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My knee and my life

Saturday, April 16, 2011



You will never know how gratified I was to be the Motivator of the Day the other day. (Seriously? Have they run out of people?) emoticon I am such a mess right now that I don't know how I could be motivating anyone else.

2011 opened with a disappointing trip to Walt Disneyworld - not completing a race for the first time ever, followed by pneumonia, strep throat, a stress fracture, and now a torn meniscus and a torn ACL. Sheesh! It's only April! emoticon

So I'm now hobbling around in the nifty contraption pictured above. It isn't pretty; I look like a morbidly obese transformer and move like a constipated Godzilla. I call it my "man magnet" because it's attracting them like Winnie the Pooh to "hunny". They all approach me, stare at it a while, and then ask me about the injury. And you should see the look on their faces when I tell them that I did it doing the meringue at Arthur Murray! It's almost worth it!

Ok, no it's not. Still, it's weird that men never used to chat me up the way they do now.

Anyway, here's the part that's making this stressful: I am supposed to change jobs next month. I'm a project manager, currently working in Lebanon, and I'm headed for Afghanistan. The Afghanistan job requires me to wear 40 lbs. of body armour, travel by helicopter, jump off the back of trucks, etc. Take another peek at the contraption up above. Sooo not going to happen.

The company shirts want me to just wear the brace and tough things out, because surgery would mess with my transfer timing. It's been weeks now, and I'm tired of being in pain all the time. Also, I can barely move and can't really exercise, which is not a good long term plan. And forget my passion for racing - that will never happen in the current circumstances.

Surgery ... I'd like to do it here in Beirut. It's going to be tricky to finish the assignment, but at least I won't have to use up everything I've banked. I could go to the U.S. but surgery there is more expensive, and I'd have to leave right away. It's awkward, because I'm not done working and there would be lots of hectic loose ends to tie up. London is also an option. It's where I had my last surgery, but it's the priciest way to go.

I also have to figure out what to do with MacDuff. I won't be able to care for him for a couple of weeks afterwards. I live three floors up, and I don't know how I'll get up there after surgery, but I hope I can impose on friends for MacDuff, and I'm being extra special nice to cranky chap who lives on the ground floor and has a guest room ....

I *think* the plan is that I'm going to have surgery in Beirut as soon as I can, tough out the aftermath, start physio, and then try to continue it when I'm in training in America so that I can get to Afghanistan on schedule, or near to it. There are a lot of variables in that plan. I don't even know if the Afghan job will take me in this condition, but I can't stand having my whole life up in the air. I am a slow healer, but living in pain all the time isn't a good long-term plan.

So to recap: I need to move in a few weeks, but I don't know where, because I'm not sure I still have that job, but I can't remain here, and I'm going to try to take care of my knee on three different continents because I can't stay anywhere for more than a few weeks.

What's anchoring me? I am determined - absolutely determined - to lose weight this year, and I need to rehab this knee to do that. I appreciate my sparkfriends' support. I keep reminding myself to keep my perspective. This is stressful, but it's temporary. Sooner or later, I will know for sure where I'm headed and what I will be doing to earn MacDuff's kibbles. And at least I have knees to fuss over. And best of all? Getting this squared away, means I get to race again! emoticon

emoticon Wish me luck!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOTSLADY 6/12/2011 9:00AM

    Man, where've "I" been?! So much to catch up on ... with that derned knee...
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NIGHTSKYSTAR 6/11/2011 4:28PM

    HOW did i miss this post!!!! when you said you were doing a blog today, i went right there and there it was, but NO alert in email. my huge apologies i hope you know i would have commented on this IMMEDIATELY had i known it was here!!
I have a peacock blue brace. its pretty...pretty AWFUL!!! i have no meniscus left in my right leg.
You need my doc. He believes in quick rehab. he likes you to walk out of the hospital if you are able. and i have to say his surgery was the quickest i recovered from, due to using my knee right away. hes great. I'm sure yours is too!!

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MDMNINA 4/28/2011 1:50PM

    You have to take care of yourself. To heck with what the company wants. You need to do what is best for you!

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MAMABEARLICIOUS 4/19/2011 10:59PM

    i hope everything works out with your knee and where ever in the world you end up..... you and macDuff are there together !! westies are the best care givers !!

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MAPLELEAFMOM 4/19/2011 5:35PM

    emoticon OMG Cat you have ALOT going on right now!! I think your plan for getting the knee fixed right away is a great one! I hope that everything just falls into place once you make a decision and set a date. If I was closer, I would definitely take MacDuff for a few weeks - who wouldn't want to spend time with a cute Westie !!

