Thursday, August 09, 2012
First things first...I know my weight isn't doing much of anything, but my legs sure are feeling a bit smaller/tighter/firmer. Not sure if this is an illusion or water build-up in the muscles or what, but I'll take it. I think my rear is shrinking a bit as well...at least it seems that way to me.
We're now a full week into August. Can you believe it?! It's going SO fast! Before long it'll be September and I'll officially have a teenager under my roof (shouldn't be a huge shock - he's already acting like one..."forgets" to shower and do his chores and spends 90% of his time in his room on the computer... *rolls eyes* I should have never let that thing go into his room! (No worries, we have parental control locks on there...Hubs is a computer guy and I'm not too shabby with them myself.))
Anyhow...how am I doing thus far on my August goals?
I won't know on this one until the end of the month, though I'll probably do a half-way check next Wednesday or Thursday. I'll also check my body fat measurements. All I hope to do is lose about 5 pounds this month, but I really have little hope that will happen unless I can get my eating under control.
Minutes - 303/888
I think I'm on a good track to hit my goal if I keep at it.
As far as my workouts have gone - I've done 7 out of 9. I'd like to end the month with at least 26 days having worked out, but, again, I'm trying not to stress myself over it.
is going well. I was considering adding in another week before I go from 1600 to 1650 (or 1660 in my case...20 yard pool and I'm not stopping 1/2 way through), but yesterday's swim was much better than Mondays and I think that my new goggles are partly to blame for my troubles Monday. I took breaks with them off and that helped a LOT yesterday. They sit a little tight, but I expect them to stretch out a bit like the others did. I'm not going back to the others though - these are wonderful! They make the pool a bit brighter instead of darker and they never fog! It's a wonder, I tell you!
NROLFW is going alright. I missed a workout this week (Tuesday) because I was home sick, so I'm a day off and I'm not sure how to make that up (or if I should even try). I'll figure it out, I'm sure. If all plans fail, I'll just keep moving on with the workouts whatever day they fall on. Today I upped my weight on Workout A and am currently back to squatting 100 pounds for 15 reps. The only thing I have real trouble on is the step-ups (though the pushups aren't much better) as my right hip is weak and the PF in my right foot seems to be flaring up again. I got through them all today, but I won't be upping the weight on these again until my form improves and I feel more stable. Whenever my trainer pulls out the step I get a little antsy...it's my true weakness.
I almost skipped my Yoga on Sunday but, boy, am I glad I didn't! It was only a 20 minute session (not 30 as I'd thought), but it's a Giam AM Yoga DVD with 5 different programs on it - things like Standing Poses, Twists, and the one I (thank goodness!) did on Sunday - Hip Opener. As my hips are what give me the most trouble, and they were super sore this past week, this was the perfect way to end one week and start another. I felt much better after and hardly felt the soreness I had been feeling in my right hip/pelvis. I may repeat that one again this week.
The only thing I haven't done yet is my Saturday walks. In fact, yesterday my youngest and I were going to go for a walk, but we were so diverted by our hunger that we simply forgot. I'm working on it. It's a habit I want us to start. I'm considering taking one of the dogs with me to football practice tonight and walking him while Ethan is playing. We shall see how tired I am come day's end. (I'd love to bring both of them but...well, Joey is almost as big as a minature horse, but he's the easiest to control. Champ weighs a whopping 25 pounds, but while he may be small he's sturdy as all get out...and he likes to bark. He's still a puppy and easily bored, so I don't know if I could keep him under control (and keep him from barking). We'll have to see...)
I'm not going to lie...this is where August has fallen apart. It's not that I'm binging all the time or eating unhealthy crap all day. I make good choices a lot of the time, but adjusting to my new work schedule and 4 day a week football practices after work...well, it's been a huge change to our system. We took to bagging up some crockpot meals this past weekend, but none of them have been exactly stellar, so I'm going to have to work out some more interesting dishes if I can...
