CALLIKIA   23,828
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Swim, Girl! SWIM!

Monday, August 13, 2012

Just so you know...that bacon meatloaf is a winner in my house! (You can find the recipe at under Bacon Meatloaf.) I didn't care for the BBQ sauce (too spicy...I'm a wimp) but I stuck some all natural ketchup on there and ate it with a nice big helping of mashed cauliflower and OMG! SO yummy! (Today I have leftovers! YAY!)

Anyhow...distracted by bacon...moving on...

Today was the first day I can officially say that I swam 1 mile in the pool. Sorta... Let's just say according to initial measurements and the 0 to 1650 program, I swam 1660 yards in my pool today, which is about a mile according to the program. However, my gym says it takes 88 touches (44 laps) to swim a mile (they also say it's like a 25 meter pool or something...and none of that even makes sense together) and I only did 83 this morning. Semantics! (not really) Still, I was impressed that I was able to get all 83 touches in (plus one cool down) without, well, dying...though I seriously need to ice my back now. Wednesday I will do the same -

60 touches (1200 yards)
3x5 touches (3x100 yards)
2x3 touches (2x60 yards)
1x2 touches (40 yards)
= 1660 yards (or 83 touches)

And then on Friday it will be my first attempt to swim all 83 (88 if I'm feeling brave) without stopping. We shall see! (I just hope I don't lose count...if I don't keep repeating the number I start to lose it as it gets higher - around 42 today I thought..."I just said 42, right?" and almost panicked! *lol*)

I also wanted to note that things are going well in my household right now. I sacrificed the majority of my weekend for a nice long batch cooking session and now have stored 2 weeks worth of meals for my family that all follow the Paleo (and, more importantly, Ethan's no-dairy dietary restrictions) rules.

Speaking of, Ethan's appointment went great. Doc seemed to agree with me on the encopresis and my suggestion that it was a lactose issue --- it helped that Ethan went dairy-free all day Friday and had the best day he's had in months! She's sending him to get allergy tests done (which she says are MUCH better now that they've advanced beyond poking you with a bunch of needles) so that we can see what, if any, allergies to food he might have. She said they should also test for gluten allergies and lactose will certainly be included. They'll also test for other common allergies like strawberries and nuts. Until then, she instructed us to keep going like we are - him avoiding dairy as much as possible - and putting him on a regular bathroom schedule. I'm proud to report that last night was day THREE of no problems and he actually THANKED me yesterday! *love*

Anyhow, it's been a crazy weekend, and looks to be a better week this week now that I'm a bit more prepared. The boys start school on Thursday, but it means earlier bedtimes for all of us now. *grin* Didn't make getting up this morning that much easier, but I still made it to the pool, so that's what counts, right?! ;) Also? Today is my first day without coffee. I've switched out my morning joe for some chai tea with some almond milk and a bit of natural sweetner in it. We'll see how it goes. I did miss the creaminess of my creamer a bit this morning, but the tea helps me feel like I'm not completely restricted. It's just for 15 days...then I can go back to my creamer if I want.

You can read more about my weekend at my blog:

Hope you all had a great weekend! I can't wait until the next one! *lol*

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUGIRL06 8/14/2012 5:34PM

    So glad Ethan is taking the change well!!! Hopefully this will fix him all up!

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GUITARWOMAN 8/13/2012 12:37PM

    Wonderful for the swimming....I could not ever imagine doing that!


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IRONBLOSSOM 8/13/2012 12:28PM

    Great work!

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ERIN1128 8/13/2012 12:02PM

    Awesome! Congrats on the swimming. I took Kate and a friend to the pool yesterday and swam about a dozen leisurely laps over the 2 hour period that we were there - I can't believe how sore my shoulders and upper back are today! So I am really impressed at your accomplishment. And I'm so glad things are looking up with Ethan. good news all around!

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BAYBELIEVER 8/13/2012 10:54AM

    Awesome on the swimming! Congrats! I know how hard you have been working on this. And I am equally impressed with the 2 weeks of Paleo food! That is quite an accomplishment as well.

