Monday, January 16, 2012
Library is closed today, so I went to McDonald's at night.
Heard a speaker speak about "How would you live your life if knew you only had one year to live?"
Still digesting that. I sense a God-thing going on here.
Today I washed veggies in soapy vinegar water (red & green peppers, lemons, a lope), made salad, sliced and bagged peppers and lemons, did laundry at the laundromat, went to the walking park, and did a bunch of errands. Priced a cooler, 60 quart size at Big Lots, so I can keep things cool without a refrigerator. I'm going to advertise for one on a local radio show called Home Ads tomorrow, which is like radio garage sale or radio Craigslist. The price of a new cooler is $32 (good news; less than I thought) so I want to pay $15 or less for one from Home Ads listener. Hopefully I can get a deal.
Thanks so much for prayers. Means the world to me. It is so wonderful to have SparkFriends who care.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
This morning was the 3rd morning I'd woken up after getting a full (or almost a full) night's sleep, i.e. I did NOT wake up all night long with coughing fits. I am so thankful and grateful to get my health back!!!! You just don't know what you have til you lose it.
My voice is not normal, BUT AT LEAST I HAVE ONE, which is an improvement.
As usual on Sunday mornings, got up early this morning (5:30) tip toed and got dressed and made my bed and curled my hair all in the dark, and left the house before housemate got up (6:00), to avoid all contact. In numerous ways, she's prepared me for being homeless, i.e. I am used to packing washcloth, soap, toothpaste, etc in the car, plus daily food, and change of clothes and shoes when necessary, and using gas station and restaurant bathrooms (can't run the water etc when she's at home - only by taking extreme measures have I kept the peace this long). After I petted the cats and left this morning, I went to McDonalds, sent a résumé, finished getting ready for church (face, teeth, makeup), and then went to church. I served at the bookcart 1st svc, and went in to the 2nd svc.
She is usually gone when church is out; I drove by and she was gone so I went in and ate lunch there, did dishes, and then went to the walking park. The cats love me and always come running when I come home, a fact I'm sure bothers their owner immensely. So I also petted kitties while I was there.
At the walking park I cleaned out my car front & back, moved alot of stuff to the trunk so it won't look lived in, and threw away trash (note to self: start practicing now; car can't look lived-in). Then I put on walking shoes and walked 2 miles.
A new fun twist at the park today, was that a squirrel came up to me because I had stopped beside the trail and was fishing in my pocket for my pedometer; I always like to look at how many steps I already have in before I start my walk at the park, and check my watch so I can time it. Obviously this squirrel was expecting something else to come out of my pocket. This is the first time this has ever happened to me, with a squirrel at the park. I have seen a lady who carries peanuts in the shell at the park, and feeds them.
I have pecans in a bag in the trunk that I picked up under a pecan tree over the holidays, so I went back to my car, got a pocketful, and started the walking path over again. I had to crack them slightly underfoot to get them started, then I shelled them as I walked and looked for likely candidates in close proximity to the walking track. I fed about 5 or 6 squirrels, if they were brave enough (from conditioning by the peanut lady) to approach me when I talked to them, clicked my tongue, and tossed them a nut. As a rule I don't like any rodents, and don't want to get too close (plague; rabies; ticks) but, I've always liked squirrels. They were very cute, and the ones who ate the nuts really enjoyed them. Much more than I ever would, LOL. Guess the squirrels at the park after Feb 1, will make up for, at least a little, how much I will miss the kitties.
