With the treadmill desks, you can just walk slowly all day (some of them have built-in limits of about 3 miles/hour). Treadmill desks are certainly ideal, but the expense probably puts most employers off. I have also seen people do a homemade treadmill desk by building an attachment to put on the treadmill console, however, it wouldn't really be adjustable to sit and stand.

I would like to get an adjustable station for home use, too, but since my next computer will likely be a laptop, I'll see about that. I don't sit at my desk at home unless I'm at my computer (usually Sparking!). In the meantime, I may actually just do a set up where I stand only. I can stand or fidget for hours on end, so that may be a better option for home.

And I said I loved my desk so much that I wanted to marry it...SCHWINNER! said she wanted to see pictures, so here you go:


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SCHWINNER! 8/29/2011 7:42AM

    BAHAHAHAHA, nice work!! :) Love that picture, new Mrs. Standing Desk!

I love this idea - I work in a little cubicle all day, at the computer, so I'd love to have this option too! For now, the best I can do is sit on a ball or something similar, and take breaks as much as I can (though I forget most of the time!!).

I'm anxious to hear an update after using it for a couple weeks, especially to hear how it's improved your pain and weightloss!! :)

Way to go for getting this, too!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MORTICIAADDAMS 8/28/2011 11:14PM

    Cool. I love it. I have arthritis too and stand up to use my computer. I have a laptop so it works out for me.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ABB698 8/27/2011 11:09PM

    Love the 'wedding pic' emoticon It looks cool, good for you for being 'vocal' and getting something so good for you! Enjoy!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CATSDONTPRAY 8/27/2011 9:45PM

    I've wanted to get something like this at work! My friend and I even tried to swap our chairs out with balance balls, just to do something that was better, but they turned out not to be tall enough. It scares me to see that it could lead to DVT. Now that I've had a pulmonary embolism, that is a serious concern for me. I'll have to talk to my doctor about this! I wonder if there's some way that I could get this at work now, based on my medical condition.

Report Inappropriate Comment
APIRLRAIN888 8/27/2011 7:54PM

    woohoo I just got a lecture from sis about my posture! MAN it's tiring! but GOOD for you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
KKINNEA 8/27/2011 7:54PM

    Love this - sounds like it really helps. I usually have to remind myself to stand and sit straight trying to correct for posture.

Report Inappropriate Comment
GEMINIAN1 8/27/2011 7:32PM

    Yah "for some bizarre reason" ... lol.
You so funny!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
This is so awesome.
I'm diggin' the list of bonus'!
When you had this as your Status statement, I actually Googled them because I was so intrigued.
Well, plus, I'm a dork ... :-)

Loooooooove the veil AND bouquet ... nice touch!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HIKINGSD 8/27/2011 6:53PM

    You're funny! Good for you for fighting for what you what and getting it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
EMRANA 8/27/2011 6:33PM

  I'm glad it's working out so well! I have severe arthritis in my lower thoracic and lower lumbar spine due to disc injuries, and I know how hard it is to sit at a desk all day! They got me a better chair at my previous job, but it's still a literal pain to sit in it.

May you and your new desk live a happy life together. *teehee*

Report Inappropriate Comment
JENNIFERHSRN 8/27/2011 5:24PM

    Glad your boss listened to you, hope the change helps the arthritis a lot!

Report Inappropriate Comment
HIPPICHICK1 8/27/2011 4:37PM

    I hear ya. I have arthritis in my coccyx! What a pain in the a$$.


Report Inappropriate Comment
MISTYBLUE716 8/27/2011 4:26PM

    awesome! way to make some positive changes!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHAOSTHEORY635 8/27/2011 4:06PM

    Sweet! Good for you! I'm lucky to be doing science--a lot of my job HAS to be done on my feet :D

Report Inappropriate Comment
CANNIE50 8/27/2011 3:54PM

    You make a very cute couple emoticon I have often said I am more sore from sitting too long than from exercising too long. Good for you for doing what you need to do to make your workplace a healthier place to be - I am happy for you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
FIFIFRIZZLE 8/27/2011 3:47PM

    Wow, good for you getting this desk. I hope you are very happy together.

