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Stupid Cryptic Expiration Labels!!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Yesterday was battle day 2 of Battle 2. I had my head on straight. I wasn't totally "feeling it" but I was faking it like it was my job! Everyone here at work would've thought I was having a lovely day and I think I deserve an Oscar for the acting I did! By lunch I had faked it so much I even started to feel it...and then it hit.

Around 2:30pm the tiny tummy ache that had been growing (and I thought was just TOM pains) grew to a full-on stomach issue. I tried ignoring it. I tried (TMI) using the bathroom. I thought it was gas for the longest time, but I could NOT get it to go away! (Can you say frustrated?)

Anyhow, by 5:30pm I was wondering if I should still go to the gym even though all I wanted to do was crawl in bed...but I made myself put on my gym clothes anyways. I laced up my tennis and, for a moment, felt much better. I was going to do it! All the way home I bargained with myself. I considered ditching the gym and just heading over to the park, that way I could back out if I needed to without feeling like a total douche. Also I knew that if I had to yack, I could do it at the park without as much embarassment as if I was in the gym and yacked on all the equipment. About 25 minutes from home this idea (the park, not the yacking) was sounding better and better. Getting out, enjoying the sunshine, walking with my boys. It all sounded great! And I could do my 2 miles there, and it would be much better training to do it outside on the pavement then inside on the treadmill. I made up my mind, the park it was, and I diverted to home base.

And on the last hill home my stomach turned again and all I could think was -- NO! Seriously, there was no way I was doing anything exercise related when I wanted to curl into a tiny little ball (errr...huge ball) and die (or yack). So I went home disappointed (disappointment faded soon when the pain increased). I went home, I stumbled in taking only my purse (left all my other bags in the car...thankfully my wonderful boys went out and got them all for me!) and crashed on the couch. I was in SO MUCH pain! But I knew I still had things to do...

I got up and finished the Beef & Root Vegetables meal and put it in the crockpot to cook for 12 hours. Then I started water for some pasta for the chicken parm. (Thank the LORD I had dinner almost completely made!!) I heated up the chicken parm, put it with the pasta and some sauce, sprinkled it with grated parm, stuck some breadsticks in the broiler and served everyone dinner. I decided to try to eat, and that didn't seem to be too much of an issue until I was done eating. SO MUCH PAIN! I just laid on the couch until Hubs pulled me up around 9:30pm for bed.

It was NOT a good night. Took me forever to fall asleep. And the one thought plaguing me (okay, a few):

Please do not let this be a hernia!

I've had one other occasion where my stomach started hurting and wouldn't stop...and I nearly died from obstructed bowels from a massive hernia. BAD week! BAD, BAD week! When I spoke those words aloud, even my husband got scared.

I also went to:

"Why am I being punished? I've been SO GOOD lately!"

I always do the "why is me" routine when I'm in pain. *shrug* I turn into an 8 year old or something.

Anyhow, I woke up this morning a little better, but still feeling a bit of pain/pressure. It wasn't until this morning that my photographic memory flashed me a picture of the top of the strawberry preserves I used in my yogurt yesterday and I realized the date said "best used by" February 2009! Are you friggin' kidding me? (BTW - I hate these best by dates because they have a tendancy to be a little cryptic. I obviously looked at the top and thought wrong or didn't care or wasn't really paying attention or something...) So I think (I'm HOPING) that it's only food poisoning. Thankfully I only ate a small bit of it, so I think that's why it isn't that bad. (I've had food poisoning before that made that girl from the Exorcist look like a friggin' sissy!)

My stomach is SLOWLY settling down...and if it continues I'll feel much better about the whole situation. Last thing I want is to end up in the hospital the week of my 10k, or worse, to have to miss the 10k completely! (This is one of the most expensive races, G-D-IT!)

Plan for the day is simple. Eat only what my stomach can handle. Drink lots of water. Use the bathroom regularly. And try not to stress over something it might be but probably isn't. (Have I told you guys that I used to have severe hypochondria? I could make myself sick if I thought about this too long. Seriously, I can manifest actual physical abnormalities if I mentally will it to be so, or at least the pain of such. -- This is one reason I know how powerful the mind is!)

The scale this morning said 359, but I'm sure that's just because I'm bloated from this...issue. I ate pretty well all day, even if I didn't get in an actual workout. I'm not even counting today's weigh-in for our challenge and using the 358.4 from yesterday (and the day before) me that is in no way cheating, because I know that I'm sick and my body can't be counted on to weigh normally.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ATROTTIER 8/31/2010 1:33PM

    I hope you feel better girl - take it easy, you'll make it up!! I hate best by dates too, WTH? I hope it's just that too so it can pass soon. emoticon

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HEATHERALENE 8/31/2010 12:06PM

    emoticon Hope you get to feeling all the way better. Sick tummies are HORRIBLE!! To me, that's one of the WORST feelings in the world!

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BOURNBABE 8/31/2010 11:39AM

    Hope you continue to feel better!

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MAGPIE17 8/31/2010 11:23AM

    Hugs, honey! Hope you feel better soon!

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RAVENSONG37 8/31/2010 10:13AM

    AWwWw.... emoticon Get it all out girl and feel better!

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HEALTH-E-CLARE 8/31/2010 10:00AM

    I let some things go past the expiration date, except for meat and dairy (unless I freeze them). I'm crossing my fingers that it's slight food poisoning and nothing worse (although I feel bad hoping it's anything).

Rest today, eat your bland foods and you'll be back in the swing of it in no time!

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RANGERRUNNER 8/31/2010 9:24AM

    I have to say I agree with NJorchids. I throw it out as soon as the date is up! I too have had food poisoning and DO NOT want to get it again! Gosh, I hope that that is all that is was and nothing serious. And I'm glad your feeling better!

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  I'm a nut about throwing things out after their expiration date. My MIL, when she moved in with us, brought stuff from her house that had expired a year ago...and fought with me over how it was still good (xxx never goes bad!).

Bull sh!t.

If it's past the expiration date, I'm pitching it, no matter if I only opened it last week.

