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Haven't Attacked Much...

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

...but the couch. My hip is KILLING me lately. I've tried staying off of it the past couple days but that's just not working. All I have to do is get through to Friday when I get my adjustment (and probably a stern talking to from the chiro for messing everything up again). This is putting everything up in the air and I'm P.O.ed beyond belief because this time last year I was having similar problems keeping me from running (I remember because I had great dreams of running the National Mall nearly every day...I did, but it nearly killed me and as soon as I got back all my problems really got started).

So, I'm focusing alright...on my Christmas list. And my eating. And anything and everything else so I don't have another mental breakdown about stupid injuries and stupid pelvises that are askewed (and the oh, so lovely thoughts in my head about why THAT might have happened). I can't help but get annoyed sometimes. Annoyed at myself. Annoyed at this body. I keep hearing everyone compliment me on my committment and I wonder if they realize how many times a day I consider just giving up.

Let's face it. You all have seen my face for a little over a year now. But this "journey" or whateverthefluck you want to call it has been going on since 2004. Sure, I wasn't consistent the whole time. But all that time fighting and still being here, still DREAMING of the 200's. *growls* SO ANNOYING! I feel like a failure most days. Eight years and THIS is what I have to show for it? It's ridiculous and I'm pissed at myself for not doing better.

I'm pissed that I can't seem to eat like a friggin' bird like some people who do it seemlessly. Why the fluck does my body think 1200-1500 calories is some sort of weird murder/suicide plot I have going on? Why is my body SO insistent upon taking this SOOOOOOOO SLOOOOOOOOW?! WTF, dude? Just give me a little, for crying out loud!

I know, I know...it's all up to me. I've got to do the work. Don't you think I tell myself that all the time? Yet it's me who is ruining all my hard work, and me who feels guilty afterward. It's me constantly feeling like it's me against the world. Me who is constantly drudging herself up this neverending hill just to reach a tiny foothold and get smashed back down again. Always churning - never getting anywhere. THIS is why I don't write the story of my life...because it would look ridiculously odd. Look, I did all this work, I fought and fought and after blood, sweat and tears....oh, crap...I'm right back where I started again. I'm the constant neverending joke in my own mind.

Okay, before you all get angry at me for being so negative, let me tell you that, for me, sometimes the negativity is a tool. When I hop on here with this inspirational, "I'm going to do this!!!" RAWR type post...I crash and burn. It's me against me again. Whatever. I've tried fighting it for years. I'll never win and always win. It's constant up and down. And at least, if you look at it over time (like a LOOONG time) I am actually getting somewhere...it's just ridiculously slow going. And I'm not just talking about my weight loss, but life in general. I'm having the same talks and arguments with people in my life I thought understood where I was coming from. WTF?! Not listening? Don't care? Don't get it? What is it? I'm having the same damn talks with myself too.

I know what I need to do. I do. And I do it about 85% of the time. It's the other (crap, I'm no good at math...) 15% (right?) of the time that's killing my progress. Two steps forward, one step back. Still moving forward, but it's frustrating as hell.

So I'm not coming on here to tell you all I'm going to be 100% on...to brag about how I CAN do it because I HAVE done it. WTF ever, dude. I'm going to tell you that I'm a friggin' mess right now, but I'm just barreling through and doing the best I can because there doesn't seem to be any other way...at least not for me. I got this, and I don't. I'm here, and I'm not. I'm a good friend, and a sucky one. I'm the perfect daughter, and the perfect example of a mother's worse nightmare. It's kinda amazing how I can be so many friggin' people at once, right?! Yeah, if you lived inside my head you would've shot me by now. I promise. I give myself so much grief and demand so much of myself, and then let everyone walk all over me and wonder why I end up getting hurt. I'm my own worst friggin' nightmare and enemy and my own best friend.

What I will tell you is that I walked to the market today. I haven't done that in so long. And I got Stuffed Pepper Soup, which is low fat and friggin' amazing and full of vegetables and chock full of yummy stuff like antioxidants. And I can tell you that I was extremely happy that the cupcake bakery next to my market was CLOSED and that I ignored the chicken salad in favor of my soup and a spinach salad with strawberries, oranges, cranberries, feta, and almonds (though I'll be picking out the onions - YUCK!). And I can tell you that, in my weak financial state, I didn't even spend a dime on lunch today because I finally used the gift certificate my friend gave me MONTHS ago. So that's what I can tell you. That and - my hip hurts, my head hurts (probably from the hip pain), my knees are screaming at me (because the hips are off), and I just want to crawl in a hole somewhere, but I don't know how to do that (though I've tried) because I hate myself for it.

