Wednesday, November 13, 2013
* "Finish what you started!"
* You are not a wimp...or a quitter.
* Because jeans feel better when they hug you, not squeeze the every loving life out of you.
* Because hitting a heavy bag is fun.
* To boost your maneuverability during photo shoots and get the best shots ever.
* To be known as a superhero mom again.
* Because grocery stores invented Thanksgiving and Christmas to guilt you into indulging so that by New Year's Day they could guilt you into losing the fat behind you accrued over the holidays.
* Because today is not "two weeks before Thanksgiving" but November 13th. (see above reason)
* To regain your wardrobe, which was pretty and bright and sunshiny and not BLACK, GREY and BORING.
* Because we all miss your cheekbones.
* Because you were THIS close to having everything you ever wanted...until you get that and pick a new goal.
* Why friggin' not?
* The PF will never go away by sitting on your rump eating chocolate and talking about how much it hurts.
* Because the PF may NEVER go away. Time to learn how to deal.
* You aren't getting any younger.
* Building a business is easier when you feel confident in yourself, the image you are presenting and your work.
* Because photo shoots require tromping around for hours on end in order to find the best secluded spot for the most spot on "it's just us here in this big, beautiful world" type picture.
* Because my work suffers when I don't want to get out bed in the morning because I don't want to face what I look like in the mirror.
* Because I'm still quite pretty, I'm just hiding it...again.
* Because that last 5k was NOT my last 5k.
* Driving and traveling would be much easier, cheaper and more focused.
* Life is more fulfilling when you can actually enjoy it.
* Because being a foodie is about the quality of food, not the quantity. You can have it both ways, if you're smart.
* Two words: beach vacation.
* You did it before, you can do it again.
* Because you'd given anything to have the body you hated 90 pounds ago back.
* Because you want people to look at your face, not your stomach.
* Buying clothes is more fun in a smaller size.
* It's not rocket science.
* You never know how far you could go until you try.
* Because even though those stupid cliche messages annoy the crap out of you, you never know when you'll find a pearl of wisdom in the white noise.
* It's easier to feel kick@$$ when you know you can actually kick @$$.
* If you can't, it's better to know you seriously tried.
* To keep up with your heavily active teenagers. You rubbed off on them, it's time to return the favor.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
So, let's just pretend I wasn't here before. Let's not talk about the "f" word I'm feeling so much like and let's move on to goals and all that fancy nonsense. (The truth is, I can't afford to wait around until I have a positive attitude about this whole thing again. I have to go back to my "I don't care if you hate it, you're going to do it anyhow" mentality.)
Yesterday I weighed in at work at 395. Throughout our biggest loser contest I have managed to maintain or gain every single week. It's almost like I feel it's my job to gain weight again. So, yeah, it's time to get this beast under control again.
Goals for November:
Log every calorie every day. No excuses
Try to stay around 2200 calories. Not too far under OR over.
Drink 64 oz of water every day. Seriously, this is losing weight for dummies!
Workout for at least 10 minutes every day.
That's it. It's not rocket science. This time I just have to remember that even if you're on a plateau, you can still move forward, down the cliffside until you find the bridge. (I'm still so annoyed at myself.)
Hoping these simple steps will net me about a 5 pound loss this month. Shouldn't be too hard as long as I don't forget my brain on Thanksgiving.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
I haven't disappeared from the world or from my goals. I actually finished my Whole30. It was difficult, but it really taught me to value the taste of GOOD food (good tasting AND good for me). Of course around the 27th of the month I got sick and it hasn't gone away yet. Last Tuesday they were telling me it was probably Mono. It hasn't been confirmed, but I was so tired, wasn't eating, and it felt like there was a vice around my ribcage constricting my breathing. It's getting better, but I can still feel it lingering and everyone around me keeps telling me to go slow and try not to overdo it. In my head I know that. I know I could end up in the hospital with pneumonia if I don't take it easy, but my body and I feel like we aren't communicating right now and it is beyond frustrating. Just last month we were in perfect sync, and now this illness has knocked me back to the 466 peg (I'm still hovering around 385, but my body feels like it did way back when when I was 100 pounds heavier.)
So ...I'm not so great at taking it slow.
(If you know me, you know this already.)
Before I move on to my current plan/goals, let me debrief those who were wondering about my Whole30 experience.
