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In Plan Mode, Once Again - W15.D4

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Have you noticed that even though I *try* to keep track of the week and day in my blog titles, sometimes they just get out of order? *lol* I swear I'm either trying to lose days or gain them. *shrug*

I've spent half the morning in plan mode doing this...

...and the other half getting pounded with work for this weekend. *growl*

Let's ignore the second part of that and go back to that purty picture up there. Ain't it nice? On that calendar (and the mini calendar that can fit in my wallet) are all the workouts I have planned between now and the end of the month (and a little extra). I *love* making calendars for myself and this one's been on my wall at work for the past year or so...

It used to have color coded the stuff I had from my 2 jobs, my school stuff, my extra-ciric. activities, the boys' school stuff, and any family stuff we had planned. (See..there was a definite need to organize!) Now it only holds my work stuff, my workout stuff, and anything we're doing as a family. It looks much prettier!

But I decided that this wasn't enough because I got all sciency this morning (which I never do) and that led to me figuring out certain days to do certain exercises. Truth is, when I started I was only really walking and doing Yoga. Since then I have gradually added new things in because I never, ever want to be bored with my workout routine. So I added things like Zumba, the elliptical, rowing, the stationary rowing machine, hiking, and now boxing. And next week I'm going to hop on those bikes I've been eyeing at the gym too! *lol*

So because my head goes into a gym full of options and can't figure out what to do each day, I decided to organize myself. This week looks like this:

Monday - 2 mile training (45minutes), boxing (15m), full ST
Tuesday - 10 minute walk, 11 minute walk, Zumba (50m), boxing (10m)
Wednesday - 3 mile training (60m), full ST
Thursday - 35m walk at lunch
Friday - elliptical (30m), punching bag/boxing (15m)
Saturday - RACE DAY! Debbie Green Memorial 5k Walk

I then figured out how many calories a day I would burn and how many each week (which I want to be over 3500/wk). If I do the right things I can easily meet this goal.

Now what, praytell, was the reason for all this? Well, I started to notice yesterday and the day before that I'm getting hungry more often and for more food and certain types of food (usually carbs and protein). I thought maybe it was just a "hungry" day (we all have those right?) until I got like 2-3 in a row and I KNEW it was actual hunger pains. I realized that I may be burning too much and not putting enough in to fuel me. So I got all sciency and organize-y. What I realized? Yeah, my body needs more fuel. Period.

So now I have scheduled my training miles, my Zumba classes, my work lunch walks, my bouts with the punching bag, my battles with the rowing machine, and my rides with the bike...I even scheduled in heavy cleaning as exercise EVERY WEEK to make sure I do it! *lol* And then I bought some stickers, cuz Cheryl and some of my other SparkFriends like stickers to give them a visual boost for a job well done.

A few things following this creative endeavor:

1 - For those of you runners/walkers/racers - what do you normally do the day before race day? Do you do a normal routine? Do you back off? Do you take a full on rest day? What about the day AFTER the race?

2 - What are THE BEST foods pre and post workout. I know about carb loading and protein recovery, but I need some foods I can put on a list and then just grab without thinking.

3 - How soon before a workout do you typically eat? I had one day last week when I knew I ate my snack WAY too soon (like 2:30pm) and I didn't get to Zumba until 7pm and my stomach was P.O.ed at me!!

4 - What do you eat before your race, and how long before? After?

5 - Okay, this 10k looming is freaking me out! I went from 2 - 2 - 3 mile training weeks and then this week its supposed to be 2 - 3 - 4...but I won't get to do the 4 because that's my 5k race day. Next week, then, is 2 - 3 - 5. Am I going to die skipping that 4 mile training?? Should I just walk myself back to the starting line or work something like that out after my race (I really don't want to do that...I just want to enjoy the day!)

...........and now for something completely different:

A picture of me and Hubs last year at my step-brother's graduation. Wow, how things have changed!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MERAINA 8/5/2010 8:27AM

    I am not organized. I do things on the spur of the moment most of the time. I need to get a plan, plan it and then DO it!

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    I only have one competitive race in my past (and a handful of non competitive ones) but here are my ansers.

1 - Day before I totally rested. My last run was on Thursday morning and my race was Saturday morning. I did do active recovery though (slow walking, other low-impact stuff). After the race, do what you feel up to. Do get some serious stretching in at some point close to finishing and again before you go to bed that night. After my race, I went out and ran the next day, because I felt fine (stretching helped!)

2 - Yogurt. Bananas. Melon (especially since it is so hot). Peanut butter. Granola.

3 - I do 45 minutes to an hour beforehand. For races though, its a little longer than that because of getting to the gate and settled.

