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August Recap - September Goals

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Weight Calculations

Weight August 1st: 369.2
Weight Goal for September 1st: 361.2 (-8)
Actual Weight September 1st: 358.4
Actual Weight Lost in August: -10.8 pounds!

Body Measurements
(Aug 1st - Sept. 1st = Difference)
Waist: 52 - 49.25 = 2.75 inches lost!
Hips: 66 - 62 = 4 inches lost!
Neck: 15 - 15 = 0
Thigh: 27 - 26 = 1 inch lost!
Calf: 21.5 - 21.5 = 0
Upper Arm: 16.25 - 15.5 = .75 inches lost!
Total Inches Lost in August: -8.5 inches!!
EDIT: Oh, yea! And I went from a size 30 pant to a size 28. And I can fit into 22/24 shirts now instead of 26/28!


In August I:
* Walked my very first 5k!
* Met my first Sparkies (at the 5k)!
* Became more in touch with myself!
* Began training for a 10k walk!
* Walked 5 miles!
* Hit 50 pounds lost with Spark mark!
* Hit 100 pounds lost from highest weight!
* Found the 350s!
* Was voted Spark Motivator!
* Was honored with 2 Popular Blog Post Awards!
* Was named Done Girl of the Day!
* Took on co-captain challenge duties in Team 300 lbs. Plus!
* TIKI'ed it up!
* Joined the 10 by 10/10/10 challenge!
* Signed up for my first 10k!

So how did my goals work out for August? This is what I said on August 1st:
"So the plan for August? Keep at it. Work the nutrition goals you set for yourself in the beginning and get back on track with eating more fresh fruits and vegetables. Play time is over...time to work! (Though I can have fun doing it and then it feels a lot like play time.)"

I worked HARD this month! I challenged myself to the limits (and beyond, which made me sick last week...good to know where they are, though!). I fell off some days, but I kept getting back on, getting back up...and I discovered that THIS is one of the most important things! This life we've chosen doesn't come easy when we're surrounded by food shows like Man vs. Food, in which a man tries to tackle a meal large enough for 3 days worth of calories (at least!). Flip through channels and you'll find yourself bombarded with both modeling shows, things like Biggest Loser and Thintervention (sp?), and then Amazing Wedding Cakes and Cake Boss. What messages are we trying to send? Because if you read them for what they are it says: "Have as much cake and sweets as you want, but you had better stay stick thin, or you'll be punished, laughed at, and forced to overwork yourself thin!" How is that even reasonable to ask?

So yes, the journey is hard. Temptation is around every single corner. The path paved with good intentions sometimes leads to binging hell. The key is to push through. Do your best. Make exceptions. Forgive yourself for "slips" or don't even call them slips, just slip them into your day's nutritionals. And exercise! August was the month of exercise for me! And it was hard, I won't lie. At times it got boring (training can be, I've learned). But it is also extremely rewarding! I am stronger than I've been in a long time, and thinner than I've been in close to 8 years! So some credit must be given to exercise.

emoticon September Goals

emoticon Use your SP support, but pull from outside sources as well.
emoticon Forgive yourself your faults as you do the faults of others.
emoticon Keep planning weekly meals and cook on the weekends!
emoticon Try at least one new food/recipe every week!
emoticon When in doubt, resort to what you know works.
emoticon Weight Goal: 349.9!
emoticon Give yourself 1 or 2 days a week to just have active fun!
emoticon Work to improve endurance.
emoticon But don't let exercise rule your life.
emoticon Use the tools to figure out how to maximize your time/effort.
emoticon Continue to be the general in your own war!
emoticon Work up to a 1 minute plank. There. I said it.
emoticon Get back to biking! Try new things! Have FUN!

September will be a pretty light month for me. No training scheduled (unless I get a go ahead from the Doc to try Couch to 5k). I have one race scheduled this month - the 10k this Saturday. After that, I plan on using September to have FUN! Like a LOT of fun! I want to make sure that I don't spend all my final waking hours of the day in the gym, for crying out loud! I might try some more DVDs. I might try to start the 30-Day Shred and see how far I get. I'm also thinking my Yoga needs to come back. In a perfect world, I'd find a way to wake up just 25 minutes early to get in my AM Yoga routine before my day even starts, and I'm hoping that's something I can work on this month. Also, in a perfect world, this would be my last month in 28s...but I have no clue how fast this will go (because GETTING to 28s seemed to take SO LONG!).

Still...September is set to be a good, FUN month!

S - Stay active!
E - Exercise within reason!
P - Push-ups and Planks Challenge!
T - Take care of your body and mind!
E - Every day is a new day!
M - Music can inspire, drive, and soothe you!
B - Be what you always knew you were!
E - Enjoy yourself and your family!
R - Remember that this is a gift for you, from you, and that is lovely!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KNOWMOREBBK 9/1/2010 6:39PM

    As usual, you continue to inspire! Great goals kiddo!

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MAGPIE17 9/1/2010 3:28PM

    You did an AWESOME job in August, and I know you're going to BRING IT in September!!! WTG, Esther, you rock!

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1BIGDREAM 9/1/2010 2:30PM

    Love, love, love your strength and optimism! Go for it girl!

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ATROTTIER 9/1/2010 1:35PM

    You are awesome and so REAL and that is why I'm happy to have you as my spark friend! I feel like we are going through this journey together, love your blogs and the realism!!! You did fantastic this month! =)

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BOURNBABE 9/1/2010 12:55PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
Let's rock this September! WOOT!

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BAYBELIEVER 9/1/2010 12:24PM

    Great blog! I love the part about forgiving yourself as you forgive others! Very important but sometimes hard to do!

Sounds like you are having fun with your Spark program! Good for you!

I also wanted to be sure to wish you great success in your 10K this weekend. Can't wait to hear about it, and maybe see some pictures!!

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CBARRETT10 9/1/2010 11:36AM

  Great goals! Great accomplishments! Continued success for September!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FLWRCHLD97 9/1/2010 11:19AM

    AWESOME - you motivate me to keep on going when the going gets tough. I really enjoy reading your blogs and how you keep things honest. Thank you for that.

