CALLIKIA   23,798
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Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Thanks to my girl LIMELIGHTSHINES for sharing this. No words are necessary...just watch and gain some much needed perspective about limitations.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CALLIKIA 5/10/2012 9:22AM

    Amen, sister!

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RUSSELLORAMA 5/10/2012 12:19AM

    That gives a big ol' eff-you to those who say that yoga isn't a "real" workout!

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SARAWALKS 5/9/2012 2:59PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BECKYB73 5/9/2012 2:55PM

    I saw that on Facebook the other day...cried and decided that I'm going to really give yoga a try!

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HARMONYBLUE 5/9/2012 2:22PM

    wow. that was just incredible.

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LOWFATFOODIE 5/9/2012 1:43PM

    my yoga instructor posted that on FB yesterday. GREAT stuff!

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JEREMY723 5/9/2012 1:40PM

    Wow. One of the most inspiring videos I've seen in a while. Thanks for sharing!

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Still Unsure

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

I've been struggling with the idea of this second job for...well, since I started. On the one hand, the extra money will be great in getting my family back where it needs to be. Hubs is in between paycheck periods from the old job and new, and I knew that this would help us from falling too far behind. That being said, there's a lot of resentment building up inside of me, and I hate that about myself. Hubs is onto a good thing here...I have to keep reminding myself of that...and this is only temporary.

Only...I'm not so good at "only temporary" because I hate letting people down. I hate knowing that good people are trying to train me on things (and, boy, have I been trained!) because they're counting on me to be the help they need right now. I know my assets. I learn fast and I'm always ready and willing to take on any extra responsiblity if it means helping out the team. Of course, this is a major cause for making me lose my dang mind every now and again, so I'm stuck between trying to settle within myself what I need and trying to help other people with their lives. Sometimes I'm just a little TOO compassionate for my own good.

I have 45 days of this probationary period. Either me or my employers can decide within that time that it's just not working out and just up and leave. But I'm not good at quitting...even when I'm failing (like I have been at losing weight), I can't accept failure or defeat. I can't fathom the thought that I "CAN'T" do something because I hate that word and all it means. So as much as I want to quit, I can't bring myself to do it without giving it the old college try.

That being said, I'm exhausted, and everything else seems to be slipping. Try as I might to keep the fire going to lose weight and's been really hard fighting the need for sleep and rest. Standing for 5-8 hours a day wears my body out so much that by the time I get home I can't fathom the thought of putting it through any more challenges. I thought my body would be better suited to this job after all the training I've given it...but I don't know how people stand still for 5 hours straight without wanting to pull out their hair. And when I try to keep busy...well, certain people at this job want to give me rules about what I'm not supposed to be doing. "You can't bag for me." "You have to stand there." Blargity-blargh, dude. If I can bag for you and still pay attention to the other things that need my attention, then what are you b!tching about? God forbid someone do MORE than what's expected of them, right? You all might have a friggin' heart attack and die or something because someone did more than was required even though they were only getting minimum wage. (Sorry, I just don't work this way. I like to stay busy. An hour spent watching a clock as I do the least amount required is just wasted time to me.)

And the troubles that the standing still is causing are numerous.
My foot hurts from the PF even though I try to stretch it out all the time.
My ankle has started to hurt so much I'm thinking I might need to wrap it for work. It feels like it's going to snap any minute!
My neck area is suffering...a lot. That darn calcified ligament is not doing me any favors and I can feel it pinching my nerves now and again.
My lower back hurts like an SOB...and I know I need another appointment with the chiropractor...I just can't figure out when I can make that happen since I'm working every day.
I know my hips are majorly "off" again (actually, it's my pelvis, but it causes problems everywhere else).
My knees hurt.
And, the most surprising two - my right shoulder has been hurting a lot (I guess from pulling groceries across the scanner over and over again all day) and the finger pads on my left hand are starting to blister and crack (I have no reasoning for friggin' clue...though it may be caused by the soap in the bathrooms as Hubs' hands were eaten up by the that soap when he started there and we were starting to worry he has psoriasis or something).

All I keep thinking is how this job has stripped me of all my confidence and made me feel like the uncapable fat girl once again. I can walk 10 miles but I can't stand still for an hour without wanting to rip out my own insides in order to redirect the pain or make it stop.

All that being said...there have been slight improvements.
Yesterday I worked 5 hours at the store. (Training in yet another area.)
On my 15 minute break, I made myself a protein shake with 2 scoops of powder and a bunch of water.
After work, I grabbed some ham, roasted chicken breast and cheese from the deli and, instead of stopping by one of the 10 food places around me to get food, I went home and made a sandwich instead.
(Bad: I made 2 sandwiches. However, I hadn't eaten since about 8:30am that morning and had only had the shake to keep me going. It should have been enough...but it wasn't.)
For dinner, my oldest whipped up some tacos with ground turkey breast and I made "refried beans" by just blending up some black beans in the food processor.
(Bad: I ate a little too much, but I tried to keep myself in check as much as possible.)