Yep. That's all I gots. The plan for tonight is to do a 45 minute circuit training at the gym. Strike that. The plan is to GO to the gym and swipe my card and maybe change into my workout clothes and maybe walk up stairs and maybe turn on the program and see what I can do. That's the plan. It's a crappy one, but it's all I can commit to right now. That and spending the rest of my time wishing the pains would go away and wishing I could sleep for days on end. Yep. Later. Peace out and all that jazz.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAYBELIEVER 12/1/2011 7:29PM

    Yep. Been there. Done that. And will again. But remember, you still do keep coming back. Sometimes angry. Sometimes mad. Sometimes excited. And just coming back keeps you being "AWESOME". Probably not something you want to hear. And neither do I. But, that is what people keep telling me: "You have to know how awesome it is that you are doing this and making it happen." How many people don't even try? I go to the gym with "skinnier" people who don't want to give up their sugar or soy or flour. They want a pill. Sure, it wouldn't be bad. But in the long run, WE are working hard for this, and that DOES matter. Because we both are pretty darn AWESOME!!

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BLACK-PRINCESS 12/1/2011 7:20AM

    emoticon

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SPARKLINGVIOLET 11/30/2011 1:15PM

    So I'm sure you are well aware of every single stretch for you hips, but maybe not and I thought I should share.

The other day, I was saying to my friend that's a runner how my hip started to hurt and she made me do this stretch that felt LIKE HEAVEN!

It's pretty easy and I'm not sure why I didn't discover it sooner...

So you simply cross your legs while standing upright and lean over to one side without bending your knees or anything. The only bending should come from your middle. If you cross your right foot over your left, then you bend towards your left. If you cross your left over your right, then you bend towards your right. Hold you right hand (if you're bending right) straight down and reach towards the floor.

Seriously, it will feel soooo good!

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SARAWALKS 11/29/2011 8:09PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JEREMY723 11/29/2011 8:04PM

    So sorry that your hip is giving you such problems Ester. Are there excercises you could do with just your upper body? Just a thought. You're on the right course!

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ONCEUPONADREAM 11/29/2011 6:01PM

    You know, we're all messes in some form or another! :)

Hear where you are coming from. I started seriously five years ago, and it's taken me that long to get here. But you know, time is really relative when you consider that you are HERE. You didn't put on the weight, you kept it off and lost more. It's going. And it is going to KEEP going as long as you can lift your head to fight. Which is exactly what you are doing. How much farther you go when you fight is up to you.

I've been stalling a lot lately myself, and find that when I do it is usually a motivational issue. It needs to be renewed on a pretty constant basis for me, and when I don't, my progress halts. Also doesn't help I am trying to fix my metabolism from the crazy psycho mode I put it in some months back, but you know, it is what it is. It's getting there. Eventually.

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4EVERADONEGIRL 11/29/2011 4:37PM

    To say that I somewhat understand where you are coming from is an understatement! And I don't even have the reason of pain that is keeping me from doing what I *should* be doing. It's just pure self destruction and mayhem based on laziness and a total lack of willpower.

But what I HAVE done is not go to See's candy and pig out on a pound of chocolate all by myself while hiding in the closet. I HAVE gone running and am finally getting on track with my half training that is only two months away. I HAVE not eaten every single snack I brought today well before it was time. :-)

See, we may sabotage ourselves, but sometimes we get it right and we need to celebrate those just as much as we beat ourselves up. Right? Well, that's my story and I'm stickin' with it!!!!

Hang in there girlie...I'd like to say it gets easier, but this isn't either of our first rodeo. But I can say that we got your back and if need be, we will pick you up and carry you when you're feeling like you can't go on anymore!!!!!

emoticon

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ERIN1128 11/29/2011 4:30PM

    One of the things I love about you is your honesty...if you posted every day about how easy it is, I would be completely turned off and hate you, LOL! Hang in there and keep fighting the good fight...we're all right there with you.