I know you're going to have a great month ahead of you, because you are a wonderful person! And it seems like nothing is going to get in your way emoticon.

Now, since you are going to do new things this month, I must figure out what new things I'm going to do... emoticon

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MEGSFITNESS 9/1/2010 10:16AM

    Hey! I love your background. Did you see that it has a paisley print? Lol maybe that's just me..
Also, I feel like such a sap because by the time I was finished reading this blog I felt like tearing up! This morning I woke up in such a "what's the point?!" mood. I slogged through an AM routine and made sure to pack healthy choices, but I was kinda "meh" about the whole thing. I know it's just because I had a carb-heavy day yesterday and it's going to take a minute to get back into it, but reading your blog makes that minute a -second-. I'm rarin to go and I'm going to rock this month :D

Have you got the 30 day shred? I found 2 copies when I moved =x ... I could mail it to ya.

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    AWESOME progress in August and great goals for September! YOU CAN DO IT!!! :)

- Michelle

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HEATHERALENE 9/1/2010 9:39AM

Congrats on all your progess so far!!! You're doing great! Good luck on your September goals... emoticon

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5KLUKAT 9/1/2010 9:17AM

    Your progress is great! I am now inspired to make a September goal blog as well. I don't know if the plank will show up on my list, but that is a great idea!

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COMPASSLOST1 9/1/2010 9:11AM

    Great goals!!!!!! And AMAZING progress. Your weight and inches lost are phenomenal. You should be so freaking proud of yourself! I especially love your "plank" goal.... Grrrrrrr... I swear, those planks are BRUTAL, but i KNOW you can do it! I'm up to 3 minutes! (Every second is torture... hahaha, but GOOD torture.) Can't wait to read about your progress!

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Counting Down the Minutes...

Tuesday, August 31, 2010 September! Yep, that's right. September is coming! It's almost here! I'm so friggin' hyped you have no idea! I'll have a blog post tomorrow recapping August (because I still have tonight, yo! I can't cut myself short!!) and setting some goals for September, but I just want to write about why September is so great! (This will be a great reminder when a day really sucks next month and I need to know why I wanted it to be here in the first place! *lol*)

emoticon FALL!
Oh, yeah. You heard me right! Fall is approaching! I can smell it in the air! I can feel it all around me. I absolutely *love* fall. The drop in temperature at night. The colors! The feeling of change. It's just magical for me! I'm reminded of a quote from You've Got Mail (yeah, most people hate this movie, but I'm strange and adore it!) "Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly-sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address. On the other hand, this not knowing has its charms." I wish I could send you all a bouquet of newly-sharpened pencils too! Another great smell. Another thing I completely love. (Yes, I mean pencils.)

emoticon WEATHER
Okay, you can say this goes along with fall, but I think it deserves it's own place. I can honestly say I don't remember a summer this humid in YEARS! I'm not sure if that's because there hasn't been one, or I just haven't spent this much time outside in the summer in YEARS. I used to hide, and now I play outside. Who the crap cares? I have only this one life, and I'll darn-well live it like I want! That being said, I don't know that I've ever sweated this much! I've never been this tan either, but OMG the sweat. For me, the first day I have to put on a jacket is a magical day (it happened a couple weeks ago...Hubs says my body temperature regulator thing is broken because I get cold quicker now! *lol*)! I love fall nights where you bundle yourself in a big cozy sweater by the fire, and I will absolutely LOVE hiking through the hiking trails without feeling like I'm going to DIE!

emoticon BIRTHDAYS
I don't know if you know this, but my son was born on 9/9/99. He's a special boy and I love celebrating both my sons' birthdays! Birthdays were always a huge deal in my house - mom showered us with love even when she couldn't afford much in the way of gifts. For one day we felt like queen/princess of the house. And I plan on passing that on to my children. There's something so special about feeling like someone is thankful that you came into this world. Not only that, but there are a whole bunch of other September birthdays too! And even MORE when I joined Spark! YOOVIE shares her birthday with my oldest neice, Tracy (September 4th - the day of my 10k in their honor!). My sister's birthday just makes it in on the 30th as well. It's also the return of the holiday day from work! July 5th we got a day off...and then nothing until next Monday! That's a long time to be tied down without some sort of break!

OMG there is nothing like the outdoor events in and around Ohio in the fall! While I have to wait a bit for the Circleville Pumpkin Show, the Ohio Renaissance Festival starts this Saturday and runs through October 17th! I'm so pumped! I've promised my kids a trip there for so long, but this year it's totally going to happen! Sadly, this will bring an end to the outdoor drama Tecumseh! - but I'll just put that on the list to take them to next summer. Still, I love being outdoors in the fall, so I'm checking out every event possible!

emoticon FOOTBALL!!!
Yeah, I said it. Not only does my son play midget league football (which makes his Mom and Dad, avid college football fans, so proud!) but we've got 2 great teams to watch this year. I was born and bred into the Buckeye (Ohio State University) fan club, and with Terrelle Pryor leading the way this year, it could be a magical season!! Also a team to watch, WVU (West Virginia University) has Noel Devine on the Heisman watch and leading the charge for this somewhat young, but full-of-promise team! This could surprise a lot of people, if only the magic sparks fly! I'm so friggin' pumped for this football season...and for the fact that I can (probably) finally wear my WVU jersey and the OSU sweatshirt bought for me last year that didn't quite fit! I'm gonna look HAWT! and stay warm too! *lol*

emoticon CLOTHES
Okay, this is my last one for now. I was thinking about this today as I went shopping (a bit about that in a minute) and I kept thinking - I just really want a big, chunky sweater this year. I know a lot of you are thinking that chunky sweaters are meant to hide (and what am I hiding? I'm looking better every day/week!) but, for me, I haven't been able to find a beautiful chunky sweater in so long! Why? Because being so big, the chunkiest sweaters simply "fit" me. I want to swim in a sweater this fall/winter! And as I shrink, the possibilities for that grow bigger and bigger! Now, not only can I choose what STYLE of chunky sweater I want, I can pick the color too -- not just "what's left in the biggest size!" (Also looking forward to a turtleneck this winter, now that my neck isn't as huge!) At least once this fall/winter, I will rock the tights/chunky sweater 80s throw-back, even if it's just at home while on the couch! *lol*

Shopping trip (@ CATO):

A pair of jeans, size 28, with orange detail and orange belt - $25

A pair of dress pants, light brown, size 28, with rope belt - $28

A purple shirt, size 22/24, with keyhole detail at the neck - $7

Feeling comfortable & gorgeous in a dressing room and realizing that 28s are already getting loose? - PRICELESS!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KNOWMOREBBK 8/31/2010 10:17PM

    I'm totally with you on fall. It is my absolute favorite. I love the feel of sweaters on a chilly day watching football. I'm right with you sister. I can't wait to make a big pot of turkey chili in the crock pot, put on my flannel bottom pj's and a big sweater and watch the Bears....lose...again. Decorating for Halloween... trick-or-treaters... Love, Love, Love Fall.


