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Overtones of Impatience (and Teacher Voodoo)

Friday, August 12, 2011

The past couple of weeks have had an overtone of impatience with almost everything, especially with weight loss. I'm not mad, I'm not giving up, I'm not going to do anything differently, I'm not upset with myself, I'm not even talking negatively to myself...but it just slips in my mind sometimes that I want to be THERE already, at my goal weight, looking as fit as I probably already am considering the training I can take on. I'm already pretty physically fit; I can easily perform intense exercise for 2 or more hours without being fatigued (and more importantly, I'm enjoying myself). But as much as I want to be THERE, I've had a hard time imagining being at my goal weight--not really doubt that I can do it--but just picturing my body being smaller at some point. At kickboxing, I'll catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and I kind of feel like I will always look like this, even though my weight loss has been fairly consistent. I've had a hard time imagining being a lot better at kickboxing again, with strong legs and better coordination. I've had a hard time hearing in my head being better at playing the saxophone. For some reason, I've had overtones of, "I guess I'll always be this way," even though my forebrain knows that is not true.

In my saxophone lessons, I've been wrestling with one of Handel's pieces (Sonata No. 3) for weeks. There are certain sections that sound okay, but other parts that I have not played correctly even once, whether on my own or with my teacher. Even if I hit all of the correct notes, my counting is off. It doesn't help that I get frustrated with myself and get impatient, giving into, "See, know you can't do it right." As confident as I can be, if I stumble too much over something too many times, I want to give up. My saxophone teacher, Jeff, is quickly becoming one of my favorite teachers I've ever had. I don't think he would have assigned me this piece if he didn't think I could do it--and do it well.

Jeff will guide me through an exercise, I will have no idea why he is having me do it, and then he will make me play a piece and it sounds amazing. There is a note (high front E) that I have great difficulty hitting. When I was playing a practice exercise and trying to hit high E, it never came out right. "All right, stop for a sec," he said. "Just stop, HEAR the note, imagine it coming out, then try it again." I did my best to hear the note, then started to play that part of the exercise piece. I stopped myself from being nervous approaching the high E, heard it in my head first, and hit it spot on. I was so excited I stopped playing and went, "YESSSS!" I don't even care that I looked like a dork.

Jeff pulled out the Handel piece and told me to start playing. I pointed to a couple of sections and told him I have never played them correctly. He thought for a second and said, "Let's try something." When playing the saxophone, there can be more than one way to play a particular note, even though the fingering may be very different from what would normally be done. Jeff fingered some of the notes on the saxophone in a way they are not normally played at all. "Now, I want you to listen, and I want you to make the same note I do." He would play the note, I would play it, too. It went on like this for about 5 minutes, and I truly did not understand what was going on.

He pointed to the part of the song that I have never played correctly. "Okay, now play that part."

I took a deep breath and played the entire part of the song without stumbling over the notes, it just came out, and it even sounded...good. I stopped playing and just kind of stared, completely flabbergasted. "Whoa," was all I could muster.

"We just played that whole section in overtones. You couldn't just go through the motions. You had to hear the notes, YOU had to make them, not the horn. I made you hear it without even realizing it. See? It was there."

I told Jeff that I do picture and hear it before I play, but I picture doing it wrong, and then sure enough, I do it wrong. He smiled and shrugged, "Well, don't do that."

Today I got ready to practice and I warmed up with a couple of Jeff's goofy exercises. I played the Handel piece through a couple of times, and sure I messed up in a couple of spots, but I decided not to be impatient with myself and just keep going. Whatever voodoo Jeff performed worked; I played the whole song better than ever today. I had a big damn grin on my face the whole time, too. Perhaps I won't stay the same.

I'm very used to the "nagging" overtones in my head being a bit negative, impatient, or doubtful. Whether it's about weight loss, playing my saxophone, kickboxing, or whatever, I feel like every positive thought has a slight counter of, "But what if you're wrong, what if you mess up?" Maybe overtones don't always have to be negative. Sometimes that mental block, those unidentifiable notes, just need to be imagined in order to be. Once imagined, they are created, and they are there. My fit body, just like a beautiful piece of music, is already there. All I have to do is picture it and it will happen, even if it takes a little bit of patience.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZOOKEEPERMAMA 8/13/2011 12:18AM

    I love this! Visualization is an awesome tool. I should use it more often in a goal oriented way as opposed to an "I'm not there yet" kind of way... If that makes any sense...