The other wrench in the plan is that we're trying to put our finances back in order so I can't just blow a bunch of cash in the produce section of the grocery store. I know you will all say that it's a lie that it costs more to eat healthy, but it's not a lie when you know how to coupon like a mad woman. They don't give out many coupons for fresh produce - sorry! So while I can get a couponed meal from the middle aisles for about a buck to feed the whole family...the fresh ingredients I need for many of my meals are considerably more. This weekend will be the real test as I'll start today trying to put together a meal plan and a budget-friendly shopping list. This would be so much easier if I lived alone, but when you have 2 growing boys, and one adult boy who is no longer growing but can eat 3 servings of anything I give him (and never gain an ounce, mind you)...well, it's been a tough thing to sort out.
My weekend projects have been going pretty well. The hallway is nearly done - I just have to decide if I want to paint/decorate or if I'm just going to call "clean as a whistle" overhaul enough. I also got started on part of the kitchen and part of the living room this past weekend. The kitchen is already decorated, but I've been eyeing a paint color for the living room/hallway for the past 3 years or so...it's just such a large undertaking seeing as my wood panel walls require a bit of primer first...a good bit if the color is light...which this is. Plus, I need a new couch/seating and I don't have the funds to buy a new living room set right now. Which means I either need to make the stuff myself, or settle (again) with what we have. I haven't decided what to do yet...though I did talk to Hubs the other day about the couch idea I have that we could make together...if we ever find time to be together for longer than an hour.
As for my blog. It's going alright. It's been a bit of a challenge as I try to write something different there than I do here...but that doesn't always work out and a lot of times I end up on the same topic there. Still, it's nice that I can make that little corner of the interwebs my home. I'm not fully 100% sure what I'm going to do with it, but for right now, I'm just moving forward with what I've got. I hope y'all will visit me! I'll try to do better at taking pictures next week of meals and projects that I do. Which reminds me...I need a project plan for this weekend AND a new meal plan. I think we're having 4 practices again next week, so I'll need 4 made-ahead meals ready to either go in the oven or the crockpot while we head off to practice.
Here's my off-site blog address if you want to check it out:
I haven't posted today yet, but maybe once I wrap my head around what needs to be done I'll have more to say.
Wednesday, August 08, 2012
Today is August 8, 2012.
Today is the day I change my life.
Did you all have one of those? Those wake-up, ah-ha, lightbulb moments? Did some outside or inside trigger just flip the switch and you decided that THIS was it?
I didn't have one of those moments. Honestly, I didn't.
I mean, back in 2004 when this all started I sorta did...but not really. I was going in for testing for gastric bypass surgery and I figured that I would start the diet throughout the testing so it wasn't such a shock to my system when I came out of surgery.
In April 2010...I still to this day cannot tell you what hit me. It was a combination of the fact that my childhood friend had been working out and trying to get healthy combined with a weekend trip up to see her where we ended up at the middle school - where I remember walking the track after school lap after lap just trying to lose weight.
I have had so many stops and starts in my life.
I think that's why I don't like the word "journey". Because if I looked at it that way, I would have to include my entire life past the age of about 8.
Because after age 5 I became fat and I stayed that way.
And even though I wasn't ashamed of it (because I was friggin' 8 and didn't care much beyond whether my Barbie's hair was combed and styled properly and if her shoes matched her shirt), everyone around me was. And they taught me the shame I would later adopt and carry with me.
But never - not once - was THAT time THE time.
I don't know why.
Especially by April 2010 when I joined Spark.
I had given up on the idea that there would ever be a THIS time or that I could determine when that time would be. It was out of my hands. I could do what I could. I could try. But I would probably fail.
It's one reason I didn't tell anyone at first what I was doing. My husband found out in the first week or so when I started measuring my food. But other than the world I was building on Spark...no one knew. Slowly I began to tell people. My mom. My sister. My family. A few close friends. And by then people were already noticing my weight loss, so the proverbial cat was out of the bag.
And all the while I was biting my nails, but trying to be brave.
Finally, I let my world in on FB.
Big mistake. HUGE!
Because now I felt like they expected things of me I wasn't prepared to give.
