Day 2: Doin' Good

Monday, January 02, 2012

Day 1 Recap:
Cassoulet for dinner.
Stayed around 1900 calories.
Drank at least 8 glasses of water.
Took my supplements.
Stretched before going to sleep.

So far so good. :)

Today's day 2. Plans/goals for the day:
* Do 1.5 miles. The gym is closed for the day so I'll be doing it outside in the snow! *lol*
* Do 30 Day Shred. I did this on NYE and had DOMS last night from it. Have to say, felt good to be sore for the right reasons again (finally!).
* Take supplements.
* Drink Water.
* Organize all my coupons again. Time to get back on track with my couponing and save us a bunch of money (haven't been able to see the coupons + Hubs' discount yet, but the last time I went shopping I didn't use one coupon (except a couple digital ones) and with his discount and mark-downs I still saved 25%! Can't wait to see what kind of savings I can accomplish this year! (Time to regrow my stock pile too!)
* Put away decorations (I took them down but now they need to go back in the garage.)
* Make tacos for dinner.
* Make the meatballs for tomorrow's dinner and freeze them. (recipe calls for them to be frozen for at least an hour before plopping them in the crockpot) I may also prep the chicken for Wednesday's meal, but if I don't get to that, I'll just do it tomorrow night or Wednesday before work.

Today is my high calorie day so I was thinking of taking my boys out to eat somewhere. Maybe Chinese because it's a calorie-killer any other day. I still go there every once in a while, so if I can manage to plan my trips (rarely) on my HCD, maybe I won't feel so awful about it. I've been working on Asian recipes a lot this past year, trying to make the Chinese place unnecessary, but I haven't found suitable subs for my sesame chicken and chicken and broccoli and moo shu chicken yet. That's my goal for this year. I hope to eventually make it so that I can eat my favorites whenever I want because I have homemade versions that are just as good as the original!

My driving force this week: This is my birthday week! I want to give myself the present of a first successful week that I actually earned in a LONG time.

My only gripe so far this year is that I have yet to get my first kiss of the New Year. Hubs explained yesterday that he was getting a scratchy throat and a bunch of the guys at work are sick so, in an effort to not get ME sick, he's holding off until he feels better. *sigh* I guess I can wait, since I know I've got him for life. ;)


How was your NYE and NY day?

I spent NYE grocery shopping. I picked up Mr. Popper's Penguins for the boys and I to watch. Then I came home, put groceries away, dropped the boys off at my in laws, then came home, took down the tree and decorations, did 30 Day Shred, then went to pick up the boys and played Apples to Apples with the in laws before heading home around 11pm to wake Hubs up for work. Boys and I stayed up to say "Happy New Years!" and then we went to bed.

Yesterday I spent much of the day playing Fable III. *lol* I am THIS close to finishing the game (probably will today) so I can start Skyrim with the rest of the family (Hubs is playing it now). I'm strange. I refuse to start a new game until I finish the old one, especially since it has been a LONG time since I've played, let alone finished, a game. I think the last game I finished was Luigi's Mansion and that was back when the GameCube was the system to have. It has been a fresh distraction, but if it thwarts my efforts in any way, I have no problem giving it up again. :) The kids helped with the Cassoulet last night, so it was fun cooking with them.

Hope you all had a great New Year! Off to start my day.

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A Fresh Start and Memories (with progress pics!)

Sunday, January 01, 2012

Yes, it's January 1st and I am totally considering this another fresh start. I'm calling it "Phase III" of this journey. This morning I woke up to take measurements and pictures. I have to say, I wasn't exactly pleased when I saw the pictures...and then I did some digging for the "before" pics I took in May 2010. (Note: I started "Phase II" in April 2010 at 416.2, but these were taken in May at 403 pounds. Still, the progress is more than notable.)

Official Weight for January 1st: 306.4

Official measurements:
Neck - 14.5
Upper Arm - 14
Bust - 46.5
Under Breasts - 42
Waist - 45
Hips - 55
Thigh - 24.5
Calf - 20.25

I'm at about a size 24 pant right now and a size XL shirt.

And now...for the pics...










Now on to Phase III!