4 - I ate Greek yogurt with granola and blueberries, milk and some melon. It was about 2 hours before the gun sounded. And then afterward, I SCARFED some bacon and eggs. SO HUNGRY.

5 - Just enjoy the day. You can get back to training the day after your race.

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PRETTYMANDI 8/4/2010 5:35PM

    i love all that organization! I need to get myself a system like that!

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TEAM-SARAH 8/4/2010 4:08PM

    It sounds like you've got a good routine down, just remember you've gotta be okay with switching things up because things happen. Some days you truly will need to take a break, and not because you're lazy and making excuses or something! I think it's great how organized you are. Stay motivated!!

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ERIN1128 8/4/2010 3:38PM

    First of all, realize that 5k is only 3.1 miles, so I think you're going to have an easy time. I do a lot of 5k walks...I walk roughly a 5k in my normal workout, so I don't skip the day before, but I'm usually sore from trying to do it *fast* so I tend to take the day after off. Be very careful what you eat before! I really regretted eating even a light breakfast before my last 5k walk - I usually just grab a granola bar like an hour before. (Note that I'm used to exercising on an empty stomach, since I work out as soon as I get up.) As for post-exercise, I usually drink a couple glasses of water before I eat anything.

Good luck!!!

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HEALTH-E-CLARE 8/4/2010 2:57PM

    Okay from my novice experience
1) I have an active rest day before a race. I have a 10k on Saturday which means I'll probably do a 2-3 mile run/walk on Friday. Keep the muscles moving, but nothing to stress them out. The day after the race if I feel fine I'll probably do the same 2-3 miles, if I'm sore I walk and stretch.
2) I love spaghetti the night before races, but I just love spaghetti. Bananas and protein bars are good post race snacks, and I typically reward myself with a good lunch/dinner post race.
3/4) I try not to eat 1 hour before exercise, but on race day I'll grab a banana as I'm headed out the door and since the race starts at 7:15am I know I'll cut it close, so I'll eat light.
5) Your training will be fine, if on the 5 miler you walk more than you thought, it happens, continue on and you will be fine. I know you'll do great.

Good luck on your 5k this weekend!

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Double Challenge - W14.D3

Tuesday, August 03, 2010

AB is midway (I think) through our TIKI challenge (July-August).

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I know I rocked the TIKI Challenge in July because I lost 10 pounds and even when I felt like giving up, I got back up on that horse.

I pushed myself in my cardio sessions by reminding myself that the time I put into it is equal to what I get out of it.

I grew in my strength sessions by hitting the gym equipment and really working those muscles! (And they're starting to show!!)

I stretched myself in my flexibility sessions by reminding myself that stretching is a vital part of the process, not merely an afterthought.

I pampered myself on my rest days by enjoying much needed time with my family.

This week's cardio workouts are going to be inspired by MY SATURDAY 5K!

This week's strength workouts are going to be inspired by SEXAY PINK BOXING HANDWRAP GLOVES! HOT!

This week's flexibility workouts are going to be inspired by THE AB AMAZON LADIES, WHO REMIND ME TO REEEACH!


I'm overhauling the parts of my diet that need it this week. -- I'll work on making sure to rebalance my meals and get the most out of my workouts by fueling and refueling with the right foods!

For 5 days I am going to do my very best to see what it would be like to feel my body running on good fuel only. If I was a brand new car, I wouldn't fill myself up with crap. So I am going to spend 5 days making sure that I only put good stuff in me. I can do 5 days. I want to see what it feels like to run on the fuel I am supposed to be getting.

- Balanced meals with carb, protein, healthy fats and fruits and veggies, and good for me snack choices!

Tracking Food is going to be part of the TIKI Challenge for this week, and I know that Yoovie is going to be stopping by my page and checking my food diary.

- So remember that cheating at all is just cheating yourself out of the best you can get from this week!!


The one thing that I am NOT going to do between now and midnight on Saturday is: TELL MYSELF "CAN'T" or CONVINCE MYSELF IT'S NOT WORTH IT -- IT IS SOOO WORTH IT!

My anthem on my mp3 player this week is going to be: She Wolf by Shakira! I'm totally letting myself out of my disguise.

Motivate me by: letting me know you're there and that you support me. The gym gets a little lonely sometimes...
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In addition, I've become co-captain of the Awesome Adventurers team of the Biggest Loser End of Summer (BL-EOS) Challenge over at Team 300 lbs. Plus. I'm so excited to be taking on a leadership role. I know it will help me stay accountable as I look out for the rest of my team and make sure we're all on track as much as possible and making our own paths. I absolutely *love* that we're Adventurers, because I feel like this every week! I always want to try something new and different and make my own adventures, no matter how small they might be.

