Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Before I say anything else, let me say that this goes on record as one of the BEST vacations I have ever had...even if a little too short. ;)
The drive was almost uneventful. Hubs and I got into a fight on our way into Virginia. Let me explain...Hubs and I have been together since we were about 13 years old...and sometimes we still act like children. While going through one of the tunnels through the mountains, the boys and I attempted to hold our breath all the way through, and Hubs decided to be silly and roll his window up and down and up and down to make me laugh...and as I tried not to laugh I was gasping for breath and trying to not take one and then I grabbed what I thought was the front of his shirt to try to motion him to stop but ended up pulling some skin and hair on his chest. Oops! So, yes we both acted like children and then we decided to start fighting about it at the rest stop wherein I (tired as I already was) started crying and he walked off and then I ended up in the bathroom with no TP...it wasn't looking good. And then I walked back outside to the car, and Hubs met me halfway and apologized and we hugged and I cried a couple more tears and we said we loved each other and THAT set the tone for the rest of our trip.
Somehow we were more forgiving, more thoughtful of one another. We fought one other time but only for a few seconds and we made up right after and then he apologized again some time later. I can't explain how we've both become such different people in a year, and, yes, I absolutely think this journey I have taken has something to do with it. I've helped encourage a more active family. I've encouraged them to take risks and let go and be free and respect each other. And Hubs has taught me a lot this year about how we don't always get what we want, and that's okay, but that patience will win out eventually and that it's okay to go for what you want and still not get it because it's all about the trying and doing and attempting to be that builds the character of a person. And my kids have taught me that exercise and being active can be fun, and that sometimes it's okay to be a little impatient because it can push you toward what you want that much quicker and with a little more drive. And somehow, those few short days in Myrtle Beach showed me how we've all come full-circle in a year. I kept comparing this trip to the one last March, both comparing myself and our reactions to one another and our attitudes and I was just proud and amazed and in complete love with who we have become together. And that's what I'll most take away from this weekend.
Now for the rest. :)
Saturday - the long drive. I slept some, but not much. We got caught behind a wreck in SC just an hour and half or so from our destination and were stuck for about 40 minutes longer than we should have been. (NOTED CHANGE) When we checked into our villa it was about 6pm and I immediately unpacked everyone. We had very little time to enjoy this vacation, and I wanted everything to go smoothly without digging through suitcases and bags for things. (Before, I would want to eat or sit down and rest before doing anything...or explore. I've learned priorities - about setting yourself up for success by taking time to make preparations that will help later, even if it delays gratification.) We set up the internet (which took a while and I eventually had to do a hard reboot to get the modem to work) and I made a spaghetti dinner while prepping a grocery list of the necessary items for the weekend. We made a quick trip to the store to get the items we needed (and, yes, I did coupon - they doubled up to .99!! *lol*). And then we rushed back to our villa to hop in the pool around 9pm. Before the night was over, Ethan and I sneaked out in the car to find the closest beach access - and ran onto the beach in the dark and had a ball for a few minutes with our feet lapped by the waves.
Sunday morning I woke up around 7am. (What is it with me and waking up at 7am now? CHANGE NOTED - my exercise and activity levels now regulate a lot of my sleep patterns. I have less difficulty falling asleep and I tend to wake up a lot easier.) It was Father's Day, so I immediately got to work making the Hubs eggs, bacon and toast - his favorite breakfast. I brought it to him in bed and it was just what he needed to wake him up bright and early! We got our swim stuff on again and headed straight for the beach. (CHANGE NOTED - I always back a bag of snacks and drinks and such for the beach...but the bag keeps getting smaller, and used less. The first beach trip no one touched a single snack. In fact, of our 3 beach trips, only once did Hubs reach in for munchies.)
