Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Yesterday flew by and when 6pm rolled around I was more than ready to get my lift on! It's funny how excited I get when it's time for me to earn some sweat! It doesn't hurt that Hubs got a killer job offer yesterday - though he just told me it's not quite official yet as it's not in writing - so the good news spurred me on too.
Last night was Legs! YAY!
Leg Extensions - 1 set @ 70, 2 sets @ 80
Wide Stance Barbell Squat - 3 sets @ 55
Barbell Lunges - 1 set @ 45, 2 sets @ 55 *
Single-Leg Kettlebell Deadlift - 1 set @ 25, 2 sets @ 30
Lying Leg Curls - 3 sets @ 70
Seated Calf Raises - 3 sets @ 70
Standing Calf Raises - 2 sets @ 75, 1 set @ 80
Time: 55 minutes
Avg HR: 131
Max HR: 160
Cals Burned: 570 (WHAT!?)
Fat Cals: 32%
So I can sacrifice some fat cal % burn to burn more calories if I keep my HR up the whole time (tried to stay above 113 at all times). Not sure what's best, but I wasn't too worried about it as I knew I was working hard.
* About lunges... I shouldn't be doing them. Anyone have an alternative because they cause my PF to flare up like crazy and I'm trying to heal my stupid foot right now, not make it worse?!
Yesterday I started noticing how this increase is going to affect me. By the third or fourth exercise I could feel myself starting to "fall apart" as it were. And I honestly doubt I would've made it through without the boost I got from the supplement I just purchased.
On a recommendation from my ever awesome SUGIRL, I bought some Xtend Watermelon powder. Now, first of all, let me make a general statement about these powder supplements. Both this stuff and my Body Fortress protein powder call for 1 scoop with 8 ounces of water. B-friggin'-S, dude! I dilute the protein powder with a few extra ounces of water and it doesn't taste quite as gritty and gross. With the Xtend? If you drank it the way you're supposed to...well, you must like drinking syrup! That stuff is SO thick at that ratio! No way I can stomach it! So I just put one small scoop in my 28 oz bottle and fill 'er up. Lasts my whole workout and tastes pretty good too. More hint of watermelon flavor vs. watermelon syrup.
And what a great time for my package to get here with that very product, because I honestly felt like every sip gave me a jolt. Not sure if that was mental or physical, but I'm tending toward the latter for one simple reason - Hubs agrees.
Yesterday Hubs had an interview for a much better job. By the end of the interview, he received a handshake and a job offer and he was so excited as the new job is set to start either the end of this month or the beginning of next. Right now Hubs has been working nights stocking shelves at Kroger. As much as he is a night owl, however, the schedule has been wearing on him. Plus, 3 employees have gotten other jobs and 1 seems to have disappeared...and there are only about 6-7 on night shift crew anyhow. That means Hubs has worked just about 10 days in a row as he keeps getting called in to work on his days off. With the job offer in his head, Hubs said it was just about impossible to get any sleep yesterday. In addition to that, he said his legs have been screaming at him because he's worked so many days and has had to do double or triple the workload because of the lost crew members. As he was laying in bed talking about how sore he was, an idea popped into my head.
I told him I would be sharing some of my Xtend to see if it helped him out. Couldn't hurt, right? He asked me what it was and I just said it was "Gatorade for bodybuilders." *lol* He's not usually one to buy into my supplement nonsense (which is funny considering his entire family swears by vitamins and natural supplements vs. any drug prescribed by a doctor - but he's "BIG STRONG MAN" and doesn't hardly ever want to admit he might need "help" getting by), but he immediately relented. (Ha! I win!) He still seemed skeptical, but I instructed him to take his drink and just try it out.
I just called him this morning to check on how last night went. I asked him if the drink helped at all. His response? "Oh my God! I turned to Timmy (his boss) at one point and said, 'Man! I'm working on 4 hours of sleep and my wife gave me this drink...I don't know what's in it but I'm not quite sure it's legal! I feel great!! I'm not sore at all!" So, maybe it does work the way I feel it working for me too. Once again this morning, without that stuff I fear I may have been dead in the water. Jamie Eason is no joke, my friends!