Keep us posted on how things go and know that you have people all over the world sending positive thoughts your way emoticon emoticon

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FUNFROG79 4/19/2011 10:29AM

    I had to wear the same thing after my second knee surgery!! I feel your pain! emoticon

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SHORTTOOTH1 4/19/2011 8:38AM

    Wow! You have so much going on. Although your attitude is completely in the right place. Keep up all the great work.

Also, I have a pretty good idea why they picked you. I would emoticon

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RAVEN1025 4/18/2011 10:33PM

    I am crossing my fingers for you and hoping that the timing of everything works out. I hope you can get your knee taken care of ASAP so that you can start healing.
Much love to you!

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MSEMBERSTORM 4/18/2011 9:18PM

    Cat you are amazing. Hope you get it fixed soon and all the stuff works out for you. I'm here for you! Wish you were local and I would be glad to help out. You deserve to not have to suffer with the pain any longer. Fixing it looks like your best option. You can do this!

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FLORIDAFAN 4/18/2011 7:48PM

    Cat get that Knee fixed! Heck come to PA and do it, I will deliver WaWA and TastyKakes....LOL......might now be the best thing, but its the best I can come up with. Plus with a good knee you can consider another Princess....its all about me isnt it....LOL!

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NEWNAC304 4/18/2011 3:21PM

    I'm sorry you have so many decisions to make on top of being in pain. Do what's best for you. Good luck!

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50FITNFUN 4/18/2011 1:46PM

    Cat, I can only imagine the pain and frustration you are going through with your knee, your job, and every decision that is tied to both. All I can definitively tell you, is that unless your body is up to snuff, the only thing that will come from putting off fixing your knee is more pain and the greater likelihood that you will never race again. Add to that, the increased probability that you will damage your knee further whilst jumping from a vehicle wearing 40 extra pounds of body armour. Then what do you think the company suits will do? Make the decision that you feel most comfortable with; the one that suits Cat's needs, not necessarily the company's bottom line.

No matter what, we all wish you the best and I think it's clear from the posts that you are surrounded by the love of friends who will be here for you through it all. emoticon emoticon

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SIXFULLERS 4/18/2011 1:34PM

    Cat - no matter what lies in front of you, your friends are beside you - here to help. Good luck with the knee (the brace as a man-attractor - hmmmm....)

You are remarkable. I'm sure you'll be race planning again here in no time (from Afghanistan no less).

j. :)

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DEBULACLARK 4/18/2011 9:52AM

    CAT! I wish I could help you out. I'd take MacDuff in a minute. I'd even let you crash here to recuperate! I'm so sorry everything's up in the air. It seems like you are working it out in your head though...and SHAME on the company shirts who don't want you to fix yourself...that's TERRIBLE. emoticon

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ENDUROVET 4/18/2011 8:51AM

    Well, I always think that (needed) surgery is better sooner than later!

I'm going to have to reluctantly schedule an appt w/my sports med dr for MY L knee - a few days ago I once again found myself lying in humiliation in the dust of my barn floor when I tripped up & fell once AGAIN... I can't believe I've just gotten that much clumsier!

I also miss planning for races more than I ever thought possible (the forbidden fruit?!?) but can only hope that I'll be able to work my way back to 5 & 10K's.

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QUEMBEL1 4/18/2011 7:49AM

    Cat, you will be back into your spy suit in no time. The company wants you to tough it out! Take care of yourself first.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CJBAGGINS 4/18/2011 1:05AM

    Lots of luck!

Man. Tough decisions. Sorry I can't help you make them, or make it easier in some way. Know that we care and that we're rooting for you, no matter what happens and where you end up.

cj

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CHRISPYLEE 4/18/2011 12:33AM

    LUCK!!!!!!
emoticon

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DISPATCHER04 4/17/2011 11:05PM

    ((hugs)) I'm sorry you're hurting and down for now.

I have full confidence that you will bounce back better than ever. You're irrepressible! emoticon

Funny about the man-attractor brace. When I was pregnant, men swarmed around me. It was funny!

Love ya, girl! :)

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MELISSAJUSTINA 4/17/2011 11:02PM

    Wow good luck with everything Cat! Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. But taking care of your knee is very important. Congrats on MOD! Great job...

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SUETINGE 4/17/2011 5:42PM

    Wow Cat, that's a lot for anyone to handle at one time. If anyone can handle all of it, you can. You are an amazingly strong woman.



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MBUICE 4/17/2011 9:37AM

    Cat, it's the fact that you're still in the fight while you're life is in chaos that motivates me. I remember when you left for Lebanon, you're amazing, and I know you'll get it figured out.

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MRSCRITTERS 4/17/2011 8:46AM

    Wow you have so much going on emoticon

Hopefully you can sort your knee out and be in less pain, that would be a good start to things, then hopefully everything else will fall in to place

Good luck

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AMUNET_RA 4/17/2011 7:11AM

    ((HUGS)) I wish you were here and I could take care of you and MacDuff (and the sugery would be free). Hope your friends in Beruit pull through for you...maybe the cranky chap with guest room will be a surprise hero in all of this!

