Wednesday, October 20, 2010
I went ahead and bit the bullet and joined the 11 by 1/11/11 challenge. The only difference is that (after I realized it wasn't NOVEMBER 11th of this year we were shooting for) I decided I'm setting my bar a little higher.
I do declare that I,Esther, will lose 20 pounds by 1/11/11. Today I weigh 346.0. My weight on 1/11/11 will be 326.0 or less.
I will accomplish this goal by taking the next several weeks to build on healthy habits which relate to the topic of the week.
week one - 10/17: planning/awareness
week two - 10/24: nutrition
week three - 10/31: sleep/rest
week four - 11/7: water/hydration
week five - 11/14: exercise
week six - 11/21: relationships
week seven - 11/28: stress management
week eight - 12/5: rewards
week nine - 12/12: making my health a priority
week ten - 12/19: managing emotional eating
week eleven - 12/26: maintaining motivation
week twelve - 1/2: seeing progress and re-evaluating goals
week thirteen - 1/9:celebrate successes
For week one my goals which relate to planning and awareness are:
- eating: Eat mostly clean, 1600-2000 calories a day
- cardio: Training for HM 3 times a week, cross train 3 more days, active rest on the last day
- strength training: ST 3 times a week and incorporate new exercises to target new muscle groups
- water: Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day
- sleep/relaxation: Get at least 6 hours of sleep a night
- other: Complete at least 2 races before the end of challenge...figure out which ones.
In addition, for the next week:
I will try 1 new recipe or food. Artichokes, maybe?
I will push myself harder 1 day. On Saturday!
I will read 1 article on planning/awareness.
I will support 2 new Spark Friends.
I will force myself to make-up whatever exercises I opt out of on the day I plan it.
I'll keep you up to date on how it goes!!
Also, a few thoughts.
Yesterday I felt...different. Seriously, that's what I said to myself. I'm walking around in size 26 pants and a 22/24 shirt, clothes that actually fit me, and I thought to myself, "I just feel ...different." I'm not sure what that means right now, but I want to make a note of it for future reference. I do know that yesterday I felt a little sassier, a little more me, and much smaller than when I started out.
This whole plateau thing was crazy. I mean it, I was freaked for weeks thinking nothing was going to happen. And people told me that when it broke, it would break fast and I'd lose a bunch. And then that didn't really happen. I stepped on the scale Sunday and had lost a little over 2 pounds. And I thought to myself, "What the heck happened to losing a lot after a plateau?!" I'm nervous to report this, because I don't want to jinx it, but this is what the scale has said the past couple days. I hadn't intended to weigh-in every day, but I had to weigh-in yesterday for our Biggest Loser Challenge.
Sunday - 348.0
Monday - 348.4 (I think!)
Tuesday - 346.0
Wednesday - 344.0 (I'm not sure about the point something, I just know it said 344.)
I'm not counting my chickens before they hatch. Lord knows the fluctuations my body goes through in a week. But I do know that most times it fluctuates up and down. Only once has it fluctuated down consistently, and I had a good week that week. It came up a little bit at the end, but overall it was a good week, I remember. So I'm hoping to just keep going and bank on staying at or under that 346.0 goal I set for this Sunday's weigh-in. Maybe this is the "big loss after a plateau" I was hearing about. Maybe my scale has lost it's dang mind. Maybe...I don't know. Either way, it has been rather nice to see.
I tried on one of my old size 26s again this morning. I got these jeans at the Goodwill store near my house, and it's an old pair, I can tell. None of that fancy "stretch denim" and no vanity sizing. I had to lay on the bed to get them zipped, but that's more than I could think about doing 2 weeks ago, so I'm moving in the right direction. I refuse to check my progress on the 24s until Sunday.
About those 24s... Yes, I have a pair of size 24 jeans that I bought from the consignment shop. When I got them I couldn't even get them over my hips and belly. A few weeks ago, they started coming up over my hips. Then last week, I was able to get them all the way up, but they're nowhere close to zipping. I've been telling you all that it's my wish to be able to wear them on Christmas Day, and that's true...but I have secret wishes too. Do any of you do this? You set a reasonable goal, and then you set a "push it" goal. I don't want to jinx myself out of success, so I take a goal that could be reasonable if I really worked at it, and then I give myself a little extra wiggle room of time. For example, there are 12 weigh-ins between now and 1/11/11. If I lose 2 pounds a week, which is possible if I don't hit another plateau, then I could be down 24 pounds by 1/11/11. So what do I do? I give myself those 4 pounds for possible mistakes along the way, and I set my goal at 20 pounds by 1/11/11.