They wanted me to be someone I didn't feel I was yet...and might never be.
Because, remember, this time wasn't THE time...or at least I had no control over whether it would be or not.
Add to that a lengthy plateau that is probably 99.9% my fault for whatever reason and...
This wasn't the time.
Maybe tomorrow was the time.
Maybe it never would be the time.
Last night, as I watched my son's football team practice, I heard a lot of the boys panting and breathing heavy and unable to do a lot of the basic drills they use to do day after day.
ADD THAT TO...
After practice, I stopped by the store for the dreaded box of instant mashed potatoes and a bag of frozen vegetables.
ADD THAT TO...
A huge fight I had earlier with the Hubs...and an offhand agreement from him about how I had not been choosing my food wisely the past few days.
ADD THAT TO...
A talk with my son when we got home from football wherein I made him stretch (because they don't stretch them out after practice or games) and then had him ice his sore ankles.
...somehow...yesterday broke my heart.
I was feeling pretty good about myself. I'd been hitting the gym pretty regularly. I'd been making a ton of meals at home. I'd been using the weekends to get my house cleaned, scrubbed and organized - which involved more weekend movement than I've had in months. And yet...I don't know...I still feel like it's not enough and that I'm not enough.
And I don't know how to fix that...or if it can be fixed.
Today in the pool I pushed a little harder on my last few sets of laps. I got the entire 1600 yards in, and followed that with 40 uber relaxed cool down yards. The fast laps helped me hit some higher ranges on my HRM (130s-160), but I can't say it's made me feel any better.
I feel more like I'm treading water.
Until I figure out what else to do, though...I'll keep treading.
Because even though I can't say that THIS is THE time.
I can't say it isn't either.
I feel like I have no control over it...and that makes me sad and frustrated.
And then I feel like I have the control, I'm just not strong enough to do it...and that makes me even more sad.
More than anything, I'm feeling bored and stressed and pressured and overwhelmed by all that's been thrown at me lately. Between work and the house and my kids and football and dinners and workouts and still not getting anywhere with ANY of it...
Monday, August 06, 2012
Haven't been feeling well the past few days, but I'm proud to report that other than my walk on Saturday, I have stuck to all my workouts for the month of August thus far. In fact, I worked out every day last week except Sunday and Saturday. Not too shabby. Still wish I had gotten that Saturday walk in, but somehow I ended up passed out on the couch in between cleaning projects. Like I said, I haven't been feeling very well. Heck, I fell asleep during an episode of Doctor Who for crying out loud! WTF?!
Sunday - None
Monday - Laps
Tuesday - NROLFW with w/u, c/d, and stretching
Wednesday - Laps
Thursday - NROLFW with w/u, c/d and stretching
Friday - Laps
Saturday - None (but a lot of cleaning)
Sunday - 20 minute AM Yoga Hip Opener routine (LOVE this one!)
Monday - Laps
Gonna try to keep it going...
My swim this morning was a killer! I knew it would be rough as I was going from 600 yards straight to 1,000...which I think is quite a jump. In my pool that's going from 30 touches to 50! That's almost double from one week to the next! It didn't help that I was pressed for time due to:
1) waking up late.
2) following the clock on the wall, until I realized it said 5 to 3 for 15 minutes and I was running late.
3) having to stop for gas because my dolt of a husband decided to go for a late night drive last night to Wendy's (shame on him!), not knowing I was rationing my gas and had JUST ENOUGH to not have to stop in the AM.
4) a traffic jam on the freeway 2 miles from my exit. It took me about 20 minutes to get 1 mile and then I had to go the back way round.
Plus, maybe my new goggles were a little tight. Or my new cap needs adjusting to. *shrug* I tend to think it's just the almost double increase in time without breaks. It required me to take longer strokes in order to take longer breaths and take too many recovery laps not using my legs. And I still ended up with a bit of a headache for my trouble. I was supposed to follow that 1,000 with another 4x100 and then a 2x60 and 2x40, so I was 600 off my target (minus the 20 yards of breast stroke to see the clock and the 20 yards of back stroke back before getting out of the water).