This morning was Back & Biceps:
Hammer Lat Pulldowns - 1 set @ 70, 1 set @ 85, 1 set @ 95
Wide-Grip Lat Pulldowns - 3 sets @ 60
Seated Narrow-Grip Cable Rows - 2 sets @ 60, 1 set @ 65
T-Bar Row - 1 set @ 45, 2 sets @ 70
Hyperextensions - 3 sets
Barbell Curls - 3 sets @ 45
Incline Dumbbell Curls - 3 sets @ 20
Hammer Curls - 3 sets @ 15
Avg HR: 119
Max HR: 160
Cal Burned: 386
Fat Cals: 38%
Not too shabby. I was having problems keeping my HR up in the beginning, but after a few more exercises...no problem! *lol*
One more thing - I now prefer my morning workouts to those in the evening. It's really hard to budget calories and take into account calories burned throughout the day when you don't workout until 6:15 pm. I had figured on about 300 calories in my exercise, so I ate accordingly (it also didn't help that I missed a bit of my day by sleeping in, so I think maybe it will all even out in the end???). Then I was surprised by the calorie burn and there was no time to make it up. When it's in the morning, I can figure things out a little better, eat a little extra here and there.
Yesterday's Calories --
Calories Consumed: 2169
Calories Burned: 570
Net Calories: 1599
Okay, getting a bit better. I also figured out my calories for today and should be doing even better.
If all goes right...
Calories Consumed: 2104
Calories Burned: 386
Net Calories: 1718
So, yeah. Things are going well. Not too sore in my legs today, but that might come later. I am noticing my calves popping out a bit, which excites me to no end. First my shoulders are like rocks, then my calves are starting to catch up to what I expect of them. Hoping all these muscles start eating away some fat soon! Today the scale had me down to 301 again, so we're moving in the right direction yet again. Going to try to stay more alert on these calories throughout the week and hope that in a couple more weeks I finally get my 299. I keep feeling denied and it's really pissing me off! I figure - go ahead, get mad, and then do something about it. Use that anger to fuel the next workout, and the next, and the next. And I keep reminding myself that even if I still weigh 300 pounds but I fit into a size 12, who the hell cares about my actual weight? I mean, of course I care, but there are certainly more important things...like wearing cute pants and not worrying so much about how I look because I know I'm looking fabulous. Already my abs look smaller too...though that just may be a result of the positive feeling I'm getting from my workouts. I'll probably measure again soon (maybe today, or maybe I'll wait until next Sunday), just to see if I've actually lost my mind or if I'm onto something and actually seeing results. Either way, I feel great! And I wouldn't trade that for many things in this world!
Keep on lifting and doing what you do.
16 days in...still going strong!
Monday, April 09, 2012
So today is day 15 of the program. What have I technically lost so far since starting?
Day 1 - 308.4
Day 7 - 301.8
Day 15 - 302.6
Lost so far = 5.8 pounds
The first week was awesome. Almost 8 pounds gone in a week. Second week? Not so much. I gained almost a pound. And I actually think I witnessed this "famine" or "starvation" mode everyone talks so much about. We were going well good and fine on those low calories until about Wednesday or Thursday of last week, when my body started to rebel. By Friday I was up 4-5 pounds. With as "on" as I was being, I knew it wasn't a fault of me not following the program. So I did what any (in)sane person would do. I dropped the program and let myself eat more on the weekend. It actually saved me from a 5 pound gain this week.
I got the idea from one of my phone's applications called Target Weight. This application suggests calorie cycling in a way I've never quite seen before. It calls for me to eat about 1800 calories on Monday through Thursday, around 3k Friday and Saturday, and then a more modest 2100 on Sunday. Since I'd spent the week around 1400 calories, I let myself have a bit of leeway on the weekend and ate off plan here and there and even had some of my son's birthday cake and some M&Ms. And went from 304.2 pounds on Saturday morning to 302.6 this morning. And now I'm back on track...sorta.
It's going to be a bit of a stretch today. I took off work this morning and didn't get my AM workout in for one reason only - I COULD NOT get up this morning. My body doesn't allow me to "sleep in" on the weekends anymore (well, I guess you could call 7am sleeping in since I get up at 4am now). It requires a more regular schedule from me, not this "catch up" of sleep I used to do on the weekends. Going to try to keep to my schedule more because I really do think it will help. So when I stayed up just a little late last night to help Hubs get ready for work, I totally screwed up any chance of getting up by 4am, and 5 and 5:30 and 6 and 6:30 all passed on my clock as well as I woke up, pushed snooze, and went back to sleep. So by 8am my body was FINALLY able to get up feeling rested. I also took the opportunity to get my car legal again (I just needed to get an inspection sticker, but since I leave town at 5am and don't get home until around 7pm, there hasn't been much time to fit it in).
