Monday, May 23, 2011
Hey, you! Yes, YOU, Miss I'm Too Good for Rules and Plans and Action.
You think lazing around on your butt all day eating hot dogs and pretending like it's okay because you skipped lunch is going to help you out of this mess? Come on! You know better than that!
You think putting in the minimal amount of effort and hoping to see the maximum results is a miracle worth waiting for?
Well, I have something to tell you. Stop your whining and get it done!
I can't baby you through this one. I can't hold your hand and tell you that it's okay, because it's not.
Harder than you ever thought it was.
Even though you've been here before, you somehow forgot the challenge you face.
The first 80 pounds were easy and you fought pretty well for the 90-mark.
But the 100 mark and beyond?
It requires blood, sweat, and tears to get to that point.
Not because you don't deserve it, but because you haven't earned it yet.
You've taken the easy road whenever you could.
You've gotten by by the skin of your teeth.
You hovered in the "just barely there" category and, yes, it worked for a while.
But moving on from here you have 2 options ahead of you.
1. Quit. Give up and just be happy you made it this far yet again. Forget how much you wanted more and just be good with what you got. Decide that you aren't worth the time and effort and give up now. Abandon all hope. Throw in the towel. Call the game on account of rain.
2. Fight harder.
And from these two results you will get one of two things.
1. The feeling that you did something, but the constant wonder if you could have done more.
2. The realization of every dream you've ever had - built from hours in the gym, hips shaked at Zumba, miles walked, run, and almost crawled, steps taken on the elliptical, pounds lifted - minutes, hours, and days spent earning your sweat.
I know you haven't felt like it lately, but I want you to know that there is hope.
There is a chance of moving on from here.
You CAN do more - you've been fooling yourself by telling yourself you can't.
You have more to give.
...and if you want to realize your dreams, it's time to start giving without worrying about the reward. It's time to just buckle down and put in the effort.
You keep telling yourself, "But I can't be PERFECT!" because you've forgotten how good it feels to strive for YOUR version of perfection.
Yes, you're right, you cannot be someone else's ideal of perfection.
And, yes, you're also right that you cannot do whatever someone else does.
But WHY would you want to?
You are a valuable, unique individual.
You have rare and unique gifts and talents.
You share some talents with others, but it's your own special blend or brew of those talents together that make you who you are.
And there isn't another one out there exactly like you.
So, no, don't strive for society's version of "perfection." Society doesn't know you or even care enough - they're too worried about themselves to care.
Strive for YOUR perfection.
And realize that your perfection will change.
Today you may not be able to do this, that or the other.
But with training behind you - hard work and discipline - you can strive toward a higher level of perfection.
Today perfection might be 1/4 of a mile run at the fastest pace you've ever run in your life.
Tomorrow, it might be 1/2 a mile.
One day it could be a 5k, 10k, 20k, marathon. But that's not what's important.
What's important is today's perfection.
What can you do TODAY?
- Use your "lunch" break as a source of exercise.
You sit on your butt all day. You're fully able and allowed to eat at your desk at any point during the day, but those 45 minutes given to you are given freely, without restrictions on what you must do with that time. Make it YOUR time. Go for a run! Get out there and do SOMETHING! Or have a peaceful 45 minutes in your locked away corner doing yoga. Whatever you do, don't waste that precious time on things you can do throughout the rest of your 10 hour day. Don't you remember how much you HATE wasting time?! Well then STOP DOING IT!
- Eat like you know you should.
You've logged your meals and snacks for the day. It is more than enough food. Cravings are simply the little devil in your head trying to talk you out of your perfection. Don't deny your body's real hunger by giving into false cravings. Food should not be a comfort in your life, but a source of fuel to fuel those hours you get to spend with a smile on your face - hiking, running, walking in the sunshine, hitting new goals, achieving new heights to your perfection.
- Hydrate yourself.
