Wednesday, September 15, 2010
To all of you. Those who know me well, and those who don't. For everyone who stopped by yesterday to both console and yell at me. I WAS being a negative Nancy, because that's how I felt about the entire thing. I felt dejected. I felt like my body wasn't living up to my expectations for it. And, yes, I know how rediculous it sounds, but I felt like I was moving TOO SLOWLY!
Oh, and for the record - several of you actually made me tear up while I was at my son's football game last night (reading comments on my iPhone when he wasn't on the field). So, uhm, thanks for that. *dripping with sarcasm* ... *totally kidding* ;)
Your comments generally echoed the same general sentiments:
"Yes you can...maybe just not YET."
"Listen to the pain in your body and back off a bit, but don't give up entirely!"
"Just keep chugging along. You'll get there!"
"I've been there...it gets better!"
MENACE79 gave me some specific instructions to write down all the can'ts turned can this year. I hear you. Here you go:
Some can'ts...Now I can:
Walk a mile without breathing heavily.
Stand up from sitting for a while without feeling soreness in the joints.
Walking without constant discomfort.
Walk a 30 minute mile.
Walk a 24 minute mile.
Walk a 20 minute mile.
Walk a 18 minute mile.
Walk a 16 minute mile.
Walk 2 miles straight comfortably, at a steady pace.
Walk 3 miles straight comfortably, at a steady pace.
Climb hills without gasping for air like I'm going to die.
Climb rock walls and the side of cliffs without physcial support.
Hike for a mile in the woods.
Hike for 5.5 hours in the woods, with hills and streams and rock walls and the like.
Walk 4 miles straight, comfortably, at a steady pace.
Walk 5 miles straight, comfortably, at a steady pace.
Walk 6.2 miles.
Compete in a race.
Complete a 5k.
Complete a 5k under 60 minutes.
Complete a 10k.
Walk faster than my youngest son.
Walk in pace with my super-fast husband.
Ride a bike.
Spend weekends being active.
Garden for several hours without giving up and sitting down.
Understand that water refreshes body and soul.
Understand that good food doesn't have to be boring.
Encourage my family to be active.
Seek out ways to exercise, stay active, and compete.
Find the thrill in any athletic competition.
Hit a punching bag without looking like a fool and hurting myself.
Hit a speedbag with a regularly, semi-fast rhythm.
Row 2000m on the rowing machine in under 15 minutes.
Row the same in under 13 minutes.
Stay on the elliptical for longer than 30 minutes.
Stay on the elliptical for 45 minutes.
Complete 1 60-minute Zumba class without serious modifications.
Enjoy an aerobic class.
Feel like I have something to teach other people at the gym.
Batch cook on weekends for a health-full week.
Get my youngest to eat more vegetables.
Get my oldest to eat a ton of new foods, and make him prefer them over the crap.
Get my husband to get out of the house.
Be called a motivator.
Write things that others will want to read.
Provide opinions that will help others succeed.
Run for 60 seconds without hurting or feeling completely out of breath.
Did you see that last one? Yep, I said it. See, in my sea of can't I couldn't even see the clouds above. I couldn't recognize how beautiful the water was or even enjoy the sunlight on my face, because I was so busy feeling like I was drowning. But you all remind me something...I have a choice. Sink or swim. Give up or move on. Only I can decide how to proceed from me, but I have to decide TO proceed. What's that saying about how even if you're on the right path, you won't get anywhere if you're standing still? Very true.
So my cry of desperation yesterday was answered by all of you reminding me of the things I had forgotten. And I felt renewed and envigorated again. I felt ready to try something else. Ready to give way to a new idea, new patterns of thinking, new ways of training. Whether it's expanding upon that first run segment or shortening the run segments altogether. Whether it's going back to walking goals or trying still to accomplish this one thing I have wanted my whole life. Either way, I'll get there...eventually. I've got a few things to try still yet (and I'll let you know how they go), but when I exhaust those ideas, I'll return to what works, add in some hip-specific ST moves to my 3 times a week ST routines, and see what happens 10 pounds, or one month from now.
