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I's gots me some more thoughts tumblin' out!

Friday, April 09, 2010

Someone mentioned that they wanted to try on their wedding dress to see if it still fit...or if it fit again. I started to think about that. My memories of my wedding day are all good, even feeling a little queasy before heading to the church! However, it seems to me that I was heavy when I got married. I don't think I was fat, but definitely I weighed way more than I do now. Cos I've always been heavy, right? So...I tried on my wedding dress. And it fit, very nicely!

Now, I suppose I could have decided that since I was fat (notice it's fat now, not heavy?) on my wedding day and my dress fits, that must mean that I am fat now. The whole wedding dress experiment could have caused a derailment on this healthy journey and perhaps even a binge. Or at least the gloom and doom of depression or "poor me's".

As you've probably guessed by now, that isn't what happened. Instead, I had to rethink my body image from 20 years ago (yes, my 20th wedding anniversary is this June! I got married when I was 9? emoticon ). I happen to think that I look pretty darn good right now. Yes, I have spots that are not my favorite (belly, thighs, bags under eyes), but overall, I'm happy with the way I look and the way my body can get me through the day....even after I abuse it. (Think 5 hours of sleep cos I stayed up too late Sparkin') That MUST mean that I WASN'T fat 20 years ago! emoticon

Now, don't get me wrong, I had my moments of fatness. Some of them could be "credited" to pregnancies, but the rest were just me making poor food choices. Yep, I likes me some french fries! LOL! But, I had this image of me as fat even when I wasn't! How sad is that? I really hope that my daughter doesn't go through this. What kind of life is that? Wow. Deep thoughts and I don't think I'm tall enough to figure them all out... emoticon

Okay, so maybe that's only one thought, but it's a doozy. Didn't help to let it out, though. Brain is still too full. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEEMAWEST 4/9/2010 9:56PM

    Yep, body image is everything. Now I want to see a picture of you in your wedding dress. Come on, girl, show us!

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    You are awesome.
There is NO WAY that I could even think about fitting into MY wedding dress!

OK OK, not in my suit either.

Keep up your great work and happy anniversary (20) in june a little early. Just think, soon you will be the big 30 years of age. LOL

Have a wonderful weekend!

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RWETHAIRYET 4/9/2010 12:00PM

    All my life I heard from my mother about how she was always fat...always! Now, I've seen photos and sometimes she was a little heavy, sometimes not. But there's one thing I know for sure.
A few years ago, my mother gave my daughter Rikki, the dress that she had bought oh so many years ago for her first formal "date" with my dad...late 50's era, black satin, full white chiffon skirt. It was a dress that I was never able to get into, nor my sisters, nor even my oldest daughter. But my 5'5", not 100 lb soaking wet size 3 daughter fit into it perfectly. So much for always being fat.
I always thought I was "heavy" too. But I look back at those photos of me in a bikini when I was 18...I might have been "curvy" but certainly not fat.

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BKNOCK 4/9/2010 10:43AM

    It is amazing when I look back at pictures of me and see how thin I really was and how I thought I was so fat too! I am glad that you have a good body image of your self now and I hope that some day soon I will too!

Thanks for sharing!

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CARLANNIE 4/9/2010 9:17AM

    Yes, I've gone through that whole body image thing, thinking I was 'fat' during my teenage years when in fact, I was just right! I was the right weight for my height, but my track coach was always telling me, "If you could lose 10 pounds, you'd be 'really' fast." What a bad thing to do to a teenager! Anyway, when I look at a photo of me in my first year of marriage, I can't believe I thought I was fat then. My goodness our minds do awful tricks to us.

Congrats to you for pulling that dress out and wearing it so well!

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AUNTIEANNE22 4/9/2010 8:38AM

  I don't have to worry about whether it would fit or not. I sold it after my divorce. It was a size 10 and I'm not there YET.

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BIG_SCOTS_LASS 4/9/2010 8:09AM

    I stumbled across a photo of myself aged 16. I was always called "Fatty" at school, but when I look at the photo I'm bloody not! I wish I was that "fat" now, but I've got a long way to go before I get there (I have to lose at least a small child before I'm even close!).

Fat is relative - what you think is fat isn't necessarily so. Times have changed a lot since I was 16 and these days I'd be considered "normal" (whatever that is).

I'm glad you got into your wedding dress, though. Do you have plans for a renewal of your vows? You could get a second wear out of your dress.
emoticon emoticon

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LMB-ESQ 4/9/2010 7:31AM

    This is great! I wonder if I'd fit in mine? I don't even know where it is, to be honest. It wasn't a traditional wedding dress, it was just a dress that my mom made for me. It was very nice and I loved it, but it wasn't like an heirloom that you would go to special pains to store and then pass on to someone else.

