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Saturday, June 18, 2011

As some of you noticed, I reset my ticker to reflect where I really am right now, and that is squarely in Fattyville. I've been upset and frustrated for the past few months, under a lot of stress and in pain, and unable to be as active as I'm used to being. I took my eye off the prize and am ready to start trudging that weary road again.

So here it is in black and white:

current weight: 287 lbs.
waist: 54 inches
% lard: 52
BMI: 50

I will update again at the beginning of July and own my progress - or lack of it - on the 1st of each month until I've reached my goal.

No excuses.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOTSLADY 6/22/2011 11:27AM

    Been there, done that gf! I hear what you're saying. Your poor bod has been under stress so it cascades. Take it easy on your bada$$ self, cause if you don't, who will?! You can hopefully take it down a notch by taking good care, which I know you try. I hope you find some peace within so your journey is a gentle one.
As-Salamu Alaykum (Peace be within you.)
emoticon emoticon

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DISPATCH91 6/20/2011 9:47AM

    emoticonand you go girl

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QUEMBEL1 6/20/2011 9:11AM

    I love your attitude!

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NIMAWEYGH 6/20/2011 1:33AM

    Cat we all fight the battle of going forward and then going backward. The way to win this fight is just what your doing. Taking control, admitting where you are and that your having some trouble and choosing to get right back on the horse that bucked you off.

Trust me I know what your going through with the pain and inactivity. I have been unable to do any physical activity since the last week of April. I was 179.5 pounds and now am back to 184.5 but I am not every going to give up on my goals. I will reach 145 eventually and if I have to do it without physical activity then so be it.

We can do it you and I so you hang in there and know that I am emoticon you on.

Hugs and bunny snuggles,
Nims and the G girls emoticon emoticon

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MSEMBERSTORM 6/19/2011 11:21PM

    You can do this.

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50FITNFUN 6/19/2011 7:16PM

    As has been pointed out to me recently, we are not in this fight alone. No matter how discouraging our backslides may be, we are surrounded by team members and friends who understand. You do what you can, as you can while you deal with your ACL issues. Just know that I and so many others undetstand your frustrations and know that you WILL succeed in the long run. And speaking of long runs....I am planning on seeing you cross a finish line on January 8th, 2012! We will do this race to weight loss and stronger bodies the same way we do the race in WDW...together! emoticon emoticon

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ENDUROVET 6/19/2011 4:39PM

    OK, OK, I solemnly swear - I'll weigh in Mon AM as I should have been doing all along, follow your lead & adjust accordingly!

When are you getting your knee fixed BTW? I've had to defer an appt w/sports-medicine podiatrist due to life getting in the way, but I'm desperate to get back to running...

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MRSCRITTERS 6/19/2011 3:27PM

    Well done for being honest and good luck getting back on track, we are similar weights so can encourage each other and have a mini competition too emoticon

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ACORALSEA 6/19/2011 6:20AM

    A lot of us are right there with you. Can you get in the pool for a swim or water therapy? No impact cardio and the best overall exercise you can get, plus it's injury-free and could help you on the path to wellness, recovery and getting back on track.

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BRAVAH 6/19/2011 6:20AM

    Hi Cat,

Way to own up and be in a place where you really can start again. No excuses is awesome! You've been quite challenged with all your physical issues. Hopefully, you're on the mend now, and can start adding activity back into your life.

Sending love, healing vibes, and kudos for you for starting again!


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SLCOLMAN 6/19/2011 12:38AM

    Being honest about where you are is something that I have been struggling with for a few months. Kudos to you for doing it!! I hope that you see much success :)

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1MIN17SECB412PM 6/18/2011 9:41PM

    emoticon I know what it is to take steps forward then slip n' slide right back down to the starting line again, Cat. You're gonna' fix this you know why? You've got all the strongest & best training *here* & you're smart, that's why! I look forward to seein' you slap them lbs out a' this world, girl!

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NIGHTSKYSTAR 6/18/2011 8:16PM

    i am here for you. i'm not losing and i'm ANGRY about it!!! i know how determined you are and i KNOW you can do this!!! big hugs...what can i do to help?

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MDMNINA 6/18/2011 7:38PM

    Have you had your knee surgery yet? You need to think about recovery before you think about weight loss. emoticon

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DEBULACLARK 6/18/2011 6:55PM

    Cat - I'm traveling that weary road with you again too...I'll be here for you if you need me. You can do this. Give yourself a pat on the back for getting through the move, the sickness you dealt with, the gum infection and the will get back. I'm sure of it. Did you have the surgery? How did it go?

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DISPATCHER04 6/18/2011 6:52PM

    Girl, half the battle is knowing what you're dealing with. Take that info and BATTLE! You can totally do this! :) And we're right here behind ya! :)

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CJBAGGINS 6/18/2011 3:51PM

    I'm here, too, with my pom poms!

Of course, my ninjas are ever-ready to provide much-needed "encouragement", when required.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

We know what we need to do, Cat. The hardest part is doing it.

As weary as that road is, at least it's not as lonely as it could be.


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AMUNET_RA 6/18/2011 3:24PM

    ...and I'll be here, cheering you on!! (Of course, I'll be in The Temple of Isis...but we have other ways of communicating, right?)

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Gruesome Gums

Saturday, June 11, 2011

On May 18th, I had routine gum surgery. On the 20th, I said good-bye to Beirut

and flew to the U.S. for knee surgery. It seemed so simple, and yet --

I developed a nasty infection in the gum. My cheek swelled and turned black, and the gum puffed up to twice it's width. A few days later, I started seeing things that just didn't look right, and after two weeks, I couldn't help but notice that I had nasty halitosis no matter how I tried to be diligent in my hygiene. I made an appointment with a dentist, sure that he would poo poo my concerns and reassure me that this was part of the healing process.

The cheerful dental assistant led me to the chair, settled me in, took a look, froze like a bunny in the headlights, and the next thing I knew, the ENTIRE STAFF of the clinic was gathered round. The hygienist retracted my cheek gently, they all peered in, collectively gasped, and reflexively recoiled.

So, yeah, that worried me a teensy bit.

The dentist got me an emergency appointment with a periodontist, they helped me with directions since I don't know the area very well, and off I went. The periodontal team seemed, well sanguine isn't really the word, but not terribly fussed about the condition of my mouth. The (handsome) doc cleaned things out a bit, gave me antibiotics and sent me on my way with a check up scheduled for a few days later.