So while I do want to be able to wear those 24s on Christmas Day, it's a secret wish of mine to wear them to Thanksgiving lunch with my family. Like I said in my WTF template, I haven't seen most of them in a while, and I want them to see the work I've put in. Until I put those size 26 pants on yesterday, the loss wasn't even evident to me, so getting into a size 24, which I don't think I've worn since high school, would be a big deal for me and, I think, should make some sort of noticable change in my body shape. But, I worry. Thanksgiving is just a month and a week away. 36 days to break through another size. The idea of failing at that scares me, so I settle in my mind the idea of possible failure, and make a much more reasonable goal of Christmas Day, giving me another month to work with. Am I the only one who does this?
Finally, about sizes. I don't understand them anymore. I once thought I did, but I just don't. You see, I wore a size 26 pair of pants yesterday. They had a little give in them, but they weren't stretchy and weren't stretch denim. And they fit quite well, actually. But the last time I wore a size 26, I was in my senior year of high school. I may have also very well been pregnant at the time (another story for another time), but I don't believe my weight was over 300. So....I don't get it. Have pants changed (okay, I know they have some), or have I? Is it possible that my body shape is changing even when the scale is slow? Is it possible that this "fit fat" body I have now is just slimmer than the "just fat" body I had back then? *shrug* I do know that the last time I fit into a size 16 or 18 was in junior high. It was also the last time I was under 200 pounds. So what I expected was 180-190 would = size 16 or 18...but, I don't know....that seems strange now. This whole size thing is something I just can't wrap my head around. When you spend a year just trying to fit back into jeans (size 32), and then fight for 6 months just to be able to shop at a plus-sized store (instead of ordering online), you forget all about what sizes mean.
It doesn't make that much of a difference, but I just wanted to mention it. It confuses me and I have no clue what to expect. I do know that once I get this stupid belly to shrink (it's happening, slowly, I've been noticing more leg lately) that I'll like the way my pants/jeans fit better. I hate having my stomach out there broadcasting to the world, "HEY! I'm fat!"
Leaving you with one last thing. I watched BL last night, and cried. And (no spoilers here) when the eliminated contestant was recapping what he/she had done at home, he/she said, "I used to look in the mirror and see a fat man/woman. Now I look in the mirror and see a man/woman who is overweight, but who is trying to become healthy." That's how I feel now. I'm no longer just a fat woman. I'm a woman who is seriously overweight, but who is trying to get healthy. (They also said they spend like 5 hours in the gym a day, which I find rediculous, but....to each his own!....I guess they are trying to win some big bucks at the end of the whole thing, which could be great motivation, I'm sure!)
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Yesterday I was rejoicing in the 6 month Spark glow. I decided that, plateau or no plateau, reaching my goal of 70 pounds in 6 months or not, I deserved a reward for the hard work I've put in in the past 6 months. So I gave myself 100 bucks out of my savings account and I took my lunch break to go shopping at Lane Bryant.
I walked into the store ready to try on 28s, and grabbed a few 26s...you know, just in case. Color me shocked when the 26s actually fit and I found myself with a new pair of black pants for work (which I'm wearing today, thank you), a new pair of bootcut jeans (I've moved from their Blue "Curvy" to Red "Moderately Curvy" thanks to my hips finally shrinking.), and a new size 18/20 tank top. Oh, and the real reason I *had* to go shopping - a new bra. No size difference there, I still got big melons! *lol* But the last bra I had started poking me last week. (Stupid underwire!)
All of the excitement of this shopping trip made it easier to get past the fact that I was sluggish all day, still sore, and was attempting to talk myself out of an easy 2 mile training walk/run after work. (I even "forgot" my workout clothes at home...*sigh*) Whatever! Progress cannot be denied! I rushed home, changed, and headed out to the gym with my oldest son.
By the way, I finally got the insurance papers all submitted for my insurance company's Weight Management Program. I started the process back in June, but it was a long, hard road of making sure everyone else got their crap done before I could be officially enrolled. And then yesterday, I finalized the paperwork and attempted to have the gym switch me over to that plan. (There was a guy filling in who didn't know how to do it, so he just let me workout last night and told me to talk to them about it tonight. *LOVE* my gym!) For the first 3 months, I will go from paying $38 a month for my membership, to paying $45 a month co-pay for the same. However, I will get the benefit of a fitness assessment and the exercise physiologist or PT, whatever she is, to evaluate my fitness level and work with me on what I can do to improve the areas I want to improve. (I've already started a list of questions for her in my head!) So, yes, for 3 months I'll actually be paying MORE than I am regularly. But for the rest of the year, I will drop down to a $14 a month co-pay for my membership, saving me $195 over the next year. SCORE! Plus, the program requires you to check into the gym at least 2 times a week to remain eligible, so it will help to keep me accountable!