However, I didn't log. Finding time to log has been a major PITA...even though I know I'm not going to get ANYWHERE if I don't do it. I have to log. I can trick myself into thinking I did great and then have a day where I've eaten 3k calories because I didn't remember that I had that cookie or an extra serving of cereal or something.

I feel like I'm starting all over again, so I guess that's what I'll have to do.
I can't be a calorie nazi right now, I just have to know what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong so I can make changes later to adjust.

I also was inspired by my 10-year-old yesterday and the two of us did some ST moves while watching Glee and New Girl last night.

25 modified pushups
15 burpees
150 crunches (well, I've passed that goal for May already!)

It wasn't a lot...but it was better than the nothing I felt like doing. And I would have done more burpees if it weren't for the fact that they hurt my @ss right now. I somehow pulled my gluteal muscles while stretching the other day. Maybe all this standing is giving me a tight tushy or something. *shrug*

The only downside is...I have no desire to go to the gym tonight.
I want to cancel my supervised workout and go home and clean like a madwoman and cook the soup I've been trying to find time to make for the past 5 days. There are too many things on my to-do list and not nearly enough hours in the day.

Plus, I get off work at 4:30pm, which means I COULD be home before 6...but I couldn't get my trainer before 6pm...which means if I do choose to workout tonight, I'll be staying at the gym from 4:45pm until probably 7pm...and I do NOT want to do that. At all.

I might cancel.
Just reschedule it for next week and go burn some calories doing what I really NEED to do.

But I don't want to skip another day of Stronglifts...because I skipped Monday when I pulled my butt. (yes, I know this sounds funny, but it's totally true!)

Hate making them.
I feel like I'm going to let myself down no matter what I do.

And how the hell am I going to feel after working out for 2 hours...because that's what I'll do if I stick around. I can't just "relax" for an hour while I wait for my appointment. I don't work that way. So if I go tonight, I'll do my Stronglift set and THEN do another 45 minutes with the trainer. And how the hell am I going to walk after doing all that?! *sigh*

I guess we'll see...

...I need a nap...
...and a stiff drink...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKLISE 5/9/2012 9:46PM

    Maybe being on your feet all day could compensate for going to the gym?
So maybe you could stay home to make good food and get more sleep.
Having good food choices and getting enough rest are as important as going to the gym.
Don't overdo it. It is just for a little while and then life will get back to normal.
emoticon emoticon

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RUSSELLORAMA 5/9/2012 6:52PM

    Oh E, that sounds so stressful and exhausting. I hope that the rest of your family can pitch in some more; having the boys help you with dinner is a great start. I admire what you're doing so much.

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HEALTH-E-CLARE 5/9/2012 4:47PM

    You sounds super busy. Do they have a sauna at your fitness center. Someitmes relaxing in there for 15 minutes could help relax some of the muscles and tension that's been building with work. Althought I don't know about using a sauna before a workout?!?!

You are so strong and amazing, I hope you get your nap and that stiff drink!

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ARUNNINGKAT 5/9/2012 2:25PM

    emoticon I completely understand being so busy that you can hardly think straight. Good luck to you in making decisions on where to go from here. I already admire your determination to attempt everything that you have on your plate right now.

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MUSOLF6 5/9/2012 1:50PM


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ATROTTIER 5/9/2012 12:06PM

    Thinking of you during this crazy time my friend! I hope you can find a groove in the midst of it all and don't feel "bad" for missing workouts because it's obvious you are working out during this 2nd job for sure! I know what it's like to just skip a workout and get the stuff done at home and personally I would do that instead of the gym tonight because if you are like me it's just in your brain to get your house in order so you can relax in it when you need to...I know you have a great hubby and kids but for some reason Momma can do a whole lot better job at it!! LOL!! Hang in there and for goodness sake try and eat some food during your shift!! =)

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BECKYB73 5/9/2012 12:05PM

    I TOTALLY feel you on the standing for an excessive amount of time...the foot pain too! On occasion I have to teach classes and do presentations for our employees and that always requires me, on my feet for 8+ hours a day. The last time I did this my back was so wrecked and I was so exhausted I went to bed at 8pm most nights....and slept hard. It SUCKS.

With that said, are you wearing your superhero suit to work every day...because you should be. Have you taken a good look at all the stuff on your to do list and delegated things that someone else; like Hubs or the kids could do? It seems like you're sacrificing and working so hard for your family, that maybe they can pick up some slack, so you can maintain a shred of sanity?