No worries, I'll work out after work today. I'm really looking forward to it because today starts the Muscle Building stage of the program! AND...today is Legs day part 1!! WOOT! (I'm so excited to have 2 legs days! *lol*)
I've decided I will NOT be waiting until Week 7 to take my calories into account and instead will be attempting to tweak those this week. I may calorie cycle a bit like suggested because, if that would work, well, that's what my body and mind wants to do anyway. I can eat nearly 100% perfect during the week while I'm at work and such, but once the weekend hits, plans change, we're away from the house, things come up, and I have to make tweaks...and it gets super hard to eat even at 80% on plan.
Of course, I'm also terrified of this "plan" but it seemed to work last week in controlling what was happening, so if I can get my Monday - Thursday calories up just a bit, and then watch what KINDS of foods I'm eating on the weekends, but allow more calories...well, it just might be the switch my body needs. My body seems to have become too smart for dieting and it's pissing me off! Time to trick it into doing what needs to be done.
I discussed this idea of "starvation mode" with the Hubs this weekend (again) and he still doesn't believe it. *shrug* Have to say this is the first time I've ever seen a hint of it. Usually I get off plan and then things go wonky with the scale and I just blame my slip-ups. But this time I stuck to it and my body did the work of showing me what all these "pros" could be talking about when it comes to "starvation mode" or, as I like to call it, "famine mode"...I always think of it this way - there were times of feast and times of famine, and the body had to react accordingly to ensure optimal nutrition and aid in the chance of survival. But in today's culture...well, there's not really such a thing as "famine" because we've got food so readily available everywhere. Hardly anyone is ever in chance of starving in our country...even the homeless can get a full supply of "trash" from the various restaurants and fast food joints around...though none of us like to think about it. After going over the theory again, Hubs has decided that Hyperthyroidism is the beginning of the evolution of our species as those who have it are more able to regulate the overabundance of food and calories we have in today's society. *lol*
So, the plan moving forward is to simply move forward. I love the workouts, so I don't see myself changing that anytime soon. This week will be a challenge as there will be an extra day thrown in (Fridays), so I'll either have to tweak my workouts to do in my MIL's garage or I'll have to drive down to the city to my gym. Two more weeks without cardio too, which is good because my foot is feeling better each and every day. It still gives me problems now and again, but, well, it's better at least. I did have a moment of insanity on Saturday as I tried to buy Easter supplies without the 10-year-old noticing me. So I ran from the store to the car (which we'd parked really far away) to hide the stuff I'd bought and then back to the store so he wouldn't notice I was gone....in flip-flops. Ah...the things we do for those we love. ;)
As for the nutrition. I'll either be calorie cycling as explained above, or I'll be trying to stick as close to 2150 calories as possible each day. (Honestly, it's just really difficult to eat 2150+ (the plus for days I exercise and eat those calories back) each and every day when you're eating this healthy. I mean, you can only stuff down so much salad and it still barely makes a calorie dent. It probably means I'll be adding back in things like my homemade peanut butter and allowing myself to cook in a tiny bit more olive oil and then adding in whatever protein and carbs I can muster to even things out percentage wise.)
Isn't this insane? I feel insane.
Weight loss is supposed to be as simple as eat less, exercise more - right?!
Wrong! Oh, the lies they've fed us. Not all of us can simply eat less, exercise more.
Granted, that worked for the first 160 pounds, so if you've only got that much to lose, go for it and you should be just fine!
As for me? I've got at least another 110-130 pounds to go and now's where I'm hitting the bump in the road. As I see it, I have two choices - do what I did last time and simply give up, gain some weight, come back to it a year or so later and get another 80 pounds off pretty quick (maybe) OR keep tweaking until I find my body's perfect burn rate. For some it's eating your BMR every single day (and eating back exercise calories when you burn them) - although this has always seemed to me a great way to MAINTAIN, so I don't quite get it. For others, it's eating your maintenance calories for your goal weight (another possible method I may try) plus 200 calories. For others it's carb cycling, calorie cycling, eating basically nothing when combined with massive amounts of exercise, continuing to eat more...who knows. My magic equation has to be out there somewhere, though, right!? I mean, as many times as we tell ourselves the lie, I wasn't MEANT to be fat. I just gotta break through my body's barriers and find what works to keep it a happy fat burning machine.