So for this week, the plan is simple: MAKE AN ADVENTURE OUT OF IT!

emoticon I started boxing last night. I just put on my new pretty pink handwrap gloves and started hiting the crap out of the bag. I felt strong and powerful! It didn't feel like much of a workout until I realized I had sweat pouring off me. I even got so into it a few times I high kicked the bag! *lol* I'm sitting there beating the crap out of this huge bag, going from one hanging bag to another, trying to duck and weave a bit like I've seen on the movies (*lol* I learn everything from TV and movies...oh, and the internet, because, yes, I did google "how to box" *lmao*). I'm sitting there looking at the crap quality of the boxing gloves they have and some kid walks in, says hello and puts on some gloves. I asked him if he does this all the time and he said, "Once or twice a week probably." And then he proceeds to just punch the crap out of the bag. I told him I was new and he didn't seem to think there was much more to do other than punch the bag and get out your anger. *lol* *shrug* It was FUN!!

emoticon My family and I have picked out 4 Geocaches to go find this month. One I wanted to do this past weekend but the boys were gone up to Grandma's. With the 5K this weekend, I'm not sure we'll get it in this weekend (hey! Maybe Friday!) but we will be hitting the park soon to try this new adventure. If you haven't heard of Geocaching, Google it and check it out. I signed up over at and can search for locations of caches near our house.

emoticon We're headed back to the lake! I looked it up and the lake is out of danger bacteria range, so we're ready to hit it up again for a few good swims before summer ends. The boys start school on the 20th, so we have a couple good weeks left to get some quality time in!

emoticon And the greatest adventure I have planned for August? Well, that's easy! My 5k this weekend! It's a strange start time (7pm), but I'm excited that I'll be doing what I thought I might not be able to ever do before. And I'll have a bib and a chip time and all that crazy stuff to post on my blog! And pictures! I already told hubs he has to take tons of pictures for you guys!

( note. I found jean shorts yesterday! As many of you may have heard, my really baggy jean shorts have been driving me simply BATTY! I've been hunting for jean shorts at the stores but everyone is switching over to their fall lines and getting rid of their shorts. *growl* Anyhow, head over to Lane Bryant yesterday and they have a few sets of jean shorts left and ONE size 28! It's tight, but I'll take care of that in no time! I'm excited! Oh, and for those of your searching, they have all of their shorts and capris 50% off right now because they, too, are getting ready to put out their fall and winter lines. So if you haven't been, head over and pick up some stuff!)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Great goals for the week and month. I'm really glad you are the co-captain of the Awesome Adventurers. Kick a$$ on Sat.

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2010_IS_MY_YEAR 8/3/2010 8:46PM

    good luck this weekend on your 5k. i'm sure you are going to kick butt! you've got an amazing attitude and outlook on all things. you are certainly active in many many ways and that is fabulous.

i'm all geared up for our challenge. never joined a challenge before so reminding myself to remember to log in, post and weigh in is going to be tricky (i work long hours, communte a minimum of 3 hours a day both ways, and head staight to the gym after), not much time to think in between there.. lol

but, i am ready, willing and able to be a contributor in our team.


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-JENSSPARK- 8/3/2010 1:14PM

    Plenty of shorts down here in Houston! I went looking for a single pair of black pants for work because my old ones are falling off and I couldn't find them at all at Avenue. All they had were shorts/capris! I went to LB, but they only had the new "Right Fit" ones and I wasn't paying $50 for a pair of pants I will need to replace again in a few months. UGH, bring out the fall clothes already and help me out!

Great plans for the week. August is going to rock!

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SUGIRL06 8/3/2010 1:07PM

    Wow that was a lot to take in! Sounds like you are doing to have a GREAT month!!! Thanks for the geocashe website. And I loooove "She Wolf" by Shakira but I like the spanish version, not the english one. The video to the song is cute too!

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MAGPIE17 8/3/2010 12:12PM

    I like your plan! You're doing an amazing job!!

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KARVY09 8/3/2010 10:42AM

    Best of luck on your 5K!

And boxing! Awesome!!!

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MERALO 8/3/2010 9:56AM

    Hey, I'm here! Think of me when you get lonely at the gym ;-)

I'd like to try geocaching sometime, looking into over here but for now we do orietneering about twice a month which is a load of fun.

Keep up the good work...and by the way, you lost 10 pounds in July???? That's freaking awesome! My hero!

Rock August, go get it!

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RUNNINGNP2B 8/3/2010 9:34AM

    You are doing so well, Calorie Killa! And you are going to have a fantastic time with that 5K this weekend and all the plans with the are busy but that's the fun of life!