Between the time and the difficulty...I'm not mad at myself for not finishing.
I do think I might have to take another week before I do my mile swim.
According to 0 to 1650 one mile will be just under 83 touches...but according to the gym it's 88 touches for a mile. I'll shoot for the higher number when I do my first mile attempt...but I don't think I'll be ready for that by next Friday. Another week might put me there, though...we'll have to see how the rest of the week pans out.
That being said:
I don't want to be at work.
And there are another 6.5 hours until I can leave.
I guess I'll get some work done in order to get my mind off of the fact that there's another 6.5 hours left and I don't want to be at work.
Have a crockpot meal ready for cooking for dinner tonight.
Another football practice tonight...but this time I'm prepared!
My one big pet peeve of this football practice schedule, though? There is no schedule. I have no clue what other nights this week he'll be practicing. At the end of tonight's practice they'll tell the kids - next practice is [fill in day of the week here] at [fill in time]. It's a bit annoying.
Still, they might be getting jerseys tonight, so that should be fun. I'd love Ethan to keep his same number as last year, but I doubt he'll fit the same jersey this year.
And, for the record...it was really hard trying to forget to weigh in this weekend. Friday passed and that was alright. But Sunday was brutal. It was my old weigh-in day, and I debated all day whether or not I should peek. But I didn't. I stayed away. I realized that I needed to keep this focus. Right now working out and eating right are just a part of my life. I'm not perfect at it, but who is? And I'm not killing myself with negativity either. I'm nervous that it won't produce any results, but the other way - killing myself - didn't produce results either. At least this way I feel like I'm getting things done and I don't hate myself for what I don't do.
You can read about my weekend project(s) over at The Life & Times of the Fit Fat Girl:
Friday, August 03, 2012
Oh my lands...if you could hear the blog titles that have come out of my head this morning! HA! *shaking my head* I feel ashamed.
I'm not having the best day. Or, rather, I'm just not in the best mood. Mostly because I missed my morning swim, which throws off my entire day's plans and I need to rework my day again. Also because I have given in to eating out no less than 4 times in the past 2 days. What IS that? That's not me! It's just a mark of my not being prepared for the changes that needed to be made during the start of the football season. I just didn't realize that sitting for 2 hours in the sun and heat would take so much out of me and that the Olympics being on at the same time would steal hours from my sleeping schedule for the week. But, I'll do what I do best - readjust. I missed my swim this morning, but I won't miss it for the day. Even though I'm sore and tired and could probably use a little rest, I need today's swim both for the stress relief factor and because I'm trying to retrain my body and mind to expect 5 days of workouts and a more relaxed, but still active, weekend. And the only way to stop "starting over" is to stop giving up before the end of the week!
I also think I might need to take a little time from work today. I have had a headache since Tuesday and it's really eating into my stamina as well. I need a good long swim followed by a good long nap followed by a good homecooked and Paleorific meal. That would do me up just right...
We shall see how it all turns out, but I'm trying not to be negative about everything. The morning is over and even though I have the quote, "People are especially stupid today; I can't speak to any more of them." running through my head, I simply can't give in to the negativity because it will shut me down.
How do you guys pull yourself out of a morning slump?
You can see this blog written differently (*lmao*) at The Life & Times of the Fit Fat Girl.
Also keep an eye on that blog because I'll be posting a little recap of this week's new recipes from my meal plan and let your know which ones are keepers, which ones were just alright, and which ones were total flops (there actually WAS a major flop this week!).
I'll also try to keep posting there this weekend...something I don't do here usually. Let's hope I can find the time to do it! (usually I don't blog anywhere on the weekends because I'm trying to get things done and just don't have time to sit down at the computer).
Thursday, August 02, 2012
Yesterday I posted my goals for the month...so how am I doing so far?
Wednesday, August 1st
I got my swim in. Well, most of it. Apparently there was a scary storm coming in and the thunder from it meant I had to get out of the pool after 1200 out of my scheduled 1500 yards.
