Sunday, March 06, 2011
Weight Last Week: 325.8
Weight Goal for This Week: 323.8
Actual Weight This Week: 327.2
Weight Loss/Gain: + 1.4
I knew I wasn't going to be happy before I even got to facing the scale. I woke up all bloated and BLECH and knew my body was holding onto pounds instead of letting them go. It's partly my fault, and partly not.
Eating healthy went kinda out the window this weekend.
Friday included Shoney's breakfast, Arby's lunch, ice cream, and beer. And while I did go to the gym, I didn't get near enough cardio in (though I did a fair amount of walking around and climbing stairs that night...and did a tiny bit of dancing when I could or felt it. I felt I did well at breakfast, much better than I have in the past - but this still needs some work. Lunch? Well, let's just say I ate too much and it wasn't exactly great for me food. I did have ice cream, which my stomach informed me almost immediately was a BAD idea. *shudders* And I had one light beer at the concert. I did stay away from the pretzels and popcorn though, so that was good. And the concert was pretty good...well, until George Strait came on. Let's just say I'm not a fan. We left early, but I would've been happier leaving even earlier. *lol*
Saturday started with a healthy breakfast - egg beaters, a little 2% cheese and some turkey sausage. Then we walked around Jungle Jim's for about 2 hours. OMG! That place is insane. I ended up spending 70 bucks and got some great stuff: pitas approved by even my Lebanese friend *lol*, a huge thing of sea salt for 6 bucks!, some tomatillo salsa (YUM!), a bit of off the wall candy items for the boys, some Fu-ki plum wine (YUM!), Tahini paste (can't find that anywhere around here), and Chia seeds. For lunch we ate at my mother's favorite place, Mimi's Diner, where I let all of it go out the window for a buttermilk spice muffin, some quiche lorraine, and 2 small bites of mouse cake. I even brought some muffins home for the boys here. I didn't eat the rest of the night until I got home late and the boys and I went and had Mexican, where I couldn't seem to get enough food. *sigh* I guess I didn't really realize what was coming on...
What wasn't my fault:
TOM. #(*#$&! You see, I've been on depo for some time now, and I can never predict when or if I'll get a TOM anymore. I haven't had a serious TOM for a little while. Sometimes I get TOM for All of the Month or sometimes I get nothing. This time is started with spotting Friday, grew into full blown cramps yesterday, and today I got the wonderful bloat and UGH that is TOM. *sigh* HOPEFULLY it will only last a week. Hopefully once it leaves I'll see weight loss again. HOPEFULLY.
What also wasn't my fault was riding in a car for four hours Friday, and another 3 on Saturday. By the time we got home my butt was numb! I keep wondering how I'm going to survive the 16 hour drive here in 2 weeks and still lose weight, but I have a feeling I'll be doing some sort of mini exercises when I stop along the way, just to keep myself limber. And LOTS of water drinking.
Recap of my goals for the week:
Get back to the gym.
Monday I had to skip out dealing with car shopping nonsense, but by Tuesday I was hitting the gym again hard. Did my Zumba and my leg ST workout. Wednesday I doubled up on ST and only got 10 minutes of cardio in. (That will have to change.) Thursday I had the paper, but I did take a one and a half mile walk at lunch. Friday I did ST but no real cardio as I was hurrying to get home, pack and meet my friend for our drive up to Cinci. I did walk a lot in Cinci, including several flights of stairs into the concert and back out again. Saturday was that 2 hour walk around that enormous "grocery" store.
Back to calorie counting and logging
I did a great job of this through the week, but this weekend it all went out the window. I honestly don't want to see what my calorie counts were for these days, because I'm not going to like it, but I may go back and try to figure it out anyhow. *sigh*
Don't lose sight of my goals
I certainly didn't for the first part of the week. I did schedule another boxing lesson at the end of this month. I'm seriously considering Zumba this weekend. And I thought about this a lot this week. Last night it snowed. WTF?! I'm supposed to do 4.5 miles today but with the cramps and the snow, we'll have to see how that goes. I'm going to try to talk myself into it, but I don't know how well I'll do. *sigh*
Totally got this one. I'm averaging 12-15 glasses a day and peeing a lot of clear liquid by the end of the day, so I'm doing good on that one.
2/4 right? Maybe 2.5 out of 4. Not bad, but not where I could be. This week is going to be different.
Plan for the week:
Sunday - Convince myself to do that 4.5 mile walk. *sigh* I just know it's freezing outside, but I need to get used to that since my walk will be up north and likely just as cold. (I can't effin' believe it snowed last night! *GRRRR*) I need to watch what I eat and just be conscious. And I've already scheduled myself a bath with leg shaving and some other light pampering, which I hope I don't wimp out on. I need this time to myself...hope the boys cooperate.
Monday - We may be going down to get the car, which could eat into gym time again. GRR! Going to take a walk at lunch, just so I'm covered. Going to do some home ST at work just in case too.
Tuesday - Zumba and ST...maybe. I think my instructor had surgery last week, so I don't know if Zumba will be canceled or taught by someone else. Either way, unless we're at the dealership, I should be at the gym working out Tuesday night.
Wednesday - Shouldn't have any problems getting in 35 minutes of cardio and my ST for the day. Again, unless at the dealership (we're not sure when the car will be ready).
