CALLIKIA   23,828
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CALLIKIA's Recent Blog Entries

Setting New Goals - W5.D3

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

So, now that graduation is over and done with, I need new goals for myself. I have spent the past 3 years working toward this point, so it's time to set a plan of action for the next three. And what better place to track all my goals than here at Spark, where tracking goals is the name of the game?

emoticon Food Goals
Use baby steps to keep myself within goals.
- Cook at least one new recipe a week and have the family rate it.
- Measure everything.
- Drink 8 glasses of water every day.
- Consume 4-6 servings of fruits and veggies every day.
- Track everything.
- Work on switching from coffee to green tea.
EDIT: One more - Reduce my dependence on frozen dinners at work to "nearly never"!

emoticonFitness Goals
Just keep moving!
- Work out for at least 10 minutes every day.
- Follow SP strength training workouts (ST 5 days/week on different areas)
- Cardio jam sessions 3-4 times a week, walking at least 30 minutes.
- Work interval training to work towards goal of running a mile.
- Start training to walk my first 5k with Mom.

emoticonActivity Goals
Get out there and do something!
- Plant a vegetable and herb garden.
- Go to the lake once every weekend (if possible).
- Hike once a month, increasing distance and difficulty.
- Work on swimming technique and incorporate water aerobics.
- Incorporate Yoga and Tai Chi into my routine to help with balance and flexibility. (and focus)

Other Goals
emoticonStop smoking.
emoticonTake Joe for walks and socialize him.
emoticonFind ways to limit grocery bill.
emoticonUse FlyLady tips to clean and organize home.
emoticonWork on saving money.
emoticonReward myself for goals met and consistency.
emoticonGet writing.
emoticonSend out 5-10 resumes a week.
emoticonMake decision on grad school and (maybe) send out more apps by September 30th.
emoticonRead one book from each of these 12 categories:
1 - "Classic"
2 - Appalachian
3 - Foreign
4 - Kid/YA Lit
5 - Non-Fiction
6 - Plays
7 - Poetry
8 - Short Stories
9 - Pre-WWI
10 - WWI-1980
11 - In My Lifetime (1981-present)
12 - Suggested by Others

and...
emoticonSpread the Spark!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KILA1228 5/18/2010 9:30PM

    Wow, you are on it! Positive attitude (LOVE IT)! I need to do what you're doing and start a goal list! Way to go girl!

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ALIMESSA 5/18/2010 2:55PM

    Revamping and revising goals is so important...our lives are ever changing, and therefore, so are our goals! Way to stay on top of it and keep yourself on track!
Good luck...I'm here, cheering you on every step of the way!!

emoticon
As always,
Stay Strong!!


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DLEE27 5/18/2010 1:19PM

    I love this list! Regarding the quitting smoking - there is a book called The Easy Way To Quit Smoking by Allan Carr. It was recommended to me by several people and when I finally read it I quit smoking when I read the last page. That was 6 weeks ago and it has been the easiest time out of all the different times I've tried to quit. I've since told 2 different people about and they both quit with it too. (secretly I googled it a found a free pdf version...so there's really no harm in trying!)
Good luck with all of your super awesome goals!!!

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REDCHILIFLAKES 5/18/2010 12:02PM

    Lots of goals! Way to keep the momentum going after graduation and emoticon !!!

Your grad pictures look great and it looks like you are ready to tackle the next stage of your life.

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PRETTYMANDI 5/18/2010 10:52AM

    I really like this! It makes me feel inspired. maybe I should be putting my goals down in a more tangible way so that I can't just conveniently "forget" them!

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CALLIKIA 5/18/2010 9:44AM

    MEG - I use goodreads.com to keep track of my books read usually, but I'll post them on here as well. I'm starting with Carrion Comfort which was bought for me by a friend for my birthday (in JANUARY! *lol* Haven't had time to read "for fun" in SOOO long!).