Report Inappropriate Comment
EVERSTEPH 8/27/2011 2:39PM

    That is completely fabulous!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JSALERNO 8/27/2011 2:14PM

    LOOKS emoticon I WISH I COULD GET ONE OF THOSE. I HATE SITTING DOWN MOST OF THE DAY AT WORK. WHEN I GET UP TO CHECK CHANGE OR GO FIND MY BOSS FOR SOMETHING OR OTHER I'M STIFF AS A BOARD.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KRAWRS 8/27/2011 2:01PM

    Looks neat! I read once about an office that had sit/stand desks, but there was also a treadmill option so you were walking (granted, at a leisurely pace, but still) all day! I thought how neat that would be! Exercising all day long. The sit option is nice for days when you're just not feeling too hot though. Congrats on SUCCEEDING in getting the new desk! That is a huge accomplishment!

Report Inappropriate Comment
APLUSGURL 8/27/2011 2:00PM

    Good for you! I think that is a GREAT idea! I've had surgery on my legs (varcose) and I understand completely!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MILLISMA 8/27/2011 2:00PM

    Glad you persisted! Looks like a great idea. I've never seen this but it sure makes sense to me.

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Introverts Unite!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

I bet you won't believe the real secret behind why I am having success...and why I know I will continue to have success. This windbag of a blog entry actually reflects months of introspection (Ha! More on that later...) and journaling, so pardon the length of the blog.

I am not a shy person. You can probably tell that from reading my blogs or communicating with me. Actually, I tend to be known as one of the most brash and frank people that anyone knows. I am, however, an introvert. I have always been extremely sensitive to noise, lights, and crowds. If I am in a large crowd, I can feel my energy draining away. This has been viewed as an abnormality that must be fixed so I could be "normal." Even psychologists chalked up my desire for quiet as attempting to recover from trauma, and after healing for long enough, I would "come out of my shell." At some point, I would get over wanting to spend hours in my room writing stories (well, some things never change) and would become more "social." Other kids would go hang out with large groups after school, and I just wanted to go home and play my saxophone for a bit (huh, some things really don't change). However, I actually had a tight-knit group of close friends when I was a kid. I tended away from large groups, but I had play dates with others all the time. But then, just like now, I needed a lot of "me" time to recharge.

A major part of our identity stems from whether we are an introvert or an extrovert. Both terms are thrown around casually, but these deep-seated personality traits tell us a lot about who we are. Introverts get their energy from introspection, quiet, and solitude. Extroverts are energized by being around people and feed off the energy of others. Introverts tend to get their energy sapped by being around large groups. People tend to confuse introversion with shyness, loneliness, or disinterest. Since introverts tend to be quieter, the perception may be that an introvert is not engaged in a situation or is just "too bashful" to speak up. Extroverts, on the other hand, tend to talk a lot more and very actively seek social interactions. I am NOT saying that I think that extroverted people are somehow inherently toxic. Introversion and extroversion are simply personality traits that are neither good or bad in and of themselves. Whether an introvert or an extrovert, I believe it is important to know what end of the spectrum we fall on so we can better understand how we think and what we need to nurture ourselves. Namely, it's about not trying to force ourselves into being something we're not.

For those familiar with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator personality test, I am an INFJ (Introvert-Intuitive-Feeling-Judging). I was talking to my dad about the Myers-Briggs personality types, and it turns out that he is also an INFJ. This kind of goes to show how much of our personality is probably genetic, as I was not raised by my dad. I do think that this personality type is very accurate for me (and probably fitting that only 1% of the population has this type--I always did have to be the outlier). The Myers-Briggs test is based on psychoanalyst Carl Jung's theories on personality, and is widely used to assess personality types in jobs and schools. The test measures the four traits of introversion-extroversion, intuition-sensing, thinking-feeling, and judgement-perception, and these traits are measured on a continuum. I wish I had paid more attention to my personality type sooner. I had first taken this test as a teenager, and even after getting a degree in psychology, I did not utilize this tool. No personality type is better or more desirable than the other and the test is, of course, not fool-proof, but it is known for giving insight into how we think. Over the past couple of years, I have gotten to know my personality type better (typically classified as "The Counselor"), and I have molded my life to foster my personality type.




(Image from http://poofygoo.blogspot.com/2007_05_01_ar
chive.html)

Is this what an introvert looks like?



