Sunday, December 04, 2011
So, I've been getting some compliments lately on how great I look. After you start losing a considerable amount of weight, you go from getting these all the time, to getting them less and less as people settle into the idea that you're changing. Either that or, like me, you stall out and there's not much to give a positive comment on other than, "Good job not gaining that weight back" which, thankfully, I don't know anyone stupid enough to say that to me.
When I start getting compliments again, it felt good, but I had gone so long without them that I wondered if it was just 'time' or something. You know, that these people around me want to continue to encourage me and it's been long enough that they felt I needed another boost. I didn't think there was much more to it than that.
Maybe I was wrong. When I boarded the little turboprop plane this afternoon bound for DC, I was, of course, hopeful that I'd be able to snap that stupid belt...I didn't have high hopes though. The last time I was in one of these was just this past summer and, let's face it, the scale hasn't declined that much since then. So imagine my pure glee when I heard the darn thing click into place. Not only that, but it wasn't a tight fit...there was wiggle room (though not enough to pull the other end or need to tighten the belt). Back on my summer trip, I learned that while I could fit the belts on the big planes, those turboprops were just mean and small. Today, however, I can't say that any longer. I am a seat belt extender asker NO MORE. I can fit in the seats of the airplanes and buckle the belt.
It's been part of a big lesson I've been learning recently. The true meaning of MY journey. I know we've all talked about how my journey isn't yours and whatever, but I don't think it really hit me until now.
Yesterday morning I met with my nutritionist for our last regularly scheduled visit. She did a kind of recap for me on what she's noticed about me over the past year. The biggest thing she noticed? I don't live in a straight line, and I can't lose weight that way. I have bursts of crazy motivation followed by moments - days or even a week sometimes - of none. I've constantly talked about trying to find balance and trying to stay consistent because I've always realized that these are the two main things I lack the ability to do. My sticker charts are never completed because I simply cannot be 100% 100% of the time.
Now this information is nothing new. It's something that has frustrated me to no end recently and some of you might remember me ranting about it just a few blogs ago - that two steps forward, one step back momentum I've got. Sure, it gets me where I'm going, but it seems like such a stupid way to travel. But sitting there talking to my nutritionist I told her that I was trying so hard to maintain a steady balance and then I said, "But I have to realize that may never happen." She nodded and smiled.
She told me that, for whatever reason, THAT may be the path I end up taking. I still succeed. I still get there, to my goal. Maybe not how I want to get there...maybe not in the straight line that everyone around me seems to have no trouble following, but through some crazy windy road. That's right, I'm taking the scenic route. And while sometimes it drives me completely mental, other times it feels good to me, it feels right - because along the way I have time to dawdle and learn valuable lessons. These are the lessons - I hope - that will help me reach my goal, but will allow me to keep myself there for a very, very long time. It allows me to build a life for myself within the journey, so it's not just about losing weight - it's about creating new habits and reinforcing those that work for me...finding things, healthy things, I can fall back on.
I have to be okay with that. I have to learn to LOVE my own journey for what it is, no matter how much it frustrates me. Because no matter how many times I've thought of, or even said I might be, quitting, I didn't and I won't. It's just not who I am anymore.
Something else I've learned about my habits through our meeting? When I'm working out steadily, everything else falls in place. I eat better, I actually CRAVE healthy foods and cooking. I drink more water. I want to move more. I'm more confident and better able to stay on task. No clue why this is such an important thing for me and why I can't simply cut my calories, not exercise and still lose weight, but, again, that's not how I work. I like to work out. I'm an athlete at heart, and I think I always have been, I've just never given myself the opportunity to harness and encourage and indulge that part of myself.
It's been a good day. Yes, I ate some ice cream (*gasp!* ;) ), but after a very hard night of horrible panic attacks worried about all the things that could go wrong today, so far it has been the smoothest trip I've ever taken. Checked in - no line. Bag paid for. Hugged my boys no less than 3 times each before they headed off. Then boarded my plane without having to wait for forever, had a pretty easy flight in, reading the whole time (and with the excitement of sitting in my belt without assistance!), and then landed and seemed to just...I don't know...go from one thing to another without much trouble. That felt great! I got my bag no problem. I got a taxi with no trouble - and the dude even gave me a receipt without hassle! *lol* Checked in without a single problem (early, I might add!) and went to the store and bought the few items I'll need to make some yummy stuffs in my room. (Grilled cheese and tomato bisque soup, hummus and pita, and pears! Oh, yeah, and the ice cream! *snort*) Now to relax and settle in and get some uninterrupted sleep (no puppies whining and barking!) and then head to class tomorrow. (I just hope the return trip goes just as well.)
