Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Guess what's coming up?!
When I was a kid growing up I always loved watching the Olympics. I remember trying to catch snippets from the 2008 Olympics when Phelps won all his medals while traveling through NYC for the first time with a friend. This year, however, things are a little different.
First of all, I get it a little more.
I'm understanding a little better how much work and dedication and effort it must take to rise to that level of athletic achievement. I have a lot of Sparkfriends who are dedicated to their hardcore workouts and are always working toward their next PR. Their dedication is astounding to a lot of people. I hear all the time from people how I must be so motivated and dedicated to stick to my workouts even through struggles like injuries. But what we've got going on is nothing to the 6-8 hours a day these people spend every single day in the gym working on getting better, moving faster, developing their technique and honing their skills. This year when I watch the Olympics, it will be with even greater respect. Yes, these athletes probably have something a little "special" in them, but they aren't born superheroes like I once thought they were. They were made. They made themselves. And they continue to do that every single day leading up to one point, to one race, to sometimes 2 minutes or less worth of performance time where they have to put it all out on the line and prove to the world that their dedication to their sport was worth it and they measure up with others like them from across the globe.
So what will *I* be watching?
Swimming, of course. Always a favorite of mine! Also diving and gymnastics. I may try to catch some of the rowing and some archery, but the big three for me of the summer games have and always will be diving, swimming, and gymnastics. This year I may actually try to watch some of the weightlifting as well. I never used to think much of it, but I understand that dedication now more than ever as well.
With all these thoughts rolling through my head and the excitement of the opening games this week pulsing through me, it makes you wonder why I had a major "moment" last night. A binge unlike those I've had in a LONG time. It wasn't me setting out to destroy my work like usual...this was a mindless binge to the point of pain...something I haven't done in a while.
But unlike all the times before, I woke up with a more level head this morning. That was one day. One hour of mistakes. It does not erase the 45 minutes I spent in the pool at 6am yesterday morning. It doesn't mean that all my hopes of ever reaching my goal are lost forever. It was a mistake. It could have been worse. It certainly could have gone better. But no matter - it was, and it's over. Time to move on.
I didn't do my ST routine last night, but not for lack of motivation or whatever. My phone reminded me when I got home last night that I've got another supervised workout tonight at the gym. I'll be meeting a new trainer and I have no clue what he's going to ask of me and I didn't want to completely put myself out last night and have nothing left for today. I still have the tightness in the back of my knee to worry about and the hip stiffness as well. There's a reason why I backed off my workouts for now. Mostly because my body needs it...but also because I want to see if I can maintain my focus even when I'm not stepping into the gym every single day. I want to see if it's possible for me to stay strong and move forward and keep losing while not putting my body through hell. Slow and steady wins the race...or at least that's the theory I'm testing right now.
I'm honestly a little nervous about tonight. Tanner was amazing. He could joke with me and my workouts went by in a quick 45 minutes that felt like 10. He put me through things that seemed so simple but challenged my body in ways I never knew it could be challenged. He worked around my body aches and pains without ever letting up on me. I'm hoping by Tanner suggesting this guy for me it means he'll be the same in his efforts. My goal is to shut my mouth and only say "can't" if it's physically impossible or if I know it's going to mess with my injury in a way that might put me out of business for the rest of the week. The rest...well, I'll get it done. If I walk out of there burning at least 300-400 calories in those 45 minutes, I'll consider it a win. (Incidentally, all of the trainers I've worked with there totally love that I wear my HRM to work out. Both Tanner and Raj kept checking it to make sure they were working me hard enough throughout the entire 45 minutes.)
Plan for the day?
Drink LOTS of water. Flush out the mistakes of last night.
Eat healthy, well balanced Paleo meals.
Put in 100% effort at the gym tonight.
Head home and make a well-balanced Paleo meal for dinner. (We're having steaks and roasted veggies tonight. I made the veggies the other day so I'll only have to reheat those. I'll grill up the steaks with some onions and mushrooms and I think everyone will be quite happy. Let's see if I can NOT overcook mine, though! I don't have steak sauce to fall back on to make it sufferable!)
Get to sleep by 10pm so I can get some decent sleep tonight and wake up early in the morning for more laps. (Well, if we don't go to the demolition derby at the fair, that is...)