As for my workout last night? The plan was a 2 mile walk/run training to begin my half-marathon training, followed by a full round of ST. I didn't want to do it....at all. But I went anyways. I set my Nike+ Sensor watch after my 5 minute warm-up, and started by jogging the first tenth of a mile. I walked then until it said .40, and then jogged another tenth to .50. At .90, I jogged again until I hit the one mile mark. Then walk again until 1.40, and jog to 1.50. And finally, I ended it with a jog from 1.90 to 2.00, where I stopped my watch (YAY!) and did a 5 minute cool down. I probably looked like a fool. I was still sore from Sunday. My hip wanted to act up pretty badly, but whenever it did, I worked on just focusing on my steps and stride, trying to steady my gait and run a soft jog. The result according to my sensor?
Final Time: 33:27
I can totally live with that! I opted out of my ST for the night (I know, I know....but I was SORE and tired and a million other things and I honestly felt like I couldn't continue on much more without damaging the hip and/or knee further). I woke up today with a really sore hip, but with a knee that's feeling quite good. And then I put on my new black pants, paired it with a new top I got from KITKINCAID (Thank you!) and I'm feeling pretty good about myself today.
Here's how the rest of the week's training plan is set:
Tuesday - Zumba & Boxing
Wednesday - 2 mile walk/run training & Full ST
Thursday - OFF (City Council Meeting)
Friday - Tennis, Elliptical X-Training, and Full ST
Saturday - 2 mile walk/run training
I'm leaving you with the new WTF Template. Keep me accountable! Do your own as well, if you'd like. Six weeks left and those 24s are still hanging on the back of my door...with the amount of 26s fitting now, though...I'm seeing a better chance to zip them by Christmas!
~*~ WTF(all)??? Challenge Template 10/18 - 10/24 ~*~
There are SIX WEEKS of WTF??? left and Yoovie tells me that is PLENTY of time to make a huge difference in my body SO HERE WE GO!!!
Part 1: Exercise and Nutrition
I want to give myself a real challenge for the next SEVEN days, so I dare myself to [begin half-marathon training and burn at least 3,000 calories this week while staying within my calorie ranges].
To make sure I can meet this dare, I will [stick to the training schedule I've set for myself and use a lot of the same foods I've been using the past few weeks to regulate my caloric intake].
I'm also claiming bragging rights on the fact that I [technically ran TWO 5ks] last week! (One on Sunday the 10th, another on Saturday the 16th) AND I RAN SOME OF BOTH!
I would also like to focus on my [LEG] muscle groups this week by [bringing in a ton more ST including squats, lunges, and whatever else I can find].
For cardio, nothing will stop me from [reaching the goals I've already set for myself. I've worked in rest days, and I won't allow myself to crap out on the other days instead! This isn't the NFL Draft! NO TRADING!]
Three things I will not eat this week will be:
* Hot Dogs/Hamburgers (general cookout foods)
* Candy bars/Chocolate (I need to lay off for at LEAST a week!)
My excuses that I cannot use this week will be:
1. It hurts. (It's fine when it's real pain, but sore and HURT are two totally different things!)
2. I can't do this.
3. I'll never get where I want to be anyways, so who cares?!
Part 2: The rest of your life
How have you been doing when it comes to your weekly ritual of 'you' time?
Not well AT ALL! I've been so wrapped up in work, home, whatever else is going on around me, that I forgot to take a moment to breathe. I did watch How to Train Your Dragon with the whole family the other day, and it felt so great to just do SOMETHING together in a relaxed setting that I really want to repeat that again this week! (New movie or activity, of course.)
Are you particularly motivated or scared into action by a specific event approaching? What is it?
1. Thanksgiving. The first time I'm seeing my extended family since before I started here. My sister has lost all her extra weight and is now a trained running machine, so I'm terrified people won't even notice the hard work I've put into these past 6 months!
2. Yes, you heard me, I'm training myself for a half-marathon. Screw the naysayers (mainly, me)! I can do this if I train for it! And the 1/2 I'm looking at isn't until March, so I have plenty of time!
3. VEGAS BABY! My friend hasn't confirmed the dates yet, but she did send me an option of dates in and around my birthday for a Vegas trip, just the girls. I WANT! (And I want to rock a pretty dress too!)
4. My friend's wedding next July. Seriously, this is now constantly on my mind. Could I dare think I could be around a 20 or so by then? Or, *GULP*, even an 16 or 18? Is that even doable? I have NO idea, but I'm working toward that as we speak!
5. Oh yeah, Christmas! DUH! I want my size 24's to actually fit me so I can wear them on Christmas Day! They've gone from not able to get them past my hips, to on my hips, partly, but nowhere near zipping yet. We're going to get there, people!
What will you do this week to keep balance between staying on top of your fitness and maintaining sanity in the rest of your life?