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    I love hearing about your sax lessons! My old clarinet professor would soo have made that comment, "Don't do that." He even would even go as far as saying, "Stop sounding bad." Then, poof, I would sound better. Ridiculous? Yes. (And yeah, he was kind of jerk) But it reminds us that maybe sometimes things aren't as complex as we make them out to be.

Oh, and I am totally going to play my clarinet this weekend! Woot! I start rehearsing with the community band in the beginning of September so I guess I better figure out how to hold an embouchure for longer than 5 minutes. Ha.

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RUNNER12COM 8/12/2011 3:08PM

    He smiled and shrugged, "Well, don't do that."

Smart guy. You should listen more to him and less to that little voice in your head.


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HIPPICHICK1 8/12/2011 11:20AM

    Patience and persistence pays off! Great blog!!

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LISADAVIDSON68 8/12/2011 10:07AM

    We are our own worst enemy, aren't we? Some things just take time. I am such an impatient person! I feel like the Veruca Salt in Willy Wonka. "I want it NOW"!!


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ANDREA409 8/12/2011 10:03AM

    Jeff sounds awesome!

I agree - if you can see it, you can be it and all that jazz. You'll totally get there. It's all a matter of ignoring those demons that crop up from time to time. They do nothing but hold us back.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KRAWRS 8/12/2011 9:24AM

    Beautiful, beautiful blog. I think this is worth sharing. We all have nagging, doubtful thoughts at some point... I like what you said about it though. "My fit body, just like a beautiful piece of music, is already there. All I have to do is picture it and it will happen, even if it takes a little bit of patience." Wonderful!

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FANGFACEKITTY 8/12/2011 9:00AM

I love the Handel sonatas.

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MSPLACEDAGAIN 8/12/2011 8:44AM

    This is really nice and inspiring! I could use a perspective shift myself, so thanks!

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JSPEED4 8/12/2011 6:25AM

    Nice. But--I want to SEE you grin and play that Handel piece on a saxophone AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!! emoticon

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AMZY68 8/12/2011 4:35AM

    Well done on getting the information and motivation you need to reach your goals. Just remember to believe you CAN do it and you will. I know its hard but just be patient and you'll get there.

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1HAPPYWOMAN 8/12/2011 1:40AM

    So you've got the weight loss stuff down; that's going swimmingly. And as for the exercise, you're a SUPERSTAR!
Your hard work now is on the mental and emotional stuff, and thanks for doing such a wonderful job of sharing what you're going through.
Many people are able to effect physical changes, but often those changes don't last..... But the kind of deep changes you are working on, the hard core cognitive shifts, the unravelling of deeply held beliefs will surely pave the way for lasting change. I salute your hard work and commitment!!!!

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ABB698 8/12/2011 1:02AM


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Nerdrageous Blog!: Understanding Metabolic Flexibility

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

When I was in my kinesiology courses, I spent hours reading journal article after journal article about why exercise (especially strength training) is important for weight loss and preventing weight gain. Then, one of my professors asked me if I had ever heard of metabolic flexibility. He is a physician and has done some research in metabolic flexibility and obesity. We had a long discussion about it and I asked him how he thought metabolic flexibility may be involved in weight loss. Metabolic flexibility is a major aspect in the physiology of weight loss and maintaining a healthy body weight because it shows how efficient the body can be when it receives proper exercise and food sources. Understanding metabolic flexibility helps explain why calorie deprivation alone is usually insufficient for weight loss--and in particular for weight maintenance. The changes (or "adaptations") brought about by exercise help reduce inflammation that leads to metabolic inflexibility. The topic of metabolic flexibility is so massive that a little tiny blog can't cover everything, but I hope I can explain the basics, as metabolic flexibility has been the basis of my weight loss (or body composition change) plan. I will also post some other blogs about metabolic flexibility and how I've set up my exercise and diet plan around it. I find I have difficulty writing about physiology stuff without being uber-technical, but it will be good practice for when I am a trainer.

"Metabolic flexibility" may sound like a sexy term, but the American Physiological Society defines metabolic flexibility as the following:
"Metabolic flexibility is the capacity for the organism to adapt fuel oxidation to fuel availability" (from
). What an eyeful! For the rest of us, this translate to how efficiently the body switches between using carbohydrates or fats for fuel. I decided to approach weight loss like any other event and developed a "training plan" with metabolic flexibility in mind. Increasing metabolic flexibility is good for everyone; even someone who has never been overweight benefits from having increased metabolic flexibility, as it makes it much less likely that the body will store fat. The body is less prone to inflammation when there is a high degree of metabolic flexibility.