Thursday - Zumba and ST...maybe. Again, not sure if Zumba will be canceled or taught by someone else. Either way - 35-45 minutes of cardio and my ST should fit in.
Friday - I'm going to try to do an hour long cardio session on this day, with my ST thrown in before. I may have to skip out on breakfast and just go it alone...Hubs gets bored and wants to leave before I'm ready. Worse comes to worse, I take him with me, do my ST, and then go back after I drop him off to do my cardio.
Saturday - There are 2 Zumba classes in Charleston - one at 1pm and another at 6pm. I'd like to do the early one and AM said she might go as well. I'll have to make sure there is still room available.
Goals for the week.
Even out the ST with the Cardio.
For every minute of ST, there should be a minute of cardio - no exceptions. It should actually come out to more cardio than ST minutes at the end of the day. I may just start instituting walking lunches again now that the weather is improving, just to make sure I get my cardio in.
I had decided that March would include Yoga Sundays, so I need to get in 20 minutes of yoga today whether or not I convince myself of that 4.5 mile walk. MUST YOGA 20 MINUTES!
I need to do at least 30 minutes of boxing this week. I don't care if it's shadow boxing or hitting the bag at the gym. I need to practice so each time I'm with CT I get better. Just as musicians need to practice outside of band class, I need to practice my boxing as well.
Stop eating out!
Ugh! It's been awful lately. I need to limit myself to 2 times per week or less. Make healthy things at home. Make my lunches or fall back on frozen dinners. I'll save money that way too!
I'm going to keep up this 12-15 glasses of water a day. It's good for my body and keeps me away from bad foods and keeps me focused, for the most part.
Finally, I MUST log everything. MUST LOG. MUST LOG. MUST LOG. I can worry about how to do this on my own later...I need to get back to it so I can be the success story you read about someone losing 200 pounds, going from 466 to 266. I can't do that if I don't pay close attention and make it work for myself.
Weight Goal for the week? Honestly I'd love to see a number I haven't seen yet - 324. I'd be happy to just get back my 325, but I'd be overjoyed if I could see 324.
I'll be honest. With this week, I almost feel like I squandered it away - like I lost a week. But if I think back to who I was when this started and who I am now, I'm a much different person. I choose the stairs over the elevator now. I think about how many calories I've had, how much I've eaten, I ask myself if I'm really hungry and if I'm now full. I think consciously about these things because I used to be a woman living in the moment and enjoying everything that came to me without a second thought - now I'm the woman who wants to enjoy now and LATER. And I know the only way to enjoy later is to not feel guilty about missed opportunities to make myself a healthier person.
Concert Adventure done.
Next Adventure - Solo Road Trip and an Uncertain 7K Journey.
Friday, March 04, 2011
...both off my cardio game and off for another adventure. Had to cut my gym time short again and only got in 6 minutes on the elliptical before some quick ST. My friend will be here in 30 minutes to pick me up and we'll be headed up to Cincinnati.
The plan for today:
3+ hours driving to Cinci/my mom's house.
We'll grab some Tim Horton's on the way - and, yes, I will either have a donut or a blueberry muffin...probably.
Concert tonight - Reba with George Strait and LeeAnn Womack at the US Bank Arena
May hit up some of the bars downtown as tonight is Cinci's Bockfest...hope we make it up there in time to see the goat! *lol*
Likely something healthier like Subway for dinner.
Packing an apple, a pear, and some protein bars for just in case...
Either a lot of walking and/or dancing tonight, or at least 2 miles on mom's treadmill before bed.
The plan for tomorrow:
Not quite sure.
Mom, AM and I will be hitting the town. Possible choices: Newport Aquarium, Cinci Museum Center, Cinci Zoo, or shopping at the Jeffersonville Outlets
Then lunch at one of the places I've Googled in and around the Cinci area.
Then home again, home again, jiggity-jigg.
The plan for Sunday:
4.5 miles...I need to make sure I can do it before I drive 16 hours for nothing. *sigh* I'm actually quite worried because my hip has been bothering me the past few days. I walked a mile and a half yesterday and felt it the rest of the day...and it was a really slow 1 1/2 miles...
Dear Weight Loss Gods,
Please help me stay on track this weekend.
Don't let me throw everything away just because the scale insists that I'm gaining weight.
Remind me that gains throughout the week are normal, and this one is likely caused by a seriously long and difficult ST session I still haven't quite healed from yet.
Remind me to drink my water.
Please let me come home happy and healthy.
And, for the sake of all that is holy, let me AT LEAST see 324 on the scale Sunday...though 323 is my ultimate goal for this week.
Remind me that no matter what happens, I'm doing good stuffs for my body and progressing in ways that can't yet be measured.
Remind me that it's a long journey to a new life.
And remind me that I've been living my new life with confidence, pride, and only moments of self-doubt now and again.
Remind me that I'm only getting better and that the scale can't define me or control me...all that is up to me!
Oh, and could you remind me, please, to stay out of my own way this weekend and just have some darn fun?! All work and no play and all that...Mmmkay?
Thursday, March 03, 2011
Fitspo for today is from: getfitordie.tumblr.com
"No matter how slow you run, it is still faster than someone sitting on a couch."
