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T-I-K-I Week and Weigh-In - Week 12.Day 2

Monday, July 12, 2010

Yesterday was weigh-in day...but I didn't blog. Mostly because I haven't been feeling up to it lately. As you can tell from my last few blogs, I've been emotionally drained lately. Some of it is TOM. Some of it is facing the future and the challenges that go along with that. I'm frustrated a lot lately and wondering why I can't seem to "catch a break" as they say. I should know better. Nothing in life is easy (at least not in my life). I've had to work hard for everything I've wanted, and this is no different at all. So my choices are to sit around and whine about how it's not fair, which is what I've been doing a lot of lately, or to take the bull by the horns and push forward. I'm ready for step two now. Come what may with job and weight loss, I'm willing to fight so that, no matter what happens, I can say that I gave it my all.

Starting Weight: 466.6
SP SW: 416.2
Last Week: 378
Goal This Week: 376
Actual: 377.8
Weight Lost This Week: .2 pounds
Total Weight Lost with SP: 38.4
Total Weight Lost overall: 88.8

Yep. .2 pounds is all I got from this insane week. I'm really not surprised. I have no excuses - I just didn't fight hard enough for those 2 pounds I wanted this week. Maybe I'll pull out all the stops and catch up this week, but even if I don't, I'm going to give it my all.

Goal for next week: 375 (-2.8)

In order to get that little extra I'm trying for, I have to keep my ducks in line. It's only 6 days of pushing myself. I can do 6 days, honestly. Here is what I have planned:


Monday (today): Zumba after work, walk dog, garden (if not pouring...I can walk in the rain but I don't feel like digging in mud all night), clean, Yoga lunch break

Tuesday: 20-25 minute brisk walk in the morning, day 1 of 30 day shred (and try to make it all the way through this time), walk dog, clean, Yoga lunch break

Wednesday: Zumba after work, walk dog, clean, garden (weather permitting), Yoga lunch break

Thursday: 20-25 minute brisk walk, walk with dog, clean, garden (weather permitting), day 2 of 30 day shred (yep, spacing it out...I have to right now), Yoga lunch break

Friday: hike up the back hill for 2 hours (weather permitting), walk dog, garden, AM and PM Yoga

Saturday: Zumba, walk dog, garden, clean, day 3 of 30 day shred, 3 mile endurance walk (this day sounds a little difficult...I hope I don't run out of steam by the end of the week)

I'm also going to try to start doing a little ST throughout the day. I hate sitting at this desk for hours, so each hour I'm going to get up and do two sets of a certain ST exercise. I'll end up working my entire body, but it won't feel overwhelming.

But exercise isn't enough, Esther. Yep...I know that. Food is a big part of it. Right now we're skint, so I will have to work with what we already have.

Monday (today):
Breakfast - toast
Lunch - Tator Tot Casserole (leftover from last night)
Dinner - Vegetable Couscous with beans
Snacks - Fiber One bars, Stacy's chips, apple

Breakfast - Omelet with 1 slice of toast
Lunch - Couscous with beans (leftovers)
Dinner - Vegetable Stir Fry (need to figure out the protein here), Brown Rice
Snacks - apple, Fiber One bars, cauliflower with light ranch

Breakfast - 2 Eggs and 2 slices of toast
Lunch - Stir Fry leftovers
Dinner - Hearty Vegetable Soup with Black Beans and Lentils
Snacks - Cauliflower, Stacy's chips, Toast with Freezer Jam

Breakfast - Toast and a Smoothie
Lunch - Soup leftovers
Dinner - Lean Hamburgers, Veggies
Snacks - apple, Fiber One bar, hummus and cauliflower

Friday: (payday = shopping)
Breakfast - Fiber One pancakes with light syrup
Lunch - Grilled Salmon and Vegetables
Dinner - Chicken Pot Pie
Snacks - Fresh fruits and vegetables

Breakfast - Omelet or Fiber One pancakes with fruit
Lunch - Gyros
Dinner - We may go out, since it's our last night w/o the kids
Snacks - Fresh fruits/vegs, Pita chips

If I can stick to this plan at least 90% of the time, I should be golden! We may end up going out on a "date," hubs and I, but I will make sure I order the right way, eat only until full and not stuffed, and take whatever is leftover home for the next day.

