CALLIKIA   23,828
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Ready for a Restart?

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

My foot isn't healed.
I don't think it ever will be.

My weight likes to fluctuate the same 30 pounds.
It's better than gaining 100.

So what do I do now?

Best thing I can think to do is start over. Again.

I wish I could stop feeling like a failure, but it's better than giving up completely.

Will be weighing in on Monday (going away this weekend).
Will begin measuring everything once again.

The first 2 weeks are just logging what I'm doing. Then reassess and start cutting back.
And start adding in some exercise, even if it's just yoga for now.
I miss ST.
I miss feeling strong.
I already have plans to join the gym again once my paychecks kick in so I can get my muscles back.
It's the least I can do.
I don't like being squishy.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROMNEY3 2/13/2013 11:24AM

    So sorry you foot is not better. No great words of wisdom here either. Just know you have a support system here and and vent anytime. Take care do what of can, and enjoy your weekend away!

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KNOWMOREBBK 2/13/2013 10:09AM

    You sound INCREDIBLY frustrated.... beyond frustrated. It's good to regroup. Don't focus on what you can't do, but what you can do. What positive things are you doing... not just physically, but mentally. Give yourself a mental pep talk everyday. Every time the negative thoughts come at you, give yourself that mental pep talk. Instead of saying, "I'm fat" say "I'm strong and I'm beautiful." Because you are strong and you are beautiful and you are smart. Regroup. You can do this.

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TRENTDREAMER 2/13/2013 7:55AM

    "really I'm just pissed and sad and feeling really depressed. I'm having to accept the fact that I may now have to live the rest of my life as a disabled person. "
* emoticon emoticon

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SPUNKYDUCKY 2/13/2013 1:24AM

    My PF lasted 18 months at it's worst and still bothers me from time to time. It is not unusual...but it doesn't mean it will be there forever. And restarts can be great. I have made nearly 40 lbs of progress since October 9th (essentially got rid of my backslide and feel BETTER about myself then I did last time I was this weight). You can do it Esther. You have the support and you know how...

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ERIN1128 2/12/2013 11:58AM

    Hang in there sweetie! I'm so sorry you're feeling down, but we're all here for you.

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    Keep up the fight girl! I know it sucks, I have no words of wisdom you don't already know. I trust you're doing all you can with docs and switching if you feel they're failing you. Focus on the exercise you CAN do and not what you can't. That's the only thing helping me through my injury. Doesn't make it any mentally easier.

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CALLIKIA 2/12/2013 8:46AM

    I wish I could say that I'm happy about any of this...but really I'm just pissed and sad and feeling really depressed. I'm having to accept the fact that I may now have to live the rest of my life as a disabled person. And I don't know whether or not this would have happened if I hadn't tried so hard and pushed myself so hard to live healthy and exercise. I went from dreams of a half marathon to wishing I could just walk down my hall in the morning without wanting to just give up and crawl. I wish I wasn't sad. I wish I could find a way to push past it...but lately I'm just doing it begrudgingly. Because I'm fat. And I don't want to be fat. And I'll probably always be fat, but if I try then I can say it's not my fault that I'm fat.

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SUGIRL06 2/12/2013 8:37AM

    I'm sorry for all the things you miss doing but I am glad you are still fighting! I have been considering measuring and counting calories again. Despite eating Paleo almost all of the time now, I don't see any improvements in my body. I went up in jeans sizes. Boo! But then, I'm supposed to fuel when I'm lifting (which I'm doing now) so what to do? Good luck with your new plan! And you can do wonders with yoga - it will make you strong, it can burn calories, and it will hopefully give your foot a break!!

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CDCSMITH2013 2/12/2013 8:36AM

    It sounds like a good plan. Start in slow, get back as much as you can. Every step you make in a positive direction, counts as a win.

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So Here's the Thing...

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

...I have wanted to exercise...but I'm scared.

A lot has been happening in my world lately. First of all, I'm on day 22 of Whole30. Eight more days and I'm a free woman!! *lol* J/K. The discipline has been great and I'm loving whole foods a lot more. Plus, my energy and such is through the roof. Not today, though. Only working on about 5 hours a sleep today...and Mama needs more than 5 hours of sleep a night!

I've been working really hard on my YT channels. I have vlogged nearly every single day. (Basically, I forgot 2 nights ago and last night I didn't do it because I knew I wouldn't get through it without sobbing...which is the reason I didn't do it one other time earlier in the process.)