I got into the water...and then I got in more...and then you couldn't stop me! For those of you that don't know, I have spent the past 5-6 years trying to conquer my fear of the ocean and ocean waves. When I was 6 or so there was an unfortunate incident involving me on a beach in Florida while my mom took a picture, my sister holding my hand, and then suddenly not holding my hand, a wave clipping my little legs out from under me and me swallowing so much salt water it made me sick and I thought I was going to drown until someone swooped me up. I remember very little from when I was little - but I remember that...and it has terrified me ever since. So each year I go in a little bit more. I had made it to my waist last year, but it was still super scary for me. Every wave that crashed I thought was going to be the one to take me out - and even the smell of the salt water so close made me gag. This year, I have no clue what came over me. Maybe it was the fact that I've conquered so many fears already that I felt a little invincible, but in I went, and for over an hour I swam in the waves, rode them back to shore, swam back out into them, barely touching the bottom, even with Hubs telling me I was going out too far! An hour later, after we emerged from the best ocean experience ever because we all enjoyed it together, I looked at Hubs and said, "Well I guess I got over THAT fear."
Hubs and I...Wish I could quickly pull out a comparison photo but it's on my other computer. Will have to do that later.
This is a girl with a healthy respect for the power of the ocean, not a paralyzing fear of it.
Logan is growing up TOO fast! He was checking out chicks in bikinis!! And reporting on their hotness factor. *face/palm*
We came out all happy and hungry and headed to the villa to change. I had been telling Hubs that he owed me on dinner or lunch out, and this was to be the lunch (perfect for Father's Day too...yeah, I didn't think of that so I did end up paying for it). We tried to go to our favorite sushi/hibachi at Broadway at the Beach, but they didn't open until dinner. We tried another Indo/Jap/Thai place, but they had DOLPHIN on the menu (no friggin' lie...is that legal??) so we left after he brought our waters and before we ordered. We finally ended up at the Chinese buffet next to the Giant Crab (which didn't open until 1pm..*sigh*). It ended up being a great "oops!" choice. The food was pretty good. Sushi on a buffet always = YES! for me. And they had a "choose your own" hibachi grill wherein you picked the veggies and meats and rice or noodles you want, hand the guy the plate and he cooks it up for you. YUM YUM YUM! And all for 12 bucks each (which SOUNDS expensive but really it'll cost you more than that for just 1 hibachi dinner anywhere, even here in Charleston!).
And then after that? I napped. *lol* Felt amazing! But after THAT... Well, we tried the indoor pool at the villa but it was COLD...so we went back to the beach.
And THIS is what you get in the HOT SC sun when you forget to reapply every 20 minutes and you have red hair and very fair skin and you go to the beach twice in one day and stay in the water the whole time...
And by that time we'd worked up yet another appetite, and someone mentioned pizza and we ended up here:
Where we had a Mighty Meaty pizza. (OMG the applewood smoked bacon MADE this pizza...and I dare anyone to eat more than 2 slices because it was SOO filling. I had one and then a bit of the House Calzone.)
House calzone - tomatoes, spinach, mushrooms and LOTS of mozzarella cheese!
And, least I forget, Shock Top Raspberry beer which smelled all fruity but DID NOT taste it - just tasted smooth and great with ZERO aftertaste or bite. I actually finished mine before Hubs did his (he's always commenting how SLOW I drink...in fact, everyone is always commenting on that! *lol*).
Oh, and...yes, I couponed Sunday morning on vacation. *snort*
Monday was the day of my big run...and I think I need an entire other blog to talk about that amazing experience. LOVED it! After the run, I showered, and then had a bath. *lol* No one was up, and I had brought my bath salts on a whim, so I used them for my aching joints and muscles and soaked for a bit while everyone started rolling out of bed. Then we had breakfast and were off again.
I took the boys to the 2nd st/ave pier while (I thought, at least) Hubs got some work done (he actually ended up sleeping! *lol*).
Look at the face Logan is giving me! *lol*
And then I took them UNDER the pier (something I've always wanted to do!)...