The one good thing about my new schedule is that in addition to lap swim time in the AM before work, my gym also has lap swim time every day between 4:30-5:30pm. That means that I'll be able to make up any missed morning laps right after work! I'd rather not have to do this, but it's there if I need it. :)
Oh, and hand wash some clothes. *sigh* Hubs got the part for our washing machine that broke last Wednesday. We thought perhaps it was just the belt (again)...but it seems to have been the motor as well. That means Hubs and I will be setting aside some time to shop for washers in the near future. His next day off is next Monday and I'm wondering if I shouldn't just take the day myself so I can get this whole thing sorted out that day. I NEED a washer in my house, dangit! I don't have oodles of time to spend handwashing everything in the bathtub! And I certainly don't have oodles of time to drag everything to the laundromat...which is probably what I will be doing this weekend. Time to get me a few rolls of quarters and wash everything in my house that needs washing so we're all caught up at least. *sigh*
Oh, the joys of being an adult. *sarcasm*
Monday, July 23, 2012
I honestly, hands down, could not have asked for a better weekend. It was the most fun, relaxed, and enjoyable time that Hubs and I have spent (alone) together in a very, very long time. I think we argued ONE time for about 5 seconds. That's it. Two days mashed together doing everything together, barely glancing at our phones or other electronics that were connected to the outside world, and still we managed to get along like...well, like an old married couple. *lol*
I will say that after we came home last night, though, the missing the kids thing hit big time! *lol* So glad they're coming home today!
Anyhow, to recap just a bit...
We started out heading east to Blackwater Falls in Davis, WV. We took some curvy back roads through the mountains to get there, which really was part of the fun for both of us. We mostly kept our eyes on the road, just taking it all in, laughing over nothing, and listening to some REALLY good music on the radio once we got closer to Morgantown (we both commented on how much we wished we could take that station home with us! We didn't hit a SINGLE bad song the entire time and the commercials were few and far between).
I will admit, however, that it got a little dicey about 2 hours in. My hip started hurting. Like...a LOT. It went from a dull ache to a stinging and stabbing pain to this fire radiating around my entire hip joint. It was torture! Thankfully, we saw a strange little roadside pit stop place as we were coming down the mountain right at the height of my discomfort so we both opted to take a quick break and get out and walk for a minute.
It was a great place to stop too! After using the facilities, Hubs and I walked around the huge yard looking at decades worth of ancient machinery - and donkeys and other animals too! *lol* I kept asking, "What's that?!" but Hubs had no idea either.
Here are a few highlights.
I swear those picker dudes from TV would have had a friggin' field day in this place. For me? It just made me REALLY want the camera I've been dreaming about for about 10 years. (And I've decided that I am GOING to find a way to start saving up for the the thing...even if I just save a buck a week...)
Seemed so random to me to have animals out there...and their droppings created a rather interesting maze of land mines, I'll tell ya! I got about THIS close to dragging some of those donkeys around with us the rest of the day!
After the walking around, my hip felt a LOT better, and Hubs and I got back on the road and finished the winding drive through the mountains to Blackwater Falls.
I have to say, these falls are quite impressive. They aren't "beautiful" in the sense that I think of most waterfalls. It's not a place I'd like to have a lunch next to and sit for a while and chat. In fact, it's stupidly loud because (I guess from the rains lately) there is SO MUCH WATER going down the rocks! These falls are more impressive in the way Niagra Falls is (in fact, it reminded me of a smaller version of that). Hubs was supremely impressed and even told me later that it totally lived up the the expectation he had in his head...in fact, it may have surpassed it!
From the first platform down the LONG steps (over 200).
Getting closer and getting wet.
Interesting side note...the water in the falls is supposed to look like tea. I'd say so!
One thing I should mention is that Hubs and I didn't do quite as much "hiking" as we thought we would. I forgot that Hubs stubbed his pinky toe something awful a week or two again and is still limping. So between my hip and knee and his toe...well, those 200+ steps down and then back up...well that was all the workout we really needed!
After another quick potty break it was back on the road to head to our B&B for the night.
Well, after a quick stop to see The Smallest Church in 48 States...which, yes, was really small! *lol* I'd say you could fit MAYBE 24 people in here plus the preacher.
I have always wanted to stay in a Bed & Breakfast, but I never knew whether I would find it charming or creepy (it's like staying in someone else's house!). Thankfully, the place we went was quaint and quiet and I had reserved us the best room in the place (which, also thankfully, was in another building from the main house). For any interested parties, we stayed at The Inne at Watson's Choice in the Harvest House in Uniontown, PA. The owners didn't bother us at all after check-in, but made sure we knew that they were willing to help meet any of our needs if we had any (and gave us a number to call their main residence on the property).