While I spent all day ranting to my AB girls about my problems with the nasty R-word (running), I still arrived at the gym last night ready to prove that even my struggles there wouldn't stop me from progressing. Maybe I could handle being a girl who does do THAT if I was still the girl at the gym that you eye across the room and think, "It must be so easy for her." (Oh, the easy lies we tell ourselves!)
I called Hubs on the way home and asked if he was meeting me at the gym. He himmed and hawed and finally said, "I guess I can be there around 7." "We're doing arms tonight!" I reminded him. Funny, just as I was getting ready to start my warmup, he pops up ready to go. *lol* My man's fitspo, I think, looks a little something like this:
(That's Hugh Jackman, btw. YUM!)
We hopped on the treadmills and started our regular 5-minute cardio warmup. We chatted about the possibilities of getting a new car next week and talked about our days. This time we spend together at the gym has been nothing but a boost for our relationship. Sure, in the beginning I felt there were days he was dragging me down a bit...he's so shy sometimes. But lately, he's been challenging me, trying to keep up, and even moving past me (as any man likely would...don't you hate that, girls?!). It was the easiest 5 minutes on a treadmill I have ever done.
Once we hopped off, I told him, "I need you to do me a favor before we head downstairs." "Oh no!" he said. *lol* I handed him my phone and opened the stopwatch application for him. I looked him straight in the eye and said, "The SECOND I get in plank position, I'm going to tell you to start. You push that button QUICK! I need to do 60 seconds if I can - One full minute." I felt strong to start. I remember when I couldn't hold this position for 2 seconds, let alone 60! I smiled a bit to myself. And then my shoulders started to whine, and my abs contracted as my body tried trembling in an effort to get me to stop immediately. I was sure I was about halfway done and Hubs yells out, "15 seconds."
CRAP! I refocus. Man, this was harder when I couldn't see the time, but I knew I needed that challenge. I stared at the ground and said, "Okay, 15 seconds. Better than your first planks ever were. You can do this. You GOT this!" Hubs pipes in with, "30 seconds. Halfway there."
I get irritated for a second. I think, "No DUH it's halfway there. Doesn't make it hurt any less. OMG, I don't know if I can do this." And then my body starts to shake really hard. I tighten my jaw and refocus myself. "Stop that! You're MORE than halfway there now. You've been to 50 before, you can at least get there again. Stop telling yourself you can't because you don't even know what you can do until you try."
"45 seconds! You're doing great!" Aww! He's such a great cheerleader. I think about all the times I wish he had been this supportive during races, at times in the gym when I thought I was going to collapse on the floor and die and then just gave up because it was "TOO HARD." He believes in me, so I should believe in myself too. I tell myself, "Okay, 15 seconds. The first 15 seconds weren't that hard. You've done 3 of them already. You totally have this." And my arms start trembling harder and I wonder if I really do have it.
"5 more seconds!!" OMG. Longest 5 seconds of my life, I'm sure. I tightened everything - my core, my butt, my thighs (ooh...still feel that workout from yesterday on those suckers!), my biceps and shoulders. I actively engage myself in the floor's intricate pattern and set out to finish what I started, because I don't want to repeat the whole process again!
Hubs counts down the last 5 seconds for me and when he gets to 60, I quickly yell out "Keep going!" It's this tradition of mine - if I get to my goal and I still feel a little tiny bit left in me, I push myself just 5 seconds more -- it's how I knew I could do 30, 45, and 50. That's how the whole thing even works. Just a small challenge. Nothing that will kill you. You've already reached your goal, so you can quit here and still walk out a champ. But there's no harm in trying more and seeing what happens...either way, you're a total winner tonight.
Five seconds later, I collapsed in a heap on the floor - a smiling, giddy, out of breath (I think I held it those last 7 seconds or so, other than the shout out to Hubs to keep the meter running), soaked in sweat, and exhausted heap. First week of March isn't even over yet, and I can mark my 1-Minute Plank goal off the list. And as I breathe (okay, pant) and smile and laugh to myself and at Hubs, who seems quite proud even though he doesn't understand what the hype is all about (planks LOOK easy, y'all...they ARE NOT), I think to myself - "If I've already gotten this far...I wonder how far I can get by the END of March. Is a minute and a half plank in my future? Or should I challenge myself to the "modified" planks - the more difficult version. Or my arch nemises -- the side plank. Perhaps it's time to see what I can do with that bad boy." Either way, I earned my GOAL MET sticker!
But the night wasn't over yet. A minute of waiting just left Hubs more antsy to start his workout. "Alright," he said to me with a half-smile. "What are we doing tonight?" I pick up my little notecard binder with post-its sticking out the side and say, "Are you ready? I've got a lot planned for us tonight. I plan to make you feel this one." (Lately, he claims he doesn't feel the workout the next day...something I totally plan to change. He needs to know what that sore-happiness feels like. It is my new goal in life to make him hate me in all the best ways.) He blurts out another "Oh, no!" but I can tell he's excited. I've combined the workout from Monday we missed with Wednesday's workout. It's a no-no according to my fitness regime, but I don't give two craps about that. I want to feel this one - and Thursday is a rest day, so I can kill myself tonight and make concessions and apologies to my body tomorrow.