Talked to a man under there about the lighting and natural (kinda) framing and how beautiful it was only to find out that I'd been talking all smart-like with a studio photographer. Here I am talking about this artsy crap while I shoot with my little iPhone and he whips out the huge DSLR with the long lens and I feel like a dolt...and mostly feel like I want one and I wonder if he'd let me shoot a couple pictures with it. Just made me feel even more that I need to nurture this passion in the proper manner (that means saving up for a proper camera).
The boys and I, completely soaked, headed back to the villa to pick up Hubs and head back to the beach with some body boards we had bought to ride waves with. SO FUN! Only not fun thing? Sand in your dang bathing suit ...ITCHY! Do you guys have this problem? It was only itching in the water but OMG it would NOT stop itching! I've never been out there much to notice but by the end of it I was in tears from it. WTF is the deal and is there a way to stop it?
I made us some amazing chicken with rice and broccoli and green peppers for dinner (no pics) and then we went to Broadway at the Beach to walk around and (more importantly) feed the CRAZY fish there! We ended up getting ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery which Ethan and I trashed quite early but Logan and Hubs TRIED to finish (but eventually failed as well! *lol*) and I looked at some Nikes in Rack Room Shoes (but didn't buy). Finally, back to the villa and we hit the outdoor pool one more time before the night was up and I went back to the villa to pack up the place and clean.
And by yesterday morning at 9am we were on the road and returning home. And somehow my grumpy attitude returned as soon as we hit the WV border. *sigh*
I miss the ocean already, but I feel blessed to have had this time. We kept commenting on how it had been our shortest ever and yet we'd done so much and had so much fun and found great staples to add to our regular yearly trips (which WILL be happening EVERY year!) - like Mellow Mushroom and the Sushi...I mean, Chinese buffet and riding the waves and feeding the fishies at Broadway at the Beach! I still feel more and more like I belong closer to the beach for some reason. I know a lot of people feel that way, but I've got this huge pull in me and I wish more than anything I could move out there full-time or at least get a second place there. *sigh* Home away from home...
* ate like crap some of the time.
* stuck to my running workouts and ran faster than ever.
* felt amazing.
* napped both days.
* took care of me and took care of family.
* had a blast.
* swam, swam, swam.
* got over my fear of the ocean.
All in all, I'd say that was a pretty darn good weekend. :)
Saturday, June 18, 2011
This morning we are leaving for the beach, and I'm completely stoked, if not a little bit tired from staying up late to pack. ;) I'm looking forward to walks on the beach, runs on the beach, a fitness center I can use at the property, running shoes that are packed and ready for W4D3, and tons of other little adventures on the way.
As far as the scale goes, I've been holding steady all week around 321 (I wanted a measurement before I left). I can tell you right now that my eating has not been the best, but I've been trying to keep moving to make up for it - and it seems to be working. With trying to quit smoking and all that goes with that, I can't say I'm surprised...usually moody and hungry follow whenever I try to break the habit.
Yesterday's run was both difficult and amazing. I could tell as I was getting my Nike + GPS feedback that I was going faster than last time and I ended up covering 1.89 miles in my run, which felt great. Almost to the 2 mile mark, nearly 2 miles 3 times a week...that feels like perfect prep for that August 5k I hope to run (though I'm still super scared of that first big hill wiping me out for the rest of the race).
As I ran yesterday, I kept certain mantras in my head. I told myself that my legs were strong and my body light. I told myself, "I don't care how slow you go or if it doesn't even look like running - you WILL NOT STOP!" And it worked. On both of the 3 minute runs I felt like I could go longer. As for the 5 minute runs? Not so much. *lol* But I wasn't dying in them, I wasn't begging for an end (okay, maybe in the last 30 seconds of the last 5 minute run! *lol*). I was pushing forward, proud, and glad to be back working toward a goal I've kept with me, secretly tucked away, my entire life.