But I wanted to do one specific thing today. I wanted to thank you all for what you said, what you didn't say, and for slapping me out of it (some of you). A major shout out to:
Thank you all so very much for being the voice in the darkness, telling me that just because we feel pain, doesn't mean we're dying. Sometimes pain is our body's way of reminding us that we're still alive. And as long as we're alive, there will be time to go after dreams, even those lofty ones that take a good long time to reach. As one (or many) of you said so well - One day, one step at a time ...I'll make it there eventually. And then you'll get to read the CAN blog, because I promise there WILL be one! *lol*
To answer a few questions:
- No, I didn't get "fitted" for shoes. Haven't found a place around here that does that. Had to do my own research and determine the kind of shoes I needed. The new shoes feel amazing and I love them! If I do finally find a running store that does fitting, I promise to drop by and make sure my assumptions through online research were correct and, if not, buy new shoes to correct the problem. There is the added bonus that I got a Nike + senor and watch to go with my shoes, so I can now record both my walks and my runs! AWESOME!
- Yes, it's only in one hip. And I do have a few concerns that it might be something actually medical...so if it continues after a while I'll call the doc and get in right away. I don't have these pains while walking long distances, only from running. If I go to the doctor for any other unrelated issue, I'll point this out to her as well. I think I should probably go in sometime soon anyhow just to check in and to get some more heavy-duty ibuprofen! *lol*
- Uhm, yes, you have to understand that I don't RUN even when I run. It's stupid slow. I can seriously walk faster than I can "run." But it's a different feeling altogether...at least to me.
- C25K is a great program, and I've used it in the past...but maybe it's just not right for me right now.
- I have been training on the elliptical and I love that machine for the calories it burns for me! But it's not the same...there's not the same heel to toe action and whenever I try to make it more like running, I nearly fall off the machine! *lol*
- No, I'm not running on the treadmill. One of those things I will not allow myself to do yet. Period. I have no problem running in the gym or in front of people, but I know for a fact that I'm a little over the weight limit on the best treadmill at the gym, so running on it would be a major no-no in my head. I don't want to ruin the experience for everyone else. (That being said, I used to be 30 pounds over the limit, now I'm just 5 pounds over! Soon, my dears, soon...) Also, there is a part that scares me about doing it on the treadmill...the inability to quickly adjust your speed. One thing about the treadmill, you set it to do 20 minute miles and you're doing them unless you push that button...I don't think I have the coordination yet to run on the thing either. Let's just say, I have my reasons and there are plenty of them.
Finally, I have to say that I think the lack of finisher medals for walkers at my last race hit me a little harder than I let myself think it did. During my sob fest to Hubs I heard myself cry out "NOBODY cares about walking!" and an image of that moment, that empty feeling after crossing that finish line popped into my head. It wasn't right on so many levels. Because what all you said is true. I didn't realize I felt so strongly about it, but I felt like I was stripped of all manner and level of respect in that one moment! I felt completely inadequate. I had to defend myself in writing for why "JUST WALKING" should be recognized too. It was disheartening and humiliating, like much of my struggles with dealing with people and my weight have been. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with this information, but I just wanted to admit that my subconscious belched this up and I realize now that my negativity toward walking again has come from that place of rejection.
Anyhow, thank you all so much from the bottom of this here old heart. I really do appreciate the support and love!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
I hate that word. Like serious anger and venom spews from me when someone says that I can't do something. It's even worse if I'm told that the reason is because of my weight. It's just a "reason" I'm sick and tired of hearing already. I've been fat my entire life, and just about every doctor I've run across has used this one excuse or reason for almost all of my health problems. I swear if I got cancer tomorrow some of my past doctors would tell me that I got it because I'm fat. I don't know why, but I don't want to believe that this one thing can be the cause of everything that has ever been wrong with me throughout my entire life. Couldn't some things just be wrong with me because of my genetic make-up, or some other reason. Maybe one or two could just be a statistical fluke?
Still, I know there are some things that are because of my weight. My pre-diabetic status is because of my weight, my poor eating habits, etc. My poor fitness is because of my weight. And some of the things I can't do in this world is due to my weight (hello, weight restrictions!). So, yes, I accept that. But when I started this journey, I believed that there wasn't anything I couldn't do eventually...with enough work and training. I'd take it slow and eventually work my way to it. I thought it was the same with running, which is why I avoided it until now.