Unlike some people you know, you LOVE water. It's like life's blood to you. You can easily finish off a half gallon or more a day without even thinking about it. What's more, it makes your body feel right. You just simply FEEL better when you allow yourself one of the only things in this country that remains free (if you know where to look). You know that replacing it with anything else is not a proper substitution, because it only makes your body crave MORE water. So drink, up sister! Throw a little umbrella in that ice cold drinkity-drink and slurp it down like it's happy hour at the beach. YUM!
- Follow the plan.
You've got a great gym plan set up. You know what works. You're trying new things too! Plus, you have your old stand-bys back now that your back is healed. Don't forget how humiliated you felt by your injury. Do NOT take these moments of ability for granted, because you know what it's like when you're left without. Savor it! Enjoy it! Love every single minute of it! Get your body into shape and the rest will follow naturally.
See! You have a plan. It's all right there in black and white. There's no denying it now.
But I have to remind you that it is not going to be as simple as writing it down.
It's going to take work.
You might hate it sometimes.
You might want to cry or kick or scream.
It doesn't matter.
Cry your way through it and onto the tears of joy.
Scream out of pain until the screeching is from pride.
Kick like a toddler until you grow into a strong woman who can kick @ss!
I can't baby you through this one, but I can tell you one thing.
It may not be easy - but it will be worth it.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
I didn't take any pictures, but I've yanked a couple from my instructor, Ashley's photo album. We had 153 people register for the Zumbathon and raised $3,364.80 for the American Cancer Society as part of Relay for Life. Our Relay for Life event doesn't end until June 3rd, so the total amount will eventually be higher, especially with our silent auction items.
I arrived to the field about 15 minutes early and got through the registration line quickly because I had preregistered. I didn't win a door prize, but I did remember to bring my can of food for donation. I didn't bid on any of the silent auctions either because I'm really trying hard to save as much money as possible. Even though there were a few things I would like to have, none of it struck me as necessary.
BTW - I was wearing black stretch capris and a blue and white striped tank, was in the back right corner from the instructor's POV.
I was intimidated when I got there...it's been SO long. Before I got halfway to the group I noticed a couple girls that were with me at the Master's Class in Charleston. They waved and I waved and it was like no time had passed at all. I made a beeline for them - PEOPLE I KNOW!! *lol* Before I got there I heard my name. One of my neighbors (we rural people use this term loosely...she lives about 2 miles away, but we pass each others houses all the time) and former Avon lady called my name. I paid her the $2.50 I had for a vinyl decal in a dark pink that says, "Fight like a girl!" LOVES IT!
I was fine being in the back because I knew most of these people were old classmates from my former Zumba class. Plus, as much as I wanted to go through all 2 hours without a problem, I knew it had been a while and I might be rusty.
HA! What I didn't expect was soreness in my back after song 2 or 3. I didn't expect to feel totally beat and my calves already cramping up at the 30 minute mark. I didn't expect to have to feel like I was back in class 2, modifying the crap out of everything so as to not further tweak my back.
I didn't expect to feel like a newb like that. I felt all my old insecurities come back, worried that people would look at me and think, "She can't even do anything because she's so fat and out of shape!" And then I heard the voices of the Spark multitude telling me to shut my negative trap. Who cared what ANYONE thought? Who cared at all? Was it better to stay out of shape and fat and go home in order to hide from the fear of embarrassment, or chance it all and stay and workout and get better and have 2 hours of Zumba under my belt for my return?
There were 2 scheduled breaks. I took several more. I tried to stretch in between songs. During breaks I did my PT stretches (press-ups) and that seemed to really help for a song or two before the pain returned. I did the best I could.
When the calves cramped at the 30 minute mark, I grabbed a banana and ate half. I ate the other half some time later.
At our first break I turned to my Zumba friends and said, "This is more difficult than any 5k, 7k or 10k I have ever done!!" Then I retracted..."Okay, maybe not the 10k!" *lol* It may sound silly to some, but the two hours of Zumba I did last night felt like MY half-marathon. I had to keep telling myself to "Keep Going! Rest when you need to, but get right back in. Protect your injury, but don't quit. JUST FINISH."