I really hit a stride after a while. At the beginning of the week I would make a whole chicken in the oven. I would strip everything off the chicken, save the meat and make chicken salad for lunches, and then put all of the bones and skin and fat in a pot and make my own homemade bone broth. I used the broth later in the week to make a soup out of whatever veggies I could find to throw in, whatever spices smelled good at the time, and some sort of animal protein - beef, pork, chicken, doesn't matter. The rest of the week we'd stick to a lot of staples. We became obsessed with Chocolate Chili. It's actually one of the first meals I made AFTER Whole30...it's just THAT good. I've tweaked the recipe to our tastes, but it is going to become a regular. We had a lot of hamburgers on lettuce buns, plenty of pork chops, and some random steak and other items whenever the mood struck. Breakfast was almost always either a frittata or simply an egg, sausage and veggie scramble. By Day 30 it got pretty darn easy to work a week's meal plan around the rules.
Of course then I got sick and lost my appetite completely. And then I only wanted crap junk food (ironically, nuggets from McDonald's of all things...). And now I just don't care what I eat as long as I'm still moving and breathing and getting to work.
Work is crazy busy, which makes right now one of the worst times ever to get sick, so...yeah, juggling that and the stress has been difficult. I just need a simple plan I can stick to without thinking too much about it. I'm not quite sure what that looks like yet, but I do know some of the basics I'm bringing back next week.
Water. A strict 8 glasses a day without excuse. I bought myself 2 32oz water bottles from one of the football moms that sells Tupperware. I plan on carrying my bottle around and making sure I empty it into my stomach at LEAST twice a day!
2200. I hate to do it to myself, but I need to just go back to counting calories. It's easy and I don't have to think too hard about it. For the first few weeks I'm going to try to stay within 2200-2400. My goal is to stick around 2200 until I get under 300 or unless that doesn't feel right. I think part of the problem in the past was cutting too much too fast and stalling out. I would go straight to a 1600 diet, and I can do that without too much trouble, but my body freaks out after a while and rebels and goes on strike. If I am not losing any weight on a 2200 calorie diet and I'm sticking to it like I should, then I will reevaluate.
Weigh-ins. Unfortunately this will be coming back as well. I'm not putting as much stock in this as I used to, though. After so many injuries and illnesses, I know the difference between the shape I am in now and the shape I was in when I was fighting myself for numbers on the scale. I wish I would have let go of the battle and just let myself feel good in my own skin. Instead I pressed too hard and landed myself right here. I signed up for my work's Biggest Loser competition...and if there is a cash prize involved, I fully intend to win it. We need the money for Christmas presents! *lol*
WORK OUT! These are coming back too. I had to scale back more than I ever thought. When I got injured I backed off, and then more when it started hurting again, until I couldn't even do laps at the pool or lift anymore because EVERYTHING hurt my foot. Problem is, the foot still hurts. Every time I start a walking routine I get sidelined again, and my self-confidence doesn't help me because I HATE walking with a limp and right now I kinda have to. So I bought the Walk Away the Pounds DVD. I used this workout when I was basically immobile about 100 pounds ago, so I know I can do it now. Plus, it's all done indoors where I don't feel my self-esteem plummet just because my knee needs a little TLC and I have to baby it through the mile.
Of course, all of this will take place AFTER my 5k this weekend.
I know what you were thinking -- why doesn't she start now? I have started more seriously considering my food choices and calculating my calorie intake. It will give me a fresh perspective. However, because of this illness, whatever it is, I'm doing my best to "take it easy". I was going to start working out this week, but Hubs suggested just resting for the 5k this weekend, which I refuse to back out of. I intend to walk it, of course, but I'm so terrified I'm going to have some sort of breathing malfunction and will have to stop without finishing the darn thing. I have friends and family walking with me, and they know about my current illness, so they've promised to help me through the best they can and keep an eye on me. Truth is, I paid $60+ for this race and I had intended to run it in the beginning. It was my triumphant return to the world of non-competitive running, I thought, but no matter how small of steps I tried to take in training for it, I got derailed again and again and again. Now I'm to the point where I have to at least try, and if I fail I'll have a starting point to measure my future successes against.
