Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Sometimes all it takes is looking at things from a different point of view.
I used toget stressed out a LOT at work. Little things would irritate me and I'd get so mad, sometimes I couldn't even think and solve the problem. And then I learned a little trick!
Any time some customer did something irritating and I start to get mad, I think, "If I were producing a sitcom now, would this be funny?" Usually, the answer is yes. It's kinda hard to get very mad when you're thinking "this would be a GREAT on SNL!"
It works even better when dealing with "interesting" family members :-)
So, next time you get frustrated or mad with someone, try this and see if it works!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
I have two part time jobs, and I love them both!
I am done with school and can read all the trash I want!
I have an awesome boyfriend (even if he is pokey!)
My family loves me, esp. the nephews - so cute!
My cat makes me smile every day.
I eat delicious healthy food every day (what is UP with these avacados?! YUMMM!)
With a single box of $5 hair dye, the gray is gone!
There is nothing like the cheep thrill of some new nail polish or lipstick!
Flowers are in bloom!
Today there was an awesome spring rainstorm!
Life is good!
Monday, May 03, 2010
I know this is wrong. Giving up on a dream should not make you feel good.
BUT - since I have given up on ever sitting for the CPA exam, I feel GREAT! It's like a huge weight has been lifted off of me (even though I've gained "real" weight, I still feel lighter!) I don't have this "I'd only be happy if" feeling, I'm just... happy.
So what if I'm in debt? So what if I'm earning little more than minimum wage?
I'm living my life for me from now on, and not letting other people influence what I SHOULD do because I'm so smart or so talented or whatever.
And yes, I'm gonna lose the weight again, but I TELL YOU I just feel like this time, giving up was the best choice ever!
I'm gonna change my 2010 goals right now. I don't want to be a CPA anymore, so I'm replacing it with I want to be happy
Sunday, April 18, 2010
OK, even after last weeks bog, I still managed to punich my self with food all week. (And that's what it is, isn't it? You know you deserve better but you cram the chocolate down your throat and eat until it hurts because you're mad at yourelf.)
I'm doing the spark stages again, with the book. I've been exercising and all that good stuff, but the emotional eating is a new challenge that I have not faced until this point. At least not to such a degree, on a daily basis.
My fast break goals are
1. Nutrition - don't eat while doing homework. - Not on the list, but this is a big issue with me these past few weeks. In fact, 90% of the weight gain is probably attributable to this.
2. Fitness - Fit in a ten minute walk. I've kept on track with exercise, but this little bit extra will help me not only burn a couple extra calories, but clear my head from the stress that I'll be facing these last two weeks of class.
3. Motivation - Write in your journal 3 times a day. I need this. I'm going to write in the moring, before dinner to motivate myself not to fall into the trap of evening binging while I do my homework, and before I go to bed to reflect on my day.
I've done this before, and I can do it again. I need to get past the guilt and disspointment and be the person I was. I will not let the fact that I'm not sitting for the CPA, or the fact that I'm in debt or anything else rob me of my confidence and self respect.
I can do this.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
What on earth made me think I could be too busy for sparkpeople? You know what being too busy has lead to? Binge eating! I've never had this problem before and now, at least once or twice a week.
These past couple of weeks have been horrible, and now I am making things worse with unhealthy choices. Here's what happened -
I've been going to school for the past four years for one reason only - to become a CPA. That was cut short a year and a half ago when I applied to sit only to be told that my degree was unaccredited and that I didn't qualify. Well, that was pretty awful, and there were some tears, but I moved on and decided - yes, I WILL get an accredited degree and sit for that exam! i'm not giving up!
Well, here I am two years later, ready to sit for the CPA exam - again - only to be told I'm not qualified - again. I cannot express how much I despised sitting in classes that I have taken before or that were far below my level of learning just to meet this requirement to sit for the exam. The ONLY thing that really kept me going was that I could be a CPA when it was over. And now, with only three weeks of school left, I no longer have that to keep me going. Two weeks ago I got a letter from the CPA society denying me again. It doesn't really matter why, but it's create a level of stress I've never confronted before. I go to class, but I'm not really there. I've been avoiding family, and my boyfriend is terrified of saying something that will upset me. It's been a roller coaster of crying and moping, then a day or two "you did your best, time to move on!" and then back to crying.
And the food - I eat perfectly, but on nights when I have to do homework, I binge. I've never binged before, but since learning about this CPA exam, it's like the only way I can get through doing homework that is nothing more than busy work to me now. I haven't gained a lot of weight, because I eat well and exercise the rest of the time, but it terrifies me that I do this! I can't chew gum (I guess I swallow air or something, but I get terrible stomach cramps the next day if I do this!). I can't go for a walk, or do yoga, or get some loving, or do anything because I'm stuck at a computer doing work that I hate! The only thing that gets me through it is food, and lots of it.
I should never have left sparkpeople. I've been using the food tracker, but it's not reflecting what I eat because I get tired of typing after a binge. I just need help getting through this. There's only three weeks left, but this is the hardest thing I've ever done. If I could fast forward, I would.
So that's that. I'm sorry I left sparkpeople. Not just for the loss of support I received, but also for not giving to others. We should never be "too busy" to support each other. This was a valuable lesson for me, as I think in retrospect one of the biggest sources of success for me was posting on the message boards greeting new members and supporting my sparkfriends and complete strangers on the panic board. Starting first thing tomorrow, I am returning to the community - not just the nutrition tracker, because sparkpeople is so much more.
Hugs to you sparkpeople! Fortunately sparkpeople is always there, whether you're smart enough to use it or not.
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