My housemate has started hoarding used grocery sacks, she removed all her empty sacks and mine, that we both use for daily trash (per her requirements) from under the cabinet; apparently she put those and her kitchen paper towels in her bedroom. I use my own dish brushes, as well as sponges sanitized in the microwave; I don't use paper towels, though I did gift her with 7 or so new rolls when I moved in. I used to love Bounty Fun Prints and Holidays. I stopped using them when their prices went sky high a few years ago; just kept a few Fall Bounty with turkeys and such because they were hard to find and because I'd boughten multiples with coupons per coupon requirements, which I packed the extras away with seasonal (I didn't want to use fall leaves and pumpkins in Jan etc - I used to be picky, LOL). I packed away the seasonal extras when a box needed something to take up room at the top; also one new Christmas roll; all of which I gave to her when I moved in (it was Fall then!) to reduce what I have in storage, and as a courtesy contribution (can't give $, but, CAN give what I have, like cleaners, dish soap, etc.). She is a mega paper towel person; uses 5+ a day, wipes the counters with them and cleans up after her cats, instead of using sponges or cleaning cloths. I also keep a bag of recycle plastic grocery bags under the counter where she used to, if I have any leftovers after lining my bedroom & bathroom trash cans. Apparently she is afraid of a shortage of free (recycled) plastic sacks. Or that I might use one of "hers". More psychosis. So today while I was out I swung by Food Lion and asked the powers that be if I could take plastic sacks OUT of their recycle bin container. The guy said "sure", and after I chose a big very clean-looking bag stuffed to the max with clean-looking bags, and gave him my thanks, he also went inside the store gave me a whole sleeve of brand new unused ones (I hadn't even asked for or mentioned or hinted for new bags). So those new ones will come in handy for moving and for ministorage, and sack lunches.
Recycle plastic sacks, and paper towels, are just two examples. I could tell you stories about laundry, toilet flushing, dishwasher, the cleaner beneath the counter, liquid dish soap, a license to carry concealed, and many others. Plus, there are probably a whole slew of "issues" I don't even know about that she's dreamed up, that "I have done", because she's endlessly inventive, critical, faultfinding, and petty, about real AND IMAGINED things. I will remember this before ever placing myself in a similar situation again. I have proof she has slandered me to all her friends. And yet issues that are readily apparent that are reality-based, such as the toilet that runs and the tub faucets that drip, she does nothing about even though she had a plumber in the house to fix something else and could have had those things fixed at that time. She leaves the locks unlocked on a routine basis; then jumps all over me when I left one unlocked a single time (but the door in question was still locked more than once).
Tuesday she borrowed a car (or used maintenance loaner, etc), left work hours early, and came home to surprise me. Her car is red but she pulled up in the driveway at home in a white car, so that she could walk in on me and "catch me" doing something. I guess it is now bothering her that I can see her red car coming? Who knows how her mind works . . . The previous Saturday when she'd done the same "surprise" visit at home to catch me while I was still there (hours before she usually comes home), I went the extra miles and made polite small talk with her. But this Tuesday, feeling physically awful, I just couldn't deal with her at all. When I saw her in the driveway, I walked to the bathroom before she came in, shut the door, and turned on the shower. She was gone when I got out (mercifully). She also did the "Tuesday surprise visit deal" before, and brought a friend with her that time. They "caught" me making salad in the kitchen when they walked in on me - oooooooh ooooooh what a crime! What a scandal!
Hopefully the abundance of replenished bag of plastic sacks under the counter (after I inspect them to verify there's nothing for her to have a fit about), will help her mental state. Though I'm not sure anything can. I'm not a professional but it's obvious her condition is far beyond what plastic bags or anything else in the situational realm can help. I still pray for her every day, but have basically written her off - took her off my plate and put her on the Lord's plate. When the internal landscape of a person doesn't match the outward appearance, it is very sad. I am sad when I walk around her yard or home, which is so beautiful, knowing what I now know about her. The whole situation makes me very sad. Very different from what I remember her as when I knew her 20 years ago; very very sad. She is a fear-based person who frequently changes the story of how events occurred, and what she said and/or did and/or intended. Possibly her mind is going. Because she really actually believes this stuff. She even asked me, "How did you get so-and-so's number?", when she's the one who sent it to me in email so that I would have it. I have other conversations, and other emails of hers, stating the opposite of what she swears she said to me, etc.; so it's not a misunderstanding on my part; and, it is 100% useless to have any conversation with her at all (written or verbal). So I don't. I just stay gone, and avoid interaction of any kind, at all costs, except when she walks in on me at home on purpose to "surprise" me, hours ahead of schedule, which in her psychosis she's made a habit of, numerous times. I've seen these things on TV etc, but it's hard to believe (shaking my head) if I hadn't experienced it myself. I would surely think, "Yes but there must be more to this story".