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GOGOSHIRE 11/29/2011 2:53PM

    Sorry you are having so much pain. I hope it subsides soon and that you feel better. xo

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Post Thanksgiving Plan of Attack

Sunday, November 27, 2011

So glad that's over. Well, sorta. Having Thanksgiving at home today with my Hubs and the boys (turkey took all day yesterday to thaw in cold water, but is now safely in the oven). The scale had me at 302.6 at first weigh-in this morning. (Of course, since then it's been saying 306 *face/palm*) Either way, I'm excited for a week of normalcy before I head out to DC for another week of training.

Even if I am at 306 after the madness that was this week, that only puts me 8 pounds off my goal, and 5 weeks to get it off. It's time for major focus and work, here. I didn't run yesterday in hopes that the hip would heal up a little more. Still a twinge sore, but I feel it healing...and I have a chiro appointment on Friday which should help as well. I did, however, do over 8 miles on the stationary bike, really pushing through some intervals at level 12, some even standing. It burned a good bit of calories while still allowing my hip some rest time.

Workouts will be key this week, as will healthy eating. Yes, I have cheesy potatoes cooking right now, but I can be conscious of how much I'm eating and only eat small portions of my favorites throughout the week. (I can't tell you how much I'm craving salads right now!)

Sunday - I want to get a walk in. I usually rest on Mondays but I want to give the hip a little encouragement and want to get our big dog out there for some walking fun.
Monday - I'm going to try to get my 2 miles in, even if I have to walk some of it. May also try to get some extra workout time in on the elliptical or rowing machine.
Tuesday - Circuit training round 45 minutes long. This counts as cardio and ST and makes me work hard, but not overdo it.
Wednesday - Speedwork. I'm going to try to get my legs to move a little faster this week, even if it's only for a few minute long bursts.
Thursday - I plan to do something light. Some yoga, a walk. Just move a bit even on my "rest" day.
Friday - Circuit training round 30 minutes. Gotta save some for Saturday and my adjustment may throw me off a bit.
Saturday - The plan is for 6 miles, but we'll have to play it by ear. What I don't put in as miles on the road I'll make up for with miles on the bike.

Then I fly out Sunday for DC. Every workout I do here can be done there because I know my hotel has a great fitness area. Plus, they have a hot tub where I can give my muscles some therapy and a pool where I can switch things up just a bit as long as there aren't kids crowding the area.

I'm actually looking forward to this DC trip because I've basically done all the touristy stuff already. Washington Monument? Yeah, seen it. Air and Space museum? I can basically give you a guided tour now. Instead I'll be focusing on exploring the other parts with my legs either running or walking. I'm hoping it won't be too cold this year. Last year I had to deal with high winds and got some wicked leg chaffing from the wind whipping my jeans on the front of my legs as I walked. The only things touristy-wise I'd like to see ...well, basically all there is left is finding my way to the Jefferson Memorial again. Each time I've been there in the past 2 years I can't seem to find my way there or I get worn out before I get that far. We'll see how I do this time and if I decide to try to make the trek or if I just save it for my last week of training (probably some time next spring or summer).

And the only food I'm looking forward to there? I am bound and determined to find some great sushi restaurant while I'm there. The rest of the time I'm going to try to make fresh meals at my hotel (which has a small kitchen in every room and a Safeway a few blocks away). I'm laying off the Starbucks this time. Unnecessary cost to get one of these every single day, sometimes twice a day. I'll probably indulge once or twice, but that's it. The hotel has free coffee, so I'll be using that instead and trying to stick to the same 2 cups a day I have here at home.

I have got to maintain focus. Just 8 pounds and I'll be under 300 for the first time in a very, very, very long time. And, let's be honest for a second, that is the ONLY thing I want for Christmas this year. That's all I want to end this year with. I want to reach my goal, and that will mean maintaining focus. Thanksgiving is my weakness, not Christmas. Sure, people like to pull out the sweets, but even my teeth now protest when I try to indulge too much in those things, so I'm going to stay away. Nothing that someone brings by this year is impossible for me to make at another time, when I'm not in such a push to get to this goal. It's not the last cookie in the world, even if it's the last one in the dish. I don't need it. I need 298.