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LINDAKETCHIE 8/31/2010 10:07PM

    I am one of those people that loved "You've Got Mail" also. When school started back last week, I was thinking about that same quote from the movie. "A bouquet of newly sharpened pencils!". Hooray for Fall, and hooray for all you have to look forward to in September.

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JEREMY723 8/31/2010 9:20PM

    Your son and I share a birthday, different year of course. I thought it was cool even with a different year, must be really cool to have that birth day and year as well:)

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ANELAKANOA 8/31/2010 5:24PM

  Always love your blogs! I am so excited for the fall too! I LOVE working outside so much more in the fall, plus raking leaves is such good exercise. I am also an avid football fan. I love the Wisconsin Badgers (since I'm from WI) and on Sunday's I love watching football with my dad. Glad to know there is another female that likes it as much as me:) Have a great Wednesday!!!


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TEAWONDERFUL 8/31/2010 4:50PM

    I love that movie. I thought it was cute. Anyhow, I love fall too. I use to really enjoy it when I lived in Ohio because I could watch the leaves change and all.

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PELESJEWEL 8/31/2010 4:47PM

    Go you! Finding great clothes always makes me happy! I love your joy to usher in September! Great way to set the month off on a positive vibe! Go girl!

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    Fall is my favorite season! I LOVE watching football on Sunday...eating chili all cozy with a sweatshirt and blanket! Your blog is making me ready for the season!

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REDTHREN 8/31/2010 4:02PM

    First, I love Cato. WTG on loose 28s!

Second, LET'S GOOOOOOO MOUNTAINEERS!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KITHKINCAID 8/31/2010 3:23PM

    Thanks for the Fall Preview!! Who doesn't love this season? OMG I'm so excited for new clothes and cooler weather!

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MAGPIE17 8/31/2010 2:45PM

    Now I'm looking forward to fall, too! It's one of my favourite times of the year. I definitely need to scrape together some cash to go clothing shopping, though, as the only clothes that REALLY fit me now are my new summer ones....what a problem to have! If only I had money!!

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MEGSFITNESS 8/31/2010 2:40PM

    This whole entry just gives me those happy feelings lol thanks for sharing! I'm sure September is going to be awesome for you :)

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Stupid Cryptic Expiration Labels!!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Yesterday was battle day 2 of Battle 2. I had my head on straight. I wasn't totally "feeling it" but I was faking it like it was my job! Everyone here at work would've thought I was having a lovely day and I think I deserve an Oscar for the acting I did! By lunch I had faked it so much I even started to feel it...and then it hit.

Around 2:30pm the tiny tummy ache that had been growing (and I thought was just TOM pains) grew to a full-on stomach issue. I tried ignoring it. I tried (TMI) using the bathroom. I thought it was gas for the longest time, but I could NOT get it to go away! (Can you say frustrated?)

Anyhow, by 5:30pm I was wondering if I should still go to the gym even though all I wanted to do was crawl in bed...but I made myself put on my gym clothes anyways. I laced up my tennis and, for a moment, felt much better. I was going to do it! All the way home I bargained with myself. I considered ditching the gym and just heading over to the park, that way I could back out if I needed to without feeling like a total douche. Also I knew that if I had to yack, I could do it at the park without as much embarassment as if I was in the gym and yacked on all the equipment. About 25 minutes from home this idea (the park, not the yacking) was sounding better and better. Getting out, enjoying the sunshine, walking with my boys. It all sounded great! And I could do my 2 miles there, and it would be much better training to do it outside on the pavement then inside on the treadmill. I made up my mind, the park it was, and I diverted to home base.

And on the last hill home my stomach turned again and all I could think was -- NO! Seriously, there was no way I was doing anything exercise related when I wanted to curl into a tiny little ball (errr...huge ball) and die (or yack). So I went home disappointed (disappointment faded soon when the pain increased). I went home, I stumbled in taking only my purse (left all my other bags in the car...thankfully my wonderful boys went out and got them all for me!) and crashed on the couch. I was in SO MUCH pain! But I knew I still had things to do...

I got up and finished the Beef & Root Vegetables meal and put it in the crockpot to cook for 12 hours. Then I started water for some pasta for the chicken parm. (Thank the LORD I had dinner almost completely made!!) I heated up the chicken parm, put it with the pasta and some sauce, sprinkled it with grated parm, stuck some breadsticks in the broiler and served everyone dinner. I decided to try to eat, and that didn't seem to be too much of an issue until I was done eating. SO MUCH PAIN! I just laid on the couch until Hubs pulled me up around 9:30pm for bed.

It was NOT a good night. Took me forever to fall asleep. And the one thought plaguing me (okay, a few):

Please do not let this be a hernia!

I've had one other occasion where my stomach started hurting and wouldn't stop...and I nearly died from obstructed bowels from a massive hernia. BAD week! BAD, BAD week! When I spoke those words aloud, even my husband got scared.

I also went to:

"Why am I being punished? I've been SO GOOD lately!"

I always do the "why is me" routine when I'm in pain. *shrug* I turn into an 8 year old or something.