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TREP13 8/13/2012 10:18AM

    Congrats on the swim!!! I need to find out the length of my gym's pool to see how much I'm actually swimming. I'm just going on time right now. And yay for the progress with your son's diet.
emoticon emoticon

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LDRICHEL 8/13/2012 10:09AM

    Swimming is SO hard!!! I am in awe of you right now!!!! Haha.

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LMB-ESQ 8/13/2012 9:55AM

    Wow! That bacon meatloaf looks YUMMY! I might have to try that myself!

Congrats on the great swim! You've just come so far!

83 lengths is great! And it's not so very far away from 88. Usually I tell myself, "come on, you've done that many, what's another 5? It's nothing!" On the other hand, you do need to know when to stop so you don't hurt yourself. Sounds like you're doing really well! emoticon emoticon

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Adaptation and A Challenge

Friday, August 10, 2012

I missed my swim this morning, which actually made me quite angry. I never realized how much I love my swims until this morning, but I overslept due to some issues we had to deal with last night (a sort of "family meeting" if you will) and there are always ways of adapting. (Don't I know better than anyone?) I think what I'll do is swap today and tomorrow's workouts. Walk tonight during football practice and swim tomorrow morning. It will mean a meaningless drive to the city on a day I should be off, but maybe I can work that in my favor and get some shopping in at the local market to find some fresh fruits and vegetables for the week.

Last night's family meeting resulted in a challenge to go completely Paleo for the next 15 days for the sake of everyone in my family. Hubs has informed me that he is eliminating refined sugars from his diet. My youngest needs to eliminate dairy products. My oldest already doesn't drink cow's milk because it causes issues. And me? Well, I'm just now starting to notice issues arising when I divert from the Paleo diet now and again. For the past few days when I let some things slip, my stomach issues have returned.

Most people do "The Whole 30" and do 30 days straight...and I'd love to adopt that plan, but I know myself and my family better than anyone else. We have a hard time with long-term goals. Short term is often better for us. 15 days. 1/2 the time suggested. No milk. No cheese. No dairy of any form. No refined sugars. Meats, vegetables, and fruits with plenty of spices. I'm also going to buy some tea and switch out my coffee each morning for tea with a splash of almond milk and a natural sweetner of some sort.

And, remember, I have to do all this on a strict budget as Hubs and I have started a plan to begin building our savings account, pay off some old debts, and get ourselves to a more comfortable spot so we might be able to consider actually buying one of those houses in town that we've been eyeing.

You can read more in-depth about our reasons for this challenge and things that changed my mind (or rather solidified my ideas) in my other blog:

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GUITARWOMAN 8/10/2012 12:45PM

    Nice to see that degree of family solidarity!

Good luck!


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ERIN1128 8/10/2012 12:15PM

    Read your other blog too - wow, you do have a lot going on. I think it's awesome though, that you're going to do the paleo thing as a family - that will make it a lot easier, hopefully, when you can all support each other. Good luck and keep us posted!

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IRONBLOSSOM 8/10/2012 11:21AM

    Good luck! Paleo doesn't work for me, but if it works for you that's wonderful!

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SUGIRL06 8/10/2012 11:00AM

    So jealous and excited for you! After my doctor appointment Monday, I can't wait to get back to Paleo. I am glad you guys are doing it as a family. That is always the hardest part, getting everyone on board. You can do this!!!

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CAROLJEAN64 8/10/2012 10:54AM

    I read both blogs and can't wait to hear the outcome. I sure hope this is the answer for your 10 year old. Assuming it does make the difference, I don't think you will have much trouble convincing him to watch what he eat.s

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-POOKIE- 8/10/2012 9:33AM

    Sounds like a healthy plan for everybody, I hope it works well.

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SNOOPY-ACE 8/10/2012 9:24AM


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GUDDIGO 8/10/2012 9:21AM

  Adaptation is good...

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Thursday, August 09, 2012

First things first...I know my weight isn't doing much of anything, but my legs sure are feeling a bit smaller/tighter/firmer. Not sure if this is an illusion or water build-up in the muscles or what, but I'll take it. I think my rear is shrinking a bit as least it seems that way to me.