I got the call on January 16th and will be starting my new job on February 1st. I'm super, super excited about this. It's in my field, it's in my state, and it's in a higher tax bracket. All of this means that I won't have to move (which my kids are over the moon about as well) and I'll probably be in a new house very soon (I'm shooting for summer, but at least before next Christmas).

Hubs has an interview next week for a new job as well. I seriously have every finger and toe crossed on that one. He's interviewed with them 2 times before and hasn't landed a spot on the team. Maybe the 3rd time is the charm, as they say.

I've been super crazy busy at work as I try to finish things out. Plus we have some reports due this week so I even came in yesterday on the holiday to get some things done. It's been crazy, I tell you! I may just take a day off next week though to decompress before starting the new gig. No clue if that's actually going to happen...I will not leave my coworkers struggling if I can help it! I need to get as much done as I can before I leave.

My youngest son was informed that another spot was created for him from the school he attends for the All-State Children's Chorus. This will be his second year attending.

My oldest was informed that he has been placed in honor band. He will be performing at Marshall University on Friday and I couldn't be more proud of him! He absolutely loves band. He also loves making things with his hand and actually made me a bookshelf with his own two hands. It's beautiful and I absolutely love it. It's going to be featured in the new house for sure!! ;)

Finally, yesterday we got some of the saddest news in a very long time. My husband's grandfather passed away in his sleep. My mother-in-law found him yesterday morning. Needless to say she is more than torn up about it and I hate to see her so sad. We're all sad, though. I have been a part of my husband's family since I was about 13 years old, so his grandfather was my grandfather as well and my heart hurts to have lost such a brave, wise, and downright funny man. I told my husband last night that he is going to have to start telling me on a regular basis that I am the prettiest woman in the world...because his grandfather said this to me every single time I saw him. He would swear up and down, no matter what shape or size or manner of unkemptness, that I was prettier every single time he saw me. And it wasn't BS to him...I could tell by the way he doted on me. My absolute favorite moment of getting to know him was doing a paper on him for one of my college essays a few years ago. We talked about some of the crazy stunts he pulled as a kid, his time in the army...I just wish I had known him my entire life...or his entire life. He was a blessing to the world and I will miss him dearly.

So, the exercise thing, while on my mind, hasn't really mattered as of late. Things have been busy and crazy and happy and sad and up and down. I honestly feel more confident in my abilities, however, after getting through a birthday, landing a dream job, and now the death of a loved one without slipping into cheating myself and the Whole30 program. I have not been perfect. There have been a few misguided errors along the way, but I have been strong throughout, so I have confidence in myself moving forward.

...still... 8 days until I can have a few bites of dark chocolate...

Anyone know of any good plans for getting back into the exercise game slowly? Keep in mind I have no access to the gym right now and I even walking is frowned upon by my PT and podiatrist until the foot heals (and I'm honestly to the point where I'm not sure it ever really will).

Side note of strangeness: My feet finally shrank. Shrunk? Shrank? *sigh* They got smaller. I was a size 11 wide, now I wear a 10 - sometimes wide, sometimes medium. I still have to accommodate my ridiculously high arches (and, as the podiatrist puts it, "horrible bone structure" in my foot), but it has opened up my options for shoes at least. When I feel up to wearing something other than my tennis shoes with my inserts in them.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CYNDERROSE 1/23/2013 10:11PM

    I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather *hugs*

I've been reading "It Starts With Food" and plan on doing a Whole 30 of my own in the next few months.

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SASSAGAIN 1/22/2013 7:21PM

    I second and third the yoga and pilates...aslo can you do a barre workout from home? using a chair? they can be great for flexibility and strength. also, you know i'm going to say yeah to weights. Also, is your PT helpful on things like that? If walking is outlawed until the PF is healed up, he should have suggestions to help you get through it...

It's hard to loose someone who you have known for more than half your life. He was truly a big part of it. I love the way you talk about him, I can feel how much you and your family love him. That will not change. And his love for you, your husband and boys will also never change.

Woot on your new job! That is such good news!

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4EVERADONEGIRL 1/22/2013 4:45PM

    Wow you sure have been through a lot, E! So sorry for the loss of your grandfather (in-law or not - who cares?!?!) I know that losing my Grandfather was truly one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. My grandparents had been married for over 50 years when he passed and it wasn't long after that my grandma slipped into delirium followed by Alzheimer's. I really truly believe that it was because she couldn't handle the loss of her beloved. I can't even imagine how difficult it must be...

So much love to you and your family as you deal with this difficult loss.

And on the other front - I'm so proud of you!!