There is much about this situation to have the sincerest, deepest compassion and pity for her. I mean really. That could be me. Possibly the Lord arranged this whole situation on her behalf, not mine, so that I would be introduced to this situation because I would pray for her.
I'm not saying it'll be easy when I move out Feb 1, or that being homeless, if that happens, is something I'm looking forward to experiencing; but on the other side of the coin there will be many, MANY blessings of being permanently away from her. She'll remain permanently on my prayer list.
And I'll end on a positive note of God's provision:
GROCERY BARGAINS THIS PAST WEEK
I pick them up, 1 or 2 items at time at different stores, whenever I'm in the vicinity.
2 lbs carrots $1.19 Aldi's
pkg of broccoli crowns 99 cents Aldis
pkg of lemons $2 Aldis
pkg of baby bella mushrooms $1.29 Aldis
3 green bell peppers $2 Aldis
whole heads of green leaf, red leaf, & romaine, $1.00 ea BILO
organic celery hearts $2.49 BILO
3 red bell peppers 99 cents Save-A-Lot
large tomatoes 99 cents lb Save-A-Lot
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Mark your calendars . . . starting this weekend:
Martin Luther King Jr. weekend
National Park Week
Get Outdoors Day
National Public Lands Day
Veterans Day weekend
*Fee waiver includes: entrance fees, commercial tour fees, and transportation entrance fees. Other fees such as reservation, camping, tours, concession and fees collected by third parties are not included unless stated otherwise.
Additionally, many of the 397 national parks NEVER charge an entrance fee.
Find a Park by State:
Friday, January 13, 2012
Woke up to realize I had slept through the entire night except for a single coughing fit at 12:30, for the first time this week, which of course meant I woke up clear headed instead of a sleep-deprived muddle head.
I was so happy.
I was able to get so much done this morning. The other days these week, 2 hours would fly by in what seemed 10 mins. A couple mornings I even reset the timer every 15 mins per FlyLady, to help me capture or make better use of my time, but it really didn't help. Being sick plus sleep deprived from being unable to breathe was the problem, and a timer wasn't going to fix it.
All of this was caused by me going off of SinuFix, in an effort to conserve it so it wouldn't run out so fast.
I used up alot of SinuFix - 3 and 4 per day all week instead of my well-health maintenance dose of 1 a day - to get back to being healthy. So ironically, I wasted time, money, and SinuFix, by trying to conserve SinuFix.
I am so grateful for last night's sleep. I still have red nose, scratchy throat, damaged vocal cords, and am clearing my throat occasionally, but was so happy this morning when I realized I had slept and for change this morning, I had not waken up half dead.
From now on, SinuFix comes before gasoline, in spending priority.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
What are your priorities? What you DO is your priority.
What are you struggling with? I am struggling with making walking a priority. I did fine from Oct through the week of Dec 13 (super busy week) and have struggled ever since to get back to the daily habit of it.
"Excuses be SHELVED in 20-TWELVE."
Our ACTIONS demonstrate our real priorities.
And when I DO fight my way back to a regular, daily walking habit, I'll remember HOW MUCH HARDER IT IS to go back and start over, than it would have been to make whatever time mgmt sacrifices necessary, to have continued doing it during the week of Dec 13. It's like going back to school: no matter what it is that's going on in your life that makes it look like you HAVE to drop out, DON'T DO IT, because no matter how hard it is stay in, it will be much much harder to go back than it is to stay in.
Your actions demonstrate your true priorities.
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