We live in a noisy, busy, 24/7 country where silence is anything but golden. It can be truly challenging to be an introvert when the norm is to be highly "sociable." I have allowed people to convince me that my introversion was a deficiency that I must overcome. Over the past two years, I have truly learned to embrace my introversion and to nurture it. Does this mean I have purposely become some kind of hermit? No, not at all. I have awesome friends, I just no longer have that circle of insignificant acquaintances (mostly toxic people) buzzing around and wasting my time. I used to expend a great amount of energy attempting to be more "outgoing," but I just ended up being "fake nice." "Fake nice" really takes it out of me, so now I don't even bother. Now, if I don't have anything nice to say (or anything at all), I don't say anything--literally.

I'm not sure what it is about me that screams "partier" or "schmoozer," but people have constantly expected that I would be a lot more social than I actually am. I have been teased about being "friendless" (ironically, by toxic people who I've rejected as friends). This is probably because I am now a fairly private person and I don't talk about my life with people who I don't know well (or who I may not want to know well). When I would attempt to be more "social," I would talk about myself a lot with whomever, even though I didn't want to. Rejecting the introvert in me has had some very serious consequences throughout my life. I would go as far as to say that my major depressive episodes were triggered by failure to recognize and accept my introversion. I believe it was an interplay between having too much time around other people and allowing toxic people in my life in an attempt to be more "social" (i.e. "more normal"). Instead of giving myself the solitude to recover after trying to help people all day, on top of being at a huge university all day, I would go out with large groups of people to a bar, because that's what "normal" people do. If I told certain "friends" that I would rather stay in, either with them or by myself, for some quiet time, I would get an eye roll and a, "God, you're boring." (In retrospect, why were they my friend if I thought I was so boring?).




(Image from http://timemasternews.wordpress.com/2010/0
8/04/introversion-vs-extroversion-basi
c-tactics/)



My work poses the biggest challenge for my introversion. I have a co-worker that sits right by the door to our office, and every time I walk into work she turns around and chirps, "HEY, HOW ARE YA?!?!?!?" in a fake uber-chipper voice that sounds like a chipmunk on meth. I want to respond with, "Let's be honest, you don't care, and I don't care about you, so let's not pretend we do, 'kay?" But a lot of people in America take silence as rudeness, and even the shallowest social interaction is better than "nothing." My current job has posed the biggest issue with trying to embrace my introversion. It seems that almost everyone I work with wants to chit-chat between phone calls (what little time exists between them), and I prefer to take advantage of whatever silent time there is to recharge. It takes everything out of me to talk to people on the phone all day trying to help them (on some days, with a real emphasis on the "trying"). Needless to say, there isn't a lot of quiet time in a call center with 10-20 extroverts in it. My co-workers think I'm bitchy, not because of what I've said to them, but because of what I don't say. It had gotten to the point where a couple of co-workers started teasing and bullying me. I talked to my "supervisor" about it, who blew me off because she is friends with both of the offenders. I went to my boss-boss, who immediately let me move to a different desk in the call center where I would not be directly between the bullies. I told him frankly that when I come to work, I am here to work and I don't really want to socialize with my co-workers. He told me I am well within my rights to blow off whomever I please, so at least I have some support from the higher-ups. Being able to have a little more "me" time at work makes my job a bit better, despite some of the organizational issues at my job.




(Image from http://neuroish.tumblr.com/)



I still get the toxic people, especially at work, trying to worm their way into my life. The best way to keep them out is to not tell them anything at all. I have built up a shameless fortress around myself, and I finally feel okay about it. I just smile because that day I may have met my mother for tea, met a friend for coffee and a walk, met another friend for a swim, and then go to kickboxing with my brother. Far from friendless or anti-social, my life is richer than ever; the toxic people just don't get to know about it. Embracing my introversion has allowed me to prioritize my time to spend it with people who truly matter to me, and that has made my social life as rich as I could ever hoped for.

It took a while for me to realize that all of the changes I have made in the past year have been thanks to getting to know my introverted self better. Accepting and nurturing my introversion has allowed me to be healthier overall--my stress is reduced, and making healthy food and exercise choices are much easier. My stress and emotional eating habits are much more easily kept at bay because I now understand how to reduce my stress levels by creating an "introvert-friendly" environment. I have stress-reduction and coping plans in place. Rather than turning to food to reduce my stress, I carve out time by myself to write, play my saxophone, exercise, or just space out. Rather than trying to turn myself into an extrovert to bring me out of my shell, I had to let the introvert out. I am able to be passionate about the things I want to be passionate about, and distance myself from the things and people who I do not care about. I have more energy now, because I allow more time to myself. I feel like I am even more caring with my friends than I was before, and am better able to be sympathetic with my callers at work. It has only been recently that I truly feel like I am really myself, and who I am meant to be. Being who I am meant to be means I can become the person I really want to become.