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PAMAZON 1/22/2013 4:36PM

    Well goodness, your blog was like a roller coaster ride! So excited to hear about the new job, new house prospects, and your kid's musical successes. I'm also SO proud of you for hanging with the Whole30 for 22 days. You'll finish it up easily and enjoy your dark chocolate! It's right around the cornerl

So sorry to hear about your grandfather-in-law. Let me tell you that no amount of time or years will diminish his impact on you, or the impact of his love and adoration for you. You'll think about him fondly a lot, and remember all the sweet words he said. I'm glad your husband had him as a role model.

As for exercise, I would probably focus on ST first. Some basic muscle activation stuff, glute raises (bridges), core, squats. Just to get those muscles working and stronger so that you can get your cardio going without getting injured.

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ARUNNINGKAT 1/22/2013 2:32PM

    emoticon So sorry for your loss! What wonderful memories you have - thanks for sharing. And congrats on the new job! I am excited for you!

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ERIN1128 1/22/2013 2:28PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. But YAY on the new job and everything else - sounds like your luck is finally turning. Well deserved!!!

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    There are some sitting videos available (youtube, sparks, etc) so that you have no impact on your feet. Videos are free at the library too. Upper body and core *stuff* can get your heart rate up - try arm circles, planks and pushups (on your knees so no strain on your foot). Yoga poses, pilates - all modified for your foot of course. Air bicycling (on your backside, legs up, pretend to pedal a bike - ahhh old school lol).

All in all, it sounds like you are doing well considering the road blocks being put in your path!

Keep up the great work!


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MAGPIE17 1/22/2013 12:36PM

    Hugs, Es. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I think yoga and pilates are an excellent place to start. You tried boxing at some point, didn't you? What about shadow boxing? Moving your arms quickly enough for the punches should get your heartrate up!

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CALLIKIA 1/22/2013 12:27PM

    Thanks, you guys. Again, no pool. Not an option right now. I too have been thinking to do planks, pushups, crunches, etc. just to get myself going. Yoga would be a great tool as well because the PF has caused me to lose a considerable amount of my leg flexibility...and this is what I need to heal the sucker. And call the chiro and set up another appointment.

Y'all are great. It's like I KNOW these things myself, but sometimes I'm just to scatter-brained to put them all together. February plan will include adding in regular Yoga and ST exercises. My FIL even has a weight bench I can use once or twice a week to build my upper body strengths or even do deadlifts (though not too heavy).

Having a "gym" in my own house is seriously tops on my list for my next residence.

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HEALTH-E-CLARE 1/22/2013 11:50AM

    Glad to hear whole30 is going so well, and I'm so proud that you didn't use the death of your grandfather to derail you.

What about getting back into pilates and yoga. I remember a while ago when you were just killing the yoga poses and flexibilty.

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NOTABOUTHEFACE 1/22/2013 11:36AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss, it is horrible when you lose someone so supportive and wonderful as life seems to have less and less people who make you feel awesome about yourself these days. (Or maybe this is just my experience) But on the upside it sounds like everything else is really coming together!

Speaking of my experience, I'm on week 6 of "no impact" exercise and while I'm testing the boundaries of my foot, the stuff I did early on was all abs, free weights/upper body stuff. Push ups on the knees, all that stuff. I'm not going to tell you swimming because I don't know about you but I'm not paying just so I can get on my feet, drive to the Y or wherever, undress with strangers, suit up and feel weird about my body in front of strangers (I know you don't have this issue, you're a swimmer), undress, hobble out, drive home and dread the next session. It's just too much to even process so I used 5 lb weights and "swam" on the floor. Kicked mah feet, did a weighted stroke and got the heart rate up.

Have you gone to a chiro? Mine is doing wonders for my foot issue, laser and vibration therapy and can likely help with "horrible bone structure." If I wouldn't get sued, I'd go in and punch my podiatrist in the throat for setting me back 3 weeks. It's $40 per appt and I go once a week. He said this should be a short term thing and no chiro should ever have a patient for life. Might want to look into it.

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ABEAUTIFULMESS1 1/22/2013 11:24AM

    I'm sorry about your loss!! I'm glad that you have such fond memories of him though- I know that it doesn't make it hurt less or take the loss away, but having those fun memories are a huge help when grieving! As for slowing getting back into working out- I'm doing the same thing- I would start with 1 or 2 days a week, do that for a week or two, then add another day...stick with it for 2 weeks, add another day, etc etc. Do you have a swimming pool available to you that you would be able to use? That might be a good way to get some cardio in without putting so much stress on your foot. You're doing great!!! Keep up the good work! emoticon

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CALLIKIA 1/22/2013 11:22AM

    No gym = no pool = no swimming. Maybe things will change when the job changes, or if Hubs gets a new job, but for now it's a no-go.