And I'm realizing how much I've changed. Not just my weight and my size, but my confidence in everyday life - my ability to face challenges and overcome. My willingness to put myself in difficult situations, so that I can get to where I need to be. My unwillingness to sacrifice who I am and what I want just because it might be a challenge to get there. NSV, much!? ;)
Have a great week everyone! I'll check in when I can. Looking kinda forward to realxing and enjoying this week with the pool...and I can't wait until Tuesday so I can run the National Mall a little tiny bit! :)
Friday, December 02, 2011
Weight November 1st: 306.4
Weight Goal for December 1st: 299.9
Actual Weight for December 1st: 307.8
Loss/Gain in November: +1.4 pounds
I hate that. I hate that it doesn't show all the hard work I put in the first part of November because I lost it all around Thanksgiving between emotional stress and stress at work and another injury...my momentum just died and I undid all my hard work. *sigh* I remember I being at 302...I remember how exciting it felt to be SO close...and then... *sigh*
This is NOT acceptable. I need to get my shiz together like NOW.
I go to see the Chiro today, but I can't assume he'll just fix all my problems and I'll be perfect again. It's going to take hard work. It's going to be a month of painful workouts and icing my body and trying to move forward. I need to be more focused on my eating habits if I'm going to fall apart every night when it comes to working out.
Next week I'll be in DC for training. My plan is to walk, run, or otherwise exercise in their fitness center every single day, even if just for 20 minutes. May even try to locate my bathing suit so I can swim too and visit the hot tub. As far as food is concerned, I'm going to cook/prepare most of it myself. When I go out I'm going to try to be conscious of what I'm getting and what hidden calories it might contain. There are only 2 (types of) restaurants I'd like to eat at this time: some great sushi and a vegetarian/vegan place I found online, if I can find my way there...just so I can try some vegetarian/vegan dishes and expand my horizons in that regard.
I have to admit, I never signed up for the 3 Charleston races I wanted to do. Partly because of the injury making me worry, but mostly because of cost. As much as I'd love to be able to sign up for a dozen or more races, I just don't have the funds right now to even consider it. Hubs is working now, so that might change soon, but we'll have to wait and see. It may hinder my ability to sign up for the half too...who knows. *sigh*
This week has been insane at work too. Our work is having a celebration of 50 years of service -- 50 years ago a bill was signed into law in WV that formed the agency I work at and allowed us to do the great work we do. Because they know I've done a lot in regards to events like this, I got pulled in - which meant I had to do MY job, plus my old job all at the same time, and juggling that has been uber difficult. I have to go in after my appointment today in order to finish up as much as I possibly can before I leave for DC on Sunday. And since my other work (you know, my ACTUAL job) has been piling up behind me, I'll have to take some of that to DC with me and see what I can get done there so I don't miss my projected goal for the month of December (we're supposed to finish 3 cases a month...so I need to really get pounding on those).
I don't know if I mentioned this, but we also got a new puppy a few weeks ago. He's adorable, but training him has taken a fair amount of time from all of us. Taking him out a million times, training him not to bite/chew the wrong things, playing with him to wear him out so he'll sleep in his kennel each night (this one we've got down already! yay!).
Last night was the first night this week that I went to the gym and worked out. I did 35 minutes on the elliptical in an interval program and burned a fair bit of calories. Of course, I then ate over my allotted calories. See, THAT needs to stop. I gotta get my butt into gear because I WILL be in the 200s by the end of this month. Period. This morning I was 306.4, so I've got some work to do...but it's doable if I fight for it.
No more binging at night
Lots of water
Working out as much as possible without reinjuring myself
Run when I can (haven't run since T'giving day)
Bike when I can't run
Do whatever else when I can't stand to bike
I'm resetting my ticker today because I need to start from today, not lament over the damage I did after a couple weeks of insanity. Funny, the holidays didn't get to me, the stress of everything else was more of a problem than anything. Family issues, injury, new pup, new job for Hubs, more work for me. Stress, stress, stress. As they say in Anastasia, "Stress, it's a killer."