I think that understanding our basic personality traits of introversion and extroversion helps us to develop coping mechanisms and to ultimately understand how and why we make the choices that we do. Although it is a popular magazine and not a scientific journal, I thought this article in Psychology Today gave a pretty good overview of introversion and how to cope in a world (or at least a country) where extroversion is the norm. My dad had shown me the article, and I swear it sums me up perfectly:

www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201
008/revenge-the-introvert



If you have never taken the Myers-Briggs personality test, here is a link to a free online test:

www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1
.htm



A good link for thorough descriptions of the personality types is here (although you'd have to pay to take the Myers-Briggs on this site, so I would use the free one for the test):

www.personalitypage.com/html/portrai
ts.html




As for the toxic people who still keep trying to "fix" me or for those who go as far as to bully me, maybe I should be a little more ingenuous with them:



(Image from http://dump4free.com/preview.php?ID=3538)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEALOHAOE 8/29/2011 8:04AM

    Totally get what you're saying. I'm an INTP. My mom was a behavioral counsleor or the equivalent in her many positions of employment. It made it even more difficult making friends when i moved every two years (Marine BRAT). I was called shy because I was not the one to stand up and talk to everybody. But, when I got to know a few people each time, I was their group clown.

Even now, as an adult, I have difficulty in crowded stores, mall parking lots, busy restaurants. If people come too close to my bubble (excluding those with whom I am there) physically or through the noise level, I begin to feel closed in. Occasionally, I come close to having panic attacks. It's not usually that severe, but it can get there. Luckily, I know the signs and my husband understands that when I say it's time to go, it is time to go.

I mentioned this to my mom one time and she wanted me to see a psychiatrist. But, this is who I am. I have it under control. It's only an issue when I am particularly stressed or the environment is extremely chaotic. So, I own my personality. It has its ups and its downs. Just as other personality types do.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PANDARAECASH 8/27/2011 4:55PM

    I am definitely an introvert as well. This was a great blog and insight! I will definitely be taking that test later tonight! Thanks!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SYZYGY922 8/27/2011 1:05PM

    I'm an INTP. My IN characteristics are really strong, but the T and the P can go so S and J pretty easily. I'm a super introvert! I am also a jerk magnet.

I'm kind of shy, but I'm also somewhat talkative. It throws people off!

Report Inappropriate Comment
NEWNECK 8/26/2011 6:10PM

    Thanks so much for this post. I am extremely introverted as well (INTJ), and this sentence of yours in particular jumped out at me "Far from friendless or anti-social, my life is richer than ever; the toxic people just don't get to know about it." My life is richer now than it has been for almost a decade, and I have learned that I preserve that richness and the energy to enjoy it when I keep true to myself.
Not only toxic people, but also well-meaning but over-eager friends and family, can really drain all of my energy and enthusiasm with their questioning and re-hashing and opinion-giving. As our culture moves more and more to everyone expressing aloud every single thought they have and commenting on everyone else's, I'm learning to be very comfortable engaging on my terms and only to the degree I choose. And the people who love me accept it, even if they find it baffling.

Comment edited on: 8/26/2011 6:15:41 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHRISTINA791 8/26/2011 5:51PM

    Great post! I find that a lot of people just don't get introverts. I love people and I love being social, but it needs to be on my terms and I need my recharge time. That's why I love my weekend runs so much, because it's just me by myself.

For the record, I'm another INFJ too. It took me years after the first time I did the test to find another one, but I see a lot more now. I think we do well in a social online environment.

Comment edited on: 8/26/2011 5:53:47 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
LITTLETEALOVER 8/26/2011 4:48PM

    Very interesting blog. I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. Thanks for sharing the links, as well.



Report Inappropriate Comment
MORTICIAADDAMS 8/26/2011 1:55PM

    Very interesting blog. I can relate, though I am probably not as introverted as you are. I've always marched to the tune of a different drummer and was labeled as "different all my life. But I know there are many others out there like me who are drowned out by the voices of those who require constant attention.

My parents were both the most extroverted people you have ever met so it was really difficult for me growing up. They were the type of people whose demeanor screamed "BE LIKE ME!" My dad is still irked that I won't wear a cell phone and be available 24/7. He doesn't mind talking while on the toilet or in the bathtub. I find it disgusting and insane. He has explained to me repeatedly about missing important calls. I have had few important calls in my lifetime. I figure if something is really important the state police could find me. Otherwise I miss a lot of irritating calls by not being "wired".

