Thursday, August 16, 2012
YAY! It's the first day of school! *jumps up and down like a little girl*
Seriously, do our kids even realize how happy we are when they go back to school? I'll never forget that one commercial a few years back when the parents are all tearful and sad and the kids are looking at them like, "You poor things!" as they get on the school bus. And then the bus drives away and the kids look back to see the adults smiling, laughing, high-fiving, jumping up and down and dancing around with their hands in the air. I laughed and thought, "Yep. That's just about right."
I am so happy that my kids will be doing positive things throughout the day and not sitting around the house letting the computers and XBox eat their brains! I can't wait to hear about all they've learned and the projects they're doing and what kind of math they're learning and what happened at recess! For me, it just means healthier, more-active, learning and growing children...and I can't even express how happy that makes me. For as much as I kick them out of the house during the summer...9 times out of 10 they will sit on the porch griping about how I kicked them out or talking about a video game (yes, they TALK about video games like it's normal conversation!) until I let them back in and they can go back to their holes to hide their heads and let their brains be eaten.
I sent Ethan off today with a healthy dairy and gluten free lunch. I had to spend a little more than I would have liked, but I wanted to make sure he has the best chance possible to not get teased because of the weird foods he's eating. It's not like he explain why he has to eat that way...that would be too humiliating! I bought him a new lunchbox as well so he wouldn't have to cart around a Kroger plastic bag or something similar. *lol* Whatever way I can help. (Though, mark my words...I will be buying a new lunch pail in about a month or so because he's "lost" this one...and I didn't remember to mark it with his name last night so let's at least hope it comes home tonight so I can do that when I get home.)
Shopping at the store last night was hilarious. I took Hubs with me, who is currently self-treating his psoriasis with a diet of no refined sugars. (His hands are clearing up...but that could also be because of the medicated cream they gave him to put on.) We also had a talk about him going out to eat lunch every day at work, so last week he bought himself stuff to make sandwiches in his office. I just smiled. I knew he didn't know. "Uhm, you know there's usually sugar in bread, right?"
He looked at me and scoffed. "Whatever!"
"There's sugar in a lot of things you wouldn't think there was sugar in..."
And the next 30 minutes or so in the store I kept feeling like I needed a pat on the back because I was right...and he had to admit it.
The lunchmeat he bought last week for his sandwiches?
The bread he so loved and bought last week - a whole grain yummy healthy looking bread?
And all the time he thought he was doing good.
By the end of the night he turned to me as he went to put some ketchup on a hotdog and said, "Oh my god...there's sugar in ketchup, isn't there?" *lol* "Yep." (And, yes, I then told him there was also probably sugar in the bun and the hot dog he was about to put the ketchup on.)
At one point he turned to me and said, "So what do people who don't eat sugar EAT when they just want a snack or to munch?"
All-natural meats cut in bite-sized pieces.
Things like that.
I showed him the raw sugar and natural sugar alternatives in the baking aisle, and then asked him, "Why? Are you thinking of just eating a spoonful of this plain?" "Yes." he said. And he wasn't even joking (I don't think). "No!" I said firmly. "THAT is where I draw the line!"
He was so happy with the nuts idea he immediately went over to grab some dry roasted peanuts - lightly salted. WITH SUGAR IN THEM! *lmao* Okay, that one even threw me for a loop. Why the hell do you need sugar in dry roasted peanuts? You need peanuts, an oven, and salt. Done and done.
He found some alternative (I think the unsalted and the ones with salt were fine...just the "lightly salted" ones...wtf?) while I picked up some sunflower kernels for Ethan's lunchbox.
Oh, what great lessons we're all learning!
My goal is to find some things I can make and bake or some alternatives for snacking I can keep around the house so Hubs and the boys all have things at their disposal 24-7. I did buy 3 bundles of grapes, which I know everyone will eat, and will work tonight or tomorrow on getting them cleaned and put in a bowl so they can just grab them when they want them.
On a side note - getting out of bed this morning was torture! If it hadn't been for school starting, the webinar I have at the office later today, and the fact that I pushed a friend into a workout yesterday and felt like I would be a darn fool if I then missed my own because I didn't "feel like it"...I'd be at home right now...happy...sleeping...not sore. *lol*
Football tonight. Going to call Hubs in a bit and see if he can pop something in the crock before he leaves for work. Otherwise the boys will have to do it when they get home.
