CARPEDIEM1982   6,012
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CARPEDIEM1982's Recent Blog Entries

Down and out

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Well, I had a setback this week...... my weight went from 189 lbs to 191.5 lbs. I am so disappointed in myself. In fact, I stopped blogging, posting, even coming to sparkpeople since my weigh in Friday morning. But I was able to realize that this is a JOURNEY and there are going to be struggles- it took me years to get where I was with my heaviest weight. It will take lots of time to get down to the ideal weight. But I can't mope around or get upset or eat whatever just because the weigh-in didn't go my way. Instead, I've gotten back up and am moving right along to continue a healthy lifestyle.

Here is my picture from Friday. I was really disappointed in myself when I took that picture.


My goal is to get to get to 190 by Thursday's weigh in. I CAN DO IT!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LESLEE33 2/17/2013 7:38PM

    You're right, you can't give up on yourself. You can do this!!! emoticon emoticon

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GOOSIEMOON 2/17/2013 6:44PM

    Here you are, back on SP blogging about your journey and being honest with yourself.

GOOD. FOR. YOU!

This IS a journey and you are worth the time and effort this takes!

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SUSANELAINE1956 2/17/2013 6:02PM

    I would venture to guess we all do this. I know I do. You are doing the right thing, though. I think it's all a learning experience and maybe your learning point will be that you can come back from disappointment. Good luck! emoticon

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Stress hindering weight loss...

Saturday, February 09, 2013

So in a previous blog, I said I was going to research a few questions I had regarding stress and weight loss... here are the ones I wanted to focus on:

Can stress directly affect our weight loss? emoticon
The answer to this one is pretty easy-- yes it can. I knew this without doing any research. But I still went ahead and researched...

How specifically does it affect weight loss?
This also didn't take long to find answers. It can affect a person negatively in numerous ways. I DID know about the excess cortisol release making it more difficult to lose weight... I did NOT realize that stress can slow down metabolism though. That sucks especially if I already have a slower metabolism. So I'm thinking I need to work exceptionally hard to find ways to release my stress instead of holding/bottling it in for so long.

What are some ways that would help decrease stress?
One way that has decreased my stress has been seeing the counselor. I also find playing a game of soccer really takes me away from reality. I also like to say that escaping into my photography also helps. O and playing farmville 2 and Cafe World, although that doesn't help burn any calories haha.

What parts of the body does stress affect?
That's pretty simple I think... it can affect EVERY part of my body. From headaches to no patience to physical/emotional strain to insomnia. Stress can be one of my worst enemies... so I am going to work hard to keep it under control.

How do you control your stress?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZRIE014 2/9/2013 12:57AM

  a good run will take care of it

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Side By Side...O the excitement!

Friday, February 08, 2013

I originally started my journey in October and was very sporadic with the weight loss. I can't even say it was a true attempt. But that is when I took the BEFORE pictures at 215 lbs. Today I weigh 189 lbs. I told myself that at each 20-25 lb weight loss, I would take a front and side shot and compare... So I hit a 26 lb weight loss...

I am happy and excited to share my progress... FRONT VIEW


SIDE VIEW:


For those that have supported me, motivated me, and inspired me... THANK YOU!

CarpeDiem!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JT_GMOTU 2/9/2013 6:45PM

    Yes, every 25 lbs is highly noticeable!!!

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LILYSNANA3 2/9/2013 1:44PM

  Im so happy for you.

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MYLADY4 2/9/2013 12:54PM

    emoticon

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MIDNIGHTER1 2/8/2013 5:28PM

    emoticon fantastic job.

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HANDYV 2/8/2013 5:05AM

    emoticon

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CARPEDIEM1982 2/8/2013 4:37AM

    Thank you so much for your support!

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SUSANELAINE1956 2/8/2013 3:35AM

    You are doing great. emoticon

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HOTPINKCAMARO49 2/8/2013 3:05AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ROXIGIRL 2/8/2013 1:45AM

    emoticon

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Thursday Weekly Weigh In

Friday, February 08, 2013

Today I am down another 2.5 lbs. This time it has been over 2 weeks since my scale broke last week. Still super pleased and excited to see a loss on the scale!

I was wondering today, whether or not stress messes with our weight loss journey. I know it definitely puts a negative spin on our healthy lifestyle. I think for my next blog post, I will answer some of my questions on whether stress can affect weight loss. Here are the questions I will explore and report back with:

Can stress directly affect our weight loss?
How specifically does it affect weight loss?
What are some ways that would help decrease stress?
What parts of the body does stress affect?

I am sure this is going to be HUGE when I am done researching this. I am motivated to find out the cause and effect that stress has on my body. I am particularly interested in ways I can find to decrease stress so I can continue my healthy lifestyle.

If you are reading this, what do you do to decrease your stress levels, especially if you have a high stress job and home life?

Here is my Thursday Photo as well. I am starting to see a difference in my face...