Clearing up this infection mattered to me not only because I have cute teeth and would like to keep every one of them in my mouth where they belong, but because I was scheduled for knee surgery yesterday, and they won't operate when someone has a major mouth infection. It impedes healing and makes all that tubing they use problematic.

A little back story here: those of you who read my last blog know that I lost my job in Afghanistan because of my knee and will have trouble getting another one so long as my medical status is undefined. So getting the ACL rebuilt and going through rehab is super important to me. I called a surgeon from Beirut and set things up, arrived and discovered that the small town office team really didn't know what to make of me, hadn't quite grasped the situation and was not inclined to be helpful. Office Manager Sue seems to have taken a pretty strong dislike to me and was peeved when I got a June 10th surgical date, feeling that I should have been made to wait longer "for my turn".

On Wednesday, I returned to the periodontist, who cleaned a bit more, expressed concern that there was so much pus, and advised against knee surgery on Friday. I wanted to see how his little clean up played out, still hoping for a recovery.

The gums were swollen to more than twice their normal width, and the good news is that the clean-up reduced that somewhat. Instead, they swelled vertically, covering my teeth!!! I won't describe them further, except to say that it was super gross, and I was a bit unnerved. I was also sick of running a fever, after two straight weeks. For heaven's sake - on Thursday morning, I took two Tylenol, two Day-Quil, and a 5-Hour Power shot just to get out of bed!

The periodontist was adamant: I needed to come in soonest. He also insisted on personally calling the orthopedic surgeon and telling him what was going on. Yikes. It sure was nice of Periodontist office manager Ally to give me a ring and let me know that I wasn't having knee surgery on Friday, because nasty Office Manager Sue never did. In fact, the only thing she did was call my emergency contact and inform her that even though I had somehow squeaked in the first time, the surgeon wouldn't be able to book me now until JULY! (With a four - six month recovery time, so I'd really be buggered.)

So we drove back on Thursday. I don't know what I was expecting. More of the same, I guess. The periodontist and his team booked me after hours to get me in same day. (I know! Handsome AND nice!) My first inkling that I was in for a treat was when they kitted me out in surgical garb. The next thing I knew, the whole office was in the surgery with me. I have never received so much numbing agent in my entire life I tried not to think about the implications too much. The office manager held my hand. The assistant chirped encouraging platitudes, and the periodontist went at it.

And at it and at it. The surgery took almost two hours! The original surgery involved three teeth. The infection had spread to over eight teeth's worth of gum and gone into the bone. The doctor described the infection as "spectacular" and took photos. (Half of me heard that and thought "Vindication!" while the other half thought emoticon "Holy &*%$#!") He said he was surprised that I had been up and about at all, given the fever, swelling, and level of infection.

Now I'm lying low. I need this infection to heal because I need the knee surgery, and also because the doctor informed me that if this procedure doesn't heal me, the next stop would be the ER. I made a long list of things to do whilst in America, but visiting an emergency services center wasn't on the list!

In between there, I had a birthday.

I am trying to make the most of the time by visiting with folks, but I am also feeling stressed and nervous about my future. One step at a time. Heal the gums and save the teeth/jaw. Get the knee surgery and aggressively rehab. Convince would-be bosses that I'm up to the demands of the job and line something up.

And I feel sure that a Wawa hoagie is in there somewhere, too! emoticon

Thanks to everyone who has supported me through the drama and celebrated my birthday with me!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ENDUROVET 6/19/2011 4:43PM

    Ouch! I should have read all the way back before asking about your scheduled ACL surgery...

Hope you are on the mend now, sounds like they are on the right track!

Sending healing, anti-inflammatory wishes,
luv Val

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DANIMITE2 6/14/2011 2:15AM

    Your description of the medical team viewing your infection totally cracked me up! I can totally hear you saying it in your adorable accent. emoticon It sounds like someone from Hufflepuff put something in your pumpkin juice to turn those gums black!

I am so sorry you're dealing with all of this, Cat. It's hard to watch someone with your spunk have to be set back by so many hardships, while those with perfectly healthy bodies make couch potatoes of themselves. Know that I'm praying for you and thinking of you often!

I hope you had a fabulous birthday. Thank you SO MUCH for my sweet birthday card. It really made me laugh, but I was more touched at the idea of your thinking of me.

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FLORIDAFAN 6/13/2011 8:53AM

    Wow Cat! and ouch! I do hope that the gums are going to heal nicely now, and then on to the knee surgery.

Well Hoagie fest runs through the end of the month so make sure you get one....LOL, heck might as well throw in Tastykakes too with all that you have been through.

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BRAVAH 6/13/2011 6:56AM

    Hi Cat,

OMG! What a story! And here I was thinking that you were in the midst of your knee recovery. What a long road to knee surgury via periodontal emergencies! Sheesh! Well, I certainly hope that the pre-knee-surgery problems (including a rotten apple receptionist in the orthopedic office) are behind you. I'm sending healing vibes for your jaw and for your knee surgery! I wish you all the best with the job as well. So, are you completely located in the states at the moment? Where is MacDuff?


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CJBAGGINS 6/12/2011 9:56PM

    Wow. You never do things by halves, do you, dear?

I'm so glad the mouth infection was finally dealt with, despite run arounds and the completely unhelpful assistants and office managers. Yay for bits of humour and getting to spend time with a few nice/handsome people in the peridontist's office. And a big
to Office Manager Sue!

A happy and speedy recovery to you!


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    i'm sorry you're going through this, especialy during your birthday. belated birthday wishes !!
i have extreme dental fright and i hope you get well and don't suffer with that from now on!!
i hope things heal quickly and you have your knee surgery. good luck !!

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MAPLELEAFMOM 6/12/2011 12:44PM

    Wow, what an adventure and what a way to spend your birthday!! Sending lots and lots of healing thoughts your way. My mouth also hurt just reading all that!! I guess we must remember that everything happens for a reason, we just aren't sure why at the time it happens! Please keep us updated on how things are going with you. No dull moments for you emoticon Sending lots of healthy thoughts and prayers your way ! Also have a Wawa hoagie for me (why is there no emoticon for a hoagie? LOL!!) Take care of yourself...