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More Confessions

Monday, August 30, 2010

Confession #1:
I want to run. I want to say that I'm a runner, but more importantly, I want that feeling of running. I was never much of a runner because I was always told that fat girls shouldn't run. Had Spark been in my life when I was about 15 I would've told people to F-off and would have run anyways, but it wasn't, and I didn't. No going back. Now that I'm getting in better shape, I still have this almost heartsick urge to run. Nearly every day this thought plagues me.

Oh, I can hear you all now. "So you want to run? Then run! Stop with the excuses!" But since my knee surgery when I was about 16, and the following additional weight added to my joints, my left knee is absolute crap. I have tried to run (and loved every second of it!) but it's always followed by one of my knee-popping incidents. And I hear the same thing over and over - don't run. *sigh* I'm so SICK of hearing that I shouldn't run.

What I want to hear is that I CAN run. I want to hear how to fix the problem. I want to hear that there IS a way to build the strength in my knee so I can run again. I want to hear how you can wrap a HUGE knee so that you add stability, without the wraps rolling up and 1) being completely ineffective and 2) causing pain and rubbing to the back of my knee. I want to know in some sciency way how I can get around this problem and achieve my heart's run.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to run super-fast sprints. I don't even need to run fast. "Wogging," as some call it, is quite fine with me. But I WANT to run. Do you know that I have this distinct fear that I will be in a bad situation one day and won't be able to run away? How crazy is that? But I still think about it. I had hoped that once my 10k training was done I could start the C25k program and PERHAPS run my 5k in mid-October...even if I was really slow! But still, I don't know how to work my way around the knee...and my choices are to 1) go for it anyway and risk injury or 2) resign myself to walking for now, or possibly - forever!

Confession #2:
Sometimes I wonder - How sore am I supposed to feel? Is this enough? I've read a million fitness articles in my day. A million and one, probably. And all of them talk about that good sore. I know the difference between the two (good sore/bad sore) thanks to last week, but now I'm struggling with - how much do I do on sore muscles?

And this foot thing...the new skin that hurts a bit. How much time does that need to heal? Will I be ready for Saturday? What do I cover it with? What do I do if it starts bleeding again? Do I risk having to have my friggin' foot amputated if I push too hard? (Yeah, I'm weird and do actually think these things.) Can you put moleskin over new skin or would that be a bad idea?

Let me explain, the old skin that was removed was tough skin that I could easily say was an inch thick (because I have hardly any visual interpretation of actual measurements *lol*)! What I really mean is that there is a small "dent" in my foot now between the old tough skin and the new skin. What the crap? Will this level out or will I always have this strange hole in my foot? *sigh* I'm confused.

Confession #3:
I keep my real life and my Spark life separate. Don't get me wrong, I love meeting Sparkies IRL, and I hope to do more of it. But many of my IRL people just can't take the amount of honesty I have vowed to keep here on Spark.

Today, I broke this rule. I invited a friend from school to Spark. She started running this summer and has worked herself up to 5-6 miles! She's trying to lose weight, she admitted today, and so I sent her a message on FB and invited her over here. No clue if she'll take the opportunity, but I put it out there. I broke my rule and let my real life bleed into Spark a bit. (Except for my Momma, who I told immediately because I can trust her with just about anything! *lol*)

Do you guys do this too?

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BAREFOOT-LISA 8/31/2010 11:48AM

    I'm sorry to hear about your knee! Of course, I'm all sorts of hypo paranoid so if my docks says don't run, i'm lucky if I'll walk! But I would just ask about strength moves for the knee and try to build it up to Run ready! YOU WILL RUN! Just make sure you aren't doing damage trying to get there.
As far as RL vs. Spark.. I tried it. It failed. My best friend is unhealthily obese. It breaks my heart. She is in my wedding in a few weeks and we had to go to the davids bridal several times because none of the dresses fit. We ended up buying 2 and having a seamstress use the second to add to the first. 2 years ago when I first started spark, I invited her. She tried a little for about a month, even bought an elliptical, which is now a clothes rack. She knows I am active on the sight again and have lost nearly 20lbs, but she says it's just too hard and I know better than to push her. So knowing this now, I am glad she is not on the site because I would have guilt issues with my success. Sorry for the long story there!
HOWEVER, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to meet fellow sparkies in real life. I need people who are aware of their health in my life, because unfortunately no amount of me trying to spark others has worked out.

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BOURNBABE 8/31/2010 11:34AM

    emoticon I pretty much keep Spark separate from all but my close friends. But then, I'm kind of a hermit a lot and will go long streaks without seeing many people. One of my best friends is a Sparker though. She's why I'm on here, so I can't say I keep quiet about it on purpose.
You tried talking to a physical therapist that specializes in sports injuries? I know doing ST to strengthen the knee will help, but a specialist whose had to rehab a lot of athletes might have some tricks up their sleeve.

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FLWRCHLD97 8/31/2010 11:21AM

    These are probably dumb questions, but for confession 1 & 2, have you talked to your doctor about your concerns? Your doctor should be your best reference for the answers you seek - hopefully you have a doctor you like and trust. Or, if not the doctor, maybe a nurse at the office is someone you can talk to? When I have questions, and the doctor is busy, I usually talk to one or two nurses in the office, they are very helpful and nice (and will let you know if they need to refer the question to the doctor to answer). They are just a phone call away, no need to even go in the office...

For confession 3, with the exception of my husband and one friend, I have kept my personal life separate from SP. Once I feel confident enough in myself and that I will be sticking with this new way of life, only then will I share SP with others that I feel would benefit from this awesome-ness. I just want to be totally honest on this site too and I am afraid/have esteem issues that I need to deal with before allowing my real life in...

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_MSAPRIL17_ 8/31/2010 11:14AM

    Oh yeah, I totally do that. I try to keep Sparkworld and real world separate. In fact, I struggle with wanting to put my page on private a lot because I don't necessarily want my boss or some other random IRL person to stumble across my page and see how much I weigh or what I ate today....that and the stuff that I put in my blogs too. I guess that I am being a hyporcite though b/c it IS the web afterall, right? Ugh.

Re: Being sore...I think that unless you are in a ton of pain that you are probably the right amount of sore. It's obviously hard for me to tell, not being you and all, LOL.