That's Me! *lol*
I felt it EVERYWHERE. My back, my legs, my hips. Jumping was a problem now and again, but not as bad as the twisting of the hips. I could actually feel the pain targeted in my back this time, so I know where the disc problem is now, I think. I tried to keep my posture good. I tried not to twist to hard. I felt like I wasn't doing enough, but I knew if I just kept moving it would be better than I had done in more than a month.
A few of my other classmates, who we found on the other side of the field a bit into the Zumbathon. LOVE them! :)
I went through my entire 32 oz bottle of water AND a 20 oz water. Thank goodness the instructors thought to bring granola bars, bananas and water for all of us! LIFE SAVERS!!
Unfortunately I learned that my instructor has begun adding a slew of new songs to the class playlist. She only brought 2 that I knew and none of my favorites. *pouts* Me and my girls kept chanting, "Shots and Gangsta!" ...our 2 favorites. (We found out later that Shots was actually on the playlist, but somehow didn't transfer over to Ashley's phone when she was transferring everything the night before. I told her that it better be on the playlist for when I come back to class!! *lol*)
I did my best and am proud to say that I stayed the entire 2 hours. I felt sore and achy and in a lot of pain afterward, but the girls next to me noted that they were feeling it as well so I didn't feel too bad. In our small Zumba classroom, we don't have a lot of room to move around, so when they were taking us across the field and back 10 yards or more at a time, we could totally feel it in our legs, especially our calves!!
My girls both asked if I was alright. I explained why I hadn't been to class in a while and explained that I had JUST been cleared for Zumba again. They understood and kept an eye on me and never once thought I was a slacker for stopping now and again. I totally love this Zumba group!! At one point, Ashley was standing in front of me and saw the wincing and concern on my face during some difficult moves. She mouthed, "Are you okay?" and I told her I would be fine. It's nice to feel the love and concern. I know she understands because she's been in and out of surgery for her feet and has had to come back with modified moves until she could go back full-force again. I didn't feel pressured to overperform and injure myself again.
As the sun set, the bugs came out. Stupid mosquitoes! I swatted and sweated and kept moving and by the time it was over I felt more than ready for some water, a granola bar, and a LOT of ice on my back. (My Zumba girls agreed with the icing thing and said they were going home to "lick their wounds" as well! *lol*)
I celebrated with a couple slices of pizza and then got restless and we went to the store late to walk around. *lol* I kept thinking, "Why do I want to walk around WalMart after 2 hours of Zumba?! Why do I keep going?" But I can't help it. I'm restless nowadays. I need activity and motion, even if the motion is slow-going, which I was at Walmart! *lol* I fell asleep on the couch when we came back, and then finally transferred to the bedroom at some point.
This morning? I'm sore, but not in any real pain. I'm not sure if I'll be running today, but I certainly think a walk is in order to stretch out these muscles. Maybe even a game of volleyball since the sun is out and it's beautiful (that's IF the Hubs feels up to it...he's not been feeling well). I'll get restless soon, I know, and then I'll be out enjoying the sun. We've talked about maybe going to see the new Pirates movie tonight, or going to Parkersburg to get Logan some sandals for $1 at Old Navy. We've talked about running and playing at the park. We've talked about shopping for our vegetable plants today so I can get those plants in the ground and eagerly await fresh tomatoes and zucchini and eggplant (maybe) and peppers. Whatever happens, I probably won't be home very much today. I hear the sun calling me and I plan on answering eventually. :)
If last night's Zumbathon taught me anything, it taught me:
1) I am stronger than I give myself credit for.
2) People aren't constantly thinking bad about me because they likely have other things on their mind.
3) People care about me - especially my Spark Friends and my Zumba Family.
4) I'm ready to go back, but I have to take it easy!
5) I'm a force of nature and someone to be reckoned with. I fully intend to FIGHT LIKE A GIRL!
