Sunday, May 12, 2013
Ok, I realize that I won't keep up with blogging every day. I am studying for my MFA in animation and visual effects and classes can be demanding, especially near the end of the courses. Classes end next week, and I've already submitted my final pieces. All of a sudden I feel at loose ends. I've achieved a major goal, and now I want a reward. I want to continue thinking positively so my reward will be to spend some of my newly free time reading.
My mini-goal is to focus entirely on my reading and sipping water while I read. I will put nothing else in my mouth except ice cubes.
That is my reward and a mini-goal in positive terms, and it was a bit of a challenge to write it that way. I kept wanting to say I won't eat this or that, but I find that if I think of a food or specifically write about it then I start obsessing about it and then I want to eat it. It is better for me to focus on the way that I want to be, as if the food weren't a major part of my pleasure and reward system.
I hope you will take a moment to share your goals in positive terms. I love to see them.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Today I am happy to be me and I see myself achieving my goal for this week of eating protein with every carb serving. No negative thoughts; I'm being positively positive. While I know that I may not achieve my goal, I will forgive myself if I don't.
I went to see my doctor on Thursday and he explained to me that our self talk makes a physical difference in our brains. He told me that there are triangular cells on the outer lining of the brain that are changed depending on our outlook and that simply talking nicely to ourselves will make you feel better. That was really a surprise since I thought it was just spiritual, not physical. I am now very motivated to be positive.
Every day I will write something positive. Please join me in sharing your nice thoughts.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
I love the holidays, but I hate the holidays. Christmas is my favorite time of year with sparkling lights, snow, happy exclamations as special foods and sweets are presented and consumed with delight, and presents that represent our love for one another. But Christmas makes me so tired, and I don't want to decorate or take down the decorations. I'm happy to eat the food and sweets, and sit in front of my computer and gain weight.
I'm going back to Fitness Ridge in January and I am hauling my husband with me this time. He is in for a major shock when he discovers that he is expected to work out all day without breaks long enough for hime to walk off campus for a smoke.
Here I am almost dead from climbing straight up for nearly an hour. I fell twice and was the last one, but I made it. They called it Saddle because the top of the climb is a saddle between two peaks. It was hard, but totally rewarding.
Saturday, October 06, 2012
I have fibromyalgia. I try to stay positive, at least in my blogging. It has been really hard for the last two days. On Thursday I was angry and irritated with my husband. I wrote my blog about play that day as a mental break from my mood. Today I feel bad, both physically and emotionally. It is cloudy and windy outside with breaks of sun, an interesting mix, but that doesn't seem to be changing my mood.
I feel like whining today. I hurt in spite of my medication and my motivation is nearly zero. I know I should walk and I should do homework, but I just can't seem to move. Just do it! Yeah, okay. Not happening. Okay, just do it! Around and around the litany goes in my head. Do it, you'll feel better. Do it, you'll feel less pressure. Just do it. Okay. I'm still sitting here. One arm is aching and my hand is starting to go numb, some of my fibromyalgia symptoms.
I'm amazed I'm writing this blog with my low energy and high pain levels. I think I'll change the subject.
In the last day I've been adding things to my bucket list like visiting Winchester Mystery House, the mansion built by the crazy lady. She thought she could avoid death spirits by continuously building her house, and by her death she had built hundreds of rooms. Money was no object and the furnishings are amazing in the photos I looked at. It is in San Jose, next to San Francisco.
I also want to visit Carlsbad Caverns, skydive, bungee jump in New Zealand, visit Yellowstone, and Rotorua. Yellowstone and Rotorua and both geothermal areas and that fascinates me. I think that just writing down what you'd like to do brings you one step closer to doing it.
My sister is washing our dogs today. My husband is taking a nap. Sherry is at her mother's house pressing apples into cider. You get one guess as to who is having the most fun. That's right, my sister. She is taking care of the dogs she loves, cooing at them, brushing them, and making them beautiful. When they are finished all of them feel better. I can hear them. There is the sound of splashing, then "You're doing a really good job of getting ME wet!" More splashing and cooing. Notice I said my sister was having the most fun. The dog looks miserable. The water is nice and warm, she feels good after, so why doesn't she like her bath?
Maybe the difference between a pet and an owner is that the owner has no one to subject them to things such as baths, walks, and other things that are good for her. The owner has the freedom to choose. That is why we talk about motivation - because that is a positive choice. No one says "I am motivated to sit in front of my computer and play Farmville until my eyes see double," or "I am motivated to eat too many cookies and candies."
Motivation is a positive choice that is very difficult to make when your mood is depressed, sad, or angry, or when you are tired or in pain. I think the best action when you are moody is to forgive yourself for not being motivated and then get someone to kick your butt.
Friday, October 05, 2012
Another Friday is a good thing. It means that, for most of us, the work week is ending and we have free time to play for two days. Unfortunately play is usually shop, garden, clean house and do other chores we didn't get to all week. But every one of us needs real play, the kind that we did when we were kids.
I remember playing when I was young. We'd go outside and roam the neighborhood, sometime with our friends and sometimes alone. Our house backed up to the San Gabriel Mountains, a rugged mountain wilderness at the northeastern edge of the Los Angeles area. I'd follow the bridal trail right behind my house over towards Jet Propulsion Laboratory to meet up with my friends. We would go up the canyon to our "fort," a special manzanita tree that created a wonderful tent of its outer branches, reaching nearly to the ground. After a rainstorm water would roar down the gully at one side of our fort, creating a whole new beauty and place to play.
One day we were hiking the fourth trail up (we'd named the trails by how far into the mountains they were from the bridal trail) and went around a bend, suddenly meeting up with freshly turned dirt and a bulldozer digging out new home sites in the pristine wilderness. We could have been devastated that our "playground" was being ruined, but where the housing developers were dumping their excavated dirt, it made a soft mountain that we climbed and slid down like it was snow. We went up and down until dark when our parents yelled for us from the houses. Although I don't recall what happened, I would be willing to bet that our parents were appalled at the amount of dirt we brought home.
That game only lasted a few days, but it has lasted a lifetime in my memory. Now I play in the same way by hiking in the wilderness and rafting. Active play is important to everyone. It is a major stress-buster and your problems vanish in the experience of the moment. You usually don't eat when you are actively playing (like hiking, splashing in the surf, throwing the ball for your dog). I have fibromyalgia so I understand the limitations that disability can place on people who may want to be active but can't. But if you can, go have some fun and play.
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