Anyhow, I woke up this morning a little better, but still feeling a bit of pain/pressure. It wasn't until this morning that my photographic memory flashed me a picture of the top of the strawberry preserves I used in my yogurt yesterday and I realized the date said "best used by" February 2009! Are you friggin' kidding me? (BTW - I hate these best by dates because they have a tendancy to be a little cryptic. I obviously looked at the top and thought wrong or didn't care or wasn't really paying attention or something...) So I think (I'm HOPING) that it's only food poisoning. Thankfully I only ate a small bit of it, so I think that's why it isn't that bad. (I've had food poisoning before that made that girl from the Exorcist look like a friggin' sissy!)

My stomach is SLOWLY settling down...and if it continues I'll feel much better about the whole situation. Last thing I want is to end up in the hospital the week of my 10k, or worse, to have to miss the 10k completely! (This is one of the most expensive races, G-D-IT!)

Plan for the day is simple. Eat only what my stomach can handle. Drink lots of water. Use the bathroom regularly. And try not to stress over something it might be but probably isn't. (Have I told you guys that I used to have severe hypochondria? I could make myself sick if I thought about this too long. Seriously, I can manifest actual physical abnormalities if I mentally will it to be so, or at least the pain of such. -- This is one reason I know how powerful the mind is!)

The scale this morning said 359, but I'm sure that's just because I'm bloated from this...issue. I ate pretty well all day, even if I didn't get in an actual workout. I'm not even counting today's weigh-in for our challenge and using the 358.4 from yesterday (and the day before) me that is in no way cheating, because I know that I'm sick and my body can't be counted on to weigh normally.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ATROTTIER 8/31/2010 1:33PM

    I hope you feel better girl - take it easy, you'll make it up!! I hate best by dates too, WTH? I hope it's just that too so it can pass soon. emoticon

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HEATHERALENE 8/31/2010 12:06PM

    emoticon Hope you get to feeling all the way better. Sick tummies are HORRIBLE!! To me, that's one of the WORST feelings in the world!

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BOURNBABE 8/31/2010 11:39AM

    Hope you continue to feel better!

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MAGPIE17 8/31/2010 11:23AM

    Hugs, honey! Hope you feel better soon!

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RAVENSONG37 8/31/2010 10:13AM

    AWwWw.... emoticon Get it all out girl and feel better!

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HEALTH-E-CLARE 8/31/2010 10:00AM

    I let some things go past the expiration date, except for meat and dairy (unless I freeze them). I'm crossing my fingers that it's slight food poisoning and nothing worse (although I feel bad hoping it's anything).

Rest today, eat your bland foods and you'll be back in the swing of it in no time!

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RANGERRUNNER 8/31/2010 9:24AM

    I have to say I agree with NJorchids. I throw it out as soon as the date is up! I too have had food poisoning and DO NOT want to get it again! Gosh, I hope that that is all that is was and nothing serious. And I'm glad your feeling better!

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  I'm a nut about throwing things out after their expiration date. My MIL, when she moved in with us, brought stuff from her house that had expired a year ago...and fought with me over how it was still good (xxx never goes bad!).

Bull sh!t.

If it's past the expiration date, I'm pitching it, no matter if I only opened it last week.

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More Confessions

Monday, August 30, 2010

Confession #1:
I want to run. I want to say that I'm a runner, but more importantly, I want that feeling of running. I was never much of a runner because I was always told that fat girls shouldn't run. Had Spark been in my life when I was about 15 I would've told people to F-off and would have run anyways, but it wasn't, and I didn't. No going back. Now that I'm getting in better shape, I still have this almost heartsick urge to run. Nearly every day this thought plagues me.

Oh, I can hear you all now. "So you want to run? Then run! Stop with the excuses!" But since my knee surgery when I was about 16, and the following additional weight added to my joints, my left knee is absolute crap. I have tried to run (and loved every second of it!) but it's always followed by one of my knee-popping incidents. And I hear the same thing over and over - don't run. *sigh* I'm so SICK of hearing that I shouldn't run.

What I want to hear is that I CAN run. I want to hear how to fix the problem. I want to hear that there IS a way to build the strength in my knee so I can run again. I want to hear how you can wrap a HUGE knee so that you add stability, without the wraps rolling up and 1) being completely ineffective and 2) causing pain and rubbing to the back of my knee. I want to know in some sciency way how I can get around this problem and achieve my heart's run.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to run super-fast sprints. I don't even need to run fast. "Wogging," as some call it, is quite fine with me. But I WANT to run. Do you know that I have this distinct fear that I will be in a bad situation one day and won't be able to run away? How crazy is that? But I still think about it. I had hoped that once my 10k training was done I could start the C25k program and PERHAPS run my 5k in mid-October...even if I was really slow! But still, I don't know how to work my way around the knee...and my choices are to 1) go for it anyway and risk injury or 2) resign myself to walking for now, or possibly - forever!

Confession #2:
Sometimes I wonder - How sore am I supposed to feel? Is this enough? I've read a million fitness articles in my day. A million and one, probably. And all of them talk about that good sore. I know the difference between the two (good sore/bad sore) thanks to last week, but now I'm struggling with - how much do I do on sore muscles?

And this foot thing...the new skin that hurts a bit. How much time does that need to heal? Will I be ready for Saturday? What do I cover it with? What do I do if it starts bleeding again? Do I risk having to have my friggin' foot amputated if I push too hard? (Yeah, I'm weird and do actually think these things.) Can you put moleskin over new skin or would that be a bad idea?

Let me explain, the old skin that was removed was tough skin that I could easily say was an inch thick (because I have hardly any visual interpretation of actual measurements *lol*)! What I really mean is that there is a small "dent" in my foot now between the old tough skin and the new skin. What the crap? Will this level out or will I always have this strange hole in my foot? *sigh* I'm confused.

Confession #3:
I keep my real life and my Spark life separate. Don't get me wrong, I love meeting Sparkies IRL, and I hope to do more of it. But many of my IRL people just can't take the amount of honesty I have vowed to keep here on Spark.