Aren't you scared? I know I sure was!!
Here I am trying to get away from it...
ONE raindrop hit my windshield on the way home. ...ONE. *sigh*
Dinner did not go exactly as planned. I had a bit of running around to do and Logan had skipped out on doing the dishes so I said "forget it!" and took Hubs and Ethan to the local Mexican place (after stopping off at the sports store to drop some cash on cleats, a mouthguard, and a chin strap sweat band thingy). I did well. Got a chicken nacho appetizer and only ate about 1/2 of it. Did have a few bites of the Chorizo from Hubs' dish, though. They make their chorizo on-site and it is absolutely fabulous!
The best part of my night? I actually shut off the Olympics (I still don't know if any of our guys took home a medal in the all-around) and went to bed at 11pm. Not excellent...but better than the past few nights.
And that meant I was able to get up early today and get my butt to the gym. I was running just a tad behind, but not so much that I had to cut anything from my workout (maybe if I had more time I would've done an extra 3 minutes or so on the TM for my cool down, but that's it).
Today was day 2 of NROLFW, so that meant Workout B1.
Deadlifts - 2x15 - weight: 95 lbs
COMBO SET 1:
Overhead Press - 2x15 - weight: 45 lb bar only
Wide-Grip Lat Pulldown - 2x15 - weight: 60 lbs
COMBO SET 2:
Dumbbell Lunges - 2x15 - weight: 15lbs each hand
Swiss Ball Crunches - 2x15
This was all done after another 5 minute warmup at level 13 on the bike and followed up by almost 10 minutes on the TM. I did only 1 1-minute run session at 5.0. I noticed my foot was NOT having it, so I backed off and walked the rest. I paid extra special attention to my feet and calves during my stretches and went to the showers feeling much better about myself. I'm still sore, yes, but I have to move past this sore and get to where my body is expecting this level of workouts again.
Tomorrow I've got another 1500 yards in the pool. Oh, how I wish my new swim cap(s) and goggles would get here because my old ones are causing all kinds of trouble during my first 600 yards! (I ordered 2-3 swim caps and a pair of goggles for a good price on swimoutlet.com. One is even a London 2012 special edition Lochte silicone cap. -- note: I have no clue why they put Lochte's name on it...probably to sell more...I bought it because I thought it looked cute...I'm not the biggest fan in the world of Lochte...though I like him more after he was humbled in a couple races.) I'll be sure to take pictures when they get here. :)
So that's that. Little snafu this morning. Running late = McD's drivethru, but I opted for an egg mcmuffin, which is slightly better than the sausage mcmuffin I usually get. Oh, and no leftovers for lunch today, so I'll have to figure something out when noon rolls around. Fun! (not...I friggin' hate eating out for lunch now...too many decisions and too many of them not following with what I think my body wants to be consuming nowadays. Maybe I'll spring for some fish or shrimp tacos if I can get the place to make them quickly....but I tend to think I'll likely end up at Subway. *sigh*) Football practice tonight, so dinner will be a late one. Going to have to munch on some nuts and fruit or something after work to hold me over until around 9pm.
Basically, I'm adjusting slowly. It was weird not to weigh-in today, but it felt good too. And after taking some measurements yesterday I realized that I actually lost about an inch on my upper arms last month! It has been FOREVER since I managed to lose anything there. Ya think maybe swimming freestyle 2-3 times a week for anywhere from 25-50 minutes might have anything at all to do with that? I'm sure it does! I had to add my right shoulder to the list of body parts needing iced last night. *lol*
Oh, and I tried these the other day.
It's called Unreal: Candy Unjunked and it's supposed to be a more natural substitute for many of the popular candy bars (this one mocking Reese's PB Cups). You can read my review over it at The Life and Times of the Fit Fat Girl - fitfatgirlblogs.blogspot.com/
How did you start off the month of August? It's not to late to make the first 1/2 week of the month one that lights a fire inside you that might burn all month with regular maintenance. Get out there and play!
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