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MANLEYSANDY 1/22/2013 11:13AM

    Congrats on your new job and I am sorry for your loss!


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-POOKIE- 1/22/2013 10:46AM

    I think you have done amazing staying so focused!

Can you go back to swimming to avoid any impact on your heels?

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2 Weeks Into Whole30: Time for Exercise?

Monday, January 14, 2013

I haven't been shy about the fact that I've devoted the first 1/2 of Whole30 to attempting to heal my heel (okay, my PF...same diff). After several days of lowered, but still there irritation and pain I've come to realize that it's as good as it's going to get for now without help from me. So I'm going to help it out.

Step 1: Stretching
The doctor (physical therapist) has assigned me 4 different things to do two to three times a day.

1) The golf ball roll.
I always heard a tennis ball was best, but she's telling me I need the hard and small golf ball to really get the work done. I have one in my bag with me always now. The idea is to roll my foot on it three times a day for however long I can stand so that I can break down the nasty collagen and build back up the good stuff.

2) The calf stretch.
I have to put my injured foot behind me, straight, and my other knee bent and then lean into the wall. This should stretch the muscles that run up my foot/ankle/leg, especially my calf. The stiffness in my leg is a bit crazy considering I haven't worked on in so long.

3) The calf stretch, part deux.
Same as above, except with my bad knee bent as well. This stretches different leg muscles and is just as important.

4) The arch massage.
Three times a day I'm supposed to massage my arch for about 30 seconds at least. This does the same as number one. The bonus? I use lotion when I massage and so my feet are getting softer already! *lol*

Step 2: Flexibility Through Exercise

I need to start out my workout routine with exercise that help improve my flexibility and do not require me to bounce or jump on my foot/ankle. Now if I could get to the pool or a bike, I would totally do that, but I simply can't work that out right now. Instead I'll be trying the following:

- Yoga
I have at least 2 yoga DVDs and I'm not afraid of getting more. I will try to take the bounce out of Yoga Meltdown (by Jillian Michaels) as well and use that for an extra HR bump if possible. (But if she stresses the foot too much, she'll be kicked out of rotation.)

- Pilates
I have one pilates DVD. I hate Pilates because it seems to be more painful than Yoga to me. But I will give it another try because it MIGHT just work out the kinks...if I can get past the initial OUCH stage.

- UFC Ultimate Trainer
I got this for myself as a gift for Christmas (a Black Friday deal!), but I have yet to try it out. I believe you can build your own workouts, so I think if I put in a lot of strength training stuff I should be good. My PT actually encourages lunges (even though they hurt me) because it might help increase flexibility in my foot/ankle.

- Strength Training
I have been at this long enough that I should be able to set up a routine. And my FIL has a weight set in his garage that I've been told I'm welcome to use. I may take him up on that offer because for right now my PT doesn't even suggest walking. I need something to build my strength back up.

Here's the thing - Whole30 has done wonders to debloat me and shrink me, but I can tell I'm all mushy inside right now. Two months off of my heavy duty workouts makes for a squishy Esther. I may not be able to do much of a calorie burn right now in my workouts, but I can build more muscle, which will help increase my all-over calorie burn throughout the day. So that's the plan. I gave the foot it's time...and it healed up quite a bit on its own. But Whole30 is not a complete miracle for me. I have to take steps to help reap the benefits. So for the next 16 days, that will include some strength and flexibility and stretching.

For now, there is no set plan other than to do at least 15-20 minutes every weeknight and to get my stretches done 3 times a day, every single day, even if they aren't evenly spaced out (my OCD sometimes keeps me from my task, I'm realizing).

1/2 of January is almost up. How are you spending your time?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DCHICKEN7 4/2/2013 5:29PM

    I didn't lose any weight until the end of the Whole30. Then it fell off! I cheated and weighed myself which you shouldn't be doing. Also, the weight came off in weird places first like my back, neck and arms. It seemed to move from top down. My sister's body did the same thing. I now can pull my jeans off without unbuttoning them. So be patient and stick it out. It will work if you follow it to a T! I also did not exercise during my first Whole30 because it was such a radical diet plan and I didn't want to make it so hard on myself. Don't cheat at all and you will be shocked and pleased at the end. It helped me see when I was turning to food for comfort or rewards or anything other than fuel. Also, none of the stuff that I loved before tastes good anymore. My palette changed and now my favorites are cooked spinach with almond flour and onions in it and black coffee with a banana on the side. Gross, right? I feel so much better and don't want to go back to they way I felt before. I'd rather eat weird stuff and feel good. SO I hope that encourages you in your Whole30 and letting your injury heal.