Get through the week. Get as much done at work as possible, and then hand it over and trust that there are other people qualified to do it, even if it's not to MY standards. I've done the best I've can with the short time I was given after it was thrown at me. I can't do everything. When today is done, I need to let it go and go home and do laundry and pack for DC. I leave Sunday. I want to be back at 305 or under by Sunday if possible.
I'll be undergoing my 4th week of training. Not sure what that will entail, really, but I'm going to try to get as much out of it as I can. Also need to get done a little bit of real work while I'm there so as not to fall behind completely. I have hit my goal the past 2 months (or exceeded it) and I'm not about to lose momentum now...especially after the glowing evaluation I got the other day. I also need to use this week to rejuvenate my spirit and my will to succeed. I won't have other distractions (family, puppy, other pets, etc.) so I should be able to devote this week to doing what I need to do to get my head, my heart, and my body back into the game. Then I'll come home (hopefully) with a renewed spirit and will triumph on. I hope to come back having lost at least 2 pounds...which is always hard to do when traveling. But I CAN do it if I focus on making my own meals, drinking a lot of water, hitting my calorie goals, and working out. That should put me right back around the 302 mark. I may also have an old friend coming to visit. I'm trying not to stress over this...or over the uncertainty of her plans. What happens, happens. I'll have to just go with it.
It's the week of our event, so I'm sure things are going to pop up, but after Tuesday it will all be done and I'll be free to focus on doing the same old same old. It's funny how bored I feel when I do that for a while, and then how much I crave it when I'm forced to switch gears and put myself into overdrive to complete other tasks. I had better be ready to close 1-2 cases by the end of that week, so I need to make sure the focus isn't lost. And I've got to hit the gym like nobody's business. Work on ST, on cardio, on circuits, on whatever it takes to burn the calories I need to get myself back to where I want to be. I need to be nearing the 300 mark by the end of this week.
The final surge before Christmas. Part of me secretly wants my 299 by Christmas...a Christmas present to myself. And I'll do whatever I can to get me there. But that doesn't mean I can slack off. I learned this week that you can do all you can for two weeks, but then if you slack off at the end of the month, you end up with the results like I'm seeing above. I don't want that. AT ALL. I want a considerable loss for the month. I want to renew and recharge for the end of the year and make 2011 something I can be really proud of. That will take WORK. At work I need to be ready to close out my final cases, so I have to keep focused on that. At the gym I have to be focused on burning calories and building strong muscles. And I need to always focus on my calorie goals. This has been my main weakness thus far. I've got to challenge my body to accept less and challenge my mind to know that it doesn't mean I'll be hurting my body or starving. I don't need that late night snack. I don't need a cookie. I need to stay focused. I need to be really close, if not AT already my 299 goal.
The final push. The last chance workout time. Stay focused. End 2011 with a bang. Make all the kids jealous of my winning spirit. Smile a lot and enjoy it. I WILL be at 298 by the end of the week. You hear that? I WILL BE AT OR UNDER 298 BY THE END OF THE WEEK. Now what do I need to get me there?
And NEVER quit...not even for a second
Here we go...the final push, the last 30 days to make something happen for 2011. I don't plan on wasting them.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
...but the couch. My hip is KILLING me lately. I've tried staying off of it the past couple days but that's just not working. All I have to do is get through to Friday when I get my adjustment (and probably a stern talking to from the chiro for messing everything up again). This is putting everything up in the air and I'm P.O.ed beyond belief because this time last year I was having similar problems keeping me from running (I remember because I had great dreams of running the National Mall nearly every day...I did, but it nearly killed me and as soon as I got back all my problems really got started).
So, I'm focusing alright...on my Christmas list. And my eating. And anything and everything else so I don't have another mental breakdown about stupid injuries and stupid pelvises that are askewed (and the oh, so lovely thoughts in my head about why THAT might have happened). I can't help but get annoyed sometimes. Annoyed at myself. Annoyed at this body. I keep hearing everyone compliment me on my committment and I wonder if they realize how many times a day I consider just giving up.
Let's face it. You all have seen my face for a little over a year now. But this "journey" or whateverthefluck you want to call it has been going on since 2004. Sure, I wasn't consistent the whole time. But all that time fighting and still being here, still DREAMING of the 200's. *growls* SO ANNOYING! I feel like a failure most days. Eight years and THIS is what I have to show for it? It's ridiculous and I'm pissed at myself for not doing better.