Standing Lateral Raises
Working: Front, Rear and Side Deltoids (Shoulders)
Target: 4 sets - reps: 20/14/12/10
Last Time: 4 sets - reps: 15/12/12/10 - weight: 5 pounds the whole time
Last Night: 4 sets - reps: 20/14/12/10 - weight: 5/12/12/15
Hubs' Actual: 4 sets - reps: 20/14/12/10 - weight: 10/10/10/12
(he's trying to get used to the idea that you increase the weight each time, if possible)
We hate these and love them at the same time. My shoulders scream the entire time. At rep 7 we both looked at each other in the mirror and grimaced. We started grunting and doing the "shoo-shoo" breathing soon after. And after every set, Hubs looked at me after a short rest and said, "Again??" Yep. Again. I got on him one time about psyching himself out. He said something to the effect of "I don't think I can do any more." I looked straight at him and told him that he was talking himself out of it. "If you think you can't, you won't. Talk positive. Tell yourself you can, and I bet you'll surprise even yourself." He did...and I didn't hear much negative after that (except more AGAIN??s *lol*)
He took a big breath after that, and I could see him eyeing the purple post-its in my notecard binder. I could see that, "OH CRAP!" look on his face. I smiled and bounced my way over to the incline bench. "These are some of my favorites!" I told him, which seemed to snap him out of it a bit. Then I sat down to show him what to do and get my set in.
Barbell Incline Bench Press
Working: Upper Pectorals, Front Deltoids, and Triceps (chest and arms)
Target: 4 sets - reps: 16/12/10/8
Last Time: 4 sets - reps: 16/12/10/8 - weight: 45 lb barbell alone
Last Night: 4 sets - reps: 16/12/9/7 - weight: 45/50/50/55
I call that progress, yes I do. Even if I did fail on the last two sets...I'm showing my body what it can do and what I expect it to do. (Thank goodness Hubs was there to spot me, though!)
Hubs Actual: 4 sets - reps: 16/14/12/8 - weight: 45/50/55/75
Yep, I discovered something rather quickly...Hubs was wimping out on me. He had resigned himself to just do whatever I could do - but he should, logically, be able to do more...he's always had more upper body strength than me! I watched his first set and got a little miffed. He was pumping through each rep like he was lifting a roll of paper towels. TOO EASY! I tried going easy on him when I upped it at first, thinking maybe he was just controlling the "This is challenging" faces because he didn't want me to think he couldn't do anything. During his second set I actually blurted out, "Still too easy!" and he did two extra just to try and appease me. It didn't work. We went up again. Still no struggle at 55 pounds. "Screw this!" I thought. I started piling on some weight and he ended up staring at the 75 pound bar and then looking back at me with this face of, "Are you trying to effing kill me?!" Yes, metaphorically speaking, I am! I smiled at him. "It's just 8. You can do 8." He sat down and I smirked a bit and said, "By the way, that's 75 pounds." I think he lost his breath for a second, but then I saw the resolve return to his face and I watched him struggle through each rep. At rep 6 he wanted to quit. I slipped my fingers under the bar and said, "Come on. Just ONE more." He did one more. "One more and you'll have it!" I said. He did one more. (So THAT is why PTs do that!? *lol* I didn't even realize I was doing it until it came out.) I helped him get the bar back on and smiled. "You did all 8!" I said excitedly. I think he may have smiled. I think I may have gained some bonus "you might work as a trainer after all" points too.
Front Dumbbell Raises
Working: Front Deltoids (shoulders), Trapezius (look it up! *lol* it's back shoulder area)
Target: 4 sets - reps: 20/12/10/8
Actual: 4 sets - reps: 20/12/10/8 - weight: 5/10/10/12
Hubs Actual: 4 sets - reps: 20/12/10/8 - weight: 5/12/15/15
(Just so you know, next time he WILL pick up those 20 pound dumbbells. He's afraid of them, I know it. I used them already, so he certainly should be able to!) These weren't quite as hard. We gave each other a few looks in the mirror, but I think we were both just glad they weren't lat raises! *lol* It's funny, it's about this time I started to notice other people at the gym and saw their attitude toward me had changed. As Hubs and I moved with determination from one thing to the other, they let me be. It used to be that they'd watch me, eye me with annoyance or even with a look that was almost protective. I was hoping one day they would just accept that I was doing my thing and, unless I was in serious risk of injuring myself, to leave me be. Last night, they did just that. It's also around this time that I started to notice the clear separation between my shoulder and bicep muscles. Funny, I just read something the other day that said that wouldn't happen until a person was 20%-25% body fat. Hrmph. Whatevs, dude. I may be fat still, but I'm built WELL! I made myself that way! After this workout, Hubs started complaining that we hadn't done any bicep work. My poor Hubs and his lack of focus. You have to work ALL the muscles. You don't want huge biceps and the rest of your arm and chest all flabby, do you?! *lol*
Barbell Flat Bench Press
Working: Mid Pectorals (chest), Front Shoulders and Triceps
Target: 3 sets - reps: 12/10/8
Last Time: 3 sets - reps: 12/10/6 - weight: 45/55/65
Last Night: 3 sets - reps: 12/10/5 - weight: 45/55/65
*pouts* But my arms were already getting sore, so I forgive them.