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DOTSLADY 6/12/2011 9:09AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Happy Birthday emoticonto YoUUUUU!
Aw, sweet cheeks ( emoticon) I hope you are recovering!! The dentist wouldn't see me for 6 months after my heart attack for fear of infection. Now I see why! YIKES!

I don't know how you'll do it, but I know you WILL because you have WILL!
emoticonI'll be singing for you a long while. HaPpY Biiiirthdaay to Youuuu. And maa-any moooore! (And a pinch to lose an inch!)
emoticonYou are SO fab dahling!

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Holy crap, what a kerfuffle. I'm glad they were able to fix it all up, albeit with a 2 hour operation. I can't even imagine how much your mouth hurt before and after. Mouth infections (especially down to the bone) are pretty dangerous and can affect all parts of your body, so you are lucky you had such a great dentist et al.

Hope you are feeling better now and I have to say I'm so glad to actually see you in a picture. You are one pretty lady and happy birthday if I missed it, things have been up in the air down here.

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XANADUREALM 6/12/2011 7:14AM

    From someone with knee problems ... until you can get the surgery...wrap your knee with an ACE or elastic bandage. It will help prevent more strain on your knee and help with the pain.

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QUEMBEL1 6/12/2011 6:49AM

    emoticonHopefully things will improve soon. Love you!

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DDUNKIES 6/11/2011 10:28PM

    my poor Cat- i am so sorry for all the pain you've had to go through- i hope the healing starts immediately if not yesterday!!! the picture of you is lovely- sending good vibes your way- love ya donna

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DORIS39 6/11/2011 9:10PM




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DISPATCH91 6/11/2011 7:06PM

    Bless your heart, that is an ordeal I am glad you found a good doctor plus it doesn't hurt that he is easy on the eyes. emoticon

So sorry that the witch of another constant office manager acted the way she did. Maybe she needs to be turned into a emoticon

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DISPATCHER04 6/11/2011 5:37PM

    I'm with Linda--I like your picture best. :)

((hugs)) for your whole traumatic ordeal. The good thing is that after something like that, you really enjoy feeling GOOD for a change. LOL.

And ((hugs)) just because. :)

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NIGHTSKYSTAR 6/11/2011 4:23PM

    That all, I want to know what they are doing to your knee that needs 4-6 months rehab even total knee replacement they say 3 months for!!! I am so so sorry this is happening. I am sending every ounce of positive healing thoughts, prayers, charms, etc i can that the infection clears up quick!!
I am hoping that you get a chance to come visit so i can do that castle for you!!! you..i'm here for you!!

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SUETINGE 6/11/2011 4:15PM

    First off, Happy Belated Birthday!

Second, OW! My mouth hurts just reading about this. I really hope the procedure on Thurs. got everything cleaned out so you can get on with your healing. emoticon

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MSEMBERSTORM 6/11/2011 4:09PM

    Wow hun. You have been through the ringer. I hope you get to feeling better soon and that your rocking and rolling soon. I will keep healing thoughts for you.

Hope your birthday was excellent!

Comment edited on: 6/11/2011 4:10:13 PM

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AMUNET_RA 6/11/2011 4:06PM

    My gums hurt just reading this! Ow ow ow!! Hope things are turning around soon, Cat!

Love you loads!!

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MDMNINA 6/11/2011 12:35PM

    Happy Birthday, Sweetie! You have sure been through an odessy! I hope you heal up soon. Between my ankle and your gums, we sound like a soap opera!!

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ELISELOVE1 6/11/2011 12:30PM

    i hope you feel better soon. emoticon emoticon

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SHORTTOOTH1 6/11/2011 12:04PM

    Wow! Just Wow! I'm so sorry that you have to go through all of this. At least you found a doc who cares enough to make sure that you are getting the right treatment not just for your mouth, but who won't let you compromise your overall health with an ill advised knee surgery.

Just take the time you need to get better.

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_LINDA 6/11/2011 11:53AM

    So very sorry you had to suffer through all this :(( I just can't imagine an infection that bad :(( Hope it heals perfectly well and you have no more trouble! I actually have to take antibiotics when I get dental work, even just a cleaning because they are worried about my artificial joints getting an infection in the area because of the weakened tissues.. Its because bacteria from the mouth gets in the bloodstream so easy when you are being worked on..I am assuming they gave you broad spectrum antibiotics to help with your recovery here..
So very sorry I also missed your birthday :( It looks like you were having fun there at least before the boom got lowered! Never heard of this wa wa sub..
Its so nice to see your actual photo! I am so used to seeing those blond sexy, slim cartoonish pictures you are always putting on your profile, I wasn't sure what to expect!! So here is my opinion, get rid of them because you have a beautiful smile and I would much rather see your wonderful, pleasant face on my friend feed then those bottle blonde artificial women!
Those are lovely shots of your city, so sorry things didn't work out for you to keep your job :((...
Best wishes for a speedy recovery, look after yourself!
emoticon emoticon

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ESBELL 6/11/2011 11:39AM

    ACK! that emergency gum surgery sounds horrid! I hope it all clears up soon, and that the knee surgery goes off without a hitch!

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SIXFULLERS 6/11/2011 11:26AM

    OMG! I'd wonder where i got the initial infection! I'm thinking about you and prayers for a full recovery.

And a Wawa sub! I WANT ONE TOO! (but not as much as Guissepes)

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SLCOLMAN 6/11/2011 11:22AM

    OMGosh! I hope that your mouth heals quickly and that you are able to get that knee surgery out of the way!

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WILDRICE99 6/11/2011 10:37AM

    When it rain, it pours I guess..on the bright may see a rainbow! (I did see a double rainbow just yesterday after I ran a 5k...the sky must have been sending me a message "cheer up, you're done!")

Hope your 2nd surgery is a success and that you will be able to get your knee surgery done soon. Hang in there and preserve that do have very nice teeth! emoticon

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DEBULACLARK 6/11/2011 10:20AM

    Cat - hugs and prayers...I hope your mouth feels better soon and you get to enjoy that Hoagie... are you in PA?

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My knee and my life

Saturday, April 16, 2011

You will never know how gratified I was to be the Motivator of the Day the other day. (Seriously? Have they run out of people?) emoticon I am such a mess right now that I don't know how I could be motivating anyone else.

