CAROLYN_ROSE   30,114
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CAROLYN_ROSE's Recent Blog Entries

Sometimes I forget (Picture)

Friday, May 17, 2013

I've been so frustrated for months at my lack of progress. That I sometimes forget how far I've come. I need to finally start listening to my own advice and accept myself. I'm great how I am. If I lose more weight, great, if not, that's okay too. I need to be okay with myself finally. It's so hard too but I must get there.

Seeing this old bathing suit while I was cleaning out my closet really helped me see. I am not the person I used to be. Inside and out.

My current bathing suit, ON TOP of what I used to wear...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARY0825 3/2/2014 5:27PM

    Way to go! I have trouble focusing on what I have accomplished rather than on what I haven't yet accomplished. This was a great reminder!

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TRACYZABELLE 7/15/2013 5:45AM

    awesome!

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APMAC_D 6/5/2013 9:50AM

    wow- that IS amazing!

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GEMINIGEM6 5/29/2013 6:03PM

    That's amazing! Always good to see things in perspective and I'm sure that was a great reminder for you of how far you've come!

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STEVIEBEE569 5/18/2013 7:06AM

    Now, that's what I'm talking about! WooHoo!

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ARUNNINGKAT 5/17/2013 1:58PM

    Wow, girl! That is amazing! You can truly see how far you have come! What a victory for you!

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GOLDENGLD 5/17/2013 1:34PM

    This time of year, nothing speaks louder than the bathing suit! Hopefully next year - I can take a similar picture like yours.

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ADVENTURESEEKER 5/17/2013 1:29PM

    Love this! Great motivation.

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EMERCE10 5/17/2013 12:57PM

    That's really motivating for someone like me who's still wearing the old bathing suit. Life is too short to not be happy regardless of how you look. I think its great that you're trying to be more positive, because time being down and negative is time wasted. Keep it up!

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CHANGINGSAM 5/17/2013 12:12PM

    That's awesome! emoticon

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VILLERGIRL 5/17/2013 11:52AM

    Way to go!! Great Motivation !!!!

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My first half marathon!

Monday, May 06, 2013

I did it!!!

I ran my very first half marathon!

yay!!!! I am still in shock that I actually did it!

I can't even tell you how nervous I was for this race!! I was a wreck all weekend. Barely sleeping and feeling sick. I knew I can do it, but I wanted to run at a decent time and this is something I've been working toward for so long. I almost couldn't believe it was finally here.

Sunday morning I woke up bright and early (4:30am) to head on over to the race. The half started at 6:45am and because it's such a big race we had to get there early to beat the traffic. I didn't mind the early time though, I couldn't sleep very much anyway that night. That early it was COLD. I knew it was going to warm up though so I wore shorts and a tank. Blue to support Boston. It was a little scary at the race because security was amped up big time, but it also helped you feel safe.



Here I am with my friends waiting inside

After hanging out inside in the warm heat it was time to get ready for the race to start. It is unreal the amount of people running the half. I'm not sure I've ever ran such a huge race before. It took a good 5 minutes waiting in our corral before we began. I had planned on staying with my friend the whole race. Unfortunately her knee was killing her, by mile 3 she ended up dropping out of the race.


I was all alone. For 13.1 miles. Which I was surprisingly okay with. I had a good pace going for almost the whole race. Seeing all the spectators with signs cheering us on is one of the greatest feelings in the world. I even had a friend who lived along the course, make me a sign! Which was so fun to see. I was doing really well til about mile 9. Then I started to slow down. Not too much but I was starting to hurt.

At mile 11 I started to get weepy. I couldn't believe I was so close and that I was actually doing this. Everything hurt but I was crying tears of joy.



The last mile is right along the beach. So beautiful and the perfect way for this Jersey girl to end a race.


I finished in 2 hours and 22 minutes!! I had wanted to finish in 2:30, so I am over the moon about that time!

Here I am minutes after finishing!



I can honestly say I have no need to ever try and run a marathon, but I will absolutely run another half marathon!! It was a great day and even though I'm still sore, I'm smiling from ear to ear.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VICKLET31 5/16/2013 10:49AM

    CONGRATS!!!! I know how much hard work you put into that, so great job!!!!!

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MSGETHEALTHY35 5/7/2013 9:16PM

    CONGRATS on completing the marathon and beating the time...WOOHOO!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ADVENTURESEEKER 5/6/2013 8:20PM

    Way to go!!!!!!!! So awesome!!!!!

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CECE0330 5/6/2013 1:41PM

    CONGRATS!!!!!!!! It's an amazing feeling of accomplishment! Honestly, it's one of the hardest things i've ever done mentally/physically.