Hubs Actual: 3 sets - reps: 12/10/8 - weight: 55/65/75
I KNEW not to start him out small this time! HA! I had to help him on the last set again, encourage him and tell him to just do one more, but he made it through. By this time I was giddy and actually dancing in the weight room (lightly...I'm not suicidal!). I was in pure bliss. He was starting to feel it. I could tell by his groans and his looks of death he was throwing at me. "One more!" I told him. "Thank God!" I think was his reply. *lol* Then I told him it was a bicep devoted exercise and he was eager to get to it.
Reverse Barbell Curls
Working: Biceps and Outer Forearms
Target: 3 sets - reps: 16/14/14
Actual: 3 sets - reps: 16/14/14 - weight: 15/25/35
Hubs Actual: 3 sets - reps: 16/14/14 - weight: 45 lb. barbell only
So I let him slide on adding more weight on the last one. I know I should have pushed him, but I can't lift the 45 pound barbell like this, so I have no clue how hard a time he was having. I do know that my EZ-Curl bar was getting pretty heavy by the end there! I do know he was "shoo-shoo" breathing with me, and we were both standing there grunting as we looked in the mirror. It almost made me giggle...especially when he asked, "How many, again?" and I had to wait until my rep was finished to gasp out the answer. I looked at him and smiled. By the last set, I looked straight at him and said, "Alright, babe. Last 14! Make 'em count!" Since when did I become THAT person? I mean, I know this is the crap I feed myself, but why is it coming out of my mouth? And why does it seem to be working on him? *lol*
By the time it was over, we were exhausted. I knew Hubs was going to feel it (okay, I really, really hope he will!) the next day. He was more than ready to go home. And then I looked at him and gave an apologetic look. He gave me back the "What?" look and I shrugged at him. "We should really do at least 5 minutes of cardio to round this out." I told him. I had already resigned to going home early and skipping out on my planned 35 minute session on the elliptical because I had doubled up the ST. I told myself that I could walk at lunch today...or not...either way, I'll get done what I need to for the week, no problem. (One good thing about pushing yourself further is you end out coming out ahead - that gives you the luxury to be a TINY BIT lazy every once in a while without it really hurting the plan.)
He shook his head I think. I know he sighed. And then he agreed. We headed upstairs just in time to catch the two ellipticals together. "Five to ten minutes, tops!" I told him. We got on and both started pumping our legs at about 120. Then Florence + the Machine came on in my one headphone (I keep one on so I can hear my music, and the other out so I can hear Hubs). It hit a fast part and I could feel the endorphin rush coming through me. I hunkered down and gave that machine everything I had, getting to about 210. Hubs laughed at my giddiness as I sang to him quietly, flung my head around, did a whole little flashdance scene right there on the elliptical (the fast moving legs scene, not the whole water thing..that would have been awkward!). I slowed down...and then a second later, he sped up to about 170. I turned to him and gasped playfully. "Trying to outdo me, I see! That WILL NOT work for me!" I sped up to 180. He sped up to 190. I went to 200. Before I knew it I had topped myself out at 250 (I didn't know I could DO THAT!) and he was speeding along around 270 and we were both smiling like little kids. I have to say, that one minute of play on the ellipticals goes up there with some of my favorite moments we've shared - and we've been together since we were about 13, so that's saying something! (while I planned on doing 10 minutes, really..I knew I could push him to it...I had to pee!! *lol* We did 5 and I ran downstairs to empty the tank.) Before I let him leave, I ran him through a stretching routine. He didn't want to do it. He kept telling me "I'll stretch in the car on the way home." But I got him to do it, and I felt much better after.
As we were leaving the gym, Hubs said something about his father. We've been joking to my FIL that if he joins the gym I will try to train him the best I can from my limited knowledge. Lately, my FIL has been referring to me as the diet and exercise expert of the family and saying things like, "This is what this book says, but I'll refer to you because you know what you're talking about." *lol* It's intimidating at times, but sweet too. Hubs repeated himself, "We have GOT to get my Dad to join the gym." Maybe it's me, but I took that as a compliment on my ability to keep the energy flow up during our session. I got a little bit of "I'm a trainer head" and started seriously wondering what it would take to get me certified. It's certainly a full-blown passion of mine now...and I keep thinking -- it's amazing where you find yourself when you give yourself the freedom to do what moves you.
Me, a certified trainer? Maybe one day. For now, I'm happy just making my Hubs hate me at the gym and love me later. I can't wait to call him today and see how sore he is. I know typing is causing me to feel the soreness in my arms...I just hope I achieved the same for him.
Happy lifting, everyone! Remember to have some fun while you're at it. Make it a friendly competition with a friend or loved one or chase the kids. You don't even realize how much good you're giving your body WHILE feeding your heart and soul with memories!
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
That's right, ladies and gents...I went back to the gym last night. Oh what joy I felt when I heard my little keycard *BEEP* it's pretty little beep. I didn't care that I was tired. I didn't care that I was in for a long night. I was going to sweat and feel so good after. (When I have trouble getting to the gym, I just imagine the afterglow and it usually spurs me in the right direction.)
Zumba was amazing last night. Difficult and challenging, and there was a girl there who looked just like I would LOVE to look someday who was perfect in my eyes and doing the moves perfectly and I wanted to punch her in the face until I realized I could use her to find even more ways of doing MY moves. I could use her as a challenge to myself. "Can you do what the perfect girl can do?" I asked myself. Then I proved to myself I could, or I almost could, or that I liked doing it a different way. I sweated a TON and felt GREAT after...sore and exhausted, but fully energized as well.