~~B

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BRAVAH 4/17/2011 4:05AM

    Wow!

Cat, I'm sending you all the love and support I can muster. I really hope that you find a solution to each aspect of this - from Macduff's care to a ground floor respite while you heal. If I were anywhere near, I would take Macduff for you.

Congrats on Motivator of the Day!!! I've been shocked when I've received it, but then I realize that it takes a certain number of people clicking on your page that you motivate them... that last person can click even when you're not feeling particularly motivated yourself, lol. But you deserve it! You make teams and motivate people to get moving! You are an inspiration to me and to many others!!!

As for the surgery itself, I agree... do it and start rehabbing to feel better. Pain is not fun - especially since it sounds like there will have to be a surgery in the future at some point - you might as well do it now, as opposed to later! And you're totally right about not being able to jump out of a truck wearing 40 pounds of body armour with your knee in the shape it is at the moment!!!

So, interesting that men see the knee brace as a chatting point. Maybe you should keep it after you are healed and use it when you go walking to get a little male attention, lol!

Good luck with yout potential job change. I know this knee thing is bad timing, but if it is meant to be, then you will still have the job. I have to say that the thought of being somewhere where I need 40 pounds of body armour is pretty daunting to me! You're a brave woman!!!

As for the racing, this will be a hiatus. But Physical Therapy can be good exercise. Hopefully whoever helps you after your surgery will be able to get good workouts for you and get you strong again quickly!

Keep us posted as to when and where you'll be having the surgery!

Love,
Heidi

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DRAMAMOMSUE 4/17/2011 2:46AM

  Hang in their... have you considered surgery in Singapore...you may want to research it. The medical care is wonderful here! emoticon

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DANIMITE2 4/16/2011 11:41PM

    I love you, and I'm sorry you're hurting. I wish you lived closer! I'd take care of you and MacDuff!

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ESBELL 4/16/2011 10:29PM

    Girl - this here blog is exactly why you is da MOD! you are an amazing woman. Every time I read all that you are going through, and still planning your races, I know that I am just making D-U-M-B excuses for not being out there hitting the pavement.

Best wishes for you and your fur-kid - I hope the job situation gets sorted out soon so you can get that knee fixed!

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JPONCIN 4/16/2011 10:18PM

    Having that surgery will be sooooo worth it. It's quite a predicament, but you are a strong woman and you will be tough through this.

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DISPATCH91 4/16/2011 10:09PM

    I am so sorry my sweet friend. That is what happened to knee #1 so I definately feel your pain. You need crutches to walk on afterwards. Another friend had their knee done and was on crutches and healed quicker than I did without them. Of course I had a sorry doctor and he did more damage than good. Check out your doctor before hand.

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WILDRICE99 4/16/2011 5:17PM

    WoW! Changing jobs would cause enough stress...

Hang in there, I know how strong you are. Let us know what you decide. I'll be thinking of you...

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SLCOLMAN 4/16/2011 4:46PM

    I really hope that you can figure out the best plan of attack in order to meet all of your goals! I know that with your determination that you will be successful!! Wishing you much luck!!

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KISHU1 4/16/2011 4:10PM

    I so feel for you and send positive thoughts and prayers your way...you are a strong person and you will get through this..and I am glad that you are going to go and have the surgery done..it is no good for you either physically or mentally to always be in such pain emoticon..and as was stated below, the sooner you have surgery, the sooner you will be able to heal and move forward with your life...you cant put yourself in harms way just to satisfy your company...jump out of a truck in your condition..what are they thinking..well they,re not..so put yourself first and do what is best for you!

Comment edited on: 4/16/2011 4:12:27 PM

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_LINDA 4/16/2011 3:03PM

    This blog you have written is showing just how motivating you are. Pushing through pain to get it done. Willing to work in such a high risk environment and making the absolute most of it that you can. The list goes on and on. I wish I could adopt you and make you a Canadian citizen so you could get your surgery for free. Or better yet, give you my health card and pretend you are me, as they are used to seeing my name in the hospital system lol.
I am so glad you are getting your knee fixed, you can't live like that. I am thinking your employers are pretty heartless. If they value you as a worker, they should be offering to PAY for your surgery, not tell you to suck it up. I would be giving them a piece of my mind with that comment..
I am with you in the slow healing department, but I wish for you, this once that it goes well and you heal fast for a change -just make sure your diet is well rounded and filled with good nutrients.
Sending healing and soothing thoughts your way,
Hugs,
Linda

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2NEWSTARTAGAIN 4/16/2011 2:52PM

    My prayers and thoughts will be with you through your tough decision. Your health and well being are the most important because without them a job would be useless. You are being VERY strong and you are a strong person

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FITTIFF2B 4/16/2011 2:38PM

    I am glad to hear you are going to go for the surgery I feel for you girl! You know what I have been through with my ankle. And now I am looking at surgery on my thumb. I feel like dang how much of my body can they fuse! But here is the thing. The sooner I do the thumb the less likely it will have to be as bad. The longer I wait the more bad things they will have do to. So sooner better!Same for you the sooner you get that knee taken care of the better you will be. You might even have many more years if running if you do it sooner rather than roughing it out!!!

