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Weigh-In Day and Hot, Steamy Football

Sunday, September 04, 2011

Well, here we are again. it's weigh in day...
Weight Last Week: 315.4
Weight Goal for This Week: 313.4
Actual Weight This Week: 312.2
Loss This Week: 3.2 pounds!!


Total Lost with SP: 104 pounds
Total Lost Overall: 154.4 pounds

Still feeling good. Still a little confused about the whole "do this/don't do this" nonsense...but pushing through it. Yesterday I iced myself down as much as possible and I have to say I feel better today than I have in a little while. Still sore in my back, but doing alright.

Let's go over what I did right this week that led to this success, shall we?

1. I ate within my calorie ranges. YAY me! It's been so long since I've been able to stay consistent with this! I was really worried about yesterday because I got hungry on the way to Ethan's football game, but I felt so much better once I realized the field we went to had a deal with Subway and I was able to get a 6 inch sub on wheat! YAY! I also didn't eat Dairy Queen when the family went after the game, and instead came home and finished off some leftovers from our Pad Thai Stir Fry. I win!

2. I stuck pretty closely to my exercise routines, taking time off when I needed it for my back.
Monday - Leg ST followed by a Run that went surprisingly well
Tuesday - ST and Elliptical time
Wednesday - Rested
Thursday - Zumba and ST (though I cut it a little short...)
Friday - I took off, but I did actually run at the mall trying to find Hubs when we got separated from one another. I walked the dang mall at least twice and then was running from the car to inside and flip flops! *lol*
Saturday - 2 miles total, about 1 1/2 running with a few breaks after running a little over a mile straight.

3. I drank my water! How could I not with the heat we've been experiencing this week?! UGH!

4. I kept my positive attitude, and when that failed and I got confused, I did what I know I should do anyhow. I keep thinking, "If I want this to work I have to do the best I can every single day."

All in all, a pretty good week, methinks!

Working on a meal plan for the week. The grocery store has pork loin and chicken on sale this week, so I'm trying to devise a plan that uses these two ingredients. (Just finding a recipe for pork loin that doesn't include barbecue sauce - which I hate - has been a challenge. I used to have a recipe for these Asian Lettuce Wraps that I think could work with pulled pork, but now I can't find the stupid thing. Sucks too because it was SOOO good! I'll keep looking...)

And my plan for next week is the same as this week.
- Stay within my ranges
- Drink my water
- Stick to my workout schedule
- Make adjustments when needed but don't use it as an excuse to crap out completely.

Monday - Leg ST and a Run
(Going to have to remember to get to my FIL's house to use his weights because the gym is closed tomorrow. *pouts*)
Tuesday - Push ST and Elliptical
Wednesday - Bike for 20 minutes (I'd really like to do this one this week...I haven't gotten it done once yet)
Thursday - Zumba and Pull ST
Friday - Shoulders/Abs/Biceps ST and Circuit or Cross Training
Saturday - Another shot at that 2 mile run

Wish me luck!!

And now, for the Football report... *lol*

So my youngest had another game yesterday. Let me first say that sitting in the heat, even when you beg someone to sit under their awning thing for some shade, for hours and hours is NOT fun. It was HOT yesterday...I mean HOT! It didn't help that Ethan didn't play the entire first half of the game and so I didn't have anything to distract me. After about an hour there I started feeling sick, and I knew exactly what it was...I was about to hit the heat exhaustion threshold. I was drinking my water, but it wasn't enough. I finally broke down and bought us all those Flavor Ice things (those who know me knows I don't do popsicles...) and eating that made me feel better immediately!

After the half, they finally put second string in and had first string remove their pads. (It was super hot, remember? They were taking extended breaks to water down the players anytime they changed possession of the ball.) Finally! I was gonna get to see my son play. And he was finally going to be able to show the coaches what he has to give. (We've been talking recently about how important it is for him to show them everything he's got during game time and practice so they might move him into first string where he wants to be.) Sure enough, my son gets in at noseguard and gets a tackle not long after being in. A few plays later and he assists with another tackle! I was so proud! But then they switch to offense and I'm shocked when I realized my son is playing center - arguably one of the most important positions on the team. He did it perfectly. He didn't bobble one snap and then he got up and guarded his quarterback. *PROUD MOMMA!* As center, he led the second string to a touchdown and helped the team walk out of there with an even better score for their W column!

On a weight-loss related note. Under the tent-like thing we were under there were a small group of little kids playing around with a digital camera. One of them kept taking video of everyone and then showing them. At one point she turned the camera on me while I was trying to watch my son play. "Look," she then says to me and starts giggling. I look and there I am on her little camera. And, you know what? I didn't want to punch the girl in the face! *lol* I didn't look bad. I looked GOOD actually! I was super happy with that and I smiled at her, told her she "got me" and held my head a little higher. We all know how horrible candid shots can turn out, but this one I was quite alright with. *big grin*

So, a good day yesterday and a good week this week (for the most part) led to another loss on the scale. I'm happy with that, and I'm ready to keep going. Just 12.3 pounds away from Deuceland!! I cannot wait!!