In the past five months I've increased my stamina and fitness level through walking, and I'm honestly in some of the best shape I've been in since high school. So, in my head, following walking an EASY 10k, I thought for sure I could try running...just a little. I had hoped it was time for C25k but I was fine with having to do week 1 for months. I was fine in my head with going very slowly. I had done this program back in 2008 as a way to train for a trip to NYC, where I knew there would be a TON of walking. I did weeks 1 and 2 for a LONG time, and I never got beyond that. So now that I'm in much better shape, I thought I could do at least that again and, hopefully, eventually, get to weeks 3 and 4.
So I tried. And the running part felt great, but in the third running segment I felt this sudden PULL in my hip and OW, OW, OW! I limped the rest of the way home. I've tried another time and walked some even when they told me to run. I was trying to take it slowly. My running was barely even running. So I thought that maybe I had the wrong shoes. And I researched for weeks, selected the right pair for me and they arrived today.
I was nervous today but I tried anyhow. The first running segment felt GREAT! These shoes are CLOUDS, baby! *LOVE* it! But then the second running segment comes around and within seconds of starting I'm feeling a little discomfort in my left hip again. GRR! I was frustrated. I knew I wouldn't be able to finish, but I had to check my posture. I tried leaning forward a little, I tried standing up straight, I tried seriously engaging my core, I tried picking up my legs differently, I tried everything I could think of and some things seemed to work a tiny bit for a second, and then the pain returned. The third segment came and I tried a few more things but the discomfort became real pain and I *had* to stop.
So, I guess that's it. I can't. Am I REALLY TOO FAT TO RUN? When will I be NOT TOO FAT?
I got on the elliptical and set it on the weight loss program, 28 minutes long with a 5 minute cool down after. It was a hard 28 minutes. I went from nearly crying to absolutely angry. I went from pain to feeling a good stretch in my hip. I went from wanting to just jump off the upper level of the gym to just wanting to give up and go home. I finished my workout, did 10 minutes of stretching, really focusing on my hip, and went home completely depressed. I held it together on the way home, but all I could think was that word -- CAN'T. I can't run. I know, I know, not yet. But for right now that still means CAN'T.
I got home and hobbled inside and collapsed into a heap on the couch and just cried. Hubs held me and tried to reassure me that I'm doing everything right, that I'll get there eventually, that all is not lost...but I just kept hearing that word -- CAN'T.
I have no upside to the blog. I haven't come around to a better way of thinking. I'm still tearing up while reading this blog because I feel like a big, fat failure. I can't run. It's all I really want right now and I just can't. And the only reason I can think of for this big CAN'T is my weight. My stomach is too big, and it causes too much pressure on my hip when I run. I don't know what to do to fix it other than wait until my stomach gets much, much smaller...which I constantly fear it never will. I'm scared I'll never get there. I'm not asking to run a marathon...I just want to run for like a half a mile...maybe 2 some day. But I can't work my way up to 1/2 a mile if I can't run AT ALL right now.
Scared. Annoyed. Frustrated. I wish there were a weight limit to running so I had a way to work toward it. But I don't ever know when I'll reach that point. I don't know how to work toward something that is so....out there. Something that is so vague. As for now, I'm just going to cry a "why-is-me" cry because I can't.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Thanks to ECLECKTIC1 I realized that this new challenge to stop smoking can be treated much like my new challenge of a healthy lifestyle was treated with Spark. Small steps of habit change. And it all started with logging and asking yourself tough questions about why you wanted to change and what emotions led to overeating, right?
All day I've spent every break asking myself those tough questions...
How does this make me feel?
Why do I feel I need/want it in my life?
What would I do if I weren't doing this?
What are my reasons for quitting?
And a thought occurred to me. Seven days can seem like a long time sometimes. Even 3 days can seem daunting. Three days of being on target, of being "perfect?" That's HARD! I know what you're thinking, 3 days is nothing! But when you're facing big challenges, 3 days can be rough. So I wondered how I managed this Spark thing when I started. I didn't jump on with the intent to lose 60 pounds in 5 months. No way, no how! I jumped in with a thought of, "Let's see what happens for one day."
Certainly it was in the back of my mind that this day could be the start of something big. But I left in there, firmly in the BACK of my mind. Just once. Just one meal. Just one day of being on. See what that feels like. See what happens.