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Next Week's Menu

Saturday, December 31, 2011

FOOD MENU

Sunday - Cassoulet
Monday - Slow Cooker Pot Roast
Tuesday - Slow Cooker Swedish Meatballs
Wednesday - Slow Cooker Brown Sugar Chicken over Rice
Thursday - "Unstuffed" Cabbage Rolls
Friday - Slow Cooker Chicken Pot Pie
Saturday - Fried Tofu and either Fried Rice or Pad Thai

All leading up to my birthday on Sunday. Have to decide whether to order my cake or make it... And next Sunday we'll be going out to eat somewhere. Right now I'm thinking "Big Fat Cheeseburger with Fries" but I'm still not 100% sure.


FITNESS MENU

Sunday - OFF (STRETCH!)
Monday - 1.5 miles & 30 Day Shred
Tuesday - ZumbaLite & ST
Wednesday - OFF (STRETCH!)
Thursday - ZumbaLite
Friday - Nike Training Camp (NTC)
Saturday - End of Year 30 5k


GOAL MENU

* Drink at least 8-10 glasses of water every day.
* Buy supplies and start first craft challenge.
* Pack lunch every single day, save one (have plans to go out with a friend next week).
* Take my supplements every day.

We may go out on Monday for lunch or something. If so, my goal is keep health in mind when I'm ordering. It's a HCD, but that doesn't mean I have to go OTT (over the top).


It's the last day of 2011. What are you doing to end 2011 right?

I'm going to attempt 30DS so I can get some idea of whether it's going to hurt or not. I hopped on the elliptical last night to give that a go. Did 20 minutes with little to no problems. I did discover that the higher the crossramp, the better it is on my back and hips. Not really sure why. Upped the resistance too so it would be a good, but tough, workout. Glad to know that this will be a great back-up for me on Zumba days.

Plans for today are as follows:
* Play some Fable III. *big grin*
* Take down Christmas decorations and store for next year.
* Go grocery shopping for the week.
* Do 30 Day Shred.
* Drink 8 glasses of water, at least.
* Take my supplements with lunch (because I forgot with breakfast...OOPS!)
* Make tacos tonight.
* Drop by the video store (if open) for movies for tonight.

Plans for tomorrow include:
* Official weigh-in.
* Official measurements for start of 2012.
* Official "Before again" pictures for start of 2012.
* Maybe a fitness test too - push-ups, crunches, lunges, squats and jumping jacks.

Hope everyone has a safe, happy and healthy NYE and a wonderful start to 2012!! (I could be totally annoying and say, "See you next year!" ...but I won't (except I just did..oops!) ;) )

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Thinking Ahead (aka Planning Stage)

Friday, December 30, 2011

A break from the normal "this sucks" blog. *lol*

So I've spent the majority of my time planning lately. I'll be the first to tell you that New Years Resolutions, in their traditional sense, do NOT work. However... (I hate starting sentences with "however") I think planning is extremely important to set yourself up for success. Even if it weren't the first of the year coming up, I'd still be planning and setting myself up for the next month because, yes, I'll admit, I think this month was a total wash. I didn't get much accomplished as far as my weight loss/fitness goals were concerned, and it had little to do with the holidays and more to do with what I just happen to be going through right now. So January 1st or November 1st, I'd be sitting here doing the same thing - planning for a positive, healthy, and successful new month.

That being said, there is a certain air of "fresh start/clean slate" on the upcoming month just because it is a new year (and will mean another birthday in just over a week). So, go on and make those NY Resolutions, I'd say - just make them reasonably. And don't waste today or tomorrow. Yes, I know, you'll "get started" on the first, and if you really want to stick to that, that's fine. But use the next 2 days to set yourself up better. Log everything you eat - yes, even the crap. Log and journal and plan, plan, plan - because it will all help you make a better start out of the upcoming month/year. I haven't had "successful" days this past week, at least not in my regular terms of speaking about the whole "healthy lifestyle" thing. I've eaten crap, and too much of it. But I've logged it all and I've started to get my arse back in gear with cooking every day and I'm taking small walks on all of my breaks at work. Each time I log something, take a walk, plan a meal, cook something new, I'm setting myself up for my "fresh start" on Sunday.

What have I learned?

Well, last night I had the first "Okay, that is ENOUGH!" moment when it came to eating the crap. It's been a LONG time since I've gotten to this point. I felt the effects. And I hated that even more than my "loss of willpower" over the candy floating around my house. Know what I'll be doing tomorrow? CLEAN HOUSE, baby! This stuff is finding it's way out of my life for now because I know I'm having a crap time controlling myself around it. (Just think what would have happened if I had "waited" until January 1st...I would've set myself up for failure right there.)