2011 opened with a disappointing trip to Walt Disneyworld - not completing a race for the first time ever, followed by pneumonia, strep throat, a stress fracture, and now a torn meniscus and a torn ACL. Sheesh! It's only April! emoticon

So I'm now hobbling around in the nifty contraption pictured above. It isn't pretty; I look like a morbidly obese transformer and move like a constipated Godzilla. I call it my "man magnet" because it's attracting them like Winnie the Pooh to "hunny". They all approach me, stare at it a while, and then ask me about the injury. And you should see the look on their faces when I tell them that I did it doing the meringue at Arthur Murray! It's almost worth it!

Ok, no it's not. Still, it's weird that men never used to chat me up the way they do now.

Anyway, here's the part that's making this stressful: I am supposed to change jobs next month. I'm a project manager, currently working in Lebanon, and I'm headed for Afghanistan. The Afghanistan job requires me to wear 40 lbs. of body armour, travel by helicopter, jump off the back of trucks, etc. Take another peek at the contraption up above. Sooo not going to happen.

The company shirts want me to just wear the brace and tough things out, because surgery would mess with my transfer timing. It's been weeks now, and I'm tired of being in pain all the time. Also, I can barely move and can't really exercise, which is not a good long term plan. And forget my passion for racing - that will never happen in the current circumstances.

Surgery ... I'd like to do it here in Beirut. It's going to be tricky to finish the assignment, but at least I won't have to use up everything I've banked. I could go to the U.S. but surgery there is more expensive, and I'd have to leave right away. It's awkward, because I'm not done working and there would be lots of hectic loose ends to tie up. London is also an option. It's where I had my last surgery, but it's the priciest way to go.

I also have to figure out what to do with MacDuff. I won't be able to care for him for a couple of weeks afterwards. I live three floors up, and I don't know how I'll get up there after surgery, but I hope I can impose on friends for MacDuff, and I'm being extra special nice to cranky chap who lives on the ground floor and has a guest room ....

I *think* the plan is that I'm going to have surgery in Beirut as soon as I can, tough out the aftermath, start physio, and then try to continue it when I'm in training in America so that I can get to Afghanistan on schedule, or near to it. There are a lot of variables in that plan. I don't even know if the Afghan job will take me in this condition, but I can't stand having my whole life up in the air. I am a slow healer, but living in pain all the time isn't a good long-term plan.

So to recap: I need to move in a few weeks, but I don't know where, because I'm not sure I still have that job, but I can't remain here, and I'm going to try to take care of my knee on three different continents because I can't stay anywhere for more than a few weeks.

What's anchoring me? I am determined - absolutely determined - to lose weight this year, and I need to rehab this knee to do that. I appreciate my sparkfriends' support. I keep reminding myself to keep my perspective. This is stressful, but it's temporary. Sooner or later, I will know for sure where I'm headed and what I will be doing to earn MacDuff's kibbles. And at least I have knees to fuss over. And best of all? Getting this squared away, means I get to race again! emoticon

emoticon Wish me luck!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOTSLADY 6/12/2011 9:00AM

    Man, where've "I" been?! So much to catch up on ... with that derned knee...

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NIGHTSKYSTAR 6/11/2011 4:28PM

    HOW did i miss this post!!!! when you said you were doing a blog today, i went right there and there it was, but NO alert in email. my huge apologies i hope you know i would have commented on this IMMEDIATELY had i known it was here!!
I have a peacock blue brace. its pretty...pretty AWFUL!!! i have no meniscus left in my right leg.
You need my doc. He believes in quick rehab. he likes you to walk out of the hospital if you are able. and i have to say his surgery was the quickest i recovered from, due to using my knee right away. hes great. I'm sure yours is too!!

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MDMNINA 4/28/2011 1:50PM

    You have to take care of yourself. To heck with what the company wants. You need to do what is best for you!

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    i hope everything works out with your knee and where ever in the world you end up..... you and macDuff are there together !! westies are the best care givers !!

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MAPLELEAFMOM 4/19/2011 5:35PM

    emoticon OMG Cat you have ALOT going on right now!! I think your plan for getting the knee fixed right away is a great one! I hope that everything just falls into place once you make a decision and set a date. If I was closer, I would definitely take MacDuff for a few weeks - who wouldn't want to spend time with a cute Westie !!

Keep us posted on how things go and know that you have people all over the world sending positive thoughts your way emoticon emoticon

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FUNFROG79 4/19/2011 10:29AM

    I had to wear the same thing after my second knee surgery!! I feel your pain! emoticon

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SHORTTOOTH1 4/19/2011 8:38AM

    Wow! You have so much going on. Although your attitude is completely in the right place. Keep up all the great work.

Also, I have a pretty good idea why they picked you. I would emoticon

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RAVEN1025 4/18/2011 10:33PM

    I am crossing my fingers for you and hoping that the timing of everything works out. I hope you can get your knee taken care of ASAP so that you can start healing.
Much love to you!

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MSEMBERSTORM 4/18/2011 9:18PM

    Cat you are amazing. Hope you get it fixed soon and all the stuff works out for you. I'm here for you! Wish you were local and I would be glad to help out. You deserve to not have to suffer with the pain any longer. Fixing it looks like your best option. You can do this!

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FLORIDAFAN 4/18/2011 7:48PM

    Cat get that Knee fixed! Heck come to PA and do it, I will deliver WaWA and TastyKakes....LOL......might now be the best thing, but its the best I can come up with. Plus with a good knee you can consider another Princess....its all about me isnt it....LOL!

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NEWNAC304 4/18/2011 3:21PM

    I'm sorry you have so many decisions to make on top of being in pain. Do what's best for you. Good luck!

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50FITNFUN 4/18/2011 1:46PM

    Cat, I can only imagine the pain and frustration you are going through with your knee, your job, and every decision that is tied to both. All I can definitively tell you, is that unless your body is up to snuff, the only thing that will come from putting off fixing your knee is more pain and the greater likelihood that you will never race again. Add to that, the increased probability that you will damage your knee further whilst jumping from a vehicle wearing 40 extra pounds of body armour. Then what do you think the company suits will do? Make the decision that you feel most comfortable with; the one that suits Cat's needs, not necessarily the company's bottom line.

No matter what, we all wish you the best and I think it's clear from the posts that you are surrounded by the love of friends who will be here for you through it all. emoticon emoticon

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SIXFULLERS 4/18/2011 1:34PM

    Cat - no matter what lies in front of you, your friends are beside you - here to help. Good luck with the knee (the brace as a man-attractor - hmmmm....)

