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Last Day of School and Killing the Scale - W3.D4

Thursday, May 06, 2010

So, I've been a bad little girl and weighing myself every day. I know not to do this because my weight likes to fluctuate a LOT, but every day so far it's been down a little bit, down a little bit more. Today...not so great. It said I was up 2 pounds. I even weighed myself twice. I'm trying to not let it stress me out, though I was upset that I wasn't able to do my regular walk yesterday because I spent the night walking around WalMart looking for something for class today. Still, it was walking, and walking I don't normally it counts.

Today is my last day of school, which has been a little emotional. I still have 3 finals to take next week, but that's a completely different class time than the regular classes I have right now. It's a little sad to realize I won't be seeing these people twice a week or more...but we've arranged to get together at least once a month so that we don't lose touch. (I just hope these are the kind of people that do what they say and don't "get busy" later and it all falls apart. I've had that happen before, but these friends are a little different, a little more anal retentive like me, so I think we should be good.)

Still not much time to Spark, which is driving me completely batty! I feel like I'm missing out on all of my Spark Friends' journeys - the ups and downs I should be there to congratulate or sympathize with, but it simply can't be helped right now. So for all of you I've missed this week - Sorry! I'll be back soon, I promise! (And I am one of those people who does what she says she's going to do.)


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALIMESSA 5/6/2010 11:37PM

    Wow! I'm gone a couple days and, from reading your blogs, sounds like life has gotten a bit crazy busy for you! I guess that's what school can do, though. Another of my SparkFriends, ALG5171, just got done with finals...things got crazy for her, too! Sounds like you are handling things well, though, and not turning to food for comfort, so that is great! The scale obsession thing is something I think we all have had, or still have...not sure why, other than we want to see results know it isn't the best way to measure your progress, so I'm not even going to go there.

Take care of yourself, and as always,
Stay Strong!!

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-SHIMMER-ANN- 5/6/2010 3:49PM

    1. I know the pain with the scale...we know better, but let it get to us anyway!!

AND 2. I totally count shopping as exercise!!!!!

Good luck dearest, I hope it isn't too sad of a transition out of school. Have a goood day!!

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PRETTYMANDI 5/6/2010 1:33PM

    My husband had to hide the scale from me because I would get horribly depressed and down on myself unless it was constantly lower everyday. It went from just wanting to not gain to expecting to see instantanious results or else I was ticked and felt that dieting just wasn't "working" for me. I have also discovered the mind over body articles at Spark are helping me to deal with some of the reasons that I feel this way as well. You might want to read those. You know, next week, after your life isn't so busy! ;)

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JAKI1027 5/6/2010 1:20PM

    I would weigh in every day if I could, but I don't let myself! I seriously put the scale in the box and keep it there all week so I'm not as tempted to just get on it. and then I take it out the day I'm going to weigh in. Then i put it right back in the box.
It would play to much with my emotions and self esteem if i let myself weigh in. You should try to find a place to put your scale away during the week and only take it out once. It really helps me!

You're doing great though! Finals are so stressful but just make sure you make time for yourself to breathe!!! Good luck on all of them!!! emoticon

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On the Upside - W3.D4

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Well, it seems the panic attacks have passed as I've gotten a lot of this work done.

Literary Criticism paper (turned out to be 2 1/2 pages on bell hook's theory of postmodern criticism as a useful tool for defining black experience) is done and turned in.
My Capstone project is nearly complete, and certainly complete enough for me to present it in class tomorrow morning.
I still haven't gotten to the Healthy Living stuff or Race & Gender stuff, but that's not nearly as important.
I have a meeting today on The Awakening, so I need to finish a reread of it (because it's been about a year since I last read it. I have about 4 hours to read about 120 pages.) before then.
Also have a meeting tonight about my presentation for Race & Gender...we'll see if our 3rd group member even shows up...I seriously doubt it. *rolls eyes*

On the upside - I have stayed on track with my food and with my exercise. Completed day 12 (I think it was) yesterday by doing my inStride cycle while reading the beginning pages of The Awakening. (Multi-tasking...gotta love it!) I was forced to think on my feet last night when I realized hubby had frozen the ground turkey I was to use for tacos. I grabbed all the veggies I had in the fridge and pantry and tossed it all in a pot with some vegetable stock to make a wonderfully healthy and amazing tasting Vegetable Soup! YUM!