I'll leave you with some food p0rn! *lol*

Our healthy dinner I threw together the other evening.

I marinated the chicken in some Balsamic stuff, but that wasn't the important part. *lol* My cracked fingerling (well, I used red, but the recipe says "fingerling" but I didn't have any of those) potatoes were awesome and much quicker than roasting. Plus they weren't totally soft and I'm surprised I liked the firmness of them. It was fun to make too because I cracked my potatoes by banging them with my cast iron skillet. *lol* Only mushed one! *snort* They and the other veggies (which I roasted in the oven) got the same treatment - olive oil, ground thyme, grated Parmesan cheese, and a bit of sea salt and cracked pepper. They were AMAZING! *LOVE* Will now know how to roast veggies easily.

And my omelet this morning, thanks to some help from my sister:

Onion and celery cooked with some olive oil. Then I tossed in 3 egg whites and one full egg that I had whisked together. Added a bit of turkey and cheese in the middle and some salt, cracked pepper and a touch of garlic powder while it was cooking. OMG! NOM!! I think next time I'll just leave the cheese and turkey out because it doesn't really need it. Sis tosses some feta on top after it comes off the stove, but I didn't have any in the house. good and only about 300 calories. A little higher in fat than I wanted, but oh-well. Good breakfast choice over the Shoney's buffet the kids wanted this morning.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


MARY emoticon

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ABB698 9/5/2011 7:32PM

    Happy Labor Day! emoticon

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SAPPHIREAURA 9/5/2011 2:16PM

    You are such an inspiration! I couldn't help but look through your photos and all I have to say is congrats on the weight that you have lost so far. You look amazing!

Do you have any tips on running? I am currently getting into C25K and I really want to run my first marathon in 4 weeks.

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NINNY165 9/5/2011 11:31AM

    Thanks for reminding me that small changes add up to great losses or at best little gains..or even better a boost in overall confidence emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ERIN1128 9/5/2011 10:46AM

    Esther, I am SOOO glad thpings turned around for you! See, you really ARE stronger than you think.

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SARAWALKS 9/4/2011 2:23PM

    Bravi Esther and Ethan! emoticon
You are going to so LOVE Deuceland and you'll be there sooner than you think!
I do that egg thing all the time with different stuff that's just left over in the fridge. Easy and so tasty. If you want a bit of meat you can put in a bit of precooked Jimmy Dean turkey a little hunk to it...yum! emoticon

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HARMONYBLUE 9/4/2011 1:29PM

    Awesome week! You know you have arrived when you start to look good in candid shots! But your chiro would kill you if he knew you were walking, much less running, in flip flops LOL I get lectured all the time about going anywhere in flip flops.

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BRIAEL 9/4/2011 11:48AM

    Achievement! Goal busted for this week, go Esther! :)

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    Congratulations on the great week...You Rock!

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LUCYVT 9/4/2011 10:40AM

    emoticon emoticon

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Half a Mile Closer and Yet Further Away

Saturday, September 03, 2011

I didn't want to run this morning.

No. That's not right. I wanted to run, I was just scared to because I didn't want to "fail" again. For the past, oh, I don't know, month or so I've been working uber hard to get my body to a place where it can run two miles straight without stopping. The closest I had gotten was about 1.25 miles or just over. And it was so hard! But I keep trying.

Yesterday, I had a meltdown. I went to my CC and he adjusted my back again, but this time he decided to poke and press on the little middle lower back area that I just avoid touching completely. It's sore. And when he pressed on it, I actually whimpered. He apologized, but we've gotten to the point where it's necessary to really work on the root of my problems. He's been working the pelvis tilt fixes for a while, now to tackle the very, very, very sore disk in my lower back. I wanted to cry, but I didn't let myself. "Have to be strong!" I told myself. So I was...and I didn't cry even though I really wanted to.

And then we were done with adjustments and it was time for our regular talk. He said he was "surprised" that I only had to stop once in my 40 minute Zumba class on Thursday. "Not surprised that you could do it," he quickly added. "Just surprised you didn't need to stop more." He figured I'd be in more pain. He doesn't realize that I've learned to just work through pain because I don't realize there might be life without it...or maybe I realize some people get that, but I don't believe I ever will. And if I let pain stop me, I wouldn't be where I am now. I have had to learn what pain is manageable and what pain is not.

And then he told me not to do anything that involved standing on one leg for too long with high knees. Ugh! That's a definite Zumba move. He told me I could do it over and over a thousand times but it only would take once and I'd be flat on the floor in extreme pain and would undo all the work we had done. I told him I would modify, but I felt my heart breaking. I went through the list in my head of all the workouts I do, all the ones I enjoy, and I got scared. Really, really scared. But I showed a brave face and told him I would soldier on. And I smiled at the girl at the front desk as I passed and headed out to the car.

And then I stopped. And I shook...and I couldn't stop shaking. And I tried to tell myself I was fine because I was physically alright, if just a little sore. And I got in the car and put the key in and then I stopped again and started crying uncontrollably.