You are remarkable. I'm sure you'll be race planning again here in no time (from Afghanistan no less).

j. :)

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DEBULACLARK 4/18/2011 9:52AM

    CAT! I wish I could help you out. I'd take MacDuff in a minute. I'd even let you crash here to recuperate! I'm so sorry everything's up in the air. It seems like you are working it out in your head though...and SHAME on the company shirts who don't want you to fix yourself...that's TERRIBLE. emoticon

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ENDUROVET 4/18/2011 8:51AM

    Well, I always think that (needed) surgery is better sooner than later!

I'm going to have to reluctantly schedule an appt w/my sports med dr for MY L knee - a few days ago I once again found myself lying in humiliation in the dust of my barn floor when I tripped up & fell once AGAIN... I can't believe I've just gotten that much clumsier!

I also miss planning for races more than I ever thought possible (the forbidden fruit?!?) but can only hope that I'll be able to work my way back to 5 & 10K's.

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QUEMBEL1 4/18/2011 7:49AM

    Cat, you will be back into your spy suit in no time. The company wants you to tough it out! Take care of yourself first.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CJBAGGINS 4/18/2011 1:05AM

    Lots of luck!

Man. Tough decisions. Sorry I can't help you make them, or make it easier in some way. Know that we care and that we're rooting for you, no matter what happens and where you end up.


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CHRISPYLEE 4/18/2011 12:33AM


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DISPATCHER04 4/17/2011 11:05PM

    ((hugs)) I'm sorry you're hurting and down for now.

I have full confidence that you will bounce back better than ever. You're irrepressible! emoticon

Funny about the man-attractor brace. When I was pregnant, men swarmed around me. It was funny!

Love ya, girl! :)

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MELISSAJUSTINA 4/17/2011 11:02PM

    Wow good luck with everything Cat! Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. But taking care of your knee is very important. Congrats on MOD! Great job...

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SUETINGE 4/17/2011 5:42PM

    Wow Cat, that's a lot for anyone to handle at one time. If anyone can handle all of it, you can. You are an amazingly strong woman.

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MBUICE 4/17/2011 9:37AM

    Cat, it's the fact that you're still in the fight while you're life is in chaos that motivates me. I remember when you left for Lebanon, you're amazing, and I know you'll get it figured out.

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MRSCRITTERS 4/17/2011 8:46AM

    Wow you have so much going on emoticon

Hopefully you can sort your knee out and be in less pain, that would be a good start to things, then hopefully everything else will fall in to place

Good luck

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AMUNET_RA 4/17/2011 7:11AM

    ((HUGS)) I wish you were here and I could take care of you and MacDuff (and the sugery would be free). Hope your friends in Beruit pull through for you...maybe the cranky chap with guest room will be a surprise hero in all of this!


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BRAVAH 4/17/2011 4:05AM


Cat, I'm sending you all the love and support I can muster. I really hope that you find a solution to each aspect of this - from Macduff's care to a ground floor respite while you heal. If I were anywhere near, I would take Macduff for you.

Congrats on Motivator of the Day!!! I've been shocked when I've received it, but then I realize that it takes a certain number of people clicking on your page that you motivate them... that last person can click even when you're not feeling particularly motivated yourself, lol. But you deserve it! You make teams and motivate people to get moving! You are an inspiration to me and to many others!!!

As for the surgery itself, I agree... do it and start rehabbing to feel better. Pain is not fun - especially since it sounds like there will have to be a surgery in the future at some point - you might as well do it now, as opposed to later! And you're totally right about not being able to jump out of a truck wearing 40 pounds of body armour with your knee in the shape it is at the moment!!!

So, interesting that men see the knee brace as a chatting point. Maybe you should keep it after you are healed and use it when you go walking to get a little male attention, lol!

Good luck with yout potential job change. I know this knee thing is bad timing, but if it is meant to be, then you will still have the job. I have to say that the thought of being somewhere where I need 40 pounds of body armour is pretty daunting to me! You're a brave woman!!!

As for the racing, this will be a hiatus. But Physical Therapy can be good exercise. Hopefully whoever helps you after your surgery will be able to get good workouts for you and get you strong again quickly!

Keep us posted as to when and where you'll be having the surgery!


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DRAMAMOMSUE 4/17/2011 2:46AM

  Hang in their... have you considered surgery in may want to research it. The medical care is wonderful here! emoticon

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DANIMITE2 4/16/2011 11:41PM

    I love you, and I'm sorry you're hurting. I wish you lived closer! I'd take care of you and MacDuff!

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ESBELL 4/16/2011 10:29PM

    Girl - this here blog is exactly why you is da MOD! you are an amazing woman. Every time I read all that you are going through, and still planning your races, I know that I am just making D-U-M-B excuses for not being out there hitting the pavement.

Best wishes for you and your fur-kid - I hope the job situation gets sorted out soon so you can get that knee fixed!

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JPONCIN 4/16/2011 10:18PM

    Having that surgery will be sooooo worth it. It's quite a predicament, but you are a strong woman and you will be tough through this.

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DISPATCH91 4/16/2011 10:09PM

    I am so sorry my sweet friend. That is what happened to knee #1 so I definately feel your pain. You need crutches to walk on afterwards. Another friend had their knee done and was on crutches and healed quicker than I did without them. Of course I had a sorry doctor and he did more damage than good. Check out your doctor before hand.

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WILDRICE99 4/16/2011 5:17PM

    WoW! Changing jobs would cause enough stress...

Hang in there, I know how strong you are. Let us know what you decide. I'll be thinking of you...

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SLCOLMAN 4/16/2011 4:46PM

    I really hope that you can figure out the best plan of attack in order to meet all of your goals! I know that with your determination that you will be successful!! Wishing you much luck!!

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KISHU1 4/16/2011 4:10PM

    I so feel for you and send positive thoughts and prayers your are a strong person and you will get through this..and I am glad that you are going to go and have the surgery is no good for you either physically or mentally to always be in such pain emoticon..and as was stated below, the sooner you have surgery, the sooner you will be able to heal and move forward with your cant put yourself in harms way just to satisfy your company...jump out of a truck in your condition..what are they thinking..well they,re put yourself first and do what is best for you!