Creating increased metabolic flexibility ultimately makes it more likely that the weight will stay off in the long run, because the body's energy systems become so much more efficient. I've talked about a lot of technical terms, but ultimately, what I've been talking about describes the reason why slow weight loss is better and strength training helps us lose weight (even though it is unlikely to cause major calorie burn during the workout itself).

Metabolic flexibility helps explain why calorie deprivation alone is not sufficient for sustainable weight loss. The body NEEDS the proper fuel in order to burn fat effectively. Carbohydrates are important because they cause an insulin spike that allows glucose to enter muscle cells and be efficiently utilized for fuel. The muscles also store more glycogen for future energy use. Glycogen helps provide energy during endurance-type workouts. This is the basis of why we have to make sure we are eating enough, especially with regards to exercise. In general, I try to avoid having more than a 500 calorie deficit between diet and exercise.

For example, last week I burned about 6,000 calories. Now had I eaten, say, 1,500 calories a day, I would have been exhausted. Instead, I ate at least 2,200 calories per day, more on heavier workouts days, so as not to have more than a 500 calorie deficit on most days. Common sense would say that I should have left the 6,000 calorie deficit and lost almost 2 pounds...well, I ate heartily every day and lost 3 pounds. My eating and workout routine were similar the week before and I lost 0.5 pounds (and I'm happy because that averages out to 2 pounds per week over the past 2 weeks). My body will have different adaptations from week to week, so of course my losses won't always be the same, even when I'm doing the same thing. This has been how I've been eating throughout this 40 pound loss. I've certainly had ups and downs on the scale, and I'm sure my eating plan will need tweaking from time to time, but I don't make major adjustments unless there are gains for several weeks.

In addition to the fuel from nutritious foods, the body needs the adaptations brought about by a varied exercise plan. Burning calories through aerobic activity is not the be-all and end-all of losing weight. This is where strength training comes into play. The adaptations in the body caused by strength training combined with varied aerobic activity increases the number of mitochondria (or "little powerhouses") in the muscles, which increases the rate of oxygen use. Increasing muscle mitochondria increases metabolic flexibility because the body can utilize more oxygen for energy.

Mighty Mitochondria! Image from

Insulin is the hormone that "chooses" whether fats or carbohydrates will be used for fuel. Consistently high insulin levels tend to cause fight storage and inefficient use of fat for fuel. Increasing lean mass (i.e. muscle mass) and increasing aerobic capacity (i.e. more muscle mitochondria from aerobic exercise and strength training) increases insulin sensitivity and keeps insulin levels lower, thus increasing fat-burning (yes!). Once this machine is set in motion through good diet, strength training with heavy weights, and aerobic exercise, weight loss tends to go more smoothly and long-term weight maintenance is much more likely.

A lack of metabolic flexibility may eventually lead to "metabolic syndrome," which may lead to diseases such as diabetes because insulin is not being utilized properly. The body responds better to insulin when there is a high degree of metabolic flexibility, and it appears the being metabolically flexible leads to decreased incidence of insulin resistance. Diabetics usually start to use insulin more efficiently with weight loss, and especially with the adaptations brought about by exercise.

This blog is the short, short version, but I will probably post some more blogs about metabolic flexibility and what I'm doing to try to increase metabolic flexibility through diet and exercise. I found it helpful to learn about metabolic flexibility since diabetes runs in my family and I have fought off diabetes in the past. I need to stay on the right track to prevent insulin resistance and diabetes, and learning ways to increase metabolic flexibility will hopefully keep diabetes at bay and lead to decreased body fat and increased lean mass.


For an ultra-Nerdrageous explanation of Metabolic flexibility, see this article:

Article on metabolic flexibility and insulin resistance/diabetes:

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CANNIE50 8/14/2011 8:01PM

    I am here, catching up on all your amazing blogs, and thinking "wow - what an amazing woman". Seriously, your fierce intellect, physical strength, musical talent, your ability to write so beautifully....I could go on and on, but you get the point. I think this blog should be required reading for anyone who wants to transform their body. I feel so naggy when I am constantly reminding people who are struggling: "eat more, esp protein - lift weights - focus on strength, not on being thin". Of course, I have my own struggles but I know for me that mixing up my caloric intake and varying my exercising in terms of time, activity, and intensity, has been key to losing 30 lbs so far. I am currently maintaining at 30 lbs lost and looking at the next 20, knowing I need to make some more changes. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. I always look forward to your blogs (and somehow became unsubscribed but I have remedied that). emoticon

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ANDREA409 8/12/2011 10:08AM

    Very well said!! Btw, I can't even handle that adorable mitochondrion up there.