HARMONY - It's going to be very difficult considering I have lived on coffee for 3 years. Only way I could get myself through 15+ hour days!

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HARMONYBLUE 5/18/2010 9:31AM

    Nice goals. I have just switched from coffee to decaf teas myself in the last week or two. The first week was hard, but it gets easier and easier Good luck!

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MEGSFITNESS 5/18/2010 9:25AM

    Great goals to work towards. I especially like your use of icons :D

So, where are you getting your reading recommendations from? Will you be keeping a list of the ones you read?

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KLEE76 5/18/2010 9:11AM

    emoticon

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Crazy Weekend (with pics) and Not Feeling Good - W5.D2

Monday, May 17, 2010

Okay, so I've been away for a few days - but I've had a whole lot going on, so can you really blame me? Told my mom - "Hey! I only get to graduate from college once!" (well, unless of course I go back for my Masters and PhD...but that's beside the point)

So the last you heard of me, I was enjoying a day of snacking at work while my co-workers celebrated my graduation.


I then went to the funeral for Marty, which was beautiful and touching. I held up a friend or two, cried a lot, and paid my respects. Then went to graduation rehearsal, after which I learned that I earned a 3.82 or 3.84 (I don't quite remember) meaning i would graduate summa cum laude. YAY!

Then friends and I went to dinner, where I got a chicken taco salad and a margarita to celebrate.


The next day I slept in a bit, then got up and got ready for a night out. I have to admit that I did not workout on Saturday. I was too busy running around getting everyone ready. The kids stayed up with the in-laws and Shane and I headed to Charleston for Sushi and Beer.


I'll admit it - I drank too much. But I never do that, so I let myself have that night. I had earned it. I was good with that. Stayed out until 1:45am with friends from school and had a really great time listening to some live music.

I barely got up the next morning, and I had a monster headache, but I think the hype of Graduation Day sobered me up. Graduation was very long - like 4 hours! I had to stand in the hot "tunnels" for an hour before we marched out to our seats. Then there was plenty of up-down-up-down at the ceremony when they recognized honor students, those in honor societies, etc. I found out that I was #1 in my class in the English department, which really made me feel so proud!


So I graduated. Got my diploma (with a crooked Summa Cum Laude sticker on it! *lol*) and the day went very well. Tons of pictures were taken, mostly by my mother so I have to wait to get those back. But hubby took a few with me and friends.


Headed out to Logan's afterward where I had a small steak and a baked potato. Shane said I deserved a steak, and I agreed. It was good. I had fun.


Now it's back to reality. Surprisingly, I managed to basically maintain my weight through the chaos. Only gained like .4 pounds, which for me is a HUGE deal! Trying to suffer through very sore legs today - so even though I didn't technically work out on Saturday or Sunday - I did a whole lot of standing and up-down in my seat and my legs are KILLING ME! Feels like I did 100 lunges or squats or something! Missed work because I think I may have picked up whatever the boys have been sick with all last week (and because of my legs) but tomorrow I'm back to work.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KILA1228 5/18/2010 9:33PM

    Way to go on the summa cum laude! What a great weekend you had!! Congrats on your graduation!
ps-you look great!

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-SHIMMER-ANN- 5/18/2010 4:03PM

    You look so beautiful!!!!!!!!! And awesome job!!! Are those tuna rolls? Yum!!

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JESSASAURUSFLEX 5/17/2010 8:39PM

    What a busy lady!! You looked gorgeous in that black and white top!

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CRIS76 5/17/2010 3:30PM

    big congrats to you!

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ALIMESSA 5/17/2010 3:18PM

    Congrats on all your accomplishments!

As always,
Stay Strong!!

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DLEE27 5/17/2010 2:06PM

    emoticonWhat a fantastic accomplishment. You must be so proud of yourself! Number 1 in your class!!! Way to go!

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MEGSFITNESS 5/17/2010 1:23PM

    Great job!