I then did a few laps with Hubs around the track as he was just finishing up 30 minutes on the elliptical. (I am so darn proud! When he started last month, 5 minutes on the thing made him want to vomit. I told him it would get easier and he'd soon be doing 30-45-or even 60 minutes. He didn't believe me, but there he was last night after 30 minutes and 2.23 miles of elliptical training. *PROUD*) I told him he had to walk the track a few times to get his legs back under him, and I walked with him.
Downstairs after a couple track laps, we headed over to the machines and got to work on our legs. He tried keeping up...
Target: 4 sets - reps: 16/14/12/12
Actual: 4 sets - reps: 16/14/12/12 - weight: 60/70/80/90
After that he said his legs were jiggly. So we moved on to...
Donkey Calf Raises
Target: 4 sets - reps: 20/16/16/16
Actual: 4 sets - reps: 20/16/16/16 - weight: 50/60/70/80
By this point he wanted to kill me. He said he was sure I was torturing him and he was sure I was doing it wrong. So we moved on to...
Machine Leg Curls
Target: 4 sets - reps: 16/14/12/12
Actual: 4 sets - reps: 16/14/12/12 - weight: 40/50/60/70
He got in the first set or two and then said he felt dizzy and wanted to vomit. (Maybe I'm not the only one who hates the lightheaded feeling this stupid machine gives me. I hate the positioning of my body while doing this and it feels wrong somehow.)
I stretched before ST and after cardio, after my short warmup work before cardio, during my ST, and again after my ST. I felt like I was back in full force. I felt like a champ again. My legs HATED me and I loved them for the burning and soreness because it meant a better tomorrow.
Later on the phone last night, Hubs was talking to his mother and told her that we had just gotten back from the gym. "I tried to keep up with her," he said, speaking about me. "And then I just had to let her go without me. I couldn't keep up, I was so dizzy!" I know the point of those comments were more to explain how much I had put him through last night, but am I the only one who hears pride in my husband's voice? He's been letting me train him more at the gym. He asked last night when we were going to do arm work and I simply said, "Tomorrow." Okay, so I may have followed that with, "Now sit down and do 12 reps....if you can..." ;) It's been fun. I even offered to train my FIL if he wanted to join the gym. I love having someone to do the workouts with, and I always tell Hubs that if there's anything he wants to work that I'm not working, just let me know and I'll show him what to do and spot or watch him. (So far he's turned me down, but he also used to turn me down on ST with me at all, so maybe he'll come around eventually.)
Throughout the ST portion of our workout though, the M-word came out. MEXICAN. You see, there's a Mexican restaurant right across the street from the gym. It's an evil place full of fat, salt and margaritas. (Okay, the margaritas are actually quite good...) When Hubs is facing a hungry belly after workout he brings it up from time to time. Last night, he brought it up and, as always, asked what I wanted to do. I usually give in...it saves me from having to cook. But the night before when I was supposed to cook grilled chicken and roasted vegetables, we ate Captain D's. (GROSS!) I had put this chicken/veggie dinner on my tracker TWICE and now I was going to have to take it off AGAIN for something more fattening? *sigh* I hate disappointing them. Logan was already asking to go out, and now Hubs wanted to as well. *sigh* And if I went home and made dinner, it would likely be 10pm before we got to eat (because my stove/oven SUCKS!)...the kids were supposed to be in bed by 9pm.
I felt guilty.
I felt ashamed.
I felt determined.
I thought maybe I could go with them and not eat.
Then I realized that was probably not possible AT ALL.
Finally I ran off to the locker room and told Hubs to let me think. I thought and thought. I finally walked slowly back out, turned to him, apologized and explained that I did not want to go out. I told him that I was sorry, but that I didn't want to waste the calories. I asked him if he would like me to pick something up for him and the boys on the way home, maybe. Hubs told me it was alright and drove off with the boys to pick up pizza and take home. I went home and started the LONG process of making a very SIMPLE meal. (I drank a glass of soy chocolate milk while cooking to hold me over.)
And at 10pm, when I sat down to eat my grilled chicken spiced only with sea salt and cracked peppercorn, and my roasted fingerling potatoes, green, red and orange peppers and green beans with only sea salt, cracked peppercorn, olive oil and some Italian seasoning, as I drank my water I felt amazing.
"See?" I told myself. THIS is why you belong at the gym and at the stove. This is why it's worth the wait. You don't feel guilty or gross. You don't have to admit to any eating out. You don't need to overflush tomorrow all the salt you ate today. You can just enjoy this meal. You can even allow yourself a few more veggies, if you'd like. You can enjoy this food AND feel proud. Kids were taken care of, and so was I.
(And I'm salivating just thinking of the leftovers I get to have tonight!)
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
Well, February was a short month, but I'm still proud of the progress that I made. I'm still not doing all that great at remembering to log everything, but doing is much more important than logging, I think, so I'm alright with that.
Here are my first 3-months goals and how I'm doing so far on them:
1. Log 90 miles
January - 26
February - 12
Total = 38/90
Left to Log - 52!
YIKES! Again, not doing so great at logging, so I may have done more than I realize, but still, this one makes me sad. Of course, it's no surprise to me considering my poor attitude regarding my inability to run. I need to just be okay with walking the miles I need. I don't know that I'll get this goal, but I can try to do the best I can, right? I think I can at least do 30 miles this month on the elliptical and treadmill and road. I need to train the next two weeks for the 7k, and then that will add some miles to my total as well.