I dunno. Bottomline is YOU ROCK and I know you'll get through this and triumph!

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MAGPIE17 5/9/2012 10:48AM

    E, can any of the items on your to-do list be crossed off by hubs or the boys? I'm sorry things are so tough right now...when does hubs start receiving paychecks again? Personally, I'd quit job #2 when that happens - I know you don't quit, but if you don't *need* the money really badly, you need some downtime. And you have a lot of physical symptoms that make me think the money's not worth it. My two cents...

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HARMONYBLUE 5/9/2012 10:37AM

    I agree; there are no bad decisions. I think you are asking the right questions "How will I feel?: Regarding the workout tonight, if you decide to go, you may challenge yourself to read or meditate before your session, not sitting around doing nothing but productive relaxation. Regarding tracking, I feel your pain. On busy weeks it is such a chore. Could you carry a little notebook to jot down your meals and an approx guesstimate of calories throughout the day(s) until you get a chance to log them? Regarding the second job, kudos to you. It is a brutal schedule. If you have to stand all day, think of it as a good chance to perfect your mountain pose! but if you decide to quit, there is no shame in saying it's just too much!

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MAMADWARF 5/9/2012 10:34AM

    I cannot stand. I can walk, sit, lay but standing KIlls me! In feel like my whole body is compresssing. I also understand about being busy at work. I hate it being slow!!!!!!
If I'm busy I can put up with anything. It sounds like you are doing the best you can...what else can you do than that?

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SUGIRL06 5/9/2012 10:30AM

You just have a lot going on right now. I totally get the whole 2 jobs thing (been there, done that). It is hard and seems neverending but like you said, this is temporary. Is it planned that you are going to leave once the hubs is stable at his new job? Maybe keeping that in mind will help you see the light at the end of the tunnel so the speak?

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MARATHON_MOM 5/9/2012 10:15AM

    Hang in there! You know, standing for 5 hours is burning calories itself!
I can't even imagine working 2 jobs, and trying to juggle a family and workouts, and all that goes along with all of that. I did the 2 jobs thing once, and it lasted all of about 3 months.

Good luck!

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CINDYSDAY 5/9/2012 10:09AM

    Remember to breathe you are making me tired! I like making lists to get things done and figuring out what is most important! Take care!

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BAYBELIEVER 5/9/2012 10:00AM

    One day at a time. One step at a time. I understand your desire to cancel tonight, but think about doing this for yourself too. To make you stronger. To stay headed in the right direction. Of course, making the soup could be that too. So, neither decision will be wrong. I just like you lifting with me!

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Monday, May 07, 2012

As in...this is trying my patience and resilience.
And as in...but I'm still trying.

No, my food choices have not the best. I haven't been able to get enough water in me. I can't seem to find a second to breathe, let alone get a workout in. And my body aches like I just ran a marathon (I'm guessing).

The last day I had off was last Sunday. I have literally worked every day in May. And it's getting really difficult to stay on track as I try to adjust.

Let's just get right to it. I haven't done the best job at keeping up with it. But I've been taking mental notes and trying to figure out how I'm going to adjust and make this work.

I'm learning that some of my expectations are unrealistic.
And some of them...well, I just have to figure out how to make it work.
This seems like a huge adjustment period all around, but I have faith that I will get used to it eventually. (Or, at least, I hope I do each and every day.)

Last Monday through Thursday I worked my regular desk job.
And then Friday, Saturday, and Sunday each I put in 8 hours at the store.
And it was the first of the month, so anyone who has worked in a grocery store can tell you that we've been completely swamped. I was supposed to train in the front office (customer service desk) on Saturday, but we were so busy all dang day that I ended up training for no more than about 30 minutes and the rest of the time I spent at a register ringing people up.
I have a newfound respect for grocery store cashiers, I can tell you that.

Last night I pulled the late shift and was the very last person on the front end to midnight. *bangs head on desk* Thank goodness I didn't have to be at work today until 8:30am and I got to sleep in a tiny bit.

I do have a feeling that there are going to be no more early morning (as in 4am) wake up calls for workouts. I'm going to have to switch to evening workouts again, I'm pretty sure.

As for food... Well, I work in a grocery'd think it'd be pretty easy to find something to eat there. But there's not really anywhere to prepare anything. Plus, we only get 30 minutes to buy food, cook food, and eat food. So that doesn't really leave very much time. A sandwich from the deli and a side of carrots and hummus works, and I've bought a few protein bars and am basically living off of G2 while at the store. Adjustments need to be made and I really need to work on getting used to all the standing around so that I can focus on me for those 30 minutes and what my body really needs in that time.

