Monday, July 19, 2010
See, I've got a lot for you today, so settle in for a little show and tell...
About two months ago, I looked over at Hubs and said, "Hey, babe? When I lose enough weight that my rings don't fit anymore, will you buy me a new one?" He said yes, and now that they're about to slip right off my finger, he's claiming he doesn't remember this conversation. *lol*
Let me explain. This is my wedding band:
When I got it I was 6 months pregnant with Ethan and probably near my highest weight of 466. When I lost the first hundred, my wedding band became too loose to wear on it's own. I paired it with a smaller ring that Hubs bought me for Christmas one year.
But now this ring is getting too big as well. (No, wait - that's giving IT the credit. I mean I'm getting too small for this ring!) (BTW - excuse the nails...I swear I'm giving myself a manicure a little later today! *lol*)
So I'm hoping that by Christmas, Hubs will be forced to fill his obligation or risk his new skinnier, sexier wife going out in public without rings on her wedding finger, therefore implying that she is single and ready for the taking. ;)
OMG I've been so sore lately in my calves and arms. Though my calves are looking more amazing than they have in years and are even feeling smaller to me! *LOVES IT!* I may have to hold back a tiny bit tonight at the gym, but there's no way I'm giving myself another "rest" day. Yesterday turned into "I can do whatever I want" day near the end, and I ain't having that again!
As of 6:30 this morning, you can say goodbye to this:
My straightening iron gave out this morning...and that makes me sad. :(
So now it's back to what it looked like on date night:
BTW - THIS is what I looked like when the girls were giggling. WTF, dude? I look HOT!
Even the Mothman thinks I look sexy, dude. He's reaching out to grope me! PERV!
I woke up this morning and begged Hubs to not make me go to work. This happens so often now it's just gone beyond rediculous. Hating your job(s) for years on end is just no way to live. Before I had a reason to stay - they worked around my school schedule. Now it's just a paycheck. Nothing more. I hate that! And the resumes keep going out into the world with no answer, so getting up this morning was super difficult. At one point I'm laying there talking to Hubs and I say, "I just want a nice house!" and I start crying. Thank the Lord hubs butted in with, "Alright, hold up now! Take a step back. You haven't even gotten out of bed and you're already crying." I knew he was right, so I wiped my eyes and got up anyways. *sigh* I'll keep pushing because I have to, but something's really gotta give soon!
With the kids gone, hubs and I took full advantage of the fact that we could eat out this week and not spend a fortune. We also took advantage of the alone time together. On one particular day, I asked Hubs if he wanted to go grab something to eat. "Sure," he says. And when I ask him what he wants he says, "Well, I *want* Long John Silver's, but I know you can't eat that..." Now lately I've been trying to work my eating around my life, instead of the other way around. There's really no reason why my husband shouldn't have their yummy, but, oh so bad for you, fried battered fish. Lord knows I *love* that stuff with some tarter sauce. But while I like it, I didn't want to blow my calories on a piece of it that day....it wasn't worth it to me. But why should Hubs have to sacrifice for me? I appreciate that he does, and sometimes I might insist that we go somewhere else, but that day I was feeling brave and I said, "Don't worry, I'll find something I can eat. Let's go." And go we went. And Esther ordered off the Freshgrille menu.
While it's high sodium, most of the stuff I can eat without too much calorie concern (except the corn coblette...avoid this thing like the plague, people!). The veggies were wonderful, I had a bite of the breadstick, I ate a little more than half of the shrimp and rice and I was full. It's a little more pricey than a regular 'fat' meal, but I'm worth the extra cost.
Saturday, I made these Zucchini "Crab" Cakes. Hubs wasn't overjoyed,..I thought they were OK. But they'll do in a pinch. I found them a little dry so I serve them with a little light ranch, spread out on the plate to look like more than a "little" *lol*
I'm having these for lunch today.