2. Lose 20 pounds.
January - 0
February - 5
Left to Log - 15 pounds.
Alright, let's face it. I'm not going to hit this one. I'm alright with that. At least we're moving in the right direction again (FINALLY!) so as long as there's progress, I'm happy. Let's hope March will bring me another 5 pound loss at least!
3. Complete Couch 2 5k Program
Not going to happen, so let's just leave that alone.
4. Finish 2 Races
Left to Log: 2/2 races
Okay, so I have registered for the 7k at least. There are a couple other races this month that might give me my two for the first 3 months of the year. Right now I'm looking at the Celtic Knot 5k in Lewisburg, WV on March 26th. I'll have to make a decision on that one soon, though.
5. Complete 30 Day Shred
Again, I haven't started it, but as I noted last month, I've been working a different program - the freetrainers.com 8-week Weight Loss & Definition program will run me until the end of March. After that, I'll start 30DS and get that done before summer...that's the plan right now. I'm alright with not completing this one simply because I have something to put in it's place. I kinda missed a lot of workouts last week when I was sick, but I'm going right back to it tonight. I'm already noticing changes, so I'm a happy girl with this heavy lifting stuff right now. Plus, it kinda makes me feel a bit like Wonder Woman...and that's not a bad thing at all, is it?
6. Finish "Winning After Losing"
Read in January - 0 pages
Read in February - 75 pages
Left for March: 118 pages
Yes, I could have done better, but I was working on a few other things this month, including memorizing 3 monologues for VM, so I was a little busy. I didn't even finish my Burstyn book and have already thrown in a Terry Brooks book for the heck of it. (I just needed a fast and easy read, and I'm almost halfway done...I just started it 2 days ago.)
7. Read 3 Books (including 1 for research)
I'll finish this one for sure. And I read 2 with child's POV narrators, which can count toward my research goals.
Left for March: Finish Terry Brooks and Burstyn books
8. Do 1-Minute Plank
I had worked my way up to 50 seconds, and then started my heavy lifting program and completely forgot all about it. I may try out the arms tonight or tomorrow and see where I'm at, but I think I can for sure get this one accomplished before March 31st.
9. Log 3,900 Fitness Minutes
January - 1620
February - 630
Left to Log - 1650
Sad, right? I don't think that's right, but that's all I logged. *sigh* I think I might be able to hit this one, mainly because I'm nearly done with the paper, which will free up my Thursdays for more Zumba. For this week alone I have 345 minutes planned.
10. Attend 20 Zumba classes
Honestly, I stopped counting, but I think I'm at about 5, and I know how sad that is, but I've been crazy busy. There is a Zumbathon this weekend, but I'll miss it because I'm going out of town. However, they're having an event next weekend bringing in a woman named Heather Rounds to teach 2 classes on March 12th and I'm pretty sure I'm going to try to be at one of those.
11. Fit into size 24 jeans
I'm calling this one -
Those tight 24s are still tight, but less tight and I can wear them out in public if I want (they just give a little more pudge up top then I'd like. Still, most 24s are fitting pretty darn well, and I even had to buy a size 22 pants at LB this past month.
Body Part / February Start / March Start / Total Loss
Waist -- 47 -- 46 -- -1 inch!
Hips -- 58 -- 56 -- -2 inches!
Neck -- 15 -- 15 -- 0
Thigh -- 24.75 -- 24 -- -.75 inches!
Calf -- 21 -- 21 -- 0
Upper Arm -- 14.25 -- 14.25 -- 0
Total inches lost in February: 3.75
Total inches lost with SP to date: 44 inches! (and 17 are from my hips alone!)
My Specific Goals for February Were:
* Be under 330 pounds (I said I'd like to be around 325, if possible.)
* Lose some dang inches! (especially in the hips and waist, but also the legs)
Okay, not exactly...but I'm getting better. Time to get really honest and serious about this one!
* Get 12 glasses of water a day
Uhm, no. That happened a lot, but I can't say I did it every day. Is that unrealistic to expect?
* Start cooking at home again.
We had some great dishes this month!
* Boxing practice at least 1x/wk
Nope. I did it a few times, but it's much easier to do when CT is pushing me to keep going.
* Get ready for spring by walking, rowing, etc.
I did a little of this, but not nearly enough!
So that's how February went. I'm pretty pleased, even if I only lost 5 pounds. I realized today that even if I lost just 5 pounds a month, the continued progress would keep me going. That being said - I would love to have my 8-10 pounds a month losses back!! *lol* So, now we're starting March and besides the minor annoyance of having to scrape my car windows this morning on MARCH FIRST (WTF?!), I'm actually looking forward to it.
Let me start off by saying that things are moving in a somewhat different direction around here. Both Hubs and I have been changing a lot as people. I'm not sure if it's because we're both 30 and finally settling in, or because I've started all these big changes and it's sparking other things as well. I've noticed we're kinder, more forgiving, more willing to accept and admit to our mistakes...and we don't stay as angry as long with one another. I can honestly say it is making me a happier person. Even days like yesterday, when everything went wrong and I was bored out of my mind and got none of what I wanted to accomplish done, I'm still able to get through and bounce back with more vigor than before.