We're now a full week into August. Can you believe it?! It's going SO fast! Before long it'll be September and I'll officially have a teenager under my roof (shouldn't be a huge shock - he's already acting like one..."forgets" to shower and do his chores and spends 90% of his time in his room on the computer... *rolls eyes* I should have never let that thing go into his room! (No worries, we have parental control locks on there...Hubs is a computer guy and I'm not too shabby with them myself.)) am I doing thus far on my August goals?


I won't know on this one until the end of the month, though I'll probably do a half-way check next Wednesday or Thursday. I'll also check my body fat measurements. All I hope to do is lose about 5 pounds this month, but I really have little hope that will happen unless I can get my eating under control.


Minutes - 303/888

I think I'm on a good track to hit my goal if I keep at it.

As far as my workouts have gone - I've done 7 out of 9. I'd like to end the month with at least 26 days having worked out, but, again, I'm trying not to stress myself over it.

emoticon is going well. I was considering adding in another week before I go from 1600 to 1650 (or 1660 in my case...20 yard pool and I'm not stopping 1/2 way through), but yesterday's swim was much better than Mondays and I think that my new goggles are partly to blame for my troubles Monday. I took breaks with them off and that helped a LOT yesterday. They sit a little tight, but I expect them to stretch out a bit like the others did. I'm not going back to the others though - these are wonderful! They make the pool a bit brighter instead of darker and they never fog! It's a wonder, I tell you!

emoticon NROLFW is going alright. I missed a workout this week (Tuesday) because I was home sick, so I'm a day off and I'm not sure how to make that up (or if I should even try). I'll figure it out, I'm sure. If all plans fail, I'll just keep moving on with the workouts whatever day they fall on. Today I upped my weight on Workout A and am currently back to squatting 100 pounds for 15 reps. The only thing I have real trouble on is the step-ups (though the pushups aren't much better) as my right hip is weak and the PF in my right foot seems to be flaring up again. I got through them all today, but I won't be upping the weight on these again until my form improves and I feel more stable. Whenever my trainer pulls out the step I get a little's my true weakness.

emoticon I almost skipped my Yoga on Sunday but, boy, am I glad I didn't! It was only a 20 minute session (not 30 as I'd thought), but it's a Giam AM Yoga DVD with 5 different programs on it - things like Standing Poses, Twists, and the one I (thank goodness!) did on Sunday - Hip Opener. As my hips are what give me the most trouble, and they were super sore this past week, this was the perfect way to end one week and start another. I felt much better after and hardly felt the soreness I had been feeling in my right hip/pelvis. I may repeat that one again this week.

emoticon The only thing I haven't done yet is my Saturday walks. In fact, yesterday my youngest and I were going to go for a walk, but we were so diverted by our hunger that we simply forgot. I'm working on it. It's a habit I want us to start. I'm considering taking one of the dogs with me to football practice tonight and walking him while Ethan is playing. We shall see how tired I am come day's end. (I'd love to bring both of them but...well, Joey is almost as big as a minature horse, but he's the easiest to control. Champ weighs a whopping 25 pounds, but while he may be small he's sturdy as all get out...and he likes to bark. He's still a puppy and easily bored, so I don't know if I could keep him under control (and keep him from barking). We'll have to see...)


I'm not going to lie...this is where August has fallen apart. It's not that I'm binging all the time or eating unhealthy crap all day. I make good choices a lot of the time, but adjusting to my new work schedule and 4 day a week football practices after work...well, it's been a huge change to our system. We took to bagging up some crockpot meals this past weekend, but none of them have been exactly stellar, so I'm going to have to work out some more interesting dishes if I can...