Hubs asked what was wrong and I couldn't tell him. I told him it hurt. I told him I was in pain. I told him I didn't know what was really wrong because I wasn't in enough pain to cause this kind of reaction. I apologized for falling apart and tried to laugh it off and move on.

I shook for at least an hour, all through breakfast I tried to right myself, but I couldn't focus. I just kept feeling like my world was falling apart. And I didn't understand it...I just didn't know what what I was feeling. I couldn't vocalize it (and I'm not exactly known for not being able to speak my mind). But I kept falling apart over and over and I felt like I couldn't move or breathe.

Yes, I experienced pain at the Chiro's office. And while, yes, it was more than usual because he found my sore spot, it wasn't anything I couldn't normally work my way through. But still, all day I kept falling apart. It wasn't until hours later that I realized I was scared and heartbroken and confused.

If I work out, I could really injure myself badly.
If I don't work out, I won't ever lose this weight and that will hurt me too.

And so I'm stuck between a rock and a very, very sore place. Darned if I do, darned if I don't, and not knowing which is the right option. I've done so much for my health in the past year, and I'm so thankful for that. But now I'm faced with the pain of putting such a large body through so much to get where I am. It's hilarious that I thought it was so slow moving...maybe, for my body's sake, I didn't move slow enough.


So when I woke up this morning, I was still sore and heart broken and terrified. I had skipped my workout the night before and felt so incredibly guilty. I could've done that workout...but it might've really hurt me. I had looked at the planned ST and they were risky moves with all the soreness in my back. CC says my stomach is weak, but crunches really hurt my hips and back, but I need them to correct the problem. Do you see the vicious circle forming? I just don't know what to do half the time or what the right answer is.

I did finally get myself mentally to a place where I let my run happen. It was difficult. I got 2 miles in, only about a mile and a half of that running, and only just over a mile of that running without a break. I went farther today, but I'm still not there yet. And while I want to rejoice in what I've done and how I'm getting so much closer to my 2.5 milers with 2 miles running, I can feel the pain in my lower back starting and I know it's going to be a rough day.

CC says don't stop running/walking. He says modify Zumba, but don't stop working out. He says it's good for me, but I need to listen to my body. Problem is, I can't tell what my body is saying. I'm not sure how sore is too sore, how much pain is too much pain. And I'm terrified I'm going to end up in a bed somewhere unable to walk because I pushed too hard, or in a bed somewhere bedridden again because I gave up when I should've pressed on.

I have no answers as of yet. I'll keep pressing on for now. I'll keep icing. I'll keep hoping that continued progress will keep me progressing toward what I really want. But I do hope that sometime soon I can shake this fear, because I hate letting it control me...or confuse me. I never want to go back to a life of fear again. I want to be the brave girl, the girl that soldiered on even when it got difficult. I want to be able to look back on my life and say, "I got through some really rough stuff and I'm so much better for it!" So that's what I'll keep doing. I'll keep trying to read my body and just hope I'm reading it right. Man, I wish there was a manual for this...

Workout today is complete.
2 miles in just under 32 minutes. (closer to my goal of consistent 15 minute miles too...) Over 300 calories burned. Now to just keep my eating and water in check and pray the scale doesn't act like a dope tomorrow morning... I'd love to see a 313 number...

Still have 3 football games, a yard that needs mowed, a garden that needs weeded, and meal planning to do for next week. Onward...however apprehensively...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HARMONYBLUE 9/4/2011 1:25PM

    I avoided touching my lower back for years because it hurt so bad. I'd get pain in it during exercise, but nothing in comparison to what I'd feel if someone actually put physical pressure on it. Then my chiro started doing flexion-distraction and it made a WORLD of difference. Is that what you mean by the pelvic tilt? If not, email me!

Also, do you do yoga? There are several yoga poses that I MUST do after I run to avoid backaches. I do the sun salutation flow very slowly for ten minutes or so (
beginner-sun-salutation-yoga.html) modifying it a bit b/c my belly gets in the way of the lunges, so I usually sub for cat/cow stretches. Also seated twists (
wist.html) and the pigeon pose (
yoga-pigeon-pose.html). It's not that I enjoy yoga but my back feels so much better when I am make a habit of it.

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EUPHRATES 9/3/2011 11:33PM


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BRIAEL 9/3/2011 3:50PM

    You say you don't know when the pain is too much or the wrong type of pain, yet you stop during Zumba. That kinda tells me that you identify when there's an issue and then consciously decide whether to keep going through the pain or not.

The only thing you can do is modify exercises where you do feel pain rather than muscle stretch, or ask your CC to take you through the range of motion that you actually do as part of your workouts and identify which he thinks are particularly risky and how you could lessen the pressure on them.

It's a tough place to be in for sure, but even if you have to modify your exercises you're still going to be doing them, aren't you? Can't keep a good woman down! :)

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    You can do this! emoticon

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LUCYVT 9/3/2011 1:30PM

    emoticon emoticon
emoticon hang in there. There is a lot of days lately that I want to just throw in the towel, but I can't.