Comment edited on: 4/16/2011 4:12:27 PM

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_LINDA 4/16/2011 3:03PM

    This blog you have written is showing just how motivating you are. Pushing through pain to get it done. Willing to work in such a high risk environment and making the absolute most of it that you can. The list goes on and on. I wish I could adopt you and make you a Canadian citizen so you could get your surgery for free. Or better yet, give you my health card and pretend you are me, as they are used to seeing my name in the hospital system lol.
I am so glad you are getting your knee fixed, you can't live like that. I am thinking your employers are pretty heartless. If they value you as a worker, they should be offering to PAY for your surgery, not tell you to suck it up. I would be giving them a piece of my mind with that comment..
I am with you in the slow healing department, but I wish for you, this once that it goes well and you heal fast for a change -just make sure your diet is well rounded and filled with good nutrients.
Sending healing and soothing thoughts your way,

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2NEWSTARTAGAIN 4/16/2011 2:52PM

    My prayers and thoughts will be with you through your tough decision. Your health and well being are the most important because without them a job would be useless. You are being VERY strong and you are a strong person

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FITTIFF2B 4/16/2011 2:38PM

    I am glad to hear you are going to go for the surgery I feel for you girl! You know what I have been through with my ankle. And now I am looking at surgery on my thumb. I feel like dang how much of my body can they fuse! But here is the thing. The sooner I do the thumb the less likely it will have to be as bad. The longer I wait the more bad things they will have do to. So sooner better!Same for you the sooner you get that knee taken care of the better you will be. You might even have many more years if running if you do it sooner rather than roughing it out!!!

AND you are a great motivator!!!!! Never put your self down like that! Youhave so much to give! I mean look at all you are going through and yet your are still determined to lose weight and get to your new assignment!
Keep up in touch! I will be thinking of you!

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BEAUTIFLDZSTR 4/16/2011 2:34PM


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Torn ACL - Nothing's Flying

Thursday, April 07, 2011

I've been in pain for a while. Five weeks ago, an x-ray showed a stress fracture. So I've been taking it easy, waiting for it to heal. but the knee is still really swollen and painful, so I got an MRI. The surgeon called.

Bad news. I have a ruptured ACL. I'm supposed to fly to North Carolina tonight for the Flying Pirate. When the surgeon first told me I had "damage" on the phone, i asked him if I could walk. He said yes.

We misunderstood each other. He meant that I could go from "here to there" but he freaked when he realized what I had in mind. I'm bummed, but if I'm honest, my leg hurts a lot, and 13 miles was going to take some doing. I feel so strong inside, but my body is betraying me more day by day. After the debacle in January, followed by this, my confidence is really shaken, and I wonder if my racing days are over.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITTIFF2B 4/16/2011 2:34PM

    I am glad to hear you are going to go for the surgery I feel for you girl! You know what I have been through with my ankle. And now I am looking at surgery on my thumb. I feel like dang how much of my body can they fuse! But here is the thing. The sooner I do the thumb the less likely it will have to be as bad. The longer I wait the more bad things they will have do to. So sooner better!Same for you the sooner you get that knee taken care of the better you will be. You might even have many more years if running if you do it sooner rather than roughing it out!!!

And you R a great motivator!!! Never put your self down like that!!! You have so much to give. I mean look at all you are going through and yet you are still determined to lose The weight!!! Keep in touch! We are here for you!!!

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FITTIFF2B 4/16/2011 2:33PM

    I am glad to hear you are going to go for the surgery I feel for you girl! You know what I have been through with my ankle. And now I am looking at surgery on my thumb. I feel like dang how much of my body can they fuse! But here is the thing. The sooner I do the thumb the less likely it will have to be as bad. The longer I wait the more bad things they will have do to. So sooner better!Same for you the sooner you get that knee taken care of the better you will be. You might even have many more years if running if you do it sooner rather than roughing it out!!!

And you R a great motivator!!! Never put your self down like that!!! You have so much to give. I mean look at all you are going through and yet you are still determined to lose The weight!!! Keep in touch! We are here for you!!!

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FITTIFF2B 4/16/2011 2:32PM

    I am glad to hear you are going to go for the surgery I feel for you girl! You know what I have been through with my ankle. And now I am looking at surgery on my thumb. I feel like dang how much of my body can they fuse! But here is the thing. The sooner I do the thumb the less likely it will have to be as bad. The longer I wait the more bad things they will have do to. So sooner better!Same for you the sooner you get that knee taken care of the better you will be. You might even have many more years if running if you do it sooner rather than roughing it out!!!

And you R a great motivator!!! Never put your self down like that!!! You have so much to give. I mean look at all you are going through and yet you are still determined to lose The weight!!! Keep in touch! We are here for you!!!

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MAPLELEAFMOM 4/15/2011 6:00PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon I am so sorry to hear this. I can somewhat relate to the 'will I run again?' thoughts! I had to cancel so many races last year due to my foot injuries and it is sooo hard to watch those races come and go with me not doing them. When you really want to run so bad and can't it just plain sucks! In fact I was supposed to do the Big Sur Marathon coming up in a couple of weeks :( It is sooo frustrating but we will get through this.

We WILL most definitely run again emoticon and darn it we will run again together once we are both healed up! As hard as it is, you have to rest up and heal. Keep us posted on how things go and I'm sending lots and lots and lots of healthy recovery thoughts and prayers your way emoticon

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DMSGLASS 4/14/2011 12:59PM

    It can be repaired, racing will just be on hold for a while. My husband tore his PCL last year, had surgery in June, was told it would be 9 to 12 months before full recovery and "at his age" (52!!) to expect it may take longer before he could run or play basketball again. (Tore it when he fell coaching Special Olympics basketball.) Well, I'm happy to say that it took only seven months for him to be able to slowly jog and make "cuts" as one would when rapidly changing directions on a basketball court! Don't give up!

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FITTIFF2B 4/11/2011 10:22PM

    Hi Cat! It is me TIFF just got me a new page and name but it is still me AKA fittytiff.
Anyway i am so sorry to hear all the trouble you are going through! Hang in there. Things will come around I have to believe that. You are going to have to accept that for now you need to not race. But you will again soon. I have confindence in you. You can do it. In the mean time take it slow!!

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ENDUROVET 4/11/2011 2:21PM

    Man, I am really sorry to hear about your torn ACL...

I've been oscillating myself between stubborn pride at getting my last half DONE, & wondering how much damage I did to my foot in the process (after all, the warning system was ON - it hurt like hell!).