AND you are a great motivator!!!!! Never put your self down like that! Youhave so much to give! I mean look at all you are going through and yet your are still determined to lose weight and get to your new assignment!
Keep up in touch! I will be thinking of you!

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BEAUTIFLDZSTR 4/16/2011 2:34PM

    emoticon

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Torn ACL - Nothing's Flying

Thursday, April 07, 2011



I've been in pain for a while. Five weeks ago, an x-ray showed a stress fracture. So I've been taking it easy, waiting for it to heal. but the knee is still really swollen and painful, so I got an MRI. The surgeon called.

Bad news. I have a ruptured ACL. I'm supposed to fly to North Carolina tonight for the Flying Pirate. When the surgeon first told me I had "damage" on the phone, i asked him if I could walk. He said yes.

We misunderstood each other. He meant that I could go from "here to there" but he freaked when he realized what I had in mind. I'm bummed, but if I'm honest, my leg hurts a lot, and 13 miles was going to take some doing. I feel so strong inside, but my body is betraying me more day by day. After the debacle in January, followed by this, my confidence is really shaken, and I wonder if my racing days are over.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITTIFF2B 4/16/2011 2:34PM

    I am glad to hear you are going to go for the surgery I feel for you girl! You know what I have been through with my ankle. And now I am looking at surgery on my thumb. I feel like dang how much of my body can they fuse! But here is the thing. The sooner I do the thumb the less likely it will have to be as bad. The longer I wait the more bad things they will have do to. So sooner better!Same for you the sooner you get that knee taken care of the better you will be. You might even have many more years if running if you do it sooner rather than roughing it out!!!

And you R a great motivator!!! Never put your self down like that!!! You have so much to give. I mean look at all you are going through and yet you are still determined to lose The weight!!! Keep in touch! We are here for you!!!

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FITTIFF2B 4/16/2011 2:33PM

    I am glad to hear you are going to go for the surgery I feel for you girl! You know what I have been through with my ankle. And now I am looking at surgery on my thumb. I feel like dang how much of my body can they fuse! But here is the thing. The sooner I do the thumb the less likely it will have to be as bad. The longer I wait the more bad things they will have do to. So sooner better!Same for you the sooner you get that knee taken care of the better you will be. You might even have many more years if running if you do it sooner rather than roughing it out!!!

And you R a great motivator!!! Never put your self down like that!!! You have so much to give. I mean look at all you are going through and yet you are still determined to lose The weight!!! Keep in touch! We are here for you!!!

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FITTIFF2B 4/16/2011 2:32PM

    I am glad to hear you are going to go for the surgery I feel for you girl! You know what I have been through with my ankle. And now I am looking at surgery on my thumb. I feel like dang how much of my body can they fuse! But here is the thing. The sooner I do the thumb the less likely it will have to be as bad. The longer I wait the more bad things they will have do to. So sooner better!Same for you the sooner you get that knee taken care of the better you will be. You might even have many more years if running if you do it sooner rather than roughing it out!!!

And you R a great motivator!!! Never put your self down like that!!! You have so much to give. I mean look at all you are going through and yet you are still determined to lose The weight!!! Keep in touch! We are here for you!!!

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MAPLELEAFMOM 4/15/2011 6:00PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon I am so sorry to hear this. I can somewhat relate to the 'will I run again?' thoughts! I had to cancel so many races last year due to my foot injuries and it is sooo hard to watch those races come and go with me not doing them. When you really want to run so bad and can't it just plain sucks! In fact I was supposed to do the Big Sur Marathon coming up in a couple of weeks :( It is sooo frustrating but we will get through this.

We WILL most definitely run again emoticon and darn it we will run again together once we are both healed up! As hard as it is, you have to rest up and heal. Keep us posted on how things go and I'm sending lots and lots and lots of healthy recovery thoughts and prayers your way emoticon

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DMSGLASS 4/14/2011 12:59PM

    It can be repaired, racing will just be on hold for a while. My husband tore his PCL last year, had surgery in June, was told it would be 9 to 12 months before full recovery and "at his age" (52!!) to expect it may take longer before he could run or play basketball again. (Tore it when he fell coaching Special Olympics basketball.) Well, I'm happy to say that it took only seven months for him to be able to slowly jog and make "cuts" as one would when rapidly changing directions on a basketball court! Don't give up!