Re: Running. All I can offer here is to take it slow and easy. Your endurance will build, but please don't push it. I don't care if you are big or small, if you push yourself too quickly you will get injured. It sounds like you have a good grasp on this, but are getting antsy and want to kick it up a notch. Keep it slow and keep it calm. It will only help you in the end.


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1BIGDREAM 8/31/2010 10:47AM

    Do you know about Karvey's Running While Chunky team? They can help with a lot of your running questions, I'm sure. Don't give up! When I first started, I was having trouble with my knees, but I made a concentrated effort to do ST on my legs, particularly quads, hamstrings, and calves, and I think that helped. Start with walking and take all the time you need to work up!

As for keeping real life separate from Spark, I have 3 friends on here, and sometimes it's not easy to be as honest as I want because it would be nice to have complete anonymity. On the other hand, I've started adding Spark friends on my Facebook page, and it is nice to get to know people a little better, and have extra support and accountability!

Good luck!

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MRSSIBRAT 8/31/2010 10:41AM

    I know exactly what you mean. I had knee surgury on my right knee and have sprained my left knee and was always told I should run..and I wantedd to run so bad! I would have dreams where I was running and I was so happy I was just chilling running and then I would wake up and be like oh crap..I really cant. Then one day my husband invited me to go to the track with him and I ran a half a mile...which was more then I have ever ran in my life!! When I saw that I could do that..I knew I could do whatever I put my mind to. Don't get me knee kills me every single time...but it gets better after the first half mile...Remember your mind is stronger then your body....if you tell yourself you will!!!

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ANEILSON 8/31/2010 10:37AM

    I hear you when you say you almost have a heartsick urge to run....I felt the same. I wanted to say I'm a runner and I am, but just not in the traditional sense right now. I don't run for miles straight....for me I only run for a minute at a time then walk for a minute, but am working my way up to becoming a runner. Sorry to hear about your knee, I wish I had some advise to offer you.

As for keeping your real life and spark life separate...I'm the same way. Its not that I don't want to spread the spark....I do but just not with my real life friends because...well like you I'm not sure how some of them would take my honesty (more for me my I do and have spread the spark with acquaintances (not buddy buddy friends) who are looking to loose weight and have asked advise from me because they see that I have lost some weight. But most of my real life friends I don't talk about it too much with them. Sure I've told them that I'm on Sparkpeople and that I love it, but haven't said hey why don't you join.

Good luck on your journey and I hope that someday you can say you're a runner too.

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RAVENSONG37 8/31/2010 10:20AM

    All I have for you is hugs!

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THREEE 8/30/2010 7:23PM

    we are so alike AND so different...
knees/running has already been well-addressed...
and i think the neosporin/bandaid/open air is the best blister advice...

IRL to SPARK? i think if you would be muffled in your expression with bringing RL people to this site, DON'T do it...
i've thought about it myself, but i've talked up SPARK to anyone either asking about my progress or needing support...those trying to quit smoking because they know the pounds may creep up(or PILE on emoticon)with this new endeavor and a friend who is not working and her pounds have come on(she used to be one of the committed-to-exercise-type people)...and i HAVE been hesitant that they might read my OPEN blogs, but this has helped SO much, that i won't let that stifle me...

and, one other thing...i think you've talked about bicycling and, to me, bicycling is THE best...i loved it when i was 148# and i lOOk forward to outdoor cycling in a couple of 'decades' of lost pounds hopefully in the near future...i love the challenges of the hills and the FUN of the coasting down those same automatically makes me smile...TO ME, i would get more endorphins than ANY day of running except when it was in a game(i loved basketball, but i was never FAST, but it was fun) ...i would TOTALLY suggest to get a specialist to suggest some exercises for rebuilding/strengthening all of the surrounding muscles to keep them from popping...and be SURE you do them with proper form...i wish you the best in that endeavor as the wind in your hair IS exhilarating ... emoticonor emoticonkeep at it!!! emoticon

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BECKYB73 8/30/2010 5:30PM

    In regards to your knee, what was the nature of the injury that required surgery? I have been concentrating on strengthening my knees, because I have an injury from two years ago that sometimes feels vulnerable.

I do step ups, lunges, leg presses and squats primarily. The step-ups are probably the hardest/best. My physical therapist who helped me rehab after my fall, told me that the best way to recover and stabilize a bad knee is to strengthen the muscles above and below it. So that's what I do.

I showed a big dog yesterday, which required a bit of jogging and had no knee problems at all. So something is working. Another big part of strengthening your knee is that you have to stop listening to the voice of fear and doubt that tells you that you can't. Once you get out of your head some really awesome progress can be made.

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NICA131 8/30/2010 4:49PM

    I have to agree with the water jogging/walking/wogging for your knee, low impact, and works better than one would think. The knee must be strong for it to "run". I used to be a runner (many many many moons and pounds ago), blew out my knee and gave it up because I couldn't get back fast enough. Ended up doing more damage than the "rush" was worth. I am just now starting to try to get back into the running swing but it is a struggle each and every day. Go slow ..... the tortoise always wins in the end.

I keep RL & Spark far away from each other. I made that mistake on a different site and some how my RL friend turned into my internet stalker, it was creepy. So never again

Comment edited on: 8/30/2010 5:10:51 PM

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LUCYSUNFLOWER 8/30/2010 4:45PM

    I dearly love and need your honesty!!

On Confession #1 - hang in there. I think sometimes in life we have desires that we cannot necessarily act on right away. Your desire to run does not match your current body and abilities - BUT you are basically training for it anyway. I think you just need to hang in there for the long haul and your knee will get stronger, your body will continue to shrink and then you will run with much more benefit and less discomfort. Channel your passion and pace yourself!

Confession #2 - sore is good, but driving yourself beyond it is not good. I think because we all interpret pain differently you'll need to experiment with this and see what works and what doesn't work. If you are really sore then your muscles are holding water from being injured and that won't be a happy thing on the scale! As for the hole in your foot... it took a while to build up that tough skin, so it may take a while for the hole to fill back in! Yowza...

Confession #3 - YES, I totally separate my "real" life from Spark!! My family is not a safe, trustworthy group and I need Spark to be my safe place. I am really ME here, but I do not want my IRL friends to know how much I weigh, how hard I'm working to weigh less, etc. If I need to think out loud or emotionally bleed, I come here! You lucky people, you...