Finally, my TIKI challenge for this week. It's all mental...

T - Trust yourself. You have the tools, you just need to put them to use.

I - Investigate healthier options at the store, and plan ahead before setting out!

K - Keep fresh fruits and veggies on hand -- and USE them!

I - In all things, you must try. You must fight! Put up those dukes!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TX.PATRICIA 7/14/2010 9:35AM

    You can do it!!!! Great planning helps!

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MERAINA 7/12/2010 5:39PM

    Keep on going girl! You will make it happen!
Keep that chin up and fight for what you want!

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KILA1228 7/12/2010 2:49PM

    You're different a planner! I admire people like that!! =) Don't worry about feeling like blah, blah. We all have those moments and your not alone, girl!!

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    Love it! You're one busy girl! And hey - I know it can be frustrating but a 0.2 lb loss is MUCH better than a 0.2 lb gain, yes?

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KARVY09 7/12/2010 9:13AM

    You can rock this, Esther. Don't sweat the weigh-in. You were flying and eating on the run and that has a lot to do with it.

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    Great plan for the week. Planning is so important and I definitely don't do enough of it. I am sure you will rock your next weigh in. Keep up the great work. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SUGIRL06 7/12/2010 9:00AM

    Great plan for the week!!! You can do it!

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This is My Blog for the Day - W11.D7

Saturday, July 10, 2010

A few things.

1. I have totally sucked lately. Totally mentally and physically exhausted. Trying to get my head back in the game.

2. I'm so proud of my little football player. He just spent 3 days at football camp. He got his pads and helmet this morning...I took pics and will post them later. SO cute! He can't wait to start practice. He really wants to be a more defensive player so he can knock people down. *lol*

3. My boys leave tomorrow for a week at Grandma's house. I hope to take this time to get my act together and get some heavy workouts in, as well as some healthy cooking. Time to stop sucking.

4. I feel completely disinterested and disconnected. It's time to move on for good.

5. I miss you all, but I don't quite have the energy yet to devote to the catch up. Got some driving to do tomorrow to get the boys sent off, so I don't know how I'll feel tomorrow either.

6. It's my TOM, and while the Depo has made it easier, the emotional crap remains. Wonder if this is part of my sucking lately.

Take care everyone! Just know that I'm still here, just barely. Just tired and trying to mentally center myself once more. We all have times like this...and I need a little time to wok through it on my own.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Take care of yourself. I'm so glad you are getting a small break with the kids at gramma's house. My daughter went to camp to day and I am so looking forward to some needed peace and quiet. Take this time to pamper yourself a little bit. If you need a little inspiration, reread some of your former posts. Take care! emoticon

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RAVENSONG37 7/11/2010 3:11PM

    I love you and I know you don't suck! Do what you need to and take care of you. You have been doing really tough stuff lately and you have a ton to give yourself credit for. Huge hugs from me to you. Looking forward to hearing from you when you're able.

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KNOWMOREBBK 7/11/2010 11:50AM

    Keep logging in and you'll get back to where you need to be. You have a lot going on. Make sure you make time for you.

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MEGSFITNESS 7/11/2010 7:52AM

    Awe, take the time you need to sort through this and figure things out. You're far from being anywhere close to "off the wagon".

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BAYBELIEVER 7/11/2010 12:33AM

    Take care of yourself! Get the rest you need, start back tracking and touching base slowly, whatever works for you. We are here when you are!

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Half Good/Half Bad - W11.D6

Friday, July 09, 2010

I woke up at 4am yesterday morning. (Did you know they have one of those in the morning, too?) By 6:15am I had finished all morning prep and was headed to Columbus to catch a flight to NY.