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ERIN1128 1/14/2013 4:06PM

    Sounds like you are doing great, I know it's tough! Just don't jump back into too quickly. :-) As for me, I'm really trying to push harder on the running...I'd like to actually be able to run 30 min (or 5k) in a row someday!

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LILY_SPARK 1/14/2013 3:51PM

    Good luck healing that sucker. I've heard several people say it took about a year!

I have fallen arches & have had the 'towel scrunch' (and spread back out) with toes exercise. I have no idea if PF & fallen arches are very familiar (I know my situation!). I'm no longer under a PT's care or I'd ask him.

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FIRECOM 1/14/2013 3:41PM

    I knew there was a reason why my exercising is lousy! LOL Honestly, I really appreciate your efforts. Good on you!!


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JEREMY723 1/14/2013 11:26AM

    Getting back into running, learning to be ok with the treadmill if needed based on weather/snow/darkness/all 3.

Getting ready to drive through your state in a couple of weeks on I-77 to go to a wedding down south.

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HEALTH-E-CLARE 1/14/2013 10:04AM

    Love that you have a plan and you are so correct with: "I may not be able to do much of a calorie burn right now in my workouts, but I can build more muscle, which will help increase my all-over calorie burn throughout the day."

Awesome job on Whole 30 so far!

Fingers crossed that the PT, stretches and strength continue to heal you even more!

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A Re-Intro Blog

Friday, January 11, 2013

Well, it seems lil 'ole me has been nommed as Sparkpeople's Motivator of the Day today. Uhm... *cough* ...okay. Thanks?!

For those new to this page, I wanted to give you a quick run-down on why I find this completely humerous, and yet somewhat special. For the real intro on me, I'm sure most of the stuff on my main page's info box is still pretty relevant.

I started Sparkpeople in April 2010 and had a fair bit of a good run there for a while. I dropped 80 pounds pretty quickly and caught the Spark and all that jazz and was doing quite well for myself. And then slowly but surely, everything started to unravel.

Not for lack of trying on my part.
Not because I was slipping or went off plan.

I was fighting harder than ever and still going backwards.

I went from running my first 5-miler in December 2011 to not being able to run hardly anything and, actually, barely walking throughout most of 2012. Nothing I did seemed to matter. I got stricter with my diet because I felt my exercise was suffering because of my mobility issues. I tried everything. I went up in calories, down in calories, I calorie cycled. There were only a few of my honest-to-goodness-goes-against-everything
-I-believe-in things I would NOT try. I took advice from about 50 different people. Sometimes together, sometimes separately. And still, the pain in my foot got worse.

I moved to the bike and the pool.
I lifted. I lifted heavy. I could deadlift and barbell squat with the big boys.
And still, it got worse.

I went to light, wimpy exercises.
I got frustrated because I wasn't even raising my HR enough.
And still, it got worse.

So now I'm with my second PT and podiatrist, who basically said that my bone structure in my foot is rubbish and this may have happened at any point, no matter the size of my body or level of activity. He even told me to expect arthritis at some point down the road, but told me that exercise and flexibility stretches might keep that at bay for a while.

So my long list of injuries throughout 2011 and 2012 began to grow:
a slipped disc in my back
chronic back pain
a tilted (or as I say, "wonky") pelvis
severe osteoarthritis in at least one (but probably both) knee joints
and now the plantar fasciitis in my foot, which caused a bone spur in my ankle

Good days are days when I'm not limping.

From October through the end of 2012, I was in one of the deepest fits of depression I've had in a very long time. Here, I had done all this work, and yet...I was no closer to my goal. I felt like nothing I did even mattered and felt completely cliche because, perhaps, I WAS meant to be fat all my life.

But, finally, by the end of December 2012, I finally slowly emerged from this very dark place.
(Hubs and I discussed my depression last night and he said he was actually worried about me for only about the second time in the entire time we've known each other...)

So on January 1st of this year, I gave myself a fresh start.
The past is the past and there is nothing I can do to change it.
I'm moving on and doing what I think will work for my body and what I like to do.
I'm doing things for me and trying to build my self-confidence to heights never seen before.

This year it isn't about the numbers on the scale, but the lightness of my soul.

