Thursday, February 05, 2009
The best place for Tammy is with her Aunt Kathy and her family. This is also where SHE wants to be. She even told her lawyer she knew she'd be safe there. Her "sister" cousin is 3 weeks older and she'll have brothers she has always wanted. She has spent a summer week or 2 with them and loved it. This is a very unique family. All kids are A students and atheletics. They eat dinner together and even parents spend time playing with them. Kathy even became a coach when her sons team needed one. This is where Tammy belongs. NOT with someone who just wants any kid, or even a cps worker who decided she wants this beautiful girl. She belongs with her family where she can stay in contact with aunts, cousins, and grandparents. When there is a good placement within the family, even the LAW says it must be recognized. (The judge even had to remind CPS of that recently).
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
I went to the cardiologist. He was very pleased with the visit. I'm so much improved over 5 years ago. Also, since I was prayed over in May, I've only taken 5 doses of Nitro. Before that, I was taking 200 every 4-6 weeks!
The Lord reminded me recently, this is the worst time of year for me. This time Last year was the first time I'd been to church in about 4 years. Though I occasionally miss now, I am there for most of the main services and some others. Last year, I would never have believed this possible.
On top of this, I'm carrying enormous stress this year. I can't wait until next year and see how well I'll be doing w/o this load.
Other than church my life is what it was, except, most of the time I can think w/out "forcing" my brain to work. With the stress, I can't handle anything else. My email boxes even literally have thousands of emails.
As for my son, we finally got him out of jail after 6 months. He's been doing good getting into counseling, working with doctors to get what he needs, working with lawyers, etc. He did get out with and unwanted gift; MRSA. What he thought was boils and he popped one, put him in the hospital. He is back home now, doing ok. He'll be having a visiting nurse.
He has blacked out most of July, when they say he raped his daughter. He read parts of her statement, but it is all unreal to him. Even the counselors who work with him thinks he was set up. His medical records don't support his doing anything like this.
He has chosen to accept a deal tho. Since Tammy is 13, the DA promised to put her on the stand. He won't do that. People have raised a ruccus over it, usually those w/o their own kids and said they'd put her on. My brother was one of these. All I could think is that's the difference between being a father and being an uncle.
CPS is trying to tear the family apart. They want to put Tammy up for adoption. My daughter is trying to fight for her, but can't afford a lawyer. I actually put it on Craig's list hoping some kind lawyer would be interested.
Sorry I haven't checked in. I just haven't been strong enough to do more than I I'm doing now. (Church and surviving.)
Thursday, August 28, 2008
My son is still in Jail and still has yet to see his criminal lawyer. A Civil lawyer came in and basically told him he had to give up his daughter. I talked to the lawyer and he said, "What man wants a 12 yo girl who makes this kind of false allegation against their father." His take is for my brother or daughter and her family to want Tammy, there must be something shady going on. We think the shady is going on with him. We've always felt someone is threatening Tammy to say this and that if investigators look, they'll find a paper trail between 3 people who are out for revenge. Tom told me he and Tammy were both threatened before all this happened. We never expected this. We're wondering if the lawyer is being paid off too.
Top all this off, Tom is very ill. The San Angelo, TX jail isn't listening. They know he needs meds, but since he didn't have bottles with him (They somehow disappeared from the car with his laptop.) they won't get them for him. He's getting sicker and sicker. I told the lawyer's associate (Criminal) today that if he dies in that jail, I'm gonna find me a Melvin Beli type attorney and sue the county.
Does anyone know of any support groups who can help? Attorneys in TX are overloaded with going after the Mormons and seem to have something to prove. Someone told me there's a group for falsely charged people, but can't locate it.
Please keep Tom and Tammy in prayer. We're also praying my daughter gets custody of Tammy and it works out for everyone. God has shown us he will eventually be set free, but this is so hard right now. He doesn't even have friends in the area. He was a truck driver and my brother was caring for Tammy.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Our church is having a revival and lots is happening. I'm really excited. There's a song, "More of You", meaning God. It says how I feel. I just want more of HIM.
I'm again at peace and know HE is in control of everything. My son STILL hasn't seen a lawyer and is still in jail, but IS TURNING back TO GOD! We realize God is in control and the truth will come out. Meanwhile we're learning to trust God more than ever.
We have a lady at church who is wheelchair bound. When she gets to church she is assisted to her pew seat and back to the wheelchair...or was. Last night, she got herself out of her seat, walked along the back of the pew in front of her and down the aisle. She then stood while another was prayed over. She was then prayed over and sat down in front for a bit. She then got herself up w/ a little help, then began down the side aisle with one of us at each side. She blew me off from one side and began walking faster than Ken on the otherside could hardly move sideways to stay just ahead of her! Tonight, she helped herself both in and out of her chair and took herself outside.
I'm feeling much better. Now, sleeping a lot. I think it's my body catching up. My cardio appointment is tomorrow. I thoroughly expect to hear my heart is no longer enlarged!
Welcome to My Heart
Welcome to my heart,
How honored I am to know
that Your Holy Spirit lives in me!
May this knowledge remind and inspire me
to treat my physical body with reverence--
not to worship it, but to worship You
and Your indwelling presence.
I offer my thoughts, my actions,
my words, and my attitudes--
all of me--to You.
Make me a living sacrifice,
a testament to the power to be found
only in You.
pass on by Jurline L.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
I went to church not knowing if I could stand or not to sing. I had talked to Pastor, and told our team leader we decided I'd try, but could sit if I needed to. As always, we prayed before we went out and, as usual, I prayed for bodily strength. I went out and was able to stand and really sing with Praise to our God and Savior. When we were finished, I went down and sat with hubby. I nearly fell asleep! God is good, He give us what we need just when we need it.
After service I went for prayer for strength and sustenance to return for evening services.
I slept all afternoon, and had a hotdog before going back for evening service. I felt much better. At the close of service, Pastor felt the annointing heavily and invited us for prayer. She prayed for me, my son, and granddaughter.
Just as I thought she'd forgotten my son, she has a sister give her one of the towels kept in the front pew and rolled it up. She put it in my arms and said, "this is your son, hold him." The dam broke. I cried and cried. For the first time in our relationship she held me. She even said she loved me. Pastor doesn't just say she loves everyone. When she does it's special.
She prayed some more and I held the towel for quite some time. I eventually lifted it/my son up to The Father, giving Him Tom to take care of. I'll probably have to do this many many times before this is over. I know there's nothing else I can do. God gave me a couple songs in worship, then I took my seat as Pastor had gone on to pray for others.
The spirit was strong in our church that night. Actually, we've come to expect it. As if in closing, I felt the strong urge to sing "The Lord's Prayer." I did, and as I sang, my trembling ceased and my voice got stronger. Others tried to join me but couldn't really sing it. I was annointed. The song was annointed. At the end, pastor sang a couple extra "Amen"s and ended the service there. It seems that God had chosen the ending.
It's funny. People always tell me this is such a hard song to sing. No one ever seems to be able to play it for me. Yet when I sing it, it seems so easy. I guess that's God!
Today, I feel some better. I found out Tammy is doing well. She's settled in a foster home. I found out she got to talk to my brother. She got to call him. That was good.
I went thru another drawer of her things from storage. It was really emotional for me. Now, I feel tired early. I think I'll try sleeping w/o pills tonight. I have nothing I have to do tomorrow, so this would be good to try.
I know God is in Control. I must keep reminding myself He will work things for the best.
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