I've also caught the cooking bug again. (Thank goodness!) I've been making crockpot meals, recipes I've found online or ones I've simply "made up" (a skill I learned this year and really does work wonders). I'm starting to feel that pride again in cooking something I know that I made - something in which I know every single ingredient, down to the last dash of salt. This is what "eating clean" is to me. Eating meals that I've cooked, with simple and controlled ingredients. (We can argue how this isn't exactly what they mean by "clean eating" but what does it matter if it works for me?) I'm starting to use recipes and adapt them to cut down on the calories or fat, increase the amount of veggies in them, and otherwise make them less greasy, more healthy, more filling, and less "guilt-ridden." (I'll let you know when I finally find the holy grail - a great tasting, healthy version of Mac-N-Cheese.)

I'm back to drinking my 8 minimum cups of water a day and have been taking my supplements. All these little things add up. I'm also getting my body used to walks again. Sucks that I have to resort back to this, but I know in my heart that people have lost ALL their weight doing nothing but walking. Hopefully one day I'll be able to go back to my KickArse AmpedUp Workouts, but until then, I will walk and adapt every other exercise to make it work with what I've got. "Do what you do."

I've also taken this time to re-evaluate what 2011 meant to me and have come to feel pretty proud of what I've accomplished. I no longer say, "I ONLY lost 20 pounds." I now say, "I lost 20 pounds this year!" Because I went thorugh a lot of crap, and in the past I know that I would have simply given in and given up and would have to say that I gained those 20 pounds instead of losing them. I like this route better. And I learned a crapton about myself too, which will help me mentally adapt to the next phase of this journey. (Because I now see my journey in parts or phases, and 2011 was part of the in-between phase I usually have. Last time that "phase" lasted 5 years and I gained 50 pounds over those 5 years. This time I hope to look back and remember that it only lasted 1 year and I LOST 20 pounds.)

So, yes, I've been planning. And eagerly awaiting the new year to "unveil" my plan to everyone. *lol* This morning I thought, "How friggin' stupid is that?" THAT is something that doesn't require waiting to do...as starting your healthy lifestyle doesn't require a set date, neither does unveiling my plan - jotting it down, proclaiming it to the "world" so I'm held accountable. So, here it is...in all it's glory. And please keep in mind that I know fully well in my mind that this plan probably will change from time to time, depending on my back/hip issues...so I've given myself back up plans as well.


JANUARY 2012 WORKOUT SCHEDULE

1/1 - off
1/2 - 1.5 miles & 30 Day Shred
1/3 - ZumbaLite & ST
1/4 - off
1/5 - ZumbaLite
1/6 - NTC (adapted as needed)
1/7 - 3 miles
1/8 - MY BIRTHDAY!! (off)
1/9 - 2 miles & 30DS
1/10 - ZumbaLite & ST
1/11 - off
1/12 - ZumbaLite
1/13 - NTC
1/14 - 3 miles
1/15 - off
1/16 - 2 miles & 30DS
1/17 - ZumbaLite & ST
1/18 - off
1/19 - ZumbaLite
1/20 - Elliptical & 30DS
1/21 - 4 miles
1/22 - off
1/23 - 2.5 miles & 30DS
1/24 - ZumbaLite & ST
1/25 - off
1/26 - ZumbaLite
1/27 - NTC
1/28 - 4 miles
1/29 - off
1/30 - 2.5 miles & 30DS
1/31 - ZumbaLite & ST

* This schedule allows for 2-3 days of ST per week, plus 5 days of some sort of cardio. I've reclaimed "Zumba" as ZumbaLite to remind me to keep it light...but if Zumba starts messing with me again, I'll have to sub it out for the elliptical machine, and I have no problem with that because they both burn a lot of calories. I'm also going to try 30DS, but I don't think I can do it every single day right now. I may not even be able to finish level one right now, but dangit I vow to at least attempt to do as much as I can of it every single day I've got it scheduled.

* Also, you'll notice I've simply put a mileage number for my old "run" days. If I get back to feeling like I can run (and get the go ahead from the doc) I will try to run part of these. If not, I'll walk it. And on those long days, I'll do what I can - take a break - and then finish my mileage later. Even if that means a LOT of short 15 minute walks (15 minutes seems to be my breaking point right now), that's what it means - that's why I scheduled them on Saturdays!