I must say that I still get nervous with every single run. I am hoping that goes away eventually, but that little ghost whispering of my previous injury and how it held me back keeps haunting me. I keep telling myself, "Since then you've lost weight. Since then you've gained strength throughout your body. You've been prepping yourself for this. YOU CAN DO THIS!" So far so good... ;)
So as I head down to the place where all the thinking about "I think it's time to get this weight off once and for all" began, I'm pretty proud that I've made it this far. Yes, I still have a long ways to go - but there is no finish line, there is only miles ahead of me, track that remains to be covered, lessons to be learned along the way, and that still same feeling of slow, but steady, progress toward my goals.
Who would've thought I would ever be the kind of person who thought, "I MUST run. It is a part of my essence to know that I can, to be able to, and to feel that feeling of flying each and every day of my life and whenever I choose to pull it out and use it." Who wouldn't thought it? Me, that's who. I always wanted to be the kind of person that got up and ran 5 miles every morning...secretly I always wanted that for myself...even if I never told anyone about it before. For me, running isn't about getting those pounds off me or making the fat melt away, it's about fulfilling a dream I never told anyone about - to be the person I always wanted to be. When we're coming into adulthood, we start thinking that we are who we are, and we can't change that. It wasn't until a few years ago that I realized, I can shape the person I am and what I do. And with each step I run, I'm doing just that.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
So week 1 of my restart had its good moments and its bad moments. As of today I am 323 pounds...still. Which means I lost nothing, but also that I gained nothing this week. So how'd this all work out for me?
1) I finished week 3 of C25k on Monday. I had planned all day to run, and then at the last minute discovered the kids were at G'mas so Hubs and I had a quick "date night" wherein we went out to eat some Chinese food. When we got home later, I struggled over whether to still try for my run or not, but I finally just got up, put on my running clothes and headed out the door. 30 minutes and 1.75 miles later, C25k Week 3 was done, plus some. I had one exhilarating moment in my first 3 minute running segment where I felt like a runner again instead of a faker or fraud and I ended my cool down with a shimmy and shake and felt good about my progress.
2) I made two serious attempts to kick the smoking habit. For serious, it's been hard and the emotions that come up when I'm trying to stop are brutal, but I've gotten so close that I now know that I CAN do this. It's probably one reason why my weight has remained steady. Today will be serious attempt #3. Third times a charm, right?
3) On my weekend trip to Columbus, my mini-vacation, I ate more sensibly than I have ever done on a trip like this. I questioned my 'hunger' pains and questioned my best choices. 9 times out of 10, I made the right choices. So even though there were cinnamon rolls and pizza, I still feel like I win this week because I'm getting closer again to complete control.
4) I found the dress for the wedding. What's more - it was a size 20 instead of the old 26 standby (and before I started here, dresses in that style in a size 26 may or may not have fit me at all). I feel good about that and happy that I was able to bust my butt enough this past year to get where I am now. I told Mom on Saturday, "Do you know the last time I was in a size 20? I think it was junior high!"
The Not So Good
1) I never started 30DS. I made workouts happen when I could, but I've left ST on the back burner this week so I could refocus. But I think that's part of a good restart. Not being perfect, but building those good building blocks again, little by little.
2) Again, I didn't lose any weight this week. But I didn't gain either. Yesterday was a super hard day. I've been super-charged emotional all week but yesterday, after eating a lot of my feelings, I had a heart to heart with Hubs and explained that I'm in a not so good place right now and I need someone to listen to me about that because I'm feeling ignored by those closest to me. He listened, hugged me hard, explained he didn't know I had been feeling that way and tried to make a go at figuring out how to break me out of this slump I'm in.
So, yeah. It was a difficult week full of ups and downs. I'm taking it one step at a time. People keep saying, "You're doing great!" and I'm trying not to come back with, "Really, I'm not." I'm trying to be more positive and focused.
I can't tell you right now what this week will hold for me. We're planning a bit of a road trip this weekend but we're not sure yet where that will take us. I'm going to try to remain conscious of my goals, conscious of what I'm eating, what I should be eating, my calorie counts for each day, and my workouts.
