Friday, November 09, 2012
As I lay here, trying to sleep, I hear the wind howling. It whistles and shrieks as it strips the trees of it's fall leaves. I imagine the walnuts that hadn't fallen scattered from here to all my neighbor's yards. I hear the scratch of a cat as he nervously paces about the house. (The dog gave up groaning hours ago.) Even though I have been laying here for over 6 hours, I am still quite tired.
I imagine that as the wind brings in the storm, the air will begin to calm and the rain or snow will bring the impurities to the earth. And when that too is over, I can walk out and see the aftermath of the storm. There will be tree branches upon the sidewalks and yards, and leaves scattered to and fro. The refreshing scent of clean dampness will permeate my nostrils. After a deep breath, I will be able to begin planning clean-up efforts.
How like human nature it is to sometimes feel out of control with our lives. I sometimes want to be like the big bad wolf and just blow it all away and start over. Just like it is easier to pick up walnuts that have been hurled to the ground, so too, it is not easy to decide to give up sugar or to lose weight. Now, however, as I sit in the midst of the storm of nausea and exhaustion, I can see how easy it really is to give up sugar and non-essential nutrients. I just had to be shaken a bit to get me to this point.
Soon the storm will cease and I will again stand on my own. What will my food choices be when nausea is no longer a factor? I imagine myself taking a deep breath of clean air and never turning back but instead pick up the pieces and starting all over again.
Monday, November 05, 2012
I finally was able to rest enough that by this afternoon I feel pretty good.
I know i have to be careful to not overdo the activity until I am healed, but it felt really good today to go for a walk.
I went around the block equaling about .1 mile.
I also went to the grocery store today to find foods that would help me feel better.
I enjoyed food for the first time in several days.
That may have been a mistake.
None of my family would eat it.
Why would I care about food if I can't get rid of it at the end of the meal?
Plus I ate until I was overfilled.
I guess I go back to the crap they want to eat and tell them I am not hungry, which after looking at it, is mostly true.
At least for now.
Especially since I am only down .3 on the scale to 178.6.
Sunday, November 04, 2012
Today I managed to go to 1 hour of church.
I ate just barely under 1200 calories.
I am very tired and a bit nauseous.
I guess this is normal?
I am down nearly another pound at 178.9.
Sugars do not interest me and I am tempted to try altering the foods I do eat to completely eliminate them from my diet.
I think this may be the only way I may begin feeling better.
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