One final note. In all these pictures except one (in which I look pregnant as I was standing with my stomach forward, trying to stretch my back *lol*) I don't mind how I look. I'm actually a little proud of how I look now. :)
Friday, May 20, 2011
Zumba. You've heard the talk and I know you're thinking that this is just the next Tae Bo, or let's go back even more - the next Sweatin' to the Oldies (yes, I did that). But let's just lay down the doubt and see what Zumba really is, and what it has to offer.
"Zumba is an aerobic fitness program created by Miami-based dancer and choreographer Beto Perez and two entrepreneurs, Alberto Perlman and Alberto Aghion. It originated in Colombia in the 1990s and is taught by some 20,000 instructors in 35 countries."
Source: wikipedia, of course ;)
But..what IS Zumba??
"zumba - combines Latin and international music in dance routines featuring aerobic and fitness interval training done to a combination of fast and slow rhythms."
So, Zumba is dancing?
Alright, I hear your excuses...let's get those out of the way right now.
I can't dance! I have two left feet.
Oh, come on. You know it isn't about dance skill. This is a fitness class before anything else. The dancing is just the fun part to it. There are more than a few people in my class that I would be embarrassed to take to a nightclub with me. People of every age group and ability have crossed my Zumba path. Sure, some steps are difficult, but if you don't get them - who cares? There is no dance recital. You are not on stage to perform. You are not being judged or critiqued for your ability, or lack thereof. And, added bonus? Zumba can actually help make you a better dancer if you're only just adequate to start with. Yes, I have popped out with Zumba moves out on the dance floor of clubs, one in Vegas while on vacation...and there is plenty of booty shaking in the car!
Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. Besides, there are no strikes in Zumba. :)
But I don't like Latin music.
Yes, Zumba has its roots in Latin music, and you will get a few salsa lessons during class without even realizing it. But many of the instructors I have come across use popular songs and make up appropriate routines to them. I can't even tell you how fun it is to dance to Thriller every October, or to hear many of the songs you hear in class on the radio later (hence the booty shaking in the car). There is a wide mix of different music being played, a lot of different dance styles. Ironically, my favorite are the "Bollywood" type routines. No clue why, but that music just makes me want to shake my hips and pound it like no other.
...fat is often used here, but other excuses pop up too. Old? Uncoordinated? What's the excuse you're sticking to today? In my small classroom we have people of every shape and size, male and female, ages from 10 to 70. There is no target audience beyond people who want to get active, stay fit, and/or lose weight...and have fun doing it.
I have bad knees/back/hips, etc.
Okay, first I have to say - talk to your doctor. I would never tell you to go against doctor's orders (and with my recent sidelining from Zumba because of a back problem, I certainly understand)...but you have to ask yourself - are you making those excuses or is there really something physically that keeps you from doing it? My instructor has broken her foot and had multiple surgeries on it, and she's still there as soon as she gets an all clear to go back. When I started, my knees were crap and I tried to do everything they did and I popped out my knee in my first half hour. But there is one word you need to know, learn, and love -- MODIFY. You can modify any part of a Zumba routine. When I went back after my first session, in order to protect my knee I did not jump, turn, twist my knees in any way that might exacerbate my problem. No one looked at me funny, and I learned that I wasn't the only one modifying. In fact, it's encouraged. The point is not to get hurt, the point is to have fun and stay fit. Rule #3 from my first instructor -- "When all else fails, just shake it." "Shake WHAT?" I asked her. "ANYTHING!" Keep moving in whatever way you can.
I need to mention something else. A couple months ago I got to see a woman in action whose lower body keeps her from Zumbaing to the extent you see most people. She is actually an instructor, and a famous one at that. How can she teach Zumba? She does it from a wheeled chair, moving about the room, putting 110% effort into every upper body move she can do without injuring herself further. (Google Diane Felkenes from Ohio)
It's too expensive!
With the outflow of new Zumba instructors popping up everywhere, prices vary for classes. The one in my town is 3 measly bucks per class. Look around and find the right priced class for you. OR....there are Zumba DVDs and Zumba games now (try the one on Kinect...I want to!!) that you can do from the comfort of your home. Still aren't sure? Try a YouTube video.