Look, the fact of the matter is, I have a ways to go before I'm really truly happy with the ability and size of my body. I have a LOT of work ahead of me. So the goal is to simply ask myself, "Can I do this or more for the next year?" If the answer is yes, we're good. If it's no, I have to analyze whether that is my excuse monster talking or whether the level I'm attempting to maintain is actually too high for my actual fitness level.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Well, it's official. Today is my 6 month Sparkversary. I began my journey here on April 18, 2010 with no real sense of how things would turn out and whether this time would be THE time. Now, six months later, I'm almost 70 pounds lighter and a little bit wiser about what it takes to be a healthy human being. So how did my six months turn out? Here's the recap.
April - May
I struggled to find my place and had a lot of peaks and valleys along the way. I worked on resisting temptation, including a few peanut butter cups I left sitting on my desk for weeks, staring at me, just daring me to eat, eat, eat. I started out simply measuring EVERYTHING I could, and started to feel like I better understood portion sizes. I struggled through graduation and the eating and drinking that came along with it, and then learned that even after the fall I could get back up and start the next day anew - a big lesson on seeking out consistency, not perfection. I tried a lot of new foods and really started to learn what cooking healthy looked like, but I still heavily relied on Spark tools to keep me on task. For exercise I did a lot of walking and worked on my inStride cycle (it's like a hand-cycle, just pedals, that can also be used by the feet...it's used a lot in rehab facilities and cost me about 30 bucks on Amazon). Some nights it was all I could do to shove in 15 minutes of cycling, sitting in my recliner in front of the TV. I started attempting SP's ST sessions that were recommended for me. I lost about 20 pounds that first month and felt good to continue and set new goals for myself.
May - June
I thought about the goal of walking a 5k before the year was out, and the idea both scared and excited me. I tried it out one day, just to see if I could, and though I made it the entire 3.1 miles, I knew my body wasn't ready to "race" that much yet. I still had a lot more training to do to get where I wanted to be. But as much as I knew I wasn't ready, I started to understand that I could be, and two new words entered my vocabulary - "training" and "athlete." Could a fat girl be an athlete? I tried Zumba, and failed miserably the first time, but refused to give up on it and soon learned how to modify enough to work my ailing body into doing the full 60 minute workout. I did Yoga and started becoming more flexible. I still struggled with peaks and valleys throughout each week, but getting back up started to seem a little easier as I struggled my way out of each hole I built for myself. I also went on Depo and started to worry that the shot would hinder my progress. I contacted my insurance company about their Weight Management Program (which I will call today to finalize...took a while!). I joined AB and started my first real challenge (SIYC) with other Sparkers. It was a lesson in learning to set goals and working toward achieving them. It was also a lesson in letting go if those goals didn't pan out exactly how I wanted them. I started my 30 in 30 challenge, 30 consecutive days of working out for at least 10 minutes a day. I lost about 8 pounds or so.
June - July
The month started with a 5.5 hour hike through the Hocking Hills area and, while I struggled, I also surprised myself with my ability to endure. Suddenly the rock walls didn't seem quite so large and impossible if I just took one step at a time. I then experienced my first slow weight loss week following a bit of overdoing it on the hike. It was a lesson in not expecting the scale to give immediate results following extraordinary effort. I got back some bloodwork from the doctor and was placed in the pre-diabetic range, but also told that what I was already doing here at Spark would fix those problems if I kept at it. I had an interview in New York that I stressed major over, a return flight that made me feel, once again, like the fat woman nobody appreciated for her accomplishments and learned that no matter what I did, there were stereotypes against "fat people" that I couldn't completely escape. It was a lesson in outward appearances, inward emotions, and learning to let go of the expectations of others. I got my hair cut and was nervous about the short cut given to me, but soon realized that my hairdresser thought my thinner face could take a little shorter cut and it made me feel good to realize that I was displaying outwardly the progress I was making. I started to get tough with myself and demand more, setting higher expectations and realizing that I had the power to achieve them if I put in the time, energy and effort. I lost almost 15 pounds in my third month!
July - August
I started this month out just thinking about changes, seeing changes, and hoping for future changes. I ranted that three months had passed and I still hadn't dropped a pants size, and then had to recant when I realized that I actually had. I was down from a size 30 to a size 28 and feeling SO proud! I started to learn about how I could make healthy choices no matter where life put me. I could still allow my family the foods they enjoyed while I enjoyed the healthier options my body began to crave. At some point in July, I started training to walk that 5k, and signed up for the Debbie Green Memorial 5k in Wheeling, WV. I gained weight while still feeling changes in my body, and started to learn that the scale isn't always what we make it out to be. It was a lesson in letting go of the numbers and not letting them stop you from moving forward. I struggled with the idea that I was a "poser" for not running the 5k, but walking it, but then realized that I was training for walking in many of the same ways that a runner trains for a race - I labeled myself an athlete, with WALKING as my sport, and settled in my mind that walking and being good at walking was a FINE accomplishment and something to be proud of. I set out to make a month-long workout calendar and the drive to succeed in the fitness arena was born. I had training schedules and devoted myself to them, and I loved it! I joined the gym (after I gave up waiting for my insurance company) and added machine ST, regular Zumba classes, boxing, rowing, and the elliptical to my workout routine.