Every time I read one of your blogs I just want to hug you and say thank you, thank you, thank you!!!


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JECKIE 8/30/2010 3:51PM

    I know what you mean about running. My knees are SHOT (surgery last year - I love my surgeon with all my heart for the miracles his hands can create). I love to run.

I would talk to a doctor of sports medicine. My doc knows I'm really active, so he specifically taught me exercises to strengthen my legs in a way that would support my knees and give me what I needed to keep active. And they work.

I don't invite non-Spark people to Spark, either, by the way. In a way, I feel bad about it because some people I know should hear what is being said here. But it's those same people who encourage me to do things I know I shouldn't "just this once" or "it's vacation so it doesn't count" etc. So... I keep my efforts to myself. Just works better for me that way.

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  My husband knows about Spark and that's it. Selfishly, I feel like it's my little haven and I don't want anyone else to know I'm apart of it.

I don't know about the skin.

I try to be a runner all of the time, but my knee injuries and back issues don't always like me for it. I'll let you know if I conquer them.

Oh! And, for the last set of confessions: I was really, really, really hoping that after this weekend's shopping spree, that SOMEONE IN MY EFFING OFFICE would notice I've lost weight - because I previously decided that it's because I was wearing the same clothes that they didn't notice...did they notice? Nope. Not a one. There's 3 other people in my office today and I talked to all of them face to face, standing in front of them and even mentioned one said anything. People are stupid.

I lob you though.

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    I am with you on the running.. When I started my journey at 310, and I had lost my initial 5 pounds... while walking I would get this urge to take off running... and I did a few times.. I realized very soon that I couldn't do much at all. And, my body reacted in a bad way.. My shoes weren't the correct supportive kind... and I decided to walk more before I tried to run. After about 15 more pounds, I decided to try again, and for a whole solid week I did running and walking intervals.. I LOVED IT!!! Then that weekend.. my knees went crazy and kept giving out on me... I decided to go back tow walking, and choosing a few days a week to run.. fast forward to this past weekend.. I was running my heart out, and It felt amazing... mind you, I am 38 pounds lighter, but that makes a huge difference to your body...

If you have knee problems.. I would say wait until you are light enough that you dr says its okay.. that is a lot of stress on your knee... The last thing you want is to injure it bad enough to put you out of commission and lose your ability to move and work out...

About blending the real life with the online.... I encourage everyone I speak with who is interested in losing weight or getting active to join... they don't have to add you in order to get the benefits... spread the spark!!!! You are doing amazing, and I am so proud of you..

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COMPASSLOST1 8/30/2010 3:37PM

    Oh my gosh. These confessions are wonderful. I feel the saaaame way. I understand completely about the running thing. I, too, want to be a runner. I am slowly working my way up there and I am doing pretty well, but it has taken me a very long time to be able to run without walking, and I can't imagine how hard it is for you with a knee like that. Have you tried talking to specialists? Or your doctor even? I HATE it when people tell me I can't do something. It just makes me want to prove them wrong.

As for the soreness thing... I find that I have been working out pretty aggressively since January and I don't remember a day when I wasn't sore.... I can never understand how people on weight loss shows never talk about the PAIN! I am in constant soreness, and it doesn't always feel good! I know "Pain is weakness leaving the body, blah, blah, blah" but honestly, some days I would just like to be able to get out of bed without feeling like my legs were going to fall off.

I have found that the only thing that helps with the muscle soreness is more exercise. It sounds ridiculous, but honestly, when I'm working out, I don't notice it anymore. The only time I'm pain free is when I'm creating more pain lol!!! Be proud of your sore muscles, that means that what you are doing is WORKING!

I have been grappling with letting my IRL friends onto SP as well... I just recently have 3 very, very close people in my life who have joined spark as well and I don't know how I feel about them knowing this much about me. I feel like us Sparkies have an intense bond and can share so much about ourselves BECAUSE we are semi-anonymous. We can be completely honest about our feelings and fears because there is always someone out there that is going through the SAME thing. We speak to each other, we have all been in the same position and we are insanely supportive because we are all going through the same hard journey.

So letting in people whom we have known in person know the deepest, darkest parts of ourselves it HARD.

Whew! This comment is crazy long, sorry if I am going on too long! Just know that you aren't alone in any of the things you are feeling and if you ever need to talk, I'm always here!!!!!

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KITHKINCAID 8/30/2010 3:37PM

    I have a really tough time mixing Spark and RL. The only points I haven't earned on my start-up page are for linking my Spark and Facebook accounts...won't do it. I really feel like I need my privacy here on Spark until everyone in the world knows I'm losing weight because they can see it anyway - then my decision might change, but I don't think it will. I don't appreciate when people get all "up in my grill" about losing weight, so I'll probably keep it quiet. I get the attention I need here on Spark from fellow warriors, and that's enough for me.

Maybe you can "wog" on the elliptical?? Would that hurt your knee? Sort of the same feeling as running but easier on the joints. Just a thought.

And the foot will heal. You'll grow new callouses. I have to tell the pedicure people not to shave mine down so that I can keep that tough skin. Otherwise, the first time I run or walk after getting my feet done, I get new blisters. Ugh. I'd use moleskin - but don't build it up too much or it will give your foot something else to rub on and you'll get another blister inside the blister - and that's the WORST.

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MEGSFITNESS 8/30/2010 3:36PM

    Confession 1: My heart bleeds for you :( The only thing I can recommend is to do some pool jogging to build up strength. As you continue to lose weight (and you will!!) running will be easier for you. Does your gym have any zero-impact trainers? They're not quite ellipiticals, but they're great for that 'running motion' without the stress on your joints.. I wish I remembered the name of them.

Confession 2: okay, ick. LOL! I know what you mean... usually when I get a blister, I'll take a needle and poke the dead skin to drain the pus but leave the dead skin there to protect the raw/new skin underneath. In your situation, I'd say treat it like a cut. If you're going to be out and about, put a little bit of neosporin on, cover with a bandaide and wear socks. Give it plenty of "open air" time though--that's what's going to help the new skin heal and build up more defense (if that makes sense)

Confession 3: The only "real life" people who are also on spark people were spark people first. They started as fitness buddies and turned out to be real friends.