Changes to expect in March:
* A new car??
Hubs and I have been shopping for a new baby since my old girl is finally starting to show serious signs of old age. (She's a 1995 with 306k miles on her...it's really no wonder!) So we're looking and seriously considering. Old but new to us? Completely new? Not sure what will happen. I know what I want to happen, and I actually had dreams about it last night, but that requires a lot of cards falling in just the right places for it to happen. We'll see. Let's just leave it at that.
* A haircut!
Seriously, my hair has become so unmanageable and I'm annoyed. Plus, it's almost spring, which is when I usually get my shorter cut back again and get it thinned to high heaven. I'm making an appointment to see my stylist soon...and I'm probably going to make an appointment for Hubs as well.
* Adventure Blog
Now that I've left the paper (well, Thursday is my last day), I should have more time to devote to this and, perhaps, to writing articles for Hubs. We shall see. I do know that I have to review an iPhone case before the week is out...I'm testing it now and not quite sure what I think yet. Anyhow, I'll let you know when updates are ready. I really need to get a blog post somewhere written down about the VM experience before I forget it.
* Lone Wolf
Okay, I know I mentioned it before, but my BIG adventure for March will not be walking a 7k or meeting a Sparkie, but will, instead, be driving 16 hours in a car by myself from WV to MN. I'm nervous, excited and about 10 other different things. What's more, I'm not even sure what I'm driving. I can't take the van up there, so I've got a rental car reserved right now...but if Hubs and I make a car purchase before then, I might be testing out the new girl on the open road. All the unknowns are driving me a little bit batty, I'll be honest, but I'm trying to just go with it.
* Country Girl?
Okay, so I'm going to a country concert this weekend. Anyone who knows me would find that humorous. I'm not a huge fan of country. There are a few singers I like - Faith Hill, Garth Brooks, and even Taylor Swift is alright. Thankfully, when my friend told me that she wanted to go see a country concert this weekend for her birthday, she immediately said one word that made it alright -- Reba. Okay, I like her. I know NONE of her "new" stuff (new meaning since the late nineties...the last time I listened to any country music), but she's a great woman - empowering, with the great red hair and the sassy attitude. I can handle that. So, yes...the girl who doesn't like country, who moved from OH to WV and was surrounded by it, who blares her Pink Floyd to compete with Toby Keith (UGH!) on the open roads around here, that girl is going to a country concert on Friday night. Oh, the things we do for our friends. I do hope I have some fun...and at least it's not Toby. (No offense to people who actually LIKE country music...I'd just rather see Blue October or some alternative rock group mmmkaythanks.)
So, finally...after I bored you with all of that.
Specific goals for March:
Under 320. (Which is -6 pounds.)
I want to see my 319 by the end of the month. And, to be perfectly honest, I would LOVE to see 316.2 - my 100 pounds lost mark...but I'm just going to get as close as I can without expecting everything to happen at once because that's the SMART thing to do! (See, I'm learning!)
Finish the freetrainers program
I can't wait to see how much I can lift by the end and compare that to what I was lifting when I started. Plus, I will have all these new exercises to add into my regular routines!
It's time to get super serious about this. I do not eat it if I will not log it. And I must log each and every exercise and every minute spent working out.
12 Glasses of Water
Okay, so I'm not good at keeping things going like this for a WHOLE month, and it also ties into my logging - I suck at logging it. BUT, I have to remind myself that I need more water.
Get more sleep!
I seriously need to work on getting more sleep as well. To be perfectly honest, I think sleep had more to do with my big weight loss week of 2.2 pounds last week than anything else. I like to stay busy, so sometimes I simply forget that my body also needs sleep. 6-8 hours, Esther. You can't make it all up on Sunday! 6-8 hours PER NIGHT!
Try at least 5 new recipes
We're still doing our "exotic cooking" challenge to ourselves, so we're going to pick a few more countries and see what they have to offer us. In February we found 2 new loves - Moussaka (an eggplant lasagne dish from Greece) and Cassoulet (From France. OMG! LOVE! as did everyone else). I know one recipe I'll already be cooking is the new lentil soup recipe my nutritionist just sent me. I have to find a way to use the miracle food that is lentils!
I'm challenging myself to use at least 20 minutes every Sunday to decompress and stretch with Yoga. I have fallen off the Yoga wagon, and I seriously need to get back on. Sunday is normally a rest day, but Yoga is so low impact, I'm pretty sure I can get in just 20 minutes every Sunday.
Finally, I need to put this Fitspo somewhere:
"I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday."
"Sometimes you have to stop thinking so much and go where your heart takes you."
"Everyone loses games. Few change them."
"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what others say you cannot do."
"Make your own luck."
"You miss 100% of the shots you never take."
"Yesterday you said 'tomorrow.'"
And this Nike ad with Marilyn Monroe:
"A woman is often measured by the things she cannot control. She is measured by the way her body curves or doesn't curve, by where she is flat or straight or round. She is measured by 36-24-36 and inches and ages and numbers, by all the outside things that don't ever add up to who she is on the inside. And so if a woman is to be measured, let her be measured by the things she can control, by who she is and who she is trying to become. Because as every woman knows, measurements are only statistics, and STATISTICS LIE."
Happy March, everyone!
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