I keep telling myself that all I have to do is get through this week and the next and I'm golden - and this week is nearly over! Have a really long day tomorrow (work, school, work, school, work, second job at the paper) so it should be fun trying to keep myself awake through that! (Especially considering I have TWO presentations tomorrow! EEK!) Took off work today because...well, because I got very little sleep last night and I really needed to focus on school. Thank God this is almost over or my boss would be getting really anxious about me taking off days here and there. (As of now she is 100% understanding about all of it!)

That's all I've got today for you, SparkFriends! Need to get back to work...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KELLYAKAZ 5/5/2010 3:39PM

    Wow, you are doing amazing! I am SO bad about giving up the diet when I get stressed. It's usually the first thing to go. Way to keep it up and take care of YOU in the midst of your storm! ;)

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ALG5171 5/5/2010 12:46PM

    emoticon just think how amazing it's going to be when you're done!

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DLEE27 5/5/2010 12:28PM

    You're doing so awesome! Almost done!!!!

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PRETTYMANDI 5/5/2010 11:04AM

    You're in the home stretch now!!!

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Seems Like the Perfect Time for a Panic Attack - W3.D3

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Just a little note to let you all know that I am overwhelmed. Eating is on track. Workouts remain good. But school has gotten the better of me. Just had a minor panic attack in class when I realized there is very little time left to get done what I need to get done.

Still need to:
Finish a 25-30 page Capstone Project
Prep for a presentation on this project
Finish a 2 page Literary Criticism paper (sounds easy, SO not!)
Prep for a presentation on stereotypes of religion and ageism/sexism in Driving Miss Daisy
Rewrite notes for Healthy Living class
Edit article for zine article for Desktop Publishing
Study for Literary Criticism final
Study for Healthy Living final
Study for Race, Gender & Human Identity final

The Capstone project has been haunting me all semester and I've already changed my topic/paper-type twice. Looks like I'll be switching gears again, pulling out a half-finished story from last year, revamping, reworking, finishing and all that.

And now the fire alarm has gone off in my building. That's just friggin' great!

Anyhow, I'll be around ...but not much in the next 2 weeks...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    I remember those days, and I will be back to them pretty soon. It always gave me comfort to think that no matter what happens, it will all be over in two weeks/a month/this summer/whatever. Win lose or draw it too will pass and soon it will be nothing more than a memory. I know it doesn't help in the here and now, but it won't last forever.

Good luck and I know you will rock it! emoticon

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KELLYAKAZ 5/4/2010 3:25PM

    Good luck with everything! Remeber to take care of yourself in the midst of all that work. YOU CAN DO IT! :)

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ERNOINACTION 5/4/2010 12:01PM

    Oh, that Driving Miss Daysee part sounds interesting. Best of luck!

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PRETTYMANDI 5/4/2010 11:38AM

    I am sure you will be able to accomplish it all! Just think of what a great feeling of success you will have in just a couple of weeks when you look back and see what you were capable of. Not much different than weight loss when you think about it! Good luck!


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CAALAN23 5/4/2010 11:31AM

    Wow, I hope you get through all that. Well, the real question is whether you will still be sane or not when you're done. Surely you will be...right?

Sending white light and positivity your way!

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DLEE27 5/4/2010 11:23AM

    emoticon That is me looking stressed out on your behalf! Yikes, that is a lot to get done. Luckily you are super smart and awesome and you will totally rock out all of it! You're almost done, hang in there!!!!

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The Curse Times 10 - W3.D2

Monday, May 03, 2010

Whoever said exercise will reduce your cramps...I want to kill them. I am firm believer of not carrying a gun (I have my reasons), but if that person was standing on my lawn today I would need a good chunk of bail money because dude would be D-E-A-D, dead!

I have been cursed all my life with serious cramps. They usually fall on the 2nd day of my period and then the rest of the time its manageable, but that 2nd day is absolute hell. I feel sick to my stomach. I can't sleep. I scream out for help. Today is that day. And while I thought all this working out and eating healthy might work in my favor today, it simply did not. I woke up a few times last night in agony. At 5am I was in so much pain I could only sleep for about 5 minutes at a time, waking up now and again to cry out. Hubby brought me ibuprofen and hot tea (my usual cures), and still 2 hours later I was playing that same game of sleep-scream-sleep. I called off work.