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FITTIFF2B 4/11/2011 10:22PM

    Hi Cat! It is me TIFF just got me a new page and name but it is still me AKA fittytiff.
Anyway i am so sorry to hear all the trouble you are going through! Hang in there. Things will come around I have to believe that. You are going to have to accept that for now you need to not race. But you will again soon. I have confindence in you. You can do it. In the mean time take it slow!!

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ENDUROVET 4/11/2011 2:21PM

    Man, I am really sorry to hear about your torn ACL...

I've been oscillating myself between stubborn pride at getting my last half DONE, & wondering how much damage I did to my foot in the process (after all, the warning system was ON - it hurt like hell!).

But I hope you can get surgical repair scheduled quickly - no one likes the prospect of surgery, but once it's fixed you can concentrate on rehab/recovery!

hang in there, luv Val

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BEAUTIFLDZSTR 4/10/2011 5:10PM

    NO THEY ARE NOT.... they cant be girl with all the crap I have been going thru with my leg you are one of the people that has kept me believing injuries cant stop you....

This will heal it will all be good

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DEBULACLARK 4/10/2011 4:38PM

    Cat - hugs! Hang in there. Listen to the Dr. Don't push yourself. I'm praying that you can have surgery and all will be well - but let yourself heal.

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JPONCIN 4/10/2011 5:50AM

    Your racing days are NOT over. Please just give yourself time to rest and heal, and you will run again.

I tore my ACL in 2003, while I was 8 mos. pregnant. And couldn't have the surgery to get it fixed because I was pg. Then still couldn't have it because I was breastfeeding. Then got pg again! It was 3 years before I had the surgery done, and another year before my knee felt good enough for me to run. It can be a slow process, but you WILL run again, never doubt that. Hang in there, friend.

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JHADZHIA 4/9/2011 1:37AM

    So very sorry :( An ACL can be repaired, was this not offered?? Athletes have injuries like this all the time and get back to their sports. The key is proper rest and rehab with physio and then strengthening later..
Wishing you a better prognosis..
Make sure you get thoroughly checked out.. Have you had your bone density checked out lately?
I am sure you are not done yet. You can recover from this..
emoticon emoticon emoticon
Linda

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GETFIT2LIVE 4/8/2011 1:25PM

    So sorry about the injury; take good care of yourself and give your body time to recover.

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HOPEFULANGE 4/8/2011 12:35PM

    Find something else you love to do while you heal. Hopefully you'll get back to it eventually! emoticon

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CASLAMITY 4/8/2011 11:02AM

    Hugs, Cat!! Focus on healing right now, and stay positive. :)

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HICIM705 4/8/2011 6:30AM

    So sorry about this news. . .concentrate on getting better - THEN worry about walking/racing again - some time in the future. Maybe you just need to take it easy and heal!!!

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BRAVAH 4/8/2011 3:48AM

    Dear Cat!

I'm so sorry to hear that! What a bummer!!! So, what are you going to do about the race? I really feel for you! If I couldn't do my daily walks, I think I'd die! What is the doc suggesting you do about it? I'm sending you healing energy and some confidence!!!

Love,
Heidi

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MELISSAJUSTINA 4/8/2011 12:23AM

    oh it's not over, you just need to give yourself time to heal. Hang in there!!! Feel better soon.

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ESBELL 4/7/2011 11:35PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
Don't think the racing is completely over,
but give your body some time to recover.
emoticon emoticon emoticon


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MSEMBERSTORM 4/7/2011 10:24PM

    Oh hun. Nope your racing days can't be over yet. But you do need to take care of yourself and heal completely. Rest and get to feeling better!


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SUETINGE 4/7/2011 9:45PM

    Oh Cat, I'm so sorry. emoticon I know how much you love to travel and do those races. Hopefully you'll be able to get it fixed, have a quick recovery and be able to race again.

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RAVEN1025 4/7/2011 7:19PM

    Oh no! I am so sorry to hear about your injury! Rest and focus on healing fully. I know you love doing those races, you need to really let yourself heal so you don't reinjure or worsen your injury.
Sending healing thoughts your way!!

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SLCOLMAN 4/7/2011 6:35PM

    I am so sorry to hear about your injury. I hope that you are able to get it repaired quickly and have a speedy recovery!

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MAMABEARLICIOUS 4/7/2011 6:31PM

    i'm sorry for your injury and i hope you have a successful surgery with a speedy recovery.

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AMUNET_RA 4/7/2011 5:36PM

    I'll admit, I giggled when I imagined your doctor's face when you told him what you had in mind...