This month was a big month for me. My fourth month on Spark, I walked my first 5k, learned what it was to set a time goal (under 60 minutes) and meet it, learned what it was to push to the finish even when it hurt (and BOY did it hurt! Check out the race blog to see a picture of the blister I got in mile one that popped in mile 3! Brutal!). I met SPUNKYDUCKY and Spark became a part of my real life. I was made both Done Girl of the Day and Spark Motivator, and was given my first popular blog post award. It was amazing excitement rolled up with the fear of expectations of others encroaching upon what I *thought* I could handle. And what I learned from all of it is that I can motivate others by simply being me, by getting through the peaks and valleys and coming out the other side, by having bad days and pushing through, by trying and failing, by falling apart and putting myself back together, and by just staying true to the goals I set for myself and really being honest with myself about what I wasn't able or simply didn't accomplish. I learned a LOT about myself that month! And after my first 5k, I started training for a 10k, and I struggled with the 5-mile mental mark (probably much like I'll struggle with the 10-mile mark as I train for my half-marathon).
I reached the 50 pound total lost mark, losing about 8 pounds that month.
August - September
This was a very important blog to me. VERY important. I was so proud to see it make it to the popular blogs because I felt it was so important for everyone to see that sense of triumph. It was all about breaking through the mental barrier of 5-miles, but it was also about redefining myself and letting go of how I once thought of myself. The fat girl was one I had to let go because I began to realize that I no longer felt like the fat girl anymore. Yes, my body was (and is) still fat, I am still morbidly obese, but the inside drive and fire, the muscles I could feel under all that fat, were the body of a skinny girl coming to life. I looked at the mirror and I saw a different person, I saw the person I always wanted to be and I felt, for the first time in maybe forever, PRIDE in myself.
And while all the happy stuff was going on, I started a long struggle with the scale. It didn't give me what I knew I had earned. It wasn't showing the progress I could see with my eyes, and I declared battle against it, against the 360s, and against every expectation of a fat girl that the world had built up for me. And another word started to run through my head - "runner." It was something I truly wanted for myself. And the waiting to get there was killing me. I was ready mentally to take on the challenge, and I struggled with the fact that my body wasn't quite ready to respond to what I wanted it to do. I had to learn about taking the time to work to what you wanted, I had to learn patience, and I had to learn that I was seeing everything in the wrong way. I confessed that I still felt not a part of many of my Spark groups and friends because of the considerable amount of weight I still had to lose, and it took several people standing up to me and telling me not to discount or discredit their struggles for me to realize that the "woe is me" attitude was NOT getting me where I wanted to go. We were in this together - 20 pounds or 200 pounds, we are all fighting the same expectations and struggles against an addiction that is likely one of the most difficult to battle. You can't quit food the way you can drugs, alcohol or smoking, so we ALL are here to learn how to make healthy choices and make ourselves okay with food on an emotional level.
I walked a 10k with my son and realized that my body WAS ready for more, but I struggled with what MORE it could take and what MORE I wanted to give it. I'm still struggling with this, in a way. I started to learn about which exercises gave me the most bang for my buck and started hating long nights at the gym. It led to several times opting out of even going in place of spending time with my family. Suddenly, my family was becoming a major motivator and a major hinderance (I mean that in the best way possible). The word I needed (and still need) is balance. Month 5 was hard for this reason alone. I lost another 14 pounds or so.
September - October
Okay, you want the real hard dirty facts...here they are. Month 6 sucked. Major. But that sucky month, I think, has been the most important of all because it asked me to deal with the inside and really get down to the business of learning about where I started, what I want, where I'm going, what I've come from, and why I struggle so much with food. I had to learn to push through the excuses I fed myself to not work out, to not make the best choices, and MANY, MANY times this month, I have failed miserably. The excuse monster won more times than not, and I dealt with the thought that I couldn't go on fighting myself in a battle that I would lose either way. And then this thought hit me. As I considered giving up, I asked myself what I would be giving up. I asked myself what about my former life was so much more appealing than what this new life I had built for myself had in it. And do you know what I realized? Nothing. There is no "going back" because I don't want the life I had before. Sure, I could eat whatever I wanted and not think about exercise or food logging, but I was tired, sore, angry, anxious, upset, emotional, out of breath, physically exhausted, mentally drained, and my stomach was ALWAYS upset. I felt ashamed of myself around other people, so I lived as much of my life at home as possible. And I missed the sun and I remained miserable and testy. Sure, eating a chocolate cake tasted good, but I realized this month that I could have my WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, ACTIVE new life, and eat my cake too! It didn't have to be all or nothing, it didn't have to mean that I would trade cake for feeling good about myself. I could feel good about myself, enjoy my family more, enjoy myself more, and still have a bite of cake now and again.