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CAROLYNINJOY1 9/3/2011 12:37PM

    Trapped between a rock & a hard sore spot is something that is part of my daily life. I worked through pain with stoical determination until at last my body betrayed me. My doctor's options were not happy had become a choice between sharks & alligators in terms of treatment.

So be careful in recognizing what & how much your body can take & stay in tune with that.

I'm grateful I can still walk, albeit with a rolling walker or using two canes. I keep telling myself I coulda, woulda, shoulda but what ifs are so useless.

Take care & move at your own pace. The 2.5 miles are still the same 2.5 miles whether walking, jogging, slogging or shuffling. Just keep moving & be in touch with your body to avoid hurting it more.

Gentle hugs & prayers. Injoy:) Carolyn


Have you thought of swimming or yoga? I can be dripping after a very slow moving tai chi work out. There are other options to running.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CRYSTLE4HIMTX10 9/3/2011 12:00PM


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MIQUEY73 9/3/2011 10:47AM

    Sorry you're in so much pain.

I know you can do this!

I have the same type of problem with the tilt and that sore spot in the small of my back. I've been living with it for over eight years (that I can remember!) and have gone to two different chiros. The second one worked on it...a lot. And it hurt. It did start to get better. Then I stopped going (couldn't afford it anymore). That was four years ago and I it feels bad again. I know I need to go back. I always thought I was the only one that had this pain.


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DORIS32 9/3/2011 10:40AM

    do what your doctor says, but keep at it however you can!

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MEMORIES7 9/3/2011 10:36AM


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Weekend Plans

Friday, September 02, 2011

YAY for the weekend! (For those that don't know, I work about 50 miles from my house and thanks to a wonderful former Governor who saw the gas prices being raised to extremely high numbers (can we say ridiculous?) he allowed those agencies that wanted to and could to offer 4-day work weeks. That means I work 10 hour shifts 4 days a week and get most of my Fridays off to take care of other things like doctor appointments, chores around the house, etc. Saves me 100 miles driving a week!)

So my plan for this weekend seems simple enough. Let's just hope I can get it all in.

0 Marinate the chicken! (Must remember to do this before I leave this AM)
0 Chiro appointment
0 Breakfast with the Hubs
0 Shopping for my son's birthday (and maybe for another sports bra and another pair of compression pants/shorts)
0 Weed the garden! (boy, does it need it! Poor neglected garden!)
0 Collect yummy veggies from the garden
0 ST workout
0 At least 30 minutes circuit or cross training
0 Make chicken and veggies for dinner tonight (I'm thinking roasted veggies including fingerling potatoes, asparagus, green peppers and tomatoes)
0 Take measurements for September (where did that pesky measuring tape run off to?)
0 Find my keys (seriously, they've been lost for weeks, y'all! MUST find my keys!)

0 OSU opener! YAY! (which I'll mostly be listening to b/c of the drive to...)
0 Ethan's game around 3pm
0 LDR of 2 miles (gonna give it another go! Wish me luck!)
0 Clean out some clothes from the closet
0 LSU game (I think that's what Hubs said we HAD to watch this weekend. *lol*)
0 Mow the lawn?
0 Meal and coupon plan for groceries for the week

0 Weigh-in
0 Mow the lawn if I didn't Saturday
0 Grab a paper
0 Couponing
0 Grocery shopping
0 Maybe some batch cooking for lunches for the week
0 Drive-in? (It's the last weekend *pouts* and they're showing Rise of the Planet of the Apes and Crazy Stupid Love. I want to see!!)
0 WVU opener
0 Call niece and wish her a Happy Birthday!
0 And send birthday love to my Zumba instructor too! :)

0 Morning run! (YAY! Love when I get week days of to do this!)
0 Hiking? (I would LOVE to hit the trails this weekend!)
0 ST will have to be done at the in laws since the gym is closed (BOO!!!)
0 Clothes sorting again
0 Enjoy my day off with the whole gang!

So that's the plan. Goals for this weekend are also simple:
- Finish out the week strong
- Follow the cardio and ST plans
- Get in some great family time
- Stay within my calorie ranges
- Budget for any big meals (breakfast today and the drive in Sunday)
- Drink my water! (I feel swollen today...huge workout night last night!)
- Have a happy heart (Gotta remember to keep encouraging myself along the way)

Yesterday went well. I worked my hiney off at work (actually, I totally wish I could do that!) and got an actual "Why can't our other workers be more like you?" from the supe! :) Then I hit the gym hard. Talked to my Zumba instructor and warned her that I'm still having back trouble so if I don't seem as responsive or don't show up as much (I've cut down to once a week) that's why. I stuck through 40 minutes of a crazy Zumba class (technical difficulties) and then did another 30-40 minutes of ST in the weight room. Cut my workout short by a couple things (didn't do my hyperextensions or my dumbbell curls) but we had done some toning during Zumba so my upper body is certainly feeling the workout today. (As I told Hubs, I figure if you're shaking/trembling while trying to get the toilet paper off the roll in the bathroom after your workout - I'd say you had a pretty good workout! *lol*)

Ate on the lower end of my calorie ranges (had a little trouble yesterday sticking to my eating schedule because of the crazy work horse attitude I had, but I still managed...thank goodness for Jimmy John's and their fast delivery!).
Drank all my water, plus some.
Sore and bloated today from a good workout and I'm thinking that ain't half bad. Hoping for some good results at weigh-in on Sunday.