I'm pissed that I can't seem to eat like a friggin' bird like some people who do it seemlessly. Why the fluck does my body think 1200-1500 calories is some sort of weird murder/suicide plot I have going on? Why is my body SO insistent upon taking this SOOOOOOOO SLOOOOOOOOW?! WTF, dude? Just give me a little, for crying out loud!
I know, I know...it's all up to me. I've got to do the work. Don't you think I tell myself that all the time? Yet it's me who is ruining all my hard work, and me who feels guilty afterward. It's me constantly feeling like it's me against the world. Me who is constantly drudging herself up this neverending hill just to reach a tiny foothold and get smashed back down again. Always churning - never getting anywhere. THIS is why I don't write the story of my life...because it would look ridiculously odd. Look, I did all this work, I fought and fought and after blood, sweat and tears....oh, crap...I'm right back where I started again. I'm the constant neverending joke in my own mind.
Okay, before you all get angry at me for being so negative, let me tell you that, for me, sometimes the negativity is a tool. When I hop on here with this inspirational, "I'm going to do this!!!" RAWR type post...I crash and burn. It's me against me again. Whatever. I've tried fighting it for years. I'll never win and always win. It's constant up and down. And at least, if you look at it over time (like a LOOONG time) I am actually getting somewhere...it's just ridiculously slow going. And I'm not just talking about my weight loss, but life in general. I'm having the same talks and arguments with people in my life I thought understood where I was coming from. WTF?! Not listening? Don't care? Don't get it? What is it? I'm having the same damn talks with myself too.
I know what I need to do. I do. And I do it about 85% of the time. It's the other (crap, I'm no good at math...) 15% (right?) of the time that's killing my progress. Two steps forward, one step back. Still moving forward, but it's frustrating as hell.
So I'm not coming on here to tell you all I'm going to be 100% on...to brag about how I CAN do it because I HAVE done it. WTF ever, dude. I'm going to tell you that I'm a friggin' mess right now, but I'm just barreling through and doing the best I can because there doesn't seem to be any other way...at least not for me. I got this, and I don't. I'm here, and I'm not. I'm a good friend, and a sucky one. I'm the perfect daughter, and the perfect example of a mother's worse nightmare. It's kinda amazing how I can be so many friggin' people at once, right?! Yeah, if you lived inside my head you would've shot me by now. I promise. I give myself so much grief and demand so much of myself, and then let everyone walk all over me and wonder why I end up getting hurt. I'm my own worst friggin' nightmare and enemy and my own best friend.
What I will tell you is that I walked to the market today. I haven't done that in so long. And I got Stuffed Pepper Soup, which is low fat and friggin' amazing and full of vegetables and chock full of yummy stuff like antioxidants. And I can tell you that I was extremely happy that the cupcake bakery next to my market was CLOSED and that I ignored the chicken salad in favor of my soup and a spinach salad with strawberries, oranges, cranberries, feta, and almonds (though I'll be picking out the onions - YUCK!). And I can tell you that, in my weak financial state, I didn't even spend a dime on lunch today because I finally used the gift certificate my friend gave me MONTHS ago. So that's what I can tell you. That and - my hip hurts, my head hurts (probably from the hip pain), my knees are screaming at me (because the hips are off), and I just want to crawl in a hole somewhere, but I don't know how to do that (though I've tried) because I hate myself for it.
Yep. That's all I gots. The plan for tonight is to do a 45 minute circuit training at the gym. Strike that. The plan is to GO to the gym and swipe my card and maybe change into my workout clothes and maybe walk up stairs and maybe turn on the program and see what I can do. That's the plan. It's a crappy one, but it's all I can commit to right now. That and spending the rest of my time wishing the pains would go away and wishing I could sleep for days on end. Yep. Later. Peace out and all that jazz.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
So glad that's over. Well, sorta. Having Thanksgiving at home today with my Hubs and the boys (turkey took all day yesterday to thaw in cold water, but is now safely in the oven). The scale had me at 302.6 at first weigh-in this morning. (Of course, since then it's been saying 306 *face/palm*) Either way, I'm excited for a week of normalcy before I head out to DC for another week of training.
Even if I am at 306 after the madness that was this week, that only puts me 8 pounds off my goal, and 5 weeks to get it off. It's time for major focus and work, here. I didn't run yesterday in hopes that the hip would heal up a little more. Still a twinge sore, but I feel it healing...and I have a chiro appointment on Friday which should help as well. I did, however, do over 8 miles on the stationary bike, really pushing through some intervals at level 12, some even standing. It burned a good bit of calories while still allowing my hip some rest time.