CarpeDiem

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARPEDIEM1982 2/9/2013 12:14AM

    Thanks, Glenn, for your response to my post. I really appreciate it. I'm so glad that you have found peace with little to no stress. I sure hope I can get to that level at one point. I've never tried meditation, but definitely something I will look into.
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Jenn

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WEARINGTHIN 2/8/2013 5:15AM

    Reducing stress levels: First thing I did was learn a good meditation for me.After 10 or 15 minutes of meditation, my stress level dropped along with my blood pressure. I did this most days in the mornings. Then, I started to realize that my social job and social life were not good for me. I realized I could not stay, seeing one client per hour, hour after hour. So I reitred at the age of 60. I am now home with my wife, and things have been much better in my life. And then, I began a weight loss program and shortly thereafter started Sparking. I've lost 55 lbs, and went off of one of my blood pressure medications. For me, the biggest problem was social anxiety. Now, that anxiety is much more manageable. I don't really worry much about stress any more. I read, write, listen to music, talk to my wife, do crossword puzzles and sudoku, watch movies, and other things. Oh yeah, we got rid of our satellite 2 years ago. Life is much less stressful without TV. I'm convinced the TV and commercial producers don't think very highly of the audience they are trying to sell their shows and products to. That's why you often feel pretty small and incomplete when watching it for hours. These are just some of my thoughts about stress reduction. Good luck to you in sorting yours out. Glenn

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HOTPINKCAMARO49 2/8/2013 3:07AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Blessed...But this is some deep stuff...

Wednesday, February 06, 2013

Last night I had a great conversation with a friend of mine... I think it lasted around 3 hours. She sure is something else- huge motivator, inspirational with her spiritual values, and a great parent! Not too much to do with me losing weight, but she gave me a lot of insight about finding the right spiritual path for myself and looking at my life as a whole. She encourages and motivates me to be a better person. So thankful to have her in my life.

So last night and today I did a lot of thinking...and researching. I've been really focused on my healthy lifestyle, including my spirituality. I have a lot of anger built up from the loss of my "second" mom 4 1/2 years ago to a rare form of gallbladder cancer. That cancer affects the Asian population and mostly males over 60 years of age. SHE was 45 and was Italian/Caucasian. I lost complete faith and hope after I lost her. She left her family too soon, including a daughter who was a sophomore in high school and a son that was in 7th grade. 4 1/2 years later, I still have a huge whole in my heart from losing her. As much as I have tried in the past to tell myself she is in a "better place" or she is looking down on us all as an Angel... I instead find myself questioning the faith I had before her diagnosis and death. I have a hard time making sense of this all. emoticon

...After talking with my friend, Mary, last night, I *think* and hope that I am ready to move forward and allow myself to begin my spiritual journey. I'm ready to dive into all the questions that I have-to find answers in the Bible and allow others that are spiritually sound to help support me in my journey. I am ready to start healing and grieving my loss instead of holding so much anger inside. emoticon Mary will be going through a Bible Study with me, weekly for 12 lessons. For the first time in 4 1/2 years, I have hope that I can reconnect with God and build a relationship with Him again. To find peace with losing my dearest Carmella. That I am ready to move forward, never forget, but be able to finally say goodbye. I know, deep down, that is what she would want me to do. She was at peace when she passed. She had so much faith in God, that this was part of God's plan for her. I miss you, Carmella!

I've also started to see a psychologist. I saw her today, for my second visit. I unleashed a lot of my angry thoughts about the loss of Carmella that I have bottled up for the past 4 1/2 years. I also talked about another personal situation that I have struggled with for the past 12 years that I am ready to "let go" and be at peace with my decisions over the years regarding this. For the past 10 years, I thought that this would all just go away; that I would be able to push aside the trauma that I have dealt with. I also have realized that I can't do that without help. And I am SO glad that I am seeing the psychologist. I told her after last week, that just getting things off my chest, even if I sounded so scatterbrained and jumped from one moment in time to another over the course of these 12 years, has helped tremendously. It's such a relief to have talked about it, knowing that I am getting myself the help I need to live a more healthy life. This trauma and my loss, takes me to deep places and stress that I have endured on a daily basis. When I would get to those dark places, I would have an attitude of "not caring" and eat my sorrows away.

I am excited to start my new journey with God! I am excited to go through this process with my psychologist to learn the proper techniques and coping skills to better my well being. I know this road will come with bumps, train wrecks, and lots of pain, but I will continue to move forward and work through this. I know that I will also go through a lot of happiness and goodness by going through this. emoticon

I would like to end this blog entry with part of Mariah Carey's lyrics--to say to Carmella!

"I never knew I could hurt like this... And everyday life goes on like:
I wish I could talk to you for awhile...
Miss you but I try not to cry...As time goes by.
And it's true that you've reached a better place;
Still I'd give the world to see your face.
And I'm right here next to you but it's like you're gone too soon!
Now the hardest thing to do is say Bye Bye..."

I will continue to think about you every day and keep your memory alive!
...Until we meet again!... I love you!

Jenn

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARPEDIEM1982 2/7/2013 12:58AM

    Rebecca,
Thank you so much for your kind words! I am sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. You are NOT alone in your feelings. I wish I had the answers to give you right now to work through things, but that is what I am trying to figure out myself. Maybe someone who is at peace with a loss of a loved one could offer us both support!

I will help you in any way I can with sorting out your feelings! I'm hear for you as a fellow Sparker!!

Jenn

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MSCONFIDENT1 2/7/2013 12:04AM

    You have inspired me so much! I lost my mom 4 years ago due to colon cancer and she was 42. I have been trying to work through feeling so mad and having so much anger about it. It helps to know that I'm not the only that has felt this way. emoticon emoticon

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