Today, I broke this rule. I invited a friend from school to Spark. She started running this summer and has worked herself up to 5-6 miles! She's trying to lose weight, she admitted today, and so I sent her a message on FB and invited her over here. No clue if she'll take the opportunity, but I put it out there. I broke my rule and let my real life bleed into Spark a bit. (Except for my Momma, who I told immediately because I can trust her with just about anything! *lol*)

Do you guys do this too?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BAREFOOT-LISA 8/31/2010 11:48AM

    I'm sorry to hear about your knee! Of course, I'm all sorts of hypo paranoid so if my docks says don't run, i'm lucky if I'll walk! But I would just ask about strength moves for the knee and try to build it up to Run ready! YOU WILL RUN! Just make sure you aren't doing damage trying to get there.
As far as RL vs. Spark.. I tried it. It failed. My best friend is unhealthily obese. It breaks my heart. She is in my wedding in a few weeks and we had to go to the davids bridal several times because none of the dresses fit. We ended up buying 2 and having a seamstress use the second to add to the first. 2 years ago when I first started spark, I invited her. She tried a little for about a month, even bought an elliptical, which is now a clothes rack. She knows I am active on the sight again and have lost nearly 20lbs, but she says it's just too hard and I know better than to push her. So knowing this now, I am glad she is not on the site because I would have guilt issues with my success. Sorry for the long story there!
HOWEVER, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to meet fellow sparkies in real life. I need people who are aware of their health in my life, because unfortunately no amount of me trying to spark others has worked out.

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BOURNBABE 8/31/2010 11:34AM

    emoticon I pretty much keep Spark separate from all but my close friends. But then, I'm kind of a hermit a lot and will go long streaks without seeing many people. One of my best friends is a Sparker though. She's why I'm on here, so I can't say I keep quiet about it on purpose.
You tried talking to a physical therapist that specializes in sports injuries? I know doing ST to strengthen the knee will help, but a specialist whose had to rehab a lot of athletes might have some tricks up their sleeve.

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FLWRCHLD97 8/31/2010 11:21AM

    These are probably dumb questions, but for confession 1 & 2, have you talked to your doctor about your concerns? Your doctor should be your best reference for the answers you seek - hopefully you have a doctor you like and trust. Or, if not the doctor, maybe a nurse at the office is someone you can talk to? When I have questions, and the doctor is busy, I usually talk to one or two nurses in the office, they are very helpful and nice (and will let you know if they need to refer the question to the doctor to answer). They are just a phone call away, no need to even go in the office...

For confession 3, with the exception of my husband and one friend, I have kept my personal life separate from SP. Once I feel confident enough in myself and that I will be sticking with this new way of life, only then will I share SP with others that I feel would benefit from this awesome-ness. I just want to be totally honest on this site too and I am afraid/have esteem issues that I need to deal with before allowing my real life in...

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_MSAPRIL17_ 8/31/2010 11:14AM

    Oh yeah, I totally do that. I try to keep Sparkworld and real world separate. In fact, I struggle with wanting to put my page on private a lot because I don't necessarily want my boss or some other random IRL person to stumble across my page and see how much I weigh or what I ate today....that and the stuff that I put in my blogs too. I guess that I am being a hyporcite though b/c it IS the web afterall, right? Ugh.

Re: Being sore...I think that unless you are in a ton of pain that you are probably the right amount of sore. It's obviously hard for me to tell, not being you and all, LOL.

Re: Running. All I can offer here is to take it slow and easy. Your endurance will build, but please don't push it. I don't care if you are big or small, if you push yourself too quickly you will get injured. It sounds like you have a good grasp on this, but are getting antsy and want to kick it up a notch. Keep it slow and keep it calm. It will only help you in the end.


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1BIGDREAM 8/31/2010 10:47AM

    Do you know about Karvey's Running While Chunky team? They can help with a lot of your running questions, I'm sure. Don't give up! When I first started, I was having trouble with my knees, but I made a concentrated effort to do ST on my legs, particularly quads, hamstrings, and calves, and I think that helped. Start with walking and take all the time you need to work up!

As for keeping real life separate from Spark, I have 3 friends on here, and sometimes it's not easy to be as honest as I want because it would be nice to have complete anonymity. On the other hand, I've started adding Spark friends on my Facebook page, and it is nice to get to know people a little better, and have extra support and accountability!

Good luck!

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MRSSIBRAT 8/31/2010 10:41AM

    I know exactly what you mean. I had knee surgury on my right knee and have sprained my left knee and was always told I should run..and I wantedd to run so bad! I would have dreams where I was running and I was so happy I was just chilling running and then I would wake up and be like oh crap..I really cant. Then one day my husband invited me to go to the track with him and I ran a half a mile...which was more then I have ever ran in my life!! When I saw that I could do that..I knew I could do whatever I put my mind to. Don't get me knee kills me every single time...but it gets better after the first half mile...Remember your mind is stronger then your body....if you tell yourself you will!!!

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ANEILSON 8/31/2010 10:37AM

    I hear you when you say you almost have a heartsick urge to run....I felt the same. I wanted to say I'm a runner and I am, but just not in the traditional sense right now. I don't run for miles straight....for me I only run for a minute at a time then walk for a minute, but am working my way up to becoming a runner. Sorry to hear about your knee, I wish I had some advise to offer you.

As for keeping your real life and spark life separate...I'm the same way. Its not that I don't want to spread the spark....I do but just not with my real life friends because...well like you I'm not sure how some of them would take my honesty (more for me my I do and have spread the spark with acquaintances (not buddy buddy friends) who are looking to loose weight and have asked advise from me because they see that I have lost some weight. But most of my real life friends I don't talk about it too much with them. Sure I've told them that I'm on Sparkpeople and that I love it, but haven't said hey why don't you join.

Good luck on your journey and I hope that someday you can say you're a runner too.

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RAVENSONG37 8/31/2010 10:20AM

    All I have for you is hugs!

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THREEE 8/30/2010 7:23PM

    we are so alike AND so different...
knees/running has already been well-addressed...
and i think the neosporin/bandaid/open air is the best blister advice...