About an hour or so later, I was back to least to manageable discomfort. I'm exhausted. I'm sore. I want to sleep but need to study for school. I still have classes tonight. I have a 30 minute walk and some strength training ahead of me. (Nope, not skipping it...I might be slow tonight but I will not ruin my streak when I'm already 10% done!)

I should be thankful because I realized with the lifestyle change happening mid-April, I missed a month for my period. Finally my body is getting back on track with itself. This should make me happy, but instead I feel like I'm being punished for having one blissful month without this pain.

If anyone has any home remedies, please shout 'em out. As for what I plan to do now? I'm calling the doctor this week to get an appointment so that I can discuss BC methods which seriously reduce or even end this one-day-a-month hell I find myself in again and again. I've got the rest of my life (somewhat) under control...I'm not about to let this take me down!

(On a positive note, I broke out the blender today and hubby and I had a yummy strawberry-banana smoothie! It was heaven and I feel much better now! *lol*)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

-SHIMMER-ANN- 5/4/2010 7:50AM

    I had awful cramps yesterday, too!! I can usually just deal with the pain, it doesn't really bother me (I had an ectopic pregnancy in 2006, and I wasn't treated til my entire tube was torn to shreds and I was bleeding to death-literally, because I had not considered the pain to be serious enough to worry haha, I gave it a 4 on the pain scale), but I too had to succumb to meds...and not just a little! I ended up knocked out on two ibuprofen that didn't work, and three Tylenol PM that DID haha.

Glad you're feeling better! I had tea also...didn't work :-/ Here's to a better day to us!!

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ALG5171 5/4/2010 3:27AM

    THere's a spark article (I think in diet and nutirition) about this very topic and it's recommendations totally helped me with mine.

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CALLIKIA 5/3/2010 10:14PM

    Thanks everyone! Had another painful couple hours on my way to school and through the first class. After that the meds kicked in, the pain subsided and I actually walked a mile and a half tonight! Now to do my ST and finish up some homework. Planning on going to bed not too late tonight (early is too much to ask in the last week of school before finals...I'm just sayin'.)

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DLEE27 5/3/2010 5:20PM

    emoticonSo sorry to hear that you're feeling so crummy. One thing that helped me when I had bad cramps was to lay on my back with my feet elevated. Like, I would lay on the living room floor with my legs on the couch. That and the heating pad combined usually helped. Boo. I hope you feel better soon! emoticon

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    Hmmmm ... hot water bottle on the stomach?! Sorry I know that was a lame one but hey, every little helps! BC is the only non-lame thing that I can think of and even that you thought up all by yourself!!!!

I'm amazed that you're continuing your streak good on you! Perhaps that feeling of accomplishment will get you through next months day 2?!?! Yep OK I'll just shut up now!!!!! Teehee!

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SPUNKYDUCKY 5/3/2010 1:54PM

    BC should help a lot. In the meantime, I think that hydration and ibuprofen is key. Glad to hear that you are keeping your exercise streak up.

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ALIMESSA 5/3/2010 1:52PM

    I sure hope you are doing better...I don't have any remedies for you, but thought I'd just share this little bit with you...I have polycystic ovarian disease...basically I have a lot of little cysts all over my ovaries which reeks havoc on your entire reproductive system...took me 10 years to have my first child! One of the perks, however, has always been that I don't have a TOM with out inducing one with I've only had one every 3 -4 months for as long as I can remember. Well, for the last probably 3 months now, I am now getting one EVERY month like clock work! UGH! This sucks! So, this wonderful healthy lifestyle change does bring us some not so welcome gifts sometimes, as well! I'm looking at it as it really is the healthier way...the less meds I have to take the better, right?!

Well, good luck finding some remedies and also with your doc...I've heard birth control is awesome nowadays with all the options available!

As always,
Stay Strong!!

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    I hear ya sister! I almost fell to my knees in the grocery store yesterday.
I have one of those microwavable heat cushions filled with oats and who knows what else. I usually nuke it for a few minutes and place it over the offending area. Usually that, some midol and the fetal position is about all that makes me feel even a little bit better.

Luckily for me, I'm on a birth control where I only get my period once every three months (also helps control symptoms of PCOS), so I don't have to deal with it as often, but when it comes it comes with a vengeance!