I'm ready to fit into a new jean size. I'm ready to see this belly shrink. I'm ready to wear a sexy new outfit in a sexy new size to bring in the New Year with a bang. I'm ready to start feeling good about myself again. Not because I'm thinner, but because I have pride in the fact that I'm working hard toward my goal and maintaining focus. I get more self-confidence from sticking to it than I do from any number on the scale. When I know I'm doing good things for my body and health, I hold my head higher and no scanty look from a passerby touches me in a negative way because I know how hard I'm working.

Three weeks until my next gym weigh in.
Four full weeks until Christmas.
And five full weeks until the end of this year and the start of the next.

Screw New Years Resolutions, I have made always resolutions for myself, and it's time to start focusing on them again.

Also - If I'm doing those 3 Charleston races, I have to sign up this week. Deadline is Friday. First race is December 10th, the day after I get back from DC. (My friend is coming in that weekend too, so I still have a lot of cleaning ahead of me to get this house ready as Hubs had zero time to do anything while I was in SC.) Let's face it, I'm terrified with my hip hurting the way it does. I know May is MONTHS away, but OMG, I do not want to fully embarrass myself in front of people I grew up with. It's funny, though. Everyone keeps telling me, "If anyone can do it, you can." What is that? I like that people think of me as someone who will go after and stick to a goal, but I can't help but feel a little pressure with that. What does that even mean, anyhow?

Okay, Esther. Focus. Keep your eye on the goal. Nothing you experience or taste, no lazy rest day will feel as good to you as seeing that special number on the scale and knowing you worked hard to get there will feel. I've got this.

If anyone can do it, I can, right?! emoticon

Five weeks.
1500-1800 calories per day.
2500 calories burned per week.
Stamina. Drive. Focus.
Lots of water.
Lots of love for yourself.
Plenty of ice and ice baths and warm showers.
Remember who you are. Remember how far you've come. And know that you've got this. You can do this. You've made it this far...it's time to break through that "impossible" wall and see what's on the other side.
ONWARD! MARCH!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRYSTLE4HIMTX10 11/28/2011 10:43PM

    emoticon emoticon

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4EVERADONEGIRL 11/28/2011 2:19PM

    You've got this!!!! Laser precision focus, baby!!! You can do it!!!

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DETERMINED_SOUL 11/28/2011 11:55AM

    emoticon

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HEALTH-E-CLARE 11/28/2011 11:21AM

    YOU CAN DO THIS. You have a great plan for this week and while in DC (congrats on getting that all squared away before you even leave!)

We are going to have an awesome end to 2011 weight wise, I can feel it.

I hope the hip is feeling better today, and hoping you have a nice 2 nmile run.

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BLACK-PRINCESS 11/27/2011 4:02PM

    emoticon

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CHICAT63 11/27/2011 3:49PM

    Woohoo, you can & will get there for Christmas. The 290s are just around the corner !

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JEREMY723 11/27/2011 1:34PM

    Sounds like you have a great plan, and great alternatives if your hip is causing problems. Have a great week!

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EUPHRATES 11/27/2011 10:45AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ERIN1128 11/27/2011 10:37AM

    Great plan - you WILL do this!

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ERIN1128 11/27/2011 10:36AM

    Great plan - you WILL do this!

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Thanksgiving Recap

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Well, Thanksgiving was....interesting this year. A big blow out with the family followed by a guilt trip followed by 6 hours in a car to drive to my sister's house. I was an emotional wreck, but I made it through only by trying to make the best of everything. Instead of ranting over the emotions ...I'll fill you in on my Thanksgiving day.

Woke up at 7am-ish. Got dressed and went for a run. My hip was still hurting so I only ran a mile, and then walked another mile. Was pissed about the hip still hurting.

Proceeded to make myself a mostly egg white omelet with a bit of turkey breast and some feta cheese before starting the cooking madness.

I made almost the entire Thanksgiving lunch.

Ham (none of us care for turkey that much)
Mashed Potatoes from scratch
Stuffing (from a box)
Gravy (from a can)
Green beans and corn (again, cans)
Roasted peppers and potatoes and asparagus
Cheesy potatoes
Sweet potato casserole (from a package..mom said it was gross. I don't know, I didn't try it because I hate sweet potatoes)
Rolls (pre-packaged; just pop in the oven and heat)

I didn't say I was Betty Crocker. But making all that in one oven and on one stove took me several hours.