Have a good first day of school everyone!! Whether you have kids or not...it means that fall is coming!!!!! (I *love* fall!)
You can read about my adventures with packing Ethan's lunch, and some updates on his condition, as well as a review of a new food product we've tried over at The Life & Times of the Fit Fat Girl.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
You're welcome for putting that song in your head. Have fun with it all day. :) *runs so you can't catch her to slap her*
I'd love to tell you that last night exceeded all my expectations and went swimmingly well. I honestly thought that's what I was going to tell you at one point...until the tables turned on me and I was crushed. By a machine. A stupid, tiny handheld digital machine with about 6 buttons that I could crush with a simple good toss at the wall. *grumbles*
First of all, I wasn't feeling good yesterday. Stupid idiot that I was, I went to lunch with a coworker while working in the field. And even though we went to a really great, fresh Mexican place (they make a lot of their stuff onsite without bringing in frozen crap to reheat), I honest-to-goodness could tell from the first bite of tortilla chip that I was making a huge mistake. And then I proceeded to make it anyhow...and eat my entire dish of carbs and beans. When I got back to the office, I honestly thought I was going to yack for at least 30 minutes to an hour and it took everything in me to not go running home to the comfort of my bed.
I stayed. For my workout. I thought about cancelling, but then I figured it'd be best to just get it over with. Plus, I'd already skipped my morning workout for it, so if I bailed on it it would be just another day without a workout. So I stayed, got some more work done, started to feel a tiny bit better by the time I headed to the gym and (while groaning like a 5-year-old) got dressed and ready for a workout.
I warmed up for 10 minutes as directed. And thought I was going to get away without having to do measurements until after. YAY!
And then I got pulled off the machine for measurements. *bangs head on bike machine*
After standing around for at least 5 minutes waiting (we have to have a girl do my measurements because they're all weird about having a guy measure a chick's waist), Jason told me to hop on the bike again to stay warm. *sigh* And then two minutes later...I'm off again and going to get measured.
Started off good...a 303.3 on the scale, which was down about 4 pounds from last time. And especially good considering it was basically already the evening so it was a few pounds up from what it might have been that morning at home had I weighed in. As for my waist - I lost a little. None from my belly button (we'll talk more later about how I have to explain to every single person who measures me that they can either choose to measure my waist or they can measure from my belly button, but neither measurement will be close to that of the other because MY BELLY BUTTON IS NOT AT MY WAIST ANYMORE...well, not the part you see. And we'll talk then about how depressing and sad and horrible it makes you feel to explain this to yet another tiny fit woman who can't possibly understand what that might be like and looks at you like you're making excuses or something. I honestly want to scream "FHUCK YOU! JUST MEASURE MY WAIST!")
And then the body fat measure. They use a handheld machine and, yes, I know these things are inaccurate, but still. Last month it was at 47.2% body fat. This time? I got 41.6% and I almost did a friggin' cartwheel. I got so happy and excited...and then I second guessed myself and said, "well, that can't be right, can it?" To my dismay, Jason agreed. That could not be right. "Maybe I set it for a male." he told me. Gee. Thanks. Appreciate that. He inputted my data again and we started over and the thing said 47.2% this time. And I swear to you I just about fell apart. "Are you serious?!" I said aloud. "NOTHING?" Of course Jason chimes in with, "Hey! Your BMI went down!" and I snapped at him and told him, "BMI is a crap number that means nothing really and you know that." He didn't say anything, but I saw on his face that he agreed. And then I proceeded to have one of the worst workouts of my life.
A. I cried through half of it.
B. I apologized through the other half.
Not only because of my crappy results, but because my hip was hurting and there were several things he asked me to do that I just couldn't. And I kept looking around me thinking, "All these people feel sorry for me because they think I'm just starting out or something...how long must I live with this judgement?" And I asked myself what the hell was wrong with me and why was I broken...and then I asked Jason the same thing and he told me he could look over my diet. And then I second guessed my diet because I know what he's going to say - stop eating high fat foods like sausage and bacon and eat whole grains. And I'm going to say no and that's going to be the reason I won't lose any weight ever again.