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Being Okay With Just Me - W15.D2

Monday, August 02, 2010

So yesterday I signed up for my first ever 5k. But...there's a catch. I will be WALKING this 5k, not running it.

The fact that I even feel the need to clarify that for all of you should show you something about my mentality. The truth is, Spark has been a wonderful tool, but it has also brought me to moments of jealousy for all the things I cannot do. I have been so inspired by people who are so far along in their journey I'm suprised they can still see me on the path behind them...WAY far back...behind that tree....around the corner...behind that ugly looking dog. Yeah...back there! So while I signed up and paid for my first "race," I'm having trouble getting past the fact that I cannot yet run a 5k race.

What's the point of 'racing' then, if you can't run?

The point is simple. I cannot I walk. Because of years of damage from weight and just being a woman (raise your hand if you're a chick with bad knees!), and a surgery at the age of about 16 disconnecting my ligament from my patella to the outside leg muscle, and years of knee is, well, pretty shot. I have tried previously to run on it (because I just *love* that feeling of running...I don't know why), but every time I do I feel fine during the "run" but afterwards I find myself on the injured list. Trips me up each and every time. The last time I attempted to jog was probably in May, maybe early June... It felt great! I did little intervals of really, really slow jogging on a walk with my son to my mother-in-law's house. On the way back home, while climbing out of the car (Hubs was already at his mom's so we visited for a while and then he drove us all home) -- POP! -- out went my knee.

I blamed it on a million things. You should hear the garbage that comes out of my mouth when this happens to me! You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but there is still this huge amount of frustration, especially when I've been working SO HARD to build up strength and lose the fat...those extra pounds that every doctor says are my knee's demise. I hit the wall and I almost always lose my momentum. "Why should I try so hard if I'm just going to get hurt? How am I supposed to do this when I try to do this and something like THIS happens?" (I'm whiney when I don't get what I want exactly the way I want it.) Still, one thing that Spark brought me is body awareness. I realized that day that I still cannot safely jog without risking a serious injury. It's too much too soon. I had two choices - risk injury after injury for the thrill of the achievement, or stick to the safe activities that I could continue again and again without hardly any risk. This time, and this time only, I backed off.

So when I think of this race day and I hear myself troll through the list of negative comments about how I'm not a "real" competitor or how silly I'll look with a race bib for a walk... As many times as I tell myself that I still can't even WALK that quickly, I have remember one thing. I walk because I can. And there are people who can't. And I used to be one of those people.

My youngest son is now 8 years old, but when he was bored I was reaching for the stars as far as my weight was concerned. I was topping the scale and avoiding the world. I couldn't move or do much of anything. I got a hernia from getting frisky with the Hubs one night. Even THAT was too much exertion for me! I didn't sleep in the same bed with my husband anymore, I had my own bed. I was depressed (I had *bad* PPD on top of other things) and wanted nothing more than to eat my way into my grave. Life meant absolutely nothing to me. Walking through the grocery store wore me out so much I'd have to sit down several times (the bags of dog food were my favorite comfy spot to sit). I asked my husband to do almost everything for me. I wouldn't get off my butt to cross the room if I didn't have to, because it hurt. I hurt ALL THE TIME.

And while I was much better off in April of this year, I found myself feeling those same pains. I felt myself out of breath and in pain just trying to lap the track once. When I started this journey I couldn't even walk a mile without feeling like my legs were going to fall out from under me. I did it. I pushed through it. It usually took me longer than 30 minutes to do a mile...closer to 35 or so, at least. But I did it one step at a time.

April 18th was just a little over 100 days ago, and in those 100 days I have taught myself to walk a comfortable 20-21 minute mile pace. If I push, I can get a brisk 16-18 minute walk out. The first time I tried to walk 3.1 miles with my kids it took me ...I don't even remember. Well over an hour. I *think* it was an hour and fourty-five minutes. I had to stop at least 4 times. I got bloated and swollen at mile 2. I felt like I was going to pop by mile three and I collapsed on the porch when I finally made it home. My husband was so concerned he asked me not to try it again for a while. That was May 23rd. Now, on August 2nd, the mere idea of walking 3.1 miles on Saturday - I have no doubts that I can do it. In fact my only concern is making good time (I want that "under an hour" victory!). I told my husband and my mother-in-law my plan and neither one of them doubted me.

So what's the moral to this story? That's easy.

