CAR58OLE   43,092
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Feeling Blaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Thursday, July 15, 2010

I can't explain why I am in the funk that I am in... but... I am!

Tonight I am giving in to a few of my challenges of the day...

I went grocery shopping today, I bought: salad fixings, grapes, bananas, light breads, Bagel Thins, FF Cottage Cheese, WW Cream Cheese, Yoplait Light Yogurts, tuna, and light microwave popcorn!

I stayed out of the potato chip aisle... looked at ice cream but decided I can't go there right now... just followed my list and feel good about it!

So my plan of the night, will be to MAKE the salad... and rinse the grapes and set them up in single serving baggies... might eat a salad when it is done... meanwhile I am giving in to an indulgence of wine!

I am tracking it... and STILL not in my calorie range, or carbs, or fat... so guess I had better find SOMETHING to eat that will cover the calories, etc.! :-)

Just hoping to feel better by the morning!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAR58OLE 7/16/2010 6:32PM

    Well I found just the thing for getting those calories in...LOL... nachos, with salsa and reduced fat cheese! :-)

No harm no foul... it's all good... I can overcome it! LOL

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CMAJERAK 7/16/2010 4:09PM

    So? How is your new day? Where ya at, GF?

Overall I'd say your day was a triumph! I know I feel guilty just for thinking about all the crap I want to eat... then realize I didn't REALLY eat any of it! And being short on a few things here and there won't hurt. Remember, it's habits and trends, not what happens on one day!


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THEDARKAURORA 7/15/2010 8:50PM

    Hope your Blah mood gets better. You could try turning on some good music, seems to always help me. And way to go on the grocery shopping trip!
I'm totally stealing you list and adding it to mine! emoticon

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CAR58OLE 7/15/2010 8:48PM

    Thanks... I let tonight get the better of me... but will be back on track and eating healthy TOMORROW!!!

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ZZYYGGY 7/15/2010 7:40PM

    I'm in a blah mood as well. Just keep doing what you're doing.

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4th of July!

Sunday, July 04, 2010

Well friends it is the 4th of July. I have had an OK week, and do NOT want it to be totally unraveled on one holiday!!

I am "planning"...on plenty of water... get in the pool and get some exercise... I have "lightened" some of the traditional foods... I do NOT need large portions of anything... I have fruit to serve (totally non-traditional at our house)... and I will be mindful of my choices all day!

I will NOT sit back and not enjoy the family day, I have to remember I can control my eating, while still enjoying the day!

My oldest son turns 32 tomorrow, so we always have his birthday celebration on the 4th. I AN have a small piece of cake and a small serving of light ice cream...

My biggest downfall will be the chips! I love - love - love potato chips!! SO I didn't buy any! We still have 2 bags left over from previous "parties" so when they are gone, they are GONE! I did not buy the "usual" 5-6 bags of various flavors and styles... that my sisters seem to think "makes" the party!

I am confident that my progress this week will NOT be overturned by weigh in tomorrow evening... at least I hope it isn't! LOL

I am a little nervous about the day, but need to stop stressing over it and enjoy the time with my family...

Hope everyone has a safe and Happy 4th of July! emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAR58OLE 7/5/2010 10:07AM

    Thanks ladies... I think I did well, but of course without measuring / tracking who really KNOWS how well we do?? All I can say is I did well with salad... mini portions of macaroni salad, and vegetarian fat free baked beans... I had grilled chicken breast, stayed away from the hot dogs and hamburgers... I had some chips... but not right from the BAG!! emoticon

I got in the pool and did some treading water... did you know that treading water for 30 minutes burns almost 600 calories?? I enjoy that more than "real" swimming anyway, so good for me! emoticon

We really only had the one meal for the day... so all in all I "think" I did well... I guess WI at WW tonight will tell me just HOW I did do!

Lose / gain / maintain... it's all good, as I know I made better choices than in my "past" and I know I can deal with whatever the scale tells me!!

Thanks for your support... emoticon

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CMAJERAK 7/4/2010 9:58AM

    Good girl! Can you pre-weigh a single serving or two of your favorite chips, log them and move on? Prevent the mindless munching maybe?

Enjoy the party, stick to your plan, and you will feel so good and virtuous after it's all over! emoticon emoticon

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ACROSONIC 7/4/2010 9:56AM

    You can do it! Sounds like you have a plan in place. And if you slip up, make it a small slip up and get back on track tomorrow.

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Death of a Friend

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

My dear friend passed away yesterday. She has been battling cancer for about 11 months ow, and yesterday she finally lost the battle!

I am deeply saddened by her passing... but I do feel a sense of comfort, knowing she is not in pain anymore! I saw her on Sunday, and I know that she would never want to be "alive" like that! She couldn't talk... she could barely move... she was alert enough to smile during a (one sided) conversation with me... it gave me pleasure to know I was still making her smile.

I let my emotions take over last night... but not so out of whack that it did me any "damage". I guess I AM learning a few things here and there!

I am back on track today, and don't anticipate any binges... but I also know it can still happen... I will just make the best choices I can, and work toward the end result.

I am NOT feeling very motivated today... didn't sleep well last night... I think that has something to do with my lack of motivation, but I still have my healthy lunch packed, and hopefully will remain in control whether I feel like it or not!

SO, While I will miss my friend, I also know that my being out of control will NOT bring her back... the only thing I can do to honor her memory, is to be as healthy as I can be... without killing myself!