YOU ARE A ROCK STAR!!! emoticon

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CHANGINGSAM 5/6/2013 12:37PM

    Congrats! I'm so proud of you! emoticon

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ARUNNINGKAT 5/6/2013 12:06PM

    Congrats! I am so excited for you on successful completion of your goal! emoticon

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SKINNYMISSKASEY 5/6/2013 11:29AM

    Way to go! HM's are becoming way more popular than full marathons now. I've signed up for my 4th and 5th already but I've given myself plenty of time to get back in shape for them!

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DEBLYNN323 5/6/2013 11:06AM

    emoticon Congrats on your success!

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ALICIAYOUNG1127 5/6/2013 10:55AM

    I'm smiling ear to ear for you! fantastic job...I hope you are as proud of your self as I am!!!!!!!way to go!

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Crossing off things on my Bucket List! PICTURES!

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

am back to reality from my awesome trip to Mexico. It was a vacation that I really needed and one that I won't soon forget. It was only 5 days long but it was awesome from beginning to end, and now I'm back to rainy NJ.

I went away with 4 other girls to an all inclusive near Cancun. We got an insane deal for the whole thing, rooms, flight, all inclusive. It was just way too good to pass up! The resort we stayed out was awesome. I highly recommend it. The food was delicious, the drinks even better. There was a huge pool with a slide and a cliff jump and it was right on the beach, where they had boating and kayaks available to use. So much fun!

I have always had a bucket list of things I want to do. This trip gave me the ability to conquer two of them! When I was overweight and away once, everyone I went with did ziplining. I couldn't go though because there was a weight limit. It killed me to not be able to go and I knew that one day I would do it. This trip allowed me to finally go ziplining!!! One of the best things ever! I want to do it again and again now

Me getting ready to zip line for the first time



On my way down



I even got to go upside down on them. Which was terrifying at first but really fun once you stopped feeling like you were gonna die. haha



I look like a pro here



After ziplining we went out on ATVs. I was not the best driver, but still a really cool experience.



Finally here I am conquering another item on my bucket list. You can see I'm screaming haha. Going down a zip line into water. I'm not scared of heights per se, but I am scared of jumping. The last obstacle race I did, there was a cliff jump that I didn't do. I got to the top and froze. I couldn't make the jump. I was so embarrassed that I vowed to myself to get over this fear and finally do it! I also jumped down from that ledge as well. Now I am ready for the next Tough Mudder



Splashing down



The rest of the trip was spent just relaxing and getting some sun. I feel so much better than I have in months. This trip has really taught me to let go. To face my fears head on and experience the world and everything in it. Now I am on to the rest of my bucket list. Which includes running my first half marathon on Sunday! EEK!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VICKLET31 5/16/2013 10:46AM

    Awesome! Looks like you had so much fun! I can't wait to try ziplining one day soon!!!

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ANGEL_GRAVER 5/1/2013 7:57AM

    emoticon

So glad that you had fun and were able to do some things that you've always wanted to do!

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SARASMILING 5/1/2013 6:33AM

    That looks like SOOO much fun!!!! You are such an inspiration! So proud of you!!! emoticon

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KERRIELYNN719 4/30/2013 5:54PM

    I absolutely love your pictures! You look so happy in them :)

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CHANGINGSAM 4/30/2013 3:08PM

    Wow! I need one of your vacations! It looks like you had a blast! I'm so happy (and proud) of you for facing your fears.

Good luck on Sunday!! emoticon

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JULESJET 4/30/2013 1:44PM

    It looks like you had a fantastic time! And Hooray for crossing items off your bucket list!

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ARUNNINGKAT 4/30/2013 12:51PM

    Looks like you had a wonderful, adventurous trip! Welcome back!

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SHELLE13 4/30/2013 12:09PM

    OMG! This looks like so much fun! And you look so healthy and happy! Glad you had fun! =)

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Goal for March

Friday, March 01, 2013

To get back into the LOW 180s....

That is all.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

APMAC_D 3/13/2013 1:25PM

    You can do this :)

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Forgiving myself so I can move forward

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

For months I have been in a deep dark hole. Call it depression, call it the winter blues, a funk, whatever fits the bill. Either way I haven't been myself and I didn't know how to pull myself out of this hole I was in. I was mortified that I had gained close to 20 pounds since October. The fact that what was once a loose fitting pair of jeans no longer fit was horrifying to me.

But I wasn't doing anything about it. I was wearing leggings and dresses and cardigans to hid the bulge of my stomach. I was eating whatever I wanted. While I was keeping up with my workouts, it was clear I couldn't run at my normal pace and keep up the way I used to. This extra weight was/is pulling my down literally and mentally.

Then I took a deep look at myself. I've lost over close to 120 pounds, and while I've gained about 20 of those pounds back, I know without a shadow of a doubt I will never let myself become 300 pounds again. Seeing me close to 200 pounds was enough for me to take notice and start to do something about it.