I did alright with my eating. Probably ate a tiny bit more than I should have, but nothing crazy.

Then clean up, put everything away.

And then I took 4 kids (12, 10, 9, 4) and a teenager (17 - my step-brother) to the playground where I watched the littlest play for a bit before playing tennis some.

We were at the park for a good hour or two, and then it got dark and we headed back.

And then Mom and sister set a plan of attack for Black Friday shopping...and by 8:30pm I was getting clawed (for towels, of all things!, and sheets!), walked around the store at least 4 times through crowds, trying to grab what I could for Mom and Sister while the stood in line for a limited number ticketed item.

And I didn't get to bed until after midnight. And I was wiped.

So what was I thankful for this Thanksgiving?

STAMINA.

I didn't run 5 miles or do a turkey trot, but all those months of running and this past year of working hard has built in me some stamina that can only be beat by the 12, 10, 9, and 4 year old. *lol* (Seriously! I never remember having THAT much energy! PHEW!) But I never had this stamina before. I was tired all day, but I just kept powering through...something I learned through tough workouts and hard 5 and 10ks. Just power through.

Yesterday morning I woke up again around 7am and we headed home by 10am.

Did I eat the best this Thanksgiving? Nope.
Did I reach all my fitness goals? No...but I tried. I did miss my workout yesterday because I was in the car most of the day and then got hit with a serious migraine that night which required 2 Excedrin PM, which knocked me out during a great Backyard Brawl game (Pitt v. WVU) in the 3rd quarter (sad I missed that...).

And today? Today I'm supposed to do it all again.

I need to go to the gym. Going to try a run and, if that doesn't work, I'll hop on the bike or do my circuit training.
And then I'm going to do Thanksgiving here at home with Hubs and the boys...which may be what's in store for most of the years that follow this one.

Thank you all for the Thanksgiving wishes.
I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving full of joy and fun. I hope you ate well or at least enjoyed your day of gluttony and are enjoying the aftermath of getting back on track again.
I'm sorry I went incommunicado for a bit there. I'm sorry I can't explain more. It's been a rough week and I'm happy to be home.

And I think the scale might pat me on the back for my stamina tomorrow at weigh-in...or at least I hope it does. I'm not hoping for a huge loss, but a tiny gain or a maintenance weigh-in would be a great miracle after this stress-filled week. So far the goal is still in sight, right there, staring me down. My 299 is coming...I can feel it (and I'm literally dreaming about it too *lol*).

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

4EVERADONEGIRL 11/28/2011 2:16PM

    You did a LOT girl!!! Good job for channeling the STAMINA you have worked so hard for!

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BLACK-PRINCESS 11/26/2011 12:44PM

    Happy emoticon

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NOTABOUTHEFACE 11/26/2011 9:37AM

    Gotta love the holidays, they bring out the "best" in people! ;) Hope the hip heals up soon for you!

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JEREMY723 11/26/2011 9:23AM

    Don't be sorry, only share what you want to:) I hope today is a better, calmer day!

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ELRIDDICK 11/26/2011 8:42AM

  Thanks for sharing

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Weigh-In Day: Healing Edition

Sunday, November 20, 2011

emoticon
Weigh-In Day

Weight Last Week: 304.0
Weight Goal for This Week: 302.0
Actual Weight This Week: 302.8
Weight Loss/Gain: -1.2 pounds

I'll take that! It's been a rough week, trying to heal from a bit of a hip injury. It's just a regular flare-up, although it's in the other hip this time, but I've been juggling how much to rest and how much to push.

Yesterday's goal was to run 4.25 miles...but that was before the soreness in my hip from pushing too hard on Monday's 2-miler. I told myself to just try, but to allow myself to stop if/when it hurt. I ended up running 1/2 a mile before I started to feel it in my hip and had to walk a bit. Ran a tiny bit more after that but mostly walked the rest of the way home. Total distance/time? 1 mile - 15 minutes. *sigh* I can't help it. I was a little bummed. But instead of being upset about it all day, I went ahead and headed off to the gym. I figured a round on the stationary bike (the upright one, not the recumbent one) would help. And I keep reading so much about 20 minute HIIT and how good it is for you, sometimes even better than 40 minutes or more of other workouts.