Oh, and you can add to all my weekend lists above that I'm attempting to make my SP rounds this weekend. I missed checking in on y'all and I need to make sure I see how all my good friends, new and old, are hangin' in and whether they need some encouragement.

(Funny story...I actually spent about 5 minutes last night giving encouragement to my Zumba instructor. She was upset about how crazy our Zumba class was. When the short in her cord made her have to resort to old CDs of Zumba routines she had actually pretty much forgotten, she got a little flustered. My response? "At least we did it! We still got in 40 minutes of workout when we could've just said 'Screw it!' and not done it." She agreed. Then she got flustered because it was weigh-in night for her and she didn't lose anything. My response? "Hey, you didn't gain anything! Trust me, from a girl who yo-yoed the same 3 pounds for 5 months...a no gain week is a good thing!" Felt good to show some love to someone who has really helped me so much along the journey I've taken thus far. LOVE my Zumba instructor!)

Have a great long weekend everyone! Remember that weekend does not mean days off from healthy living. Just think, now you have MORE time to do what you want and ON YOUR OWN SCHEDULE! And Happy Birthday to those who are celebrating one this weekend (because I seem to know SO many!!)! :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWEETZMIX 9/3/2011 8:46AM

    OK you have a busy weekend planned. But sometimes it is better that way. And thanks for the reminder...more time to do what I want this weekend opposed to stuffing my face and drinking like crazy lol It's carnival in NYC, Labor Day weekend...lots of parties! But enjoy your weekend!

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HEALTH-E-CLARE 9/2/2011 3:29PM

    Mag's can't have RG, he's mine! Hope you can make it to the drive-in, sounds like some good moviue choices.

You've been doing amazing and are such an inspiration, always remember.

You sound super busy but have 4 days to get it done, and I have not doubt that you'll get it done.

Thanks for reminding me: Remember that weekend does not mean days off from healthy living. Just think, now you have MORE time to do what you want and ON YOUR OWN SCHEDULE.

Holiday festivities doesn't me those drinks and desserts have no calories either. I'm not sure why my brain shorts out on the weekends...

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RUSSELLORAMA 9/2/2011 1:03PM

    I had no idea you drove so far to work. That is dedication! :) Have an awesome weekend!

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MAGPIE17 9/2/2011 12:27PM

    Crazy Stupid Love = Ryan Gosling looking fine. Oh yes. I would watch that one over and over again. I would watch freeze frames. Definitely see it.

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ERIN1128 9/2/2011 12:11PM

    Sounds like a busy weekend, but you've got your priorities straight. Glad you were able to "pay it forward" with your zumba instructor!

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KKINNEA 9/2/2011 10:26AM

    Great stuff in here! Those roasted veggies sound so good - thanks for listing them because I'm terrible at putting things together even though I want to do better with healthy eating.

So cool you were able to encourage your instructor and I know you'll get those 2 miles this weekend!

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PHEFEY 9/2/2011 10:09AM

    Dinner tonight sounds awesome! Definitely see Planet of the Apes if you can, wicked good. And I'm hoping to get a hike in this weekend too.
Great goals. Have a great (super busy) holiday weekend!

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FROGGERHKC 9/2/2011 9:52AM

    Great goals! Hope you enjoy your weekend!!!!

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MSKITYOCAT 9/2/2011 7:54AM

  well good luck with all those plans. I hope you have them on a check off list. I would forget rather soon.LOL Blessings on your weekend

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August Recap/September Goals

Thursday, September 01, 2011

So it would seem that these are my stats for August (Man, I have not done this in a LONG time! *lol*)...

Weight 1st of August: 318
Weight 1st of September: 314
Total Weight Lost in August: 4 pounds!!

Total Weight Lost with SP: 102.2 pounds!
Total Weight Lost Overall: 152.6 pounds!

I cannot tell you how freakin' excited I am to finally have numbers like this to report to you all. It's so amazing that I would be so happy over a 4 pound lost month, but any pounds lost in a month was something I couldn't look forward to before.

Want some irony? Yesterday morning, my scale died. Just up and died with no warning whatsoever. Now, remember, I've had this thing since 2004/2005 when I finally broke down and got my own scale so I could weigh at home. I had to replace it once right after I got it, but that one has been kickin' ever since. Not a bad life for a scale, methinks. Especially one I've actually traveled with! (Don't make fun! ;) )

So yesterday morning, when my scale is being completely non-responsive and I'm replacing batteries like a mad woman and still nothing, I'll admit it - I lost it. It was like losing a friend. I actually had to mourn the loss of my scale for a little while. It was a rough morning yesterday morning... After work, I decided I needed a replacement. I have a weigh-in on Sunday and I'll be darned if I miss one now when it's finally responding positively again! I need that thing to stay on track, as much as I don't want to say I do, I need it right now! So I skipped my workout last night to shop for a scale. (I also skipped it because my back was screaming and I made a deal with myself last week that if I needed an extra rest day, Wednesday was going to be it.) So I drive myself to Walmart and shop through the scales and finally found one for 35 bucks that I'm trying now to get used to.

