Sunday, June 27, 2010
Starting Weight: 466.6
SP SW: 416.2
Last Week: 386.0
Goal This Week: 385
Weight Lost This Week: 3 pounds
Total Weight Lost with SP: 33.2
Total Weight Lost overall: 83.6
It's officially June 27th and I'm 26 for 27 on my workouts. Last weekend was crazy so I spent Sunday doing simply an easy walk. (Which I'm really proud I did at all because I was *so* tired!) Monday I went swimming in the bacteria-filled lake. This new situation at the park nearby is going to kill my swimming/water aerobics on the weekends. Will have to find somewhere else to go. Then on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I did Zumba. I'm so proud that I did 3 days in a row (and it's probably why I was so tired yesterday). I walked during most of my lunches this week, even the day it was too hot I went to the grocery store and walked around the whole time looking for new food. Yesterday didn't go so great (see my blog from yesterday) so instead of official workouts, I pushed myself to just stand as much as possible...to help out at the bonfire wherever I could. I cleaned a little bit as well. So I don't have official workout time, but I kept active.
I've eaten pretty well all week. I haven't logged everything, but I've been a good girl. *pats herself on her head* There were plenty of awful tempting things at the bonfire/BBQ last night, but instead I ate some chicken, some vegetarian baked beans, two bites of potato salad, and some of my reduced-fat cheesy potatoes. I did have a beer and a half, but something in the beer was making my tummy hurt, so I kept to tea most of the night, which my friend made with splenda and decaf tea.
What I learned this week.
I feel amazing this week for several reasons. I mean, there is the whole New York thing, but really because I feel like I've set a spark in my friend. She thinks about what she's eating now. She's even talking about going to Zumba with me on Wednesday, her and her husband. This is not the type of person who I ever thought would want to workout, but she's thinking about it.
Plus - Yesterday I went shopping at Fashion Bug. I fit into a size 28 blazer...actually I fit into a size 26 blazer, but I wasn't quite comfortable with the fit...a little TOO tight. I bought one size 28 blazer from the clearance section for 18 bucks, but I don't think it's quite right for NYC. I'm going to order a blazer online for the interview. I did buy a shirt. It's black and white patterned and sleeveless, but still conservative. I think it will be cool until I put the blazer on before I walk in the building. Still in size 30 pants, which drives me crazy. While most of you are working on getting into regular sizes so you can shop at any store, I'm working on getting to the sizes I can buy at the big-girl stores. But the top half is getting smaller. The size 22/24 tank I got a couple weeks ago? I wore it last night...it's too big. I have to get a smaller one (and then my friend wants this one! *lol* She called dibs last night.) Hoping the bottom half catches up soon...my tight shorts are getting a little loose...so maybe soon. I did buy smaller bras yesterday...the others were hurting because they were so loose.
That being said - a dude checked me out last night at the bonfire. I noticed. *lol* Hubs noticed as well! *lmao*
From the bonfire last night.
Weight loss goal for next week: 381
I was going to start 30-Day Shred in July, but I don't think my body is ready for that. Going to get another DVD instead...maybe one of the Biggest Loser ones. I could logically be at 366 before the end of August...which is that first century mark from my highest weight. Might get a tatt of a C when I get there....I could end up with 3 Cs after I hit my final weight goal...remind me of what I've done.
So in July I will work on training like crazy for the Charleston Distance Run in September. I'd love to be able to walk the 10K on September 4th. I missed out on a lot of my training this week, so I need to get right back on the horse this week. No excuses.
Friday, June 25, 2010
I've spent the day waffling between nervous anxiety and the attempt to shut down the fear in me over this upcoming trip. Something in me always rushes to the conclusion that something, or even everything, is going to go wrong and I'm going to be sorry that I even attempted something so bold. In an effort to attempt to settle myself, I run to definitions (yet again).
1. a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
2. a specific instance of or propensity for such a feeling.
3. concern or anxiety; solicitude.
4. reverential awe, esp. toward god.
5. that which causes a feeling of being afraid; that of which a person is afraid.
When faced with anything "out of the norm" we face some level of fear. We are "distressed" because we feel that the situation may bring about some "impending danger" or "pain." I felt fear when I went to Zumba for the first time. I was afraid I would injure myself, or even embarrass myself. Changing our entire lifestyle to one of healthy living? That's pretty scary too! What if we fail? What if it causes us pain (hello, 5.5 hours hiking!) or discomfort? What if we get to where we want to be and we realize we're not "done"...not really? So, yes...there is fear involved.
And I remember that my drama teacher once spoke to us about fear. Her specific example was in regards to stage fright, but it also applies here. Fear is natural. It's our body reaction to something that is going to require more of us than we've been giving so far. It may even signal us to the impending pain. When we stand on the roof of a tall building, fear is what keeps us a safe distance from the ledge. (most of us anyhow) It's our survival instinct. It's our body's natural way of saying, "BE CAREFUL!"
Who was it that said, "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." (I know it was in Princess Diaries, but surely it has a prior source?)
1. the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.
3. have the courage of one's convictions, to act in accordance with one's beliefs, esp. in spite of criticism.
(I deleted 2 because even dictionary.com says it's obsolete.) Courage, then, is a mind over body action. It's a way to talk ourselves into doing something difficult or challenging, even knowing that it could cause us fear. Because maybe it won't. Maybe our fear is unfounded. Or maybe the benefits far outweigh the possibility of what COULD go wrong. "Courage of one's convictions" is a good way to put it.