I think I'm smaller today than on my wedding day too (or at least I'd like to think so!) Hmm... maybe I'll have to go dig it out of hiding.

Thanks for sharing! I love your random "tumblin' thoughts" !! emoticon

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DUTCHIEKIWI 4/9/2010 1:35AM

    On this journey we truly learn to love ourselves.
Body and soul, and I tell you, I really needed that!

Not there yet, but certainly on my way.

You look great!, I'd love to see a wedding pic though!


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SANDIE4HLTH 4/9/2010 12:43AM

    Body image is such a huge issue for so many of us women, including me. It takes a lot of work to mature into accepting ourselves, curves and all. I am glad you realized that you weren't fat then, you're not fat now -- you look great!

And congratulations on fitting into the wedding dress you wore twenty years ago. You have worked hard and you should be patting yourself on the back.


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Some of the thoughts going through my head

Thursday, April 08, 2010

I worked out tonight, about 9:00 this time. Day 5 - straight - L3 of the 30-Day Shred. REALLLY didn't want to go upstairs today and work out. But this dang goal is pushing me! emoticon

There is part of the DVD that you cannot skip, cannot fast forward through, cannot least not completely. So, today, in my trying to get ready funk, I slumped on the futon while I waited for the workout to begin. DD comes in with the dog's while I am slumped. I told her "Go away, I'm working out." She just laughed and proceeded to tattle on her brother. go figure.

This week, I'm going to have my family decide what we are eating for the next two weeks. DH provided a list of 14+ meals that he would eat without the sound. You know, that noise they make when you tell them what's for dinner and they don't like it, but they've learned not to say anything if they ever want to eat again? Yeah, that sound. Anyway, it's a great list. Except for a couple of small things. One, no chicken. Not one chicken dinner on there. Lots of red meat, pizza, pork and red meat. Two, some of the kids' favorites are missing (i.e. lasagna). Three, when I bought groceries based on his list, I spent between $40 and $50 more at the store. emoticon Apparently, we need a compromise. My compromise is that the family will agree on the menus so I won't hear the sound! LOL!

DS might be getting a cell phone. DH told him that if he showed that he was responsible, could clean his room and keep it that way, and could show some maturity, DH would consider getting phone for DS to use so he wouldn't have to share with DD. Since DD is a teen, DS gets to use the phone when DD is asleep, out of the house or grounded from the phone. He REALLY wants his own phone. And, it looks like he'll get it.

A boxer wearing a diaper is a funny sight. She's still in heat, but is handling the diaper much better than she did at first.

When it rains, it pours. Told the boss about a month ago that I had some extra time and could take on more work (politically correct terminology for "bored off my rocker!"). Just had two more things added to my overflowing plate today. Yippee!! emoticon In all actuality, I am thankful I have a job, especially one that I like. Plus, I'd rather be busy than bored ANY day!

My name is Brad. No, not really. At a meeting, the organizer called me Brad (we've worked together for about 10 years and I do NOT look like a Brad. Charles, maybe, but not Brad!). The other guys in the meeting have called me Brad ever since. It's been three days...may be here to stay.

There are more thoughts in my head, but it's probably best they stay where they are. Time to shower and pack my lunch for tomorrow. Nite!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RWETHAIRYET 4/8/2010 1:51PM

    Aw, heck, Brad, those are much more pleasant thoughts than what are rattling around mine today.
funny, I call my youngest daughter Fred (Her name is Rikki) Goes back to when I was helping coach Little League for my son, and would often bring Rikki along with of the little Ricky's on my team objected to me calling her that, lol, so I told him it was short for Fredrica...and she has been Fred ever since.

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ANGELHANS 4/8/2010 12:22PM

    Good Job, was a great read. I would of not giving them a choice on what to eat, what is on the tabel is what you eat, I would consider what they would like and go from there but try to make it a healthy way. Good luck I know its not easy, I have a diebetic husband that hates to stop and eat while he is working and loves his red oh well any meat :)

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STEELERCRAZY 4/8/2010 12:06PM

    Hmm. If you're Brad, is DH Angelina?

You are a brave woman (?) for letting the fam pick out meals. I had an insurance conference in Virginia once and was gone for a whole two weeks. I came home not only to a trashed house but the kids were bouncing off the walls. In between their daily meals of hot dogs and frozen pizza, they were allowed all of the Oreos and fudgesicles they wanted. And DH had the nerve to look peturbed AT ME? Good for you on L3 of the Shred. It sounds like an awesome title for a horror movie.