It was just a bad night. I held it in as best I could for a full 40 minutes and then grabbed my bag and went to my car and sobbed in my car for a good 5-10 minutes before I could leave. "What the hell am I even doing this for then?" I kept asking...along with the "Why am I broken? What's wrong with me?!" question over and over again.
And I thought then about eating myself out of the pain. What did it matter, right!? It made no difference anyhow. I convinced myself to drive straight to McDonald's and get a Big Mac and Large Fries and a Coke and eat the entire damn thing before Hubs and Ethan got home from football. No one would know. Who the hell cares anyhow, right?!
Don't worry. I talked myself out of it...and into some ice cream from Dairy Queen.
That didn't happen either.
I went to Kroger and picked up some pepperoni and some dark chocolate chunks and went home. I ate some of the dark chocolate (probably more than I should have, but still) and then started watching YouTube videos of My Drunk Kitchen and let the whole horrible night go. Whatever. Crap happens. I'm losing weight. The body fat thing must be wrong because my calves are friggin' full of monster muscles now and they weren't before. And if my waist is shrinking, then what the hell is that and where is that coming from? I don't care. I'll do as my girl Angela says and just keep going..which I did this morning with a great round of laps in the pool (did 88 touches today and feel really ready for the mile attempt on Friday as long as my shoulders hold out - a little sore today but we worked them a lot last night so that's probably why).
I weighed in this morning as a halfway point marker (I figured why wait until tomorrow? Let's just get this over with now and be done with it until September 1st.). 301.8. Doing fine. Keep going.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
I'm dead for blog titles again today. Just checking in real quick as I've got a fair bit of work to get done today and some of it will take me out of the office.
I have another scheduled supervised workout with NTB tonight. *sigh* It's not that I don't like him...I just feel like...I don't know. I think the worst part is the weigh-in and measurements. I have no idea what they're going to say but I have no hope that it's going to be all that positive. Who knows, maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised, but I honestly doubt it. It's like a knife in the gut every time. Since I've been there I have seen nothing but nothing on the scale and I don't think anyone there "gets" it. We don't know why I'm not losing weight and, honestly, I've gotten to the point where I don't even want to try to figure it out. I want to go on living my life, working out 5 days a week and eating right and not worrying about the negative results I'm seeing. Because seeing nothing after doing so much and being sore and tired from workouts and feeling stressed because I REALLY FRIGGIN' WANT SOME CHOCOLATE is annoying and disheartening so I don't even want to deal with it. It has been nice these past few weeks not really knowing from one day to the next and not really letting it stop me from doing what I know I should and what I want to do. I'm getting better at swimming, stronger on the free weights, and even though my PF is bothering me and my back and hip hurt, I've been managing. All while cooking up some amazing meals for me and my family.
So, no, I don't really want to go tonight, but I will. Because I like my gym discount - and that's the reason I started this thing in the first place. I know how to work a gym by now. I haven't lost my motivation to go. I haven't started eating crap and need another reminder of what I'm working toward. But I want that membership discount until the day they tell me, "Okay, your time is over." So I'll keep following the rules as best I can even if it looks like I'm not doing anything according to their measurements. I only have a few months left before my membership price doubles...better take advantage of it while I still can!
Speaking of the healthy meals I've been making...you can read my blog about all the batch cooking I did Sunday at my other blog:
Who knows, it could help some of you that are still holding on to the "I don't have time or money to eat healthy" excuse...
No NROLFW today since I'll be at the gym with Jason tonight. Was nice to sleep in a bit. ;)
Have a happy Tuesday...gotta get back to work!!
Monday, August 13, 2012
Just so you know...that bacon meatloaf is a winner in my house! (You can find the recipe at paleOMG.com under Bacon Meatloaf.) I didn't care for the BBQ sauce (too spicy...I'm a wimp) but I stuck some all natural ketchup on there and ate it with a nice big helping of mashed cauliflower and OMG! SO yummy! (Today I have leftovers! YAY!)
Anyhow...distracted by bacon...moving on...