Feel better and keep up the good work! emoticon

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JAKI1027 5/3/2010 12:34PM

    BC helps me a lot. I have horrible cramps for the first day of my period every month!!! its terrible, i cry a lot because of the massive pain. i lay in bed all day because i cant move. i used to call out of work once a month, they got really pissed about it, but i couldnt help it!

then i got on BC and i still get cramps but NOTHING like that at all!!!! Im on ortho-cept, I actually just switched because my old BC (ortho tri cyclen lo) worked for about a year and a half and then my massive cramps came back!!! but everyone is different so go with what the doctor tells you, you're going to have to try different ones until you find the one that works for you. Give yourself at least 3 months on one type of pill before deciding it isnt for you. My mom says give it 6.

When i switched birth controls my period got heavier and i thought it really wasn't helping after three months, but this is the fourth month on it and i just had a LOVELY period week haha. hardly any cramps. and they were definitely manageable!!!

BC is the only thing that helps me.

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KILA1228 5/3/2010 11:38AM

    I hope you start to feel better! The things women have to suffer through!! LOL Have a great day!!!

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May Has Arrived! - Week 3

Sunday, May 02, 2010

Alright, that's it. Say goodbye to fair April and hello to a wonderful May!

Weight last month: 416.2
Weight goal for beginning of this month: 412.2
Actual Weight beginning of this month: 403.0
Actual Weight lost in April: 13.2 pounds!
(only counting the last two weeks of April, when I started this journey and started SP on April 18th)

Today was weigh-in day. Down another 3.6 pounds and feeling better every day. Still exhausted much of the time, but that's to be expected for the next two weeks. A lot of things to do before I'm donezo! Graduation will be a blessed day!

So, for the start of May, I want to set some goals for myself.

emoticonWeight Loss Goal
Be down to 395. That's 8 pounds for the month and completely doable. Plus, I'll end up hitting my alternate goal of seeing the 300s again. If goal is reached I will be down 20 pounds total!

emoticonFitness Goal
Work out every day for at least 15 minutes. At the end of the month it would be 39 days out of the 100 goal I set...that's 39% done. It will be over 500 fitness minutes for the month...this doesn't include the days I'll work out 30+ minutes and do Strength Training (3 times a week).

emoticonFood Goal
I want to learn to cook healthy all the time. I hope to get 4-5 servings of fresh fruits and veggies every day. (I picked the pineapple because I had some fresh pineapple this morning for breakfast.) I also want to try new foods and find healthy foods I can incorporate every week that my family enjoys. I'd like to eventually have a dish from each country...we really like cooking by geography. Already have Italy, China, America, and France. I'd like to learn to make Sushi at home if I can find the right ingredients somewhere around here.

emoticonHealth Goal
Of course, this is the month to end my smoking addiction. I have only until graduation, and then it's excuses!

emoticonPersonal Goal
I want to see some changes in my appearance. I usually see these before others do because I tend to investigate the areas where my body changes first when I'm losing weight. I'm trying to stop this focus on appearance, but I really do want to see the results. (Perhaps my goal should be to STOP studying myself in the mirror...another issue for another month.)

emoticonOther Goal
Finally, and most exciting for me, I will head this month to the lake/park and get back into hiking, rowing, swimming...all those outdoor activites that I absolutely LOVE and that make "working out" feel like a fun and exciting experience! I just cannot wait for this!

emoticonMay - the month I graduate from college! This month is looking to be an awesome, amazing, wonderful, unforgettable month!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRANDI0074 5/3/2010 2:18PM

    Way to go! That is so awesome. I was once also over 400 pounds, most people don't understand what It is like and how long our journey really is! Keep up the great job, you are doing wonderful! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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-SHIMMER-ANN- 5/2/2010 7:11PM

    That is AWESOME!!!! I'm so proud!!!

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ALG5171 5/2/2010 1:27PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ALIMESSA 5/2/2010 12:40PM

    You have done so well in such a short period of time...Congrats! You are obviously committed to this journey...setting goals that are going to help you in ALL aspects of your life...ones that are going to help you establish healthy habits for a lifetime...ones that will help you achieve your utlimate live a healthy lifestyle for the rest of your life! Be proud of yourself, have a great weekend and, as always, Stay Strong!!

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LUCY1992 5/2/2010 12:16PM

  Fabulous - keep it up...

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DLEE27 5/2/2010 12:15PM

    Love it! Great loss this week!!!

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CONNIE1-11 5/2/2010 12:12PM

  you can and will do this !

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CONNIE1-11 5/2/2010 12:12PM

  you can and will do this !

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