The other wrench in the plan is that we're trying to put our finances back in order so I can't just blow a bunch of cash in the produce section of the grocery store. I know you will all say that it's a lie that it costs more to eat healthy, but it's not a lie when you know how to coupon like a mad woman. They don't give out many coupons for fresh produce - sorry! So while I can get a couponed meal from the middle aisles for about a buck to feed the whole family...the fresh ingredients I need for many of my meals are considerably more. This weekend will be the real test as I'll start today trying to put together a meal plan and a budget-friendly shopping list. This would be so much easier if I lived alone, but when you have 2 growing boys, and one adult boy who is no longer growing but can eat 3 servings of anything I give him (and never gain an ounce, mind you)...well, it's been a tough thing to sort out.


My weekend projects have been going pretty well. The hallway is nearly done - I just have to decide if I want to paint/decorate or if I'm just going to call "clean as a whistle" overhaul enough. I also got started on part of the kitchen and part of the living room this past weekend. The kitchen is already decorated, but I've been eyeing a paint color for the living room/hallway for the past 3 years or's just such a large undertaking seeing as my wood panel walls require a bit of primer first...a good bit if the color is light...which this is. Plus, I need a new couch/seating and I don't have the funds to buy a new living room set right now. Which means I either need to make the stuff myself, or settle (again) with what we have. I haven't decided what to do yet...though I did talk to Hubs the other day about the couch idea I have that we could make together...if we ever find time to be together for longer than an hour.

As for my blog. It's going alright. It's been a bit of a challenge as I try to write something different there than I do here...but that doesn't always work out and a lot of times I end up on the same topic there. Still, it's nice that I can make that little corner of the interwebs my home. I'm not fully 100% sure what I'm going to do with it, but for right now, I'm just moving forward with what I've got. I hope y'all will visit me! I'll try to do better at taking pictures next week of meals and projects that I do. Which reminds me...I need a project plan for this weekend AND a new meal plan. I think we're having 4 practices again next week, so I'll need 4 made-ahead meals ready to either go in the oven or the crockpot while we head off to practice.

Here's my off-site blog address if you want to check it out:

I haven't posted today yet, but maybe once I wrap my head around what needs to be done I'll have more to say.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUGIRL06 8/10/2012 10:58AM

    1) I love Giam AM Yoga!!! I like the bending sequence I think it is? Great for my running!
2) It is cheaper to eat crappy. I am 100% with you on that. I saw Chef Boyardee Ravioli for $0.88 a can yesterday. I got Wendy's for lunch (who me?!) and spent $2.69 on a Junior bacon cheeseburger and a value fry (plus a free kid's frosty). I can't cook for those tiny amounts.


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ERIN1128 8/9/2012 12:03PM

    Dang woman, you are smokin'! Sounds like things are really going well. Don't beat yourself up for what's not happening - focus on the MANY things you're doing right!

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ARUNNINGKAT 8/9/2012 11:51AM

    Food budgeting can be a real challenge and produce IS very expensive! I have been able to reduce produce costs a little by shopping at the Walmart produce department and taking advantage of the farmer's market and road-side produce stand in town. It's still a challenge though.

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MUSICNERD1993 8/9/2012 11:26AM

    You're doing great so far. Keep it up!

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GUITARWOMAN 8/9/2012 11:07AM

    You are surely a busy woman.

And strong. Did I read that you squatted with 100 pounds? Wowza!

Keep it up, you will succeed with your goals!


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    The scale is not the only measurement we have available and we must not be a slave to the scale. Much better gauges are how do I feel? and how do my clothes fit?

Make it a great day!

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MOMMY2GIRLS 8/9/2012 8:56AM


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It's Whatever...

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Today is August 8, 2012.
Today is the day I change my life.

Did you all have one of those? Those wake-up, ah-ha, lightbulb moments? Did some outside or inside trigger just flip the switch and you decided that THIS was it?

I didn't have one of those moments. Honestly, I didn't.

I mean, back in 2004 when this all started I sorta did...but not really. I was going in for testing for gastric bypass surgery and I figured that I would start the diet throughout the testing so it wasn't such a shock to my system when I came out of surgery.

In April 2010...I still to this day cannot tell you what hit me. It was a combination of the fact that my childhood friend had been working out and trying to get healthy combined with a weekend trip up to see her where we ended up at the middle school - where I remember walking the track after school lap after lap just trying to lose weight.