JANUARY 2012 FOOD GOALS

Allowed High Calorie Days

* Jan 2nd - I'll be home from work with the boys and am thinking this might be our one "eat out" day that week

* Jan 8th - My birthday! We will certainly be eating out that day (hopefully) and I have my eye on a vegan chocolate cake with vegan "buttercream" frosting - not because of dietary concerns, but because the best cake/cupcakes I've eaten in my life have been vegan. *shrug* Maybe my body just likes them more...

* Jan 15th & 22nd - Both Sundays, which I think will be my regular HCD, unless there's a special event or something

- Again, this whole "high calorie days" is a tester type thing. When I started losing weight in 2004, I used to think it a horrible idea to weigh in more than once a week. But last year I started weighing in every day and I noticed it takes the sting out of the numbers for me. I feel somehow better about my progress by "checking in" every day, and starting my morning on the scale reminds me that I have a job to do, that I have a goal I'm reaching toward, so I need to be on the ball each and every day. (Now, I'm not promoting this. This works for me. This could be disasterous for you -- some even say it can lead to eating disorders! -- but I gotta do me.) I'm hoping that this "high calorie day" thing will break me from binges that last a week because I've been trying so hard to be "good" for months and I just can't take it any more. I want to "lessen" that feeling of "all or nothing" and know that if I want a friggin' cupcake, I can have one...and it doesn't mean I have to starve all day to do it. I'll have it on my HCD and then move on. I have no clue if this will work, but it won't hurt to try, right?

Other food goals:
On days not HCD, I need to stick to around 1700-1900 calories. (Haven't found that sweet spot yet, so I'm just going by nutritionist recommendations and what I know about what my body does when I have "successful" weeks.)

Only eat out 1-2 times per week. This includes special occasions and lunches, so no making special "exceptions" for these. If I grab a Subway sub on Tuesday at lunch, then I've used up one of my "eat out" cards.

When eating out, be mindful of what you're ordering! Since I know about cooking now, I know a lot of what types of oils, butters, and sauces pack a calorie punch right in the kisser. So I'm going to be mindful of that and try to order wisely.

Make meals at home. Of course, since we'll be eating out less, that means I'll be cooking at home more. This is why I've been testing out the whole "slow cooker" method of making dinner to see how well that will work into our lives. Right now, it's looking good! I can give myself a "night off" from cooking, while still enjoying a warm home-cooked meal. I think we'll be using our slow cooker 2-4 nights a week in January!

Make healthy lunches for work. This is something I've been working on. I do not enjoy/get filled up on/like the taste, cost, or sodium in those TV dinner type meals. When I eat these, I end up hungry an hour later. No lie. They can say it's got tons of fiber and whatever else, but my body just soaks it up (or maybe just gets rid of it...TMI?) and I'm hungry again. It just NEVER seems like enough. So I need to keep making my own lunch. Something I KNOW will fill me up and keep me going. Of course, this part has always been lacking for me. If I can make enough food the night before, I can usually swing some leftovers. But I live in a house with 3 males - one is 31 and works stocking shelves all night so needs a TON of energy from his food (=eats a LOT), another is 12 (=eats a LOT! *lol*). (The other one, my 9 year old, is still a picky eater and rarely finishes the scaled down portions I give him anyhow, so I can't totally blame this on him...it's just the oldest 2 in the house hogging the food.) This means that, try as I might, sometimes there just AREN'T any leftovers to be had. So I need healthy, quick lunch alternatives other than the fall-back salad and ham sandwich. (Feel free to give ideas!)

Get some healthy snacks going! I'm going to limit myself to 2 healthy snacks at work. Of course, I'm here for 10 hours, so the first snack can be small, but the last one needs to carry me through (especially considering I workout after work). I need to make sure to pack things like my homemade peanut butter and other things that might "stick" to me and give me the fuel I need to round out the day.

Drink at least 8 glasses of water EVERY DAY!

Take my supplements. (Right now I'm taking B-Stress Complex, Potassium, and Glucosamine. Maybe that will give my body the help it needs to REALLY heal. I'm already feeling a little better after just 3 days of it.)