I used to exercise a ton and eat 1300 calories. What happened? It blew out my adrenal glands. I'm just not a fan of the typical weight-loss/diet advice. That's not to say it won't work for some, but it was disastrous for me. I'll never do it again.

Now I no longer track my calories. I eat until my body tells me I've had enough. I suspect if I had done this a year ago, I wouldn't be in the place I am now. But, hey, you live, you learn, right?

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    Smaaaaaart! This makes so much sense to me...I now know that sometimes when I wasn't losing weight it was because I was eating too little...which is crazy to me, but apparently true.

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PAMELA6289 8/10/2011 5:56PM

  My favorite Part: "I find I have difficulty writing about physiology stuff without being uber-technical, but it will be good practice for when I am a trainer. "

I want you to be MY trainer!

You are going to be AMAZING!!! Because you've been there and you get it.

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KKINNEA 8/10/2011 1:38PM

    I think this explains something for me. So I should strive to balance my daily calories in vs daily calories burned to no more than a 500 calorie gap? I'll have to try this...

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HIPPICHICK1 8/10/2011 1:07PM

    Most interesting!

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ZOOKEEPERMAMA 8/10/2011 12:32PM

    Wow! Awesome! Thanks for this!

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    Interesting. Thank you for posting. My biology is pretty shaky; and I found that I was still able to get the general concept of the blog. I think you did a great job explaining this topic without getting too technical.


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WORDLILY 8/9/2011 10:08PM

    I find this fascinating. You touch on how metabolic flexibility and diabetes relate, but what about hypoglycemia?

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SALEE100 8/9/2011 6:15PM

    So, is it true to say that the normal weight-loss math doesn't work? If you're losing 2 pounds per week with only a 500 calorie deficit, when all the articles say that it requires 3,500 calories to burn a pound off, then the articles are wrong. It's fascinating, I know the math doesn't work for me most of the time... I try not to go over a 500 calorie deficit because I get so hungry and end up going in the other direction, getting surpluses, on the next day. It's nice to know that there are other reasons not to over that deficit.

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SMILINGTREE 8/9/2011 4:50PM

    So, where do body weight exercises fit into the puzzle? I don't have a gym membership or a set of weights (yet) so most of my ST comes in the form of circuit-type work outs that utilized body weight. I noted that you said "strength training with heavy weights."

Also, it would be very cool if there were someone who could sit down with those of us less educated and figure out a good plan...for a small fee of course :) Even if it were through email correspondence, figuring out a good individual plan would be helpful to lots of us who are sort of banging around in the dark with this kind of stuff.

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CHRISTINA791 8/9/2011 4:18PM

    Very interesting, and it makes sense.

Exercise is such an important part of the puzzle for me. Weight loss aside, I'm amazed at the changes in my body and health since I've been active. In less than a year I've gone from an out of control diabetic and poster child for metabolic syndrome to having a body that works the way it's supposed to. I see it in my test results, visible changes, and mostly in how I feel. My endocrinologist once told me that I'd be on insulin for life, and I've never been happier to prove someone wrong.

I know these results wouldn't have happened with a fad diet or medication. In fact, I can't imagine not being active anymore - it just feels right.

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MADLILA 8/9/2011 3:49PM

    Thanks for posting this. It does explain a lot! I'm passing it around to a few friends and family!


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SMURFY_47 8/9/2011 3:37PM

    i'm glad what i told a friend yesterday has scientific basis to back me up!! will be sharing this post with her. :)

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SYZYGY922 8/9/2011 3:31PM

    Cool, thanks for posting. I have insulin resistance (it runs in my family for whatever reason).

I knew that strength training was good for me (even though it's not my favorite thing in the world of exercise to do) but I didn't know a lot of WHY. Thanks.

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1LATTE4ME 8/9/2011 3:21PM

    Fascinating - thanks for posting! I always wondered why on weeks I exercised more, I ate more - and still lost weight.