I have had so many stops and starts in my life.
I think that's why I don't like the word "journey". Because if I looked at it that way, I would have to include my entire life past the age of about 8.
Because after age 5 I became fat and I stayed that way.
And even though I wasn't ashamed of it (because I was friggin' 8 and didn't care much beyond whether my Barbie's hair was combed and styled properly and if her shoes matched her shirt), everyone around me was. And they taught me the shame I would later adopt and carry with me.

But never - not once - was THAT time THE time.

I don't know why.
Especially by April 2010 when I joined Spark.

I had given up on the idea that there would ever be a THIS time or that I could determine when that time would be. It was out of my hands. I could do what I could. I could try. But I would probably fail.

It's one reason I didn't tell anyone at first what I was doing. My husband found out in the first week or so when I started measuring my food. But other than the world I was building on one knew. Slowly I began to tell people. My mom. My sister. My family. A few close friends. And by then people were already noticing my weight loss, so the proverbial cat was out of the bag.

And all the while I was biting my nails, but trying to be brave.

Finally, I let my world in on FB.

Big mistake. HUGE!
Because now I felt like they expected things of me I wasn't prepared to give.
They wanted me to be someone I didn't feel I was yet...and might never be.

Because, remember, this time wasn't THE time...or at least I had no control over whether it would be or not.

Add to that a lengthy plateau that is probably 99.9% my fault for whatever reason and...

This wasn't the time.
Maybe tomorrow was the time.
Maybe it never would be the time.

Last night, as I watched my son's football team practice, I heard a lot of the boys panting and breathing heavy and unable to do a lot of the basic drills they use to do day after day.


After practice, I stopped by the store for the dreaded box of instant mashed potatoes and a bag of frozen vegetables.


A huge fight I had earlier with the Hubs...and an offhand agreement from him about how I had not been choosing my food wisely the past few days.


A talk with my son when we got home from football wherein I made him stretch (because they don't stretch them out after practice or games) and then had him ice his sore ankles.

...somehow...yesterday broke my heart.

I was feeling pretty good about myself. I'd been hitting the gym pretty regularly. I'd been making a ton of meals at home. I'd been using the weekends to get my house cleaned, scrubbed and organized - which involved more weekend movement than I've had in months. And yet...I don't know...I still feel like it's not enough and that I'm not enough.

And I don't know how to fix that...or if it can be fixed.

Today in the pool I pushed a little harder on my last few sets of laps. I got the entire 1600 yards in, and followed that with 40 uber relaxed cool down yards. The fast laps helped me hit some higher ranges on my HRM (130s-160), but I can't say it's made me feel any better.

I feel more like I'm treading water.

Until I figure out what else to do, though...I'll keep treading.

Because even though I can't say that THIS is THE time.
I can't say it isn't either.

I feel like I have no control over it...and that makes me sad and frustrated.
And then I feel like I have the control, I'm just not strong enough to do it...and that makes me even more sad.

More than anything, I'm feeling bored and stressed and pressured and overwhelmed by all that's been thrown at me lately. Between work and the house and my kids and football and dinners and workouts and still not getting anywhere with ANY of it...


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUGIRL06 8/10/2012 10:53AM

    I don't know if this is how you are feeling, but I'm tired. I started on SP 3 years ago and I'm tired of logging, tracking, running in circles for a good calorie burn, feeling like what I do isn't getting me anywhere.

This week has been liberating. I haven't run (which isn't the greatest idea as the marathon isn't that far away), but I did do my P90X and it was so nice to not wear my Heart Rate Monitor. To completely ignore my calories burned. I tracked my workouts on Fitocracy where they give you points and you can "level up" and complete challenges like a video game. It was actually fun tracking my workout for once.

It is what I need right now, to step away from the weight loss mindset and find some other way to keep me on this healthy path. I hope you find what you need!

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HEALTH-E-CLARE 8/9/2012 10:27AM

    Hugs girl! Just keep treading and you'll get through this stress and pressure.

CONGRATS on the 1,600 swim!!!