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BKNOCK 4/8/2010 8:00AM

    That is pretty scary going from Barbara to Brad! Are you dressing like the guys?

Wow, you are doing great on the exercise, I am very impressed!

Thanks for the humor, it always helps!

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LMB-ESQ 4/8/2010 7:04AM

    LOL... funny! Thanks for the humor to start my day!

Oh and good luck with the family "sound." I used to cook every meal at home (that was another lifetime) and if they didn't like it, they didn't eat. They learned! And yet somehow, I was the only one who managed to put on weight. Hmmm.... emoticon

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ELYMWX 4/8/2010 2:33AM

    Btw, Brad's not the worst; in my office we had a Scoot and a Rebort there for quite a while. One if the guys is a horrible typer, and for some reason his misspellings for Scott and Robert stuck...

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ELYMWX 4/8/2010 2:28AM

    Here's what we do, Brad: we have a small whiteboard on the fridge with the week's dinner menus on it. My wife and I together fill in 3 or 4 slots, and then the kids get to fill in the rest. We reserve veto rights, and in case of a disagreement, they vote. We also get to cast the tiebreaking vote in case if a three way tie.

We do this on the weekend and then that's the guide for the grocery shopping trip at the beginning of the week. We've lots of different tastes and preferences in the family (my wife is vegetarian, I'm not, and the kids are 9, 7, and 4) so we try to make the meals consist of many individual items that everyone can pick and chose. There is always fresh fruit or veggies on the table, and almost always the makings for salads, in addition to proteins, cooked veggies, and starches. The kids know that whenever they put somehing on their plate, they have to have fruit or veggies.

Good luck!

Comment edited on: 4/8/2010 2:29:33 AM

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SANDIE4HLTH 4/8/2010 1:09AM

    Dear Brad...I mean Charlie...uh...uh...

s on five days straight of Level 3 Shred. I'm sure it's a butt-kicker so I greatly admire your consistent effort. Reminds me to keep on pushin' on.

When I still had kids at home, I always found it a challenge, too, to come up with meals that the family wouldn't make "that noise" about (good way of describing it). I hope you're able to come up with a compromise because it doesn't sound like your family's choices match very well with yours. I wasn't surprised, though, to read they'd chosen much red meat and pizza. My ex-hubby and my children would have done the same thing -- plus lots and lots of McDonalds. Good luck on this!

Thanks for sharing such a range of entertaining thoughts (...the dog one is particularly amusing -- the visual). I really enjoyed your blog.


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    Good luck in reaching all of your goals. Take care, and hang in there.

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GEEMAWEST 4/8/2010 12:36AM

    Awesome blog, Brad. Even if Dutchie didn't know what you were talking about, I did.

Oh My!?! what does that say about me? Never mind, Don't think I want to know.

P.S. If you ever get your family to agree on a menu you deserve a medal of some sort. Not sure what sort, but some sort.

I'm so glad that you are still showering.
Nite, Nite. emoticon

Comment edited on: 4/8/2010 12:37:58 AM

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DUTCHIEKIWI 4/8/2010 12:29AM

    Great blog, I cracked up about the 'bored off my rocker'
Love it, wanted to use it, then rememberred I can not remember when I actually had a chance to BE bored of my rocker... bugger!

Bit confusing with all the DD DS DH DF and all, as this was all new to me not long ago ( thank you spark ;0) )

You got me fooled as well as when I read the 'brad' thing, I scrolled to the top if I was on the right persons page LOL...


Love ya!


Comment edited on: 4/8/2010 12:35:03 AM

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USFBULL 4/8/2010 12:24AM

    Thanks Brad, lol emoticon

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Every morning, you have to make a decision

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

I'll tell you what that decision is in just a minute. First, I need to explain. (As always! LOL!)

When I read, it is for pure entertainment. If I learn something while reading a book, it is purely on accident. I do NOT seek out great works of art, tomes to make me think, anything remotely educational is out! If I think while reading, it is either an accident or I'm thinking about what's for dinner. Well, Lenny48 recommended the book "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett. It is set in the early 60's, has two black maids and one white woman as the main characters and involves something that they do that changes their world.

That right there is enough to keep me from reading it. Sounds way too much like a lesson is going to be taught and I do not want to learn it! LOL! BUT, a friend recommended it and therefore I will read it. Always open to new authors and stories. Always.

Well, not even 100 pages into the book (page 63, to be exact) one of the characters learns a lesson and I listen and learn too. (dang it... emoticon)

The decision we each have to make every morning? Are we going to believe what others say about us? Are we going to let the people in our lives, or even the ones on the periphery of our lives, tell us what to believe? We are each our own person and we each have the power to choose what to believe.