Some pics from the property...
We immediately sat down to plan out dinner. We both wanted it to be a bit "fancy" but we weren't willing to pay $100 for dinner. Seriously, we consider $60 a fancy dinner night. We're happier around $20 for the two of us. I found a place that served fine dining food, but at a more reasonable price (they actually served a meal - with sides - for the same price you'd get just a steak and a small salad at comparable places).
I highly, HIGHLY recommend this place to anyone in the Uniontown area. I think it's also a B&B (or maybe it used to be?), but it has a full restaurant downstairs. Hubs and I actually walked in the wrong door and got to see the kitchen staff hard at work before we were seated. The staff was friendly and pleasant and simply showed us to a table.
Hubs had a seafood pasta dish. It was a rare treat for him as I didn't think he much cared for mussels and clams (he admitted when the dish came that he didn't care for them much, but I figured maybe he hadn't had them cooked properly, and from the way he devoured them? I'd say I was right! *lol*). The shrimp in the dish was HUGE!
Hubs didn't say a word when I ordered a second glass of Blackberry Merlot after having tried it. AMAZING! (I'm so mad I forgot to ask what brand it was because it was SO good. No bite whatsoever!) As for dinner, I tried to be as Paleo as I could as I didn't want any stomach problems upsetting my weekend. I did have a roll, but as for the food, I ordered the house chicken (which, other than the heavy cream, was completely Paleo). It had mushrooms and sundried tomatoes on it and was amazing! The people at the table next to us also remarked on how good it was.
But the best thing I had all night (besides the merlot, of course) was the Sesame Ginger dressing on my salad! YUM! Do NOT miss this one if you end up at this place.
I had intended to order dessert (and they had grilled peaches too! *pouts*) but I just couldn't eat another bite! We settled up our bill (around $60 bucks with tip!) and headed out.
It may be blurry, but it's the only full-length shot I got of us all weekend. The nice lady kept telling us, "We can take one on the stairs!" Maybe that's what we should have done...
After dinner, Hubs said we could go see a movie or something, but I had other plans. We ended up back at the B&B with a bottle of rose champagne and Casablanca (which Hubs outright REFUSED to watch about a half a dozen times...but I put it on and asked him to just lay with me for a bit and he ended up LOVING it!! *lol* He says it's because of all the Nazis. *snort*).
The next morning, even though I had hoped and prayed for waffles or French toast (I actually WANTED something non-Paleo *lol*), I ended up with an almost completely Paelo breakfast. Fresh fruit, vegetable bake (like a quiche), a small slice of artisan bread with butter, and grilled or roasted tomatoes and zucchini. There was some coffee cake and other pastries, and I had a few bites, but the breakfast was really quite delicious and their coffee was really good as well!
Possibly the best thing I planned for the trip was coming up. Hubs loves architecture and I love nature. What better than to go see a Frank Lloyd Wright house, right?! We could've gone to either Kentuck Knob or Fallingwater or both, but we were already running low on energy, and I with my hip and knee and him with his wobble from his toe...we figured one would be plenty...and if you're going to pick just one FLW house to see, you pick Fallingwater. SO glad we did. It was everything I expected and more! Hubs loved it as well and I kept thinking how funny it was that we made this a weekend of waterfalls. *lol*
We made one last stop on our way home for coffee and (more importantly) for the dessert I had missed the night before. We ended up at Almost Heaven Desserts and Coffee Shop in Bridgeport, WV. The iced latte I had was pretty good, but the cannoli, Hubs' shake, and the chocolate cake left a lot to be desired (I had a bite of the cannoli and cake and took the rest home...Hubs drank his shake but he said it was really bland). The place, however, was saved with their White Chocolate Biscotti. SOOOO good!
If I'm ever in the area again, I'll be stopping by to see what other kinds of biscotti they have on sale that day. (The girl working there said the anise kind was her favorite.)
A couple edited pics for you...
I guess it's back to the real world now. Work today, and time to get used to my 5-day a week 8-hour days shift now. The boys will be showing up here around 3pm I think and I'll be off at 4pm. Thankfully I already started the morning with my 1200 lap scheduled swim, but NROLFW will have to wait and I'll have to swap in some bodyweight ST tonight instead as I'll be needing to take the boys home.
The rest of the week, the plan is simple.