So on January 1, 2013, I started my second attempt at Whole30.
Basically, it's a very strict diet plan and, yes, it cuts out entire food groups.
I would normally say this is a rubbish fad diet and no one should do it...except I'm not doing it to diet. I'm doing it to detox my body and give it a fighting chance at finally healing.
What's more, I'm vlogging the entire process over on YouTube:

Today, being the 11th of January, is my 11th day on Whole30 and a lot has changed in just 10 short days. I feel better about myself. My foot feels better. I can tell I've lost a lot of winter bloat already. My skin looks better. My stomach feels better. And I just feel more like a winner than I have in a long since 2010 when I was still losing. Now fighting the problems facing me in this world don't seem like such a daunting task...and I even put myself out there more by making my own beauty channel on YouTube:

I put pages on Facebook, started a Twitter page and Instagram...trying to brand myself. And to date it doesn't bother me that the only people following me are my friends (most from Spark! LOVE you guys!!) and my family. (In the past it would have been enough to break my heart...but this time I'm doing it for me.)

In addition, I started taking portrait photographs and have had requests to do even more. So the branding will happen there again.

So it's funny to me that today of all days I would be put up as MOTD. Because of where I've been the past few months...and because of where I am today. Today I feel like I'm putting out the best me into the I invite you all to join me. I don't promise sunshine and roses out my butt all the time (just check some previous blogs!) but I do promise honesty, sincerity, and, somehow, an utter unwillingness to give up on myself even though every sign points to the EJECT button.

I'm here. I'm awesome. Get used to it.

If you have questions on ANYTHING, feel free to ask...I'll do my best to answer either here or on YouTube in my vlog! ;)

Also, my other blog, which often has different posts and followed me through the tough times a little more, is over here:

Have a happy, healthy day! I'ma go eat some Whole30 approved soup! NOM!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROMNEY3 1/15/2013 1:57PM

    What makes a person a motivator to me is not neccessarily about the success, but about the not giving up. You have not given up. So.....

Oh and I have been watching the You tube vids. Pretty good stuff

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SPUNKYDUCKY 1/13/2013 12:28PM

    Congrats on motivator of the day - completely deserved, perhaps even more so because you have climbed up from where you were several months ago - harder by far than losing weight is figuring out how to keep our souls "light"

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TRENTDREAMER 1/13/2013 10:19AM

    "And I just feel more like a winner than I have in a long since 2010 when I was still losing. Now fighting the problems facing me in this world don't seem like such a daunting task.."
* You got my attention. That has been the frustrating thing for me in losing weight is that I always feel like it's a burden and that I'm a few months away from gaining it all back.

Glad to hear about your progress so far this year.

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CRYSTLE4HIMTX12 1/11/2013 11:18PM

    I lost your blog so it is good to find you again. emoticon

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RUSSELLORAMA 1/11/2013 8:14PM

    I love the vlogs! Great job on Whole30 and I'm digging seeing your meals on Instagram. :)

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CHICAT63 1/11/2013 4:30PM

    Awesomeness !!!! Great vlog... emoticon

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CALLIKIA 1/11/2013 1:45PM

    Twitter, Instagram and FB are all under the name: thebeautynewru

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TEMPENATIVE 1/11/2013 1:38PM

    Congrats, on your new you plan and MOD. I havent followed you in the past, but it sounds like youve been there and back- thats the kind of motivation I need! Your positive attitude has inspired me, I hope I can follow your lead. I have restarted twice in the last year. I get going, start sparking along, then bam-LIFE! Its so hard to keep at it and keep a positive attitude. If i get out of the habit of sparking, I drop off and have to start ALL OVER AGAIN! People are probably sick of me, but oh well I havent been kicked off yet! emoticon

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SARAHJ19 1/11/2013 1:37PM

    ok I love your VLOG on youtube! emoticon

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SARAHJ19 1/11/2013 1:30PM

    how awesome MOTD! emoticon emoticon emoticon
2013 is going to be a great year! what is your fb page?! also instagram! I love to follow you!

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KNOWMOREBBK 1/11/2013 1:24PM

    You are like a combination silly -smart-serious-spectacular-sweet- stunning -supermom. (Say that five times really fast). Iíll call you super-sparkler for short. Itís obvious why you were nominated. Because you are a true force to be reckoned with.


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-POOKIE- 1/11/2013 1:05PM

    Yup awesome, 'nuff said!

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ERIN1128 1/11/2013 1:04PM

    You are awesome, and I'm glad you're here!

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JOURNEYTOI 1/11/2013 12:33PM

  I call moments like this "Life Hints" :) You were meant to be applauded because Lord knows you have had some physical struggles. I also had some severe depression lately and wasn't sure I would EVER feel good about life. Thankfully the cloud is lifting.