I pushed myself for a minute here and a minute there, creating my own intervals, upping the resistance and my speed for intervals. I pushed hard, and I felt it! 20 minutes, 7.21 miles. And, yep, that counts toward my mileage goals. I figure I'm working a lot of the same muscles while still resting my hip from running. Going to have to remember this for the next time my hip acts up. My hip feels better today and the rest of me is SUPER sore! *lol*

So, yes, I'm healing while still trying to move forward.

On to goals for next week...

emoticon 1600-1700 calories per day
This is about where I need to be to keep losing consistently and I SERIOUSLY need to work on doing this. I've done this before, I can do it again.

Yes, Thanksgiving will be a challenge. But I will do my best to stick to my ranges or, at worse, not go over 2000 calories for the day.

emoticon Meal plan
I gotta make sure I've got everything planned for today through Tuesday because by Wednesday we're going to be out of town and flying off the cuff. I've gotta set myself up for the best success I can possibly have. Going to try to pack sandwiches and snacks for the road too...healthy snacks, not gas station goodies!

emoticon Avoid THIS!
I've got to keep myself in check this week more than ever. If I can make it through Thanksgiving with a loss it will be one of my greatest successes. I've gotta make sure I do everything I can to make that happen considering all the road blocks I've got: two Thanksgiving meals, road trip, not having my kitchen, not being able to plan every meal, and going out of my comfort zone.

emoticon Pack lunch tomorrow and whenever I can.
Tomorrow I'm on my own for lunch, so I can pack something healthy. Then, Tuesday, I've got a lunch Thanksgiving meal, so I need to watch myself there. No ruining the week on food that isn't quite as tasty as the meal my family will prepare. I'm bringing a big salad for the meal and that's where I hope to fill up the most. My plan? Salad, mashed potatoes (sorry, it's one of my 2 most favorite foods in the WORLD! *lol*), and stuffing (another absolute fav, and made by a woman I KNOW knows how to cook, so I'm grabbing a little bit for myself). Then, like I said, I'm going to try to pack meals for the road on Wednesday.

emoticon Continue to work out.
This is NO time to slack off. The plan remains much the same.

Today - rest and stretch
Monday - 2 mile easy run
Tuesday - NTC 30-45 mins
Wednesday - rest and stretch (driving day)
Thursday - Thanksgiving 5k
Friday - NTC 30-45 mins
Saturday - LDR 5 miler

Of course I will adjust where needed for my hip. The plan is to run where I can, and take it easy, but to walk the rest where I need to or adjust accordingly as needed. I hope to burn anywhere from 2300-2500 calories working out this week.

emoticon Drink WATER!
And, of course and as always, drink tons of water. My body needs it more than ever right now and I have to keep up on it.

Weight Goal for next week: 300.8

Can you believe November is coming to a close already? What's your plan to get through the holidays without packing on a few unwanted pounds? All I want for Christmas is 298 on the scale! *lol*

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MANLEYSANDY 11/22/2011 11:34AM

    Way to go!!!

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MAIA2011 11/22/2011 10:33AM

    emoticon emoticon

Yikes! If anyone can do it, you can, Esther! I'm sending you good thoughts for a loss after T-day weekend!

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HEALTH-E-CLARE 11/21/2011 2:52PM

    Congrats on the 1.2 loss while battling injury. I knew you could do it.

I'm worried about Turkey Day too. I'm a LOVER of mashed potatoes too, but I will be good. We're eating at my mom's friends house, so hopefully I won't feel awkward and eat more.

Good luck on your 5k!

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DETERMINED_SOUL 11/21/2011 12:53PM

    That is a great weight loss! You are so right, listening to your body is very important emoticon

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BLACK-PRINCESS 11/20/2011 1:53PM

    emoticon

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THEEXERCISER 11/20/2011 11:15AM

    emoticonon the weight loss! It sounds like you have a emoticonplan.

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PRIN1978 11/20/2011 10:25AM

    YOU CAN DO IT GIRL!! Don't give up, you're doing great!! With determination you can surpass that goal! Good luck! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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It's Nice to Hear Good Things

Saturday, November 19, 2011

It's no surprise that this week has been rough on me. I had a great 5-miler last Saturday, and while it was rough, it wasn't all that bad. Monday, however, I did my "easy" 2-mile run and stupidly I ran too fast. As I told the woman at the gym yesterday, I think I was just wanting to get it done because it was cold and I was tired and that led me to running too fast. Easy days are supposed to be slow and easy. Those 2 miles going too fast, pushing too hard, gave me horrible hip pain...and that killed the rest of my week.