Tomorrow - Rest
Wednesday - Laps before work, NROLFW after work
Thursday - Rest
Friday - Laps before work, NROLFW after work
Saturday - 30 minutes of yoga
Thankfully, I weighed this morning and even though my water drinking left something to be desired this weekend and we were in the car a LOT and I didn't count a single calorie, I'm only up 2 pounds...which I'm guessing is most likely just bloat. I'll be pounding the water for the next few days and hope to even out or even maybe see a loss again on Friday. Even 1/2 a pound would thrill me after having one of the best weekends on record! ;) The only struggle I'll be facing this week is whipping together a meal plan...I didn't plan for one this weekend like I usually do, so I'll have to try to fly by the seat of my pants for the next few days. Hopefully I'm skilled enough and have been doing this long enough to be able to do that without any problem.
Hope you all had a great weekend!
Thursday, July 19, 2012
So I struggled yesterday with many things in my head.
1) I REALLY want to see a loss on the scale this week. Even after 3 weeks of loss, I still feel like I haven't quite broken through this plateau yet...so I really feel like I need a loss this week to feel like I'm still moving in the right direction.
2) My weight is up right now. This is probably partly due to TOM, partly due to a little "bad" eating on my part in the first part of the week, and partly due to my body being a PITA right now. *lol* I weighed in at Friday's weigh-in at 305.8, but have been hovering at 307 and 307.2 for the past few days. Which really makes #1 look hopeless.
3) My body is SORE. My hip/pelvic pain wasn't magically cured by a Chiropractor's visit. Go figure, right?! ;) I'm still icing and recovering, and my hip is still sore. It didn't really feel bad on my run the other night, but while stretching later, I think I may have reinjured it somehow because I had nightmares about the pain and woke up HURTING. It feels a little better today, so at least that's good. But add to that the fact that my knee popped during my swim yesterday morning and I've been feeling some tightness in the back of that knee and...well, my body feel pretty beat up right now.
So I struggled with the thoughts in my head of whether to continue to push through or back off. I hate these decisions, as I'm sure most of us do. There's really no way of knowing 100% what is the right thing to do. I sat with the thoughts all day and weighed my options and came up with the following.
1) My knee. There have been times that this bad knee of mine hasn't bothered me at all, no matter what kind of stress I put it under. When are those times? When I'm doing serious ST or lifting. When I build up the muscles around that knee, the knee cap tends to stay in place better.
2) Running right now is hurting me. It may not always be like this, but if I continue to push it, I'm just going to end up not being able to do anything because of the pain. So maybe it's really not time quite yet to get my running legs back.
3) The one thing I really AM doing okay at is my swimming. I feel easier and more comfortable in the pool and now that I have access to one, it would be a shame to waste that. I've gone from struggling to do 100 yards in the pool, to doing 1200 yesterday. I've gone from breathing heavy after one 1/2 lap, to being able to do 10 laps (20 touches). I'm improving.
4) Yes, I've taken my measurements. I took them the other day, just to get an update on what's happening. Even with the bloat, my hips/waist area is about the same, so maybe after the bloating leaves I'll actually have lost an inch or so there. But where I've really lost is my shoulders/upper arms and my legs. Both thighs and calves have shrunk a bit...so it wasn't all that odd to hear Hubs remark just last night out of the blue, "Your legs are getting smaller! I can tell." I hadn't told him about my measurements and he still noticed. So while I'd really like this belly to go away, at least there are improvements being made. And I can't really credit that to running because I haven't been able to do that much of that. The only thing I've been doing consistently is swimming.
5) My body needs taken care of by me. I've been pushing it hard lately, and that's been a great test of both my motivation and my ability. But if I push too hard, I end up too sore to continue. So it's time to level off and find the happy place as far as my workouts are concerned.
6) My work schedule changes next week. Ethan starts football in 2 weeks. Things are about to change, and I need to be ready for them. More than that, I need to be ready to not have as much time to devote to myself and to this process as I once did. Football eats up a lot of our time, so I'm going to have to make sure I plan ahead so I can get what I need to continue on and still give my kids what they need. Plus, school starts next month and I need to be ready for nights full of homework with Logan to make sure he doesn't fall behind this year. (Ethan is self-sufficient on that front.) That means making dinner on time and being there to make sure all of Logan's homework is completed and checked and that he fully understands the concepts involved.
It's time to stop overthinking things.
It's time to make a plan I can stick with full-time.
