Thursday, September 02, 2010
My youngest son Ethan is 8 years old and very much like his mother. He's the kind of kid who will tell you the truth, but tries to put it in the best way possible. For example, don't ever ask my child if your butt looks big in your jeans if you're not ready to hear that those jeans might not be working for you. His reponse would probably be something like, "Yeah, it does, but I like the color!" *lol* I pity any woman that has to marry him someday (maybe he'll learn by then!). Still, he's the kid I take with me to go shopping because he'll tell me if an outfit looks good on me or not and I'll know he means it.
Of course, this can be a little hard to take when the self-esteem isn't too high. This is the same child who, after I tried on several size 28 skirts that actually fit me at LB a couple weeks ago, said, "You can't wear those to work!" When I asked him why not he said, simply, "People will laugh at you." It wasn't until he saw the look of hurt on my face that he said, "Mom, skirts just aren't your thing. Why don't you try on these pants instead?" It's true, my legs aren't great and skirts do not flatter me YET. But still, it stung pretty bad.
This morning I dressed for work and walked out of my bedroom as he was getting some clothes out of the dryer. He turns to me and said, "Wow! You look skinnier!" *rofl* It was the best compliment I could get today because I know he's not trying to please me...he's telling his truth, just like he always does. I smiled and thanked him and then noticed I was walking just a little bit taller.
Too many times we search for compliments during this process, and when they come they're fun to hear...but it's these unexpected compliments from the most unlikely sources that really make the journey all worth it! Today, I look skinnier. It could be the clothes I put on (these pants really are starting to fit me the right way!) today, but for whatever reason, today I feel like I'm 10 pounds lighter than I was yesterday. So far, September, you're doing me good!
I also got another compliment last night from a girl at the gym who remarked on my endurance. I guess my face has become a regular there (told you I was a gym rat!) which is funny considering I've taken more days off from the gym in the past 2 weeks than I have the past 2 months since starting there! The trainer saw me again last night too and said, "Hey! So you come in the evenings too?" *shrug* Maybe she's seen me there during the day on a Friday, the only day time at the gym I get. One of the workers actually thought I had been in there twice yesterday prompting the comment. I told her that while I wished I could do morning workouts, my work schedule doesn't work to allow that. The gym opens at 6:30am and I have to leave my side of town by 7am in order to get to work on time at 8.
Battle 2 Progress:
Battle 2 = 355
Today the scale gave me a 357.0 after days of 358.4 over and over again! (Except for Monday when it went up to 359 because I was so sick.) I have to say, I have been taking a little more time away from the gym lately. First because I was sick, but also because this week it's important for me to rest some. The 10k is Saturday and I'm officially in freak-out mode! *lol*
Yesterday I learned that the race course is all pretty flat for the 5k portion (I think the 5k and 10k may be combined, the 10k'ers just break off after a while), and then mile 3-4 includes a 400+ foot climb pretty straight up to the Spring Hill Cemetary. I look at this hill every day from my work and it scares me to think I would ever have to walk up it...and now I've paid 25 bucks for the honor of doing just that! What have I gotten myself into??
That's the hill. O-M-G!
So, yes...according to the elevation chart, we're pretty flat for the first 3 miles or so, then a little after mile 3 we climb that hill, then it's pretty much flat, and then back down the hill and flat again at the finish. I can do this....I can do this...I can do this...Can I Do This? *FREAKING OUT!!*
The rest of my day includes:
* Lunch with the bestie
* Dinner (sushi) or shopping between jobs
* Sending off a job application
* Council Meeting and reporting
* A chat with my friend at the paper, hopefully about the paper situation
* Working in a workout somewhere! Might have to be 30DS Day 2 at 10pm! EEP!
I made 2 decisions yesterday:
1) I may take back the size 28 jeans I bought. I wore my pants yesterday and they were so big on me. I need to see if I can wear a 26. Even if it's tight, I should have them instead of buying loose 28s! At least I can work my way into the tight pair.