But I hope you can get surgical repair scheduled quickly - no one likes the prospect of surgery, but once it's fixed you can concentrate on rehab/recovery!

hang in there, luv Val

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BEAUTIFLDZSTR 4/10/2011 5:10PM

    NO THEY ARE NOT.... they cant be girl with all the crap I have been going thru with my leg you are one of the people that has kept me believing injuries cant stop you....

This will heal it will all be good

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DEBULACLARK 4/10/2011 4:38PM

    Cat - hugs! Hang in there. Listen to the Dr. Don't push yourself. I'm praying that you can have surgery and all will be well - but let yourself heal.

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JPONCIN 4/10/2011 5:50AM

    Your racing days are NOT over. Please just give yourself time to rest and heal, and you will run again.

I tore my ACL in 2003, while I was 8 mos. pregnant. And couldn't have the surgery to get it fixed because I was pg. Then still couldn't have it because I was breastfeeding. Then got pg again! It was 3 years before I had the surgery done, and another year before my knee felt good enough for me to run. It can be a slow process, but you WILL run again, never doubt that. Hang in there, friend.

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JHADZHIA 4/9/2011 1:37AM

    So very sorry :( An ACL can be repaired, was this not offered?? Athletes have injuries like this all the time and get back to their sports. The key is proper rest and rehab with physio and then strengthening later..
Wishing you a better prognosis..
Make sure you get thoroughly checked out.. Have you had your bone density checked out lately?
I am sure you are not done yet. You can recover from this..
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GETFIT2LIVE 4/8/2011 1:25PM

    So sorry about the injury; take good care of yourself and give your body time to recover.


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HOPEFULANGE 4/8/2011 12:35PM

    Find something else you love to do while you heal. Hopefully you'll get back to it eventually! emoticon

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CASSIEMARY28 4/8/2011 11:02AM

    Hugs, Cat!! Focus on healing right now, and stay positive. :)

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HICIM705 4/8/2011 6:30AM

    So sorry about this news. . .concentrate on getting better - THEN worry about walking/racing again - some time in the future. Maybe you just need to take it easy and heal!!!

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BRAVAH 4/8/2011 3:48AM

    Dear Cat!

I'm so sorry to hear that! What a bummer!!! So, what are you going to do about the race? I really feel for you! If I couldn't do my daily walks, I think I'd die! What is the doc suggesting you do about it? I'm sending you healing energy and some confidence!!!


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    oh it's not over, you just need to give yourself time to heal. Hang in there!!! Feel better soon.

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ESBELL 4/7/2011 11:35PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
Don't think the racing is completely over,
but give your body some time to recover.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MSEMBERSTORM 4/7/2011 10:24PM

    Oh hun. Nope your racing days can't be over yet. But you do need to take care of yourself and heal completely. Rest and get to feeling better!

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SUETINGE 4/7/2011 9:45PM

    Oh Cat, I'm so sorry. emoticon I know how much you love to travel and do those races. Hopefully you'll be able to get it fixed, have a quick recovery and be able to race again.

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RAVEN1025 4/7/2011 7:19PM

    Oh no! I am so sorry to hear about your injury! Rest and focus on healing fully. I know you love doing those races, you need to really let yourself heal so you don't reinjure or worsen your injury.
Sending healing thoughts your way!!

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SLCOLMAN 4/7/2011 6:35PM

    I am so sorry to hear about your injury. I hope that you are able to get it repaired quickly and have a speedy recovery!

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    i'm sorry for your injury and i hope you have a successful surgery with a speedy recovery.

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AMUNET_RA 4/7/2011 5:36PM

    I'll admit, I giggled when I imagined your doctor's face when you told him what you had in mind...

...but BIG ((HUGS)) to you, my friend! I know how much you love your races! I don't believe your racing days are over, as Jennifer says, your spirit will find a way! Even if it means swimming your stress away for a while!

and I LOVE Holly's idea of a 3-legged race!! emoticon


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SIXFULLERS 4/7/2011 4:39PM

    Oh Cat. How disappointing and frustrating and painful! I am so sorry about this latest turn of events. It seems you have been given a plateful lately. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

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DANIMITE2 4/7/2011 4:37PM

    That.Is.So.Sad!!!!! That's a major injury. What is the plan to repair it?

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NIGHTSKYSTAR 4/7/2011 4:31PM

    First off, BIG HUGE HUGS. I am so sorry and i know the pain and I dont know how you are doing it. I am so sorry!!
I'm also sorry about the race. I know how you look forward to them!! Are you still coming to the US?
I'm here for you...this sucks and theres no other way to put it. If i could i'd fly down and we could tie our bad legs together and do a 3 legged race!

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MRSCRITTERS 4/7/2011 4:14PM

    I had never heard of this injury until a few years ago when one of our dogs had it and needed surgery, since then ive heard lots of people have this injury.

I hope you can find some exercise that is less stressful on your knee. It must be very disappointing to not take part in the event you had planned. You have done so well so far, so please dont let this set you back.

Good luck if you are having the surgery emoticon

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WILDRICE99 4/7/2011 4:14PM

    Oh Cat, I'm sorry to hear this news. I know how much you love traveling and hitting all the "fun" long distance races. Hang in there. It will be some time, but you will heal and race again. If you truly love it that much, your spirit will find a way!


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5% Challenge

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

I am determined to lose weight this year. I am so sick of being stared at on the street, wondering if a chair will support me, and sitting on sidelines, watching life pass me by because I'm too tired to participate.

I started Atkins almost two weeks ago and have been doing well -- I am down 12 lbs, which is amazing for me. I had a weak moment in the grocery store today and wanted carbs so badly, but I want to be slender even more, so I didn't give in.

I often talk about my obesity as though it just happened, and I think that's because I almost have reverse anorexia. I still remember clearly what I looked and felt like before I got fat, but I just realized that I've been 200+ for over 10 years now. Sometimes, I accidentally see myself in a mirror, and I'm horrified at what I've become.

So in the next few weeks, I'm going to lose 5% of my weight. It's the point of the challenge, but it's a special number for me. When I hit that goal, I'll be at the magic deuce and a half. Why happy about being enormous still? Until I was 250, I led a fairly normal life, but it was a tipping point when I crossed it. Hypertension, cholesterol, breathing issues, problems sleeping, edema, joint problems, etc. Even losing these 12 lbs. has made a huge difference. I've lost 3" off of my waist and another 3" off of my "belly roll". That's translated into a full dress size. I can put on my socks and tie my shoes without effort now! I wish I were kidding. It's these small quality of life issues that have had me feeling blue for so long.