Storytime! When I was a kid I used to lie. All the time I would lie, to everyone. Someone would talk about this wonderful vacation they had in Myrtle Beach over the summer and I'd chime in with, "Oh, I've been there!" No. I hadn't been there. I didn't go there until I was married, had two kids, and was well in my 20's. I lied because I wanted to belong. I didn't want them to focus on what I didn't have, or what my family or even what I, personally, couldn't do - whether financially, or physically. It got to the point where I didn't even realize I was lying. I became so good at it that I nearly believed myself when I told a big whopper of a lie.
And then I had children and I realized that I couldn't really lie to them. I wanted to be honest and upfront and be the parent who said, "Yes. I smoked the wacky tobaccie" when they asked. (Thankfully for me, I never have - so I can say no and mean it!) I wanted honesty in my life...and I wanted to be honest with myself. So I started telling myself the truth, even if it hurt. I'd let out a lie out of habit, and then I'd ammend it. "No, wait. What am I saying? I've never been to Mexico." And I'm sure I looked like a darn fool, but I did it because I wanted to stick to the truth. I wanted to have the courage of my convictions. I wanted to be able to say something and have people believe me, because it was true. (Of course, there are little white lies to save another's feelings or a "leaving out" of parts of the truth now and again, I think that's healthy.)
So, yes. I am afraid. I am afraid I won't "look the part" because of my weight. I'm afraid I'll have a blah day and blow it. I'm afraid I'll miss my flight or things will run late and I'll have to pay a bunch of money to get home. But I realize now that there is some fear that I can overcome with courage. - I hold my head high and fake confidence until I start to feel it. I tell them even while telling myself that I'm worth their time and effort. And if I overcome that fear with my courage of convictions, then I'll be all the better for it. ...As for the other stuff? I can't control that. It's out of my hands. What comes will come and I will cross that bridge when I get to it.
The same can be said of our new healthy lifestyle changes. There are fears that we can solve by sheer force of will - mind over matter, baby! And then there are things we cannot. (No one can change their body shape. A big butt girl will almost always end up a big butt skinny girl, to some degree.) Hard work and courage can only conquer so much. So the next time you feel afraid to try something new, or put yourself out there, or just stick to your workout schedule because you have a case of the IDUNWANNAs or "I'm sick/tired/hurt from yesterday and it might cause me more pain"...you may have to realize that it's your fear talking. Your fear of change. And the only way past it is to put your mind to it, put one foot firmly in front of the other, and keep on moving.
I'll leave you with 2 more Courage quotes:
Every man has his own courage, and is betrayed because he seeks in himself the courage of other persons. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Earn points for the following:
* Workout/Fitness Minutes: +5
* Calorie Counts: +3
* Strength Train: +12 (2 sets of 6 different)
* Beauty Reminder: +2
* Brain Challenge -
* Read - +3 (96-146)
* Stretch and Breathe - DOH! Forgot. *sigh*
EDIT: 2 bonus points for trying a new exercise, food, or soul-enriching activity, as long as you report on it! (Share the love, baby!)
Today I tried ST workouts with the resistance bands I bought weeks ago! *lol* I was afraid of them before...now, not so much. You get so much out of this because you're working against yourself! Plus, I got a set of three bands at Dick's Sporting Goods for under 20 bucks.
We also tried the Tator Tot Turkey Casserole in the SP recipes. All loved. Not the BEST recipe for my goals, but it was yummy and easy and quick. (Logan, my 10-year-old made it!)
Total: 31 points
Thursday, June 24, 2010
What I know is that I'm not going to die. Not yet. At least, not from diabetes or high cholesterol.
What I know is that I am borderline everything. I'm pre-diabetic and while my bad cholesterol level is fine, there are too many cholestrol particles in my blood.
What I know is that, had I not joined SparkPeople two months ago, this news could be a lot worse.
What I know is that my doctor gave me kudos, asked if there was ANYTHING she could do to help me, and told me to keep doing what I'm doing and we'll check again in 6 months. (I told her about SP, she told me about an 800-lb patient who is now a 400-lb patient. I *LOVE* my tiny, pocket-sized doctor!)
What I know is that my flight is booked for NYC. I will stand proud and strong and will blow them away...and if they still pass, I will learn something from the experience and feel better about the next interview.
What I know is that I have confirmed my interview time and was told to simply bring myself.
What I know is that I will be bringing a copy of my resume, some examples of my work and my writing, and a nice suit.
What I know is I'm having a he11 of a time trying to find a suit to fit my body. I wear a bigger size in pants than I do in shirts/jackets...so I need to mix and match. I want something professional and that looks really good on me.
What I know is that I need to at least get my hair thinned, if not also trimmed. I may get a manicure early that week...we'll see.
What I know is that I got a bajillion compliments, "how are you doing it?"s and other great comments from people at work. They quizzed me and then someone else called me over to quiz me. "You can definately tell you've lost weight!" they said. I told them 30 pounds in 2 months and jaws dropped. *big grin*
What I know is that it was too humid to walk at lunch today. I did a tiny bit of grocery shopping (cheese, mushrooms I needed for breakfast omelets, and a salad for lunch, and some peaches because they looked great...and...ice cream! *lol* No worries, it's a single serving cup of Skinny Cow.)
What I know is that I have Zumba scheduled for tonight at 6:30pm.
What I know is that on the way to work today they played "Oh My God" and I could see the Zumba routine to it in my head...and couldn't help shaking my booty/hips right there in my seat! *lol*
What I know is that I nearly got a friend to agree to come to Zumba with me...but she told me to rain check it since it's her TOM and she's not feeling so hot right now.
What I know is that I love and thank you all for your support, encouragement and enlightenment. You've taught me to be a better me. You've picked me up when I've been down. You've high-fived when I have good news. You are all amazing! SP is such a blessing...and so are every last one of the Sparkers here! Hugs all around!
FYI - Today is a good day.
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