There are people in my real life who know that I "get sparky" but they let it be "my thing" and they're happy for me but have no reason to read my blogs or keep up. They prefer I share my weight loss journey with them verbally. One cool thing about being open and honest about weight loss with people in real life, though, is that they'll help you to succeed. My boyfriend bought me running shoes for our anniversary. My boss told me today that she was ordering bagels for tomorrow and wanted to know if I had a special request. My Grandma tells me exactly what she's putting into dinner so that I can track it easily. So, although these people aren't on my spark page, they're aware of the changes I'm trying to make and they're fully supportive.

I invited a co-worker to spark once and she fizzled out. There's another co-worker that was on spark before I was and I never even knew she was on here. We've never added each other on our pages.

So, I don't know if that answers your question, but I hope it helps.

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Battle 2 - Day 1 Recap, Day 2 Plan

Monday, August 30, 2010

Quote of the Day
If the world seems cold to you, kindle fires to warm it.

Battle 2: 355

Day 1 Recap:
Yesterday was a bit of a mess. There, I said it. That being said, I'm over it.

The day started out well. I was flying high from besting myself in Battle 1 and I was ready to take on the next challenge. What I didn't much bargain for was the intense sun midday.

For breakfast I had one of my regular meals - a whole wheat bagel with whipped cream cheese. I'm slowly backing off the amount of cream cheese I use on my bagels and the amount of creamer I put in my coffee. So far, so good. For some strange reason, yesterday my bagel tasted like ambrosia. I would take a bite and cherish its yummy goodness. And I had no clue why it tasted so good, because I have this meal all the time, but I was happy for the change!

Before we left for the field for Ethan's football game, I made everyone a sandwich with turkey breast, ham, and colby jack cheese, and a touch of light mayo and some lettuce. We stuck them in the cooler with our water and off we went. And then the sign -- NO COOLERS ALLOWED. *GRRR!* We kept the cooler in the car and prayed we'd be able to at least sneak our water bottles in (it worked!!). I hadn't done more than sat down for 2 seconds when I thought, "I should use this time to walk." See, when you're a parent of a player, you have to be there like 2 hours before the game even starts. BORING! So I asked Logan if he wanted to join me and he agreed. That's when Shane reminded me we didn't have any sunscreen. So instead of walking the field, as I had intended, we took off on foot to the store down the street for sunscreen. On the way back we passed Food Fair and I popped in to buy us more yummy whole wheat bread (we were down to the last 2 pieces after making sandwiches) and a peach for me (and another for Logan). We picked up some Jelly Belly jellybeans too, a treat for all of us (I counted every one I ate. I had 11. They're 4 calories each. I logged 50 just to make sure I didn't skip one or something! *lol*)

We then proceeded to sit in the sticky hot sun and watch my son's team get crushed by a great, tiny Belpre team. 34-6, I think the score was. Thankfully, Ethan had something to be proud of...he was on the offensive line when they scored their only points of the game! Still, he was bummed by the loss. By the time the game ended (I was literally counting down the last 40 seconds or so because we were dying in the heat!) we were ready for two things -- A/C and H2O! I've never seen Hubs that affected by the sun, but I knew that if the game had been just 30 minutes longer I would have been in serious danger of another bout of heat stroke! (I cannot wait for fall. When football season starts, I want fall weather!!)

Where we ended up -- Pizza Hut.
No big deal, I thought. I'd already stuffed myself with my sandwich at half-time. I wasn't that hungry...just thirsty.
I downed one glass of water and then half of my son's.
And then the pizza came. 1, 2, 3 pieces! I skipped the crust on the last 2 pieces but I ate all three like I hadn't eaten for days. Honestly, I probably could've eaten another. I was ravenous! I don't know if it was the sun or what, but I was super hungry all of a sudden.
I felt guilty.
Then I made myself stop.
One high calorie day every once in a while won't kill me, right?

Once we got home, I changed my clothes and then went out to wash the car. It was an excuse to use the water hose and get a little wet. I wanted to go swimming, but didn't want to drive all the way to the lake. So, instead, we played in the water and washed my car at the same time, Ethan and I. Fun! A bit of exercise. All in all = good.

I wasn't hungry again until way later. I had logged everything from the day and I was right above 1800 calories. I could choose to ignore my hunger, or I could eat and allow myself a high calorie day. I got frustrated. I ate about 3 bowls of Lucky Charms. I felt super guilty. I logged it. I realized I was still under Spark's recommended maximum calorie range (actually all of the ranges). I told myself that was alright, and I just enjoyed the rest of my night. (And another episode of True Blood that ended in yet another cliffhanger, followed by another "WTF?" response by my husband! *lol* I'm not sure he quite understands how this whole TV show thing works yet! *lol*)

No bootcamp video. (Kinda wish I had.) No Shred. (Glad I didn't.) No big deal. I did a lot of walking and washed the car too!

Day 2 Plan:
Fight the urge to scream my head off.

First of all, I'm back to work after a few days off sick last week. I haven't been at work since last Tuesday. BLAH!

Second? I still have cooking to do tonight when I get home. I never got that Beef and Root Vegetable dish in the crockpot last night. It's really no big deal. I have to mix up one thing, dump in all the veggies I cut Saturday, top it with the meat (after I coat it in wheat flour), top that with the sauce mixture, and turn the whole thing on. Will take me like 20 minutes, tops.

Third? Another one of those mornings. Spilled coffee down my shirt. Nearly crashed the car because of the coffee incident...twice. (I just don't learn, do I?) Annoyed by the little things this morning. I'm going to take a few moments to center myself here in a minute and get my head on straight. Then I'm going to find a few people on Spark who inspire me and stoke those fires again, because...

...I will go to the gym tonight.
...I will do my 2 miles (as long as my feet can take it).
...I will find something else to do if my feet can't take it.
...I will strength train my heart out!
...I will challenge myself to a duel!
...I will complete all my work.
...I will catch up on all my Spark Friends and Spark responsibilities.
...I will go home after the gym and cook lunch for tomorrow.
...I will put on some pasta too for the chicken parmesan!
...I will get to bed early.
...I will forgive myself for my high calorie day yesterday.
...I will push to make today as great as it can be!
...I will stop stressing over this 10k on Saturday!!! (EEP!)