I'm a goal-oriented person who loves to set ambitious targets. I'm going to resist that inclination for the time being and focus instead on the process: eating on the Atkins Induction plan, exercising regularly, and getting enough rest. I'm determined, and I'm not letting anyone or anything distract me from doing what I need to do to get to where I want to go, whether I get there quickly or challenge the Slowest Loser for the title.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Oh, boy, do I know how you feel. I am almost at the point where I feel "normal." But it took a long time to get here, and it took a lot of little victories like the one you experienced to prepare me for the bigger ones. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FUNFROG79 3/4/2011 11:11AM

    Fantastic attutide! emoticon

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QUEMBEL1 2/27/2011 6:55AM

    emoticonI love the enthusiasm! I just realized that I haven't really been that determined to lose weight in years. I think it is the fear of failing again that holds me back.

So are you in a group or going by the book?

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50FITNFUN 2/27/2011 6:25AM

    emoticonI have every faith in you. 5% is a realistic goal. I know we'll be celebrating that loss with you real soon!

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DISPATCH91 2/26/2011 12:42PM

    emoticon emoticongo Cat go

You can do this and I am so happy the 12 pounds have left the building.

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AMUNET_RA 2/24/2011 9:38PM

    I am always so proud of you and this is no exception! I have complete faith in you and will celebrate along with you when you reach that magic number!!

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COFFEECRAZE 2/24/2011 10:19AM

    Way to go! Plow through and keep your eye on the prize!

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CHRISTINECAN 2/24/2011 8:12AM

    Congrats on the loss thus far. The Challenges are so great because they give you this specific number to focus on. You will make it to that number because the support is great, the strategies are clever and YOU are STRONG!

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    Your on your way to healthier and fit life!

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RUNNINGOMA 2/24/2011 6:43AM

    emoticon blog!
I can so relate to what you say. I remember too, having my thighs rub together and getting chaffed. Having to suck it in and hold my breath to tie my shoes, etc.
Those 12 pounds (and wow! the inches too!!) have already made a difference. You are doing so well! Especially on not giving in to that temptation to deviate from your plan.
Keep up with those goals! Success is just a day and pound at a time!

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BRAVAH 2/24/2011 3:08AM

    Hi Cat!

Awesome! That sounds like determination and a great attitude! You're off to a great start, and I know that you can do it. Already making progress and reaping the rewards! I love that you can put on your socks and tie your shoes easier. That must feel great! Keep up that incredible intensity, and you'll reach that 5% before you know it!



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SIGNAL38 2/24/2011 2:36AM

    emoticon on losing 12 pounds! emoticon

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JANIE724 2/24/2011 1:00AM

    I'm so proud of you - and you should be proud of yourself as well! It's all about focus, positive thoughts, and knowing that you CAN do it! Congratulations now, and for your journey!

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JHADZHIA 2/24/2011 12:27AM

    Congrats on the weight loss!! That is amazing!! The 5% sounds doable for sure!
Keep up the great work!!!

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KATYUNLEASHED 2/23/2011 9:40PM

    Great job on your weight loss so far! I am confident that you can do it too! You have been able to redirect your thoughts (at the grocery store)....anything is possible.
Best wishes,

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CJBAGGINS 2/23/2011 7:52PM

    That's interesting that there was a 'tipping point' in your journey.

I hope you don't mind a cheerleader on the sidelines (or many as evidenced by the comments) encouraging you in this challenge that you have set for yourself.


And well done on the loss so far, and the inches dropped!

Just think how you will feel after you lose that 5%!


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50FITNFUN 2/23/2011 7:33PM

    You are a strong, confident, capable woman and a great friend to all who know you. The fact that you participate in all the races despite the many medical issues/challenges has always been a huge inspiration to me. In those times that I am ready to throw in the towel and give up hope, I remind myself of all that you have (and continue to) push through.

I am so happy for your recent success with the the Atkins Induction and diet plan. I think the 5% weight loss goal is a good one. I am following Weight Watcher's Points Plus plan and have the same 5% goal to go after.

Congrats on winning the battle of the carb cravings in the grocery store. That can be he hardest place to fight a craving since everything to satisfy the craving is readily available.

You know how it meal, one day at a time. You can do this, I know it!

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IMAGINE_IT 2/23/2011 6:00PM

    Congrats on already dropping 12lbs!! emoticon emoticon I think you have the right Mindset..and you will lose those 5%...just stay foccused on your Goal!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ESBELL 2/23/2011 4:48PM

    emoticon In my minds eye you are a strong, beautiful woman (okay, but maybe not green) You will be even more amazing as you reach your goals & beyond!

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FIERYSPARKED 2/23/2011 4:13PM

    We're going to do this.
I have the same problem "reverse anorexia" or whatever. I still think I'm a 17 year old hottie. lol

As for the Atkins - whatever works for you. Some people can function with low carb, some can't.

I've tried it and I felt like eating a small child.

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TO_BE_FIT 2/23/2011 12:51PM

    You can do it! emoticon

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SUETINGE 2/23/2011 12:24PM

    Great job, Cat! I know you can do it.

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FLORIDAFAN 2/23/2011 12:10PM

    YOu can do it Cat! Great job so far and I know that you will keep it up!

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BEXTRESS27 2/23/2011 11:58AM

    YOU CAN DO IT!!! emoticon You are strong emoticon and goodness knows there is plenty of good food out there without carbs! emoticon I am clapping my hands because I believe in Cat-Fairies!!!

emoticon emoticon

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ENDUROVET 2/23/2011 11:55AM

    I have been frustrated w/my own lack of progress, so maybe saddling up for this 5% challenge is also where I need to start...

Oh, & a big **WOOT!!!** for 12 lbs lost, that's fabulous!

Comment edited on: 2/23/2011 11:56:14 AM

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JUDIL62 2/23/2011 11:55AM

    Great job! Keep focusing on the positive! We can do this.

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NIGHTSKYSTAR 2/23/2011 11:51AM

    I am so proud of you!!! You are determined and its paying off. good for you!! YOU ROCK!

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