On Saturday I will COMPETE in my first ever 5k. I will get a RACE bib and a time chip thingy for my shoe, and I will have every bit of pride in my heart as I would if I were running a marathon. Because for me, this is a major achievement. And not only that, this is a major stepping stone for the future. After this 5k I can look forward to walking a 10k, and then maybe even a half marathon! I can look forward to doing things I could not have done 8 years ago.

I AM an athlete, and Saturday I will compete for the first time ever. An athlete, you say? Well, yes...of course! I have trained in my disciplined. I followed training schedules. I worked on increasing my speed and stamina. I have increased my distance and focused on increasing my speed. I have pushed myself in cross training on off days to ensure I'm building healthy, lean muscle. I have focused on carb loading before long walks and high-protein recoveries. I have concentrated on refueling my body with the right things, with things that will improve my training. In 100 days I went from a girl who couldn't walk a 30 minute mile to a girl who can do 3 miles at an easy 21 minute mile pace. I've learned about the right shoes, about pacing and breathing techniques, about stretching, about warm-ups and cool downs and recovery. Where in there do you see a non-athlete?

So this Saturday, this athlete will compete in her discipline -- WALKING.

I will pin on that bib (and take a picture) and secure my time chip (and take a picture). I will do my stretches (and take a picture), and then I will step up to that starting line and wait for the gun or whistle or bell or whatever tells us to begin. I will set my pace. I will encourage those around me. I will pump my arms and call upon the muscles I can now see in my calves to propel me forward. I will keep my eyes focused on the forward and will listen to my body to ensure I get the most out of it. I will demand the utmost from my training without pushing myself beyond my physical limit. I will keep an eye on my time but remember to pace myself for the finish. I will pass at least one person, and then chuckle as someone else passes me. I will try to get some of the water they give us at our stops into my mouth. And then I will cross the finish line and I will get to know that feeling I read about in a million running and racing blogs...that feeling of accomplishing something. And the fact that I walked instead of running won't matter, because I will have done it. And I will have joined an elite group of athletes who can say that they have.

Don't know about you, but that sounds okay to me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUGIRL06 8/24/2010 8:32AM

    Wow I think I teared up a bit. You can walk and that is awesome! Because you are right, some people can't. Its perfectly fine to walk a race because you are doing it! And you are raising money too for other people who need help! Go you!
PS. Catching up on old blogs! Way behind...

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    AMAZING blog! You have left me in literal tears. I've been (slowly) doing the couch to 5k plan, but couldn't even imagine entering now when I know I can't run the entire thing. But then I read your blog, and I realized...I CAN enter now! I WILL enter now! Thank you, thank you thank you for an amazing inspiration! I can't wait to hear how you kick that 5K's ass!

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    You are going to kill that 5K and you know it. And like you said we are all at different stages in this "race". Some are way ahead and some are behind and its all ok. I, for instance, really wish I could do Zumba, but my bad knee won't let me do that. But I can swim for exercise. So I guess we have to take what our bodies can give us at this time and hope for even more improvement/changes in the future. You are an athlete and so am I. We just might not look like your typical athlete. My brother is a fitness fanatic. He does triathalons etc. Thankfully he lives in Georgia (far away). But he was visiting last week and we were talking about our swimming. He was bragging that he could swim a mile in 1/2 hour. I said I could probably do it an hour - I haven't ever counted my laps but I think I am close. He sort of snorted in derision. I didn't say anything at the time but I wish I had told him to try that mile with an extra 200 lbs in his back and see how fast he could swim then. Oops sort of went on a tangent there. But my point is, we are athletes even at our size and no one can take that away from us. Keep up the fan frigging tastic work.

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PRETTYMANDI 8/3/2010 2:33PM

    Yay on the new pants! LOL

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BECKYB73 8/3/2010 12:26PM

    The only race to worry about is the one to reclaim your health; and that's something you're kicking ass at.

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    You go out there and rock the course girl! You will have a blast, and I too can't wait to see the pics.
I remember my first 5k walk. It was cold. I was slow, but I felt good just being there, wearing the t-shirt and bib. I remember feeling the need to run across the finish line. It was exciting, and when I looked over at the runners crossing their finish lines, I decided to just picture myself doing the same. But crossing the line, whether you run, walk, crawl or roll, is what is important. Go Esther GO!

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KNOWMOREBBK 8/2/2010 9:45PM

    I am so happy for you Esther. You have found the athlete inside of you and that athlete is not only strong, but smart. I'm a chick with bad knees and my knees reminded me last month to slow it down a little. I listened and am a stronger person for it. You walk that race with your head held high and see the look on your kids faces when you pass the finish line... Now that's the picture I want to see.