(On a side note - I've been considering going on a skin removal consult to see how far I have to go before we can consider this type of surgery. Unless some serious body shrinking happens to some major skin pockets soon, I'm going to not like my body for a VERY long time and I'll never see the muscles I've built. But if a doc says I'm not there yet, then I'll know I probably can get there with more work. I'm just confused...and I need to see what my insurance will cover too. *shrug*)
Thursday, April 05, 2012
Yep, he's at it again. No clue where I'm really at this morning, but the scale at the gym still has me moving in the right direction, so I'm going to take heart in that.
Last night I headed straight to the gym after work. And, boy, did I need that! Best form of therapy in the world, I promise! It was leg night, my favorite, and I was really looking forward to starting out on my favorite machine - the leg press. But some dude was totally hogging the thing and I walked around the track twice before giving up and moving on to my leg extensions first. As soon as I saw him hop off, though, I headed right over...and was met by some dude who had also been watching and waiting for the guy to leave (apparently he'd been on the thing for 15 minutes! Who the hell needs 15 minutes on the leg press?) so he asked if he could just work in with me. No problem, I told him. I glared at the 4 45lb ring-a-dings on each side of the leg press, was suddenly unable to do math, and figured what the hell, sat down, and struggled through my 12 reps. *lmao* A little too much weight if we're working at 60% there! But I'd say it's about 80% for me. I know I max out right now around 515 on the thing, so I'm guessing 425 (I was finally able to pull out my calculator on my phone) wasn't so bad. (FYI - the machine's plate itself weighs 65 lbs so 65 + 180 + 180 = 425) I did them just fine, thank you very much, other than the initial surprise at the weight.
I hop off after my 12 and my muscly friend says, "I'm going to have to take some off...I'm in recovery." I wanted to *proud* smile, but I didn't. I mean, I'm in "recovery" from an injury too. I didn't say anything, though. I did a polite, "Okay!" and helped him remove 2 45s from each side. And then when it was my turn, I put just one on each side (back at 335, where I lifted last week) instead of two. Still, each time I got off, we had to remove weight for him, and then I'd have to put it back on when it was my turn (though he helped so we each took one side each time, which was nice). Until after my third and final set. I go to remove the weight again and the guy puts a hand out and says, "Leave it on." I walked away smiling. Maybe I encouraged him, or maybe it was a part of his initial plan, but either way, it felt good to know that my fat legs were stronger than his fit, muscly ones! (I keep telling people that I must have some AMAZING muscles under all this fat, they just can't see it!)
Later, on the seated calf raise machine (I'm going to have to up my weight on this one next time...the standing calf raise is a serious challenge, but the seated one? Not so much.) I overhear this guy talking to one of his workout buddies. "I bet I know why you can't put on weight...my friend had this condition...it's hyper something...I can't remember..." I couldn't help myself...they were right next to me on my leg press machine (yes, it's mine, I just let everyone borrow it ;) ), "You mean hyperthyroidism?" "Yea!" he says and smiles. The two guys with him turn and look too. I tried a weak smile and joked, "I often WISH I had that" and start to walk away. But one of the dude smiles and says, "ME TOO! All I'm trying to do is lose 20 pounds and I can't lose a damn thing!" I laughed, "You and me both! And I've got plenty to lose so I have no clue why it doesn't want to get gone." He said something else, but I didn't hear it. I was still trying to work my set on the calf raise machine and his buddies were done paying attention...but I'm pretty sure I saw them watching me later that night. I don't know what was going through their heads...maybe that they didn't ask me to answer any questions and I should keep my nose out of it...but I was smiling to myself. It's the first time in my new gym that I've felt brave enough to strike up a conversation with someone. I miss that at my old gym. I didn't even know hardly anyone's name there, but we'd joke back and forth and nod and smile when we passed because we "knew" each other as that other person always at the gym, dedicated and driven. I want that here too. I see so many of them in groups or with partners working out and I wish I had that...sometimes (other times I think how great it is to not be ruled on how long my rest period is by how fast the other person finishes their set).