So while this six month period signaled my big plateau as I tried to break the 350 mark, it meant the most to me in lessons because I learned that this WAS my life. There was not OTHER life to "go back" to, because there wasn't anything back there for me. THIS is where it's at, baby! And I'm riding this one all the way home! I'm not saying I won't struggle. Boy, will I struggle! But I know now that these struggles are much more worthwhile than the struggles I experienced before. And I'm stronger both mentally and physically than I ever was. I started to feel beautiful even though the scale didn't move. I would move my body in the bed and think, "Dang, my legs are getting small!" Dare I say it, I needed that plateau so that my mind could catch up to what my body was doing.
I struggled, and I got back up. I let go of my need for perfection, my need for immediate number results on the scale, and let myself realize just how far I had come and just where I wanted to go. I did the 5k I promised myself in month 1 I would do with my mom and sister, and I had a wonderful time. I met one of the Sparkies who inspired me in month one to dream a little bigger (RAVENSONG) and walked (and ran, partly) a race with her. And that word that I struggled with for so long --- "run" --- suddenly didn't seem so unreasonable. I had put in the time ST my knee and hips and I realized that while I felt soreness after a race, it was no longer unbearable and I could work through it. I ran even more of my 5k on Saturday and was surprised at the way my body responded more positively than negatively to the challenge. And I felt my spark renewed.
I lost a total of about 4-5 pounds this month, but I gained SO much more!
My wish for all of you Sparkies is that you enjoy continued success, and that you remember that the scale does what it wants to and that can feel horribly limiting at times, but the only way to truly be limited, is to limit yourself. Deal with the emotional challenges when those times come. Challenge what you think of yourself, who you think you are. Dare to dream of who you want to be a month, 6 months, from now. Sometimes we have to lose a battle to learn a lesson and win the war.
My wish for myself is 6 more months of learning, growing (mentally) and shrinking (physically).
* Drop to a size 24 pants (by Christmas)
* Finish at least 2 more races before the end of the year
* Train for a half-marathon at a 17 mile pace
* Let Spark's lessons filter into the rest of my life
* Try to not be so hard on myself
* Challenge expectations
* Change those cannots into soons
* Do what you do, and
* Never, never, never give up....
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Starting Weight: 466.6
SP SW: 416.2
Last Week: 350.4
Goal this Week: 348.4
Actual Weight: 348.0
SP Total Loss: 68.2
Total Loss: 118.6
I'm going to admit it, this week has been crazy. I stopped really logging because I didn't have much time to do it. I just ate what I knew was right, ate when I could and/or when I was hungry. As for workouts? Monday I skipped the gym and didn't do much of anything. It wasn't until just before dark that I took a chance and took the boys and Joey out for a training walk/run before yesterday's 5k. Tuesday I meant to go to Zumba, but instead went to see my boy at football practice. I missed last week's game and I missed all of my boys, including the Hubs. It was a lovely night just spending time with Hubs and the boys. Wednesday I was on my way to Columbus, OH for work. I worked out in the hotel gym that night, both cardio and ST. Nothing like my normal workouts, but I pushed a bit and made sure I put in some real time on it. Thursday morning I woke up earlier than I really needed to, and couldn't find a reason to NOT use that time to workout again. So I used the hotel gym, and my knee messed up. Friday I did nothing in prep for yesterday's race, and then yesterday was the 5k.
So, I went on autopilot and felt proud of myself for being able to do that when everything was going a little crazy. More importantly, I stopped thinking about my plateau and about what I couldn't do.
Today I woke up not expecting much other than a very sore knee, but nothing is as expected I guess. Sure, the knee is a little sore, as are my ankles and hips, but it's not unbearable. I'm super surprised! I know that walking and doing regular things on my knee after it pops out helps in heal better, but I had never run on it before. It's interesting to see that my knee is really liking the exercise on it.
So this week we're back on track.
Weight Goal: 346.0
Nutrition: 1800-2100 calories
Training for a possible 1/2 in March
That's right, I'm seriously considering doing a half next year and have set up a training schedule that will have me ready by the end of February (I hope!)
ST 3 days this week - M, W, F
This Week's Fitness Schedule:
Sunday - Rest Day, Short easy walk maybe
Monday - 2 mile training, full ST
Tuesday - XTrain: Zumba
Wednesday - 2 mile training, full ST
Thursday - XTrain: Zumba
Friday - Tennis, full ST
Saturday - 2 mile training
Tomorrow is my 6 month SparkVersary. 6 months! WOW! Here's to six more months of progress and learning, and to fitting into those 24s by Christmas! (I'm not giving up on that goal yet!) Today I am under 350 pounds and almost to 70 pounds lost. Sounds pretty darn good for 6 months of hard work, lessons learned and getting through the struggles.