Did I mention that I don't have a single day off this week? Tomorrow the state is off for election day, but I'm pulling a shift at the store. Wednesday through Friday I'll be at my "normal" job, and then Saturday I've pulled another shift. The only good thing I can say is that they're not both 8-hour shifts. 5 hours tomorrow and 5.5 on Saturday. And then who knows...our schedule for next week will be out on Friday.

So, yeah...I'm struggling a bit. I was at 305 on Sunday, but I can't say if that's a true read or not. 1) I haven't been getting all my water in. 2) I've been on my feet more than ever this weekend. 3) I'm stressed beyond all belief. 4) My body, and my mind, are both confused as to what the hell is going on.

I do know that I haven't had a fresh homecooked meal in 2 weeks. And it's killing me. I MUST find time to cook...but I'm going to have to be quick about it to fit it all in. So I'll be on the hunt for quick and healthy recipes.

Trying ....
we'll see how it goes.

BTW - If you see my sanity, could you let it know I need it back? Thanks!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUGIRL06 5/8/2012 2:35PM

    I think you should tape those side-by-side progress pictures to your scale so that you stop getting on it. Just sayin'...

Comment edited on: 5/8/2012 2:35:47 PM

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DRB13_1 5/8/2012 12:54PM

    emoticon Hang in there! Orientations take a lot of time, the routine will settle down by the end of the month (you'll breathe before then, though!)
Sounds like you are trying to make healthy choices for lunch - don't forget about batch cooking since it's been two weeks since a home cooked meal. Chili with beans is one of my favorites.
Best wishes at both jobs and thinking of you...

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AMANDA_C 5/7/2012 6:19PM

    Sounds exhausting! But I agree - use the crockpot & make meals a head of time & freeze them. This has been my best 2 "secrets" for when my family get busy.....

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SARAWALKS 5/7/2012 4:26PM

    Some great suggestions here so I will just say emoticon
also what LOWFATFOODIE DO need a day off now and's OK to say "no" once in a while!

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CINDYBUNNIE 5/7/2012 2:20PM

    I also recommend using a crock pot to make some of your meals. They're awesome, especially if you can get one with a timer, because it'll switch to warm once your meal is done cooking for the period of time you put in. You can make a lot of food and freeze individual portions. To save time in the morning, mix all your ingredients the night before in a bowl, then put it in the crock pot before you leave in the morning.

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GASPARA 5/7/2012 12:14PM

    I live with a similar schedule. I work full time and I'm a full time student too. I try freezer meals whenever I get a breather I prepare what I need then it's in the freezer and ready when I am. It's a way to cook once and get several meals for later. Almost like cheating but better!

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LOWFATFOODIE 5/7/2012 11:59AM

    You can't work forever without taking a break. Think about NOT taking an extra shift one of the days you have off from your "real job". If you don't to a break soon, your body (and mind) will start to shut down on its own and you won't have a choice-- you'll be unproductive, get sick, and useless to everyone.
Please don't throw away your health for money.

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KARVY09 5/7/2012 10:55AM

    Great suggestions below! I know it's tough, but you'll adjust, and if not, then it's time to do only what you can manage and know you gave it a good shot. Hugs.

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BOB240 5/7/2012 10:53AM

    Sanity - is for the weak.... :)

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BAYBELIEVER 5/7/2012 10:33AM

    I say crockpot too. A friend of mine sent me this link a while ago. You might want to check it all that free time you have, it's 30 days of Paleo friendly crockpot recipes. I haven't tried any yet, but will be.
Hang in there. You are doing just fine. Adjusting takes time and you are making note of what is needed.

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MAGPIE17 5/7/2012 10:09AM

    Oh, E, I'm sorry...That sounds so stressful! Bring the crockpot back into rotation - that way, you can have a nice, fresh, home-cooked meal waiting for you when you get home.

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BOB240 5/7/2012 9:30AM

    Good to see you back....

Shops are hard to work in.

1] You're probably accumulating a lot of NEAT while working. Easily 500 - 100 calories. If you work harder you'll burn more and your boss will love you This is as good as cardio

2] I think it's packed lunch time. Not so common in the States but in Europe people take control of their lunch by using a lunch box. It's also fast and cheap (soup/ tuna helps )

3] Throw in a protein drink (cheaper than bars and sweeter). If I've got a busy set of meetings I tend to use these as I can drink them in the corridor in twenty seconds.

4] Breakfast... Oats+ skimmed milk. This keeps you together. Hits macros.

5] Gym. Bust it down to pure strength. 5x5 on leg presses, bench, bentover rows and deadlifts no more. Done in 45 minutes - less. Only 3 times a week. Hits all major muscles.