Side note (maybe TMI for those who get grossed out easily) - Yesterday the dead skin over my new skin on my blisters started to come I cut it off. EWWW!! Might have been a bit of a mistake on the right foot, though it was the perfect choice for the left. This blister I got in my first 5k has taken forever to heal. The dead skin smelled bad - like infection bad! EWW! The new skin underneath, though is beautiful! Still, my foot is bandaged. The new skin is soft and hurts a smidge to walk on straight. I'm hoping it'll build up some strength before Saturday (because even if I need crutches to finish, I will finish!!).

No picture today. Sorries!
Oh, and weigh-in this morning: 358.4
Guess that high calorie day didn't kill me, did it? ;)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THREEE 8/30/2010 6:48PM

    i love your enthusiastic way of expressing your experiences...sounds like you did okay and didn't over-flog yourself--WEIGH to go!!! emoticon

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RAVENSONG37 8/30/2010 11:22AM

    You're incredible! I hope you realize how much awesome you put out into the universe. It's a crapton!

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HEALTH-E-CLARE 8/30/2010 10:51AM

    Sounds like a great plan. Excellent job with walking to the store to pick up the sunscreen and then washing the car, all productive exercising. I like it.

Be a rockstar today and start crossing items off your list!

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FLWRCHLD97 8/30/2010 10:48AM

    You can do it, and you are right - one high calorie day isn't going to set you back. You have a goal, you have a desire to live a healthier lifestyle, and look at far you have come already!

I don't know about anyone else out here in SP, but I'm damn proud of you!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MEGSFITNESS 8/30/2010 10:44AM

    Heya! Great job :) way to use your time wisely. That high calorie day really didn't kill ya ;)

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PENNEYV 8/30/2010 10:08AM

    sounds like you have set a pretty vigorous agenda for today. Just keep moving and bump the things you don't get accomplished to tomorrow. emoticon

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PENNEYV 8/30/2010 10:04AM

    sounds like you have set a pretty vigorous agenda for today. Just keep moving and bump the things you don't get accomplished to tomorrow. emoticon

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MARYANNGI 8/30/2010 9:58AM

    Sounds like you had a great plan in place. Way to go!!

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HEATHERALENE 8/30/2010 9:44AM

    Have an awesome day to day and keep up with the great can-do attitude!!


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DLEE27 8/30/2010 9:26AM

    Hope you have a great day today! (and eeeeewww re:blister! haha)

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MAGPIE17 8/30/2010 9:10AM

    Rock it today, Esther!

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Weigh-In Day = Battle Summary

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Quote of the Day:
Its hard to beat a person that never gives up.

Weigh-In Day

Starting Weight: 466.6
SP SW: 416.2
Last Week: 364.0
This Week: 358.4
Loss/Gain: -5.6
SP Total Loss: 57.8
Total Loss: 111.2

Thus ends my first battle.
Mental Roadblocks and Fat Girl Inside = 0. Esther's Inner Skinny = 1.

I'm not going to say this week was easy. Most of the time I was "phoning it in" as Jillian calls it. But you know what? Sometimes showing up is the most important part of the battle. Sometimes doing what you're supposed to do while kicking and screaming (and, yes, even crying) is what gets you through. It seems that I do actually know what to do, and that's a comfort to know when I'm facing the Fat Girl and the Mental Roadblocks that hold me back.

In Day 1:
I set my goals. I got my head on straight. I told myself, "If not this week, next week. If not next week, the week after." It was all about moving forward and continuing the fight, even when it hurt, even when I really didn't want to, even when I wanted to just sleep and eat chocolate cake. (I have learned that watching wedding cake shows on TV makes me crave eating those wedding cakes! *lol* Not saying I'll stop watching them, but I should always have some healthy alternative on hand when I do.)

In Day 2:
I thought my ship was sunk with the pizza buffet and a shot in the arm that made me want to do absolutely nothing. But instead of fighting myself, I changed it up. Around 4pm I turned to Hubs and said, "I don't want to go to the gym!" in my best whiny voice. At 4:20pm or so I turned to him again and said, "Okay! I have an idea! Instead of going to the gym, why don't we pack up the bikes and the dog and head to Cedar Lakes instead?" Hubs was excited and so were the kids, and we knew Joey would be super happy about it. So I walked and took it easy but sweated a bunch. I still challenged myself with that hill and with the try on the bike. And I went home feeling proud of myself and just plain happy.

In Day 3:
I procrastinated like it was my sacred duty, like the world would fall apart if I did what I was supposed to do. For like 2 hours I sat here making a plan of action for cooking. I wanted to make sure I did everything the most effective way I could. I wanted to perfect this art of prepping and cooking for the week. Around 1pm I started cooking, and by 6pm I gave up the ghost with 2 dishes done and the ingredients chopped for a third dish. I was so hungry (I thought) all day while I was cooking yummy food. And, yes, I sampled a bite or two - which, btw, is why I keep my calories on the lower end. I could probably easily eat 2,000 calories a day every day and still lose weight right now, but I figure I should aim low in case I miscalculate and/or take a bite of something here or there. Nothing awful went into my mouth yesterday. A bite or two of mozzarella cheese was the biggest thing I remember.

Finally, after eating a huge bowl of Jambalaya (OMG the amount you get is ridiculous!) and rice, I sat on the couch and watched Radio on TV. (*love* that movie!) It was dark outside before I started regretting the fact that I didn't even walk a mile yesterday. I had two choices - 1) call it a rest day and break my workout streak and my goal of working out every day, or 2) find a DVD to do. Jillian's 30-Day Shred was just sitting there. I hadn't tried the thing since May and I was still dreading the jumping jacks. After the first round and a half of real jumping jacks I realized something ....I couldn't breathe. My heart was racing. Yes, I was working out TOO hard. I knew my heart rate was over the aerobic zone and that wasn't going to do me any good, so I gave myself permission to modify and keep my heart in the right weight loss and heart building zone instead of pushing too hard. Yes, I still cried. It was the bicycle crunches...I didn't give up on them, but by the end I was cursing the TV and Jillian herself. But I did it. And I collapsed over the side of the couch and cried, and Shane asked me why I didn't just give up and end it early and I think I said something like, "She said I was a sissy if I gave up!" And we all laughed. And about 10 minutes later I loaded the Day 1 bootcamp video here on Spark and did that too. (MUCH more fun! *lol*)

Pictures from Yesterday:

Cutting up the "root vegetables" for today's cooking - Slow Cooker Beef and Root Vegetables

Slicing mozzarella for the Pan Chicken Parmesan

Bagging the ingredients for the Beef & Root Vegetables meal

The andouille sausage I almost didn't find at the grocery store

Cooking the chicken for the Chicken Parm while...