As far as running is concerned. I get nervous and scared every single running day (like today). I checked the history on my C25k app and realized that mid-December I ran W4D1 and then had to quit there. So if I get past today and run again on Friday, I'll have made it further than I ever have before. And while that's exciting, it's also scary. Am I ready? Can I do this? One foot in front of the other, I'm going to try.
Today I will run. Tomorrow I will walk at lunch, because tomorrow is the Sara Bareilles/Sugarland concert. Friday I will run again, and then, this weekend? Who knows. Hiking maybe. Maybe walking a lot at King's Island. Maybe playing some paintball. Whatever is in store, I hope it's a healthy, active week of fun activities that helps me get my mind right again.
On to week 2!
EDIT: By "difficult" I mean that this has been an emotionally difficult week for me full of mixed emotions and that has translated to the off-and-on status I've had with my journey.
Monday, June 13, 2011
First of all, right out the gate I must say - I was PROUD of myself this weekend.
Friday morning I got up earlier than my alarm (around 7:30am). I started my day with some coffee, 1/2 a bagel, and some Spark before heading out for my run around 8am. The run went easier this time. Note, I did NOT say "easy" but I did say "easier" because while I'm still feeling the weight of lugging around this many extra pounds with something as difficult as running, I was able to finish, and even did a little extra running on top of that (during the cool down, and then extended my cool down to make up for it) because I just wasn't done yet. It has been an interesting process of figuring out my body and how it works and moves. Only real discomfort was a tensing up of my right shoulder, which I tried to shake out and didn't so much notice any tensing of those muscles by me, but whatever. I survived. ;) I went back to my old running shoes and I'm not sure if that helped or not. Basically, I feel like I need new shoes, period...but I cannot afford it yet, so until then I'll make do with what I have the best I can.
Week 3, Day 2 DONE! (Yes, I stole from Mama! ;) )
I hurried home, stretched out, ate a quick piece of toast with peanut butter, showered and dressed in record time as AM showed up just as I was finishing my makeup. *lol* The boys ran out to meet her and before long we had the car packed and were off on our grand dress-shopping adventure.
Two hours later we met my mother in Chillicothe to drop off the kids and part ways until later, well...and to have some lunch. We ended up at Bob Evans and I got myself a lunch portion size of this spaghetti dish with spinach and tomatoes, no sauce, and a bit of cheese sprinkled on top with a side salad to start. It was a super healthy option and I was proud. (It's funny, it seems the only time I can eat pasta without feeling guilty is either before or after a run...I've read too many "carb-load" stories in running magazines, me thinks!)
After that? A trip to Tim Horton's, as is our custom. Instead of chowing on something crazy, though, I ordered my medium mocha capp and then got FIVE Timbits. FIVE! HA! I've never eaten less than 10 of those things in a sitting before. Stupid balls of sugery evil goodness! But I ordered 5 so I wouldn't have 10 to eat. And you know what? It took me ALL DAY to eat them. I ate one at Tim Horton's and then stuffed the bag in my purse and nibbled on it now and again throughout the day when I wanted something sweet. To me, that's a sweet victory! ;)
We started our shopping adventure at Easton in Columbus. Huge mall. Tons of stores. We found nothing. Well, that's not true. We found a great deal on stuff at Bath & Body Works, and then I found a shirt at the Gap (reg. 20 bucks, marked down to 6!...it's a goal shirt as it's a little tight right now). Oh, and then AM found some dark denim shorts she was keeping an eye out, and some MAC makeup for a coworker. So yeah, everything but a dress, try as we might. There seemed to be nothing. We were there for hours and I was sore and exhausted by the time we headed out (around 6pm or so)...and went back to my mom's house empty handed. Good thing I had made a Plan B!
Confession time? I had pizza that night. I can't get Donato's here and both AM and I *LOVE* Donato's, so it often tends to work out that we get Donato's pizza when we're up in Columbus together (she even took a pic to send her brother to taunt him with! *lol*). Turns out my mom loves their pizza too, but never gets it b/c my step-dad doesn't care for it.