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Monday, August 08, 2011

My week-long staycation starts TODAY! Actually, I just got home from work, and I am super wired with excitement over an entire week off without having to think about work. Here is my plan:

Image from

Okay, maybe that is not entirely accurate. I'm too much of a spaz of a human being to TRULY do nothing, but I love the idea of having a whole week of doing whatever I want whenever I want. Other than my saxophone lesson on Tuesday, I have no structured plans. Here are my plans for my staycation, in no particular order:

1) Clean house.
2) Clean yard (yikes!).
3) Have a movie/T.V. day (and probably order pizza from my favorite pizza joint).
4) Practice my sax at least an hour a day.
5) Go to kickboxing at least twice.
6) Do active things with friends (walks, bike rides, etc.).
7) Go to the beach at least once.
8) Go to the Saint Paul Irish Fair next weekend (my mother is a performer!).
9) FINALLY post some Nerdrageous Blog! entries.
10) Read, read, and read some more.

Other than that, there will be lots of down time, and I will just fill in the time however I please. I know how spoiled I am to live by myself and get to do whatever I want, but I promise to at least get off my ass.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMELA6289 8/10/2011 5:52PM

  Have fun, sweetie! XOXO

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1HAPPYWOMAN 8/9/2011 1:54AM

    Oooh, bask in the bliss! Staycations are the best....all the rest, but none of the stress of a travel vacation!

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ABB698 8/9/2011 1:37AM

    Well that sounds like a FABULOUS staycation! Enjoy every, well deserved minute of if, and just make sure to keep your ass well fed and clean.... emoticon

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HIKINGSD 8/8/2011 7:57PM

    Great goals! Enjoy your vaca :)

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REDSKINGIRL 8/8/2011 2:14PM

    Have a great week off!!

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HIPPICHICK1 8/8/2011 12:22PM

    Sounds like great plan!!
Wishing a wonderful staycation!

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EMRANA 8/8/2011 12:15PM

  mmmmmmmmm ~ savor every moment! Those are the best kind of vacations in my world ~ either staycations or spiritual retreats. My kitties love having someone to snuggle with all day and I love doing the snuggling!



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PRANA_DANCER 8/8/2011 10:18AM

    I have scheduled a staycation for later this month and much of it will be errands, chores and packing.

Also, when will your mother be performing? I'll have to make sure I'll see her. Maybe I'll even see you there!

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GINGERRA1980 8/8/2011 9:56AM

    well deserved I say!!! emoticon

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BECKYSRN 8/8/2011 9:50AM

    Sounds fun! Sometimes staycations are the best thing to do. Have a great week.

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LISADAVIDSON68 8/8/2011 9:32AM

    Enjoy your time off!!

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BILL60 8/8/2011 8:42AM

    Have a super time!!

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GEMINIAN1 8/8/2011 8:31AM

    emoticon it's finally here!!!
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    Sometimes those are the absolute best vacations. Enjoy!

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BECKY3774 8/8/2011 6:52AM

    Enjoy yourself!!!

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SKYRUNHER 8/8/2011 6:16AM

    sounds like heaven to me!

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APED7969 8/8/2011 4:59AM

    Have fun!

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    Enjoy your staycation!

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The Week in Review: Undressing at Kickboxing

Sunday, August 07, 2011

There have been some twinges of impatience this week with returning to kickboxing. I just feel so fat and out of shape being around the very fit fighters at my gym, as much as I try to convince myself that I belong there as much as they do. Even though I've lost nearly 40 pounds as of this week, I felt fat and gross. I almost wanted to cry one day after leaving the gym. Nobody was mean to me, nothing was just those thoughts creeping in: "I never should have gained the weight back." "Of course you're embarrassed, just look at you." "I want to be at my goal weight right NOW."

I know these thoughts are not true. I know they are unreasonable. But it kind of goes to show how joy may not be the only feeling as the scale goes down.

It's funny how we can see the number on the scale go down, yet be a bit oblivious to the changes in our bodies. It seems like one day clothing is super tight, and the next, it's practically falling off. I have been wearing the same workout pants since I started this journey almost 40 pounds ago. This week, during kickboxing, my pants actually started to fall off. Needless to say, trying to pull up your pants while wearing big bulky boxing gloves is neither graceful nor discrete. It got to the point where I just had to giggle at myself during class as I fought harder to keep my pants on than I was fighting with my opponent. I looked in the mirror at the gym, and saw how really baggy my pants are. So I bought a new pair of shorts (yes, shorts) this week. Hopefully then I'll just show off my mad kicking skills, and not my ass.