Upcoming races I'm thinking about:
ACE New River Gorge-ous Trail Run & Walk 4.5 mile walk - October 23, 2010 - Oak Hill, WV
Toys for Tots 5k Run & Walk - October 30, 2010 - Morgantown, WV*
Indian Summer Run?? - October 31, 2010 - Athens, WV
Veterans Day 10k Run & Walk - November 6, 2010 - Wheeling, WV
Nick Caldwell 5k Memorial Run - November 13, 2010 - St. Albans, WV
Wilmington Turkey Trot 5k - November 25, 2010 - Wilmington, OH
Green Bank Turkey Trot 5k Run & Walk - November 27, 2010 - Green Bank, WV
Egg Nog Jog 5k?- December 18, 2010 - Cincinnati, OH
Running from an Angel 5k/10k - January 8, 2011 - Lake Mead, outside of Vegas**
Shamrock 1/2 Marathon - March 20, 2011 - Virginia Beach, VA***
Just a Short Run 8.1 Mile Run/5k Run/Walk - March 26, 2011 - Allison Park, PA
Cleveland Marathon (5k/10k/Half) - May 15, 2011 - Cleveland, OH
I'm not saying I'm going to do them all, I'm just looking at them and trying to remember what looked good or I've thought about doing. I may add more later.
* Hollynn - Did you see this one?
** A friend of mine wants to take me to Vegas for my birthday...I have a feeling I'm a little nutty considering the first thing I did was look up to see if there were any races around that time there. This is on my 30th birthday - wouldn't that be a great present to myself?
*** SPUNKYDUCKY is forming a team for this race and I'm thinking this might be a good 1/2 to do considering the support will be there.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Apparently I've caught the racing bug. Last week I gave you a race report from the Dayton Corridor Classic 5k, which I did with my family and Becky. This week was a promise I made to myself and Hollynn and Ron back in August after I finished my first 5k. The race was the Auggie's 5k in Wheeling, WV, which goes to support the Ohio Valley's SPCA.
Race #1 - My first 5k
Name: Debbie Green Memorial 5k
Date: August 7, 2010
Location: Wheeling, WV
Weight: 365.2 (the next day's weigh-in)
Biggest problems: Horrible blister on my right foot that took at least a month to fully heal, and the mental block of thinking "I can't do it" and "Walking isn't as good as running, I'm a poser!"
Highlight: Beating my under 60 minute goal and meeting Hollynn (SPUNKYDUCKY) and her husband Ron (PENGUITO)
Final Time: 57:21 (18:30 pace)
Race #2 - A race with Ethan
Name: Charleston Distance Run/Walk 10k
Date: September 4, 2010
Location: Charleston, WV
Weight: 356.2 (weigh-in the next day)
Biggest Problems: Mentally it was the 5 mile training mark and the idea of a HUGE hill in the middle of the race. It was also dealing with a hurt little boy when he didn't get a medal. (Which was later corrected by a Spark Friend and my boss.)
Highlight: Hearing my son say things like, "The only way out of this is forward." Oh, and the big fat cheeseburgers that we totally earned!
Final Time: 2:09:01.72 (20-21 pace)
Race #3 - A race with family (including Logan)
Name: Dayton Corridor Classic 5k
Date: October 10, 2010
Location: Dayton, OH
Biggest Problems: A lack of real training following my 10k and a sinus infection.
Highlight: Really bonding with my family throughout the race and racing with Becky (RAVENSONG)!
Final Time: 56:09 (18:09 pace)
Race #4 - Reuniting with SPUNKYDUCY, running, and a race with Joey
Name: Auggie's 5k
Date: October 16, 2010
Location: Wheeling, WV
Weight: 349.4 (according to when I got home)
So I tried my best to train a little for this race, but didn't really get in a lot of time. It's been a really busy week at work, including a trip to Columbus, OH for work on Wednesday/Thursday. Still, when we got to the hotel I ate a veggie burger and then changed for the hotel gym. (Great gym, but small. Still, they had TVs on all three machines, you can plug in your earphones and change the channel to whatever you want without annoying your neighbor.) I worked on running spurts here and there. On Thursday morning I did it again, actually running 1/4 mile straight at a 15 min/mile pace, but on my second running spurt, I felt pressure in my left knee when I landed on it. Once I got back to my room, it had popped out. So this morning I was past "loose" and onto a very sore and stiff knee, still I signed up to run this race and promised myself I would at least try.