Then I realized that I need to give myself a break. Everyone slips. This is the first time in the 2plus years I've been on this lifestyle that I've slipped up. There are articles upon articles about how common it is for people to gain their weight back. Even the people on that shows the biggest loser gain some weight back, or more sometimes.

It doesn't mean we've failed. It shows that we are all human. Life throws curveballs at us all the time. This is a journey that I will be on for the rest of my life. And that journey will have it's ups and downs. And while I can try to prevent it, sometimes it's just too hard.

Which is why I'm going to forgive myself for gaining this weight.

I need to realize this was a blip on my journey. And it does not take away from the fact that I've still lost a hundred pounds. I DID that. All on my own, I can absolutely handle getting these pesky 20 pounds back off.

So starting today is the next phase of my journey. Where I acknowledge that I'm human and vulnerable. That it's okay that I gained this weight. That in the end it's just going to make me a stronger person. It's teaching me a much needed lesson that I never ever want to go back to the person I was. I am miserable with this extra weight, I could not imagine how I would feel weighing 300 pounds again.

I am strong, I am beautiful, and I know I can do this again and again if I have too.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

APMAC_D 4/23/2013 9:47AM

    I'm your biggest fan- I believe in you 100%

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MIZCATHI 3/1/2013 3:21PM

    I can relate totally to this blog. I regained 20+ lbs since October after maintaining a loss of 120 lbs for a year a half. But I've pulled myself up by the bootstraps and darn does it feel so much better than being in a fog. Grief is necessary, though I wish I had treated myself better during the worst of it.

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APMAC_D 2/25/2013 10:19AM

    What a great blog- you are amazing!!!!

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MYLOVELYCURVES 2/20/2013 4:51PM

    What a great attitude! You are absolutely right. Good for you for acknowledging and owning it! You can and you will get back on track :)

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OMMAMA7 2/20/2013 2:05PM

    Aww, I'm sorry for the "hole" you were in, but I'm so proud of you for putting things in perspective! You are right, we are human. Most of us have done the same thing at some point. And your accomplishments are major! Gaining a few back does NOT take anything away from all you've done and I have no doubt you'll be back where you were with your weight in no time. I'm glad you posted - you've got this!! emoticon emoticon

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VERONICAVW_140 2/20/2013 12:29PM

    I've slowly learned over the years that when I sit in the shame and guilt of having binged and/or gained weight that I tend to let it happen more often. Gradually I am learning that letting go of that negative feeling and allowing me to start fresh gets the healthy ball rolling much quicker. I'm going to give you a link to an article about that I read about giving ourselves a 5lb window of gaining and losing. Let's say your goal weight is 170. Then Your range would be 168.5 and 172.5. The article is really really scientific so I had to reread some of the paragraphs a couple of times before I unerstood what it was saying!haha But it was a really good read. It is sort of lengthy but if you have some extra time it is worth the read: http://www.fourmilab.ch/hackdiet/e4
/weightmonitor.html#CreatingWei
ghtDatabase

Also, I will leave you with one of my most favorite quotes

"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense."
Emerson, Ralph Waldo


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LEPETITCHIHUA 2/20/2013 12:28PM

    Your not alone. i have gone up and down and up and down for 20 years now! This time I am really reminding myself that maintaining my weight loss will be an everyday effort. That tracking food and exercise are for the rest of my life! And I am ok with that.
emoticon emoticon

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ARUNNINGKAT 2/20/2013 12:03PM

    I have been feeling like I was in a hole that I could not dig out of mentally for several months now too. I have no idea what caused it (although I suspect that dealing with my husband's ex and several attorneys all of last fall didn't help any) but I have been working to get my Spark back so to speak. You are so right when you say this a journey. Thanks for sharing your journey! You are such an inspiration!

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FERNDRAGONFLY 2/20/2013 10:42AM

    WooHoo! I'm proud of you for finding this new perspective. I think we all find ourselves in a similar place from time to time, and it takes real strength and courage to pull yourself back up and begin again.

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BEMILLER30 2/20/2013 10:21AM

    This is such a major part in moving forward, forgiving yourself. That is what I had to do. I lost 80 lbs and gained almost all of it back. I was in a hole for a while, and I am still finding my way again. But I had to really let go of the past and focus on moving forward.

Kudos to you for recognizing this and making plans to move past it. You've done so well, and I know you're going to do great!

Way to go!

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PRETTYPITHY 2/20/2013 10:12AM

    Wow, awesome! Good for you for forgiving yourself. Hiding from the problem (which is what I've done in the past), gets you nowhere. Confronting it and moving forward does! emoticon

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BIGDOG18 2/20/2013 10:07AM

  emoticon

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