K.I.S.S. - Keep it simple, stupid.
No time to play games. I need to know what's going on each day so I don't have to think about it and can just go do.
Here's what I've come up with...
For the next two days, I will not workout. I will give my body the time it needs to rest. I will relax and take a breath and enjoy life. Okay, I will MOSTLY not workout. I have scheduled one 30 minute yoga session for tomorrow so that I can stretch out the kinks in my body. It should give me another 150 calorie burn and set me right at my calorie burn for the week. But if I don't have time for it (new development last night - my washer is broken...so I need to add a trip to the laundry mat into my Friday plans... *sigh*), I'm not going to stress. I will eat a little less to compensate for the decline in activity, but will not starve myself.
I'm going to do my best to ignore this guy tomorrow morning. Let's face it, this morning I got another 307.2 reading. The cramps are on full-force and I'm deep into week 2 of this horrible TOM that may last ALL month. Some things just cannot be overcome. I can't let the stress ruin my weekend and my life. I need to just accept what happens and move on. Heck, maybe if I don't go crazy over it, I'll see a really BIG loss next week and get caught up. But even if I don't, just knowing that I did what my mind, body and soul needed this week should be enough to make me feel okay about how I handled myself.
I'm not giving up. I've made new plans that I can stick to and feel better about myself for them.
Mondays, Wednesdays, and now Fridays - I will swim my laps, working toward my one mile swim goal.
On those same days, or three other days in the same week, I will go to the gym and lift weights like I know I should. Time to pull out NROLFW and let that plan work for me. It will make my body stronger and will not wear me out completely for the rest of my workouts.
And one day a week - probably Saturday - I will give myself a 30 minute yoga session to make sure I work out all the kinks in my body and prepare myself for the week to come. I need to invest in a couple more Yoga DVDs to be sure, but that's something I'm more than prepared to do.
If I cannot get to the gym for my ST lessons, I will pull out a tried and true bodyweight routine that includes things like squats, lunges, planks, pushups, and those dreaded burpees. I know that I know how to make up circuit routines, so I need to make up a strength circuit that will help me in those days when I feel stuck or suffocated by the gym and my list of to-dos.
I will eat at a slightly lower range, but not too much lower. Let's face it, when I eat right, I have a problem trying to get my 2400 calories on a daily basis. I'm going to shoot for 2200 or thereabouts. At least, I think that's what I came up with yesterday...I'll have to go check one last time to be sure. If I'm doing heavy lifting and feel hungrier, though, I will understand that my body needs more to enhance/build my muscles and may go back to a higher range. I'll have to play that one by ear.
For right now, I'm not going to count my ST as a calorie burn workout. It's just going to be "extra" for right now. I need some time to just focus on form and function and getting my muscles stronger without worrying about how many calories I need to burn.
If I stick to the plan above, I should be on target to lose weight. I will workout about 3-4 hours a week, which is plenty for someone who is trying to lose weight without letting it take over her life. Working out 7-9 hours a week is something for figure competitors and athletes. I am neither, therefore, there is no need for me to attempt to rise to that level of gym perfection. In those 4 hours in the gym (and with the yoga at home), I should be burning around 1800 calories. That's 1/2 a pound right there. Slow and steady wins the race, right?
If I feel up to it, I will take long walks or might squeeze in a short run or two. I'd like to not lose any stamina I've rebuilt for running, so it'd be great to get one in each week if I can. But I'm not going to force it...I'm just going to let it happen if it will and if I feel up to it.
=== === === ===
Here's the next 9 days mapped out then:
Today - REST, ICE, and HEAL
Friday - REST, ICE and HEAL and try to do 30 minutes of Yoga
Saturday - Hiking for 1-2 hours without worrying about calorie burn AT ALL
Sunday - REST, ICE and HEAL
Monday - Laps in the pool, repeating week 3 of my training, ST session after work
Tuesday - REST
Wednesday - Laps in the pool, Week 3 Day 2 again, ST session after work
Thursday - REST
Friday - Laps in the pool, Week 3 Day 3 again, ST session after work
NROLFW Week 1:
A1 - Squats, Pushups, Seated Rows, Step-Ups, Prone Jackknifes
A - Barbell Squats (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
B1 - Pushups (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
B2 - Seated Cable Rows (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
C1 - Step-Ups (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
C2 - Prone Jackknife (2 sets, 8 reps, 60 second rest)
B1 - Deadlifts, Shoulder Presses, Wide-Grip Lat Pulldowns, Lunges, Exercise Ball Crunches
A - Deadlift (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
B1 - Dumbbell Shoulder Press (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
B2 - Wide-Grip Lat Pulldowns (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
C1 - Lunges (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
C2 - Swiss-Ball Crunch (2 sets, 8 reps, 60 second rest)
A2 - Squats, Pushups, Seated Rows, Step-Ups, Prone Jackknifes
A - Barbell Squats (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
B1 - Pushups (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
B2 - Seated Cable Rows (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
C1 - Step-Ups (2 sets, 15 reps, 60 second rest)
C2 - Prone Jackknife (2 sets, 8 reps, 60 second rest)
=== === === ===
So that's the KISS plan.