You probably did about 100 squats getting up and sitting down and getting up again lol! I think that should count ;D

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PRETTYMANDI 5/17/2010 1:20PM

    Congratulations! You did a great job!

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IFDEEVARUNS2 5/17/2010 1:07PM

    Congratulations on your graduation, and on celebrating yet not gaining weight. I think you have things figured out! emoticon

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Thanks! - W4.D5

Friday, May 14, 2010

Just wanted to thank you all for the positive energy you've been sending my way. I'm feeling a little better today, and feel like I'm strong enough to get through it. I haven't felt strong for a couple days, so it's a good feeling to get that back.

Also wanted to mention that everyone at work noticed that I've lost weight today! Made me feel really good. And I shared with them the secrets of healthy weight loss - slight modifications. I brought in Black Bean Brownies, Pink Stuff, and Low-Fat Cheesy Potatoes. All went over brilliantly!

I make the cheesy potatoes every time we have a function here, and I knew people would be upset if they didn't get to have them again...so I tweaked the recipe. Left out the butter, used fat-free cheese and low fat sour cream, and nobody seemed to mind a bit! As for the brownies - everyone is shocked that you can puree black beans and use them with a brownie mix instead of eggs and oil and such. "Really? Just black beans? Surely you added water...no? Wow!" and "They taste just like a brownie!" was all I heard.

The pink stuff is something my mom still eats all the time following her GP surgery. I went easy on the marshmallows (mom leaves them out) and upped the pineapples, and used sugar free jello and low fat cool whip (think I'll get fat free next time, but I already had the low fat at the house, so I didn't feel like buying any more.

I think I'll go take pictures of everything now! *lol*

I honestly didn't feel much like working out last night, so I tricked myself into it. I grabbed a cart at WalMart and went shopping ALL AROUND THE STORE for over an hour with my youngest son. On the one hand, it just felt like shopping, but I knew I was getting my exercise in by doing it, so SCORE! So I didn't end my streak even though I had a "bad day" - this is a major improvement! Now to just keep myself away from the donuts today! (Hungry today from the non-eating day yesterday...for some reason my body feels the need to make it up all in one day...silly body!)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

-SHIMMER-ANN- 5/17/2010 12:38PM

    Haha, yay!!! Sorry you've had a rough time as of late...but I'm looking forward to awesome pics! :)

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DLEE27 5/14/2010 1:45PM

    Awesome! You're always cooking up something delish! I want to come for supper at your house! Lol. Glad you're feeling better today emoticon

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CALLIKIA 5/14/2010 12:01PM

    MANDI-
http://recipes.sparkpeopl
e.com/recipe-detail.asp?recipe=
927709

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ALIMESSA 5/14/2010 11:44AM

    Glad you seem to be doing better today...and Congrats on keeping that streak alive!!

As always,
Stay Strong!!

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PRETTYMANDI 5/14/2010 11:44AM

    Can I get the recipe for black bean brownies? Brownies are my fave and I haven't had them in forever because I have high cholesterol and I really want to try those! Your blog made my mouth water! Hehehe

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WHOVIANPRINCESS 5/14/2010 10:29AM

    Good job revamping your old recipes to make them healthier! It is awesome how much of a difference small changes can make. It is great people are noticing your progress, and that you are willing to help them understand the process.

Have a great weekend!

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VALLOUGH 5/14/2010 10:23AM

    I still haven't tried black bean brownies-- my food processor kicked the bucket before I had a chance. I love your substitutions, nicely done!

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Saying Goodbye - W4.D5

Thursday, May 13, 2010

I posted on my feed earlier that I was in a bad mood and I didn't know why. That isn't true. I guess I just wasn't ready to talk about it yet, so I pushed it aside. But now that I'm done with finals I have time to sit down and reflect. I warn you that this isn't going to be motivational. I try not to harp on negatives, but today I can't run fast enough anymore. Time to stop and realize that the truth is staring me down.