The flight into New York went wonderful. I actually enjoyed flying (for once) and it was clear most the time so I got to watch the world go by under us. I think I drifted off to sleep a couple times. *lol* Once I got there, I made a quick change and grabbed a cab. The cabbie was great! He was aggressive, but not crazy (hard to come by! *lol*) He dropped me off in front of the building at just after 2pm and I had just enough time to grab a quick bite to eat. (I had researched earlier and knew there was a pita place on 14th street. YUM!) Got a really healthy pita with grilled chicken, hummus, grilled eggplant on a whole wheat pita. It was SOOO good! A little too early for my taste, but too hot to just wait outside, I headed up to my interview. (BTW - I'm standing outside the pita place with my suit on and some girl comes up to me to ask me where the pizza place is around there. *lol* She thought I was a local...that's so cute! I laughed and told her I had no idea! *snort*)

It went brilliantly. The VP seemed very happy to meet me and it seemed to me that I had all the qualifications they were really looking for in that position. She kept mentioning my journalism background and a small amount of PR-type experience from my other job. I asked a lot of questions about the job, and it sounds brilliantly wonderful. Like...perfect job. I WANT this job. I want to work for this woman. She's wonderful. The job is wonderful...and a real starting point to where I really want to be the rest of my life.

Problem? The pay. It's entry level pay. Suckage! But, if I put in two years or so, I could eventually move to something better paying, something more up to the place I have always dreamed of being. So for now, we wait. We see if they make an offer and then we try to figure it out. Whether we can do it. Whether it's worth it. Whether there are sacrifices I can make to make it work. We wait and then we decide.

It was all great. I finished my interview, walked to Union Square and sat down for a while to de-stress a bit. Then bought a Metro Card and took the subway through Brooklyn and on to the Air Tran to get to JFK in plenty of time for my return flight. All was well...and then they canceled our flight. It all fell apart after that. I ended up dealing with some really horrible girl at the Delta counter who gave me a ticket to Cleveland leaving at 9:10pm. She told me I could drive an hour to Columbus in a rental car. No big deal, right? HA! Cleveland is 2.5 hours from Columbus! She told me this was my only option other than spending the night at a hotel and flying to Minneapolis and onto Columbus the next day at like 4pm. She was horrible. She didn't try to find another flight (there was one on another airline that left at 8:55pm, btw.) She didn't offer to find me something out of LaGuardia. She made a Korean guy cry. She was HORRIBLE. I tried to talk to someone else, but my flight (for Cleveland) boarded before I could. The girl basically shrugged her shoulders at me and told me "tough luck." (BTW - totally their fault. It was a mechanical issue that canceled our flight.)

I figured I'd get to Cleveland and try to figure it out. And then I spent half the flight without a seat belt. Yep, you heard me right. I asked the flight attendant for an extender when I first got on the plane. "Don't worry honey. I've got you. I won't forget you. I'll see if we have any extra, and if not I'll give you the one I use for the demonstration when I'm done." And then she forgot. She did her demonstration, and then sat down and turned off the cabin lights. I tried to wave her over, but then we were headed down the runway. And then taking off. And then the pilot decided to keep the seat belt light on because of the storms, which I could see out my window, over the wing (which freaks me out already, btw). And then she finally decided to give out drinks...VERY slowly. And I was in row the back. Once she got to me, I was a wreck. I cried so much and was shaking. I nearly had a panic attack on that plane. Once she got to me she asked if I wanted a drink. I held up the undone seat belt and said, "Can I have a seat belt now?"

It was the most horrible hour of my life. Honestly. And while I hadn't intended to complain when I got to Cleveland, by the time I got there, I figured it was necessary. The guy at the Delta desk looked shocked to hear that I had no seat belt. (Yeah, really? I'm sure the FAA and TSA would be pretty peeved too!) They eventually got me a cab to Columbus to make up for the mechanical issue on the flight out of JFK (which they didn't even pay the cabbie the full fare...which made me angry!). I slept most of the way to Columbus. The cabbie was very sweet, and I tipped him what I could. Then I drove the 2.5 hours home.

I got home this morning at 4:30am. This means I was up for more than 24 hours with only a nap for about an hour and a half to two hours. SO tired.

Today I'll be writing an article about my trip. (How silly of them, to screw with a journalist...who wants bad press that bad?) After that, a strongly-worded letter to Delta customer service...and maybe a little sharing with the FAA. I'm not sure what I'll do, honestly. I just know that I don't want this to happen to anyone else. I realize I'm not a priority member, but that doesn't make me a piece of dirt. I realize that I'm overweight and need a seat belt extender, but that doesn't mean I don't deserve the respect and SAFETY that other people have by right. They have extenders on those planes for a reason. I always ask and never assume anything. I've never had any problem before. But here I was, unbuckled..and the girl managed to squeak out an "Oh, I'm sorry" and that was that. I don't want another overweight person to go through this. (Delta SUCKS at dealing with overweight passengers, btw.) This girl helped a bunch of other people feel "more comfortable" and all I wanted was the basics.