Laps 3 times a week.
Lifting (or bodyweight ST) 3 times a week.
Yoga 1 time a week.
Ever feel like you're pushing too hard? Do you usually try to break through the pain or do you try to change the plan to suit your needs?
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
So, I'm still totally scared of the scales, but I check in every day. Seems TOM (MAY be leaving me now...*crosses fingers*) and my inability to do as much as I was doing last week, combined with whatever else I have going on (pain, mostly) has me right around 307. *bangs head on desk* Seriously, if I do not see a loss this week...even .1 pound, I think I might throw in the towel for good.
I know what you're thinking. "It's just one week!" But it's not. It's been my life for the past 6-7 months. I'm treading water and not getting any damn where and I'm sick and friggin' tired of it. So there.
Still, Friday is two days away and I'm not giving up without a fight. Most weeks my weight fluctuates up the first few days, and then back down the rest of the week, so hopefully that trend will continue. (It did come down like 1/2 a pound today from yesterday.) Friday is all that counts, really, so I'm going to do what I can for the next two days and see where I'm at again on Friday.
My eating was good yesterday.
I did go for my run, but I'm paying for it now.
My hip still hurts and, honest to God, it's pissing me the hell off.
Once again, I'm going to have to give up the one thing I love more than anything.
Even though I love the way it makes me feel in the moment and just after.
Even though it seems to be the best for my endurance and stamina.
My body friggin' hates me and it's going to do everything it can to stop me from succeeding.
My heart is too good to get any rise from a low impact workout.
My body is too weak to do anything more.
Rock, meet Hard Place.
Now that we're getting to know each other...
Could someone PLEASE find me a sledgehammer?!
Don't worry, it's not all doom and gloom over here.
(Though I do tend to get snarky and sarcastic when I'm upset over something I feel I'm losing control over...I call it "snarktastic".*)
Last night I threw together a beef stir fry that was mostly Paleo and included a crapton of veggies. Carrots, cabbage, red pepper, onion, and kale, all mixed together with beef flank steak. Not a single complaint from any of the boys/men in the house. And all I needed after that was a couple dark chocolate chips to satiate my sweet tooth and the rest of the night was spent resting and icing and going to bed early.
And I am proud to report that I was able to pull myself out of bed early for an early morning swim. 1200 yards this morning. OMG! I felt that! I am SUPER sore. I could feel the heat radiating off my body in the water. It's so strange to sweat while you're in a pool of water. I mean, you know what your body is doing, but there are no outward signs of it. STRANGE.
Anyhow, I'm on week 3 of my 0 to 1650.
400 yards, 12 breath break
200 yards, 10 breath break
4x100, 6-8 breath break (I forget)
4x50 (which I split into 2x60 and 2x40), 4 breath break
It went pretty alright. I had to do a couple laps in "recovery" mode (not kicking my legs) to stave off an oxygen-deprived headache, but I came out of it in the end and only cramped up a smidge on my last two laps. Not too bad, especially considering I went into it with a sore left knee (it did pop out at one point) and a bum hip (I never knew how important hips were for swimming until I started this program). Plus (shh...secret time...) I beat the guy in the pool next to me! Nevermind that he was probably 20 years older than me and I barely beat him, but I DID beat him without really trying too hard. *snort* (No, it wasn't a competition...but my competitive mind can't help but notice when it's in first place. *lol*)
So, I'm still moving forward. I did have another ungodly breakfast (g'd'it golden M! *shakes fist*), but I'm all out of eggs and haven't had the chance to get more, leaving little left at my house but cereal. Grains...with dairy poured over it...full of sugar. Hrm. No. Of course, what I had wasn't much better, so...
