Sunday, October 09, 2011
Today the scale-troll is especially unhappy because I have now lost nine pounds since starting Spark. And I'm not the sparkiest person. I don't always write down what I eat, although I do try to always know the numbers of what I'm eating, and TRY to stay at no more than 1300 cals per day. I don't exercise every day. But I've been in Spark for 12 weeks and have lost 9 pounds so I must be doing ENOUGH things right to be taking the weight off. I've started cleaning my house more, and have started going through my massive photo collection, which swelled greatly last year due to the addition of my dad's and uncle's photos, putting them in order, and pitching a lot (although my son did look adorable in that stroller 21 years ago, I don't need five pictures of it).
The other day I told a friend that I was cleaning up my house thanks to Spark. How so? she skeptically asked. I answered that I had more energy now that I was exercising. But that's not all of it. On nights when I binged, food would do what alcohol and drugs do for many--drug me and provide an escape. Instead of getting something done (like organizing photos) after supper I'd eat dessert, sitting in front of the TV. I could kill hours this way. Nowadays, without the giant portions, I'm not so tempted to veg out. But there's this as well--I'm PROUD of myself for losing this weight. I don't want to lose ground. I WANT to keep up this momentum. I'm happy my house is so clean and I want it to be even cleaner. In other words, aha!
Thursday, October 06, 2011
There are stories about trolls who live under bridges. These stories predate The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. My troll is different. He is not a giant, he is quite small. He loves most to disappoint me. When I step onto the scale, suck in my gut and exhale and look down with fear, he is happy when the scale shows the same number as it did the last time. He is happiest, in fact, when the number goes UP. Lately my troll has not been happy.
I know we are supposed to stay away from the scale. I know we're only supposed to weigh ourselves once a week, at most. But this is a rule I CANNOT keep. I have always been someone who had to know, even if it was the worst news. I had to know whether I was going to have a boy or a girl. So there's no way I'm gonna stay off of that scale. For me, I'm showing remarkable restraint if I weigh myself only once a day.
But--I do weigh at the same point in the day, always. I have drunk one glass of water, with meds, and I have exercised. It's WAY too depressing to weigh after a meal.
Since mid-July, after a slow start, with some ups and downs, the number on my scale has slowly gone down, down down. Pound number eight, as of today. Take that, troll. I now weigh less than I have in more than five years.
Tuesday, October 04, 2011
I'm not what I consider a real "picture" visual person. I read a huge amount, and so deal with words. Very few pictures. But a few weeks ago, for Spark, I posted 1) a picture of the dress I wore to my brother's wedding in 1993 (a size 12) and 2) the motivational collage. The dress is on my refrigerator (so what if company sees it, let them ask) and the collage is in my bedroom, hanging from a bookcase. So I look at them both multiple times a day. And I can tell they're having an effect on me. Before Spark, I would binge eat with bad, bad stuff. High calorie and lots of it. Now, I don't buy the high calorie stuff unless I can buy just a little of it. And even when I binge I almost never go over the upper calorie limit for the day. This is a BIG change. And it's turning into a habit, I think, after two months. I will look at the refrigerator, wondering what to eat, and my gaze will fix on that dress, and I'll think, "I'm going to be wearing you in less than a year."
I've been going through all my photos this fall, lots of albums that I kept after the divorce. I'm trying to clean out my house and so am going to give lots of them to my ex, who never took any with him, and yet who took most of the photos of our son. And there I am, thin! I'm going to post a couple of these too, in other rooms. I was thin before. I can be this way again. Spark is a way of living that is a powerful tool.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
One thing about Chicago is that it's a great place to walk. On Friday, staying downtown, I walked almost 5 miles. Likewise this morning, in Elmhurst with my brother and his dog. And the weather is nice and cool--great walking weather! I am eating out some but tracking and trying to keep my calories low.
Isn't it great how much more you can enjoy life and the places you are if you are fitter and getting more exercise?
Friday, September 16, 2011
It has been a good week. Last weekend I got off track, binged some, although nothing like I used to. Not feeling well didn't help. But I got back to exercising and (mostly) eating right on Monday and kept it up through the week. I even made two Spark recipes and am eating them! And this morning the scale showed it. I'd really, really like to lose pound number 7 before I go out of town next week. I feel it will motivate me to be good (eat light--exercise every day) while I'm gone. Being in Chicago will help--in the city I walk a lot more on a daily basis than I do here.
I met April this week--that was great! But it feels as though many of my Spark friends, like me, aren't blogging as much. It's a busy time of year.
The weather was cool and rainy today. It was a nice change from what we've had, basically, since June. The dogs were happy to get outside, and it was pleasant.
I hope everyone has a serene and productive weekend!
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