Think just what could have happened (I did for over a half hour without a seat belt). There MUST be a reason for seat belts on a plane. I thought about turbulence and how, if we were bouncing around, I could injure myself or fling into another passenger and hurt them. I did not want to hurt anyone on that plane. I felt guilty. I felt ashamed. I felt like it was my fault. And then I realized it wasn't.

Sometimes this weight thing is a challenge. And I'm working on it, and I hope to one day not have to deal with issues like this. But I will not stand for someone being treated differently just because of what they look like. I work for an anti-discrimination agency right now. I was in the Columbus Council on World Affairs when I was younger. I have stood against racist comments from others, or someone being treated differently because of where they're from, what language they speak, what race they are, what sex they are, etc. How come it's not okay to treat someone horribly because they are a minority, but it's okay to treat someone who is fat so deny them basic safety precautions. Why is this issue argued again and again, but nothing is ever done about it?

*sigh* I'm angry and saddened. I *hate* that this overshadows the beautiful day I had before this last flight.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

-SHIMMER-ANN- 7/11/2010 2:06PM

    Lame!!!! I hope you get the job... :)

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_TRIXIE_ 7/10/2010 11:36AM

    Wow. What a crappy end to an amazing day. I hope you write an amazing piece and that it gets picked up EVERYWHERE. Or at least places like Nat Geo Traveler or something. To not get a seatbelt extender is simply wrong.

But, I will focus on the positives. Congrats on rockin' the interview! That must've felt so good and so empowering to walk out of there with your head held high knowing that you kicked ass. :) I can't wait to hear what happens for you and your family next!

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STLRZGRRL 7/10/2010 11:26AM

    YAY YOU!!!

You DID kill the interview!




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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 7/10/2010 7:13AM

    I am so so so sorry that this happened to you. Definitely write to Delta to let them know of your experiences, it completely unacceptable. Don't let the negative overshadow the positive energy of your interview, though. If you want this job, MANIFEST this job. I will certainly think positive thoughts and send them your way. emoticon

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-JENSSPARK- 7/10/2010 12:26AM

    Congrats on the good interview! I can't wait to hear what happens!!

That really sucks about the flight. I'd have been so mad! Stick it to them using your words!

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    I had a bad experience with another airline several years ago and I collected the name of the offender and the ones who saved me and I wrote a letter! It felt good to speak up about the problems (checked me in under someone else's name and destination) and the successes (the lost baggage person was a saint!). I think you should let rip and copy FFA and TSA and anyone else who might care.

Besides that... WOOHOO on the interview!! If that job would make your heart sing then take it when they offer! Maybe you can do some freelance stuff to add to your income... I'm so glad you did so well!!

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TEAM-SARAH 7/9/2010 5:57PM

    That's ridiculous! I'm so sorry you had such a horrible experience on your return flight. Safety is a basic right. You paid for your plane ticket and you need to buckle up. Utterly ridiculous! I'm just so glad for you that it was your RETURN flight and not before your interview!!!! WHICH btw I'm so happy that it went well for you. I hope you get it and that you can find a way to make it work. It stinks that it's entry leave, but if it's going to put you on the right path... that'd be amazing if you can do it. Fingers crossed for you.

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    Well congrats on how well the interview went. I can totally understand how angry, frustrated, embarrassed etc. the seatbelt incident made you feel. I have not dared to fly for years because I was afraid, 1. they would make me buy a 2nd seat. or 2. the extender wouldn't be long enough, or 3. I would be squishing everyone near me. I even missed out on a trip tp Disney my whole extended family went on because I was too scared to face the possible humiliation. I give you huge kudos for being brave and even speaking up when you weren't treated fairly. I hope are offered the job and it works out. Keep positive. emoticon

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KNOWMOREBBK 7/9/2010 4:55PM

    I have had nightmare flights, but yours borders on living-hell. Stick it to them. I can't stand how poorly customer service has become in this country, but to actually put someone in danger? Come on.