But I WAS good earlier in the day. I realized I needed something to eat in between our shopping as I was fading fast. We went into California Pizza Kitchen, and while I tried a bite or two of AM's Chicken Club Pizza (strange!) I got myself a "small cravings" portion of their Meditteranean Plate, which had 1 pita bread cut in triangles, some hummus, a greek salad, and a couple chunks of feta cheese.
A good, healthy snack option...and I usually suck at those both on the weekends, and usually worse when on "vacation"...I think I did well.
Saturday morning I ended up waking up at 6:30am. And, no, I don't know why. *lol* I ran into town for underwear (I swear I always forget SOMETHING when I go to my Mom's house. I've even gone so far as to actually leave shampoo, conditioner and body wash at her house because I always forget them! *lol*) and then took a shower and ate a quick slice of toast with reduced-fat peanut butter. A little bit later, my Mom made me an omelet that my sister has been making which includes: olive oil, egg whites or egg subsitute, spinach, celery, garlic salt, and a bit of feta cheese on top. YUM! :)
AM and I headed out to the Dayton Mall, which I had researched and found out had a LOT of the stores we shop at and at which we might find a dress.
We got there at 10:30am with not so much hope in finding something. Our hopes fading with each store... *sigh* In the first store, Deb, I got the crazy idea to snap a picture of something I thought was truly hideous and send it to our friend to pretend we were wearing ungodly things to her wedding. *snicker*
The caption? "I found it!!!"
I joked to AM that she'd probably try to be nice and lie and say it was beautiful. And later she did just that! *lol* I figured if we were going to put ourselves through the process of trying on dresses (something I generally HATE) we were at least going to have some fun while doing it.
Deb was a joke.
Macy's was a bust...even AM had trouble finding her size! (And I couldn't find anything over a size 16.)
Torrid failed me miserably. I didn't want to pay 70 bucks for jeans even though my Torrid jeans from the Minnesota trip are now too big, but the only 22's they had on clearance were "jeggings" which are the joke of fat girls everywhere, me thinks. The girl asked why I didn't like them and I told her, "Jeans are supposed to HIDE that part of me, not accentuate it!" (If I wanted to show off my still ugly legs I'd wear shorts or a dress and be much more comfortable!) The only upside to the Torrid fitting was realizing that I'm not as big as I thought I was. When I went to MN I bought size 26 jeans. I tried a dress on at Torrid, just KNOWING it wouldn't fit because it was a 20...and it fit (just not the right way...I didn't feel comfortable with it).
After Torrid and Macy's I was feeling pretty miserable...and AM didn't look much better. And then, magically and out of nowhere, a Cinnabon appeared before us. (It did! I swear!!!) ;) It's another AM and I tradition when we can get to it because we don't have them here. Still, I was better than ever and ordered a minibon instead of a full cinnabon classic. And I left with my cup of coffee feeling like I'd won. I had had my cake...err...cinnamon roll...and ate it too.
We walked over to JC Penny's with renewed vigor and upon descending the escalator to the 1st floor, we found a little row of dresses tucked out of the way. It was there that we realized they had some styles both in regular and plus sizes. AM grabbed a size 8, I grabbed the biggest size I could find - a 20 (again, sure it wouldn't fit me). We turned a corner again and found TONS ...and I mean TONS of dresses...racks and racks, all on sale. I went through and grabbed anything that met our standards. Short, green/blue, and that would fit. I found a green dress that I wanted to fit me badly, but they only had it in a 16 (which fit...it was stretchy...but didn't look that great on me). AM came out and showed me the first dress we had found with a smile on her face. We looked at each other and said, "Wouldn't it be weird if mine fit too?" So I followed her to the dressing room with about 10 dresses to her 2 *lol* and I tried on the same dress in my size 20, sure I wouldn't make it past the girls.