Today was the first day I can officially say that I swam 1 mile in the pool. Sorta... Let's just say according to initial measurements and the 0 to 1650 program, I swam 1660 yards in my pool today, which is about a mile according to the program. However, my gym says it takes 88 touches (44 laps) to swim a mile (they also say it's like a 25 meter pool or something...and none of that even makes sense together) and I only did 83 this morning. Semantics! (not really) Still, I was impressed that I was able to get all 83 touches in (plus one cool down) without, well, dying...though I seriously need to ice my back now. Wednesday I will do the same -
60 touches (1200 yards)
3x5 touches (3x100 yards)
2x3 touches (2x60 yards)
1x2 touches (40 yards)
= 1660 yards (or 83 touches)
And then on Friday it will be my first attempt to swim all 83 (88 if I'm feeling brave) without stopping. We shall see! (I just hope I don't lose count...if I don't keep repeating the number I start to lose it as it gets higher - around 42 today I thought..."I just said 42, right?" and almost panicked! *lol*)
I also wanted to note that things are going well in my household right now. I sacrificed the majority of my weekend for a nice long batch cooking session and now have stored 2 weeks worth of meals for my family that all follow the Paleo (and, more importantly, Ethan's no-dairy dietary restrictions) rules.
Speaking of, Ethan's appointment went great. Doc seemed to agree with me on the encopresis and my suggestion that it was a lactose issue --- it helped that Ethan went dairy-free all day Friday and had the best day he's had in months! She's sending him to get allergy tests done (which she says are MUCH better now that they've advanced beyond poking you with a bunch of needles) so that we can see what, if any, allergies to food he might have. She said they should also test for gluten allergies and lactose will certainly be included. They'll also test for other common allergies like strawberries and nuts. Until then, she instructed us to keep going like we are - him avoiding dairy as much as possible - and putting him on a regular bathroom schedule. I'm proud to report that last night was day THREE of no problems and he actually THANKED me yesterday! *love*
Anyhow, it's been a crazy weekend, and looks to be a better week this week now that I'm a bit more prepared. The boys start school on Thursday, but it means earlier bedtimes for all of us now. *grin* Didn't make getting up this morning that much easier, but I still made it to the pool, so that's what counts, right?! ;) Also? Today is my first day without coffee. I've switched out my morning joe for some chai tea with some almond milk and a bit of natural sweetner in it. We'll see how it goes. I did miss the creaminess of my creamer a bit this morning, but the tea helps me feel like I'm not completely restricted. It's just for 15 days...then I can go back to my creamer if I want.
You can read more about my weekend at my blog:
Hope you all had a great weekend! I can't wait until the next one! *lol*
Friday, August 10, 2012
I missed my swim this morning, which actually made me quite angry. I never realized how much I love my swims until this morning, but I overslept due to some issues we had to deal with last night (a sort of "family meeting" if you will) and there are always ways of adapting. (Don't I know better than anyone?) I think what I'll do is swap today and tomorrow's workouts. Walk tonight during football practice and swim tomorrow morning. It will mean a meaningless drive to the city on a day I should be off, but maybe I can work that in my favor and get some shopping in at the local market to find some fresh fruits and vegetables for the week.
Last night's family meeting resulted in a challenge to go completely Paleo for the next 15 days for the sake of everyone in my family. Hubs has informed me that he is eliminating refined sugars from his diet. My youngest needs to eliminate dairy products. My oldest already doesn't drink cow's milk because it causes issues. And me? Well, I'm just now starting to notice issues arising when I divert from the Paleo diet now and again. For the past few days when I let some things slip, my stomach issues have returned.
Most people do "The Whole 30" and do 30 days straight...and I'd love to adopt that plan, but I know myself and my family better than anyone else. We have a hard time with long-term goals. Short term is often better for us. 15 days. 1/2 the time suggested. No milk. No cheese. No dairy of any form. No refined sugars. Meats, vegetables, and fruits with plenty of spices. I'm also going to buy some tea and switch out my coffee each morning for tea with a splash of almond milk and a natural sweetner of some sort.
And, remember, I have to do all this on a strict budget as Hubs and I have started a plan to begin building our savings account, pay off some old debts, and get ourselves to a more comfortable spot so we might be able to consider actually buying one of those houses in town that we've been eyeing.
You can read more in-depth about our reasons for this challenge and things that changed my mind (or rather solidified my ideas) in my other blog:
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