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MAKALANI22 8/2/2010 8:45PM

    oh my gosh, it's amazing that you're taking the step to walk it! try not to let your ego get in the way and tell you that you need to run it, or that you even need to walk it quickly. accepting our bodies where they are at and loving them as they change is what it's all about!

i'm proud of you. can't wait to hear about how it all goes!!

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SPUNKYDUCKY 8/2/2010 7:39PM

    YAY!!!! Of course you are an athlete! Keep saying it until you believe it! So proud of you for signing up and getting out there. I can't wait to see your pictures of you in the racing bib. It is a great feeling

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 8/2/2010 7:03PM

    I love you for writing this Esther. I've been struggling with my own 5K stuff, and reading this makes me so happy for you and so proud of you. I wish I could be there cheering you on, but I'm looking forward to the pictures!

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MAGPIE17 8/2/2010 6:43PM

    You're going to rock the 5K, Esther!

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    YOU ARE AN ATHLETE and you are incredible. I really struggled with the "not being good enough" thing when I was getting ready to run my 5K. I could run the whole 5K, but if I did walking/running intervals I not only felt a lot better but my time was actually 5 minutes FASTER than just straight running. It took a while for me to overcome it, but I found something that works for me. And I crossed that finish line incredibly proud.

Someone told me once about racing: There will always be someone faster than you and there will always be someone slower than you. Because even if you finish last in the race, you are finishing ahead of all those people who didn't have the strength to compete in the first place.

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CALLIKIA 8/2/2010 5:52PM

    Snort! I said when my son was bored. That's all the time to hear him talk. Lol!

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    You are amazing! I look ahead at what others have done and wonder if I'll EVER get there. I don't want to put my life on hold just to work out like a maniac, but at the same time I want to make some decent progress. I think we need a form of tunnel vision in which we look forwards but see no one but ourselves... I am SO excited for you! I would be there at the finish line cheering like a lunatic if I could!


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KILA1228 8/2/2010 4:39PM

    Honey be proud of have far you come!!! You look awesome in your new pictures. In those pictures you can see the DIFFERENCE!! We all have our moments of jealousy and discouragement but we push through it and feel so much better afterwards!! You are DOING IT!! Be proud Saturday and I'll be looking forward to seeing those race pictures!! Don't forget to take pics afterward!!

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July Recap-August Goals - Week 15

Sunday, August 01, 2010

First up, full-on frustration...

Weigh-In Day

Highest Weight: 466.6
SP Starting Weight: 416.2
Last Week: 368.0
Goal This Week: 366.0
Actual: 369.2
Weight Loss This Week: Gain of 1.2 pounds!
Total Weight Loss with SP: 47
Total Overall Weight Loss: 97.4

No. I refuse to move my ticker. I refuse to believe that this is anything more than my body adjusting. Yes, I was a little lax this week with my eating, but I stayed true on my workouts and pushed myself til I hurt. I had to take my rest day yesterday instead of today because my legs and arms and abs were SO sore...and I wake up today and they still don't feel 100%.

This week is here to challenge me. It's here to see how bad I really want it. This is me asking me to prove myself. That 366 was in sight and I will just have to fight that much harder to get it. I have to remember that I lost 6 pounds last week! I have to remember that gaining has not been a regular thing. I have to give myself the authority to forgive myself and move on from here. Because I realized yesterday that I'm really tired. I turned to Hubs and said,"I wish I could just be DONE already. I'm exhausted!" It really is exhausting thinking about what to eat, drink, and what activity or exercise to do every single day. It's exhausting to keep myself so focused. But I'm in it for the long haul, so I'm ready to push through physical and mental exhaustion.

July Recap - August Plan

Weight beginning of July: 379.3
Weight goal for beginning of August: 371.3 (-8)
Actual Weight beginning of this month: 369.2
Actual Weight lost in July: -10.1

So even though this week was a bust, I still lost 10 pounds this month, and that's nothing to scoff at! As for next month? I WILL get that 366 and move past it. I'm already signed up for a 5k walk this weekend, which I'm hoping will push me to really concentrate on the things that I know work for me. Slow and steady wins the race, right? My strength, stamina, and speed have all improved this month, and I can't be angry at myself for anything else. I have to learn to rejoice in what I have done and move on from here, making better choices for myself and continuing my success.

Inches lost in July -

.75 in the calf
1.25 in the waist
.5 in the hips

My body feels much different today than it did on June 30th. I'll post pics later so we can compare, but I think the shape of my body is changing ever so slightly. People are certainly noticing much more.

So the plan for August? Keep at it. Work the nutrition goals you set for yourself in the beginning and get back on track with eating more fresh fruits and vegetables. Play time is over...time to work! (Though I can have fun doing it and then it feels a lot like play time.)

