Friday, April 17, 2009
My sweet little doxie, Heidi, delivered her puppies on Tuesday night--two boys and four girls. Sadly, the last puppy, a little boy, was stillborn. That really broke my heart. Thankfully, the rest are healthy and doing great. The smallest weighed only 3-3/4 ounces, and we are supplementing her with puppy formula to help her get enough nourishment. She's up to 5 ounces as of today. The largest one, also a girl, was 7-1/4 ounces at birth and is up to 10 ounces now! I posted pictures on my web page if you're interested.
I'm so proud of Heidi--she is a terrific mama!
Friday, April 03, 2009
I just had to take a minute to share what a gift my husband is. He has loved me through thick and thin (well, much more thick, really) and never, ever made me feel bad about myself for being overweight. In fact, he can make me feel beautiful even on the days when I feel I'm at my worst. In all my weight loss endeavors, he has always supported me and never judged or criticized me when I didn't do everything right, or even when I gave up. He takes walks with me anytime I ask him to help me get my exercise (and of course, he knows he needs the exercise too) and he regularly tells me what a great job I'm doing.
Tonight, he made me dinner--all healthy, and extremely delicious! Sauteed spinach with garlic, grilled asparagus, and my favorite AmyLu chicken sausages. Yummy!! And to top it all off, he agreed to start using Spark People also to try to lose some weight and get healthier. (He's about 30 pounds overweight and has a lot of heart disease in the men in his family). I hope I can be as supportive to him as he is to me!
I don't know what I ever did to deserve such a wonderful gift in my life. I guess it's just one more example of God's grace!
Saturday, March 07, 2009
This past week, I was invited to a catered dinner event at work. At first, I didn't want to deal with the temptation, figuring I'd probably "blow it" like I always have in the past. But I knew that attending was the right thing to do, because one of my employees was being recognized at the event, and I wanted to be there for her.
In the past on the day of the dinner, I would have eaten very little to "save up" my calories so I could indulge that evening. Of course, that thinking ultimately backfires because I'd be so hungry by dinner I would eat everything in sight, and then feel guilty that I failed. This time, I decided to play it a little different. I ate healthy during the day, maybe a little lighter, but really not much different than a normal day. Before I went to dinner, I was nervous--I didn't know what was being served, so I had no idea what kinds of choices I would have available. I knew I needed to mentally prepare myself. The single most important thing would be to avoid the "all or nothing" trap that I usually fall prey to, so I decided to base success or failure on my ability to stay in control and eat appropriate portions. I figured tracking my food and calories in SP would be challenging, so for this special event I would just use the Note in my food tracker to journal what I ate, but give myself the leeway to not have to figure out the calories.
Dinner started with a salad--delicious greens, apple pieces, with walnuts and cheese and some kind of strange dressing I've never had before. I ate most of the salad but decided to leave some on the plate just to prove I could. So far, so good. Dinner was both a chicken breast and beef tenderloin, with mashed potatoes and veggies. Wow, too much food! I took very small bites at a time and ate slowly, and in the end I ate only about half of everything on my plate. This is easier than I thought it would be! Then came the real test...dessert. It was a rich, creamy, chocolaty, layered something-or-other, and it spelled trouble! Do I just politely say "No, thank you." and watch everyone else eat theirs? I knew that would only lead to me feeling deprived, which usually ends in sabotage down the road, and I just didn't want to risk that. So, I decided I had come this far, I can do this too. This was the first real "naughty food" I had eaten since starting this journey. I took the first bite and savored it slowly. I decided pretty quickly the bottom layer and crust were good, but the top was the best, so I would just stick with eating the top. I ate it slowly and enjoyed every morsel. When I was done, the bottom layers laid on the plate, and I could feel the temptation rising to just eat the rest of it, but I resisted, and it felt good.
In the end, I left feeling proud of myself and the decisions I made...never before have I left half of any food on my plate. That was a first! And, I felt physically comfortable, not bloated and heavy feeling like I usually would have been from eating everything. All the way home, I thought about how good it felt to stay in control, and even though I'm sure the calories were higher than I should have had, and the desert especially was not a "good choice," I knew this was a major victory and a very positive step in my journey. I picked up the next morning as if nothing had happened--I stayed on course--and that really is what it's all about.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
I woke up this morning and weighed myself, and the scale has hardly budged even though I have been working hard at doing things right and have consistently stayed at or below my calorie limit and started walking on the treadmill again. I was frustrated, and I heard that little internal voice nudging me to just cash it in "If you're going to work that hard and not see any results, what's the point?" But after a deep breath and a little attitude adjustment, I decided that I'm not going to allow the scale to dictate my measure of success. Small steps in the right direction will eventually lead to success on the scale, but for now, I must accept that success is in the fact that I am continuing to take those small steps.
And, I made it through another day on track, including zero snacking with cards. Now that's a first!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Well, it's only been a few days since I determined to give up perfectionist all-or-nothing thinking, and I've already been tested a few times. I have had 3 work meetings in the last two days that involved lunch and/or breakfast, and tonight family movie night with pizza. Thankfully I made it through all of these without jumping ship and actually had results that I am proud of. Instead of getting nervous about how I would make it through without eating things I shouldn't or wouldn't know how to count, which usually would have led to me taking a "break" and eating whatever I wanted, this time I went into each situation mentally relaxed and prepared to make good choices with what was available. I decided not to worry about whether or not those choices would fit the plan I am on to a "T" or whether I would find a way to record them in my food journal, because those things were not as important for the moment. I stayed in balance and kept my portions small, and in the end, I even maintained my calorie limit. I also chewed well and kept beverages during mealtime to a bare minimum. It feels really good to know that I stayed in control. Tomorrow we are having family over to play cards, which is usually accompanied by snacking. I am hoping the victories from this week will provide some momentum to continue making good choices.
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