So that's where I'm at right now. My body is inflammed from head to toe and I should be home right now resting, but I have work to do and it isn't going to wait for me to feel better. I have another 5+ hour drive tomorrow, an overnight stay in a hotel, and another 5+ hours back on Friday...which isn't going to help my swollen ankles. I need to pound water like it's my JOB right now! And then Saturday we see what I'm really worth...I hope it's a finisher's medal (actually, I don't know if they're even handing those out...this is one of those color runs, which is why I wanted to do it in the first place - the charity host is the Special Olympics so I'm really hoping for some clarity in support and encouragement from the race organizers and workers and not impatience for me to hurry up and finish when I'll be lucky to even make it a mile!). At least it's a flat, easy course!
Other future plans:
Once I get the workout habit back, I need to incorporate some ST.
I would love to get a heavy bag for my basement. Stress relief and a great workout I will actually do.
I also want a rowing machine, which I hope will help the alignment issues with my knees and hips and help to strengthen those joints.
And one day I'll run again, or walk, or swim, or do something I can be proud of and move forward in.
Okay, off to drink some water! I want to try to check in here more, but we will see what I have time for. Did I mention I also completed my application for Grad School? It's an online MBA program, but still...I'm exhausted!
Monday, July 29, 2013
Measurements (only to be recorded 8/1 and 9/1, unless known change on some)
Weight (only to be recorded 8/1 and then 9/1):
BMI (only to be recorded 8/1 and then 9/1):
Body Fat % (only to be recorded 8/1 and then 9/1):
Measurements (only to be recorded 8/1 and then 9/1):
-- Thighs (R/L)
-- Upper Arm (R/L)
-- Wrist (R/L)
-- Calves (R/L)
-- Ankle (R/L)
Shirt Size (only to be recorded 8/1 and 9/1, unless a change):
Pant Size (only to be recorded 8/1 and 9/1, unless a change):
Dress Size (only to be recorded 8/1 and 9/1, unless a change):
Bra Size (only to be recorded 8/1 and 9/1, unless a change):
Mood, Behavior and Daily Wellness
Mood Upon Waking:
Time of Getting Up:
Any snooze pushes?
How did you sleep?
Any Slumps/Tiredness/Dizziness throughout the day?:
Pain Level of PF (1-10, 1 being fine and 10 being cannot put weight on it):
Any Stomach Pain or Discomfort? When? How long did it last?
Any noticeable skin changes?
Energy Level throughout the day:
Mood Upon Retiring:
Time retired to bed:
Meals. Include link to recipe and/or ingredient list.
After-Dinner Snack or Dessert (or before-dinner if football night):
Early Morning Activity Type and Duration:
Early Morning Stretches Type and Duration:
Midday Activity Type and Duration:
Evening Activity Type and Duration:
# of Pushups:
# of Crunches:
# of Squats:
The Ideal Day would look as follows -
4:30 am - Wake up, dress for workout
5:00 am - Walk or other cardio workout
5:45 am - Stretches/Yoga
6:00 am - Shower and Dress for Work
6:30 am - Breakfast, Pack Lunch if not done night before
7:00 am - Leave for Work
8:00 am - 4:00 pm - Work, with a 30 minute activity break around lunchtime
4:00 pm - Leave for Home
5:00 pm - Arrive Home, prep small snack or mini meal for Football Practice
5:30 pm - Football practice, Mom's 2nd workout if not volunteering (walk or strength exercises)
7:30 pm - Go home and prepare family Whole30 Approved meal, pack tomorrow's lunch
8:00 pm - Dinner
9:00 pm - Bed
* Regular Football Practices - I generally like to talk and hang out during football practice. I need to focus at least 15 minutes of time to a quick activity or mini-workout or at least get in a few strength moves and stretches. I could invite one of the other ladies for a short walk around the basketball court next to the practice field in order to still socialize while getting my activity in.
* Early Morning Risers - I will need to get up at 4:30 am in order to get everything in that I would like to do before work and I am not exactly a morning person. I will set out my clothes before bed, try to get to bed as early as possible, especially in the beginning, be sure to have the next morning's workout planned before I go to bed the night before, and will do my best to get in as many early morning workouts as possible. BUT - I will not kill myself or think all is lost if for some reason I cannot get my workout in that morning. When short on time, I will do some yoga and meditation to prepare myself for the day.