Having said that...HOW AWESOME WAS THAT INTERVIEW!!!! WOOO-HOOO!!!!! It definitely sounds like a life-changer. I really hope it works out for you!


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HEALTH-E-CLARE 7/9/2010 2:48PM

    I'm going to focus on the positive... You had an amazing interview (Yeah-yah) and what sounds like an incredibly nutritious delicious lunch (Hurray) and got to go to NYC. I'll keep my fingers crossed that everything works out with the job.

Oh and now I think delta sucks....

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OTTAWABOUND 7/9/2010 2:39PM

    Ouch. I've had a few flights like that. And, as you say, it really isn't smart to play that badly with a professional writer.

I hope the job comes through for you. And I bet you won't be flying Delta if you get it :)

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RAVENSONG37 7/9/2010 2:26PM

    I'm happy and angry! Happy to hear that your day was awesome and the important part of the day all went really well. I'm angry that your return home was so stressful. I'm proud of you for being so prepared and kicking that interview's arse! I think you are amazing for so many reasons...none-the-least of which is speaking up for yourself!

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BECKYB73 7/9/2010 2:16PM

    Sometimes you have to take a step back, to be able to move forward professionally...that's something I've done and I haven't regretted it a bit. One thing I would suggest is that if this company isn't paying you for your travel or covering it, they should be. I don't work for a huge company, but EVERYTIME I bring in candidates from out of state, either we make their travel arrangements on our dime, or we reimburse travel expenses...whether we hire them or not. (you may already have all this covered, but I'm a mother hen, so I cluck)

Also, REAM THOSE ()*!@*!#&!!! airlines. I effing hate how they treat people, but the way they deal with us fatties and people with kids is usually unconscionable. Props for insisting on your seat belt. I never wear mine, cause I'm a rebel, but I probably should. I figure I'm wedged so tight in that tiny chair there is no WAY I'm falling out of it...crash or no crash. LOL

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SMURPH32 7/9/2010 2:09PM

    Well, way to go on the interview, first of all. And second of all, I HATE flying. I can totally relate with your experiences, well sort of, mine was a little different... my flight was delayed like 3 hours (ON THE RUNWAY) because of a little rain (UGH!) and then when I got to my destination (still 2.5 hours from my home) I wandered around looking for my suitcase for an hour until I decided that they must have lost it. That set me off... I cried like a baby. I was already so overwhelmed because that was the first time I had flown alone, and only the SECOND time I had ever flown. I have issues with flying, because of a.) all the other people and b.) I'm not in control. So.. 4 days later, my bag was due to arrive... well, Southwest gave me a form to fill out and sign saying that I didn't require the bag to be signed for (because I would be at work). So I left that for the driver but they didn't leave it!!! I had gone home on my lunch break to see if it came and I saw the sticker on my door... and then I saw the Fedex truck turn down another street... so I chased it down. I scared the crap out of the lady but dammit I needed my bag!!! Whew, that was a little bit of a rant, sorry! You'll have to keep us posted on how your reaming of Delta goes! :)

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MEGSFITNESS 7/9/2010 2:09PM

    Oh my gosh! that's so terrible :( I'm sorry they made you go through that... :(

If you want me to write an angry letter and boycott Delta, I completely will.

P.s. if you ever need to layover in Minneapolis, TAKE IT! and call me :D I'll meet up with you and tell you all about this lovely town that I call home.

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SUGIRL06 7/9/2010 1:43PM

    You must feel better after writing that all out! I am glad your interview went well and since you seem so pleased with the job, I hope you can figure out a way to take it! I'm sorry for the bad airport experience though. I have worked in customer service, and I don't care HOW BAD of a day you are having, you always should try to help the customer. She was just inconsiderate about the flight. I would definitely write about that at least. And I'm sorry the attendant forgot your seat belt. Don't they usually walk down the aisle and check each row? At least glance and make themselves available for help? UGH! Ok, I'm done now. Have a better weekend!

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    Oh, honey, that sounds absolutely awful! You should definitely complain about Delta in as many places as you can. Someone deserves to be punished for the way their customers were treated. It sounds like you had a hellish time. I've never been on a plane before and this makes me never want to ride in one, especially not from Delta.