Late last week, one of my very best friends texted me to inform me that her father had passed away. I didn't know her father, but I really wanted to be there for her in whatever way I could. Unfortunately, I had finals. I missed the funeral service. I didn't get a chance to send a card or flowers. So I did what I could. I told her that I was there if she needed anything, and then I took a step back. I let her be with her family and grieve, because I knew she was surrounded by a huge extended family that would be better able to comfort her than I could. Today I called her to let her know that I was sorry for what I didn't do, and she told me that she understood - which I knew she would. I told her that when the pain had died down a little, I would be there to take her out for a drink...to help her move on. But for right now I knew she needed to just say goodbye on her own.

Then on Monday, beautiful Marty left this world. He left it in a violent way, and I was hurt, and angry and confused. I prayed for peace for him. And though I didn't know him very well, it stung. I mean, deep within me it stung. I didn't know why. It didn't make any sense to me. I knew I had always been an emotional person and from time to time I suffer the most severe survivor's guilt due to my inability to find my own self-worth. But this wasn't it this time. This was something different. All I knew at the time was that I had friends all around me who were hurting, and I was hurting right along with them.

My distance allowed me to get through the past couple of days, but today I woke up plauged by nightmares and thoughts of Marty the night before. Every time I closed my eyes I saw his face. This face that I had come to look for to brighten my day, now smiled at me and made me uncomfortable. Still I wasn't sure why. Not until I drove into the parking lot at school today, prepared to walk in the very same room where I had last seen his smile. And it hit me like a ton of bricks.

When I was in high school, I knew another beautiful boy named Seth. We weren't the closest friends, but we had grown up together in a way...and by junior year we were beginning to get closer. I knew his struggles at home, and his deep homesicknesses for the school, friends, and family he had just left. And one night as we joked on the drive home and I dropped him off outside his door, he smiled at me, gave me a "See you tomorrow!" and I never saw him again. That night he committed suicide in his house.

The event broke me. It sent me down a spiral of depression I couldn't understand, and couldn't crawl out of for years. And one day, right before I started my last weight loss journey years ago, I said goodbye. I told him that I loved him, but that I couldn't carry him around with me anymore. He was too heavy to carry and it was killing me. And I let him go.

As people go, Seth and Marty were of the same mold. They were made from the same fiber and of the same essence. There was a kindred spirit in Marty I hadn't found since I lost Seth. I didn't realize it until today that my brain had connected the two events, the two spirits. And I realized then where my bad mood had come from. Once again, I was called upon to say goodbye. And not only to Marty, but to everyone I had come to know in the past 3 years.

Today was my last day of undergrad at WVSU. I didn't appreciate it much when I was going all the time. I complained about teachers and rude "kids" and all that went along with homework, essays, and tedious but useless assignments. But now that I'm having to say goodbye, well...it's hard.

I'm sure to some people this might sound completely rediculous. But, like I said, I am a VERY emotional person. When something hits me, it hits me HARD.

So this week has been all about saying goodbye, and I'm trying to use this as a way to understand my eating habits when things like this happen. What I've found is that I'm not an emotional eater, as everyone once thought. In fact, the opposite. When the world is in chaos, I don't eat. And when I do, well, it's difficult to be mindful about what you're eating when your mind is elsewhere. I eat because I know it's time to eat. I'm not hungry. I could go all day without more than a headache to clue me in, which I would likely contribute to crying too much.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this to all of you. I guess I just need some way to remind myself that when the crap hits the fan, I can choose whether to hold on for dear life or just let go. Since I know what the fall is like, I'm trying to remember to hold on this time.

I ate at McDonald's for breakfast, but I just got one thing, and I tracked it. For lunch, well, I couldn't bring myself to eat more than about a cup of granola. But after that final I picked up a small chili and baked potato at Wendy's. I'm trying to pull myself out of auto-pilot, but it's been really hard. So I need to remember this for the next time, and just pray I make it through this weekend in one piece.