It won't work for me. or... It isn't enough of a workout.
My Zumba instructor and I talk about this ALL the time. Zumba gives what you put into it. I'm not stupid enough to think it will work for everyone, but I know anyone can try it. The skinniest person in our class (seriously, she's tiny) competed with me in an "inches lost" competition last year. We all joked that we'd do hers by inches gained (hopefully from muscle) because we couldn't see her getting ANY smaller. The woman (one of the oldest in our class, btw) actually LOST an inch in the two month contest. We were surprised, but not completely shocked. If you need more of a workout, there are modifications you can do to make each move MORE difficult. Sit deeper in squats, turn, twist more, shake your hips harder. It's all about how much energy you expend moving your body.
So, I know the big question is -- why am I writing this? Yes, I love Zumba. It has helped me lose the almost 100 pounds I've lost since April. More than that, it's like a family.
Tonight I will be doing the Zumbathon to benefit the American Cancer Society. Groups of Zumba instructors will be on hand so we can all get a taste of the different styles around. A local popular morning show radio DJ is going to be DJing our event. It's going to be 2 blissful hours of laughter, dance, fun and shakin' our thangs! Too often I hear people's fears about joining in on things like Zumba, and it makes me sad...because it could be just another weapon in your arsenal of "get fit" activities...if you just give it a try. For people in WV - come to Ripley HS tonight before 7pm and pay the 25$ donation fee and see what it's all about. If you don't like it, you can leave early and not feel bad because your donation will still go to a great cause. (Oh, and bring a canned good! -- I MUST remember to do this!)
Tonight will be my triumphant return to Zumba after weeks away. I'm nervous I've lost all of my ability...but I know how to make adjustments. I get to see my very own Zumba instructor up there, as well as my former Zumba instructor too!
I was nervous I wouldn't get the go ahead from my PT to do this tonight. But now that I'm clear to go? I cannot wait!! For the love of Zumba, I'M BACK!!! :)
Source: our Zumbathon instructors! :)
Monday, May 16, 2011
I arrived late this morning for my PT appointment. Like 20 minutes late. I felt awful but getting up this morning was a real chore (not surprising that I'm not feeling well AT ALL today). Still, they told me to go on back. As soon as I saw Mike I walked right over to his now beaming face, "How do you feel?" he asked. I hadn't seen him last week as he had been out on Monday, so it had been two weeks since our last meeting, and in between that time and this one, something had changed.
"Better," I said. I told him about my back popping horribly on a Wednesday or Thursday morning week before last. I told him that Saturday I had run pain-free (all the while hoping he wouldn't scold me for even trying as I explained that I had hiked for a long time first and hadn't felt any pain so I thought I'd try). His smile just got bigger and bigger and he said, "I thought you were walking better."
I hadn't noticed I'd been walking off. I try to hide it every time I have pain because I don't want people to see the fat girl limping or having any difficulty walking and think that it's just because I'm fat and can't walk. (Man, I live too much in other people's heads, don't I?) Apparently the PT knew...and he saw a change. I stood up straighter and thought about it. He was right, I felt better and the walk over to him hadn't hurt at all.
I went through my 5 minutes on the treadmill. I did my 30 wall squats. I did my 10 back extensions. Then he tested out the true nature of my "healing" by having me pull my knees into my chest 10 times on each side. Pressure? Yes. Pain? No. I couldn't stop smiling.
"I think this will be your last visit," he told me. He credited me for all the work I had done, faithfully following through on my homework PT stretches. Making an effort every time I was there to be honest about my pain. He told me I had "cured" myself and he felt proud and happy that he didn't have to manipulate my back to get it there. And I felt proud too.
Before I left, after my 15 minute ice and electro therapy session, he asked if I had any questions. I did!