Above is not a plan for life but gets you through tricky bits WITH constant improvement

Comment edited on: 5/7/2012 9:33:01 AM

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CINDYSDAY 5/7/2012 9:22AM

    Take care of yourself the best that you can! emoticon

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Why You Can't Trust the Scale

Thursday, May 03, 2012

So, I bit the bullet last night and asked my son to take some progress shots of me. I probably should have put on better pants as these don't quite fit me anymore, but, alas, such are the woes of "weight loss".

We've all been told a million times that the scale is not a good measure of weight loss. We can fluctuate from day to day. Water retention. Bloating. "Muscle weighs more than fat." (BTW - if you don't already see the flaw in logic behind that one, look harder. The correct phrase is - "Muscle is more dense than fat.") Ya-de-ya-de-ya.

Trust me, I, like so many of you, thought it was nonsense BS fed to people like us that are having trouble staying motivated when we aren't seeing progress on the scale.

Which I haven't.
Like, at all.

The past few months...okay, basically all of this year and the better part of 2011...has looked like friggin' sketch for a very boring roller coaster at a local amusement park when plotted on a graph. My yo-yo plateau has become the source of many "inside jokes" in my family. "Ooh, you're eating a carrot! You're going to gain two pounds!" "Ooh, you went pee?! There goes 5 pounds!"

It's kinda funny...until it's not.

But I'm going to take all of those doubts and worries right out of your pretty little heads right now and tell you the one most important lesson I've learned that you don't want to hear again.

That scale of yours doesn't know JACK!
He's a liar!
He likes to cheat you and trick you and steal from you.
He's only trying to get you down.
He's the worst emotional abuser I've ever had the displeasure of meeting.

And he means NOTHING. I promise.
And I have proof.

What you are about to see are progress pictures from January 2012 to yesterday, May 2, 2012. The weight loss difference displayed in these two pictures is miniscule. About 2-4 pounds, tops...according to that friggin' liar with his little beeping dial of doom.

(And, for the record, I tried to weigh myself today, just for the purposes of this blog. I feel bloated today and I'm likely ABOVE the weight of the January pictures...but three tries on the scale and it was a no-go. Even Mr. Scale knows we're taking a break...and apparently he's none too pleased. Ah-well. Time for him to feel the emotional sting! HAHA!)

Now... on to the photographic evidence.
Before Pictures - January 2012, Weight: 306 pounds
After Pictures - May 2012, Weight: *shrug* Last I checked it was 302 (Sunday)

Be sure to check the waist/hips area, as that's where I've seen the most improvements (well, my legs too, but you can't see them for my poor choice in attire).
There you go. Enjoy!

I would also like to note that the progress you see before you was mostly achieved through strength training in the form of heavy lifting and body weight exercises. LITTLE to NO CARDIO WAS INVOLVED.

Yea, I heard you gasp. Go ahead, don't believe me.

In December of last year I started to develop serious plantar fasciitis in my right foot. It remains to this day (although, thankfully, it has been healing since I've basically sworn off most forms of cardio exercise...even walking). So I stopped running. And Zumba was a no go. And not long after I had to give up most walking workouts as well. Everything bothered my foot (and still does to this day). Yes, even the rowing machine and the bike tweak it, though not as much as the treadmill or the elliptical. So I did the only thing I could...I started lifting and working on building lean muscle.

So for those of you firmly under the belief that you MUST do cardio in order to "lose weight"...well, maybe you're right. Remember, I've only lost, at most, four pounds in 4 months. But, even so, I'm sorry you had to see those pictures...because they might just prove that you can get lean without running 20 miles on the treadmill. *shrug*

(For the record, I'm not saying running is bad. In fact, you can ask most of my closest friends and they'll tell you I miss running so much that it hurts my wee 'lil heart sometimes. I'm just saying that there might be truth in what every figure competitor and bodybuilder has ever said -- Cardio is not necessary to slim down.)

Just in case you've are pictures from exactly 2 years ago today, when I was weighing 403 pounds and just really starting out.

And, just for fun and because we were taking pictures last's my progress on Dancer Pose and Standing Split Pose.


Standing Split

For the record, the kids and I only completed one round last night of my crazy homemade circuit. We're going to try to amp it up on Saturday and do 2 or 3 in a row. We've made a competition out of my May "Iso" Goals as well. Each of us put $2 in a jar on the kitchen counter. The person who does the most of the pushups, planks, crunches, burpees, mountain climbers, etc. that I have mapped out for May will win the entire $6 pot. Should be a fun challenge for all of us! I love getting the kids involved (and am SO happy that my oldest, Logan, decided to join Ethan and I in the challenge)!