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SERENEART 8/8/2012 7:21PM

    emoticon emoticon

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EGALITAIRE 8/8/2012 3:22PM

    I seems to be more productive to think "healthy lifestyle" rather than being on a diet or setting goals for weight loss.

Actually setting weight loss goals is a recipe for disappointment. Having a picture of what we will look like in a healthy body is probably a good thing for most people.

Weight loss is not in our direct control - there might be other things going on in our bodies of which we are not aware. We are in direct control of what we swallow and how much we move.

Ideally goals would focus on the things we can directly control - nutrition, exercise, stress and sleep. If we optimize those and are still not healthier, something else is going on.

Stay Strong

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MUSOLF6 8/8/2012 3:17PM

    emoticon emoticon

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ERIN1128 8/8/2012 12:14PM

    I really like what one of the other posters said - "I would rather be where I am now, treading water, than where I began." I know it's frustrating, I feel it too, but you need to hang onto the fact that you have come soooooo far...there will be plateaus, but you WILL move forward eventually, I have faith! Hang in there babe.

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IRONBLOSSOM 8/8/2012 11:53AM

    For me it is this goal. 2011 was the year I found a new and better job. 2012 is the year I lose the weight. It has become obvious that 2012 is really the year that I develop the new habits that will allow me to lose the weight throughout 2012 and 2013, but that's okay.

It's also a choice I make every single minute of the day. Always in the past I have let myself "forget." I'll start a new diet plan, then by day two I'm accidentally forgetting my lunch at home and having to go through a drive through and it all goes downhill from there. That's one thing SP has really helped me with, it's always at my fingertips.

It's frustrating to think that I may have diet/exercise/weight loss on my brain as much as it has been for the last year for the rest of my life in order to maintain a healthy weight, but at the same time, it's gratifying for me to see how far I've come. Even though I wish I were doing better, I'm still making progress. Even if I don't lose another pound this whole year, I'll still end the year 20 pounds less than last year. That's better than 2 pounds heavier. And next year I'll keep going. And the year after that.

It's not really a journey or a's a lifestyle. Unfortunately, none of us are going to go from 200 pounds to 150 overnight!

P.S. I'm going to swim tomorrow morning for my workout! You've inspired me!

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PAPAMIKIE 8/8/2012 11:40AM

    Have you tried eating elephants?


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ARUNNINGKAT 8/8/2012 11:37AM

    I understand completely on feeling overwhelmed and stressed by it all. I too am struggling lately with everything I have going - family errands and activities, work, working out, trying to eat the right way, keep the house clean, manage our rental property, the list goes on and on and on and it often seems like I will never keep up with it all and certainly not in the way that I want to. I wish I could give you the answer, but I am definitely trying to find it myself. emoticon

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    I hear you, loud and clear...

I'm not going to throw "good news, rah rah, we can do this" your way - I only have this:

I would rather be where I am now, treading water, than where I began. THAT is what I hold onto at the times I feel this way. Does it make me feel better? NOPE. But it at least acknowledges what I've managed to accomplish (so far) and gives me the strength for another day (hour, minute)...

Hang tough, gal. Let me know if there is something I can do for you. It's a bona fide offer :)


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ATROTTIER 8/8/2012 11:31AM

    emoticon emoticon

Thinking of you friend, I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. It's true many of us can relate to what you are feeling but it doesn't come with an easy answer of course...I really wish it did. I just know that I accept these days where I feel defeated and just keep going and maybe cry in my car or something just to release some of that emotion that you don't want anyone to see. You don't have anything to prove to anyone! You are a wonderful person and that is good enough! I know we give ourselves these expectations and "goals" and when they don't happen fast enough or even at all we just get crushed and re-evaluate and keep on trekking I guess. Hang in there beautiful!

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CUSTOMSOUND79 8/8/2012 11:14AM

    You know it's time when you are 110% fed up. It's when the lightbuld go off and you realize "You know, I don't have to live this way. It really is up to me and I refuse to put up with all of this BS!" Well, at least that's what happened to me. I think most of us can relate to your situation. I'm with you on the "journey" term, as I don't think our lives should be defined by our relationship with food and fitness, BUT they can be hindered in a big way. It's when we don't have that healthy relationship that others define us that way.