And FINALLY! I picked the boys up in Chillicothe yesterday. For those of you that don't know, my mom is on Spark too (check who remains #1 on my friends list...there's a reason for that! *lol*) She's lost over 16 pounds so far and she started just after I did! She's got the eating thing down, but she's really been working on exercise. (She's not like me...she has always, and will always find exercise a chore she MUST do to lose/maintain...she does not enjoy it! *lol* Love you, Mom!) Anyhow, I figured we needed a new picture of our skinnier selves, and while I'm still not happy with how I look in pictures, it's a pic of me with my mom, so I like it anyhow!
42 pounds gone. Lots of lessons learned. Lots of healthy recipes now at my fingertips. SparkFriends that keep me from crashing in upon myself. Whatever the ups and downs I'm dealing with, I must remember that I am making 2010 a year to remember! (Now if I could land a great new job before it's over? - ICING, baby! ICING I will gladly gobble up!) Onwards and upwards (err...downwards on the scale, but you know what I mean!) 165 days left until 2011. Let's make them count...every last one of them!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Starting Weight: 466.6
SP SW: 416.2
Last Week: 377.8
Goal This Week: 375
Weight Lost This Week: 3.8 pounds
Total Weight Lost with SP: 42.2
Total Weight Lost overall: 92.6
How did I lose 3.8 pounds? Uhm...I don't know. Seriously. I can assume it's because I might finally be done with the TOM bloat. I can assume it's because I switched up my routine by going to the gym for the past two days. Either way - I will take it! I got on the scale like 12 times and never got a number above this. I will admit that I went to the movies last night with Hubs for a date night before the kids get back and I ate some movie popcorn, but I did have like 1,000 calories left that I could burn, so I'm guessing it didn't hurt me too much. ;)
I pushed myself at the gym yesterday with that "last chance workout" vibe running through me. I hopped on the elliptical first and it felt good (even though my calves were already sore...I raised the incline and started working my butt and thighs at a higher incline) so I ended up doing 25 minutes. I lovers the elliptical! Then I did a lap around the indoor track and hopped on the treadmill. By this time I didn't think I could do 10 minutes because my legs were so sore...but I talked myself into pushing past it. I warmed up at a 2.5 pace, increased to a steady 3.0, increased for a minute at a 3.5 pace, and then did a steady 3.0 until I hit 23 minutes before lowering back to 2.5 for the last two minutes as a cool down. My mental conversation was hilarious.
"Come on, you wimp!"
"If the Biggest Loser people can do this, so can you!"
"You got this."
"You get to rest tomorrow, just push today."
"Earn yourself a cup of ice cream here."
"Look at that guy lifting that huge friggin' weight...if he can do that, you can do this."
So after 50 minutes, I spent another 5 stretching (except for 10 wall pushups I did). I have to say that the group of people there on a Saturday morning is much different from the one on Friday night. Basically it was a bunch of older dudes upstairs and a bunch of younger guys downstairs on the free weights. I got a few looks from one guy, but nothing nasty or menacing. All in all, it was a good day and I felt strong.
Like I said, last night hubs and I went to see Inception (OMG, one of the BEST movies I have seen in a very, very long time! SOO good.) While we were walking through the mall waiting for the movie to start, I saw this girl look at me, turn really quick to her friend, say something, they both laughed and then the other girl looked at me. I have been fat all my life, and I know when people are making fun of me. So as we walked by, I kept staring at the first girl, because I knew she had to look again....and she did. I smiled at her and her smile dropped immediately. I think I freaked her out a bit. As I'm in the bathroom, though, I'm sitting there thinking about how I should say something to her and stand up for myself. I formed the thoughts in my head ...
"I would *love* to know what you're laughing about. Is it because your life is boring and I'm married, with two beautiful children, a honors degree in English, and a full-time job? Is it because I'm a published journalist for the Gazette and just had an interview in New York City? Or maybe it's the weight thing. Is that it? Because I worked out at the gym for an hour today, what did you do? I'm telling you honey, making other people feel inferior in order to boost your own self-esteem doesn't work. You might feel good for a second, but you'll soon realize that you have to go back to your pathetic life, and nothing that's wrong with me will make any of that better for you. Grow up and find something good within yourself."