Workouts will be key this week, as will healthy eating. Yes, I have cheesy potatoes cooking right now, but I can be conscious of how much I'm eating and only eat small portions of my favorites throughout the week. (I can't tell you how much I'm craving salads right now!)
Sunday - I want to get a walk in. I usually rest on Mondays but I want to give the hip a little encouragement and want to get our big dog out there for some walking fun.
Monday - I'm going to try to get my 2 miles in, even if I have to walk some of it. May also try to get some extra workout time in on the elliptical or rowing machine.
Tuesday - Circuit training round 45 minutes long. This counts as cardio and ST and makes me work hard, but not overdo it.
Wednesday - Speedwork. I'm going to try to get my legs to move a little faster this week, even if it's only for a few minute long bursts.
Thursday - I plan to do something light. Some yoga, a walk. Just move a bit even on my "rest" day.
Friday - Circuit training round 30 minutes. Gotta save some for Saturday and my adjustment may throw me off a bit.
Saturday - The plan is for 6 miles, but we'll have to play it by ear. What I don't put in as miles on the road I'll make up for with miles on the bike.
Then I fly out Sunday for DC. Every workout I do here can be done there because I know my hotel has a great fitness area. Plus, they have a hot tub where I can give my muscles some therapy and a pool where I can switch things up just a bit as long as there aren't kids crowding the area.
I'm actually looking forward to this DC trip because I've basically done all the touristy stuff already. Washington Monument? Yeah, seen it. Air and Space museum? I can basically give you a guided tour now. Instead I'll be focusing on exploring the other parts with my legs either running or walking. I'm hoping it won't be too cold this year. Last year I had to deal with high winds and got some wicked leg chaffing from the wind whipping my jeans on the front of my legs as I walked. The only things touristy-wise I'd like to see ...well, basically all there is left is finding my way to the Jefferson Memorial again. Each time I've been there in the past 2 years I can't seem to find my way there or I get worn out before I get that far. We'll see how I do this time and if I decide to try to make the trek or if I just save it for my last week of training (probably some time next spring or summer).
And the only food I'm looking forward to there? I am bound and determined to find some great sushi restaurant while I'm there. The rest of the time I'm going to try to make fresh meals at my hotel (which has a small kitchen in every room and a Safeway a few blocks away). I'm laying off the Starbucks this time. Unnecessary cost to get one of these every single day, sometimes twice a day. I'll probably indulge once or twice, but that's it. The hotel has free coffee, so I'll be using that instead and trying to stick to the same 2 cups a day I have here at home.
I have got to maintain focus. Just 8 pounds and I'll be under 300 for the first time in a very, very, very long time. And, let's be honest for a second, that is the ONLY thing I want for Christmas this year. That's all I want to end this year with. I want to reach my goal, and that will mean maintaining focus. Thanksgiving is my weakness, not Christmas. Sure, people like to pull out the sweets, but even my teeth now protest when I try to indulge too much in those things, so I'm going to stay away. Nothing that someone brings by this year is impossible for me to make at another time, when I'm not in such a push to get to this goal. It's not the last cookie in the world, even if it's the last one in the dish. I don't need it. I need 298.
I'm ready to fit into a new jean size. I'm ready to see this belly shrink. I'm ready to wear a sexy new outfit in a sexy new size to bring in the New Year with a bang. I'm ready to start feeling good about myself again. Not because I'm thinner, but because I have pride in the fact that I'm working hard toward my goal and maintaining focus. I get more self-confidence from sticking to it than I do from any number on the scale. When I know I'm doing good things for my body and health, I hold my head higher and no scanty look from a passerby touches me in a negative way because I know how hard I'm working.
Three weeks until my next gym weigh in.
Four full weeks until Christmas.
And five full weeks until the end of this year and the start of the next.
Screw New Years Resolutions, I have made always resolutions for myself, and it's time to start focusing on them again.
Also - If I'm doing those 3 Charleston races, I have to sign up this week. Deadline is Friday. First race is December 10th, the day after I get back from DC. (My friend is coming in that weekend too, so I still have a lot of cleaning ahead of me to get this house ready as Hubs had zero time to do anything while I was in SC.) Let's face it, I'm terrified with my hip hurting the way it does. I know May is MONTHS away, but OMG, I do not want to fully embarrass myself in front of people I grew up with. It's funny, though. Everyone keeps telling me, "If anyone can do it, you can." What is that? I like that people think of me as someone who will go after and stick to a goal, but I can't help but feel a little pressure with that. What does that even mean, anyhow?