Tuesday, I took a rest day. I consciously chose to take the day off to heal and rest. The plan was to go to the gym every day after that and use Tuesday as a substitute rest day instead of Thursday...and then life took control.

Hubs has been working with his dad lately. My FIL does HVAC and finally landed a gig after a long time of nothing coming down the pipe for him. Because Hubs was available, he decided to help out. What that meant is that I had to take over on kid duty and take Ethan to both of his practices this week. I had to take off work early, head home, grab the boy and take him straight to practice both Wednesday and Thursday. Besides the pain in my hip, exhaustion took over after an hour and a half at the field and, well, I didn't make it to the gym and didn't manage a run or other workout either of those 2 days.

Yesterday, though, I knew I had to get back at it. I set myself up for a 45 minute circuit program through NTC. This one was called Hurricane.

5 minute warm-up included:
2 min light jog
2 min slide & glide
1 min straight leg kicks

Then a 1 minute recovery before the real work started.

30 sec modified push ups
1 min squats
1 min alternating step back lunges
2 min single leg deadlift
2 min cross back lunges
1 min plank row
1 min russian twist
2 min opposite arm/leg extension
2 min side lunge
1 min jump rope
1 min toe touches
30 sec modified push ups
1 min squats
2 min alternating step back lunges
2 min single deadlift
2 min cross back lunge
1 min plank row
1 min russian twists
2 min opposite arm/leg extension
1 min side lunge
1 min jump rope
2 min side lunge
1 min plank row
2 min cross back lunge
2 min single deadlift

And then, finally, some stretches:
2 min lying quad stretch
2 min pretzel stretch

I did a few more stretches after that. I needed it. My hip started getting pretty agitated near the end of that LOOOONG circuit and I had to take a few breaks here and there to stretch and then got right back to it. By the end of it, I was feeling pretty worn out and exhausted....and then I had to do my fitness test.

*lol* Oops!

*Note: The jump rope was so hard! I used to love to do that as a kid but yesterday I only managed 3 in a row each time until I'd falter and have to start again. I pushed to get more and more each time. One time I got 4 in a row. It wasn't until the last push on the last round of jump rope that I finally managed 10 in a row! WOOT! *lol*

First was my weigh-in. Thankfully this method of working out before weighing in dropped some poundage for me again. I was at 306 yesterday morning (back down to 304 this morning!), but after my workout I scored a 302.2 on the scale, which (THANKFULLY!) showed a loss for the month. I think my waist measurement went down slightly as well, but I'm not too sure on that because we didn't compare it to last months...I'm just going on memory.

The fitness test is for my 1-year check-up with the Weight Management program with my insurance company. It's hilarious because she kept having me read how I felt on a chart she had (one of those 4-20 on how hard the workout felt). I sat down already pretty tapped out after the circuit - my range on the scale was already elevated, my heart rate was up, as was my BP...and then the real fun started.

6 minutes around the track, stopping every 2 minutes for a check of BP and pulse. Got my BP up to 220/something during the second check. *lol* My heart rate elevated as it should. I was walking pretty fast because when someone says, "Let's see how many laps you can do in 2 minutes..." I take that as a challenge. I managed about 3 laps every 2 minutes, so that felt pretty good. I nearly crashed into some old dudes on my second time around, and we had a good laugh about how we need to install traffic lights on the track.

Then we went downstairs and I had to do the leg extension and the bench press machines. The goal was to see where my max lifting weight was. In other words, the weight at which you can do one rep, but no more. Legs? She stopped me at 110. Bench press? We tried 120 and I failed, so, again, I got 110.

Then it was on to crunches, pushups, and 3 sit and reaches. The goal on the first 2 was how many I could do in 1 minute.

Crunches - 50
Pushups (modified) - 25
(I think I would've been able to do more pushups if I hadn't done that circuit before. *lol* Those plank rows are EVIL!)

As for the sit and reach - you put your legs at 14 and then reach as far as you can on a yard stick. I think I got to 28-30 somewhere on my third attempt.