The jambalaya cooks in the slow cooker

Letting the Chicken Parm cool before I put it in containers in the fridge

One HUGE serving of Jambalaya (finally!). I really was hungry at this point!!

Battle 2 begins today!
Battle 2 = 355

Goals for the Next 7 Days:
emoticon Healthy and healthful lunches.
emoticon Get adequate fruits and veggies.
emoticon Use healthy snacks like apples and grapes.
emoticon Stay between 1600 and 1800 calories (no more than 2,000 on high cardio days)
emoticon No less than 64 ounces of water per day.
emoticon Get plenty of sleep.
emoticon Keep your head in the game!
emoticon Exercise at least 15 minutes per day. 30 minutes + on at least 4 days this week.
emoticon Strength train 3 days.
emoticon 300 crunches this week.
emoticon 10k this weekend! Don't finish last, but more importantly, FINISH!

Going to get ready now for Ethan's football game. His game is at 1pm, but we have to be there at 11:30pm for weigh-in and warm-ups. We're going to have a fun day! I'm going to wear my tennis shoes and try to get in some laps around the track. I may try Bootcamp video 2 tonight too.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THREEE 8/30/2010 6:31PM

    wowie zowie, you already 'went, girl'!!! SOOOO inspire Sunday, i'll prepare ahead...i WAS proud that i PLANNED the whole week's eating and groceries...but now i lOOk like a slouch...i'm still proud but YOUR buttons should be popping!!! WEIGH to go!!! emoticon

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MENACE79 8/30/2010 5:27PM

    Mmmm... I want to eat everything you made! I love that feeling of productivity. Where did you get the jambalaya recipe? Looks fantastic!

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MAGPIE17 8/30/2010 9:06AM

    Woohoo, win the battles, Esther!

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VANILLAMAMA 8/30/2010 8:20AM

  Keep up the good work. U reminded me of not wanting to give up even though Im tired.

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MRSSIBRAT 8/30/2010 6:53AM

    you're doing great!!! I love how you pushed yourself to still get out and get moving even if you didn't go to the gym!!Thats how to get it done!!

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CBARRETT10 8/30/2010 12:20AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BOURNBABE 8/30/2010 12:14AM

    Woohoo! Congrats! emoticon

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BIGMAMAT 8/30/2010 12:13AM

    Oh how I love the way you set your goals! You go girl! I want to come to your house for dinner! yum. that looks fabulous! Have great week. emoticon

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RAVENSONG37 8/30/2010 12:00AM

    You make me cry with joy.

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FLWRCHLD97 8/29/2010 11:00PM

    you are doing great! you are worth it!!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WISHICOULDFLY 8/29/2010 9:59PM

    Girl you are doing it ALL!

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KNOWMOREBBK 8/29/2010 9:28PM

    I'm exhausted just reading what you have to do. You are doing so awesome by planning out your meals. I do the same and it helps so much. It eliminates the "middle of the week" trips to the grocery store. Plus, its so great to wake up in the morning knowing that you don't have to pack a lunch. Love me some of that extra sleep time! Way to go! No stopping now!

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PEGGYJO44 8/29/2010 9:21PM

    You are an inspiration. Keep it up. Doesn't it feel great!

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 8/29/2010 6:02PM

    DANG! You are KILLING those pounds!!

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LIVE2SAVELIVES 8/29/2010 5:16PM

    Sooo Jillian Makes you feel like the devil too huh?? LOL Sometimes I could slap her, yet if I ever got the chance I would hug her soo tight! lol Your dishes look amazing, I am learning to cook, but still not very good at it. Every time I click on your page I am more and more inspired by you!

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CALLIKIA 8/29/2010 5:02PM

    Lol! I just realized that second picture is a turnip (i think) and not the mozzarella! D'oh!

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CUATROMOMMY 8/29/2010 4:41PM

    You go girl. The pics of your food cooking are gorgeous. Enjoy!!!

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MARYBELLROSS 8/29/2010 3:23PM

    I'm so impressed. You go girl. Wow!

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BAYBELIEVER 8/29/2010 3:13PM

    Wow! You had a great week, even though it sounds like you had some stumbling over the mental part! But you should be so proud--it sure sounds like you are! And you have a 10K coming up, right? You will be ready and you will rock it! Have a great week!

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TNLONGHORN 8/29/2010 3:00PM

    You had an absolutely stellar week. Nice job!

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DLEE27 8/29/2010 3:00PM

    Way to go on DOMINATING Battle #1!!!!!
The food looks yummers!

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SASXONTHEMOVE 8/29/2010 2:28PM

    Awesome, sweet thing! You are doing so amazing, and YOU ROCK for not 'phoning it in'!! It's hard, but you did it!!

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TKPHOTOGIRL 8/29/2010 1:45PM

  Fantastic week! The food looks lovely! Have fun at the game, and I hope next week goes just as well - best of luck with the 10k, you WILL rock it!

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ERIN4771 8/29/2010 12:45PM

    i'm glad i'm not the only one jillian yells are doing so great on your journey, your progress is inspirational....thank you for that emoticon

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ERIN4771 8/29/2010 12:45PM

    i'm glad i'm not the only one jillian yells are doing so great on your journey, your progress is inspirational....thank you for that emoticon

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-SHIMMER-ANN- 8/29/2010 11:55AM

    Haha, I can't watch cake shows either :P And as for your calories, don't keep em too low!! You're creating your skinny metabolism right now, and if your body gets used to surviving on less than 2,000, weight maintenance can get pretty sticky (well, sucky that is...). So take your time, baby that metabolism, and KEEP IT UP!!!

111 lbs, OH MY AWESOME!!!