Okay, Esther. Focus. Keep your eye on the goal. Nothing you experience or taste, no lazy rest day will feel as good to you as seeing that special number on the scale and knowing you worked hard to get there will feel. I've got this.
If anyone can do it, I can, right?!
1500-1800 calories per day.
2500 calories burned per week.
Stamina. Drive. Focus.
Lots of water.
Lots of love for yourself.
Plenty of ice and ice baths and warm showers.
Remember who you are. Remember how far you've come. And know that you've got this. You can do this. You've made it this far...it's time to break through that "impossible" wall and see what's on the other side.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Well, Thanksgiving was....interesting this year. A big blow out with the family followed by a guilt trip followed by 6 hours in a car to drive to my sister's house. I was an emotional wreck, but I made it through only by trying to make the best of everything. Instead of ranting over the emotions ...I'll fill you in on my Thanksgiving day.
Woke up at 7am-ish. Got dressed and went for a run. My hip was still hurting so I only ran a mile, and then walked another mile. Was pissed about the hip still hurting.
Proceeded to make myself a mostly egg white omelet with a bit of turkey breast and some feta cheese before starting the cooking madness.
I made almost the entire Thanksgiving lunch.
Ham (none of us care for turkey that much)
Mashed Potatoes from scratch
Stuffing (from a box)
Gravy (from a can)
Green beans and corn (again, cans)
Roasted peppers and potatoes and asparagus
Sweet potato casserole (from a package..mom said it was gross. I don't know, I didn't try it because I hate sweet potatoes)
Rolls (pre-packaged; just pop in the oven and heat)
I didn't say I was Betty Crocker. But making all that in one oven and on one stove took me several hours.
I did alright with my eating. Probably ate a tiny bit more than I should have, but nothing crazy.
Then clean up, put everything away.
And then I took 4 kids (12, 10, 9, 4) and a teenager (17 - my step-brother) to the playground where I watched the littlest play for a bit before playing tennis some.
We were at the park for a good hour or two, and then it got dark and we headed back.
And then Mom and sister set a plan of attack for Black Friday shopping...and by 8:30pm I was getting clawed (for towels, of all things!, and sheets!), walked around the store at least 4 times through crowds, trying to grab what I could for Mom and Sister while the stood in line for a limited number ticketed item.
And I didn't get to bed until after midnight. And I was wiped.
So what was I thankful for this Thanksgiving?
I didn't run 5 miles or do a turkey trot, but all those months of running and this past year of working hard has built in me some stamina that can only be beat by the 12, 10, 9, and 4 year old. *lol* (Seriously! I never remember having THAT much energy! PHEW!) But I never had this stamina before. I was tired all day, but I just kept powering through...something I learned through tough workouts and hard 5 and 10ks. Just power through.
Yesterday morning I woke up again around 7am and we headed home by 10am.
Did I eat the best this Thanksgiving? Nope.
Did I reach all my fitness goals? No...but I tried. I did miss my workout yesterday because I was in the car most of the day and then got hit with a serious migraine that night which required 2 Excedrin PM, which knocked me out during a great Backyard Brawl game (Pitt v. WVU) in the 3rd quarter (sad I missed that...).
And today? Today I'm supposed to do it all again.
I need to go to the gym. Going to try a run and, if that doesn't work, I'll hop on the bike or do my circuit training.
And then I'm going to do Thanksgiving here at home with Hubs and the boys...which may be what's in store for most of the years that follow this one.
Thank you all for the Thanksgiving wishes.
I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving full of joy and fun. I hope you ate well or at least enjoyed your day of gluttony and are enjoying the aftermath of getting back on track again.
I'm sorry I went incommunicado for a bit there. I'm sorry I can't explain more. It's been a rough week and I'm happy to be home.
And I think the scale might pat me on the back for my stamina tomorrow at weigh-in...or at least I hope it does. I'm not hoping for a huge loss, but a tiny gain or a maintenance weigh-in would be a great miracle after this stress-filled week. So far the goal is still in sight, right there, staring me down. My 299 is coming...I can feel it (and I'm literally dreaming about it too *lol*).
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