8/8 - 367
8/15 - 365
8/22 - 363
8/29 - 361

I'm so ready to see those 350s!

I, Esther, vow that today I am recommitting myself to the program I have set for myself. I will eat more healthy foods. I will cook at home instead of going out to eat. I will pick some fresh vegetables from my garden and enjoy the bounty the earth gives me. I will not let myself punish myself for missteps. I will learn and grow from the challenges I face in order to become a better, happier, healthier new me. I will stop focusing on the future of "the end" and start focusing on today and the here and now. I will ensure that my workouts benefit my heart and my soul. I will learn something new this month to add to my list of healthy activities. I will challenge myself to do better and allow myself the time to rest now and again. I will realize that I am not perfect and I could never try to be. Sometimes I will fall, but I will get back up again. I will not let the scale control my actions today or any day. I will remember that in life there is no scale following me around announcing my weight to those I meet. I am my own ambassador. A smile on my face and confidence in my step will show them that I am a strong, powerful woman who takes care of herself body, mind, and spirit. I will remember that by taking care of myself I am teaching my children healthy habits. And I will enjoy having my kids with me on active outings once again. I am recommitting myself to this process because it makes me feel like I can conquer the world. It makes me feel strong and wise and gives my heart the fullness it needs. I promise this to myself.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    wonderful, wonderful!

Great job on the 10 pounds GONE forever! You're so inspiring!

And...I absolutely LOVE this:

"I will remember that in life there is no scale following me around announcing my weight to those I meet. I am my own ambassador."

SO well put, and SO true! Thank you for reminding us all!

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    Fantastic job with the 10lbs. You can do it again in August. I know its exhausting but wasn't it more exhausting hauling your butt around 97lbs ago or so? You have come so far, don't stress on how much further there is, because you will be doing this for life, but hopefully it becomes easier and easier. (at least I am hoping that it does). As usual, thanks for sharing.

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SUGIRL06 8/2/2010 7:42AM

    Awesome plan girlie!

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MADEMCHE 8/2/2010 2:10AM

    10 pound loss is amazing in July! Way to go! Hope you have a fantastic August!

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RAVENSONG37 8/1/2010 11:49PM

    You are totally gonna rock august! Great job in July and I believe in you!

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    Wow, you are doing so good for yourself!

Sore muscles are good but it also means that tiny tears occurred from working out. That can cause inflamation, and that could mean more water is temporarily held in the tissue. I can't be all scientific about it because I'm an accountant (medical jargon scares me), but I think you won't see that 1.2 gain hang around long once the muscles heal...

You ROCK! Thanks for blogging - it's motivating and inspirational to read your blogs!!

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KNOWMOREBBK 8/1/2010 7:55PM

    WOOOO HOOOO!!!! That-a-girl. And I have to believe that the 1.5 lbs gained was all muscle. Bring on August!

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IPATRICIA 8/1/2010 7:31PM

    Wow, what a blog.You are an inspiration!!! emoticon

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Hodgepodge Thursday with an F - W14.D5

Thursday, July 29, 2010

A-E are done. G I did last week. Guess I kinda missed something there. So, without further ado, here is your Hodgepodge Thursday, F style.

emoticon Flaxseed
Okay, peeps. I'm just starting to research thanks to blogs from ERIN1128. Anyone want to add to the research? I'm just sayin'...the stuff looks gross! But I'll try anything once.

emoticon Fear
I realized today that while I've posted several race forms on my vision wall here at work, I never filled any of them out. I looked at them today and realized that their August deadline for early registration is about to pass me by and I had better get on it. So why did I procrastinate? Well, part of it was that I wasn't SURE a month ago that I could DO a 5k or even a 10k! I was so sure that an injury was going to hit me and I would be out the money. But the real reason? Yep, you guessed it. I was afraid. Scared. Like pee-your-pants scared. What if I couldn't do it? What if I got all excited and told everyone and then I had to crap out? What if everyone thought I was stupid because I'm WALKING a RACE instead of RUNNING it. But all of that is crap. Excuses. The dreaded E-word.

So as of tomorrow (I'd do it right now but the sites are blocked at work *rolls eyes*) I will be signing up for three races.

Aug. 7th is the Debbie Green Memorial 5K Walk in Wheeling, WV
Sept. 4th is the Charleston Distance Run (10K Walk) in Charleston, WV
Oct. 2nd is The Barkcamp Race 5 mile trail challenge in Belmont, OH

And about my fears? I'm handling those.