Thankfully (probably), the girls were gone when we got out of the bathroom. It still felt good to remind myself of all the pluses in my life.
Today I have no plans other than going to pick up my boys at 4pm.
This week? I'm going to try to get the gym every day. I get home about a quarter to 7pm and they're open until 9pm, so I should have time to get a workout in before bed. Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays are ST days. They have a little chart there that I can use to track my ST and eventually increase my time or reps.
Goals for next week:
Cook up more zucchini recipes and eat healthy at home.
Track on Spark Savings. We're trying to save money for an eventual down payment on a new home.
Workout at the gym every day except today. (I keep thinking that the more time I spend at the gym, the more money I use and the more my 38 bucks is totally worth it!)
Act cool. Live life and enjoy it. And finish reading my book so I can start another. I'm reading The Master and Margarita right now...it's really quite good, Russians are crazy and I love it!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
So, yes. I joined the gym yesterday. And then worked out for over an hour. I have to say it - I'm in love! The people are great. This tiny, blond bombshell of a girl showed me how to use the elliptical and then kept an eye on me the whole day, making sure to show me the machines I didn't understand and making sure I was doing alright. She was wonderful. She kept saying stuff like, "We recommend working out about 3 days a week to start out until you feel up to doing more." I had to finally admit that I've been working out on my own for a few months and that last month I worked out every single day. She was wonderful and we had a lot of fun giggling together. I think I *might* have impressed her a bit as well. ;)
I started out on the elliptical, because everyone's been telling me that it's great for people who have bad knees. Very low knee impact. I thought I'd do about 10 minutes, but I ended up pushing myself to do 20. (Thanks AB girls for telling me to do more than I thought I should.) I then walked around the indoor track about 4 times before I hopped on the treadmill for 25 minutes. Walked around the track once more just to get my feet under me again before doing a full round of Strength Training. It was great and I can't wait to go back today.
I figured it out actually. If I did all 3 days of Zumba that I can attend, at 3 bucks a pop, I'd still only save about 4 bucks from going to the gym. Four bucks is definitely worth being able to use all the equipment, have a full round of classes to go to/try, and being able to shower after. Plus, I can go 6 days a week! Totally worth the cost.
They've got the following classes:
Low impact aerobics
Med-High impact aerobics
High impact aerobics
Core workout (though they've discontinued this for the summer, nobody showed)
They're also open until 9pm Monday - Friday so even though I work late shifts I can still get a workout in late. YAY! They're closed Sundays, so I'm going to use that for a rest day.
I'm leaving you with a photo of a cat fight from the two kitties. They made me laugh so much yesterday as they chased each other around the house.
In the scheme of things, Tiggy almost always wins because Max is younger and just wants to play. She tries not to P.O. Tigg too much. *lol*
Friday, July 16, 2010
Okay, guys and gals. I'm sending out a call of desperation here. Hubs pulled 3 more zucchini off Henry (our monster zucchini plant).
So now I have 3 monster zucchini and one normal (but still large) zucchini. So, as I head for the grocery store later, I need zucchini recipes! *lol* Anyone have any tried and true favorites?
Yesterday was a success! I made sure that I kept walking on both of my 15 minute breaks (though I was thoroughly exhausted on the second one and only walked for 10 minutes, but still!). Then I took a 35 minute walk at lunch -- and it felt amazing! And I actually went 1.5 miles and felt like I had the energy to do SO much more! Even though I've been away from it for a little bit (a little under a week), I've still got it. I ate under my calorie range (much like the fist few weeks I was on here). I drank about 10 cups of water. I was totally ON yesterday, even though it felt like the longest day ever!! (I leave the house at 7am, I did 10 hours at my regular job, then had dinner and did another hour and a half at my second job before driving the hour home....LONG!)
Today the plan is:
Clean living room
Sign up at the gym (and workout there for an hour!!)
Take the dog for a walk
Go grocery shopping
Cook healthy meals
Stop by the furniture store (they're having something called a "Garage Sale" and I don't know what that's about but we really need a new couch and chair...so maybe we'll find something there)
Right now I'm just waiting for Hubs to get out of bed. (Though if he doesn't get up soon, I'm heading off without him...)