I think your FB friends want the best for you and it can be a motivator to let others in on what you are doing. Only you can decide what the outcome of that will be. It's understandable to be a little wary, but my view is to attck it like it you cannot be stopped. If you are luke warm then so to will be the results.

I don't mean to be insulting or anything, I've been there too. Don't give up.

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MAMADWARF 8/8/2012 10:53AM

    I have been here since march 2010, too. I feel a lot li,e you do and I also eased in to telling people in my life. Now it feels like everyone is used to me this way. They all used to ask "so, how much have you lost NOW". Nobody asks because its obvious I haven't lost anymore and am in fact up about 15 from my lowest. It is very confusing sometimes. Certain things have stuck solid and some are fleeting moments of hitting the mark.

Treading water seems to be key so I am doing that and just doing what I can each day. We will get there. We have today. Jan

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BAYBELIEVER 8/8/2012 10:04AM

    So much of this struck a nerve with me. Your whole story. I told no one when I started except the one son living with me caught on too. Six months later when the cat came out of the bag, now my weight loss was everyone's concern and time to chime in. After losing 90 lbs (if even for a second, 80 I hold to) I started self sabotaging. I have begun to believe that it was/is because everyone suddenly was judging me, making suggestions, blah blah blah. I had lost 80 lbs without anyone even knowing on my own. Why now was my weight loss everyone's business? I have gained back nearly 40 lbs. It isn't the end of the world. But, I am taking my life back. It's a little harder with the cat still out of the bag, but it will get done. Treading water is good. That is what I am doing right now. Making plans for September (after I take my son back to college) but in the meantime treading water and doing the best I can. Hang in there. I am here right with you!

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LOVETASSIE 8/8/2012 9:36AM

    sorry to read you are not feeling good about yourself and what you are doing right now.. but chin up girl, you have come so far!! and you look so pretty in your photos, it has all been so worth it for so many reasons! when things are looking dull and grey, and no solution can be thought of, it is often in the most unexpected moment that things suddenly become clear and make sense, you can feel deep down what needs to be done. Its almost like it bites you in the backside ;) and you think, heck, why didn't I see that before?? I always say this to myself in difficult times: life is like a funfair wheel; when you reach the bottom it can only go up again!
sending you positive energy
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Comment edited on: 8/8/2012 9:37:44 AM

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GUITARWOMAN 8/8/2012 9:35AM

    I think every day is the day that we change our lives......

And some days it is ok, and some days it is very difficult, and that is life.

I think we have to keep on keeping on.

I find your blogs quite interesting, and enjoy reading them! They make me think, which is very good!


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Heck of a Swim!

Monday, August 06, 2012

Haven't been feeling well the past few days, but I'm proud to report that other than my walk on Saturday, I have stuck to all my workouts for the month of August thus far. In fact, I worked out every day last week except Sunday and Saturday. Not too shabby. Still wish I had gotten that Saturday walk in, but somehow I ended up passed out on the couch in between cleaning projects. Like I said, I haven't been feeling very well. Heck, I fell asleep during an episode of Doctor Who for crying out loud! WTF?!

Sunday - None
Monday - Laps
Tuesday - NROLFW with w/u, c/d, and stretching
Wednesday - Laps
Thursday - NROLFW with w/u, c/d and stretching
Friday - Laps
Saturday - None (but a lot of cleaning)
Sunday - 20 minute AM Yoga Hip Opener routine (LOVE this one!)
Monday - Laps

Gonna try to keep it going...

My swim this morning was a killer! I knew it would be rough as I was going from 600 yards straight to 1,000...which I think is quite a jump. In my pool that's going from 30 touches to 50! That's almost double from one week to the next! It didn't help that I was pressed for time due to:

1) waking up late.
2) following the clock on the wall, until I realized it said 5 to 3 for 15 minutes and I was running late.
3) having to stop for gas because my dolt of a husband decided to go for a late night drive last night to Wendy's (shame on him!), not knowing I was rationing my gas and had JUST ENOUGH to not have to stop in the AM.
4) a traffic jam on the freeway 2 miles from my exit. It took me about 20 minutes to get 1 mile and then I had to go the back way round.