This scale weighs body fat, hydration levels, bmi, you know, the whole thing (though I doubt it is as accurate as the one at the gym, it's still a little better to have a vague idea of this stuff). What's better, it logs and stores my weights and tells me right there how much I'm up or down from the previous weigh in. (NICE! It does the math for me! :)) So I get it home, still a little apprehensive because, well, what if it weighs me higher than my trusty old scale? What if it says I'm 320? I might die...seriously. I was terrified that would happen! (Am I the only one who has this anxiety when I weigh on other scales?)

So I open 'er up, set myself as user one, set my goal as 230 pounds, set my height as 5'7.5, which I'm finally letting the doctor convince me of (I still think I'm 5'8 but whatever...), and I take a big breath before stepping on. 313.6! HA! I *LOVE* my new scale!! (I had a slow eating day yesterday and consumed a lot of calories at dinner, so it's not all that surprising that I gained a few ounces overnight.)

There are some cons to this scale --
1. It's really sensitive so if I move at all (I have troubles standing/sitting still) it likes to give me an error reading and I have to try again. (I'm especially drowsy, therefore wobbly in the morning...)

2. The biggest problem is that it doesn't talk to me. My old scale announced the number aloud. Sure, that might be embarrasing for some, but for me, I learned when to turn it off and the kids got used to knowing what my numbers were and giving me congrats without me even saying a word. Plus, I may have lost over 100 pounds now, but I still have CSMT syndrome. (Can't See My Toes) And because of con #1, I can't maneuver myself to see it. This morning I nearly missed my reading because I looked down too late! GRR! I'll figure it out somehow, but it was a little wonky this morning.

So that's what's new in Esther-land. Still working hard on my goals. Yesterday I skipped my workout but drank all my water and was within my calorie and other nutrition ranges (even if I was on the high end). I'm feeling good, feeling more sure of myself...and each time I see a new lower number on the scale I'm hopeful again. 14 more pounds to go and I'll meet some of y'all in Deuceland! I haven't been that small in like TEN YEARS!

August was a great month because I finally had the breakthrough I needed to have mentally (mostly thanks to some great friends and a lot of time reflecting) and that led to the scale breakthrough I've been fighting for since April! I'm going to use this success to lead me into September!

Goals for September:
1. Stick to the ST workout. I've already completed a full week and a half and I CAN stick with this! I need to show myself I can stick with something for 12 weeks!

2. Run those 2 darn miles! Or run myself ragged trying...

3. Stay within my calorie ranges. And if I have an "off" or "high" meal or day, let it go and get right back at it with the next meal or day. I can control this!

4. Drink my water! Lord knows I need it! And my scale will tell me now if I'm not getting it!

5. Do whatever stretches or exercises CC asks me to! I can't believe the improvements. The pain and soreness is still there, but each time I go I can tell things are changing. Got another appointment tomorrow and scheduled for appointments all month.

6. Celebrate my oldest son's birthday in a special way without involving food! I'd love to do something active with him next weekend to celebrate his big day. (Can you believe I'll be the parent of a 12 year old?! EEP!) Still working on the plan...

And for the first time in a long time, I'm going to set a monthly weight loss goal! I think it's time. I'm going to be reasonable and say I'd like to shed 5-6 pounds this month (though I'd still be thrilled with the next 4 pounds...just as long as we keep moving in the right direction!).

Weight September 1st: 314.0
Goal for October 1st: 308.0
Total Loss Goal of: 6 pounds

(Just one more quick note before I go, too. Work has been SUPER SUPER busy so if you don't see me here, that's because I have like ZERO time to poke my head in and say hi. (I'm actually supposed to be eating my lunch right now...) I'll try to carve out time every weekend morning to check in, though! See y'all tomorrow morning! ;) )

Here we go again! Halfway through week 1 of part 3 and still goin' strong!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ABB698 9/2/2011 2:47AM

    emoticonMonth and emoticonfor being to walk into WalMart and buy a scale, especially one that LOVES you back! emoticon

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ALYSSA40 9/1/2011 11:28PM

    You are doing a wonderful job and you should be proud. I can't wait to make a show of my numbers over ten pounds! Keep going and keep me inspired!

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SARAWALKS 9/1/2011 8:00PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
Dare to set those goals! YOU CAN YOU CAN YOU CAN!
I've been gone a bit too, but thanks for the goodie, it's always great to hear from you!
Have a totally emoticon September!

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CRYSTLE4HIMTX10 9/1/2011 6:33PM

    I am so happy for you. emoticon I understand about the scales. It is always scary getting new ones.

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MIQUEY73 9/1/2011 6:22PM

    emoticon emoticon

Darn work always gets in the way. It does for me too. Hope it eases up for you soon!