We got to Wheeling a little later than I wanted, so I ran into the school in order to hurry up and sign in and get my bib (after my husband nearly ran me over with the car! *lol*). As I was leaving the bathroom I caught sight of Hollynn and suddenly felt much calmer. For some reason, this girl settles me. (As Becky did last week. Gotta love your Sparkies!) I headed out to grab my dog, Joey and figure out where the starting line was.
Shane, me and Joey before the race. SO glad I gave Shane my jacket before I started...I got warmed up super quick!
We were soon joined by Hollynn and Ron, who got to meet Joey.
Joey did pretty well in the big group of people until about 6 people wanted to pet him at once and he got nervous. I don't blame him! I would've felt surrounded and threatened too! He didn't snap or bite anyone, just growled once and did a lot of hiding behind me.
We started the race at the start of the gun (which scared Joey) and even though I started running with everyone else, I was soon left by myself at the back...the VERY back! *lol* I kept telling myself it was alright and that all I really wanted out of this race was the run a little and to hopefully beat 55 minutes (secretly hoping to beat 50).
Surprisingly, Joey slowed me down a bit. We had trained with key words, though, and every time I said "GO" he knew it was time to really move it. Unfortunately I had to tell him a million times, and he got REALLY confused when the front runners started passing us going the other way around mile 1. Still, I kept him on task and we passed the mile one marker who told us we were at around minute 17. (I checked beforehand, I needed to stay at about 17.5 to make sure I beat that 55 minute goal, so it felt good to hear that!)
We had to stop for Joey to relieve himself once, but once I passed the water station, Hollynn and Ron were coming back around and told me that the turn around was just ahead. I was jogging when I could, and when I couldn't, I was walking as fast as possible. I kept telling myself, "Go! Just go! Keep going!" The last 1/4 mile or so before the turn around, I was all alone on the course. I hate being last, but someone has to be there.
At the second water stop (the first stop, revisited), I didn't much need water, but Joey did...and the girl there wanted a photo of Joey. *sigh* We left the water stop and I took off jogging to make up a little time. Once I got to the 2 mile marker, the guy told me I was at about 34, and I thought, "I totally got this!" I did the math and realized that even if I did a 20 minute mile pace, or just a touch faster (which is now my comfortable pace) that I would beat my goal of under 55 minutes. So we went, and I thought about giving up, and I asked myself why I was doing this, and I was feeling so much pain in my knee, but I just kept moving forward. I looked down at Joey (who was also getting really tired) and said, "Look, even if we quit, we have to keep walking this way to get back to the car to go home. We might as well do our best and just finish this."
I walked most of the last mile as my knee was super tight now, but once I saw my kids and Hollynn running toward me, and Hollynn telling me I was going to beat that 55 minute goal I had, I tried to run again. But it hurt...a lot. And I apologized, but went back to walking, which Hollynn assured me was just fine. I turned the corner and I could see the finish, and I tried to run up the hill (what the crap is it with hills at the end of races? 2/4 of the races I've done have ended with an uphill. Seriously?!), which went VERY slowly, and ran across the finish line.
I don't remember seeing the clock other than noting that it wasn't 55 yet, but Ethan swears it said 52:32 (this race wasn't chip timed and I was at the back, so give me another few seconds! *lol*).
Hollynn and Ron were there once again to tell me what a great job I did, and that always feels great! And my kids and Shane being there telling me "Great job!" felt even better.
We did it again! Me, Ron, and Hollynn in that post-race glow!
I don't think I've ever sweated this much in a race before, honestly. That running really had my heart going. I'll need to drink a ton of water for the next 3 days just to refuel! *lol* When I started, my hair was completely dry...when I was finished, it was soaked! I had pit sweat, elbow sweat, chest sweat, knee sweat, and lower back sweat that was ridiculous! As for Joey? He was super, super thirsty!!
Me with 4 amazing boys who support me no matter what! I have a wonderful support group surrounding me every day and this picture will remind me that no matter what the scale says, what the 3 boys in this picture say is much more important to me.
Biggest Problems: The knee and a slow dog! *lol*
Highlight: Having another one down, running, and feeling that race spirit once again just being around Hollynn and Ron! We've already been discussing what's next.
Final time: 52:32 (16-17 something pace?)
15.5 race miles
4 races under my belt
3 Sparkies met
8 family members raced with (including the dog)
Plateau or no plateau...you can't argue with that progress and accomplishment. Plus, I've cut my time from 57:21 to 52.32.
Now...when's the next race? Mom's got a Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving she's considering. There's a 4.5 mile trail challenge walk next weekend I'd love to do. There is a 5k and a 10k I have my eye on for a "maybe" in November, and a 5k Egg Nog Jog in December. Plus, I'm seriously considering trying to train to walk a half, just to say I did, which means maintaining a 17 minute pace (or under) for 13.1 miles to beat the time restraints. No matter what it is, my goal is to just get better...slowly, but surely.
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