And there was another thing I did that was different...it wasn't about "tomorrow" at all. You know the saying -- The problem with diets is Mondays. We all have those weekends where we say, "I've got to eat everything because Monday I start my diet." We eat our Big Macs and Super Size Fries on Sunday night at 11pm because "This is the last time I can have this!" But with Spark I didn't think that way. Nothing is off limits. I can have a Big Mac if I want to. I can even have some french fries. (Yep, I said it.) So not treating the weekend before like a last hurrah was a huge milestone. I started fresh on day one. I didn't expect perfection, and I didn't achieve it either. I just started logging what I was eating. I noticed I was making healthy choices anyways because I was logging and I didn't want to log a Big Mac and Super Size Fries. I wanted to log healthier options...even if it was a McChicken Sandwich and a Diet Coke instead of a Big Mac meal. Progress is progress right?
So instead of thinking, "If I can just get through those first 3 days..." (I've always heard that when you quit smoking the first 3 days are the most difficult) I'm going to start thinking, "If I can just get through this one time." All it takes is once. So starting right now, I'm going to say no to just ONE smoke break. Just one. I'll see how that feels and then see if I really want to smoke the next time or just say no to one more.
It works with all my goals actually. The idea of being on target all week was scaring me earlier. I'm coming off a weekend of rest...a weekend of doing pretty much nothing in the way of exercise. And what seems most daunting to me all the time is getting up early to get a workout in before work. So I made a decision. Just ONE DAY this week, I will get up early and workout before work. Just once. That's it. Just one day this week I will NOT turn my alarm off and go back to sleep. And every day I put it off, I'll be facing the daunting task of having to start over again tomorrow. Usually I have this attitude of, "If I don't do it now, I'm just going to have to do it later..." and that gets me going, because I want my later to be free of "have to"s.
As for today, I needed to buy something at the store. It's something I always buy name brand of because, well, it's better and it doesn't ever fail me. But I can put up with a little tiny issue when I'll save 3 dollars...that's what I told myself as I was pouting my way to the front with the on-sale generic brand. 3.99 vs. 6.99. I bought the cheap kind. So I can take comfort in knowing that just once today I saved myself 3 dollars. (And, if I want to get really picky, another 5 when I didn't buy the magazine I wanted, and another buck and a half when I passed by the Vitamin Water I wanted.) Take the small hits, make the small sacrifices, and it will add up in the end.
Just this once...
Monday, September 13, 2010
When I think about my goals for the week or month, they tend to be centered around the three major "F" ideas.
So as I spent yesterday, last night, and this morning thinking about what goals I wanted to set for this week, these three made major appearances.
I wasn't able to do any batch cooking this weekend. Let's face it, my weekend was pretty well packed, plus money is tight so cooking for the week seemed a little out of reach. Last night my mom solved a few problems by sending us home with some food from Ponderosa (my oldest son's choice for his third birthday event) so I have a couple baked potatoes, a chopped steak, and some grilled chicken for some lunches. I also have some salmon in the freezer, as well as some chicken that can be thawed out for meals. Add to that the peas and mushrooms I picked up at the market last week, and I'm pretty sure we'll have no problem making it through until payday (Wednesday). That being said, I'm starting my batch cooking plans for this weekend a little early. I spent most of the morning filtering through old blogs and writing down some meals the family loved that I had forgotten about. Later I'll trudge through the SparkRecipes I've saved and see what I've forgotten. With enough planning I hope to make it as cost-effective, and time-efficient as possible for me and the family.
The plan is simple (*HAHA!*), I'd like to get back to my regular workouts, and that involves burning about 600-700 calories a day. With the right machines and classes, I can get this in easily. But also in my mind is the fact that I have new shoes headed my way. No clue when they'll be here, but when they come I hope to try another bout of C25K with fast walking and jogging segments intertwined within the program. Even if I can do this once a week to start, maybe eventually I can move up.
Other fitness things I'd like to focus on:
Planks and Push-ups
Crunches and other Core work
Boxing and Rowing (my two little fun things for myself)
This is a constant problem for us. I'm still looking for higher-paid jobs, both internally and externally, but nothing seems to be happening. I've floated the idea of giving plasma as well as the idea of taking on a third job on the weekends, neither of which sound at all appealing. I feel like I'm doing enough already...but sometimes we have to work harder than we think we should for what we want. And our needs are plentiful! Needs: a new home, a new car for me, eventually a new car for Hubs, living room furniture, new bedroom furniture for the boys, and clothes for me are constantly needed (because as much as I love losing weight, it sucks not having the money to update the wardrobe!).
