Wednesday, June 30, 2010
I have maintained for quite a while but it seems that the weight creep has caught up on me. I have put back on 15 pounds in the past 6 months! THERE, I said it loud and clear - no hiding, no denial.
Thou I still watch what I eat and am no way close to being the old person was, my loosey goosey way of keeping track has bit me in the bootie. So, as the true fighter I have become, I am back to the grind of doing what I know works. Track my food, track my workouts and keep it front and center in my world to stay on track. The 172.6 I put in today isn't my low of the week, but it is what it is when is was - 10 minutes ago that is what the dang scale said. It was 167 last time and I will bet there is some bodily reason or the big jump and it will go back down BUT, it seems the ups and downs are scooching up on me and I am going to fix this he way I have learned how.
I have been working out and for the past two weeks I have honored myself by bringing back the run after my cardio instead of strength. I do better with more cardio and if I want to have more freedom with food then I have to do more working out. Period. I have not stopped working out since Feb 2008, I have remained strong but at times my effort was short. I have been very present with my effort levels and workouts over the past couple of weeks and know that this is my salvation, so to speak.
So, I have great event in August that I will be on track for my clothes fitting well and lose again but I am going to shoot for getting back to my goal as well as being closer for the work event. I am going to be running at 5.5 a full mile by then as well.
I have so done this before and know I can do it again and I have not let it slip back to the 245+ size I was. I am different now and learning how "normal size" people ebb and flow with their weight has been an eye opener. I have NO experience with maintaining I only knew getting bigger. So, back to the grind and back to using the tools that SP offers to keep me reaching towards my goals.
So, good work out tonight and track my food ad let the system work once again.
I am embarrassed and feel at times like I am huge again BUT THIS IS THE TEST - what will I CHOOSE to do with this.
I CHOOSE TO BE IN CONTROL AND BE A GOOD STEWARD OF MY OWN BODY! period
upward and onward----- nice to be home again....
Thursday, September 24, 2009
18 months with Sparks and 5 months at goal and I am proud that I am in control of my weight. It is a daily "battle", not really the right word, but does reflect how much attention I give maintenance. It is easier to default into losing, but the up and down of natural body fluctuations is the hurdle of maintenance, for me. I have a five pound window and have once gone outside it since being at goal, BUT-- I got back to where I want to be by dropping my calories a bit and focusing on tracking my food better. Each time I gain more confidence that I CAN handle the ups and downs.
My going to sleep mantra lately is "I am STRONG, I am in CONTROL, I CHOOSE my DESTINY daily".
The ups and downs of maintenance is the journey. In my "old" life, the ups were 100 to 1 to the downs so of course I do not believe that when I go to the up side of my window that I will bring it down again. But, each time I do is another confirmation of my new tools and ability.
For anyone that thinks once the weight is gone the battle is over... HELLO- this is the battle to win and I am WINNING!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
This past weekend I took my 15 1/2 year old daughter with me to my moms to celebrate my moms 75th birthday. Coming home strolling through the airport I thought people were glancing at me because I was cute (not in a vain way but I did notice that people would glance at me). Not being considered cute and pretty for my whole life of heavy girl, it is now different to have people look at me as pretty, I am still getting used to it, but I did think I looked good that day and thought that was why people were glancing my way.
But, reality check from 15 year old daughter --- she said "Mom, did you notice people are staring at you" I said yes, I am cute today, for which she said "No mom, they are looking at you because you have those men's socks on"
UGH, to funny, from the mouth of a child. Ha ha ha. My hubby said she was wrong but I must say, her comment made me stop and think again about feeling cute in that outfit.
Another moment to blog on for the memory book.
Friday, August 07, 2009
I am working really hard to be as optimistic as possible, I have to, what choice to I have? The world is crazy, jobs are being loss, paychecks cut, all scary stuff. And, I work in the non-profit sector--- oh my. So, I must stay positive, I must because the alternative is to have people lives lost, children not educated, mothers not provided health care--- wow. Not that I or my work save everyone, but our work does infact make that big of a difference. And, this economy puts a risk to this. But, I refuse to allow it and I refuse to not be anything but the most positive- every day, every minute, every second!
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