* Weekends - I always seem to do better during the week when there is structure. I will use my weekends as opportunities to do more fun activities with the boys. I will include things like long walks around the town with my camera to indulge in my photography passion and build my portfolio, hikes through the wilderness to calm my inner self, and swimming at the lake. I will also allow myself to use heavy cleaning and heavy yardwork as an exercise routine on the weekends, as I will push myself to do enough to bring forth a good sweat and raise my heartrate.
* Football games - Grid-O-Rama and Ethan's first game will fall in August. I will be tempted to eat the crap food from the concession stand due to both environment and peer pressure. I will learn to pack healthy snack options and not fault myself for eating an extra snack if it is both healthy and Whole30 approved, if needed to mitigate this risk.
* Date Night - I have at least one date night planned for myself and my husband on August 9th. We may or may not attend, but if we do decide to go to Live on the Levee, I will make plans enough in advance to know what we can eat and where. Going out is not an excuse to cheat and I do not want to finish this 30 days disappointed.
* Special Family Visit - We will have family in from out of town for their annual summer visit. I will be tempted to join them for outings out to dinner and parties with things like beer and pizza. I will do my best to remind myself that their visit IS special, but that is no reason to think it should involve indulgent foods. I will make the necessary plans to stay on task and be prepared when situations arise that test my courage and determination.
If all else fails, read the directions.
- Meat - grass-fed and nitrate free
- Vegetables - organic and fresh, where possible
- Clarified butter/ghee
- Green beans, sugar snap peas, snow peas
- Vinegars w/o added sugar
- Coconut milk
- Applesauce w/o added sugar
- Tomato sauce w/o added sugar
- Chicken broth w/o added sugar
- Canned olives
- Healthy fats
VEG - MEAT - HEALTHY FATS
- Sugar -real or artificial
- Alcohol or tobacco
- Grains (including corn)
- Carrageenan, MSG, sulfites
- White potatoes
- Paleo-ifying desserts or junk food
- Weighing or measuring
Friday, July 26, 2013
Well, it would finally seem that I'm coming around, as it were. I'm sure the 405 I saw on the scale last night was a bit of motivation for me. Granted it was late and I was swollen as all get out from the stress and insanity that has been this week, but still...it means it's time for me to get moving again. Now it's all about setting up a plan I can work with and stick to and that motivates me.
I have a lot of opportunities and options...and a lot of pros and cons for each thing.
I think I certainly need to incorporate Yoga and meditation into my daily routine. I've lost the bulk of my flexibility with this PF, and I think once it starts to return the PF will actually lessen. I need to find away to get a few quiet moments in the morning to stretch and meditate and prepare myself for the day.
2. Whole 30
I hate to say it, because I remember how amazingly difficult weeks 2 and 3 are, but I really need to do this again for several reasons. First, I need to slay this sugar demon right now. I need to get the monkey off my back and the best way to do that is cold turkey through Whole 30. Second, I need to finish the 30 days to prove to myself I can. I think this would be an amazing jumpstart for me and would really challenge me to let go of what I think I failed in the past and move forward with renewed hope and confidence in myself and my abilities.
3. 30 Day Shred
I would love to have a program like this that could help build my strength, but I worry that I'm trying to do too much too soon. I'll probably leave this for another challenge in a month or so.
Okay, so I have a 5k that I WILL be doing in about 9 1/2 weeks. It's really time for me to start getting on the ball with training, especially considering the mile walk I did with the kids the other day nearly killed me (of course I think the humidity was at like 80%...it was disgusting out!). I've mapped some walking routes in town that range from a mile to 2.5 miles. Once I get myself into the 2-mile groove I'm going to map out the perfect 5k route and get myself back in racing shape.
Let's face it...I feel best, body and soul, when I'm eating a Paleo diet. I have to find some way to incorporate this into my daily life in a regular way with little to no deviations. I really think this will help maintain my focus.
Okay, so this is because I miss my strength. I found a 30-day plank challenge the other day that I'm thinking of adding to the list. In fact, I might get the boys in on this as well and make it a family challenge.
No matter what I decide to do, I think I'm mentally more ready than I have been in probably close to a year. My plan will likely include walking, yoga, and a round of Whole30 to get things started, but I'm not sure on anything else. I plan to take measurements and pictures on day one and then on day 30, but ignore the damn scale (that's the Whole30 way). I can deal with any disappointment I might feel on September 1. I honestly think if I have a plan ready for next month it won't be too awful if I don't lose as much as I think I should or feel like I have by August 30.
I'll be back later with an official plan.
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