We then sat down and talked. How was I doing? Was I worried about the holidays? Nope. Not really. This year it's just my family, my mom's family, and my sister's family. We're skipping the HUGE family lunch and opting for a reunion-type thing of the 3 girls and our families down at my sister's new house in SC. (Can I tell you how friggin' HYPED I am to cook in her HUGE kitchen?! *lol*) All three of us are concerned about our diets, our health, and our fitness levels. We had planned to do a turkey trot that day in Charlotte, but after further discussion and worries from all of us on fitness ability and cost, we opted out. Instead, I suggested, why don't we do our OWN 3.1 miler? No pressure. You don't even have to do it all at once. If you need to split it up over the 3 days we're there, do that then. We take it at our own pace, we do our own thing. If the kids want to run, we'll let them. (I might run too.) As far as lunch is concerned, we're going to make our favorites our way so we don't have to be tempted by things we don't really want to have around. I know my list is pretty simple...I want mashed potatoes, dressing, and veggies galore. (I'm not a huge turkey fan, though there will be turkey.) I'm thinking of making my roasted veggies, a huge salad for those who want more veggies, and I'm trying to track down a sensible dessert option for all of us (though I know there MUST be pumpkin pie there or Logan will have a fit! *lol*).

We also discussed my BMR a bit and my other numbers. It seems my BMR has gone down from 2300 to 2100...so my 1700 calorie limit I discussed the other day is pretty good, though I should shoot to closer to 1600. I KNEW I was eating too much! My BMI is at 46 now, down from 46.3 last time. They also tried to lower my weight goal again to 216 now, but I ignore that number. I told her last time that I'm going to still shoot for 230, like we decided in the beginning. Once I get there, we can reset it lower if we need to, but I can't think that far ahead right now.

Among all this, though, the best part of yesterday (besides the good weigh-in I was hoping for but wasn't expecting) were the kind words I got. She told me no less than 3 times how good I've been looking. She said, "I just really looked at you today and you're shrinking! You're looking great!" :) And my absolute favorite...I finally swallowed my fear and told her, "I got this crazy idea that me and a friend are going to do a half-marathon next year." She didn't so much as flinch. She immediately said. "And you will. I have no doubt you can do it. If anyone can do it, you can do it." Wow. Just...wow. That felt good.

So now I'm sitting here trying to hype myself up for my COLD run today. (It's been FREEZING outside lately but I HATE running indoors!) Scheduled run is 4.25 miles, but I'm going to listen to my body and do what I can do. If it's 4.25 miles, great. If it's only 3.1, fine. Even if I just get out there and do 1 mile and feel like I need to stop, I will. I told the girl at the gym my thoughts after this week... "I can either push through the workout and risk an injury, or take a rest and risk having one bad week. I'm going to choose the one bad week. An injury can put me out for several weeks...and I don't want that." It felt good to say. It made sense to me. And it gave me permission to listen to my body and stop pushing so hard when I know it's going to lead to a week like this one. Pushing through discomfort is fine...pushing an injury too far is not. More than anything I learned this year, THAT will be what I take into 2012 with me.

Anyhow, that's the update for now. Off to make a good eggs and oats breakfast, and then let that digest a little bit before getting suited up for my run. Then I've got to swipe my card at the gym and then head off to Ohio for Ethan's All-Stars game. I'm hoping they win that huge 6 foot trophy today...and hoping it warms up a bit so I don't freeze my butt off in the stands! *lol* Oh, and then a trip to Wal-Mart to grab supplies for 2 school projects we have to work on this weekend. Ethan has a diorama and Logan has a brochure project that need to be done. Thankfully we've got all next week to work on them, but Ethan really wants to get a jump on working on it so he doesn't have to rush to get it done. (Now THAT's my boy! ;) )

Have fun, y'all. Thanksgiving is NEXT WEEK! Let's finish this week with pride! :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

4EVERADONEGIRL 11/21/2011 2:02PM

    You are doing AWESOME!! Way to go!!

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35ANGELS 11/19/2011 6:00PM

    emoticon No doubt in my mind that you can do a half marathon! emoticon

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THOMS1 11/19/2011 10:00AM

    emoticon

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MIQUEY73 11/19/2011 9:46AM

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BLACK-PRINCESS 11/19/2011 9:11AM

    emoticon keep it up

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