...but BIG ((HUGS)) to you, my friend! I know how much you love your races! I don't believe your racing days are over, as Jennifer says, your spirit will find a way! Even if it means swimming your stress away for a while!

and I LOVE Holly's idea of a 3-legged race!! emoticon

~~B

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SIXFULLERS 4/7/2011 4:39PM

    Oh Cat. How disappointing and frustrating and painful! I am so sorry about this latest turn of events. It seems you have been given a plateful lately. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

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DANIMITE2 4/7/2011 4:37PM

    That.Is.So.Sad!!!!! That's a major injury. What is the plan to repair it?

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NIGHTSKYSTAR 4/7/2011 4:31PM

    First off, BIG HUGE HUGS. I am so sorry and i know the pain and I dont know how you are doing it. I am so sorry!!
I'm also sorry about the race. I know how you look forward to them!! Are you still coming to the US?
I'm here for you...this sucks and theres no other way to put it. If i could i'd fly down and we could tie our bad legs together and do a 3 legged race!


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MRSCRITTERS 4/7/2011 4:14PM

    I had never heard of this injury until a few years ago when one of our dogs had it and needed surgery, since then ive heard lots of people have this injury.

I hope you can find some exercise that is less stressful on your knee. It must be very disappointing to not take part in the event you had planned. You have done so well so far, so please dont let this set you back.

Good luck if you are having the surgery emoticon

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WILDRICE99 4/7/2011 4:14PM

    Oh Cat, I'm sorry to hear this news. I know how much you love traveling and hitting all the "fun" long distance races. Hang in there. It will be some time, but you will heal and race again. If you truly love it that much, your spirit will find a way!

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5% Challenge

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I am determined to lose weight this year. I am so sick of being stared at on the street, wondering if a chair will support me, and sitting on sidelines, watching life pass me by because I'm too tired to participate.

I started Atkins almost two weeks ago and have been doing well -- I am down 12 lbs, which is amazing for me. I had a weak moment in the grocery store today and wanted carbs so badly, but I want to be slender even more, so I didn't give in.

I often talk about my obesity as though it just happened, and I think that's because I almost have reverse anorexia. I still remember clearly what I looked and felt like before I got fat, but I just realized that I've been 200+ for over 10 years now. Sometimes, I accidentally see myself in a mirror, and I'm horrified at what I've become.

So in the next few weeks, I'm going to lose 5% of my weight. It's the point of the challenge, but it's a special number for me. When I hit that goal, I'll be at the magic deuce and a half. Why happy about being enormous still? Until I was 250, I led a fairly normal life, but it was a tipping point when I crossed it. Hypertension, cholesterol, breathing issues, problems sleeping, edema, joint problems, etc. Even losing these 12 lbs. has made a huge difference. I've lost 3" off of my waist and another 3" off of my "belly roll". That's translated into a full dress size. I can put on my socks and tie my shoes without effort now! I wish I were kidding. It's these small quality of life issues that have had me feeling blue for so long.

I'm a goal-oriented person who loves to set ambitious targets. I'm going to resist that inclination for the time being and focus instead on the process: eating on the Atkins Induction plan, exercising regularly, and getting enough rest. I'm determined, and I'm not letting anyone or anything distract me from doing what I need to do to get to where I want to go, whether I get there quickly or challenge the Slowest Loser for the title.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GINGER_LOSTALOT 3/8/2011 1:46PM

    Oh, boy, do I know how you feel. I am almost at the point where I feel "normal." But it took a long time to get here, and it took a lot of little victories like the one you experienced to prepare me for the bigger ones. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FUNFROG79 3/4/2011 11:11AM

    Fantastic attutide! emoticon

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QUEMBEL1 2/27/2011 6:55AM

    emoticonI love the enthusiasm! I just realized that I haven't really been that determined to lose weight in years. I think it is the fear of failing again that holds me back.

So are you in a group or going by the book?

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50FITNFUN 2/27/2011 6:25AM

    emoticonI have every faith in you. 5% is a realistic goal. I know we'll be celebrating that loss with you real soon!

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DISPATCH91 2/26/2011 12:42PM

    emoticon emoticongo Cat go

You can do this and I am so happy the 12 pounds have left the building.

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AMUNET_RA 2/24/2011 9:38PM

    I am always so proud of you and this is no exception! I have complete faith in you and will celebrate along with you when you reach that magic number!!

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COFFEECRAZE 2/24/2011 10:19AM

    Way to go! Plow through and keep your eye on the prize!

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CHRISTINECAN 2/24/2011 8:12AM

    Congrats on the loss thus far. The Challenges are so great because they give you this specific number to focus on. You will make it to that number because the support is great, the strategies are clever and YOU are STRONG!

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MELISSAJUSTINA 2/24/2011 7:19AM

    Your on your way to healthier and fit life!