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SIXTEES 8/29/2010 11:05AM

    Sounds good. Hey if you would send me a link to the Jambalaya recipe - I'd love to try it. Looks delicious.
Nice pictures. and yes...Congrats on beating the 360's. It's definitely good that you keep chipping away by just showing up. I've only been at this for 5 weeks, but I can see the rewards of consistency already. It's my self-esteem and energy perks.


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LIS193 8/29/2010 10:16AM

    You are doing great and you are so right - showing up is half the battle. You're here, right? emoticon
Thanks for posting your pictures - it looks really good.

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_AIYANNA_ 8/29/2010 10:00AM

    "The fact that something is difficult doesn't mean it's impossible to do" That's what I tell my students every day when they complain and just give up, but you my friend are the perfect example of strength of character.

I really like your plan and the fact that you have prepared your meals for the whole week. It's a time-saver plus you're less likely to be tempted to eat something else if your meal is already prepared. Another spark friend recommended a site called that has a two week meal plan and shopping list which help you save time and money.

Keep up the brilliant work and have fun at the game!

Elen xxx

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ANELAKANOA 8/29/2010 9:54AM

  Congrats on that huge loss this week!!! You killed it! emoticon emoticon. I've always wanted to make jambalaya but think its to much work. lol Have a great day!


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Recap Battle Day 2, Day 3 Plan

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Quote of the Day
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

Day 2 Recap Battle 1
Battle 1 = Seeing 359.9

Weigh in Day 1 -- 360.0
Weigh in Day 2 -- 359.3
Weigh in Day 3 -- 358.0

I keep forgetting to take pictures of my food.

Lender's Wheat Bagel with Whipped Cream Cheese
Coffee (about 12oz.) with 2 Tbsp. of creamer
Calories = 314

1 lg. slice of whole grain bread with 1 Tbsp. natural peanut butter
Calories = 205

Carloni's Lunch Buffet (Hubs' choice)
1 breadstick
3 tiny slices of veggie pizza
1 tiny slice of pepperoni
about 1/4 cup of chicken alfredo
Calories (approx) = 566

Snack 2:
Watermelon, about 2 cups, diced
Calories = 97

Ham & Turkey Club Sandwich with light mayo and lettuce on whole grain bread with colby jack cheese
1/2 serving of Doritoes
Calories = 483

a little more than 1/2 c. Edy's 1/2 the fat ice cream
Calories = 174

Total Calories = 1,839
GRRR! A little over, but not too much.

Water for the Day: 64/64 ounces

Gym - I didn't go.

Our Day -
Instead of the gym, Shane and I went to the grocery store early and I had a plan for my meals for the week. I may have missed one or two things, but otherwise I'm good to cook all day. My knee still felt loose and hurt, and after my shot in the arm my muscles felt like jello = no ST. Instead we took the boys over to the park with their bikes. They rode, I walked with the dog. We climbed a big hill to see the other lake, which I'd never been to before. It was fun and beautiful and hot!

After a while I got brave. I borrowed Hubs' bike attempting to try again. For years I've been unable to bike because my stomach gets in the way. I was really too fat to ride a bike. But yesterday I climbed on, and after one stumble I got both feet on those pedals and then I went. I felt like I was flying! I remembered how great bike riding used to feel. I *love* it!! The whole rest of the time there I kept thinking, "I RODE A BIKE AGAIN! I RODE A BIKE!"

I didn't burn very many calories but I felt amazing! It was an amazing day and I took care of my knee. Sometimes it is important to take it easy.

Hubs has been amazing and complimentary all week. He says he's noticing the changes and told me yesterday that my face was "cute." *lol* Adorable man!

And now I hope the scale reflects my efforts at weigh-in tomorrow.

Plan for the day:

I'm cooking today. Right now the chicken is all thawing out. I've got a plan to cut up everything, put some stuff in bags to be cooked later. Some stuffed will be cooked today and reheated another time. I've got to work on not sampling everything today, though!! *lol*

Not sure what I'll do for exercise. I really want to buy a bike and just go to the park again and RIDE! *lol* It's funny how much riding sucks in the gym but how great it is outside.

Pics from Yesterday:

My "cute" face. *lol*

Bike-ridin' boys.

The lake on the hill. (I should've taken pictures of the hill!)

A pic of Hubs, me and the Joe-meister! (Compare to pic in my gallery from late June and there's a huge difference! I can actually stand next to him without "leaning in" to get the shot!)

Joey got in the lake to get a drink and cool his paws. He *loves* hiking! I never would've guessed but he is always happiest when we're hiking and exploring!

Poor Tiggy didn't get to go. :(

And then we all did something really awesome. At 8:50pm we watched the Space Station pop up from the S/SW horizon and go across the night sky, setting on the N/NW horizon! We even got it on video using my iPhone! SO cool!

Yesterday was family day. Now today I just have to keep it together and get this food cooked for this week.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_AIYANNA_ 8/29/2010 2:47AM

    It's so great that you had such a fun family day. Way to go on the bike!!!! I'm sooooo happy for you. My bike was stolen from our garden last month and I can't wait to buy a new one!!!

Keep up the great work!!!

Hugs, Elen xxx

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RAVENSONG37 8/29/2010 12:24AM

    Dude. I love that lake. When I come to visit, you can deliver my meals there. I will live in the lake. Thank you.

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COLD_GOLD 8/28/2010 9:03PM

    wow! what a lovely day! I am so happy for you. Family outings seem so much more holistically healthier than a treadmill. What a great example for your kids. Some of my best memories with my parents are of going hiking and going for bike rides emoticon

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DLEE27 8/28/2010 5:24PM

    I have that same quote on my white board right now.
Yay on the bike!!!!
And you are looking gorgeous as ever in the pics!

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BETTYBOO001 8/28/2010 3:58PM

    You seem to have a great outlook on this journey, great idea to take pictures of your food. Keep up the good work, great pictures
Tracey emoticon

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SIXTEES 8/28/2010 3:17PM

    Beautiful pictures - you look so healthy. I'm inspired to take a hike - beautiful lake there. emoticon

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MARTELLA3 8/28/2010 2:13PM

    How great to have an permanent hiking partner (your dog!) Good for you for not having the all too common perfectionism most of us suffer from. Sounds like your fed your soul yesterday. Great choice!

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