As for the job, if I were in your position, I'd take the job. But that's just me. If I were faced with a job I wanted more than anything, I'd take it in a heartbeat.

Anyway, I hope you make a good decision.

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KARVY09 7/9/2010 12:48PM


Now that I got that out of the way.

I was in the same position as you as a journalist. I wanted to move to NYC but I couldn't deal with the low pay living in one of the most expensive cities in the world. And yes, it was expensive in NJ and the other boroughs too. I hope that you make the decision that is right for you and your family.

You totally should ream out Delta in an article. That behavior from the check-in desk to rerouting you to Cleveland to refusing to make sure you are safe on a flight is completely unacceptable and dangerous behavior. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

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Alright, Y'all - W11.D5

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Well, today is the day - which means I'll be out of reach all day. Thank you for all your well wishes. Right now I'm just hoping I make it through the day smoothly. (Did get a little boost this morning since my weight is back down to the 378 mark again...bloating, TOM..whatever.)

So, all of you kick major butt today. I'll be trying to make it through and not so much worrying about weight loss because I'll have other things on my mind.

Have a great Thursday. I've gotta go get ready now! Leaving here in an hour and a half...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEGSFITNESS 7/8/2010 8:28PM

    Hope today went well :)

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PENNEYV 7/8/2010 10:29AM

    Praying your interview went very well!

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    I am sending you postive vibes today for your interview. I wish you the best of luck. Go kill em!!!

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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 7/8/2010 7:11AM

    Good luck! Tiki tiki!!

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IPATRICIA 7/8/2010 5:10AM

    Good Luck. emoticon

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TIKI Challenge

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
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waist: 53.25"
hips: 66.5"
thigh: 29.5"
calf: 23.25"
boobnage: 52"
upper arm: 19.5" (loose) 17.5" (tight)
back fat/abs: 55"
knee: 21"

hip:waist= .8
BMI: 57.9

Where are you posting your before PICTURE? blog/team

Choose a TIKI to represent your fearless journey through the sweltering Summer to the oasis of Autumn, and to act as a reminder of your greatest strength:

I'm going to be a little selfish and call upon three TIKIs. I will call to Paka'a, the god of wind, to put the wind behind my sails and to bring me some cool summer breezes in this journey. I will call to Hi`iaka, the patron goddess of Hawai'i and the hula, to put some dance in my step and to teach me to defeat the monsters and demons that come upon me, as she did on her journey, the natural way. Because fighting for my body is the most natural thing. When all else fails, time to call upon the big dude, Kāne, considered the highest of the 4 major deities, he gives life through the sun, sky and dawn.



(I'm about 95% sure I'm buying that gym membership because waiting on the insurance company is just torture! I will also be buying a goal outfit for the end of this challenge. I know I'm really close to dropping a size, and I think I could do it if I work hard enough for the next two months. I've already picked it out and will order it ASAP!)

My STRENGTH goals for the next two months will be generally focused on CORE - CORE - CORE! AND ARMS.

My mantra/slogan for the TIKI Challenge will be SHAKE IT, BAKE IT, MAKE IT, AND, WHEN IT DOUBT, FAKE IT!



I need my AB! teammates (and SparkFriends) to stop by my page and tell me THAT THEY ARE WATCHING TO SEE IF I DO WHAT I SAY I'M GOING TO.

I, Esther (CALLIKIA), promise to listen to my body and not push her beyond what is sane or healthy in the boiling hot months to come, and I promise to treat her with respect and dignity and love, because my body hasn't failed me yet.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEAM-SARAH 7/7/2010 10:39PM

    You inspire me once again! I know you'll be rocking that new outfit in a couple months, can't wait!

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YOOVIE 7/7/2010 3:22PM


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HARMONYBLUE 7/7/2010 2:06PM

    Your after outfit will be loose on you before you know it!

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SUGIRL06 7/7/2010 2:06PM

    I am subscribed to your blog so I'll be watching you! LoL You can do this!

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RAVENSONG37 7/7/2010 1:41PM

    Giddy-up! Aloha and all that! You got this woman!!

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-JENSSPARK- 7/7/2010 1:34PM

    You are SO going to do this! Go out and buy that outfit...I can't wait to see those after pics!!!

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