AND, no leftovers from last night, which means I'll have to grab something for lunch today. Always a challenge, but I think I'm up to it. (Or I'll just force down another salad with tuna on it. I think I've decided that I don't much care for tuna unless it's in sushi form...) For dinner I'm making our Sausage and Cabbage "Noodles" with Fried Apples again, so I'm really looking forward to that.
And tomorrow? Who knows! I haven't even figured that out yet. It will just be Hubs and I and the temptation to eat out will be enormous, but I have to hold off on that for the weekend and try to find something to cook. Again, this will be after my "run" that will now be a 35-40 minute walk. *sigh* (I can't help it. It makes me feel like a loser remembering where I once was and now feeling like I'm incapable of just about everything. I'm having to skip the Rockin' Body routines as well, even though I can already see them working off my love handles, because they work my hips too much. *trying not to scream*)
I have nothing else for you.
I'm doing whatever I can get away with...but it hurts.
Going to try stretching again, but I wonder if I didn't hurt it worse last night with some of my stretches.
Need to ice myself later.
I don't have to be at work until 10am tomorrow.
This means I could do my walk in the AM and be done with it, if I wanted to.
Or I could just sleep in.
Either way, I'm going to get some much needed rest once the boys are off with G'ma.
And they'll be gone until Monday!
And I leave Saturday with Hubs for a quick romantic getaway!
AND I'm taking Friday for myself and doing pretty much whatever I want. I may end up at the gym for some more laps since I missed Monday, but after that I plan on hitting up Old Navy to reward my good deeds from last week and the week before and get some stuff for this weekend (for FREE! *lol*). I may also walk/shop through the mall. Haven't done that in a while...
And I may look into that new suit I really need. This one is wearing down pretty quickly now, so a replacement will have to happen very soon.
Mantra for today:
Just get through today, a shorter day tomorrow, and then you can relax and enjoy your weekend.
BTW - I have already decided that Saturday and Sunday I will not log ANYTHING. I may look things up to see if they're reasonable, but I'm going to mostly go on gut and intuition. I don't plan on overindulging, though I do fully intend to share some dessert with my Hubs on Saturday night and may have a glass of wine or champagne with dinner. Other than that, I'll be conscious without being overbearing over what I eat and how much I move. I need to give myself that. The freedom to just BE for a day and a half. When I get back home, it's back on!
I'm not worried too much about this since all we have planned is hiking, followed by more hiking, followed by a fancy dinner (which usually means reasonable portions), followed by a delicious homecooked breakfast (honestly, this might be the only thing I could feel guilty about, but I refuse to as it is my first and only time in a B&B and I plan on enjoying the experience if I can), followed by more hiking, followed by a car ride home. What's there to worry about? The books I plan on reading during the drive or on down times? The whirlpool bath I plan on taking Saturday night? All the hiking and picture taking I plan on doing? Probably the first trip in a LONG time where I haven't thought or cared too much about when and where we eat, just all the stuff I want to see and relaxing I want to do.
* GG quote, anyone?! ;)
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Yesterday was not a good day.
I do not get any stars for my chart.
I attempted laps in the lap pool, but after 5 was kicked out due to thunder outside.
Instead of refocusing, I got annoyed and gave up for the day.
Damage is done...hopefully not too much.
Need to get back into my RB routines so I can continue to see my middle shrink.
The hardest part for me lately has been trying not to focus on how much I hate how my body looks right now.
Three more days of work.
Four more days of hard workouts before fun activities this weekend.
Gotta keep my focus or I'll go into this weekend with shame, regret, and guilt and won't be able to enjoy any of it.
Second hardest part is my ultimate fear of the scale.
After months of not moving at all, followed by three solid weeks of progress, I am still not down to the lowest I saw during my plateau and still fear I will yo-yo back up again.
305 is perhaps one of the scariest weights for me right now.
And fear can be paralyzing.
I have to learn how to break through and move forward now or I might never be able to.
I hate feeling scared and anxious.
And TOM is not helping me AT ALL.
I feel like I'm fighting to swim upstream through raging rapids.
(Note: With the depo, I go months without noticing anything, and then I'll get hit with one of those awful TOM that is slow and steady and painful for days or, sometimes, weeks. I'm hoping this one lets go after today.)
Fear of failure.
Fear of success.
But it is easier to end a week saying, "I did all that I could" than it is to end it in shame knowing I am the cause of my failures.
Let the weight sort itself out while I move forward.
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