I can either choose to acknowledge and accept the changes in my body, or I can wait for my clothes to fall off before I realize what is happening. I know that, in the long run, it does not matter that I weigh 258 pounds right now. When I walked into my kickboxing gym again in February, I weighed over 290 pounds. For some reason, this week I had felt as though I hadn't gotten anywhere. All I have to do is put on those huge pants and remember that they were form-fitting a few months ago. I also have to remember that next summer, at this time, I will probably be near or at my goal weight. My routine will be no different than it is now, and I have to remember that I am just as valid an athlete now as I will be then.

On a more cheerful note, my week-long staycation starts tomorrow. There will be a lot of kickboxing and working out going on. I will do my best to keep my pants on...but I can't make any big promises.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CANNIE50 8/14/2011 8:13PM

    emoticon Hey Miss Baggy Pants: I know how you feel. There are days I feel so gratified about the 30 lbs I have dropped so far, and I feel so much lighter and healthier and then, there are days I feel gross and just want to be done already. The difference between the two feelings - just my perception and my attitude, mostly. emoticon I am off to catch up on more of your wonderful blogs.

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PAMELA6289 8/10/2011 5:50PM

  I still have days where I'm fighting those negative thoughts! They really suck and they're mean. I think for me, it was a habit I had fallen into very early in my life, not feeling 'good enough' and being impatient with wanting to get 'there'

Who knows where 'there' is?

Anyway, losing the weight is just the beginning of the process. And I know you know this.

I celebrate your 40lb loss, your realization that you were beating yourself up, and the purchase of new shorts! Yay you!

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KOKOEK9 8/7/2011 10:38PM

    I QUIT BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF NOBODY ELSE IS. so you feel fat love you you must see yourself in a positive light. find the good in every bad thing. heres a craft project. find a picture of a women with the body you would like to have and a picture of yourself at the weight you would like to return to tear off the head from your picture and put it on the body you would like. put that where you will see it many times a day that is your goal I know you will make it

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FANGFACEKITTY 8/7/2011 10:31PM

    emoticon Go you! emoticon

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    Congratulations on your weight loss! You're doing great.

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EMRANA 8/7/2011 11:42AM

  Oh honey, I know all about that feeling! The one where you suddenly turn on yourself and forget all the progress for a few moments. So the universe said, okay, let's get through to her, we'll make her pants fall down! I have to smile when I look at it from that perspective. emoticon

You will get there, I'm sure of that. The kickboxing is going to really spark (no pun intended) your progress too!


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ERLYWA 8/7/2011 10:50AM

    I am SO HAPPY that you had that experience with your pants, so that you could be reminded in a very real way of the awesome progress you have made! :)

Hang in there, you are doing great!! emoticon

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    You are doing awesome! Keep up the great work! If you enjoy kickboxing, you belong there! Don't think otherwise!

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TAICHIDANCER 8/7/2011 8:36AM

    When I'm at my heaviest, I have this way of looking in the mirror where I don't really see how fat I am (I don't know what I'm looking at because it is ALL pretty fat at that point). But once I start to loose some weight and have a little success, suddenly I start really looking at my body and I notice the bulges that I didn't before. Then I start to think "I'm so fat" and then that transitions into "How did I let myself get so fat" and before you know it I'm down on myself and depressed precisely because I have made progress and am turning things around.

Clearly this is crazy, right? So ... I'll stop it if you will.

In the meantime, keep up the good work and have fun with your pants on or off.

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WHIPPEACHZ 8/7/2011 8:11AM

    I also have a hard time acknowledging my efforts at times. The other day I walked past a full length mirror in a store (I have none at home), and had to back up and look again... I couldn't believe I had missed the changes. Great Job your doing... it is definitely time to acknowledge that all that hard work is paying off. The weight will come off, just keep your pants on... or


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BILL60 8/7/2011 8:01AM

    Hang in there. If they fall off, they fall off. Congrats on your progress. Keep it up.


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MARVEEME 8/7/2011 8:00AM

    YIPPEE! You have officially earned the title of "Miss Droopy Drawers"! This is awesome, and save those big pants to show off in your "after" pictures, for sure!

The Salvation Army has been a friend to many during the shrinking process, as interim sizes can get expensive if you're always buying brand new.

Enjoy your staycation, and keep up the good work. We're all very proud of your progress. Take a minute to go to the nearest mirror, and tell that girl just how awesome she is, willya?