1. How did this happen? Do we know? And/or how can I keep it from happening again?
He called me a creep! *lol* Naw, he said they call it a "creep" and then immediately said, "I'm not calling YOU a creep though!" and smiled. Basically he thinks over time (weeks, months, years even), a disc in my back started creeping out. And then BAM! the pain came. He explained that I could keep it in check my making sure my posture was good as much as possible, by doing back extension stretches any time I had been sitting or otherwise had been lingering with bad curved posture for any length of time. He said to keep doing my press-ups for a month or so, and then whenever or ifever the pain returned or started to feel stiff, to do those again because *I* had all the tools now to correct this problem and readjust my back.
2. I told him that I wanted to start running again, that I didn't want to go crazy and go right back to 3 times a week right out of the gate because I knew I wasn't completely out of the woods, but I asked if he thought it would be alright to do it once a week for a while until I felt better.
He smiled his big smile again and told me he thought that would be fine. He seemed proud that I knew not to go right back to full-on running all the time. (Hey, I've learned a thing or two here at Spark.)
Finally, he told me that the only way to keep this in check was, "to keep doing what you're doing now. Stay active, exercise. When you run, keep your posture in check, if it starts to fall, stop running. When you lift, lift with your legs, not your back." I can't tell you how good it feels to have someone recognize that *I*, all 318 pounds of me, am an ACTIVE person.
So, yes, we broke up. He threw out my electrode pads that went on my back once a week to send little tingles of shock into my back while I was on ice, but told me he was hanging onto my chart, just in case...at least for a little while.
And I feel like the answer was SO DANG SIMPLE! Seriously, 5 minute walk on treadmill, followed by 30 wall squats, followed by 10 back extensions, sometimes 10 chair extensions, then press-ups and (like any baby) belly time. We did that once a week for the past, what? four weeks. Then every day I would do 30 press-ups, the last 3 with belly sags, in 3 sets of 10. I've gotten into a habit of doing these in bed just before I go to sleep every night (and I actually think it helps me sleep). And now I have the tools so that if it DOES happen again, I'm not wandering aimlessly for months on end, complaining about the pain and how it's stopping me from doing everything I want to do and crying and basically wanting to quit. I know how to fix it. And if that fix doesn't work, I know who to call.
So, yep. My physical therapist broke up with me. But I'm not sad. This means I can run again on Saturday. It means I can Zumba on Friday night at the Relay for Life Zumbathon (as long as I get my instructor the paperwork and 20 bucks by tomorrow night! *lol*). It means I get to get a little of my life back!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Weight last week: 320.2
I saw that weight again yesterday morning when I hopped on the scale and I thought to myself, "What can I do to break through this?" The sun was shining outside. It was hot, but not too hot. Suddenly the thought came to me, "What if the lake is getting warmer?"
We have a lake at a state park that's about 30-40 minutes away up across the border in Ohio. It's a quiet park out in the boonies so we don't have a crapton of overcrowding to worry about. We haven't been since last summer, but I've already decided that my free weekends with sunshine will likely be spent there hiking, rowing, and swimming. So when it was so nice yesterday, I figured it was time to make the trek and see if the lake was warming up. The plan was: The Hupp Family Biathlon. Hiking the trails followed by a dip in the lake. The kids were excited, I convinced the Hubs, and we were out of the house by 1:30pm.
When Hubs asked why, I told him - "I'm hoping if I stay out the house, away from food, doing something active today I might, just MIGHT see 319 tomorrow. I NEED this." He understood and off we went, dressed partly in swimming gear, with our running shoes on and our sandals packed. I wore my bathing suit under my shirt and jean shorts and as soon as we got there we hit the Lake View Trail. Totally completed, the trail consists of 2.6 miles in a loop, but we never finish the loop appropriately, actually coming out into the campground and walking back on paved roads, which, it seems, lengthens our route.
Hiking started out great. I could tell how much I've changed from 1 and 2 summers ago by my pace, stamina, and willingness to tackle some of the more difficult parts of the trail. After a while we started hitting really serious challenges. From mud pits, to slippery rocks across streams that flow during high rains into the lake below. I had to take it slow and steady at times, worried about my knee still, but I tackled each one, the kids ahead of me, Hubs behind.