The rediculous "they're all gonna laugh at you" -- Why the he!! would other runners and walkers be concerned with what I'M doing when they're trying to run a race, for crying out loud!? As for my friends and family, they'll support me...and if they don't, ah-well! And even if I have to go uber slow, even if they shut down everything and pack it up to go home, I will finish. If that 80 year old man can do 3 miles, I can definately do ALL of these. I'm training and getting fitter and better able to handle this every single day! And if I do get an injury? I'll asses the damage, check with the doc, and then do what needs to be done or push through. Get over your fears, Esther! They're just silly!

emoticon Food

My nutrition goals have slipped a little bit since I've been working so hard on the mental and the fitness. I'm still watching my calorie and other ranges, but I'm not keeping my meals as balanced. I've slipped back into fast food choices (even though I chose healthy) and prepackaged foods. I'm still trying to figure out how to balance 10-hour days and 1-2 hours at the gym with cooking. It's a work in progress here in my head. I leave the house at 7am and don't return until 8:30-9:00pm most days. Now that we're adding in Ethan's football practice (we'll talk about this later) I'll have one more thing on this already full plate. For right now? I'm just NOT dealing with it. If I can get by still losing weight and inches by making those healthy fast food choices and quick sandwiches or whatever, grabbing time to cook whenever possible, then I'm not going to worry about it right now. I have enough on my plate. If it ain't broke, don't fix it...yet. (I heard a song the other day that said, "You're so afraid of breaking it you won't let it bend" or something like that...that's how I'm feeling about it.)

emoticon Football

My 8 year old has been so excited to start football since he signed up in like early June or something, maybe before. He's been counting down the days to the 26th (Monday) for so long now and when the day finally came, we went with the information we were given in June - 6pm, HS football field. We showed up, him in full gear, and NOBODY was there. Not a soul! The field was locked. We stayed until 6:30 to make sure they didn't have to move back the time or something and still nothing. My son cried.

Tuesday evening my son FINALLY gets ahold of his friend and teammate who tells him that he has already missed 2 practices - Monday and Tuesday nights. Apparently they moved the time to 5:30pm and moved to another random field of grass in town somewhere and NOBODY CALLED US! (Can you tell I'm angry about this?) I sat in that car with a dejected little boy for 30 minutes, doing everything I could think of...calling his friend, searching the White Pages online on my iPhone for a coach's number. All we had was "Coach Jackson" and some indication that there were a lot of Steves acting as coaches on the teams. I called random numbers and still found nothing. And I was the one who had to break his heart and tell him that we couldn't sit in the car all night waiting on something that wasn't going to happen.

So tonight is practice 3, practice 1 for Ethan, and I'm so mad I want to punch every single coach in the face and kick them between their legs. Shane is already on warning to hold me back from going to jail because NOBODY makes my baby cry and then makes ME out to be the bad guy! By the time I leave I had BETTER have number to every coach as well as numbers for several other kids. I had better have a schedule too, as well as some verification that my child will not be penalized in ANY way for missing 2 practices when THEY are the ones who dropped the stupid ball here!

Okay, rant over.

emoticon Fumer

Finally, I decided last night that smoking is impeding my progress fitness-wise. (I know, duh!) So with Hubs' help, I am going to try to give up the ghost this weekend. I am NOT looking forward to this weekend, so I'm trying to come up with fun, active things that will get me out. Swimming, hiking, weeding the garden, washing the car, whatever. Something to keep me busy and remind me how hard it is to breathe with crap in your lungs. So, uhm..heads up for all of you - expect the cranky to start soon! *lol* And wish me luck! And hold me to this! I don't know if I CAN do that 10K in a reasonable time if my lungs are screaming for oxygen.

For all my TIKI girls - KILL IT! For all my SP Friends - FACE YOUR FEARS! For anyone and everyone - TODAY IS A NEW DAY! MAKE IT GREAT!

Peace out, Holmes.
emoticon (Fido)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAVENSONG37 7/30/2010 10:45PM

    you are simply incredible and i love you!

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ANGEL7912 7/30/2010 11:02AM

    Aww, the football story is horrible emoticon I can't believe nobody called to inform you. I would def want to kick them between their legs too,LOL. Sounds like you are doing everything you need to keep going and get ready for those runs. And if you have to walk some then so be it. At least you are DOING it and not everyone has the courage to even try. So I say "you go girl". Keep up it!!!! I have faith that you can do all of them.

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ERIN1128 7/29/2010 5:17PM

    Dang, girl, I was just looking at your May v. June pics on your home page...amazing! :-)

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MAGPIE17 7/29/2010 2:00PM

    Rock it, Esther!!

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MERAINA 7/29/2010 12:38PM

    Absolutely L.O.V.E. this blog!

Keeping it real, love it.

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