You truly ARE awesome! Going to follow you on your You Tube as well. Congrats!

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FIRECOM 1/11/2013 12:30PM

    Living proof that sometimes bad things happen to good people. Glad that you have reinvented yourself. Success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration.

Let us know how it goes.

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A Whole30 Birthday (with Pics!)

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Day 7

First of all, Day 7 was fine. I ate a bunch of leftovers (and eggs, of course, for breakfast), so there are no pictures (I don't take pictures of leftovers *lol*). I cannot tell you how worried I was about the next day and I started early on the stressing over whether or not I'd manage and how sad I thought it would be to be so restricted on that day.

Day 8 - My Birthday

But do you know what happened? I didn't cheat. I did get frustrated, but I did not cheat or go off plan or anything of the sort. I questioned the waitress at lunch. I told her not to cook any of my food in butter or sauce - only oils. I asked about putting sauteed mushrooms and onions on my steak and she told me that they come precut in a sauce, so I told her to forget it. I had grilled veggies along with steamed broccoli. Do you want to know the best way to eat a steak with grilled veggies? Together. All the flavors mesh and things like grilled tomatoes make a perfect compliment to a not so great quality steak.

It was a rough day. I spent over 2 hours in the doctor's office/hospital and was chaged a friggin' hospital copay simply because the doctor sent us over to have x-rays done of Ethan. (This is all for Ethan's encopresis. Which, btw, has gotten better again because I'm eating Whole30 so he's not having unlimited access to a ton of dairy products at the house. Now what he eats at school is his deal...can't control everything.)

After that rough start, I barely made it to the Ulta store where I was set to have my brows done for my birthday. (If you have an Ulta store nearby and your birthday is coming up, ask if they have a Benefit Brow Bar. You get a free brow waxing/shaping on your birthday! It was my first time getting it done and my brow area is still a tad swollen, but I absolutely love the job my girl did! And it only cost me 5 bucks...for the tip!) After brows and such, we headed to lunch...and I seriously, nearly lost my s#*t over the rolls sitting in front of me and the fact that they had precut presauced onions and mushrooms. *sigh* I choked down my resolve and ate my steak (and couldn't even finish a 6 oz steak! Which, of course, meant Ethan got a few bites so he was quite pleased) and veggies (ate all of them).

After that, it was off to Michael's to sort out a mistake that had happened on Sunday which had caused me to be overcharged for something. I was dreading this part and told Ethan I wanted to get it over with before we continued on with what I wanted to do - shop at Ulta and Target. Thankfully, the guy at the register was super nice and even though I had to wait for a rush to clear out, once he started helping me I was in and out in 5 minutes. Not bad.

Did I grumble over the Purple Mountain Yogurt sign taunting me from down the way? Yep. But I didn't get any.

Did my heart jump a little when a girl at the Ulta store offered me a butterscotch candy for my birthday? Yes. But I didn't die.

I talked to my brow girl about what I was doing and she was the first person to be alright with it. "Well it just sounds like you're eating really good stuff still anyhow." *all smiles* I can't tell you how many people start a conversation right now with, "So what is this eating thing you're doing?" They think it's a fad diet, I know. I try to explain the WHY for me as well as the what so they understand that I'm not doing it to lose weight...though it would be a nice bonus. I don't want anyone to think this is a fad diet. It's the healthiest form of a cleanse I've ever seen...and it has opened my eyes as to the mass quantities of sugar we are consuming every single day.

Finally, after all the chaos, it was time for my real work to start. I say work because we're strapped for cash right now and so instead of buying everything I wanted at Ulta, I took notes on what I wanted, what shade was right for me, and how much it costs. That way I can look for sales or when I have some money I know what I want to spend it on. I'm trying to be smart in 2013...we'll see how that turns out. ;) We spent at least an hour in the store and I came away with 3 pages of notes and $50 worth of product...which was actually a good deal. (Okay the $14 bar of soap was not a good "deal" but OMFG if you could smell this soap! I have all of the MOR soaps on my list because they smell amazing! They even have one with Kale! I'm planning on pampering myself this weekend with a bath using my bubble bath (marked down from $4 to .99) and a lather with my new yummy smelling soap. It's my present to myself for getting this far in the Whole30 game.)