The first real challenge was a huge mud pit leading into one of these creek-flow type areas. There seemed no logical way around, so I started going through, sinking into the mud and sliding around. I tried going left and right, I tried everything I could think of. I was there for a good while trying to figure out which way to go, using a walking stick, using my hands - nothing worked. Finally, I told everyone to back up and said, "That's it, I'm just going for it." I was hoping only that if I fell it wouldn't break anything. I took one step and then another, not thinking about the slipping and sliding I was doing. I just kept going, and it felt a lot like skating. My balance kept me standing and eventually I reached the end and everyone cheered, high-fived, and laughed at my "mud skating" ability. New Olympic sport, y'all! *lol*
I got pricked by thorns and tried to avoid nettles. It seemed like nobody had used the trail for a while. Before long we came across fallen tree after fallen tree - each time I assessed the situation and found my way through, squeezing through, over, under, around. Each time I refused to let myself think it was impossible. I just kept thinking, "Just get over this...we're nearly there." Over an hour later, we found our way into the campgrounds just as the rain started to fall. (It had been thundering for a while when we were under the cover of trees.) Suddenly, and without warning to any of the boys, I took off on a jog. Catching downhills and straightaways, stopping before running up any hills because I know that can set off my injury worse than anything. I was surprised with how easily my body seemed to accept running after so long away. In the last part of the paved road out of the campground is a large, long downhill section and I figured I'd go until I felt I couldn't go anymore.
I ran, my shorts riding up, gauging my hip/back and how everything felt. What I felt was strength in my body, my legs pulsing and pushing me forward. I felt all the muscles I had been working so hard on during my lifting segments and felt the new power under the layers of fat still waiting to be gone. I felt power, strength, I found my stride. My breathing was hilarious to me as I found that relaxing my mouth helped me concentrate on my legs more. I was tired, but not exhausted...and before I knew it I had run down the entire hill. Sure, Hubs had been faster and got to the car first, but even he commented, "Man! I didn't know you'd be right behind me like that!"
It felt great. I was flushed all over. I was tired but could have continued if needed. I hopped in the car and grabbed the sandwiches I had packed for us and ate with that same feeling of, "Food tastes MUCH better when you earn it!" Everyone agreed. And when I got home, I didn't collapse on the couch. After breaking my already too big swimsuit, I decided to run to Wal-Mart and see what they had in the way of size 22/24 swimsuits. Somehow I got distracted from that section, but just the fact that I still had the energy to go was saying something.
I slept well last night.
Oh, and this experiment of only eating when hungry is working out quite well. I think more now about whether I really want/need something. "Am I really hungry?" I don't eat with a "Whatever! Nothing is working anyhow!" attitude like I was before. I eat because I'm hungry and my body tells me that. I don't limit what kind of food, only the amounts according to how hungry I am. I bought chips yesterday at the store and ended up intuitively eating 1 serving and sharing the rest with the Hubs. I had a bit of sweet tea from McDonald's and still shared with Hubs. I even had pizza for dinner last night. 2 pieces instead of 4. And when I got hungry again 4 hours later I went back for just 1 piece, not 3. I log so I know what's up, but I'm working really hard to just understand my body and what it wants.
Today I'm sore, but happy as heck, because when I weighed this morning, I got:
I went back to the bedroom and thanked Hubs for our 2-mile hike and run. Even though we never made it to the lake because of the thunderstorm, I felt encouraged by my progress and by the increased stamina I have. Last time I did this same route I did not run at all and I felt completely spent by the time we got back. Time time, I felt energized and in love with myself and my body.
I did eventually ice my back and knee (which did pop yesterday during a non running pavement segment) and that seemed to help the healing process. I'm sore today, but not injured. My knee doesn't even really hurt that bad.
Goal for today?
Batch cooking and laundry.
SP Starting Weight: 416.2
Current Weight: 318.6
Total lost with SP: 97.6
Highest Weight: 466.6
Current Weight: 318.6
Total Lost: 148 pounds! :)
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