2) December will be my 2 year mark with the part-time paper gig. I like it, but they've hired some interns instead of me in the past 2 years, and I think they may be about to do that again. I don't really want to keep putting in the time if nothing's going to come of it, so I think I'm going to hold out until December, and then if they don't make it a permanent thing, I'm going to let that job go. The money doesn't justify me staying there, and if they aren't going to consider promoting me to FT staff then I need to start focusing my efforts elsewhere. These long 15 hour days just about KILL me and I think 2 years is a good blurb for the resume to apply to other journalistic jobs.
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Last night I found myself in a rather tough position. If you'll all remember, in this blog:
I told you about a woman and the PT at my gym walking around (and the compliments I got from the PT). Last night, I spied the same woman watching me from a stationary bike while I was in the Zumba "room." (Or room isn't really a room. It's an open area, a raised wood floor with mirrors across the front, just big enough for exercise classes. Everyone upstairs in the gym can watch everyone in the class, so if you're worried about feeling insecure, get the frigg over it now!)
Now, sometimes I can be completely shy. I don't want people harping on me most days at the gym. I don't want to hear about their grandkids or how they blew their knee out 50 years ago in a high school tennis match. But last night was not one of THOSE nights. Last night it wasn't just ME time. I didn't feel like I had to hide in the world, I felt a PART of the world. I made some sort of connection with everyone in the gym through my mind. "Great work!" I'd think to a girl across the class - and then smile at her, hoping she'd get the message. It was just a different kind of day. (For those of you that have these me days vs. we days, the best way to have a we day is easy -- do not take a book or your mp3 player. Be totally open and free to talk. Make eye contact and smile at other people. Let them know that you're open for conversation. And when you CAN have these days -- HAVE THEM! A workout goes SUPER FAST when you have someone to talk to! Even if all you're talking about is how much the workout sucks! *lol*)
So after Zumba ends, I head right over to the rowing machine. I had missed my session on it Monday so I wanted to make it up if I could. I got everything set and started stretching a bit first (OMG - stretch out your hips, dude! You use them SO much in rowing!) and over walks that girl. (Man, I didn't catch her name! I hate it when I do that...for some reason I think "What's your name?" is too personal a question! *lmao*) She steps on an elliptical machine a few away from me and I try to smile at her, but she either doesn't catch it or ignores it. (Sometimes when you're open - other's aren't! Don't push them!) I think I tossed her a generic comment like, "So you made it back!" and that's where the conversation started.
I'm not going to go through it all, but three things I remember more than anything:
1) She hates the elliptical. (WHAT?! I *love* that thing!)
2) She works for the State, like me, and is signed up with their Weight Management program.
3) She was "inspired by your endurance!"
Yes, she actually said that last one. I gulped and probably blushed. I told her that I couldn't even walk a mile when I started, and that it took me like 40 minutes just to walk 1 mile. I told her that everyone has to start small and work their way up. And I told her that the elliptical burns mondo calories and is a killer workout for the body, and that she should just try to go for 10 minutes, even if it was REALLY slow! And then I worked with her a bit explaining the machine (she had the crossramp on the initial 10 setting and I suggested lowering it to 1 to start out). It took me a minute to realize that she didn't understand that SHE sets the pace on the thing. She was pacing over 100 strides per hour...when I started I think I was around 60...my only goal was getting through. "Oh!" she said. "So I'M controlling the workout, not the machine?" Yep. And I told her it was like that with every machine. I told her not to push herself too hard at first. And then I told her that she'll be surprised how fast her endurance will pick up if she just keeps at it.
She handed me a million excuses and I batted down every one. I'd heard them all before anyhow. The best one is that she has a lot going on this month and was hoping it wouldn't start until October. (The program requires you to log 2 days at the gym a week, minimum.) I just kept building her up, telling her it was worth it and that it works. After a while even SHE was working around her excuses. "You know, maybe I'll come in the morning so I can have it done with before I start my day." "Great!" I told her. (I so totally wish I could do that but I have to leave for work a mere 30 minutes after the gym opens so there'd be no time to deposit my stuff, workout, and shower and change before getting to work on time. *sigh*) I hope I get to see her again! (Especially because she left the ellitpical right before I realized I never mentioned SP to her! ERRR!)