Hope everyone has a wonderful Friday! One good thing about working those long 10-hour days is that I get Friday off. It's kinda like Saturday: Part I.
I'm leaving you with a great pic of my son in his football gear and some pics from last Saturday.
In full gear...MEAN!
In his position...
Ain't Ethan so cute??
Logan, being goofy as heck!
Me and the Hubs at the horrible game. (They lost 50-0! *lmao*) It's this county's semi-pro team, which means a bunch of washed up 40-50 year old men who still want to play football, but their bodies can't really take it.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Sit down. Shut up. Listen.
This rebellion against yourself. Yeah, that's stupid and it has to end. You are not 16, you are 29. Grow the hell up. What the hell are you fighting against anyhow? My concern for your safety? My concern that you will have a crappy life if you don't do these things, these things we both know you CAN do? Quit your whining and get with it.
You need to get your arse in gear before it grows to gargantuan size again. You got here before and stalled. Why the hell do you seem to think 380 is a comfortable number for you? You aren't comfortable. Sure, you're proud of what you've done - but that's more reason to keep doing it rather than go into this "maintain" mode, as you call it. You're maintaining unhealthy ways, that's what you're maintaining. Get off your arse and do something already!
If you don't move for at least 30 minutes today I'm going to KILL you tomorrow. If you don't do 30 minutes today I'll make you do 3 hours tomorrow. That's right, three hours of non-fun cardio and brutal strength training. Why? Well, because your fat butt needs it and you keep fighting against doing it. So what if Zumba was cancelled last night? Sure, lovely excuse to do nothing...but you could have taken the dog for a walk. Instead you walked by him doing the walk of shame, trying to ignore his face that said, "Why don't we walk anymore? I miss you, Mommy!"
You can't get by me with this crap anymore. Eating french fries again, are you friggin' kidding me with this crap? Who the hell cares how "good" they taste (and even you can recognize that they weren't even that good!), they are not going to get you anywhere. You complain all the time about how fat you are and how you just want to know what it's like to be skinny, and then you order french fries? Yeah, they looked real great next to your grilled chicken. Might as well have just ordered a steak, a cheeseburger, and some chocolate cake. Oh yeah, speaking of cake. Throw it the hell out. Who cares how much it cost? You're not wasting anything. You had your fun, now it's over. You are worth throwing away 6 bucks. Don't you realize that?
Look, I don't really want to be negative with you, but I have to do something to pull you out of that hole you've been hiding in for over a week now. You're doing everything halfway, and that won't get you anywhere fast. We both know that we want this more than just about anything right now. The career will come if you keep putting out those resumes like you've been doing. The house and new car will come once you get the job situation in place. The move to somewhere exciting can come later too. You're only 29, you've got plenty of time yet. Stop thinking that you die at 30 or something. You're moving in the right direction, and you know plenty of 50 year olds that have given up. You're NOT giving up on me. I'm not giving up on you! It's time to accept what you can control. This includes what you put into your mouth and what you do with your body. Go to the gym. Bite the bullet and buy a month's membership. And USE IT! Think of the stationary bikes and weight machines and treadmills and ellipticals just sitting there, waiting to be used. Think of sweating out those toxins in the sauna and taking a nice warm shower before heading out the door refreshed - and strong!
I love you. You know that. And you've taken too much time to deal with the stress of last week. Job-shmob. It will happen when it's meant to and in the way it's meant to. Deal with that when it comes. For now, let's get back to it. Because I noticed this morning that you're starting to feel squishy again. You're not feeling those strong muscles anymore and you seem to have forgotten how good it feels to wake up one morning and realize your legs/arms/stomach/whatever has gotten smaller, stronger. Let's love this healthy way again. Let's get back to it. It's a love in baby. A love of sweat and tears. A love of hard work and discipline. A love of compliments and looks of pride from those around you. A love of reporting on all the wonderful, amazing things you're doing. A love of who we've become and who we have yet to be if we keep going.
I love you. Let's do this! *hug*
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