Stronglift Workout B scheduled for after work tonight...then maybe a late dinner with a friend. We shall see!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CWHEATLEY 5/9/2012 6:54PM

    You are amazing!!! You look absolutely fantastic. I love that you can continue to look beyond what the scale says and are focusing on how you feel and how you look. Keep up the great work!

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CLHENDY1 5/9/2012 1:53PM

    Congrats!! You've made a great transformation! Love the yoga poses at the end! Keep up the good work!

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SUGIRL06 5/8/2012 2:33PM

    LOVE the yoga poses!!!! And look at you! Definitely a different! I agree 100% that weight lifting definitely makes you smaller faster. Paired with cardio is good but like you said, it is difficult for you so you just gotta hit those weights! Put on that muscle girl!

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RUSSELLORAMA 5/4/2012 12:16AM

    Disappearing apron! Say buh-bye!


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ATROTTIER 5/3/2012 6:31PM

    awesome!!! yeah the scale is dumb and you are doing great!

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PICKYNICKI 5/3/2012 4:38PM

    I love reading your blogs and seeing your pictures. You are so inspiring!! Keep fighting!

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GETFIT2LIVE 5/3/2012 1:56PM

    Who cares what the scale says when you can SEE the changes in your body? That's why pictures are SOOOOOO helpful--we don't see it in the mirror, but in pictures, there's no denying it. Muscle doesn't weigh less than fat, but it sure takes up a lot less space, and your pictures are proof of that. Way to go!

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    Your progress is wonderful! And your blog is just what I needed today. I, too, have been staying within the same 5 pounds since Oct 2011. It used to frustrate me - up until about the end of March this year if I'm honest. But since Oct 2011 - little no weight loss, but 3 inches lost on my waist alone! And my other measurements have gone down too. I am into strength training as well, not so much cardio anymore, and as one of my former trainers said "the scale is a b*tch and she LIES" - sounds like your scale and my scale should start dating lol.

Keep up the great work - you have much to be proud of!


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MAGPIE17 5/3/2012 12:26PM


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ERIN1128 5/3/2012 12:04PM

    Wow, you really have lost inches!! Awesome!

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BAYBELIEVER 5/3/2012 11:59AM

    This is awesome! So glad you did this so you could prove to yourself again how amazing you are!

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BECKYB73 5/3/2012 11:25AM

    I LIke this a lot!

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HEALTHY4ME 5/3/2012 11:13AM

    Awesome and ironically my knee is really bothering me today, so though you know you should do some wts, you have the stuff, and you know after menopause.... and then lo and behold yet another proof positive!!
you are doing great!!! keep on doing cos it will soon show on the LIAR lol


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CINDYSDAY 5/3/2012 11:01AM

    You are such an inspiration!

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RACHNC26 5/3/2012 11:00AM

    Wow! I am super glad that I ran across your blog. I was just blogging myself about how the scale isn't showing any of the "progress" I am making. I can definitely tell that you have lost weight. Keep up the wonderful work and if you don't mind, I'm going to add you as a friend. I would love to watch your transformation! Thanks again for the motivation and PROOF that the scale is the devil. Lol. Have a wonderful day.

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PIXIEMOM13 5/3/2012 10:46AM

    You look *amazing* and I love your progress pictures.

I'm glad to see you write this... I have been on a stupid see-saw plateau for the past 6 months or so and its really #$%#$#ing me off. (I should take some pictures because I know while the scale hasn't budged +/- 6lbs, I am now can fit in a size smaller than before.)

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DIVEGODDESS 5/3/2012 10:45AM

    I am always telling people to forget the scale!! The number on the scale is just the gravitational pull toward the earth, nothing else!! You look like you lost at least 20 lbs in that picture! Go by how you look, how your clothes fit and your measurements!! Fat takes up more space than muscle!! My example is a rock and a marshmallow of the same size. Which weighs more?

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MARATHON_MOM 5/3/2012 10:31AM

    Lookin' good! I see a big difference in those pictures!

I am a firm believer in the fact that you don't have to do cardio to lose, after the first phase of LiveFit. I only lost .2 (yes, two tenths) of a pound in April, but lost 3.25 inches!

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SARAWALKS 5/3/2012 10:23AM

    THAT IS JUST...WAY. COOL. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ACCT1908 5/3/2012 10:18AM

    OMG GIRLIE!! You look FREAKIN AMAZING!! keep doing what you are's working!

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FROGGERHKC 5/3/2012 10:18AM

    You are doing amazing! The difference is very noticeable! Fuhk the scale, keep doing what you're doing because it is working! :D

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TREP13 5/3/2012 10:17AM

    What a difference in just four months! All of that ST is really smoothing you out and giving you that coveted hourglass shape. Keep it up! You're looking great!