REWARDS FOR JANUARY 2012

Okay, so this month my rewards are based off my exercise, because we've discovered that exercise keeps me motivated. If I find this is making other areas (like eating right) slide because I have that "well, if I just workout..." mentality, we'll switch things up. My rewards are on a sliding scale, trying to get me toward consistency without demanding immediate perfection.

There are 22 workouts scheduled in January 2012.
If I complete....I get.
22/22 - A full makeover - new outfit, haircut and color, mani, pedi.
20/22 - Haircut and new clothes
18/22 - Haircut and a new pair of jeans/pants
16/22 - Haircut and a new shirt
15/22 - Haircut

(I need a friggin' haircut! *lol* For serious. I will be SO mad at myself if I don't make it to the lower level ... *lol* But I have faith in myself that I will. I'm already "shopping" for my new outfit. The only thing scaring me is that pedicure...I've never had one and I have REALLY ticklish feet.)


OTHER GOALS

At least 1 "daytrip" or weekend excursion with the family. I've got my eye on Ohio Caverns for January, but if we can't swing that even a movie and lunch day on a Sunday could work wonders!

Get crafty! I think engaging my creative side helps me too...plus, when you have a hobby you spend time doing something other than thinking about food! *lol* I'm thinking I'll either knit myself a pretty scarf (I LOVE scarves and hats...and I don't know how to knit hats yet...) or I'll get together my recipes into a family recipe book. Other crafty ideas I've had: frame a picture of my own, scrapbook my journey thus far, a new coupon organizing system, paint the living room and do house repairs (even that can be "crafty" for me).

So there it is. The plan for a new month, a new year on the calendar, a new year in my life. I'll be turning 31 and I want to start off the year on the right foot. As for NY resolutions and all that? I've decided I'd like to lose 52 pounds in 2012. That's all I got. That's my goal. One pound a week. That's totally doable...and will put me around the 250 range, which is super close to the gym-set goal for me of 230. Oh, and I'd like to get into some new (smaller sized) clothes for sure! I'm ready to save up and go shopping again! *lol* (I love buying new clothes when I know I might go down a size...makes it more fun to shop and see the progress of my hard work reflected in the mirror!)


So what's your take on NY resolutions? Are you making any? If not, are you planning for next month or just "flying by the seat of your pants" into January?

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Yesterday Went Great Until...

Thursday, December 29, 2011

*sigh*

I did so well yesterday. Woke up in the AM. Had 1/2 a bagel with my homemade peanut butter (which, compared to the other stuff is not only better for me but less calories). I drank my coffee. I was feeling good.

On my first 15 at work, I stood around outside reading for a while before I thought to myself, "I could be walking." So I walked back and forth twice outside in front of my building. It wasn't much, but it felt good to move.

On my lunch break, I did 4 back and forths (or maybe 5?) after eating my 1/2 turkey sandwich (seriously, this thing was big enough to count as a full sandwich) from Hubs. Again, it felt good to move. My back didn't hurt too much, though I was starting to feel it on the last little back/forth.

I repeated the first 2 on my last break. I stayed away from candy all day. I chewed gum. I ate a protein bar for one snack. I felt more in control than I have in a while.

And then I went to the gym...and everything fell apart. First I got annoyed by the pre-jumpers. If you aren't a regular gym-goer you might not understand but all the gyms start to pack in the numbers around New Years as people make those blasted resolutions. It's a tough first couple months for us regular gym-goers because we're just waiting for the fall out so we can get back to our routine, which, believe it or not, does not involve waiting for you to finish your 1 of 4 total workouts for the year on the machine we almost always use on this day at this time. *sigh* I know it will be worse in the next couple weeks, but I always start to notice a little pre-NYE push from those people who don't want to be seen as jumping on the NYE Resolutions bandwagon (but really are). To make it even better (*dripping with sarcasm*) right now they're bouncy chicks at the ripe old age of like 12 (okay, maybe they're 17) in their teeny-tiny shorts and sparkly tanks in full makeup and hair done. *rolls eyes* I'm sorry, but I could never consider the gym the place to meet someone. I know people do but...ugh. I'm there with my battle face on, my headphones in, ready to put my entire attention and effort into my time there and make it count. I'm not flitting around all half-hazard on the treadmill, making sure my boobs look good as I blast through 10 seconds at 6.5 speed, just so the dudes (who, btw, are NOT paying attention) know I can go fast and look hot doing it.