Last night's workout:
--- LEGS ---
Leg Extensions (1 set @ 50, 1 @ 60, 1 @ 70)
Leg Press (1 set @ 425, 2 sets @ 335)
Wide-Stance Barbell Squat (3 sets with 45lb bar)
Seated Leg Curl (1 set @ 60, 2 @ 70)
Standing Calf Raises (3 sets @ 70)
Seated Calf Raises (2 sets @ 55, 1 @ 65)
(all sets are 12 reps each)
Avg HR: 112
Max HR: 148
Cal Burned: 300
Fat Cal: 45%
This morning I (strangely) had no problems getting up the first time my alarm went off at 4:00 am. Usually I sleep a few minutes beyond when it starts before I finally hear and recognize what the sound is, but today was up-and-at-em like never before. I thought about going back to bed and napping a bit (I had a tiny bit of extra time now!), but I felt so good, and I didn't want to lose that with a little nap (which always happens). So I got up, made breakfast, and watched Scully and Mulder get foiled again by the government. *lol* (I didn't know BBC had X-Files on at 4am! *big grin*) It was a calm morning and I woke up my kids slowly so they wouldn't feel jolted and might have a calm morning as well. I took the dog out without a fuss even though it was cold. I was right within myself. Even with the scale being a bastage, I was alright within myself. Crazy considering the week I've had. Maybe because waking up this morning meant it was almost over...or maybe because it was my baby boy's 10th birthday. I kissed him and wished him happy birthday on my way out and then went to have an amazing workout at the gym....after stopping at McDonald's, of course.
HA! I just got some coffee. I didn't feel like fooling with it this morning, so I drove-thru to get me some hot joe. ;)
--- SHOULDERS & ABS ---
Seated Dumbbell Press (1 set @ 15, 2 @ 20)
Dumbell Straight Arm Delt Raise (1 set @ 10, 2 @ 15)
Side Lat Raises (1 set @ 8, 2 @ 10)
Seated Bent-Over Rear Delt Raise (1 set @ 10, 2 @ 15)
Exercise Ball Crunches (3 sets)
Bicycle Crunches (3 sets)
(all sets 12 reps each)
Avg HR: 114
Max HR: 158
Cal Burned: 279
Fat Cal: 42%
I've started counting my cool down/stretching as part of the workout, mostly because I basically do a yoga routine to cool down and stretch. Some of it actually gets my heart pumping and I want to count it because I did it. Nobody can take that away from me. I have noticed my flexibility increasing again, so that's been great as well. Also noticing that I've had to go up on a lot of my shoulder exercises this week. My shoulders tend to seem "weak" but they always seem to bounce back fast and I think I'll be surprising myself soon with what they can do. (If I stand just right and hold my arm out, I can actually see that DIP in the top of my shoulder...do you know what I mean? I've always hated that dip...but now I love it, because I've only ever really seen it on REALLY fit women while they're doing something like lat raises.)
Food is all planned for the day, even factoring in the pizza tonight. I actually have a low calorie day scheduled, so even if I go off my rocker and consume an extra piece of pizza or a cinnamon stick or something, I should be just fine (though I have no plans too...remember, I'm THAT close to the biggest milestone of the past 10 years or more). If I eat everything as planned, this is how my day will pan out --
Calories consumed: 1747
Calories Burned: 279
Net Calories: 1468
It's still too low, and I know it. But I refuse to let go of the plan just yet. I have some days that are closer to my ranges, even eating on plan, and maybe I'll start incorporating more of those to up the caloric intake a bit (whole wheat pasta is on plan but OMG the calories!!). But not right now. I'm still holding my breath. Still trying to be loyal to the plan. Still trying to see if JE might, maybe, know what the hell she's doing here.
Of course, the scale needs a good kick in the teeth to recognize what's happening...but that's nothing new. *sigh* Not dwelling. Moving forward. Pushing through. Knowing it has to go eventually. HAS. TO.
For now I can say that I've successfully completed all of the first two weeks of exercise in the LiveFit program and have stayed on task about 96% of the time. (When I can count my "cheats" on one hand and know that I was still in calorie range when I had them, I call that a good day!) Looking forward to boosting into "muscle building" stage next week! (The first two weeks are "muscle endurance" phase...now on to building them muscles and burning a ton more fat! Might have to watch my late starts in the morning...not sure how much more time I'll need for the new routines.)