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CLESSFAT 5/3/2012 10:06AM

    You look amazing! Keep up the great work! You have motivated me!

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THOMS1 5/3/2012 10:04AM

    emoticonYou are looking great! Keep up the good work and I agree the scale is not to be trusted at times. emoticon

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CALLIKIA 5/3/2012 10:03AM

    Yeah, I'm pretty sure that second shot of dancer is me about to fall over. *lol* I can hold it just fine for a while if I'm concentrating but with 2 dogs, Hubs, cars going by thinking I must have lost my mind, and then my son trying to snap pictures...well, concentration wasn't really high up there. :)

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HARMONYBLUE 5/3/2012 10:00AM

    Awesome progress pics and thanks for the yoga pics. It will be interesting to see your pics as you progress through poses. You must have great balance. You might be able to get a shot of me in Dancer if you are quick to do it before i topple over LOL.

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AMANDA_C 5/3/2012 9:49AM

    You look amazing! I think your progress pictures show just how great you are doing & why I hate the scale too! Once I get over this bronchitis I have going on I will be getting back into the fitness & I will definitely be adding more strength training so I can look like you!!!

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LOSE4LIFE47 5/3/2012 9:45AM


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What Comes After

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Yesterday was a great day. It was also a bad day.

Let me start off by thanking all of my new Sparkfriends and the goodie but oldies who stopped by to lend support and encouragement after my "Lightbulb Moment" blog yesterday. (And special thanks again to my girl Karvs - she's back! - for inspiring it.) I wrote it mostly for me, but also for all of you...because I think we all need to empower ourselves. No matter what shape, size, or configurement (*lol*) we have our own worth...we just have to learn to reach out and claim it.

But as much as I can tell you that the scale doesn't run my life, just know that, like most of you, it still haunts me. I had to force myself to stay off of it this morning. Breaking up is hard to do my friends...but he was no good for me and we really do need some time apart.

This morning I almost did backslide, though. (Thanks, New Girl for the new phrase!)

In addition to this difficult breakup, my life is full of chaos and turmoil right now as changes have been set in motion that seem to be defining the next chapter of my life. Hubs is moving into a new venture and while it's exciting and promising as all get out, I'm the kinda girl that both loves change and is scared as hell by it. Add to that my new part-time job, which is also promising, but poses its own set of challenges and, well, I haven't slept in about two weeks. Not really. I'll fall asleep and then wake up gasping because of all the worries that are plaguing me. (Hubs says it's pretty annoying, actually... *lol* I told him he should be thankful he's been able to actually sleep and not have to live it.)

But yesterday, after finally owning up and releasing some of my weight loss woes...
Last night I slept.
I slept long and hard.
And I even woke up this morning at 4am for my morning workout...
and then chose to sleep some more.

Don't worry, I'll get my workout in. I've been looking forward to this one for two days, actually. I'm going to get started on checking off my "iso" stuff from my May goal sheet. I've created a killer (probably) circuit that I can do ANYWHERE. Which meant I didn't need to go to the gym at all today if I didn't want to. I think that in itself also released a lot of my fears and tensions and worries allowing me to sleep last night. I even asked my youngest (who has been working out about 4 times a week with my NTC app in an effort to condition himself for the upcoming football season) if he maybe wanted to do it with me tonight.

I can't tell you how pumped I am.
And scared.
But mostly pumped.

I think I might actually challenge my son to join me this month and see if we both can't hit my May goals...and see if there's any he'd like to add to them. Maybe each weekend we'll challenge each other in to a "Workout Off" (kinda like a dance off, but with ST moves and stuff). Could be fun, right?

If I learned anything yesterday after reading and watching brilliant blogs and vlogs from MOSTMOM1 (seriously, check her out! it's inspiring!) it's that exercise doesn't have to be dull and boring. Sure, some of it is serious business (my Stronglift 5x5), but the rest can be fun and silly and goofy.

I think it's high time I brought some fun back into this world of mine!

Goals for today:

* Eat on track. I'm going to shoot for an average calorie intake of 2147. I like the oddness of that number. *lol*

* Stay away from the ice cream! *lol*

* Workout tonight with my son. Here's our circuit, which we'll do 2x:

15 modified pushups
1 minute mountain climbers
15 regular crunches
5 burpees
1 minute plank
1 minute jump rope
15 raised leg crunches
1 minute mountain climbers
15 pushups
5 burpees
15 "BigTinys"
1 minute jump rope
1 minute modified plank
1 minute mountain climbers
15 reverse crunches
5 burpees
1 minute side plank
15 oblique crunches (each side)

Breathe! and Repeat once

* Take progress pictures.