I'm not even good at taking tests to analyze myself as I don't have strong opinions like other people do about a lot of things, other than I want to live my own life the way I want to and avoid pushy demanding people. I don't care if someone else loves or hates broccoli and I want to be afforded the same respect. I don't want someone trying to shove broccoli down my throat. This rubs a lot of people the wrong way. They are control freaks.

I once had a neighbor tell me that if I didn't vote the way she did that her husband would not allow us to be friends. I was the only one who seemed to know we would never be friends. I was not auditioning for a role I didn't want. It's one of the differences between an extrovert and an introvert. An extrovert assumes everyone loves them and in introverts knows they don't. LOL.

I would describe myself as someone who "plays well alone". I'm not a joiner. I do enjoy the company of a select group of people but would prefer to be alone than with "fools". I live in an isolated rural area and love it. I'm not lonely and I'm not shy either. The nature of my former job caused me to have to be in charge and in the spotlight and although I never loved it I handled it well. I also prefer to tell it like it is. I don't like crowds and I prefer one on one or small groups. I prefer to be me and allow others the same right. The world would be a better place if we could all accept people as they are and not how we want them to be.





Report Inappropriate Comment
CAALAN23 8/26/2011 10:20AM

    I get this completely. I need that time to myself desparately. I do love to be social but it seems I need equal amounts of me time to compensate and people don't understand or get hurt when I supposedly, in their words..."just shut down."

Honestly, I think a lot of people are hurting themselves by not learning to be alone with who they are. I can see it in my son, he doesn't realize how much more balanced he is emotionally if he just spends some quiet time alone once in a while. Otherwise, he just pushes the social juggernaut until their is this dramatic meltdown.

I love your blogs, they dig deep and down to the nitty gritty. Good stuff.

:)
Tina

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOODIE59 8/25/2011 11:32PM

    Thank you for posting this. As the extroverted mother of three introverts, it is always interesting to hear someone external explain their circumstances. I learned long ago that my kids don't have to do things my way to be doing them perfectly for their lives. That's a big lesson:)

Best wishes on your journey to better health:)
Deirdre

Report Inappropriate Comment
ABB698 8/25/2011 10:53PM

    Whatever letters label you, you are emoticon PERIOD! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MISTYBLUE716 8/25/2011 8:31PM

    GREAT blog! I believe I'm an introvert and DEFINITELY benefit from having time to myself and relfect/chill out/focus, etc....its VERY important to acknowledge that..I've tried the whole putting myself out there more in social settings and while I do like being social at times....I don't like tons of attention drawn to myself and I don't like to feel like I need to be talking to everyone...you're right with everything you're saying! nurture your introvert!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ANDREA409 8/25/2011 7:34PM

    I'm also INFJ. I always thought it's interesting that, although estimated to be found in only 1% of the population, many of the people I'm friends with are this type also. Guess it's the type I intuitively seek in friends. Makes sense.

Like you, I'm also quite introverted. I'm friendly, and I can probably talk to anyone about anything (read: I'll listen to them talk about anything), but I discovered years ago that being around large groups of people, especially people I don't know, drains the heck outta me. Of course, I immediately assumed it was something wrong with me, because it really does pay to be an extrovert in this society. I worked with the public for the last 10 years and I know there's just no way I could ever do it again.

As far as coworkers go, I definitely do enjoy being able to socialize and be friendly with those I work with. But there is one condition: I refuse to associate with backstabbers, drama-makers, and jerks of all kinds. Around those people, I don't say a word. I've learned from past mistakes. But if someone isn't like that, I've got no problem chatting with him/her.

Bravo, my friend! Thanks for the affirmation that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being an 'introvert.' I'll wear the title proudly!

Oh, and terrific article. Thanks for posting the link. I read it with interest. It describes me perfectly as well. I've said for years that I prefer one-on-one conversations because I get overwhelmed in large groups. Too much going on.

Comment edited on: 8/25/2011 7:53:39 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment
MUSICALLYMINDED 8/25/2011 7:01PM

    I am the same way. I am really not good at chit-chat...people at many of my previous jobs have considered me to be a jerk, i'm sure... it's like i just can't relate to some people and i just don't care to. i am much better one-on-one talking with people i actually care about.