Many blessings!

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KKINNEA 8/7/2011 7:17AM

    Here's the next pair of pants becoming the new baggy standard!

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AMZY68 8/7/2011 5:59AM

    I'm pretty active and go to the gym a lot so I'm a lot fitter than I used to be. When I see people at the gym, whatever their size or fitness level I'd never think anything negative - I'd be thinking good on them for having goals and choosing to do something good for their health! Sorry to hear about the awkward pants situation haha but WELL DONE for working so hard.
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WOLF648 8/7/2011 5:14AM


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APED7969 8/7/2011 2:39AM

    I am also very impatient! I regularly feel like I haven't accomplished anything which is why I take my monthly progress photos and regular checks of clothes that were formerly too tight. Great feeling to have loose pants on :-) Enjoy you're well earned week off!

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ABB698 8/7/2011 2:07AM

    emoticonPants on the ground, pants on the ground, we all celebrate when our pants fall on the ground! emoticon
Enjoy your staycation!

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A toast to good days...

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Today was a day of fun, a day of good teachers, and a day of working out until I almost vomited. Funny, that's when I get the biggest grin on my face...

I had today off of work, and I had a great day. I started the day with a 15 minute Pilates session. What a great way to wake up! Then I practiced my saxophone for about an hour, then had my lesson. Since I'm starting to get to know my teacher better, I'm a little less uptight around him now. We joked around a lot today and my playing wasn't too gawd-awful. He seemed pleased with my playing today, and hopefully he could tell I had been practicing a lot this past week.

And then, I went to my first kickboxing class in well over a year. I was trying to remember the last time I was able to do kickboxing, and I believe it was in February of 2010. Needless to say, it's been a while. Since my main trainer is getting ready for his fight this upcoming Saturday, the instructor tonight was one of my other favorite teachers, Team U.S.A. Kickboxing coach Justin Whiley. I have always liked his teaching style--just the right amount of challenge while at the same time never overdoing it. He'll be running classes more often now, so I'll have the opportunity to learn from him and hopefully improve my kicking and punching.

Team U.S.A. Kickboxing coach Justin Whiley. Image from

I'm not going to lie, I was a little nervous about going to the class. What if I look stupid? What if everyone thinks I'm fat? What if no one will be my partner? What if I've totally forgotten how to kick? It really was ridiculous. I steered myself towards the beginners since I was just coming back, but Justin tapped me on the shoulder, shook his head, and pointed me to the other end of the mat with the advanced people. I paired up with a guy, which was nice since some of the women at the gym are very clique-y. We had a great workout, and I kept up okay until we did sequential kicks, which my leg just wouldn't tolerate. That's okay; I was very happy to be able to get through the whole hour. The gym was like a sauna, though--so I don't think I did too bad for working out in the 90 degree heat! And nothing works really deeply into my abs like kickboxing--I could feel it the day after my kickboxing workout earlier this week, and I'm sure I will feel it tomorrow. Hopefully soon I will be able to SEE it...

Now I am beat--time for a date with a recliner, the T.V., kitties, and a big bowl of popcorn drizzled with olive oil. What a day!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMELA6289 8/3/2011 7:15PM

  YAY! It's always tough to not listen to your inner critic when you get back to something, but you overcame it and Justin saw through your silliness!

Hope you're feeling just as good today!

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GEMINIAN1 8/3/2011 1:24PM

    Good news; good news.
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DARKTHOR 8/3/2011 9:52AM

    Awesome job!

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EMRANA 8/3/2011 9:04AM

  YAY!!!! Sounds like a glorious re-introduction to your favorite sport. I love that the coach wouldn't let you join the beginners. emoticon


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BECKY3774 8/3/2011 6:41AM

    Now I want to try kickboxing! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ABB698 8/3/2011 2:41AM

    I love that Justin didn't let you act like a beginner. Hope your popcorn was yummy emoticon

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1HAPPYWOMAN 8/3/2011 12:08AM

    You are my hero! Yes you are! I hope someday I can be half the badass you are!

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EVERSTEPH 8/2/2011 10:47PM

    Incredible! Can't wait to hear more about it!

I love the [air] speedbags. emoticon I can be clumsy so it's no surprise that I start going so fast that I almost deck myself! emoticon

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ESILBO 8/2/2011 10:29PM



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    Wow! Awesome workout! Kickboxing intimidates me, but it sounds interesting. Good job! emoticon

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