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ERIN1128 9/1/2011 4:21PM

    LOVE that you have outlasted your scale! You go, girl!

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    Woohoo! emoticon

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CHLOEGRACE1 9/1/2011 3:38PM

    Way to go! And thank you for being so positive; it makes the rest of us positive. I enjoyed reading your blog. I have never taken a scale on vacation (the airlines has a 50 pound weight limit) but I did consider it! Having that scale seems to keep me on task. emoticon

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DONNYBELLE 9/1/2011 3:19PM

    you rock!

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KAYOTIC 9/1/2011 1:14PM

    emoticonGreat job on the 4 lbs, and good luck with the new scale! To be honest, I 've brought my scale on vacation before, I bet we're not the only ones on Spark that have!

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KKINNEA 9/1/2011 12:54PM

    Great job!! Glad the new scale agrees with the old - it's the worst when you feel like you have to start over.

Great goals for this month - who knows, you may get to Deuceland early! Congrats on your successes!

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Part 3: Day 1 - Recap and Thanks!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

So yesterday I set out to start part 3 of this incredible journey of creating myself. And I was scared from second one. I was scared I would disappoint everyone and disappoint myself. I was scared because I woke up tired and not feeling so well and I wanted to go back to bed...and that's never a good way to start anything. I was scared of failing. But I know from my months of experience that I can only give it a good go if I push past my fears and do it anyway.

Fear is a good thing at times. It keeps us alert. Keeps us safe by letting us know we are in danger. Sometimes fear tells us that the person on the bus with us is a shady character and we need to be on alert and careful. Sometimes fear tells us that if we take another step toward the edge of the cliff we just might fall off. But sometimes fear just tells us that what's around the next bend might be difficult...and that's okay. Difficult is doable, especially if you have the right reasons for doing it. And I did. So I continued.

I mumbled through the day. I couldn't finish my Green Machine drink because my tummy was upset, but I kept pushing and drank a lot of water. On my lunch break, all I wanted was a chicken salad sandwich from the market, so instead of hopping in my car, I laced up my sneakers and walked the 1/2 mile there to get my treat (and found my favorite stuffed red pepper soup too!!). By the time I returned, I was already feeling a little better. The fresh air and sunshine were helping both my body and my mood...and I'm sure the walk didn't hurt either. Plus, I kept reminding myself, "Look! Already a mile in today, so if you wimp out tonight it's not a complete loss."

But I didn't wimp out. I drove to the gym without thinking twice. It was on the to-do list and I was going to-do it! ;)

Last night was the challenge night. It's probably best I get this out of the way every Monday because it makes me strong for the week. See, Mondays right now are Legs ST AND a follow-up run. Last time, it didn't go so well. My legs were jello after lifting and I could barely walk and my running was laughable at best. But by toughing it out, I realized it was I tried it again last night...with much better results.

My workout:
2 sets of 15 freehand jump squats as warmup
3 sets of Plie Dumbbell Squats (reps/weight: 15/20 - 15/25 - 15/30)
3 sets of Narrow Stance Leg Press (reps/weight: 12/320 - 15/320 - 15/340)
3 sets of Dumbbell Lunges (reps/weight: 15/20 - 15/25 - 12/30)
3 sets of Leg Curls (reps/weight: 15/70 - 15/80 - 10/90)
3 sets of 20 Calf Raises (weight: 20 - 25 - 30)

(For those wondering, I'm following a Muscle Building plan from Jamie Eason on If you need a good lifting/ST resource is excellent. They provide the workouts for your goals and they even give you videos to show you how they're done.)

I stretched out and headed upstairs to run on the indoor track. I've been afraid to run on the treadmill following my ST because I don't know how well I'll keep a steady pace. I need to be able to slow down when needed and walk when needed because I'm just building my stamina for Monday Leg Days. The goal, as always, is to do 20 minutes - walk 5, run 10, walk 5. I walked the first 1/4 of a mile and then set off running. (Okay, you all do realize when I say "running" I mean "jogging," right? I mean my run pace sometimes hits the 12 minute mile range, but not usually.) 1/4 mile later, I needed a walk break. It took about 5-6 times around the track to get 1/4 mile, and I walked a little under 1 lap before I started running again. I ran a little past the 3/4 mile marker and then I felt that old familiar "I gotta go" feeling (my tummy HAD been upset all day!) so I walked it out a little bit and then headed downstairs to the locker room (just in time!). In the end, I didn't hit my goal, but I got MUCH closer this time (and if not for the needed potty break, I would've hit it, I know that!).

Total time: 15 minutes
Total distance: .91 miles

I didn't hit my time goal (20 minutes) or my distance goal (1 mile), but just knowing I could feels pretty darn good.

After my workout and a good stretch, I headed home to make my now famous (in my house anyway! *lol*) Stir Fry Pad Thai! (It's basically ground chicken, red and green peppers, onions, mushrooms and some rice vermicelli noodles with a pad thai sauce and some fish and sesame oils. It's makes super big servings that are super filling!...and my youngest will not eat it! *lol*)

So after a long day, I took a breather on the couch, drank another full 16 ounces of water and reflected on another successful day. Way to start Part 3, Esther! Way to go! This will be awesome to build upon!