As far as the weight management program, I may have mentioned that I attempted to sign up for this in June. No word back on my eligibility, so I gave up and joined the gym on my own. Whatever. Finally last week, I decided that the money I could be saving on the membership was worth me taking the time to check into where I was in the process. I called them again and they apologized for the delay, told me I WAS eligible and emailed me my consent forms immediately. Once their in, I'll be off.
What I know about the program:
I get a dietician, an exercise physiologist (I don't know what that really means), and a session with the personal trainer at the gym. My membership is included with my fees - which for the first month will actually be 7 bucks MORE than my membership costs me (the cost is 45 bucks for the first three months), but if I continue for the next nine months, the cost goes down to 14 bucks! I'm pretty sure they do this to weed out the non-dedicated among the group...we all know what a time and energy committment this is! Overall, the savings for the first year would be $202! Totally worth it! The second year, if I continue (*lol* IF! That's funny!) they pay half of my membership and I pay the other half - saving me $228 the second year. PLUS the added benefits of regular dietician consults, physiologist consults, and the intial PT session.
That first PT session is going to be SOOO different for this PT at my gym! *lol* First of all, I hope she remembers me from the other week! Secondly, I'm not a n00b! I have specific questions for her. I want her to tell me what to do to work around my knee. I want her to give me great strengthening exercises that I don't know about. I want her to tell me what the weight limit is on the stability balls! *lol* (It kills me that I don't know!!) I want her to show me the cable machine, and the MACHO side of the gym (where all the weight lifters go, so I can really utilize everything there. I might even ask her about the racquetball court. I'm putting her through her paces and challenging her to challenge me ...and I only have one session with her to do that!
The only part I'm afraid of?? The dreaded body fat scale! I just know she's going to put me on that thing! *pouts* I know it's best to know, but it's scary, dude! I don't want to be told that more than half of me is excess fat! I'm so afraid the number will be like 95%! On the other hand, maybe this thing will help me figure out what a good final goal weight should be, other than BMI charts, which we all know give a huge range and don't do much to help narrow things down for you.
Guys, quick! Give me more things to ask the PT! *lol* I need the down and dirty stuff...not the "stand on the treadmill and try to walk for 10 minutes working your way up in time before you start your ST routine." Let's play - Stump the Personal Trainer! I'll print out the questions to take with me when I go, too! *LMAO*
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
Weight August 1st: 369.2
Weight Goal for September 1st: 361.2 (-8)
Actual Weight September 1st: 358.4
Actual Weight Lost in August: -10.8 pounds!
(Aug 1st - Sept. 1st = Difference)
Waist: 52 - 49.25 = 2.75 inches lost!
Hips: 66 - 62 = 4 inches lost!
Neck: 15 - 15 = 0
Thigh: 27 - 26 = 1 inch lost!
Calf: 21.5 - 21.5 = 0
Upper Arm: 16.25 - 15.5 = .75 inches lost!
Total Inches Lost in August: -8.5 inches!!
EDIT: Oh, yea! And I went from a size 30 pant to a size 28. And I can fit into 22/24 shirts now instead of 26/28!
In August I:
* Walked my very first 5k!
* Met my first Sparkies (at the 5k)!
* Became more in touch with myself!
* Began training for a 10k walk!
* Walked 5 miles!
* Hit 50 pounds lost with Spark mark!
* Hit 100 pounds lost from highest weight!
* Found the 350s!
* Was voted Spark Motivator!
* Was honored with 2 Popular Blog Post Awards!
* Was named Done Girl of the Day!
* Took on co-captain challenge duties in Team 300 lbs. Plus!
* TIKI'ed it up!
* Joined the 10 by 10/10/10 challenge!
* Signed up for my first 10k!