IRL to SPARK? i think if you would be muffled in your expression with bringing RL people to this site, DON'T do it...
i've thought about it myself, but i've talked up SPARK to anyone either asking about my progress or needing support...those trying to quit smoking because they know the pounds may creep up(or PILE on emoticon)with this new endeavor and a friend who is not working and her pounds have come on(she used to be one of the committed-to-exercise-type people)...and i HAVE been hesitant that they might read my OPEN blogs, but this has helped SO much, that i won't let that stifle me...

and, one other thing...i think you've talked about bicycling and, to me, bicycling is THE best...i loved it when i was 148# and i lOOk forward to outdoor cycling in a couple of 'decades' of lost pounds hopefully in the near future...i love the challenges of the hills and the FUN of the coasting down those same automatically makes me smile...TO ME, i would get more endorphins than ANY day of running except when it was in a game(i loved basketball, but i was never FAST, but it was fun) ...i would TOTALLY suggest to get a specialist to suggest some exercises for rebuilding/strengthening all of the surrounding muscles to keep them from popping...and be SURE you do them with proper form...i wish you the best in that endeavor as the wind in your hair IS exhilarating ... emoticonor emoticonkeep at it!!! emoticon

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BECKYB73 8/30/2010 5:30PM

    In regards to your knee, what was the nature of the injury that required surgery? I have been concentrating on strengthening my knees, because I have an injury from two years ago that sometimes feels vulnerable.

I do step ups, lunges, leg presses and squats primarily. The step-ups are probably the hardest/best. My physical therapist who helped me rehab after my fall, told me that the best way to recover and stabilize a bad knee is to strengthen the muscles above and below it. So that's what I do.

I showed a big dog yesterday, which required a bit of jogging and had no knee problems at all. So something is working. Another big part of strengthening your knee is that you have to stop listening to the voice of fear and doubt that tells you that you can't. Once you get out of your head some really awesome progress can be made.

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NICA131 8/30/2010 4:49PM

    I have to agree with the water jogging/walking/wogging for your knee, low impact, and works better than one would think. The knee must be strong for it to "run". I used to be a runner (many many many moons and pounds ago), blew out my knee and gave it up because I couldn't get back fast enough. Ended up doing more damage than the "rush" was worth. I am just now starting to try to get back into the running swing but it is a struggle each and every day. Go slow ..... the tortoise always wins in the end.

I keep RL & Spark far away from each other. I made that mistake on a different site and some how my RL friend turned into my internet stalker, it was creepy. So never again

Comment edited on: 8/30/2010 5:10:51 PM

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LUCYSUNFLOWER 8/30/2010 4:45PM

    I dearly love and need your honesty!!

On Confession #1 - hang in there. I think sometimes in life we have desires that we cannot necessarily act on right away. Your desire to run does not match your current body and abilities - BUT you are basically training for it anyway. I think you just need to hang in there for the long haul and your knee will get stronger, your body will continue to shrink and then you will run with much more benefit and less discomfort. Channel your passion and pace yourself!

Confession #2 - sore is good, but driving yourself beyond it is not good. I think because we all interpret pain differently you'll need to experiment with this and see what works and what doesn't work. If you are really sore then your muscles are holding water from being injured and that won't be a happy thing on the scale! As for the hole in your foot... it took a while to build up that tough skin, so it may take a while for the hole to fill back in! Yowza...

Confession #3 - YES, I totally separate my "real" life from Spark!! My family is not a safe, trustworthy group and I need Spark to be my safe place. I am really ME here, but I do not want my IRL friends to know how much I weigh, how hard I'm working to weigh less, etc. If I need to think out loud or emotionally bleed, I come here! You lucky people, you...

Every time I read one of your blogs I just want to hug you and say thank you, thank you, thank you!!!


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JECKIE 8/30/2010 3:51PM

    I know what you mean about running. My knees are SHOT (surgery last year - I love my surgeon with all my heart for the miracles his hands can create). I love to run.

I would talk to a doctor of sports medicine. My doc knows I'm really active, so he specifically taught me exercises to strengthen my legs in a way that would support my knees and give me what I needed to keep active. And they work.

I don't invite non-Spark people to Spark, either, by the way. In a way, I feel bad about it because some people I know should hear what is being said here. But it's those same people who encourage me to do things I know I shouldn't "just this once" or "it's vacation so it doesn't count" etc. So... I keep my efforts to myself. Just works better for me that way.

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  My husband knows about Spark and that's it. Selfishly, I feel like it's my little haven and I don't want anyone else to know I'm apart of it.

I don't know about the skin.

I try to be a runner all of the time, but my knee injuries and back issues don't always like me for it. I'll let you know if I conquer them.

Oh! And, for the last set of confessions: I was really, really, really hoping that after this weekend's shopping spree, that SOMEONE IN MY EFFING OFFICE would notice I've lost weight - because I previously decided that it's because I was wearing the same clothes that they didn't notice...did they notice? Nope. Not a one. There's 3 other people in my office today and I talked to all of them face to face, standing in front of them and even mentioned one said anything. People are stupid.

I lob you though.

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    I am with you on the running.. When I started my journey at 310, and I had lost my initial 5 pounds... while walking I would get this urge to take off running... and I did a few times.. I realized very soon that I couldn't do much at all. And, my body reacted in a bad way.. My shoes weren't the correct supportive kind... and I decided to walk more before I tried to run. After about 15 more pounds, I decided to try again, and for a whole solid week I did running and walking intervals.. I LOVED IT!!! Then that weekend.. my knees went crazy and kept giving out on me... I decided to go back tow walking, and choosing a few days a week to run.. fast forward to this past weekend.. I was running my heart out, and It felt amazing... mind you, I am 38 pounds lighter, but that makes a huge difference to your body...

If you have knee problems.. I would say wait until you are light enough that you dr says its okay.. that is a lot of stress on your knee... The last thing you want is to injure it bad enough to put you out of commission and lose your ability to move and work out...

About blending the real life with the online.... I encourage everyone I speak with who is interested in losing weight or getting active to join... they don't have to add you in order to get the benefits... spread the spark!!!! You are doing amazing, and I am so proud of you..