Day 1 is in the bag, as they say.
Calories - within range.
Water - MORE than 8 glasses!
Stregth Training - DONE and with increased weights on some!
Run - Much better than last Monday's
And an extra walk to boot!

And I have to thank all my new friends and old for all the support that carried me through the day! The outpouring of support over my 100 Pounds Lost with SP blog has been wonderfully overwhelming! You have all made me feel not so alone and that I have people in my corner again. I think I even picked up a few new great supports for me through awesome people who will inspire me to continue! Thank you, thank you, thank you for the support and encouragement! I'm so excited about the next part of my journey because I learned so much from this last portion of it! (I spent this morning planning a fun, active, healthy Thanksgiving with my sister! She's looking in to Turkey Trots for the weekend and I'm looking into some healthy alternative recipes for our Thanksgiving dinner! We're such a cool, fit, happier family now! Another bonus to this difficult year has been that my sister and I are working on rebuilding us. We've never been all that close, but we're starting to respect and appreciate each other, and in that to consider one another. So, yes, I gained a lot while I lost those 100 pounds!)

Now on to day 2.
Plan for the day?
Work hard and get some things done here.
Stay within my ranges.
Drink more than 8 glasses of water.
Chiropractor at 5:30pm.
Strength for tonight is "Push"!
Zumba if I'm not too sore from the Chiro - elliptical if I just don't think I can do it.
A good long stretch after, before, and during my workout.
And then homemade Shrimp Fried Rice for dinner (as per the youngest's request).

And I'll leave you with the Runner's World quote of the day that actually made me LOL:

"Your body will argue that there is no justifiable reason to continue. Your only recourse is to call on your spirit, which fortunately functions independently of logic." - Tim Noakes, author of Lore of Running

Amen, Mr. Noakes. Amen!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HARMONYBLUE 8/31/2011 11:51PM

    Sounds like you are really pushing yourself. You felt disappointment, had setbacks, but did not stray from the path. I read your 100 lb lost blog and wanted to say congrats. I can't wait to be able to write that blog!

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NRLARA 8/31/2011 10:33PM

    Love the quote :)

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BOMBSHELLBEAN 8/31/2011 10:10PM

    I am so happy for you. I am so impressed with everything you have already accomplished. emoticon for the inspiration.

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WISHICOULDFLY 8/31/2011 9:17PM

    I'm taking notes. You got the winning formula girl! emoticon

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CHANGING4ME49 8/31/2011 8:06PM

    Looks like you had an emoticonday. Good for you!! Wishing you much success on Part 3. emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/31/2011 8:07:25 PM

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SPARKLISE 8/31/2011 2:20PM

    emoticon blog!
emoticon start on part 3!
And I love the quote from the running room! emoticon
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HEALTH-E-CLARE 8/31/2011 9:26AM

    LOVE... Stage 3 has nothing on you!

As for Turkey Trots... will you be over this way. Cincinnati has a great 10k, that has runners, walkers, and people of all ages. I try to go every year, but last year it was freezing rain!!!

Hope the Chiro went well and that you could get in some Zumba!

Comment edited on: 8/31/2011 9:27:36 AM

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PATTILYNN224 8/31/2011 9:20AM

    WooHoo! Yipee for you!!

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ABB698 8/30/2011 7:28PM

    What a great day you made out of what could have easily been different. You persevered! WOO HOO! That's great this journey has brought you and your sister closer and has positively impacted the entire family! We did the healthy Thanksgiving last year too. We camp in the desert, so it was nice to not do all that work out there, we had a ground turkey, brown rice and veggie casserole, so we still had our turkey, starch and veggies, but all in one easy, healthy spoonful! No after feeling of I'm so stuffed, how are we going to work off all those calories?! Yay Then we walked hot laps around camp to work off our dinner and make room for a taste of healthy desserts! See, this journey can be fun! That's what inspired me to keep going, I've really enjoyed every step of the way. Sure, we all have bad choice days, etc, but feeling strong and healthy every day is such an amazing feeling, and WE ARE WORTH IT! Spark on Girl!

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GFREERUNNER 8/30/2011 1:13PM

    You had an amazing day! I cannot believe you run after doing legs!!!! I run the day after and even then I feel like I am dragging to big pieces of lead across the ground! It just shows how strong you are becoming :)

Way to go for pressing through. Like I said on my other comment, you are teaching me something today, and giving me a swift kick in the butt!!!


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FROGGERHKC 8/30/2011 10:04AM

    Awesome blog! Way to push through when you weren't feelin' it!

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PHEFEY 8/30/2011 9:32AM

    Sounds like you had an awesome day! You are such an inspiration to me...thank you for posting!

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ALYSSA40 8/30/2011 9:05AM

    LOOK AT YOU! You are really doing it and it sounds like even with the drag, you pushed right through. I'm so happy for you but I hope that more than anything: You're happy with yourself. Keep up the great job! emoticon

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