Wednesday, April 04, 2012
So I'm 10 days in and this morning I got a very good number on the scale. So good, in fact, that I'm afraid of it being a false reading. So instead of announcing it, I'm holding my breath. Let's see what pans out on Sunday at official weigh-in. If I can just hold steady here I will be a very happy woman and have very happy news to report. But all I keep saying to myself, instead of "great job!" is "don't friggin' blow it now!"
Last night, I almost did. I had a pretty rotten awful day yesterday. I cried to Hubs on the phone at one point. I took my last break outside, slumped against the side of the building, staring out into the pretty day and raging at everyone and everything. Being told over and over again that you're not doing good enough, that you don't understand when you do, and feeling like no one understands you -- and feeling that in just about every aspect of your life...well, it kinda eats away at your soul. I'd like to say I need a break, but there's no break from life, besides, I couldn't afford a break anyhow. Hubs asked me to just leave early from work because I was beyond stressed out...but I couldn't. I have to be here. I have to handle it. Like I said before, stop telling me how "hard" it's going to be, because that doesn't make it any easier and it doesn't mean it doesn't have to be done. But I can say that if something doesn't break soon, I might.
So when I got home and Hubs came out to greet me (he had last night off) and took my bags from me and asked if I wanted to just go out to dinner and relax for the night. I gave in. I told him I wasn't hungry (I ate a cup and a half of my chili and a bunch of steamed cauliflower and broccoli and then HAD to stop because I was just SO full!) but that I did want to go out. I didn't want to sit at home and brood over all the things I had no control over but seemed to have complete control over me. So we loaded up the car and went to one of the local Mexican restaurants. I knew my calories were low for the day, so if I was a tiny bit hungry and it was 8pm, I'd just have a few chips or something (although completely "off plan" as carbs are a no-no that late). I ended up eating a couple chips, and then forcing myself to stop. When I felt I wanted a couple more, I had them, and then forced myself to stop. Ethan offered me a bit of what was left of his bean and cheese nachos after he got full, so I asked myself if I was actually hungry or just wanted them. I was a bit hungry. I ate them. I stopped when I was full. Overall, not bad damage to the day.
Calories Consumed: 1890
Calories Burned: 340
Net Calories: 1550
I can live with that just fine.
Of course the whole time I was eating I kept telling myself how many pounds I was going to gain from it. "Well, here's another 3 pounds." Hubs jumped on the bandwagon (by now my weight fluctuations over stupid stuff has become family fodder for our steady ream of jokes) "Nope, four." And "Well, there's another 20 pounds." Hubs: "21!"
Luckily I managed a loss this morning. But, again, holding my breath. First of all, I've always heard it takes 2 days for the scale to really register something like that. I'm hoping that the boost in sodium won't matter as much since I managed to down something like 16 glasses of water yesterday (I drank water like it was my JOB). But...we shall see. Either the ball will drop on me tomorrow or Friday, or I'll somehow manage to have escaped the wrath of my unforgiving body.
To top it all off, there was absolutely NO getting out of bed at 4am this morning. None. I needed the extra sleep, of that I was sure. It wasn't the DOMS that kept me there, or the unwillingness to come, once again, to my soul-sucking job, but the actual NEED for sleep. So I forgave myself. I slept in and vowed that I'd hit the gym after work. At least I have something other than "my bed" to look forward to...maybe that will help get me through another day of this nonsense. Plus, it will be nice to not have to check the clock all night to make sure I'm not going over my time. No time limit tonight. Just me and my scheduled routine.
One other final thought. My mind has already begun rebelling against the program. Which is stupid because it's working. Not the nutritional part, of course. Hubs asked me the other day if it gets boring to eat basically the same thing every day, but I explained to him that this plan allows me the freedom to make changes and make new meals and no two days ever HAVE to be exactly the same. Sure, I end up eating a lot of the same things throughout the week, but that's basically because of my batch cooking on the weekends. It leaves me with a few choices to get me through the crazy week, but not enough to eat something different every single day. But I don't seem to mind, actually.