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COMPASSLOST1 8/30/2010 3:37PM

    Oh my gosh. These confessions are wonderful. I feel the saaaame way. I understand completely about the running thing. I, too, want to be a runner. I am slowly working my way up there and I am doing pretty well, but it has taken me a very long time to be able to run without walking, and I can't imagine how hard it is for you with a knee like that. Have you tried talking to specialists? Or your doctor even? I HATE it when people tell me I can't do something. It just makes me want to prove them wrong.

As for the soreness thing... I find that I have been working out pretty aggressively since January and I don't remember a day when I wasn't sore.... I can never understand how people on weight loss shows never talk about the PAIN! I am in constant soreness, and it doesn't always feel good! I know "Pain is weakness leaving the body, blah, blah, blah" but honestly, some days I would just like to be able to get out of bed without feeling like my legs were going to fall off.

I have found that the only thing that helps with the muscle soreness is more exercise. It sounds ridiculous, but honestly, when I'm working out, I don't notice it anymore. The only time I'm pain free is when I'm creating more pain lol!!! Be proud of your sore muscles, that means that what you are doing is WORKING!

I have been grappling with letting my IRL friends onto SP as well... I just recently have 3 very, very close people in my life who have joined spark as well and I don't know how I feel about them knowing this much about me. I feel like us Sparkies have an intense bond and can share so much about ourselves BECAUSE we are semi-anonymous. We can be completely honest about our feelings and fears because there is always someone out there that is going through the SAME thing. We speak to each other, we have all been in the same position and we are insanely supportive because we are all going through the same hard journey.

So letting in people whom we have known in person know the deepest, darkest parts of ourselves it HARD.

Whew! This comment is crazy long, sorry if I am going on too long! Just know that you aren't alone in any of the things you are feeling and if you ever need to talk, I'm always here!!!!!

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KITHKINCAID 8/30/2010 3:37PM

    I have a really tough time mixing Spark and RL. The only points I haven't earned on my start-up page are for linking my Spark and Facebook accounts...won't do it. I really feel like I need my privacy here on Spark until everyone in the world knows I'm losing weight because they can see it anyway - then my decision might change, but I don't think it will. I don't appreciate when people get all "up in my grill" about losing weight, so I'll probably keep it quiet. I get the attention I need here on Spark from fellow warriors, and that's enough for me.

Maybe you can "wog" on the elliptical?? Would that hurt your knee? Sort of the same feeling as running but easier on the joints. Just a thought.

And the foot will heal. You'll grow new callouses. I have to tell the pedicure people not to shave mine down so that I can keep that tough skin. Otherwise, the first time I run or walk after getting my feet done, I get new blisters. Ugh. I'd use moleskin - but don't build it up too much or it will give your foot something else to rub on and you'll get another blister inside the blister - and that's the WORST.

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MEGSFITNESS 8/30/2010 3:36PM

    Confession 1: My heart bleeds for you :( The only thing I can recommend is to do some pool jogging to build up strength. As you continue to lose weight (and you will!!) running will be easier for you. Does your gym have any zero-impact trainers? They're not quite ellipiticals, but they're great for that 'running motion' without the stress on your joints.. I wish I remembered the name of them.

Confession 2: okay, ick. LOL! I know what you mean... usually when I get a blister, I'll take a needle and poke the dead skin to drain the pus but leave the dead skin there to protect the raw/new skin underneath. In your situation, I'd say treat it like a cut. If you're going to be out and about, put a little bit of neosporin on, cover with a bandaide and wear socks. Give it plenty of "open air" time though--that's what's going to help the new skin heal and build up more defense (if that makes sense)

Confession 3: The only "real life" people who are also on spark people were spark people first. They started as fitness buddies and turned out to be real friends.

There are people in my real life who know that I "get sparky" but they let it be "my thing" and they're happy for me but have no reason to read my blogs or keep up. They prefer I share my weight loss journey with them verbally. One cool thing about being open and honest about weight loss with people in real life, though, is that they'll help you to succeed. My boyfriend bought me running shoes for our anniversary. My boss told me today that she was ordering bagels for tomorrow and wanted to know if I had a special request. My Grandma tells me exactly what she's putting into dinner so that I can track it easily. So, although these people aren't on my spark page, they're aware of the changes I'm trying to make and they're fully supportive.

I invited a co-worker to spark once and she fizzled out. There's another co-worker that was on spark before I was and I never even knew she was on here. We've never added each other on our pages.

So, I don't know if that answers your question, but I hope it helps.

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Battle 2 - Day 1 Recap, Day 2 Plan

Monday, August 30, 2010

Quote of the Day
“If the world seems cold to you, kindle fires to warm it.”

Battle 2: 355

Day 1 Recap:
Yesterday was a bit of a mess. There, I said it. That being said, I'm over it.

The day started out well. I was flying high from besting myself in Battle 1 and I was ready to take on the next challenge. What I didn't much bargain for was the intense sun midday.

For breakfast I had one of my regular meals - a whole wheat bagel with whipped cream cheese. I'm slowly backing off the amount of cream cheese I use on my bagels and the amount of creamer I put in my coffee. So far, so good. For some strange reason, yesterday my bagel tasted like ambrosia. I would take a bite and cherish its yummy goodness. And I had no clue why it tasted so good, because I have this meal all the time, but I was happy for the change!

Before we left for the field for Ethan's football game, I made everyone a sandwich with turkey breast, ham, and colby jack cheese, and a touch of light mayo and some lettuce. We stuck them in the cooler with our water and off we went. And then the sign -- NO COOLERS ALLOWED. *GRRR!* We kept the cooler in the car and prayed we'd be able to at least sneak our water bottles in (it worked!!). I hadn't done more than sat down for 2 seconds when I thought, "I should use this time to walk." See, when you're a parent of a player, you have to be there like 2 hours before the game even starts. BORING! So I asked Logan if he wanted to join me and he agreed. That's when Shane reminded me we didn't have any sunscreen. So instead of walking the field, as I had intended, we took off on foot to the store down the street for sunscreen. On the way back we passed Food Fair and I popped in to buy us more yummy whole wheat bread (we were down to the last 2 pieces after making sandwiches) and a peach for me (and another for Logan). We picked up some Jelly Belly jellybeans too, a treat for all of us (I counted every one I ate. I had 11. They're 4 calories each. I logged 50 just to make sure I didn't skip one or something! *lol*)

We then proceeded to sit in the sticky hot sun and watch my son's team get crushed by a great, tiny Belpre team. 34-6, I think the score was. Thankfully, Ethan had something to be proud of...he was on the offensive line when they scored their only points of the game! Still, he was bummed by the loss. By the time the game ended (I was literally counting down the last 40 seconds or so because we were dying in the heat!) we were ready for two things -- A/C and H2O! I've never seen Hubs that affected by the sun, but I knew that if the game had been just 30 minutes longer I would have been in serious danger of another bout of heat stroke! (I cannot wait for fall. When football season starts, I want fall weather!!)