Tomorrow is Marty's funeral, followed by graduation rehearsal and a reception at school. Saturday is a graduation dinner with friends. And Sunday is the finale...graduation.

So I guess what I expected to be an easy week for me, one of the happiest in fact, has turned more emotional than I expected. If you pray, please pray for me. If not, please send me some good wishes or "happy thoughts" because I'm going to need them. Because this weekend I have to try to perfect the art of saying goodbye and not falling apart while I do it...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEGSFITNESS 5/14/2010 8:50AM

    Thinking of you, this weekend. *hugs*

Everyone falls apart at least a little when we lose someone. Take the time to grieve.. lean on your friends who are grieving too. Just like your schedule for graduation and social engagements, though, you must remember that life does go on. YOUR life does go on... you will smile, laugh and be light hearted again. Doing so does not betray those that have left us behind. Always remember how much you loved Marty's smile--I'm sure he loved yours just as much.

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MOCHA2470 5/14/2010 12:27AM

    you are in my thoughts and prayers! we all have issues, and you are so brave to being yours out in the open. just know you are not alone, even if you are alone. we are here and understand.

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MONTE_MOMMA_3 5/13/2010 10:14PM

    I am so sorry you're having to go through this!! It never gets easy. I lost a very close friend to suicide and almost took this route several time in my own life as well. It still, to this day, hurts when I think of him. It's going to be tough, but the only thing you can really do is be strong for yourself and try to move on. Unfortunately, life does continue for those of us who are left behind. Big emoticonto you, and if you need to talk or anything, please don't hesitate to message me! You've got tons of supportive people around you. Please know that you don't have to go through this alone!

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ALIMESSA 5/13/2010 9:22PM

    Lots of "happy thoughts" coming your way...ok...there they go...did you get them yet? I sure hope so...and I'll send you some more later on, and tomorrow, too!

As always,
Stay Strong!!

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KILA1228 5/13/2010 9:08PM

    My younger sister and brother passed away and I know how HARD it is to let go. It's a good thing to let go but very hard. I realized one day that, my inability to move on, was due to my thinking that I was disrespecting their memory in some way. I know this wasn't the case, I just had to make myself see clearly and realize letting go was for the best and I still have my memories. I hope you start to feel better and have a fabulous weekend! Enjoy and remember-they will always be in your memory and heart, in a small corner. You may let go, but cherish the small part they leave behind.

Comment edited on: 5/13/2010 9:09:10 PM

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JESSASAURUSFLEX 5/13/2010 7:00PM

    Wow, you have had quite the hard week. Hang in there, kiddo. It's never easy, and it's never going to be...but it will get better. Lean on your friends, and loved ones. You made me just count my blessings, and be thankful.

emoticonJessie

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SUSIEMT 5/13/2010 6:27PM

    I am sorry for your loss. It sounds like you know how to handle it though. Try to enjoy what you can of this week. You deserve it. emoticon

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DLEE27 5/13/2010 6:00PM

    emoticonI'm so sorry. I know there is not much I can say to comfort you, and that you need to do this on your own, in your own time, but just know that I am thinking about you and sending all of my positive energy to you. emoticon

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Vocabulary Lesson - W4.D4

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Every time I visit YOOVIE I'm reminded that "Life is a Verb". Now the English Major in me wants to argue - No...LIVE is a verb, life is a noun (or an adjective)...but I get what's she's saying. This nit-pick habit of mine, led me to a conclusion last night.

When we lose something, it is usually a very sad thing. We lose a friend or a loved one and we need time to grieve. (I learned that especially this week, and that was only an acquaintance.) But when I say "I lost 10 pounds!" I really don't need to grieve...it's cause to celebrate. So why do we say we "LOSE" weight? I mean, I understand the concept...I comprehend "LOSE weight," but I just had to look it up. (Thank you dictionary.com!)