The way I've been mentally rebelling, though, has been in the gym. My mind wants to push harder, do more, get a little extra in. It's the same thought patterns that got me into this mess to begin with. Sometimes, my friends, more is not always better. This program is designed for a specific purpose, and if I deviate because I think I'm somehow more bad@ss than Jamie Eason herself, I may end up on the burned out train or injured again. That would be stupid for me to do. So I've been holding myself back, and reminding myself that it will be amped up next week, so I need to just be patient. I've got just the right amount of DOMS going on right now. Less than last week, but enough to let me know I worked on building good muscle and not enough to keep me out of the gym or unable to do simple everyday tasks.
It's still hard though. I want to be up there with the rest of you - running 5ks, 10ks, HMs - lifting until it hurts - putting in 1000-3000 fitness minutes a month. But I know in my head and my heart that that kind of thinking is not meant for me right now. I've tried that. It got me nowhere. Now it's time to try this. Time to try and take it easy on my body. To break a few of my own rules and forge ahead. If it ain't broken, there ain't no need to go fixin' it.
Hold your breath.
Remember that it IS working.
And just keep going as planned.
Confession: It's a little hard for the wanna-be rockstar in me to let everyone else shine while I fade into the background just trying to get by, get through, and move on. I feel so dull and unshiny right now. I feel so non-rockstar. I feel like a slacker. I (stupidly) feel that I'm not doing enough (but I am, because it's paying off). Time to shut off my inner warrior for a bit. Try to shut down my need to be a part of the crowd. I'm sure that some of this feeling of "not belonging" is also the reason for my half-breakdown yesterday, but I can't just ignore what I know to be true. That didn't work. This is. Stay on the path...even if you have to walk it alone. Just like I tell myself, "You can have that later" when it comes to food cravings, I have to keep deferring my own need to "shine" and "amaze" as well. I'll get to have that later. For now, I need to be dull so I can be thin(ner) and heal. I have to tell myself that sometimes it's okay to be boring, because at least it doesn't mean you're being a colossal failure.
Legs and Calves workout tonight. My FAVORITE of all the workouts! Maybe it will lift my spirit.
Tuesday, April 03, 2012
Here we are halfway through week 2's workouts and I'm feeling mighty fine!
Yesterday's workout had to be delayed due to my health screening yesterday (for the record, my BP was a healthy 134/84...or 124/84. Crap, it was good, I remember that much! *lol*). I had to fast from 8pm to 8am and knew it wouldn't be smart to 1) lift on an empty stomach and 2) not eat after lifting. Instead I opted for a little extra sleep, which did me good. After my health screening (seriously, that hurt!! *pouts*) I had to hurry up and choke down some cereal (that I brought to work with me *lol*) and had to head off to a seminar an hour away with my supervisor. I was told the seminar would last until 5pm..which meant they would either release for lunch or provide it. I took some food, just in case, but the food provided was actually quite healthy.
Baked chicken (I removed the skin, of course)
About 1/2 cup mashed potatoes with some gravy
Rolls (Okay, they were really good and I actually had two ...could've done better but OMG they were SOOOO good!)
And then...Lemon Meringue pie. *face/palm*
I ate the carrots first. Then the chicken and taters and, yes, the gravy too. I fit in two rolls (oops!) and then stared a long time at that pie. I wanted it! I REALLY wanted it. I tried to push it away but it just kept sitting there, staring at me. *sigh* I took one bite, then two, and then a TINY third taste (not even a bite) and realized I was SO done. Too much sugar! I felt my head spin and pushed the thing aside and didn't touch it again. Lesson learned!
By the time I got back to the office I realized I was a little off my eating schedule, but figured I'd just hop back on at 5pm, my regularly scheduled dinner time. I pulled out the yummy grilled chicken over whole wheat penne pasta with roasted tomato basil pesto I had prepped the night before and enjoyed every single bite with the feeling that I was already back on track. I could've called the whole day a wash just because of the bumps in the road, but I didn't, I hopped right back on to my train at the next regularly scheduled stop.
After work, I was more than ready to hit the gym! People are annoying lately and I really wanted to punch something and sweat and get out all my aggression.