It did! It fit! We had found the SAME dress in both our sizes and they looked good on both of us. We're calling it the Sisterhood of the Traveling Dress.
(My legs seriously need a tanning bed or spray tan or something!)
It's funny. On the way to Columbus on Friday, we had a talk with Sarah (the bride) on the phone and told her that everything would find a way of working itself out. (She's having the panic, "Oh crap am I really doing this?" and "I don't have ANYTHING ready for this wedding!" thing..) Looks like it worked itself out for us as well! Sarah liked the dresses we picked, and she picked a similar one the same day, all the way on the West coast, for the groom's cousin who will be an attendant at the wedding! It sounds meant to be.
We like these. They're not overly formal, so we actually can wear them again. I've got room to shrink a bit and just have the dress fit better instead of (as usual when I shrink) my boobage showing too much. We don't need specialty bras to wear them and they should be light enough fabric-wise so we don't die in the July Utah heat!
There was the whole incident of the dress falling off the hanger while I was shopping at the Sephora counter and my coffee spilling on it, me freaking out and trying to pay for it quick so I could soak it, and then the sales clerk insisting upon just getting me a new untainted dress from their stock. Somehow all that worked out too and I'm still a little in shock over how that happened. They were amazing to me! I kept saying, "But *I* did it! I don't want this to be someone else's problem!" And they told me it was fine and they pulled a new dress and all was well. :)
Best part? Dress was 80 bucks, but with the mega sale they were having, and a $10 off coupon at the register, it was 21 bucks! SCORE! How many people can say they paid 21 bucks for a bridesmaid dress? :)
Another pic from the trip for you:
I bought this shirt in January at the Grand Canyon. It's a size XL and it BARELY fit me when I got it. Now it fits well and I LOVE it. (The back says GO HIKE A CANYON!) :)
So even though yesterday was a crapshoot with parenting issues and a screaming match between the kids, the kids and me, me and hubs (everything fell apart yesterday!)...the weekend has to be scored in the GOOD column. I laughed a LOT with AM. We got along well. We're good at keeping each other in check diet-wise without being over-bearing or judgmental and having a bit of sweet here and there while trying to make up for it with healthy choices later. My mom and I talked a lot and got along really well and she even thanked me for the Donato's pizza (and it felt good to buy HER dinner for once!). We got the dress so that stress is over (but now I'm concerned with paying for the flight, booking hotels, car rentals maybe, oh! and shoes! *lol*).
I walked a TON, so even though I didn't get any dedicated workout in after my run Friday, I feel pretty good about the weekend. And I peeked yesterday and the scale has me back to 321 with a bit of bloat still from the road tripping (which I hope drops off by Wednesday... *chugs more water*). I'd like to try to be under 300 before this wedding next month, but I know that could be impossible, so the main goal is to just be under 100 pounds lost so I can proudly announce that number to my friend when she asks. I want to feel good about myself in both Vegas and Utah and I want to have the energy and stamina built up to deal with all the duties I'll likely put on myself to make a great time for my awesome friends.
Here's to good weekends!
Thursday, June 09, 2011
So, am I all talk and no action? Sometimes, yes. Yesterday? No.
I got stickers on my page for:
Take 10-15 min Yoga Break
Find new Yoga Move and TRY IT!
Drink 8 glasses of water or more.
Log EVERY bit of food.
C25k W3D1 (sorta)
Clean at least 20 minutes
But is there room for improvement? HELL YES!
I took off early from work and left here at 2pm to head to the gym. All was going well until I discovered that I had forgotten to pack my sports bra in my gym bag. *sigh* There was NO WAY I was running in my regular bra (Hubs joked about black eyes). So I went home, taking a quick detour at the sports store for new inserts for my shoes.