I, for one, have decided that I am in charge of what I believe. No one else. I'll listen. I'll consider. And then I'll decide. Just me. Nuff said.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SANDIE4HLTH 4/8/2010 1:20AM

    This is SO true!

I spent most of my younger years fretting about what others were thinking and saying about me. Slowly, over time, this bad habit became less and less of a habit. I guess to some degree I grew a thicker skin. Now I know a lot of what I was worried about simply didn't matter -- AND (worse) that I'd made a lot of it up in my head. Once I realized that, I learned how to pretty much stop this waste of energy dead in its tracks (a majority of the time). I am much happier for it, too. And I have more room in my head for productive thoughts.

Thanks very much for such an insightful blog.


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RWETHAIRYET 4/7/2010 3:26PM

    heehee, one of the songs on my morning run playlist right now is
Montgomery Gentry's "What Do You Think About That"
"Some people worry bout what other people think, worry bout what they say. Let a little gossip coming from a loose lip ruin their perfect day. Saying blah, blah, blah, just a jackin' their jaw, gonna let it roll off of my back. I don't give a durn what other people think. What do ya think about that"
So you're preaching to the choir here, sister!!!

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RWETHAIRYET 4/7/2010 3:19PM

    heehee, one of the songs on my morning run playlist right now is
Montgomery Gentry's "What Do You Think About That"
"Some people worry bout what other people think, worry bout what they say. Let a little gossip coming from a loose lip ruin their perfect day. Saying blah, blah, blah, just a jackin' their jaw, gonna let it roll off of my back. I don't give a durn what other people think. What do ya think about that"
So you're preaching to the choir here, sister!!!

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GEEMAWEST 4/7/2010 12:24PM

    Well said!

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AUNTIEANNE22 4/7/2010 8:19AM

  I learned it from a job and taught it to my father. You can teach an old dog new tricks.

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LMB-ESQ 4/7/2010 7:19AM

    Great blog! And yes, it is wonderful to finally realize you don't HAVE to listen to other people's opinions and "helpful" comments, isn't it? The only question is, why does it take us so darned long to learn the lesson????? Sheesh, I'm gonna be 50 and I'm still learning it!

Have a great day!

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BKNOCK 4/7/2010 6:35AM

    Too funny! But good answer! Something happened to me in my early 40's, I woke up one day and stopped caring so much about what other people thought and decided it was time to do what I thought and you know what I am a lot happier now!

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DONNAORLENE 4/7/2010 2:17AM

    Didn't even have to read it to know what you'd say! LOL! Two peas in a pod - no bodies gonna' tell me either. That's why I wonder sometimes why people try so hard to make others see things the way they do and they always want to be right. Be a pretty boring world if we all thought and felt the same way, huh?
Oh well, I guess that's life! LOL!

emoticon emoticon emoticon


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STEELERCRAZY 4/7/2010 12:57AM

    And there it is. That's the ONLY way to be happy with yourself. Great blog!

WOOOOooooo! Still haunting you.....LOL!

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You worked out at what time?

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

I started up the stairs around There's a reason for this and I'm gonna tell you! LOL!

Mondays are a long day for me on a regular basis. My group at work deals with companies in Korea, China, Singapore, etc. on a fairly regular basis. Each week, we have a conference call with Korea on Mondays (China is on Wednesday, Singapore is as needed...I skip the Tuesday meeting). Because of Daylight Savings Time and the fact that Korea is on the other side of the world, our meeting doesn't start until 5:15. That means the soonest I leave work on Mondays is 5:30...more often 5:45.

Tonight, I left around 5:35, drove the 35 minutes home and made dinner (leftover ham, who'd a thunk it! emoticon) Grilled the ham with some cheese. Yummy! Anyway, by the time I got everyone's sandwiches made, it was 6:20. DD's first softball game of the season was due to start at 6:30 and I was not dressed for the weather. So, picture this...I take my sandwich and Diet Pepsi with me into the master bedroom. In between bites and sips, I am putting on long johns, two pairs of socks, three layers of shirts and some boots. The sandwich inhaled and me looking like the Michelen man, I run upstairs and grab a couple of blankets. Kiss everyone goodbye and I am out the door!

DD's game goes well (they didn't win, but they played well...mostly). By the time we get home, I can't feel my toes. I guess I needed three pairs of socks! I warm up, eat some popcorn, Spark a little and decide I'm ready to work 9:15. Well, the kids go to bed at 9:30 and I need to tuck them in and make sure they actually get in bed. Can't work out until they are safely tucked. By the time they are, it's 9:45.