Wide Pushups - 3 sets, 12 reps
Flat Bench Dumbbell Press - 3 sets, 12 reps, 15 lbs
Flat Bench Dumbbell Flyes - 1 set, 12 reps, 15 lbs and 2 sets, 12 reps, 20 lbs
Narrow Pushups - 3 sets, 12 reps
Tricep Extensions - 2 sets, 12 reps, 20 lbs and 1 set, 12 reps, 25 lbs
Rope Pushdowns - 1 set, 12 reps, 45 lbs and 2 sets, 12 reps, 55 lbs
Avg HR: 113
Max HR: 197
Cal burned: 225
Fat Cal: 43%
I've already had to increase a few. Those rope pushdowns felt so easy at 45 lbs this time! I remember struggling the week before at 20 lbs. WTF? Maybe it was a different machine. *shrug* The pushups were almost too easy. I have a feeling I'm going to be back to regular pushups very soon (though maybe not AS soon with the narrow ones! OW!).
My one funny experience. I go up to this girl standing in front of the rope pulldown. There wasn't another rope I could find (found one later, oops!) so I asked her, in lifting fashion, if I could "work in"...she seemed shocked I would ask. The guy next to her immediately said yes and nearly pushed her aside, but she said, "But I still have one more set!" *snort* Hopefully he explained to her how "working in" works. I guess maybe they aren't used to that at this gym because there are so many duplicate machines I'm barely ever bumping into anyone!
Had my protein shake and banana on the way home and then cooked my omelet when I got home.
Not bad considering I splurged on those rolls and everything was a bit out of whack! This could've easily turned into a 3k day.
Today I got started early again. My 41 minute workout was completed by 7am and I had a tiny bit of extra breathing time this AM (getting to like that a bit). I've got my food packed and ready (right now I'm eating yogurt with blueberries and raspberries NOM!). Should be a good day.
Workout this AM:
Wide Grip Lat Pulldown - 1 set, 12 reps, 50 lbs and 2 sets, 12 reps, 55 lbs
Bent-Over Dumbbell Rows - 1 set, 12 reps, 20 lbs and 2 sets, 12 reps, 25 lbs
Seated Cable Row - 1 set, 12 reps, 60 lbs and 2 sets, 12 reps, 65 lbs
Underhand Cable Pulldown - 3 sets, 12 reps, 55 lbs
Alternating Dumbbell Curls - 3 sets, 12 reps, 15 lbs
One-Arm Dumbbell Preacher Curls - 3 sets, 12 reps, 20 lbs
Standing Biceps Cable Curl - 3 sets, 12 reps, 30 lbs
Feeling that one already!
Avg HR: 120
Max HR: 161
Cal burned: 340
Fat cal: 39%
Pushed a little harder today, obviously. Still...a good burn.
I've got my calories/meals all worked out today.
Breakfast - Eggs-N-Oats as usual ;)
Post-Workout - Protein Shake and very small banana
Snack 1 - Carbmaster Vanilla Yogurt with blueberries and raspberries
Lunch - Chicken Zucchini Burger on Sandwich Thin w/mustard and huge salad
Snack 2 - 1/2 cup cottage cheese and jello mix w/ 2 Pumpkin Protein Bars
Dinner - 1c chili with steamed broccoli and cauliflower
Snack 3 - 6 egg white omelet with mushrooms and a bit of cheese
Now, I'm a bit worried because that IS kinda low. Maybe I'll add an extra cup of chili to dinner, just to make sure I'm getting enough protein and such. *shrug* Didn't expect such a high calorie burn today.
There shouldn't be too many surprises tomorrow, I don't think. I do have to go down to the DMV (joy! *sarcasm*) but otherwise everything should stay on plan. Thursday, of course, will be a little bumpy because of my son's birthday and his request for pizza. Thinking NATF was right and I'll maybe just get me my own personal pan pizza and know it's all mine and I can enjoy every bite, but when it's gone it's gone.
I can't let this derail me. I went to bed last night chanting "298, 298, 298"...any clue where my mind is lately? Today I got 301.8. Seems the scale is going to make me fight for it. He wants to make sure I'm super serious about it this time. I have to want it more than I want anything. More than I want birthday cake or pizza or ANYTHING else. I have to want it more than I want to breathe right now...and, honestly, I do! I NEED that 2. I crave it. Maybe there's something wrong with me that I've tied so much of my self-worth right now up with that number, but...it just seemed like something that would never happen and now it's RIGHT THERE and ME WANTS IT!!!!!! ;)
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