We FINALLY left Ulta and I headed over to Target to use a few coupons. Got an eyeshadow for 4.99 instead of 6.99 (it's a gorgeous plum color! Cannot wait to wear it!) and 2 packets of Baby Lips for 1.99 each instead of 2.99 (or 3+ everywhere else!). Ethan got a Coke. *face/palm* I can't fault the kid for wanting something other than water. I had only had my tea up until that point...

As we were headed home, I took a quick detour by the Kroger in town. It's one of the best Kroger stores and has a great health food section, but I couldn't find much of anything snacky to eat there either. Instead I ended up with some Brazil nuts and 2 packages of pre-sliced watermelon. That was my "cake" or sweet for the day - watermelon. (Well, that an an Asian pear last night with some almond butter. It was my birthday! I splurged! ;) )

A quick stop by Rite-Aid to pick up some prescriptions and some face cleanser and makeup (more sales and coupons!) was last on our list before home.

At home, Hubs cooked dinner for me just as he promised he would. He took me shopping the day before so I could pick out and describe to him what he could and could not use. He whipped up some steak strips with onions and mushrooms in the wok with some Olive Oil and steak seasoning. It was absolutely wonderful! And he tossed a bag of those Steamfresh veggies in the micro for a side. I told him his steak was better than the restaurants (it was a really good cut of meat!).

So, see...I survived my birthday without cake. I didn't even blow out a candle (okay, I regret that a bit...should have put a candle in my watermelon), but I did make a wish that the stress would be worth it. And I woke up today with less pain than I have had in a very long time. I win!

Ready for some photo fun?

Birthday nails! :)
Julep in Michelle (navy) and Sally Hansen Smooth & Perfect in Sea (whitish)

Headed out for the day. The eye makeup I got complimented on at Ulta. *big grin* It's a Wizard of Oz themed palette and I now love it! :)

Waiting at the doctor's office...for an HOUR before seeing the doctor. Then off to the hospital for an x-ray, for which he had to be admitted first as a technicality. It was a strange situation and I feel like I got duped out of 50 bucks. *sigh* Ah-well...if it makes my boy better...

Before and after brows. I really like them!

At lunch.

Hand swatches from Ulta shopping. I'm looking for the perfect red and I think I may have found it. BTW - those top right two...they are Liquid Lipsticks from Stila. They stayed there ALL day even after scrubbing with soap and water 4 times! If you want staying power, I can tell you where to find it. ;)

My many steaks. *lol* Don't worry...I'm having chicken for dinner tonight! ;)

At day's end. I'm 32 now and I'm feeling pretty alright about it. I think I might actually look younger this year than I did last year because I'm taking better care of my skin and because I'm eating well. Of course, there are a few trouble spots with that spot above my nose between my brows. Ah-well...I can hide that well with makeup. ;)

On to day 9. Going to get some work done and see how tired I get throughout the day. Still experiencing some lulls and I'm hoping they go away...but it might be more the nature of the work I do and how I feel about it than it is anything else.

Oh, and I have an interview tomorrow. Wish me luck!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EILEA73 1/11/2013 11:25AM

After reading your page and blog and snooping through your pics emoticon ...
I have four words for you: I THINK YOU'RE AMAZING!!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Oh and also a belated emoticon !!!!

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COOKIE_AT_51 1/11/2013 7:36AM

    I know it's a bit late but emoticon !

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SARAHJ19 1/9/2013 8:53PM

    You look beautiful! I LOVE the eye makeup~ It looks really pretty on you! Glad you had such a great day!!! Hope you had a Happy Happy Birthday! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ATROTTIER 1/9/2013 6:05PM

    Good luck on your interview today...I'm sure it's over now but I hope it went well!! I'm so happy to hear all the good stuff you did on your birthday even though some stress was thrown into that, you prevailed and did awesome!!

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MAGPIE17 1/9/2013 12:44PM

    Good luck on the interview! :)

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BTINTERNET 1/9/2013 12:40PM

    Happy birthday dear!!!

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ARUNNINGKAT 1/9/2013 12:34PM

    Girl, you look amazing!!! Happy Birthday! (A day late, sorry!) I am glad you had such a wonderful day!

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GUITARWOMAN 1/9/2013 12:33PM

    A busy birthday! It is absolutely wonderful when we can stay on plan and celebrate at the same time. Talk about feeling virtuous!

good luck with your interview!

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ERIN1128 1/9/2013 12:08PM

    Sounds like a great bday, and your brows look great!! Good luck on the interview!

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MANLEYSANDY 1/9/2013 10:34AM

    You look great, and happy birthday!

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-POOKIE- 1/9/2013 9:37AM

    You look wonderful.

I think you should be totally justifiably proud of yourself for sticking to your commitments!

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