So how did my goals work out for August? This is what I said on August 1st:
"So the plan for August? Keep at it. Work the nutrition goals you set for yourself in the beginning and get back on track with eating more fresh fruits and vegetables. Play time is over...time to work! (Though I can have fun doing it and then it feels a lot like play time.)"
I worked HARD this month! I challenged myself to the limits (and beyond, which made me sick last week...good to know where they are, though!). I fell off some days, but I kept getting back on, getting back up...and I discovered that THIS is one of the most important things! This life we've chosen doesn't come easy when we're surrounded by food shows like Man vs. Food, in which a man tries to tackle a meal large enough for 3 days worth of calories (at least!). Flip through channels and you'll find yourself bombarded with both modeling shows, things like Biggest Loser and Thintervention (sp?), and then Amazing Wedding Cakes and Cake Boss. What messages are we trying to send? Because if you read them for what they are it says: "Have as much cake and sweets as you want, but you had better stay stick thin, or you'll be punished, laughed at, and forced to overwork yourself thin!" How is that even reasonable to ask?
So yes, the journey is hard. Temptation is around every single corner. The path paved with good intentions sometimes leads to binging hell. The key is to push through. Do your best. Make exceptions. Forgive yourself for "slips" or don't even call them slips, just slip them into your day's nutritionals. And exercise! August was the month of exercise for me! And it was hard, I won't lie. At times it got boring (training can be, I've learned). But it is also extremely rewarding! I am stronger than I've been in a long time, and thinner than I've been in close to 8 years! So some credit must be given to exercise.
Use your SP support, but pull from outside sources as well.
Forgive yourself your faults as you do the faults of others.
Keep planning weekly meals and cook on the weekends!
Try at least one new food/recipe every week!
When in doubt, resort to what you know works.
Weight Goal: 349.9!
Give yourself 1 or 2 days a week to just have active fun!
Work to improve endurance.
But don't let exercise rule your life.
Use the tools to figure out how to maximize your time/effort.
Continue to be the general in your own war!
Work up to a 1 minute plank. There. I said it.
Get back to biking! Try new things! Have FUN!
September will be a pretty light month for me. No training scheduled (unless I get a go ahead from the Doc to try Couch to 5k). I have one race scheduled this month - the 10k this Saturday. After that, I plan on using September to have FUN! Like a LOT of fun! I want to make sure that I don't spend all my final waking hours of the day in the gym, for crying out loud! I might try some more DVDs. I might try to start the 30-Day Shred and see how far I get. I'm also thinking my Yoga needs to come back. In a perfect world, I'd find a way to wake up just 25 minutes early to get in my AM Yoga routine before my day even starts, and I'm hoping that's something I can work on this month. Also, in a perfect world, this would be my last month in 28s...but I have no clue how fast this will go (because GETTING to 28s seemed to take SO LONG!).
Still...September is set to be a good, FUN month!
S - Stay active!
E - Exercise within reason!
P - Push-ups and Planks Challenge!
T - Take care of your body and mind!
E - Every day is a new day!
M - Music can inspire, drive, and soothe you!
B - Be what you always knew you were!
E - Enjoy yourself and your family!
R - Remember that this is a gift for you, from you, and that is lovely!
BRING IT, SEPTEMBER!! LET'S PARTY!!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
...to September! Yep, that's right. September is coming! It's almost here! I'm so friggin' hyped you have no idea! I'll have a blog post tomorrow recapping August (because I still have tonight, yo! I can't cut myself short!!) and setting some goals for September, but I just want to write about why September is so great! (This will be a great reminder when a day really sucks next month and I need to know why I wanted it to be here in the first place! *lol*)
Oh, yeah. You heard me right! Fall is approaching! I can smell it in the air! I can feel it all around me. I absolutely *love* fall. The drop in temperature at night. The colors! The feeling of change. It's just magical for me! I'm reminded of a quote from You've Got Mail (yeah, most people hate this movie, but I'm strange and adore it!) "Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly-sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address. On the other hand, this not knowing has its charms." I wish I could send you all a bouquet of newly-sharpened pencils too! Another great smell. Another thing I completely love. (Yes, I mean pencils.)