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RUNNINGOMA 2/24/2011 6:43AM

    emoticon blog!
I can so relate to what you say. I remember too, having my thighs rub together and getting chaffed. Having to suck it in and hold my breath to tie my shoes, etc.
Those 12 pounds (and wow! the inches too!!) have already made a difference. You are doing so well! Especially on not giving in to that temptation to deviate from your plan.
Keep up with those goals! Success is just a day and pound at a time!

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BRAVAH 2/24/2011 3:08AM

    Hi Cat!

Awesome! That sounds like determination and a great attitude! You're off to a great start, and I know that you can do it. Already making progress and reaping the rewards! I love that you can put on your socks and tie your shoes easier. That must feel great! Keep up that incredible intensity, and you'll reach that 5% before you know it!

Woohoo!

Cheers,R>Heidi

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SIGNAL38 2/24/2011 2:36AM

    emoticon on losing 12 pounds! emoticon

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JANIE724 2/24/2011 1:00AM

    I'm so proud of you - and you should be proud of yourself as well! It's all about focus, positive thoughts, and knowing that you CAN do it! Congratulations now, and for your journey!

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JHADZHIA 2/24/2011 12:27AM

    Congrats on the weight loss!! That is amazing!! The 5% sounds doable for sure!
Keep up the great work!!!
emoticon

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TERRA_LUNA 2/23/2011 9:40PM

    Great job on your weight loss so far! I am confident that you can do it too! You have been able to redirect your thoughts (at the grocery store)....anything is possible.
Best wishes,
Katy

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CJBAGGINS 2/23/2011 7:52PM

    That's interesting that there was a 'tipping point' in your journey.

I hope you don't mind a cheerleader on the sidelines (or many as evidenced by the comments) encouraging you in this challenge that you have set for yourself.

emoticon

And well done on the loss so far, and the inches dropped!

Just think how you will feel after you lose that 5%!

cj

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50FITNFUN 2/23/2011 7:33PM

    You are a strong, confident, capable woman and a great friend to all who know you. The fact that you participate in all the races despite the many medical issues/challenges has always been a huge inspiration to me. In those times that I am ready to throw in the towel and give up hope, I remind myself of all that you have (and continue to) push through.

I am so happy for your recent success with the the Atkins Induction and diet plan. I think the 5% weight loss goal is a good one. I am following Weight Watcher's Points Plus plan and have the same 5% goal to go after.

Congrats on winning the battle of the carb cravings in the grocery store. That can be he hardest place to fight a craving since everything to satisfy the craving is readily available.

You know how it goes...one meal, one day at a time. You can do this, I know it!
emoticon

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IMAGINE_IT 2/23/2011 6:00PM

    Congrats on already dropping 12lbs!! emoticon emoticon I think you have the right Mindset..and you will lose those 5%...just stay foccused on your Goal!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ESBELL 2/23/2011 4:48PM

    emoticon In my minds eye you are a strong, beautiful woman (okay, but maybe not green) You will be even more amazing as you reach your goals & beyond!

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FIERYSPARKED 2/23/2011 4:13PM

    We're going to do this.
I have the same problem "reverse anorexia" or whatever. I still think I'm a 17 year old hottie. lol

As for the Atkins - whatever works for you. Some people can function with low carb, some can't.

I've tried it and I felt like eating a small child.

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TO_BE_FIT 2/23/2011 12:51PM

    You can do it! emoticon

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SUETINGE 2/23/2011 12:24PM

    Great job, Cat! I know you can do it.

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FLORIDAFAN 2/23/2011 12:10PM

    YOu can do it Cat! Great job so far and I know that you will keep it up!

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BEXTRESS27 2/23/2011 11:58AM

    YOU CAN DO IT!!! emoticon You are strong emoticon and goodness knows there is plenty of good food out there without carbs! emoticon I am clapping my hands because I believe in Cat-Fairies!!!

emoticon emoticon

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ENDUROVET 2/23/2011 11:55AM

    I have been frustrated w/my own lack of progress, so maybe saddling up for this 5% challenge is also where I need to start...

Oh, & a big **WOOT!!!** for 12 lbs lost, that's fabulous!

Comment edited on: 2/23/2011 11:56:14 AM

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JUDIL62 2/23/2011 11:55AM

    Great job! Keep focusing on the positive! We can do this.

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NIGHTSKYSTAR 2/23/2011 11:51AM

    I am so proud of you!!! You are determined and its paying off. good for you!! YOU ROCK!