Went home, started picking up and cleaned the living room for about 20 minutes. Fit my inserts into my shoes. Found my sports bra. Grabbed 1/2 a bagel with some cream cheese. And then sat there and stupid words came out of my mouth... "I want a meatball sub." *smacks forehead*
It's okay, I told myself later. Today (well, yesterday now) was just about being honest with myself again. So I was honest. I ate a CRAPTON of food. I stuffed myself beyond full. I felt horrible after physically, but refused to let the mental demons beat me up. And instead of going straight home to slip into a food coma after - I convinced Hubs to drop me off at the Riverfront Park, where I attempted W3D1 of C25k yet again.
And I swear I would have made it through if not for...
A) The food I ate, that kept trying to come back up. UGH!
B) 87 degrees with high humidity.
C) no water breaks.
D) two stupid track teen superstars that I swear I wanted to trip.
As it was, I finally had to stop about 1/4 of the way through the last running stint because ...well, because I wasn't getting enough oxygen to my lungs and body, I was swelling up super fast and I was feeling quite faint.
What I learned last night?
1) Eating crap food does not help fuel a positive workout experience.
2) Don't forget your stupid water bottle. I'm seriously considering one of those fuel belt things because the heat and humidity is just stupid this year and summer hasn't even started yet!
3) I HATE my shoes. I told Hubs that I think in winter they were fine. I bought the darn things because they hugged my feet a bit, but I bought them in January, and now that the swelling from the heat and humidity is coming out, hugging has turned into suffocating. My feet HURT as they fill up the entire area of the toe box and then squeeze together. This does not make for a good running experience. The inserts didn't help because they really aren't the issue - the issue is that my feet swell up and become too big for my shoes. I'm going to try to hit up a running store this weekend. *sigh* (that was my checkbook sighing)
4) Even though I've been away from the running game and C25k for MONTHS (although, mind you, I haven't been completely away from running as I've been working it back in in my own way the past couple weeks), I was just about ready to finish W3D1. As I expected, I don't need to start at the beginning. I need to prep myself better for the weather, maybe wait until after 7pm to run (I ran around 5:30pm = still really hot out), and maybe find a shadier place. Or *gulp* I need to get up early to run before the sun gets too hot. Still, I'm proud I did so well, even if I scared Hubs with my gagging and near yakking following that last running segment.
5) Oh yea! And, most importantly ...the time to stop smoking is NOW! I have half a pack left, which I'm trying to make last. Ethan has hid the rest of my carton so that after that I will have to ask my own child for a stupid smoke. (Sounds like horrible parenting, right?! I'm hoping that will keep me from asking too much, if at all.) Hopefully in a few weeks I'll be free of it completely.
So, that was yesterday. And all I am focused on today is continuing my honesty and trying to improve just a bit over yesterday's performance.
Each morning I plan out my "perfect day" - I write out all the goals I would like to meet, and if I did meet, I would go to bed extremely pleased with myself. Today's goals are:
* Take a 10-15 min yoga break
* Learn one new yoga move
* Incorporate new moves from this week
* Drink 8 glasses or more of water
* Stay between 1700-2000 calories
* Zumba class - 7pm
* (if cancelled, elliptical and rowing machine tonight)
* Make tofu stir fry and rice for dinner
* Clean for at least 20 minutes tonight
* Do laundry and pack for this weekend
* Get to bed by 10:30pm so I can get up early for my run tomorrow
Yesterday I hit most of my goals. I did, however, overeat entirely too much. I'm still struggling with how to deal with the heat and humidity, which sounds ridiculous, but when the only way you dealt with it in the past was to stay indoors and don't move too much, you have to learn how to incorporate movement into your daily routine that is filled with HEAT and HUMIDITY. (Remember, as much as I hate to admit and rarely act like it, I still weigh 320 pounds here. Too much insulation for running in 90 degree weather, yo!)
BUT - I ran, even though I didn't want to. I drank my water, cleaned, and did my yoga.
Yesterday's new yoga move?
I can't get my elbow to my knee because my stomach gets in the way, but I was super impressed with how well and for how long I could hold a squat. Hello strong legs! Nice to meet you!
A day at a time. Always learning.
Here's to an even better today!
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