Monday, March 10, 2014
I'm a nerd. I looked forward to Neil Degrasse Tyson's revamp of Sagan's Cosmos and watched it excitedly last night. While I hope future shows in the series tone down the whiz-bang effects of the space ship, it was a fun ride. I'll keep watching.
I want to think about how I fit into the cosmos. We are all star dust, after all, right?
It's so pretty here. I live in California's redwood forest. The trees, the Russian River, the hills, the wine country, it's all so beautiful. I am grateful to be surrounded by nature's beauty and all of it is star dust.
Today is my day to focus on the beauty of the nature of my body and to work with it and not poison it. My body's star dust functions a certain way. My body is it's own micro-cosmos that uses nutrients and exercise and oxygen to function and thrive. Which star dust I eat and don't eat matters to my body. I will draw my strength from my body to do the activities of the day. If I want a strong, healthy body, and I do, I know what I need to do.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Yesterday afternoon, I was hungry. I looked at my plan and saw hard boiled egg and spinach salad. Sounds good and I have the hb egg already in the fridge, so it will be pretty easy.
I pealed the egg and thought, I would really rather have this with mustard. That's no problem, so I ate it that way and then got to thinking I had some calories left over, so I could eat some more. That is when the daemon came.
He won the first battle. I had a slice of bread and salsa and an 80 calorie frozen treat, neither of which was on the plan. He was still hungry. I know I was on the road to a binge. I said to myself,
"You want to make it through one week. You won't feel good if you keep eating now. Give it twenty minutes for the food you've eaten already to register in your body. JUST FOR TWENTY MINUTES you can wait before you give in."
I put on my walking shoes to go into the village. I needed to buy sticking plasters. I convinced myself to pick them up at the pharmacy rather than at the market because there would be too much temptation to pick up a treat at the market.
I did it! I bought the plasters and came back home and didn't eat again until dinner. I stayed within my calorie range for the day.
Thank you, Sparkies, because you were all part of this little victory. I have made my challenge public and the thought of falling off in front of you again was a huge part of helping me win the struggle.
The daemon will be back. This was just one struggle of many. I have you with me, though, and we will not let him win.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Four days following the SP menu plan. I really like this. By shopping only once a week, I am not being tempted to buy foods I shouldn't eat. I have everything I need to make good food. I am learning how I will modify the menu next week, too. I am going to add in some of my favourite spark recipes and make up a batch that I freeze in portions. It will save money and I do love to eat the spark cookbook recipes.
On life --
I've started volunteering at the local school. The kids love hearing me switch between English and American accents. I've a local radio station interested in me, as well, for reading adverts and all. I miss the kids every day, but my daughter calls and I will be going to visit them again soon. My husband came last week and we sorted what belongs to whom. In general, I am happy. When I am happy, it is easier to focus on my health.
The week of SP menu planning experiment is going well. So am I.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
Before I regain ALL the weight I had lost, I know I have to change. Madness, as they say, is doing the same thing and expecting different results. Waking up every morning and saying "this is the day!" and then continuing to make poor food choices was clearly a failed policy.
Now that I am living in the States, I have been seeing adverts for Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem. I don't want to spend the money for those, but wouldn't it be nice to have the planning done and one simply eats the plan food?
That's when I was reminded of the SP menu planner. I can cook, so I have no trouble making my own food and the planner doesn't generate anything tricky anyway.
I turned the menu plan back on, went over the week to swap out what I didn't like, and then generated the shopping list. I went to the store and purchased only the items on my list, less the things I already had.
For two days now I have eaten four times a day in accordance with the plan. My only substitutions have been appropriate ones such as egg whites for egg beaters and an orange for a peach. I had enough calories left in my daily allotment for my glass of red wine, too, so I added that. Other than that, I have been strictly adhering to the menu.
Two days isn't a long time, but it is doing something different that is a positive step in controlling my nutrition. I know it will work if I keep it up. It isn't hard to do. I am sure my body is quite happy. I have been feeling a little hungry from time to time, but that is as it should be. I should be eating when I feel hungry and not because something in the kitchen is calling to me or I feel sad.
Two days. It is a small victory, but it is an important one. My goal is to go the whole week on the menu plan. I am my own Jenny Craig/Nutrisystem! I can do this.
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Major life changes in the last six months:
Decided to divorce.
Moved house from Quito, Ecuador to Guerneville, California
(Includes purchase of a house, packing, unpacking, etc.)
I knew these were all coming, so I tried to prepare myself and to warn myself against eating for stress reasons. It didn't work. I gained back a lot of weight. No more excuses now, though. I'm nearly settled into the new house, the family have departed after the hols, and I can focus on health and happiness.
I've been back on track for about four days now, which is great. I'm feeling good, I have energy -- all the things I know I feel when I do the right things for my body. This is a life project, I understand, and the backsliding has reinforced that. I am VERY glad that I didn't gain it all back. Looking at the positives, I'm in a good place. I love the redwood forest where I live now, I walk into the village to do my purchases, I'm making friends, the house is nice, I can get to San Francisco when I want, and I am fortunate enough that I can live adequately on my retirement. I'm healthy and strong, for which I am grateful.
I won't give up on me. Ever.
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