Report Inappropriate Comment
FANGFACEKITTY 8/25/2011 6:54PM

    I've taken the test a few times in the past, can't remember exactly how I scored but I know it was always as an obvious introvert. This time I am an INTJ, aka "The Mastermind" which is fairly accurate. I too am now a lot more comfortable since I've stopped trying to be how I "should" be according to people who are more interested in making everyone a mini-them than in letting us be ourselves.

Thanks for sharing with us! Introverts unite!

Report Inappropriate Comment
HIKINGSD 8/25/2011 5:59PM

    Great blog! Love the last statement especially :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
KRAWRS 8/25/2011 4:05PM

    I love your blogs. :P

Report Inappropriate Comment
JULIE2719 8/25/2011 3:57PM

    Interesting observations - I have never taken that test but on Thomas Concepts I am a THeoretical THinker. I tend to be very much an introvert, but when it comes to working out, I really feed on the energy of the gym. If there are a lot of people working out I have more energy and I get a better work out. If the gym is deserted - like on a Friday or Saturday night - I can barely do anything - my energy is just not there. So for my first HM race I chose a race that was expected to have over 3000 participants because I don't have enough desire to run to be out there all alone along the route and keep running. I can do it on my training runs because I tell myself my time does not matter, I am just doing a training run. My time in a race doesn't really matter either - but I need the energy of the "crowd" to keep going. It is not that I talk to people or have any desire to say hello to anyone - I just feel the energy of others working out.
We are all so interesting and so complex.
Fun observations.

Report Inappropriate Comment
TEXTMONKEY 8/25/2011 3:49PM

    Yup, you got it right about the introvert/extrovert thing. A lot of people peg me as an extrovert because I'm certainly not shy. But I get the energy sucked out of me by crowds. I took off my "corporate mask" years ago. I wasn't sure why I did that at the time, but looking back, it was because not being who God intended me to be took a helluva lot of energy that I could be using to nurture genuine relationships.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ME_THE_REMAKE 8/25/2011 3:42PM

  Thanks for posting - just what I needed right now, as I have been feeling like I don't "fit" just lately. My result was ISFJ - strong I and F, moderate S and J. I guess you have given me something to focus on to help me understand why I am how I am, so emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JSALERNO 8/25/2011 3:03PM

    I'M AN INTROVERT AS WELL. I WISH I COULD REMEMBER THE REST I KNOW ITS IN A BOOK AT HOME. BUT THANKS FOR COMING OUT OF YOUR SHELL FOR US. I THINK SP MAKES IT EASIER TO DO THAT.

Report Inappropriate Comment
APIRLRAIN888 8/25/2011 2:15PM

    thanks for sharing

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALICIAYOUNG1127 8/25/2011 1:59PM

    THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!amazi
ng, awesome..someone in the world understands me!!!! It does totally suck living in the world with everyone thinking you are bitchy or rude..but I am going to be 40 soon, and I dont give a hoot!!!!I am going to make use of your helpful links...and maybe even print part of your blog and paste it on my forhead so people can read it!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LISA-120 8/25/2011 1:54PM

    AWESOME blog! I too am an introvert and I love how you have put into words so much of how I feel. My poor DH doesn't get it, but does allow me some alone time when I start getting out of sorts. Thanks for the links too. I am going to check them out.

Report Inappropriate Comment
EMRANA 8/25/2011 1:49PM

  Major INFP here. And YAY, Unite!

I SO relate to this blog. Loved the part where your chipmunky co-worker always has to be loud about you, and you want to say, let's be honest, you don't care. I have always had it be like fingernails on a chalkboard when the office has to go through the "good morning" singsong over and over. People say "how are you" as a matter of habit, and they often walk away as the other person is responding anyway!

I have a thing about noise. lol It's not that I am not polite. I'm actually accused constantly of being too caring and too empathetic. But it's that shallow stuff that grates on me. If you haven't checked out the Highly Sensitive Person material, you should! Elaine Aron wrote one of the most popular books about it.

I'm way on the Feeling scale on Myers Briggs. So I guess I get impatient. Not perfect, just reallyreally heavy on my personality type. I'm not in the middle, I'm WAY introvert/intuitor/feeler. The perceiver is closer to the middle. But yeah. I guess you could say I'm just "very." lol

Love the last photo!!

emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/25/2011 1:51:18 PM

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 Last Page