Plus, maybe my new goggles were a little tight. Or my new cap needs adjusting to. *shrug* I tend to think it's just the almost double increase in time without breaks. It required me to take longer strokes in order to take longer breaths and take too many recovery laps not using my legs. And I still ended up with a bit of a headache for my trouble. I was supposed to follow that 1,000 with another 4x100 and then a 2x60 and 2x40, so I was 600 off my target (minus the 20 yards of breast stroke to see the clock and the 20 yards of back stroke back before getting out of the water).

Between the time and the difficulty...I'm not mad at myself for not finishing.
I do think I might have to take another week before I do my mile swim.
According to 0 to 1650 one mile will be just under 83 touches...but according to the gym it's 88 touches for a mile. I'll shoot for the higher number when I do my first mile attempt...but I don't think I'll be ready for that by next Friday. Another week might put me there, though...we'll have to see how the rest of the week pans out.

That being said:
I'm tired.
I don't want to be at work.
And there are another 6.5 hours until I can leave.

I guess I'll get some work done in order to get my mind off of the fact that there's another 6.5 hours left and I don't want to be at work.

Have a crockpot meal ready for cooking for dinner tonight.
Another football practice tonight...but this time I'm prepared!

My one big pet peeve of this football practice schedule, though? There is no schedule. I have no clue what other nights this week he'll be practicing. At the end of tonight's practice they'll tell the kids - next practice is [fill in day of the week here] at [fill in time]. It's a bit annoying.

Still, they might be getting jerseys tonight, so that should be fun. I'd love Ethan to keep his same number as last year, but I doubt he'll fit the same jersey this year.

And, for the was really hard trying to forget to weigh in this weekend. Friday passed and that was alright. But Sunday was brutal. It was my old weigh-in day, and I debated all day whether or not I should peek. But I didn't. I stayed away. I realized that I needed to keep this focus. Right now working out and eating right are just a part of my life. I'm not perfect at it, but who is? And I'm not killing myself with negativity either. I'm nervous that it won't produce any results, but the other way - killing myself - didn't produce results either. At least this way I feel like I'm getting things done and I don't hate myself for what I don't do.

You can read about my weekend project(s) over at The Life & Times of the Fit Fat Girl:

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTH-E-CLARE 8/9/2012 10:04AM

    You are just killing it in the pool. I have no doubt you'll be at a mile soon. Are you swimming it all freestyle or do you alternate strokes?

As for the headaches you get while swimming, it could be the whole breathing thing, but do you keep a water bottle by the pool and drink at some of your breaks? It could be dehydration, which is funny when you're fully submerged in water, but it happens to me sometimes.

Hope they care coming up with a more set schedule for football... you're a planner like me and I know how frustrating that can be!

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SUGIRL06 8/6/2012 2:48PM

    You will get used to the lack of weight in. Takes time but eventually you will be thinking "Oh wow, its been a while, maybe I should do that..." and forget again. loL!
Bummer about practices being all over the place. How do they expect you to function like that??

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GUITARWOMAN 8/6/2012 11:58AM

    I admire you for tracking so closely and doing your best to meet your goals!

keep it up for sure!


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IRONBLOSSOM 8/6/2012 11:52AM

    I finally got all my gear ready and I'm going to start swimming too! My joints need the break, I'm sure. I was waiting until after my half marathon next weekend, but I think I'll end up running a few days this week and then swimming. I used to swim and I miss it and hearing about all your great workouts is inspiring!

My event when I was on swim team was the 1650...I bet I can't even do half of that now! But I'm excited to try.

Keep it up!

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TREP13 8/6/2012 11:00AM

    That is awesome!!! You have inspired me to FINALLY use the pool at my gym (I joined two years ago). I swam laps for an hour yesterday and it felt great. I can't wait to get back in the pool again tomorrow.
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