Sunday, May 02, 2010
I think people really develop patterns in life. Patterns of behavior and habits. I have a "diet" pattern. I change my lifestyle, add exercise, start eating healthier, etc. I typically last about 3-4 months. Sometimes a little more sometimes a little less…
Well, this time, I have not stopped. It is the beginning of Month 5. I am definitely facing that point in the pattern where I typically stop. This time is different. I still login daily, I still drink my water, I still plan my food for the day, I still check in to the message boards to keep up with everyone. I truly think of this as a permanent lifestyle.
But my exercise has slowed to a crawl. Strangely, I love exercise. I love my morning walk. I love the gym I go to. I love how I feel when I have worked out hard. I love how my body feels when I strength train. But, I have almost stopped completely. 2 weeks in April I did no exercise. The other 2 weeks I did minimal.
I feel like I need to know why. I plan it. I intend to go. Then when it is time, critical part here..... I tell myself I can do it later. Later sometimes happens, but rarely. I know with the gym and strength training, as much as I love it, I did go too fast. I hired a personal trainer and I was making progress so fast, we changed up to work on my "endurance". I was wasted when I was done. The weights were higher and I could barely do the 6-8 he asked for. That is when I started telling myself I needed a break.
Then the walks started to become optional. Oh, I will do it later in the morning between meetings. Oh, well, I can walk after work. Then 4 or 5 or 6 days go by and no walk. I love to walk. I love the cool air in the morning. At this time of year, I love listening to the the birds while I walk.
So why am I letting this happen? I feel like I should know why this is my pattern. But does it really matter? Do I just attack this like any other problem in my life and look for tasks, small steps to get over this? I did go to the gym this week. I told myself no pressure. Just go and do the fun stuff. Leave when you want. A little is better than none. I was there an hour. Maybe that is the answer. No pressure, just do something. I can work on continuous improvement later. Right now I just need to get moving.
Monday, March 22, 2010
I have really been struggling with overeating. I recognize it is comfort eating. There are a lot of layoffs at my company lately. It seems like every other week I get an IM from someone asking if I heard about so and so....
So, off I go to the kitchen in search of comfort. Then one day leads to two days. Then I am falling right back into the habit of eating garbage (large quantities) day after day.
Well, I am re evaluating! I am taking this day by day. I am NOT going to go off my food plan today. There is plenty of calories and variety to my meal plan. It is healthy. If I find myself searching for unplanned food, I will stop myself. It is only for today!
I am strong. I am in control of myself. Eating does not keep my job or any of my coworkers jobs safe. I will continue to build one day at a time.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
I did it. I scheduled my physical. I went and had the blood work this morning so we can discuss the results next week during the physical. I also scheduled the dreaded mammogram for Friday and hopefully those results will be in before the physical also.
I don't know why I hate it so much. Well, I do. It's mostly that yucky pap smear business. But it has to be done. And this time, getting the blood work ahead of time, the dr. can actually discuss the results with me. Usually, I get handed the sheet for blood work after the physical and so I never find out the results. I assume they were OK, or someone would have called.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
All morning I have been down on myself because I overate yesterday. About 2400 calories…
I had been eating well all day, until about 6 PM. I was hungry so I ate dinner. (a not very tasting vegetable beef soup). I wasn't satisfied, so I ate more... Hmm, still not feeling satisfied, so I grabbed a handful of chocolate covered almonds. (Now at this point, I would still have been within my calorie range) But I was still roaming around. I then ate 2 chocolate covered cherries, and then found a bag of dark chocolate M&Ms. Please..... the big bag that was only about 2/3 gone.
So you can see why I was disgusted with myself. Why didn't I stop with the chocolate covered almonds? Why did I have to keep going? Then I had a shower thought. I did a lot of really good things yesterday. I got my 6 fruits and veggies, I drank 20 glassed of water, I walked 2.3 miles at 5 AM, then in the afternoon went to the gym for strength training and some cardio on the elliptical. It was a good day. I did some overeating from 6 to 6:45. Why is it that all I remembered this morning when I woke up was that 45 minutes of overeating? I need to cut myself some slack... And figure out a plan to nip it in the bud if it happens again.
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