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Hogwarts Whole Foods Challenge

Monday, February 21, 2011

In Hogwarts this week, the Faculty challenged the students to eat as many whole foods as possible. I'm in Induction in Atkins at the moment, and it's not a 100% fit, but here's my meal plan for the week:

Monday
Breakfast: an omelet with bacon, cheese, broccoli, and tomato cooked in olive oil
Snack: egg salad with parsley
Lunch: ground beef
Dinner: roasted chicken

Tuesday
Breakfast: lamb chops
Snack: celery with cream cheese
Lunch: ground beef and spinach
Snack: cheddar cheese
Dinner: chicken and spinach

Wednesday
Breakfast: omelet same as Monday
Snack: organic chicken broth
Lunch: chicken and lettuce
Snack: celery leaves and cheddar cheese
Dinner: ground beef and brussell sprouts

Thursday
Breakfast: lamb chops
Snack: egg salad with parsley
Lunch: ground beef and spinach
Dinner: salmon and spinach

Friday
Breakfast: pork chop
Snack: cheddar cheese
Lunch: lamb chops and brussell sprouts
Dinner: salmon and lettuce

Saturday
Breakfast: omelet
Snack: organic chicken broth
Lunch: egg salad with parsley
Snack: cheddar cheese
Dinner: chicken and spinach

Sunday
Breakfast: pork chop
Snack: cheddar cheese
Lunch ground beef, lettuce, tomato
Snack: brie
Dinner: lamb chop, brussell sprouts

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 2/23/2011 11:54AM

    Virtually no veggies? I understand the Atkins rationale behind limiting fruits & starches - are you doing the standard 2-wk induction?

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MELISSAJUSTINA 2/22/2011 12:54PM

    Awesome job planning out your meals! I plan out my dinners maybe i need to go a little bit further!

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BRAVAH 2/22/2011 5:06AM

    HI Cat,

Mmmm, sounds delicious. I'm eyeing those lamb chops! Good plan for the week!

Cheers,
Heidi

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AMUNET_RA 2/21/2011 8:56PM

    Keep up the great work, Cat!!

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JHADZHIA 2/21/2011 8:33PM

    Wow! What a very restrictive diet! You really have to be a meat lover to enjoy this diet! I couldn't stand not having any fruit. There is nothing more refreshing then a grapefruit or orange for breakfast. Hope you take some supplements to get your vitamins, like C for example..
Good luck with it..

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NIGHTSKYSTAR 2/21/2011 4:23PM

    yay good for you!! i hope i get an extension till tomorrow when i get home!

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Induction - Day 1

Saturday, February 12, 2011

I've just about started Induction several times now, but something has come up each time. We have a holiday here on Monday, and I'm finally over being sick. Soooo ... today was emoticon.

So far, so good. emoticon Wish me luck!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAZZLINDIANE 2/15/2011 9:20AM

    You go Girl!!!!

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DISPATCH91 2/15/2011 7:28AM

    You go girl.

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AMUNET_RA 2/14/2011 8:59PM

    So glad you're feeling better!! Anxious to hear how day 1 went!!!
~~B

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REBECCAFRIEDMAN 2/13/2011 11:31PM

    Go girl! I just started back on hardcore induction with a Paleo twist. I have been reading the PaNu blog and it's influenced me a lot. Check it out, good luck and hang in there! It gets MUCH easier after a few days.

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ANGELICASASSY 2/13/2011 6:44PM

  Goood luck!! You can doooo this!!

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DOTSLADY 2/13/2011 12:22PM

    Hi sweet emoticon!!! So GOOD to hear from my goodly sparkly friend. Good luck with induction.
emoticon emoticon

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BRAVAH 2/13/2011 3:50AM

    Hi Cat!

Glad you're feeling better. I'm coughing up a lung - but otherwise feel fine. Woohoo for day 1!

Have a great week!

cheers,
Heidi

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JHADZHIA 2/13/2011 12:10AM

    I am afraid I am drawing a blank as well. What is this induction?
Hope it works for you whatever it is..
Have a super Sunday!!

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ENDUROVET 2/12/2011 10:24PM

    Yes, I echo everyone else in wishing you the best of luck...

(But WHICH induction protocol are you referring to?) Inquiring minds want to know!

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CJBAGGINS 2/12/2011 10:12PM

    Good luck, Cat!
What is Induction?

cj

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1MIN17SECB412PM 2/12/2011 6:50PM

    Sorry, Cat, but... there's really sooo MANY inductions, I'm not sure what you're referring to. I see a lot of *luck* being sent your way, so I concur emoticon you must need some, whether it's for mathematical induction, electromagnetic induction, the high performance web application known as 'Induction' or any of the physical sciences, or... if it's into a spiritual organization of values and philosophy...

*B*E*S*T* *O*F* *L*U*C*K* on your journey!!

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NIGHTSKYSTAR 2/12/2011 6:01PM

    good luck!! i hope induction goes really fast and works great for you!

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50FITNFUN 2/12/2011 6:01PM

    Glad you are finally feeling better. Good luck with Induction. emoticon

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DANIMITE2 2/12/2011 2:51PM

    Good luck!

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WILDRICE99 2/12/2011 2:50PM

    emoticon

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