I know you've heard me say it before, but the easiest way for me to get more money is to simply stop smoking. I'm working through the mental barriers and will let you know how it goes. I keep reminding myself that I'm a formerly 400-pound woman who has somehow managed to walk both a 5k and a 10k, to hike 5.5 hours, and to completely change her eating habits from crap to good for me food! There should be NOTHING I can't conquer. One day, one smoke break at a time...right? I just keep telling myself, "If you stop now, you can have 400 bucks saved by Christmas!" Just think of that! 400 bucks! It's stupid and rediculous to waste money on this horrible habit when I've made such great changes for my health. (For the record, I hate admitting this to all of you. Somehow it's okay for me to admit how fat I am or how much I eat when I binge, but this stupid habit makes me feel like scum...still ...there it is, for all - including and especially me - to see.)
Goals for Week 22:
Cut it out!
Burn 600-700 calories per day.
Do planks Mon-Wed-Fri with ST routine.
Do 100 crunches Mon-Wed-Fri with ST routine.
Save every penny possible!
Get at least 2 boxing/rowing sessions in.
Bring back morning Yoga.
Plan grocery list for weekend batch cooking.
Use healthy ad-libs until shopping can be done.
Eat fruits and veggies this week! Like a LOT!
Weight goal for next week: 353.8 (-2 pounds)
FYI - Seems the 355 wasn't a fluke as I saw it (355.4) today again. If I can transition right back into what I know I could have a very successful week. Just a little over 5 more pounds and I'll be under 350!!! So exciting! I'm already considering goals for post 349.9! (It will likely be to get under 330 so I can finally go up and try my MIL's new Wii Fit.)
I have to say that one thing that held me together during these rest days is that I'm starting to see a change in the people around me. Both of my in-laws have started exercising and seem to like talking to me about it! *lol* We discuss things they can do and the benefits to their health (they are both dealing with blood pressure problems right now). I also had a long talk last week with my boss about her inability to lose any more weight even though she workouts every single day. Her problem? No switching it up. That's right, boys and girls, my boss has hit a major plateau and never considered that a change in the routine might jumpstart her weight loss again. She walks on a treadmill and I told her to start by changing just the incline for a bit, work her way up. We'll see how it goes!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Starting Weight: 466.6
SP SW: 416.2
Last Week: 356.2
This Week: 355.8
SP Total Loss: 60.4
Total Loss: 110.8
Quote of the Day:
“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.”
Ethan Quote of the Day:
When asked, "Why should Mommy eat healthy and exercise today?"
"Uhm...because you ate cake yesterday..."
Logan Quote of the Day:
When I asked Logan the same thing he said...
"To lose weight!" I asked, "But why today? Why don't I just do it tomorrow?"
Answer: "Because you've already lost weight! You ate cake yesterday and lost weight."
So I asked him why I can't just keep eating cake and lose weight and Ethan butted in,
"Cause it's fattening!"
*lol* It was a funny conversation. It was like the voices in my head but voiced between the three of us, and their thought was simple - there's no excuse I can come up with that will beat the "you'll lose weight" answer. They're right. They are.
Friday I went home and admitted to my husband that I used some of our savings to buy running shoes. He didn't put up much of a fight, just did a "hmph" kind of response. (MUCH better than what I expected.) I spent the rest of the night watching a nail-biting game between WVU and Marshall...a game WVU should have easily won but went in to too cocky and had to make it all up in the 4th quarter. I also baked cakes in between commercials and half-time. I did find out that Pillsbury now makes a sugar-free boxed cake mix (and it tastes wonderful!). I got to bed late after cake baking and frosting. I'll come back and post a pic of the Earth & Moon cake I made for my son. CRAZY! We had pizza for dinner because it was quick and cheap and already prepared. I'm not gonna lie, It tasted GREAT!! But I didn't feel so great the next day...
EDIT: I totally forgot, after I posted about my rest week on Friday, I walked to the farmer's market. It's not much of a workout anymore, but I had to go quick because I had short lunches last week. My body hated me and it reinforced my need for rest this weekend. Still, it was great to see all the fall stuff and I bought some WV-grown plums and 2 onions.
Then went inside to the whole foods market and restocked on granola, peas, and mushrooms and got a couple fig bars for the week.