One other challenge for myself. I'd like to start photographically recording the new yoga challenge moves I've set for myself. For the record, a while back I challenged myself with Dancer Pose:

I had to hold onto support at first, but now I can do this pretty consistently (though it's not exactly pretty and graceful yet! *lol*). I still have more work to do to get it a little more advanced:

(Nowhere near this yet!)

And then last month I challenged myself with a standing split:

At first I simply raised one leg from downward dog pose. Then I progressed to bringing my arms in closer to my leg. Just yesterday I was able to bend at the waist while bringing one foot in the air behind me and place my hands on the floor next to my foot. But my back leg isn't quite straight yet...that's the progress I'll have to make (if possible).

I thought to myself yesterday, though... Wouldn't it be nice for all of you to see this big girl struggle and then progress through poses most people would think aren't possible? *shrug* It could lend some support to people out there who have that silly mindset that fat girls don't do yoga. I promise you, they do. (At least, this one does!) And it'll be a great reminder to me of other NSVs I've marked down along this thing I no longer call a journey of weight loss but a journey of self-betterment.

Any interest in seeing some not graceful attempts at some beautiful poses? *lol*
And feel free to hit me with new pose challenges, but understand that I might have to turn some down because I have considerations (back issues, a misaligned pelvis, osteoarthritis in my knees, and a calcified ligament in my neck) that have to be taken into account. (Not to mention body weight, which does affect my ability to do some moves.

Have a happy day, everyone! It's May! Only 8 weeks until summer! Let's make 'em count!!
emoticon now... emoticon later! :)

(Photos courtesy of and

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUGIRL06 5/8/2012 2:30PM

    I love the yoga idea! I love yoga period and like trying new poses too. Haven't done it in a while though!

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ROMNEY3 5/3/2012 11:37AM

    would love yoga pictures, then maybe I could figure out how to start.

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HEALTH-E-CLARE 5/3/2012 8:45AM

    I just love the fact that you and your son are doing workouts together! I might steel that workout tonight because I have limited time between work and dinner.

Love the yoga pose challenge too. Can't wait ot see your poses and how they are progressing.

Let's rock the month of May!

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TEMPENATIVE 5/2/2012 10:00PM

    thanks for describing the big tiny, im gonna have to read that a few more times before I attempt lol

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AMANDA_C 5/2/2012 1:54PM

    Thank you - my day has not been too wonderful & I needed your blog.

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ERIN1128 5/2/2012 12:38PM

    You're killin' it!

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SUGARSMOM2 5/2/2012 10:23AM

  good work out . keep up the this feeling good about yourself .

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JIBBIE49 5/2/2012 10:23AM


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HARMONYBLUE 5/2/2012 9:48AM

    I not only love the idea of you photographing yourself progressing through these yoga poses, I think I might steal it.

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VICKYMARIEC 5/2/2012 9:34AM

    I LOVE progress pics and workout pics. I'm a HUGE picture taker so i love seeing pics of others. I REALLY love the idea of you and your son working out together. What better way to help one another and spend some time together. Now how about this hubs of yours? If he doesn't want to workout he COULD take some pics of the two of you while you two are working out. Looking forward to seeing how your workout goes tonight!

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SARAWALKS 5/2/2012 9:22AM

    I read your blog yesterday and LOVED it but didn't manage to write. So happy you slept well last night! Go for those yoga poses, I love yoga and you are reminding me how much I used to enjoy those classes. Off to approximate some sun salutations... emoticon and I do mean approximate! emoticon

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CALLIKIA 5/2/2012 9:16AM

    BigTinys...hrm. It's one my trainer had me do and I don't know that it's the actual name of a workout. Let me see if I can figure it out... *lol* Nope, can't find it. I'll try to describe it.

Lay on the ground on your back. Raise both arms straight above your head, legs straight out below you (below you? know what I mean... *lol*). That's the "big" for the tiny. You bring your legs in, bending at the knees, while at the same time you bring your arms in, bending at the elbows - knees to elbows (making yourself "tiny" according to Tanner, my trainer *lol*). Then back to big, and so forth. Does that make sense?

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GREFF13 5/2/2012 9:14AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

I love New Girl! Also keep up on the goals! I am have chose mine and now are working towards them.

Those yoga poses would kill me! lol I pretty much enjoy any type exercise except yoga and I don't know why that is.

Best of luck!

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BAYBELIEVER 5/2/2012 9:06AM

    And what are big tinys?? That's a heck of a workout! You should feel pretty great about yourself after that! Keep that trend of feeling great about yourself going!!

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