Okay, you can say this goes along with fall, but I think it deserves it's own place. I can honestly say I don't remember a summer this humid in YEARS! I'm not sure if that's because there hasn't been one, or I just haven't spent this much time outside in the summer in YEARS. I used to hide, and now I play outside. Who the crap cares? I have only this one life, and I'll darn-well live it like I want! That being said, I don't know that I've ever sweated this much! I've never been this tan either, but OMG the sweat. For me, the first day I have to put on a jacket is a magical day (it happened a couple weeks ago...Hubs says my body temperature regulator thing is broken because I get cold quicker now! *lol*)! I love fall nights where you bundle yourself in a big cozy sweater by the fire, and I will absolutely LOVE hiking through the hiking trails without feeling like I'm going to DIE!
I don't know if you know this, but my son was born on 9/9/99. He's a special boy and I love celebrating both my sons' birthdays! Birthdays were always a huge deal in my house - mom showered us with love even when she couldn't afford much in the way of gifts. For one day we felt like queen/princess of the house. And I plan on passing that on to my children. There's something so special about feeling like someone is thankful that you came into this world. Not only that, but there are a whole bunch of other September birthdays too! And even MORE when I joined Spark! YOOVIE shares her birthday with my oldest neice, Tracy (September 4th - the day of my 10k in their honor!). My sister's birthday just makes it in on the 30th as well. It's also the return of the holiday day from work! July 5th we got a day off...and then nothing until next Monday! That's a long time to be tied down without some sort of break!
OMG there is nothing like the outdoor events in and around Ohio in the fall! While I have to wait a bit for the Circleville Pumpkin Show, the Ohio Renaissance Festival starts this Saturday and runs through October 17th! I'm so pumped! I've promised my kids a trip there for so long, but this year it's totally going to happen! Sadly, this will bring an end to the outdoor drama Tecumseh! - but I'll just put that on the list to take them to next summer. Still, I love being outdoors in the fall, so I'm checking out every event possible!
Yeah, I said it. Not only does my son play midget league football (which makes his Mom and Dad, avid college football fans, so proud!) but we've got 2 great teams to watch this year. I was born and bred into the Buckeye (Ohio State University) fan club, and with Terrelle Pryor leading the way this year, it could be a magical season!! Also a team to watch, WVU (West Virginia University) has Noel Devine on the Heisman watch and leading the charge for this somewhat young, but full-of-promise team! This could surprise a lot of people, if only the magic sparks fly! I'm so friggin' pumped for this football season...and for the fact that I can (probably) finally wear my WVU jersey and the OSU sweatshirt bought for me last year that didn't quite fit! I'm gonna look HAWT! and stay warm too! *lol*
Okay, this is my last one for now. I was thinking about this today as I went shopping (a bit about that in a minute) and I kept thinking - I just really want a big, chunky sweater this year. I know a lot of you are thinking that chunky sweaters are meant to hide (and what am I hiding? I'm looking better every day/week!) but, for me, I haven't been able to find a beautiful chunky sweater in so long! Why? Because being so big, the chunkiest sweaters simply "fit" me. I want to swim in a sweater this fall/winter! And as I shrink, the possibilities for that grow bigger and bigger! Now, not only can I choose what STYLE of chunky sweater I want, I can pick the color too -- not just "what's left in the biggest size!" (Also looking forward to a turtleneck this winter, now that my neck isn't as huge!) At least once this fall/winter, I will rock the tights/chunky sweater 80s throw-back, even if it's just at home while on the couch! *lol*
Shopping trip (@ CATO):
A pair of jeans, size 28, with orange detail and orange belt - $25
A pair of dress pants, light brown, size 28, with rope belt - $28
A purple shirt, size 22/24, with keyhole detail at the neck - $7
Feeling comfortable & gorgeous in a dressing room and realizing that 28s are already getting loose? - PRICELESS!
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