CARMADAB   14,551
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November 10, 2012

Saturday, November 10, 2012

It sure was a pretty morning with snow flurries all around. I love winter on the condition that I can a) shovel snow or b) look at it while bundled up indoors.

My husband wanted to go out for breakfast and check on the married children.

At the restaurant, I managed to linger in the restroom and take my time at the buffet counter. I only took an omelet and ate it rather slowly. By the time I finished it, he had downed 2 heaping plates full and was finally ready to go.

The kids managed rather well considering we had 10 inches of new snow with another 3 inches expected by tomorrow. My oldest son was without power, but they were able to restore it rather quickly - by noon. My oldest daughter was not called in to work so stayed bundled at home with her family. My youngest daughter had stayed up all night and was finally sleeping. And my youngest son (who still lives at home) was waiting for someone to call him to help do snow removal.

After the outing, I went grocery shopping. By the time I was done, I was tired and hungry. I had a small corn muffin and a low-fat mozzerella stick with a sugar free jello pudding snack. Then I rested for about an hour.

I was able to clean most of my house this week. I feel so much better when I am able to be active. Then for dinner we had ham, macaroni and cheese, and broccoli. My husband and son enjoyed the meal while I picked at it. I detest macaroni and cheese and while I love ham, it gives me a headache. I came in at lower calories than I probably should, but how do I know if it is completely accurate? Anyway, I feel satisfied and that is probably the best indication anyway.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BASKETLADY13 11/11/2012 9:40PM


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SHEYLANGEL22 11/10/2012 10:42PM

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November 9, 2012

Friday, November 09, 2012

As I lay here, trying to sleep, I hear the wind howling. It whistles and shrieks as it strips the trees of it's fall leaves. I imagine the walnuts that hadn't fallen scattered from here to all my neighbor's yards. I hear the scratch of a cat as he nervously paces about the house. (The dog gave up groaning hours ago.) Even though I have been laying here for over 6 hours, I am still quite tired.

I imagine that as the wind brings in the storm, the air will begin to calm and the rain or snow will bring the impurities to the earth. And when that too is over, I can walk out and see the aftermath of the storm. There will be tree branches upon the sidewalks and yards, and leaves scattered to and fro. The refreshing scent of clean dampness will permeate my nostrils. After a deep breath, I will be able to begin planning clean-up efforts.

How like human nature it is to sometimes feel out of control with our lives. I sometimes want to be like the big bad wolf and just blow it all away and start over. Just like it is easier to pick up walnuts that have been hurled to the ground, so too, it is not easy to decide to give up sugar or to lose weight. Now, however, as I sit in the midst of the storm of nausea and exhaustion, I can see how easy it really is to give up sugar and non-essential nutrients. I just had to be shaken a bit to get me to this point.

Soon the storm will cease and I will again stand on my own. What will my food choices be when nausea is no longer a factor? I imagine myself taking a deep breath of clean air and never turning back but instead pick up the pieces and starting all over again.


November 7, 2012

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Yesterday, I came home early from work.
My daughter was moving out and hadn't told me.
Granted, she is 21 and she should have moved out a long time ago, but I wish she would have had the courtesy to speak to me and not just walk out like that.

Tonight as I was walking around 2 blocks (yes, 2! emoticon ), I thought about my relationship with my youngest daughter. Her older siblings were louder and often gained the most attention. I was also a bit depressed by the time I had my baby two years later and extremely over tired from the stresses of raising my little family. I have tried several times over the past 21 years to make a friendship with her. Sometimes I get a brief positive response, but she quickly shuts me back out. Why?

Is there any possible way that I could have been a better parent to her? Will she ever forgive me for any of the things she has deemed me guilty of? Will she ever come to a realization that I love her no matter what? Will she continue to cut me out of her life or will she recognize a need for her mother and let me in? I know I need her to love me back.

I was thinking that this is what Jesus Christ has done for all of us. He stands at the door wondering if we will let him into our life.

Why did my appendix need to come out last week? I believe it is the same reason that my daughter walked out without comment yesterday. Once she could see that she wouldn't lose me she left me. She does love me, she just doesn't know how to be herself and still accept that may be different from what I wanted her to be. I hope someday she will realize that I do accept her and I will not stop loving her anyway.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SCHECK5 11/8/2012 6:27AM

    Carma so sorry to hear that your daughter moved out...but it may even strengthen your relationship..(it did with my youngest). She may just need to spread her wings for a short time and then realize what she is missing.

Hope your feeling much better with having your appendix out...many prayer are coming your way!!!

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November 6, 2012

Tuesday, November 06, 2012

It has now been one week since my surgery.
Today I had more energy, but I didn't know it when I arrived back to work this morning - first day back. Or half day - since i was worried about coming back a full day.
Of course there were well wishers everywhere, and that can be exhausting.

I've been having dizzy spells and weakness. Last night I experienced a racing heart and cold extremities. I didn't think anything of it until it happened again this afternoon.
I have my checkup with the doctor next week and until then I am going to try taking some iron and B-complex vitamins. I always have been a bit anemic and google says that the symptoms point in that direction. Anyway, the vitamins can't hurt since I am supposed to be taking them anyway.

I also managed to walk about 2 blocks today. I feel good about that! The pain is reduced and although 2 blocks were enough, it is twice as much as yesterday. emoticon

And - I feel good about the weight loss even though it is coming off quickly.
October 30 - 182.2
November 1 - 181.3
November 2 - 179.8
November 3 - 179.4
November 4 - 178.9
November 5 - 178.6
November 6 - 177.5

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SCHECK5 11/8/2012 6:29AM

    Great on the weight loss keep it up!!

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THRIVE2DAY 11/7/2012 4:51AM

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GRANDMABABA 11/6/2012 11:12PM

    Feel better!

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November 5, 2012

Monday, November 05, 2012

I finally was able to rest enough that by this afternoon I feel pretty good.
I know i have to be careful to not overdo the activity until I am healed, but it felt really good today to go for a walk.
I went around the block equaling about .1 mile. emoticon

I also went to the grocery store today to find foods that would help me feel better.
I enjoyed food for the first time in several days.
That may have been a mistake.
None of my family would eat it.
Why would I care about food if I can't get rid of it at the end of the meal?
Plus I ate until I was overfilled.

I guess I go back to the crap they want to eat and tell them I am not hungry, which after looking at it, is mostly true.
At least for now.
Especially since I am only down .3 on the scale to 178.6.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CYNDIANNE45 11/6/2012 2:22AM

    I know what you mean with the food! My kids do the same thing to me. It's like I was feeding them the dogs food or something. That is so awesome you got to get a good walk in...Way to go! You are an inspiration. I want to get from 200 to 150 too! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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