LOSE (is a verb! *lol*)
There are 28 definitions for this verb including the following:
- to come to be without (something in one's possession or care), through accident, theft, etc., so that there is little or no prospect of recovery
- to fail inadvertently to retain (something) in such a way that it cannot be immediately recovered
- to suffer the deprivation of
- to fail to keep, preserve, or maintain
- to give up; forfeit the possession of
- to stray from or become ignorant of

Wow! All pretty negative there. Truth is, I won't "suffer the deprivation of" those 17 pounds I've lost so far. I didn't "fail inadvertently to retain" them either, I worked my butt off in order to get them to go away! I didn't "give up" anything, and I'm less "ignorant" today than I ever have been, at least in regards to my health and well-being.

There are some shining definitions though:
- to get rid of (which is the meaning given for losing weight)
- to leave far behind in a pursuit, race, etc. (that's a little better...I am pursuing something, and as we run we leave these pounds behind -- "Eat my dust!")

But my favorite of all...
- to condemn to hell; damn.

Now that's what I'm talking about! Bye-bye extra weight! Good riddance! I don't need you anymore! Burn! BURN in the fiery pits of hell! MWAHAHAHA!

So the next time you "lose" some weight, think of it burning away in hell, never able to return to you. You've condemned it through all your hard work! You left it behind in your race toward your goal! Hopefully that little bugger doesn't give out your address to his buddies...gotta keep running to keep them behind you as well!
emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALASKASKY 5/13/2010 10:30AM

    emoticon

So true...so true.

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SPUNKYDUCKY 5/12/2010 10:06PM

    LOL! You crack me up! Too funny. I need to get working harder to condemn some more lbs!

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AGAINALWAYS 5/12/2010 6:56PM

    Haha! That's great! I will totally condemn my fat to hell. I'm sure they'll enjoy torturing it.

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BEYOURBEST1 5/12/2010 2:22PM

    Great blog! Congrats on the great job with your weight! I will not say loss because who wants it anyway! As far as I am concerned, my lost weight can remain lost, I have no plans to look for it.
emoticon

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SUSIEMT 5/12/2010 1:53PM

    Well, that puts my kicked 'em to the curb to shame! LOL

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CALLIKIA 5/12/2010 1:47PM

    MEG - I guess I've come to see it as something that I once needed. It was there for a reason...whatever that reason may have been at the time. But I don't need it anymore. I'm stronger and tougher and more sure of my abilities - I don't need these pounds to hide behind anymore because I'm ready to show the world the real me. (Of course, it has taken me years to get here...)

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ALIMESSA 5/12/2010 1:07PM

    You write such fun blogs to read! Thanks for taking the time to share with all of us! Always a good subject, leaving us with plenty to think about

As always,
Stay Strong!!!

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MEGSFITNESS 5/12/2010 12:49PM

    Wow, pretty fiery there, eh?

The way I think of my weight loss, though, I kind of DO need to grieve for it and adapt. Sure--it's something that has held me back and made all sorts of situations uncomfortable. At the same time, though, it's what makes me comfy to cuddle with. It's been a part of me since day one and I would be lying to myself if I thought it didn't impact the type of personality and coping skills that I've developed along the way.

So as I lose weight, there's been a part of me that has been terrified of losing "myself" or the essesence of "me" as well. Will I still give good hugs? Will I still be comfortable to cuddle with? Will I ever be warm again (I'm constantly cold/chilly now that I've lost 10% weight)?

I'm still excited and motivated to lose weight. I'm just very conscious of the other changes that come along with it.

I'm glad to see that you're staying motivated and excited too.

---

On a random note (since you're nit-picky), in casual conversation online, I type how I talk and I totally say "I'd've" or "you'd've" or other (what I've come to call) double-contractions. ;D Whoops.

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STEVENGO2 5/12/2010 12:48PM

    emoticon emoticon

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PRETTYMANDI 5/12/2010 12:46PM

    Loving today's entry! Lots of *food* for thought. hehehe
emoticon

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