Where we ended up -- Pizza Hut.
No big deal, I thought. I'd already stuffed myself with my sandwich at half-time. I wasn't that hungry...just thirsty.
I downed one glass of water and then half of my son's.
And then the pizza came. 1, 2, 3 pieces! I skipped the crust on the last 2 pieces but I ate all three like I hadn't eaten for days. Honestly, I probably could've eaten another. I was ravenous! I don't know if it was the sun or what, but I was super hungry all of a sudden.
I felt guilty.
Then I made myself stop.
One high calorie day every once in a while won't kill me, right?

Once we got home, I changed my clothes and then went out to wash the car. It was an excuse to use the water hose and get a little wet. I wanted to go swimming, but didn't want to drive all the way to the lake. So, instead, we played in the water and washed my car at the same time, Ethan and I. Fun! A bit of exercise. All in all = good.

I wasn't hungry again until way later. I had logged everything from the day and I was right above 1800 calories. I could choose to ignore my hunger, or I could eat and allow myself a high calorie day. I got frustrated. I ate about 3 bowls of Lucky Charms. I felt super guilty. I logged it. I realized I was still under Spark's recommended maximum calorie range (actually all of the ranges). I told myself that was alright, and I just enjoyed the rest of my night. (And another episode of True Blood that ended in yet another cliffhanger, followed by another "WTF?" response by my husband! *lol* I'm not sure he quite understands how this whole TV show thing works yet! *lol*)

No bootcamp video. (Kinda wish I had.) No Shred. (Glad I didn't.) No big deal. I did a lot of walking and washed the car too!

Day 2 Plan:
Fight the urge to scream my head off.

First of all, I'm back to work after a few days off sick last week. I haven't been at work since last Tuesday. BLAH!

Second? I still have cooking to do tonight when I get home. I never got that Beef and Root Vegetable dish in the crockpot last night. It's really no big deal. I have to mix up one thing, dump in all the veggies I cut Saturday, top it with the meat (after I coat it in wheat flour), top that with the sauce mixture, and turn the whole thing on. Will take me like 20 minutes, tops.

Third? Another one of those mornings. Spilled coffee down my shirt. Nearly crashed the car because of the coffee incident...twice. (I just don't learn, do I?) Annoyed by the little things this morning. I'm going to take a few moments to center myself here in a minute and get my head on straight. Then I'm going to find a few people on Spark who inspire me and stoke those fires again, because...

...I will go to the gym tonight.
...I will do my 2 miles (as long as my feet can take it).
...I will find something else to do if my feet can't take it.
...I will strength train my heart out!
...I will challenge myself to a duel!
...I will complete all my work.
...I will catch up on all my Spark Friends and Spark responsibilities.
...I will go home after the gym and cook lunch for tomorrow.
...I will put on some pasta too for the chicken parmesan!
...I will get to bed early.
...I will forgive myself for my high calorie day yesterday.
...I will push to make today as great as it can be!
...I will stop stressing over this 10k on Saturday!!! (EEP!)

Side note (maybe TMI for those who get grossed out easily) - Yesterday the dead skin over my new skin on my blisters started to come I cut it off. EWWW!! Might have been a bit of a mistake on the right foot, though it was the perfect choice for the left. This blister I got in my first 5k has taken forever to heal. The dead skin smelled bad - like infection bad! EWW! The new skin underneath, though is beautiful! Still, my foot is bandaged. The new skin is soft and hurts a smidge to walk on straight. I'm hoping it'll build up some strength before Saturday (because even if I need crutches to finish, I will finish!!).

No picture today. Sorries!
Oh, and weigh-in this morning: 358.4
Guess that high calorie day didn't kill me, did it? ;)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THREEE 8/30/2010 6:48PM

    i love your enthusiastic way of expressing your experiences...sounds like you did okay and didn't over-flog yourself--WEIGH to go!!! emoticon

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RAVENSONG37 8/30/2010 11:22AM

    You're incredible! I hope you realize how much awesome you put out into the universe. It's a crapton!

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HEALTH-E-CLARE 8/30/2010 10:51AM

    Sounds like a great plan. Excellent job with walking to the store to pick up the sunscreen and then washing the car, all productive exercising. I like it.

Be a rockstar today and start crossing items off your list!

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FLWRCHLD97 8/30/2010 10:48AM

    You can do it, and you are right - one high calorie day isn't going to set you back. You have a goal, you have a desire to live a healthier lifestyle, and look at far you have come already!

I don't know about anyone else out here in SP, but I'm damn proud of you!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MEGSFITNESS 8/30/2010 10:44AM

    Heya! Great job :) way to use your time wisely. That high calorie day really didn't kill ya ;)

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PENNEYV 8/30/2010 10:08AM

    sounds like you have set a pretty vigorous agenda for today. Just keep moving and bump the things you don't get accomplished to tomorrow. emoticon

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PENNEYV 8/30/2010 10:04AM

    sounds like you have set a pretty vigorous agenda for today. Just keep moving and bump the things you don't get accomplished to tomorrow. emoticon

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MARYANNGI 8/30/2010 9:58AM

    Sounds like you had a great plan in place. Way to go!!

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HEATHERALENE 8/30/2010 9:44AM

    Have an awesome day to day and keep up with the great can-do attitude!!


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DLEE27 8/30/2010 9:26AM

    Hope you have a great day today! (and eeeeewww re:blister! haha)

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MAGPIE17 8/30/2010 9:10AM

    Rock it today, Esther!

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