Rest in peace my Dear Deb... you made my world a better place the past 4 years!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAR58OLE 6/30/2010 8:19PM

    Bovey63... thank you... I too walked in our local Relay, and it was all about her this year!

Carol: Yep... gotta stay / get healthy, and I know I am a better person for knowing her!! You take care of yourself too... and give Drew a hug for me... you also are an amazing woman as Deb was!

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CMAJERAK 6/30/2010 6:26PM

Why ya gotta make me cry?? Seriously, thank you for your beautiful tribute to Deb. You're right, all we can do is keep ourselves healthy and remember that life can be over way too soon, so make the best of it every day.

Take care my friend, and be well. Be good to yourself and your body! Big hugs.

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BOVEY63 6/30/2010 1:11PM

    I am so sorry for the loss of your friend.
On July 16 I will be taking part in our local American Cancer Society Relay-for-Life and will walk a lap in honor of your dear friend.

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Not enough calories???

Friday, June 18, 2010

Please.............. when WAS the last time I didn't eat enough??? Now I seem to be in the "rut" of not eating enough!! I am sure I am tracking everything I eat... not feeling hungry... but it says I have only hit about half my daily calorie range!!

HOW can that be???

I also track everything on WW, and have been OVER my points the past few days... some days it feels like I cannot win, no matter WHAT I do!!!!

I have also been to Curves 3 times this week... apparently I am burning to o many calories for what I am eating... I am so not sure how this can happen!

I will continue to eat "healthy" and track in both places, but I will NOT eat "more" just to satisfy my SP recommended calorie guidelines!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAR58OLE 6/19/2010 8:32AM

    Yes, Deb...she has fallen several times, due to her legs just "giving out" she is bedridden at this point.
She has had to cancel the party she was having for her was to celebrate one DD getting married in May, expecting in August, and the other DD graduated HS last night!
She doesn't seem to want me to come down... not sure if she doesn't want to see me, or doesn't want me to see her... or what exactly...
I just know I want to head down soon... feel like I need to see her one last time? It may not be the last time, but... it doesn't sound very hopeful (to me)!

Anyway... thanks... I need to get back to tracking more faithfully... see if I can't get them to "mesh" better..
Hugs back at you GF... I know it can't be easy with Steven away.

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CMAJERAK 6/18/2010 7:54PM

    Hey, GF! I too get frustrated by that discrepancy. Do you run the daily report to see where you're deficient? If you're getting all your fat and protein, but not enough carbs and fiber (just for example) that could make you over on WW points but short on SP calories.

Also, SP allows you to change your allotted calorie levels (and other nutrients too) if you want. Moot point if you're satisfied on what you're eating, but maybe less mentally frustrating!

Big hugs... don't know exactly what the sad news is, but guessing it's about Deb. Thinking of you! And of her of course. Love ya!

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Relay for Life

Sunday, June 13, 2010

I just completed the local Relay for Life event. Well we walked from Friday night around 6 PM to 2 PM Saturday. They shortened it a bit with the heavy rains that we had!

I walked 10 laps = 5 miles, over the coarse of the event. I shared walking "duties" with the rest of the team... but we kept someone on the track during the complete event.

I got plenty of exercise, but... we also don't have the healthiest of foods while there!

Yesterday I opted for a McMuffin sandwich... INSTEAD of the donuts, crumb and coffee cakes that were there! Was that a good choice? I think so... got my egg and cheese with low fat Canadian Bacon... which filled me up and I didn't snack a lot before lunch! I thought the sugar and carbs in the donuts and such would make me want MORE!

It was a very emotional time for me. A dear friend had breast cancer back in August of last year... she went through the chemo, the surgery and the radiation, only to find that the tumors had moved to her brain. Again with the surgery and radiation... to then be told the cancer cells are in her spinal cord fluid!

Apparently now there is nothing else thy can do... other than try to eleviate some of her pain and discomfort. She has had two episodes of her legs giving out on her, as well as numerous times where her hands and fingers get numb and/or tingly! I was having a hard time this weekend, thinking about all the money being raised and yet they still can't come to a cure for this horrible diease.

Actually made me wonder why the hell I bother? Is it TRULY doing ANY good at all??? I have been walking in our local Relay event for the past 14 years, and still nothiing can be done for my friend!

Along with this came my emotional eating... and the berating of myself... I know thinking back on it won't change it... but I am trying to decide IF I go again next year, what can I bring to substitute for the non-healthy things I had!!

We had chips... mostly baked ones, so not AS bad as usual. I also "lightened" the macaroni and potato salads I made... we had Arnold Sandwich Thins instead of regular burger rolls! I know I made a few better choices... but for some reason I didn't eat the fruit that we had there... it just didn't hit me as a good snack!!

I am back on track (with a couple of exceptions) today... and am planning my meals for the upcoming week...

Don't get me wrong... I am not beating myself up (anymore) for the weekend... I just wish I had drank more water... eaten some of the fruits... walked a little more... but hey... It was only one weekend out of my life... so now I get back in control!! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CMAJERAK 6/13/2010 10:26PM

    You HAVE made progress, see? You did make a few better choices, and fewer poor ones, and you got lots of exercise and raised money for a great cause. I'm just sorry it appears to be too late for Deb, but there IS progress being made!

It's like Drew's spinal cord injury... if he had the same thing happen to him today, he'd have more treatment options at the time of the injury... hypothermia, stem cells, new advances in rehab, etc. Like they say, timing is everything!

Please let Deb know I'm thinking of her and wishing the best for her and sending prayers her way! As well as big warm smooshy hugs for you of course!

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