So, yeah, there was a little annoyance at the lack of treadmill space, but I just went with it and figured I'd pound it out on the (stupid) track upstairs. (For the record, we don't have one of those fancy tracks. This thing is tiny...someone once told me it takes 17 laps to equal a mile...which means you're going around and around so much I almost get dizzy. Plus...it isn't level. There are bumps here and there. That track kinda annoys me...probably mostly because, if I'm not going to be on a treadmill, then I want to be outside on the pavement. Sometimes I *hate* that I have to check in at the gym to stay in my insurance program.)

But the real kicker was that, while I was only scheduled to WALK at a somewhat brisk pace (and, in my defense, I was going kinda fast - around a 15-16 min/mi pace...fading the whole time, though) for 20 minutes...and I nearly died. After 5 minutes I was feeling it, but I knew that was from the "resting" (or "slacking off"...however you want to look at it) I did the past couple weeks. After 10 minutes, I was just reminding myself that I was halfway there, but could tell I was slowing down no matter how hard I tried to keep up my pace (all the while cursing because I really, really, really wanted to run). By 15 minutes though, the pain in my back was causing significant problems. I wanted to stop, but I had promised myself 20 minutes, so I limped my way through the last 5 minutes and felt dejected and stupid that I had just completed a whole 1.22 miles in about 21 minutes. *rolls eyes*

I know you all are going to hurrah me for getting out there, but I'm so friggin' frustrated still. Just a month or so ago I was running 5 miles. Now I want to die after WALKING ONE MILE?! *bangs head on desk repeatedly*

What's worse...I'm having that nagging, "What's the friggin' point?" ghost haunting me. I asked the Chiro this. I explained that I'm frustrated because I've worked SO hard to lose over 100 pounds and now I'm less mobile than when I was 100 pounds heavier. And then he said what I figured a doctor would one day... "Well, sometimes it's not because of your weight. After losing over 100 pounds, I doubt this issue was caused or is affected by your weight." And while part of me doesn't believe him, part of me was laughing hysterically. Remember all those doctors, year after year, problem after problem who attributed every damn thing I had to my weight? *snort* I kept screaming inside, "Surely every single problem I ever have cannot be because of my weight!" I knew it was mostly a cop-out. And now, straight from the horse's mouth, there it is. "This probably wasn't because of your weight."

I get it, I do. Go with the most obvious solution first. Girl is fat - girl has back problems = girl's back problems could most likely be caused by her being fat. Yea, apparently not.

Still, as funny as that is to me, it's still frustrating to feel like I'm back at square one. Over a year done here with consistency, sticking with it. I never disappeared for more than a week. I took only 1 full week off from exercising. Sure, I wasn't perfect, but I kept getting back up time and time again. I kept fighting. And there I was last night, walking that track, sure that every new little thing in there was staring at me thinking it was my NY resolution to finally lose weight and doing whatever pathetic thing she could, them all thinking that they'll outlast me at the gym...not knowing I'm a regular. And while I'm walking, pathetically, my body is feeling like it's day one too. And I hate that feeling. I've lived off the "It doesn't get easier, you just get better" motto for so long and now I'm faced with "and sometimes you get worse" crap.

So, yeah. Another stupid rant from me. Sorry about all these. I know how annoying it is to hear it, but it's more annoying to live it, trust me.

I followed my stellar day and pathetic performance at the gym with a tiny binge session last night of some of the sweets we have, and felt horrible for it. All before AND after I'd eaten the dinner I had prepared, telling myself not to eat out, to control my food, and I'm shoving down carmel corn and sugar cookies like they're going to run away or disappear. I even ate one of the buckeyes that I, surprisingly, no longer care for and a no-bake cookie that sucks. No, make that 2 of those crappy no-bakes. (I lost my recipe and the one I found online was NOT right.) *bangs head on desk again*

Today is another day. I'm going to attempt a better performance. I packed my gym clothes again. I plan on going out in a moment to take my first 5 minute walk. It may not do much in the way of losing weight, but at least it makes me feel like I'm trying.

Put the pulled pork in the crockpot before I left this AM, so dinner is taken care of...just need to make it through this day with only what I have on hand (cassoulet for lunch, a banana, and a granola thin) and then resist the temptations at home. Gotta break the cycle. Gotta stop eating my frustration. And, sorry, but I gotta keep venting here in order to have any hopes of doing that.

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