Saturday we headed over to the park at 10:30am to grab a shelter for his party. I was completely bummed that only 2 kids out of the 24 invited actually showed up...but Logan had fun anyhow riding bikes with the two girls that did show up. His grandparents also came, and great-grandpa and they all seemed to enjoy themselves at the park. It was a nice day. Cool, no rain. Nice. We all sat around and ate veggies and fruit and then had some cake. I ate a small piece, with a tiny bit of chocolate (not sugar-free) and some of the yellow (sugar-free) cake. I tried to eat more but my stomach protested! Have NO CLUE how half the people at the party finished TWO WHOLE PIECES! (I probably would've done the same 5 months ago, though.) I ate a few chips for lunch while trying to prep for the party...I admit it. It was there, it was quick, and I was busy as heck. I did feed half of the small Doritos bag to the dog though. *lol* He had nacho cheese breath all afternoon and it cracked me up that I was sitting there sharing chips with the dog. After the party we rushed home for the OSU v. Miami game, which started off just as surprising as the WVU game. WTF, guys? Thankfully OSU pulled it out in the end and all was well. At halftime Hubs agreed to go out and get us something to eat...but I said "nevermind!" and had tuna sandwiches and vegetarian bean dip (with too much cheese! EEP!). Let's just say I ate halfway healthy (and much better than sending him out for Taco Bell or Pizza or McDonald's or something...) until I decided I should have another piece of cake. I couldn't eat all of it and didn't eat most of the frosting, but the damage was done. I don't feel so good today.
My body is trying to heal, but the more I rested the more ailments I noticed:
- my right thumb hurts. It's been hurting for weeks. No clue why.
- my right foot still hurts from the blister in early August at the 5k, which blistered in the new skin on the 10k even with the moleskin on it. It's getting better, though.
- my thighs were screaming, but they finally started feeling better yesterday.
- my hip is healing (finally!!). So far today no real complaints from it.
- there's a sore spot/bruise under my chin. WTF?
- my shoulder was hurting too on Friday...but it was feeling better yesterday.
The only exercise I did was prepping the cake (frosting a cake that big might've been the problem with the shoulder), decorating for the party, a small bike ride around the parking lot at the park (but Hubs' bike's seat hurts my hoo-hah!), a small jog back from the bathroom at the park (I wanted to know if my body liked jogging on grass better...it does), and about 70 crunches when I ended up on the floor of the living room for one of the games we watched (I got bored *lol*).
What I learned this rest weekend:
- No food I ate this week made my body feel good. I've felt like crap for 2 days and I'm totally done with that feeling! It's back to health foods as much as possible. I want my good tummy feeling back.
- It felt so good to just chill on the couch with the kitty and not feel overly guilty for not doing something. I was tired and worn out, and my body loved the rest.
- Skinny kids eat like skinny people. Overweight kids eat like me. Yeah, I learned that lesson and I'm gonna go back to eating like a skinny kid.
- Friend parties for my sons are overrated. I'd much rather save the $90 I spent on that party that 2 kids showed up to on the family. I kept thinking, "We could've taken a small trip or gone to the movies or gone hiking or something!" I think I'll be doing it differently next year.
- I still want to run. Yep, the desire is still there, and when my shoes get here I'm going to try them out...but I'm compromising with myself. C25k and C2F5k will combine. 1 jog segment, 1 fast walk segment, 1 jog segment, 1 fast walk segment. Let's try that and see if I still need to dial it back some.
- I miss my Sparkies! *lol* I stalked you all but I was so busy I wasn't able to really make the rounds and comment. I missed it.
Today is Ethan's game. I also get to see my Momma! YAY! She's coming down and wants to do lunch with Logan for his birthday after the game. I'm hoping Logan picks some place good where I can portion-control and not go crazy. I want to feel tummy-good on Monday morning! I also hope to get a small walk in later. If the weather holds out I'm thinking of taking the dog to the park and giving him some walk time. He's restless now that the weather is cooler and he really wants to go run around and play with us. But the other part of me is thinking SLEEP, SLEEP, SLEEP. We'll see what happens.
I'm also going to be thinking about my goals for this week. I know that I want to get back to the gym and really start working out...but I want to change my focus from fitness minutes to calories burned. I want to get the best bang for my buck from the machines. I can put 30 minutes in on the elliptical and burn a ton more calories than an 3 mile walk. I hope my shoes come soon so I can try them out, but if they take all week I'll just hold off on the C25k stuff until they get here.
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