Now, other nights, I might have said "To heck with it!" (Literally, I have said that, out loud!) BUT, one of my goals is to do the Shred EVERY day for at least 10 days straight. I'm on a two-day streak. Tonight, I did it! Three days! AND I hit one of my other goals. I was able to do all of the traveling push ups on my toes! Woo Hoo!!!

The point of all this? Apparently, goals can be motivating! Who knew? LOL! Not only did having a very tangible goal get my butt up the stairs and into the wokout, but those same goals kept me from eating everything in the house. Healthy choices and within calorie range again today! Day 3 for that streak too!! I'm on fire!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Okay, time to put out the fire and get some sleep. Spark y'all later.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEEMAWEST 4/7/2010 12:26PM

    You are definitely On Fire, my friend. Keep up the good work!

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RWETHAIRYET 4/6/2010 10:34AM

    hmmm...I was collapsing into bed just about that time, lol...
Good for you for keeping your streak alive!

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AUNTIEANNE22 4/6/2010 8:46AM

  I knew you would keep your streak going. Were you able to get to sleep? I find that if I am too active close to bedtime I can't sleep.

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_MAOMAO_ 4/6/2010 1:54AM

  I'm glad I'm not the only Sparker working out at bizarre hours!

Sometimes I just get this notion that I will not go to bed till I do my workout duty. Then I'm doomed to do it b4 I get to sleep!
emoticon emoticon emoticon then emoticon

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ITTYBITTYYI 4/6/2010 1:35AM


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DOOBIE893 4/6/2010 1:27AM


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STACIJ40 4/6/2010 1:24AM

    Good job! Goals and Streaks do seem to be motivating, don't they?!

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Easter Sunday and I'm doing just fine!

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Holidays and going out to eat are my downfall. Both are special occasions in my world and special occasions are a reason to celebrate (translation: eat!).

Yesterday, DH and I went out to dinner, just the two of us. He asked me where I would like to go. I hate choosing because he is much more particular about his food than I am. We actually had a discussion once trying to determine if there was a place where we could go eat that he would eat and I wouldn't. We couldn't think of one. He even tried the local gas station, but no dice. They have a hot deli, lunchables and frozen burritos. I'm good! emoticon

Anyway, one of the ladies I work with talked about taking her son Goodwood BBQ for his birthday. That sounded really good to me. DH is not a fan of BBQ. I suggested it anyway. He decided that we could go there because they do have steak that is not BBQ. (Yay) I ordered the BBQ pulled pork with a baked potato, sour cream only and on the side, and steamed veggies. AND I only ate half the pork. Stayed in calorie range for the day! Woo Hoo!

Today is Easter (duh!) and we had (for us) the traditional Easter dinner of ham, mashed potatoes, green beans and deviled eggs. Mmmm...deviled eggs. Love them! I only made eight halves and there are four in our family, two each. DD didn't like hers, so I gave her extra to DH. I still have over 200 calories to use, if I want to!

AND, I worked out today and yesterday. Eight more days of L3 to meet that goal!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DUTCHIEKIWI 4/5/2010 9:20PM

    You are becoming the person you've always wanted to be! Congrats!!



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RWETHAIRYET 4/5/2010 1:09PM

    You know, a holiday is not the best time to implement a new plan, lol. But sounds like you did great!

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    Wow, you really behaved yourself!

Not so sure that I did THAT well.

Glad you enjoyed that pulled pork too, we have two GREAT BBQ places near our new place and it's hard to tell which one I like the best. They both have some good sauces, but the smokey flavor is what I've learned to LOVE.

We had a similar Easter meal. I didn't GIVE any of my deviled eggs to ANYONE! I guess that's why I'm so devilish!!!

emoticon emoticon

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AUNTIEANNE22 4/5/2010 8:36AM

  Great job! Making choices is easier when you have goals.
I worked all day yesterday and ate limited food. Walked between clients. We can do this.

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DONNAORLENE 4/5/2010 12:03AM

    Congrats! You're doing a great job! I told you you could do it! And of course you knew that I knew!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon


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BKNOCK 4/4/2010 10:00PM

    Great job! I am glad that you enjoyed your weekend! Mine was too crazy!

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GEEMAWEST 4/4/2010 9:16PM

    Way to go, Barb!

I didn't work out today but didn't pig out either. Actually found myself to be full after not eating much. And I had saved calories all day for "The Big Meal". I think I'll use my extra calories on a nice glass of wine.

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SANDIE4HLTH 4/4/2010 9:13PM

    It's great that you met these challenges -- staying within your calorie range while eating out AND working out as you promised yourself. Way to go!


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MUSIC66 4/4/2010 9:06PM

    that was great glad you enjoyed easter.

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